Original subtitles

Yes, it's one of the king's carrier pigeons.

No, it isn't. That pigeon couldn't carry the king.

It hasn't got a tray or anything.

Lieutenant, revolver, please.

Oh, now, sir, you really shouldn't do this, you know. Come on, George, with 50

,000 men getting killed a week, who's going to miss a pigeon?

Well, not you, obviously, sir.

In any case, it scares me, a court martial offence.

Get plucking, Borick.

All right, sir. Look, it's got a little ring round its leg. There's a novelty.

Oh, really? Is there a paper hat as well?

No, but there's a joke.

Read it out, sir.

Well, it's a bit charred. It's something at once.

P .S. Due to communication crisis, the shooting of carrier pigeons is now a

court -martial offence.

Let's see what's funny about that, sir.

It's not funny. It's deadly serious. We're in trouble.

So I shall eat the evidence for lunch.

And if anyone asks you any questions at all, we didn't receive any messages, and

we definitely did not shoot this delicious, plump -breasted pigeon.

Mmm.

Delicious. Hey!

Back it up! Catch it!

And why, Captain, are you not advancing across New Man's Land?

Well, sir, called me a bluff old traditionalist, but I was always taught

for the order to attack before attacking.

Are you trying to tell me you haven't received any orders?

What the hell are you playing at, darling?

That's a blatant lie, sir. I spoke to Blackadder less than an hour ago. Yes,

did, to tell me some gobbledygook about having a lion up your bottom.

As I thought, it's the old communications problem again. Stand

Action on this is imperative. Take that down, darling.

Also, make a note of the word gobbledygook.

I like it. I want to use it more often in conversation.

I must say, sir, I find this all very unlikely.

Not only did I telephone Blackadder, but as you'll recall, we sent him a

telegram and a carrier pigeon.

Did you?

Are you telling us you haven't had a pigeon, Blackadder?

Come on, man, you must have done. I sent our top bird, Speckled Jim, my own true

love, who's been with me since I was a nipper.

To business.

I'm giving you your order to advance now.

Synchronise watches, gentlemen.

Private, what is the time?

We didn't receive any messages, and Captain Blackadder definitely did not

this delicious plump -breasted pigeon.

Do you want to be cremated, Morick, or buried at sea?