Original subtitles

Even after Eliza and I had gotten engaged, she still held tightly to this

of a storybook romance.

She kept everything on the surface, never wanting to go deeper or open up.

knew that if we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, we couldn't

exist as a one -dimensional couple anymore.

And so I took the first step of moving us beyond that.

You know, so, uh, I've been thinking.

We don't really talk too much about your mom.

Why would we? She's not in my life anymore.

Yeah, I know.

But, I don't know, why is that?

You never really told me.

Why are you doing this now?

This is a happy day.

We're making our wedding invite.

Oh, that's exactly why.

I mean, we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, right?

I figure we might as well be open about our past.

It's embarrassing.

Yeah, I don't care.

Logan! What?

I'm just saying, I want to know everything about you.

You know, even the not -so -great parts.

I get it, babe. You know, your life's not perfect, and neither is mine.

I don't talk to her anymore because of something she did to my friend Lily.

Which was... what?

A few months after my father died, things were really hard for my family.

My brother kept getting into legal trouble, and my mother and I...

We just weren't handling it well.

I'm glad you like it.

It's delicious.

Yeah, we worked so long in the kitchen. He's so cute, though. Lily was the one

that helped center us again.

She'd bring over comfort food and distract us with stories about her love

We couldn't get sucked into our sadness when she was around because he was just

so happy.

The kind of happy that makes it impossible for anyone around her not to

happy.

Anyway. Lily started dating this guy from our church, Jesse.

He was basically this reformed bad boy.

And she was totally in love with him.

Jesse had respected the fact that Lily was a virgin.

He even promised her he'd wait for her. But my mother kept encouraging her to

have sex with him.

Well, I think if you love him, you chill him.

Live in the moment.

Just never know when that's going to be too late. Like, I should have eaten my

ice cream.

If she wants to wait, just let her.

Hey, you think I should have sex with him?

Yeah, you love him, don't you?

Wouldn't Jesus be mad?

And so Lily, maybe against her better judgment, took my mother's advice.

I want you to be my first.

Listen, I told you.

We don't have to do this. We can wait as long as you want.

But I don't need you to wait. I'm ready.

Sure?

So sure.

Yeah?

Oh, God.

This is so hard.

Does that feel good?

It looks so big.

You like touching it?

I've never touched anything like it before.

Yeah, I keep kissing.

Is your mouth getting all watery thinking about it? Yeah.

Oh,

yes.

You're so fucking sexy.

I know I'm going to tease you.

Don't blow it out yet.

Oh, my God.

Bigger than you thought? Yeah.

Like that?

Yeah, keep going.

Yes. Spread that pussy.

Yes, of course.

You look like you want it.

Yeah? I want you to take my virginity. You do?

Well, let's see if you can put it in your mouth first.

Take it out.

Oh, my God.

Put all of it in there?

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Just like that.

You did a good job.

Am I? Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Yes, just like that with your hand.

Yeah, you can't forget the boss

You may have never done that before.

I told you I wanted you to be my first step.

Oh my God.

The way it tastes. Yes.

Do you like it? Yeah.

That person's so fucking fat.

You know we're going to reach you.

my dick and taste your pussy.

Let me fuck you up, yeah?

Let me fuck you up.

Get your leg up.

I'm so glad you were my first.

Sex for Lily was more than just physical.

It was this soulful experience.

The one thing that would keep her tied to Jesse.

And it turns out it was.

A month later, she finds out she's pregnant.

And Jesse, being the born -again Christian, marries her.

And she was so happy about it.

Everything was working out perfectly.

She had a baby on the way and a great husband.

And I think it was Lily's happiness that made my mother so resentful.

And that's what ultimately led her to do what she did.

Which was what?

Sabotage the relationship.

Obviously, Lily, my mom, and Jesse all have different versions of this story.

But from what I pieced together, my mom invited Jesse home after church one day.

It was under the guise that she had a gift for Lily.

Some baby book or something.

It was just a convoluted plan to get him to go to our house so she could seduce

him. What?

Yep.

And she did.

Jesse, being the bad boy, just couldn't resist.

The affair went on for months behind Lily's back.

And then one day, she caught them.

And that was that.

Lily was so distraught, she miscarried.

And the whole town blamed my family.

Blamed my mother.

The shitty thing was, everything was already so hard with my father being

that it was just unbearable.

God.

It certainly sounded like it.

I was so angry with my mother for what she did.

So I moved out here, and I've never looked back.

I'm sorry.

So if you wonder why I don't talk about my past, that's why.

I just don't.

I want to look forward, not backward.

I get it.

I understand, I do.

But with that being said, do you think there's any way you can learn to forgive

your mother?

Maybe. That's the problem, family.

You still love him.

Even when you hate him.

What's up?

Hi.

I'm Logan. I'm looking for...

Shit, you don't waste any time, do you?

Look, man, you can look all around, all right? Under every pillow, whatever you

want. Ain't nothing here.

Uh... Hey, whoa, what, what, what are you... Don't look over there, look at

all right? I'm talking to you, okay? I can give you the tour, if you'd like.

Walk you around, show you where everything's not.

Yeah, listen, I'm just looking... I know what you're looking for, man.

Okay? I know what you're fucking looking for. But you're not gonna find it,

okay? That whole drug life, dude, been locked up for a year. I'm done with that

shit, okay?

I'm done. You can sniff your dogs around, whatever you want to do. I'm

that life, all right? Okay.

Hey, glad to hear it, really.

My name's Logan, and I'm Eliza's fiancé.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck. All right. God, I'm sorry, bro. I thought you were my P .O. I mean,

you look like a cop, you know? I get it.

Wow. I almost shit myself.

Okay, Eliza, right?

How's she doing? I haven't seen her in like a year.

She's actually doing really well.

She's in art school right now. You know what? That's great.

I'd love to hear about it, but I've got a chick in my room, see, and I've been

locked up for like a year, so I've got to get to it.

You hang out here, bud.

Yeah, sure.

Everything's gone.

You didn't flush it, right?

What? You flushed it?

You told me to.

Oh, fuck.

Okay, that wasn't my PO. That was Eliza's friend.

Babe, I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Fuck.

This is fucking paranoia, you know? It's like, I just got out of prison. Like,

fucking, we could...

We got all these drugs in the house. It's just that if I get caught, I go

It's just stressful, you know?

Stressful.

What?

Maybe if you stopped doing legal things and got a real job, then you wouldn't

have to worry about that.

Huh.

Man, I never really thought of that.

Babe, I've been waiting for a year for you to get out of jail.

I really don't want you going back.

I'm going back.

I don't want to get locked up and be away from this.

Get that ass right in there.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, yeah.

Ooh.

I'm Eliza's fiancé.

Oh.

She's engaged.

Good for her.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm Alexis.

Hi. Pleasure to meet you.

So, uh, what are you doing here?

Well, I came here because I wanted to personally invite you to the wedding.

Okay.

Does she know that?

Uh, no.

But I plan to tell her very soon.

Well, okay.

She doesn't talk to me.

Yeah, I know.

And I don't see that changing anytime soon.

So, did she tell you what happened?

Yes, she did.

You must think I'm a terrible person.

You're still here?

Yeah. Oh, Mom, this is Logan.

I know who he is.

Wait, he was here the whole time?

Have you been here all day?

All morning, yeah.

You are so close to me looking for a job, Xander. And that's where we're

right now.

At least one of my kids loved me.

Where were we?

You were saying that I probably think you're a terrible person.

Yeah, that's it.

Which I don't, by the way.

Thanks.

You know, I know what it's like.

Sometimes people make bad decisions in shitty situations.

You know, I've been there before.

Have you?

Yeah, but...

I don't need to bore you with details of my past.

Please, give me the details. I hate small talk.

Well, about four years ago, my brother passed.

And it kind of sent me into a spiral.

You know, I was drinking, I was doing drugs, you name it, and I probably

did it.

Which I definitely shouldn't have just told you.

Being that I'm about to marry your daughter.

No judgment.

Would you like some wine?

Um, sure.

Have a seat. I'll go get it.

You know, I would love for Alive and I to reconnect. I just don't see that

happening anytime soon.

At least not until she acknowledges her part in everything.

What part?

She didn't tell you about Ryan, did she?

Ryan?

Well, she didn't tell you about him. Just forget about it.

Well, I mean, to be honest, she hardly opens up about her past.

Yeah, well, she's guarded. She's been my way always.

Um, so what's the story with Ryan?

Well, Ryan was a pastor at our church.

We were living in a small, tight -knit religious community.

And as Jesse and I were starting our affair, apparently Eliza was too.

I went ahead and organized all the Bible studies. I don't blame her.

She was so lonely and confused, and Ryan paid attention to her.

She looked up to him.

She needed a male role model.

So are you. And one day, in our church rectory, things just got out of hand.

You know, things at home aren't great, but I enjoy my work here.

Well, that's what's important.

Do you enjoy your work here?

I do.

I really do.

I enjoy you being here.

I'm glad.

You still pray?

I love you.

did was wrong.

So he immediately came out to his wife, the entire church.

He did leave Eliza's identity secret.

It's her own fault that everybody found out.

She went crazy sending emails, scenes at the church.

She just couldn't handle... And having another man leave her?

Exactly.

You know...

After the thing with Jesse and I came out and Lily miscarried her baby,

everything just went to shit.

Liza blames me for everything.

I'm sorry.

It is what it is.

You know, at the end of the day, we just all want someone to connect with.

When I got back home, I didn't tell Eliza where I'd been.

I knew she was sensitive, especially regarding her mother.

And I knew if there was any hope of reconciling things between the two of

she was going to have to start accepting responsibility for her own actions.

I bought more glitter.

Oh. Are you mad?

No.

It's a wedding, right?

There can never be too much glitter.

I was just thinking about what you said.

About how everyone at your church turned on you after your mom... No.

No? I don't want to talk about my past, Logan. I told you this.

Okay. I get it.

It's just... Clearly, you're not over it, Eliza.

Gluties.

I loved Eliza, but I hated how closed off she was. There was something so

refreshing about how easily her mother just embraced the truth.

There was no facade, no protecting who she was or the image she wanted to

portray. She was real and flawed, and I needed someone like that in my life.

And so, against my better judgment, I called her.

Just to talk to her about something other than nothing.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. Hello?

Alexis?

Hey. How are you? I needed something more than just service.

And she provided that. Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice.

Our conversations would last for hours, and when the time came to hang up, I

missed her.

She could offer me something that Eliza couldn't, and it was then that I

realized I didn't want her and Eliza to reconcile.

Selfishly, I wanted to keep both of those relationships completely separate

one another. Which became exponentially harder as Alexis and I grew closer

together.

I'm so glad you came over.

Me too.

To friends.

What?

I did not invite you over here for friendship.

What are you... What

are you doing?

Aren't you thirsty?

I thought you came over.

You're thirsty.

Yeah.

See how you're looking at me?

Coming over here.

Calling me late at night.

Get in there.

Look it up.

Here we are.

Oh, good.

Oh,

good.

Look at you with those sweet eyes.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Bye. Bye.

I don't like your fucking face.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

fuck. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to fuck you back, don't you? Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Yes. I thought I fucking had to take that.

There you go. Fuck.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm not kidding.

Yes.

Although I eventually ended up marrying Eliza, I continued seeing her mother.

I was so entrenched in both relationships that I had no idea where

ended or began.

You know, you've been traveling a lot for work lately.

Oh, don't remind me.

I hate it.

Oh my god.

What?

That's my old - Pastor Ryan.

Oh, really?

Yeah. I transferred to a new parish.

Huh.

Yeah. My mom was a fan of him, too.

Completely ruined his marriage.