Original subtitles

[cicadas chirping]

[power surges]

[Evil Eye roars]

You bastard!

[splash]

I am so sorry.

Jeez. How many times do we have to tell you?

- When you wash your hands, use hot water! - [Turbo Granny] Take that!

- [Seiko] Would ya ease up on Jiji? - And that!

- [Seiko] Can you see he's in a tough spot? - Dummy!

- [groaning] - [Momo sighs] Are you okay?

Yes. I think so.

[Jiji] Okarun! I'm so sorry!

[Okarun] You barely touched me, really.

[whispers] The Evil Eye's gotten a heck of a lot stronger.

[Momo sighs]

Hey, Grandma, I think we're in over our heads.

Jiji's tryin', but he can't be careful all the time.

Yeah, you got a point.

We might not have a house by mornin'.

[Momo] We definitely won't!

[man yelling]

[both] Huh?

[man drawing out yell]

[yell warbling]

[yell fades into growl]

[all] Uh...

[footsteps]

[screams musically] Pardon the intrusion!

Piss off right back where you came from.

- [group] Okey-dokey. - [electronic music playing]

[Aira sighs]

- When are those hayashi folks comin'? - [Seiko] Who knows?

[Momo] Okay, we need a game plan for when this happens again.

We're all over the place.

- Especially you, Aira. - [Aira] Me? I'm the leader.

That means you should be following my lead.

If we followed the lead of a dumbass, we'd all die!

What did you say?

- You rotten pig! - [Momo] Fugly bitch!

- [Aira] Pig! - [Momo] Fugly!

- [both yelling] - [Okarun] Um... Excuse me.

[all] Huh?

We're sorry to bother you again, but does Seiko Ayase live here?

Yeah. It's my house.

Oh! Awesome.

Um, we're the ones...

...that you sent a request for.

[all three] We're the hayashi.

We're the hayashi!

[all] Huh?

[song in Japanese playing]

DAN DA DAN

♪ Dan, Dan, Da Da Dan... ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

♪ Dan, Dan, Da Da Dan... ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

♪ Dan Da Dan, Da Dan... ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

[whirring]

EPISODE 18: WE BECAME A FAMILY

[sizzling and humming]

[Seiko] You shoulda told me who you were at the start.

[singer] It's our side gig, and we kinda wanna keep it on the down low. Sorry.

[humming]

[power pulsing]

[pulsing increases]

[feedback whirring]

[Momo] Wicked!

I wasn't expecting anything like this, and I'm so here for it.

- This is cool! - This is dumb.

[Momo] Those dudes are spirit mediums?

- Hell, no. They can't even sense 'em. - [Momo] Huh?

- But their set's supposed to be legit. - [singer] Check, check. One-two.

They got the power to make their sound break through to the spirit world.

[singer] One-two.

[Seiko] Anyway, it's good they ain't mediums.

[pulsing accelerating]

That way, they can't be corrupted by evil spirits during an exorcism.

[power whirring]

- Ah! [yells] - [playing rock riff]

- Oh, whoa! - [crashing]

- [all] Huh. - [singer] Whoo-hoo! Ah!

- Ahem. - [feedback whines]

Uh... [sighs]

Come on, people!

I wanna hear you scream!

[both] Yeah!

[singer] Come on! Scream!

[Momo and Okarun] Yeah!

[singer] Are you ready to rock?

[Momo and Okarun] Yeah!

[singer] ♪ Are you ready to rock? ♪

[Momo and Okarun] Yeah!

[playing rock song]

♪ Exorcism song! ♪

[all yelp]

♪ Exorcism song! ♪

♪ Dark and corroded world in despair ♪

♪ Ravenous beasts are wandering ♪

♪ Lying in wait for me like a hex ♪

♪ Blackest of destinations... ♪

[high-pitched ringing]

[eerie wailing]

♪ Echoing through the frostbitten sky ♪

♪ Song of the grimmest lullaby ♪

♪ Pain that you suffered Plain from your scars ♪

- ♪ Hark, I can hear your requiem ♪ - [spirits roaring]

♪ Starting to crumble down ♪

♪ In a cacophony of screams ♪

♪ Spirit in lunacy ♪

♪ Coming apart at the seams ♪

♪ Hunting soul, insatiate and wild ♪

♪ Roaming the land for a blood sacrifice ♪

♪ Hunting soul, night after night ♪

♪ So go to sleep if you dare... ♪

You in the back, are you watching?

I see ya! So you're ready?

Let's rock!

Come on!

[grunting]

[singer] Let's go!

Turn it off!

- [grunts] - [Jiji yells]

♪ Pallid the wasteland Filling the air ♪

- ♪ Howls of a fallen angel... ♪ - [Evil Eye snarling]

Momo, stay back and use your power to hold Jiji down.

You got it, Grandma!

- [singer] ♪ Into oblivion ♪ - [gasps]

- ♪ Feeling it call unto thee... ♪ - [Jiji groaning]

- Don't get rid of him! - ♪ Now uncontrollable ♪

♪ Feral is your jealousy ♪

[Momo] What the...

[Jiji] Don't kill the Evil Eye!

[singer] Are you ready?

Here we go!

[Jiji] He wants to play with someone. That's all.

And I made him a promise I'd play with him.

They had him locked up in a cell.

Every day, he watched these kids playing,

and every day he dreamed he could play with them.

He even practiced their dance.

And now that he's almost free, you wanna kill him again?

[whimpering]

- I never heard of anything so sad! - ♪ Hunting soul... ♪

I swear, I won't get anywhere near cold water again!

- ♪ Hunting soul, night after night... ♪ - Don't kill him.

Please don't kill the Evil Eye!

♪ Hunting soul, fire aglow ♪

♪ Scorching the earth As it crosses the skies... ♪

- [Jiji wheezes] Please. - ♪ Hunting soul, losing control ♪

♪ Chasing you down to the end... ♪

[Jiji] I'm begging you!

[cheering]

[crackling]

[groaning]

♪ Hunting soul! ♪

[song ends]

[Jiji groaning]

[coughing]

[gasps]

Uh, I... uh...

[feedback rings]

[Seiko] This exorcism's over.

- [Okarun] Huh? - [Seiko] I'm callin' it off.

The Evil Eye's welcome to stay with us now.

- Huh? - Huh?

Huh? What? Are you serious?

[grunts] Huh?

[Seiko] Sorry I called you guys out here for nothin'.

Thanks for comin'.

- [feedback rings] - Uh, you don't have to apologize.

We totally get it.

[Momo and Okarun] Uh...

- Are you sure about this? - [Seiko] You heard Jiji.

That's how it's gotta be.

The kid's got heart.

It's the best thing about him, in my opinion.

Huh?

[Aira] Okay, whoa.

So does this mean we're supposed to keep an eye on him forever now?

- 'Cause I am so not doing that. - [sighs]

He doesn't care about the rest of us.

And I'm not wasting any more of my precious time on him.

[Momo sighs]

[snorts]

Okay then, I'll get stronger.

- So I can handle the Evil Eye. - [gasps]

I'll just train real hard, until I get tough enough to take it on.

That way, it won't matter if Jiji can't control it.

[Aira] Uh... are you crazy?

Why would you put yourself out on a limb for him?

You'd have to sleep with one eye open.

You'd put yourself in danger.

- [Okarun] He's my friend. - Huh?

[Momo sighs]

- [groans] - Then I'm gonna get stronger too.

As a pair, we kick ass.

- [Okarun whimpers] - No, you don't!

I'm gonna work out and get stronger too!

That way, I can beat your ass!

[Momo] Go ahead and try, fugly!

- [Momo and Aira arguing] - [wails] Okarun, I want a hug.

- [sobbing] - [Seiko] Hmm.

- [girls fighting] - [Seiko] Hmm?

You guys!

- [wails] - [Seiko] Hot water!

♪ Yo-o-o-o-o! ♪

We're hittin' the road!

If ya need us again, give us a call...

♪ Any time! ♪

HAYASHII TOSHIRO/VOCALS

Yep, we'll do that.

Pretty sure we'll be calling you again soon.

- [singer] Rock! - [others] On!

- Rock! - On!

- Rock! - On!

- Rock! - On!

[Momo and Seiko groan]

[Momo] House is gonna get awful cold now.

[Seiko] We'll patch it up. Go to the market, grab some boxes.

- [cicadas chirping] - [Seiko] Sit on your legs. Back straight.

Crunch your lower abs nice and tight.

Now, picture a laser beam comin' out the top of your head,

and more beams shootin' out your fingertips.

[Jiji] Um...

[yelps]

The idea's not to fall over.

You gotta sit like you're rooted to the ground.

[Jiji] I'll try.

[Momo] Like this, Jiji.

See? Now push me.

[Jiji] Are you sure?

Go on! Hard as you can.

[Jiji sighs] Okay.

[straining]

Whoo! It really works.

I can't move you at all!

Ya learned how to do it pretty good, even though ya hated practicing it.

[Momo] That's 'cause I never thought I'd ever use it.

[groaning]

Huh?

[gentle music playing]

Is this related to that weird pose you did in grade school?

You know it. It's how I can use my psychic powers.

[Seiko] That's how you can get your chi to flow.

When you're in that state, you can access your spiritual energy.

[Jiji] Oh.

Your spiritual energy is off the charts.

If you can figure out how to control it, you will have a valuable skill.

Ya might even be able to handle the Evil Eye all on your own.

[eerie music playing]

[grunts]

[sighs]

[wind whistling]

[shivering]

[snoring]

[door closes]

[grunts]

[sighs]

[shivering]

[yawns]

[floorboards creaking]

[grunts]

[toilet flushes]

Whoa. You startled me.

[Okarun, yawning] Only use hot water to wash your hands, okay?

[Jiji] Right. [sighs]

[water running]

I think it's hot enough now.

Thanks, bud.

[loud, rasping snoring]

[Okarun] Hm?

[Jiji] Thanks, Okarun.

[Okarun] No worries.

[wind whistling]

[grunts]

- Whoa. - Uh...

[Jiji] Uh-oh. The cardboard's coming apart.

You should probably keep your distance.

You don't want dew gettin' on you.

[wind howling]

[silence]

[Jiji] Sorry I'm causing so much trouble.

[Okarun] Don't apologize.

We're looking out for each other now.

When Turbo Granny possessed me,

I caused a whole bunch of trouble for Miss Ayase and her grandmother.

But they went out of their way to help me.

I wanted to repay them for living expenses and the clothes I ruined.

So I got a job delivering newspapers and tried to give them money.

But then...

[gentle music playing]

[Seiko] What's the point in payin' me back, moron?

Uh...

[sighs]

If you're feelin' grateful I took care of ya and wanna pay me back,

how about you pay it forward instead, and help someone else that's in a jam?

In the end, that's what lookin' out for each other's all about.

Oh! [gasps]

She's so rad!

[Okarun] I wish I was cool enough to say things like she does.

Mmm...

In my case, though, I don't think I'll ever be that cool.

But maybe if I act like her, some of her coolness might rub off on me.

[Jiji chuckles]

[birdsong]

[yawning loudly]

[snoring]

Ugh. I have to wake up to this disaster.

- Ugh. - [Momo sighs]

[cheerful music playing]

[all] Thanks for the food!

Do you want seconds, Takakura?

There's plenty of miso soup left too, so eat up!

- Oh, thank you. - [all munching]

Jiji. You gotta clench your lower abs. And keep your back straight.

- Project that chi, kid. - [Jiji] Yes, ma'am.

- [Momo] More, please. - Hmph.

- Huh. - [Momo whining]

Go on and serve yourself.

[Momo] Why the hell are you bendin' over backwards for Okarun?

[Aira] Just being helpful, pig.

[Momo] Call me that again and you're dead, fugly.

- [Aira] Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig! - [Momo] Fugly! Fugly! Fugly! Fugly! Fugly!

[birdsong]

[Jiji] Have fun at school, you guys!

- [Aira] You have everything, Takakura? - I said have fun!

- [Aira] Remember to do your homework? - [Okarun] Yes.

- You guys? I hope you have an awesome day! - [groans] My stomach hurts.

- Probably 'cause the house is so cold. - Do your best!

- You slept with your stomach hanging out. - And you didn't cover it? [whimpers]

- I barely got to sleep. - [Jiji yelling]

All night, she flopped around like a fish next to me.

Shut your hole!

- She used my toner without even asking! - 'Cause you said I could!

- Hey, Aira grinds her teeth in her sleep! - [Aira] Don't you slander me!

You big fat lying pig liar!

- [chuckles] - [Jiji continues yelling]

[Momo whimpering]

That's it! I'm getting a job!

- What's gotten into you? - I'm gonna fix my house!

- Boss girl! - Get a phone.

That ain't a priority.

[groans]

I need a warm house more than I need a phone.

Come on, your house can't be that cold.

It ain't just cold, it's freezing!

Yo, I heard Ririna says her job's looking for part-timers.

[Momo] Hmm?

[Miko] Oh yeah. She works at a restaurant.

For real? You tell her I'd be down to work there!

But you never stick with part-time jobs, girl.

You always end up fighting with the boss.

That's 'cause I speak truth to power, girl.

[Muko] You badass!

No one's gonna recommend you for a job if they think you'll quit the next day.

I won't! I've done a lot of growin' up lately.

And if I get a job, I won't quit that easy!

Did you hear her, Miss Muko?

Yeah, Miss Mi, I heard her!

[PA chiming]

- [Muko] Okarun! - Oh!

- [dramatic music plays] - [both giggling]

[Miko] Momo starts a new job today, so don't wait for her.

Oh? Uh, I didn't know. All right, then.

[both] Whoo!

- [Miko] So... - [Muko] Like...

What the...

- [whimpering] - [Muko] You're hanging out with us!

[Okarun] No! I refuse!

- [Miko] Let go, ya bastard! - [Muko] Stop being such a hater!

- [Okarun wailing] - [jaunty music playing]

- [Okarun struggling] Let go! - [girls giggling]

- [Okarun] I'm not a dater! I don't date! - [Miko] We're just goin' to get tea!

- [Okarun] Getting tea sounds like a date! - [music stops]

If Momo took Jiji out for tea, would that be a date?

It would not.

- And it's no different with us! - [music resumes]

- Move it! Move your ass! - [Okarun whimpering]

- [Miko] Go! - [Okarun] No!

- [music stops] - [train horn blasts]

[Okarun sighs]

Oh!

[Miko laughs]

- [gasps] - [girls] Mm-mm!

[both giggle]

KAMIGOE STREET

- [music resumes] - [yelling]

I don't wanna be here!

[Muko] Here it is! That one!

I refuse to order or drink any tea!

- [Miko] You'll get thirsty. - [Okarun] I will not!

Okay, then! Have it your way! Don't drink!

I swear I won't!

[music stops]

- [elevator dings] - [girl] Welcome home, Master!

[cheerful music playing]

Huh?

[giggles]

How many in your party today?

[Miko and Muko] Three of us.

- [both giggling] - [Okarun gasps]

[Miko] Yo, maid! This customer needs some service.

Wha... Okarun!

[gasps] Miss Ayase?

[whimpering]

- Oh! - [Miko and Muko giggling]

- [yelps] - [Miko] Go on!

- [both laughing] - [Okarun wails]

[Muko] She's waiting!

[groans]

[giggles]

Welcome home, Master!

MAID CAFÉ & BAR CUTIE CHI CANNON

DAN DA DAN

[song in Japanese playing]

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH NAMES OF PEOPLE

(INCLUDING THE ACTOR KEN TAKAKURA) AND ORGANIZATIONS.

[Turbo Granny] Ya barely gave me any food! Gimme more, damn you!

[Seiko] Food costs money, dumbass!

[Turbo Granny] If I can't get a decent meal, I'm leavin'!

[Seiko] Oh! Buh-bye!

[Turbo Granny] Cool! And I ain't never comin' back, neither.

Next time, "Feeling Kinda Gloomy."