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1
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- Hi, I'm Rekha,
2
00:00:01,229 --> 00:00:03,367
and I'm feeling extremely confident
3
00:00:03,368 --> 00:00:05,679
that I'm gonna play a dramatic role today.
4
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,517
(upbeat music)
5
00:00:07,518 --> 00:00:08,757
- [Vic] Today we're giving this comedian
6
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,787
a total transformation.
7
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(Rekha laughs)
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They have no idea who or
what they're about to become.
9
00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:16,745
- I'm a freaking turtle.
10
00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:17,578
I know it.
11
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Everything about this screams turtle.
12
00:00:19,446 --> 00:00:21,375
- [Vic] Once they see
themselves in the mirror,
13
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:23,935
they'll have to make up
a character on the spot
14
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:27,117
and then sit down with me
for an improvised interview.
15
00:00:27,118 --> 00:00:30,158
This is "Very Important People."
16
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(upbeat music fades )
17
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- Each and everything you're putting on me
18
00:00:34,963 --> 00:00:37,714
makes me believe less that I'm a turtle,
19
00:00:37,715 --> 00:00:40,333
but I have to stick to my original idea.
20
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:41,641
(Rekha laughs)
21
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,303
Now,
22
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,322
this could be a turtle still.
23
00:00:45,323 --> 00:00:46,155
- [Producer] Open.
24
00:00:46,156 --> 00:00:47,093
(upbeat music)
25
00:00:47,094 --> 00:00:47,926
(Rekha laughs)
26
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- Oh, disgusting.
27
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So, I thought I was a turtle.
28
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And it's pretty clear
29
00:00:53,384 --> 00:00:56,034
that you guys went in a
different direction with that.
30
00:00:56,035 --> 00:00:58,082
So, everyone has to forget
31
00:00:58,083 --> 00:01:00,162
all the turtle stuff I said earlier.
32
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And this is who I am now.
33
00:01:01,803 --> 00:01:04,213
Interesting about the feet being bread.
34
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That's not something you see every day.
35
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I was right.
36
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This is a dramatic role for
me 'cause I'm a vegetarian.
37
00:01:08,883 --> 00:01:11,520
I'm really experiencing POV hotdog.
38
00:01:11,521 --> 00:01:14,641
How scary it would be to be eaten.
39
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,949
People talk about how they
don't know what hotdogs are
40
00:01:17,950 --> 00:01:20,023
or like where they come from.
41
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I think they come from me.
42
00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:22,631
(producer laughing)
43
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I put the hot in hotdog, bitch.
44
00:01:24,641 --> 00:01:27,224
(upbeat music)
45
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- Roar.
46
00:01:42,975 --> 00:01:44,856
(door closes)
47
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We all have a story to tell.
48
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And sometimes those stories
49
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need to be shared with the world.
50
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Good evening.
51
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I'm Vic Michaelis,
52
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back with another edition of
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"Very Important People."
54
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Please introduce yourself.
55
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- I am the Mother Hotdog.
56
00:02:00,475 --> 00:02:03,225
(dramatic music)
57
00:02:03,737 --> 00:02:05,895
- Thank you for being here.
58
00:02:05,896 --> 00:02:06,935
We know how busy you are.
59
00:02:06,936 --> 00:02:08,293
And you are a hero.
60
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,393
- I don't consider it being a hero
61
00:02:10,394 --> 00:02:12,743
to be bred for your dinner.
62
00:02:12,744 --> 00:02:13,743
(Vic laughs)
63
00:02:13,744 --> 00:02:14,805
- Like a pun.
64
00:02:14,806 --> 00:02:16,677
- I'm gonna kill myself.
65
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:17,510
- I'm sorry.
66
00:02:17,511 --> 00:02:18,343
Hey, how about this?
67
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Why don't we,
68
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I'm sorry I touched your bun.
69
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:22,146
Mother Hotdog, thank you
for being here today.
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00:02:22,147 --> 00:02:22,979
We so appreciate.
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00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:24,306
We know you are a very busy
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00:02:24,307 --> 00:02:26,135
and important pillar of our community.
73
00:02:26,136 --> 00:02:28,295
- I'm here to tell my story.
74
00:02:28,296 --> 00:02:29,845
- If you don't mind me saying,
you seem a little depressed.
75
00:02:29,846 --> 00:02:31,957
- I guess anybody would be depressed
76
00:02:31,958 --> 00:02:34,826
if little parts of their
body got taken out of them
77
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and given to people for dinner.
78
00:02:36,486 --> 00:02:37,445
- I know a lot of us know the story,
79
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that you're sort of the
origin of all hotdogs.
80
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And I didn't realize,
(Mother Hotdog farts)
81
00:02:41,168 --> 00:02:42,477
Did you fart?
82
00:02:42,478 --> 00:02:43,594
Did you pass wind?
83
00:02:43,595 --> 00:02:46,367
- We have to be cool.
84
00:02:46,368 --> 00:02:47,200
- I have to be cool.
85
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,917
- So, crazy that I'm, literally,
the origin of all hotdogs
86
00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:53,074
and you're gonna talk
about me doing that fart.
87
00:02:53,075 --> 00:02:53,907
- It was just for sound.
88
00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:55,317
I was wondering if we
wanted to cut that part.
89
00:02:55,318 --> 00:02:56,316
- You wanna cut that part?
90
00:02:56,317 --> 00:02:57,206
- I don't necessarily want,
91
00:02:57,207 --> 00:02:58,039
- You want me
92
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:58,872
to cut the part?
- I think it's very natural.
93
00:02:58,873 --> 00:03:00,354
I think a lot of people pass wind.
94
00:03:00,355 --> 00:03:03,637
- Why are we still talking about it?
95
00:03:03,638 --> 00:03:04,470
- Mother Hotdog.
- It's like
96
00:03:04,471 --> 00:03:05,303
you can't get over it.
97
00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:06,207
- Origin of all hotdogs.
98
00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:07,040
- Yes.
99
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:07,986
- Dinner for so many people.
100
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,615
- I'm working around the clock.
101
00:03:09,616 --> 00:03:10,973
4th of July is my hell.
102
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- Santa is to Christmas,
103
00:03:12,006 --> 00:03:13,314
you are to 4th of July.
104
00:03:13,315 --> 00:03:14,313
- [Rekha] Yeah, and guess what?
105
00:03:14,314 --> 00:03:16,123
That jerk only works one day a year.
106
00:03:16,124 --> 00:03:18,374
- You have beef with Santa.
107
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- I'm gonna kill myself
108
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:21,953
in three seconds.
(Vic laughs)
109
00:03:21,954 --> 00:03:22,795
- [Vic] No, I'm sorry.
110
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- Three.
- [Vic] No.
111
00:03:23,629 --> 00:03:24,461
Hey, hey.
112
00:03:24,462 --> 00:03:25,294
You know what?
- Two.
113
00:03:25,295 --> 00:03:26,127
- And let's start over.
114
00:03:26,128 --> 00:03:26,960
We're gonna take it back.
115
00:03:26,961 --> 00:03:27,793
And I do apologize.
116
00:03:27,794 --> 00:03:29,151
I thought maybe adding
a little bit of levity
117
00:03:29,152 --> 00:03:29,991
to the situation would help.
118
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,722
But I'm seeing that it's not a joke.
119
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- Thank you.
120
00:03:32,556 --> 00:03:33,730
- It's something that I'm
personally working on,
121
00:03:33,731 --> 00:03:34,563
making sure that,
122
00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:37,271
you know, we're taking
serious things seriously.
123
00:03:37,272 --> 00:03:39,111
And we're seeing and we're
hearing and we're listening.
124
00:03:39,112 --> 00:03:39,944
- Okay.
125
00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:41,130
And are you succeeding at all?
126
00:03:41,131 --> 00:03:41,963
- I think so.
127
00:03:41,964 --> 00:03:43,631
As you can see, we have
an on-set therapist here.
128
00:03:43,632 --> 00:03:44,631
And so, if you need anything,
129
00:03:44,632 --> 00:03:46,741
you can also ask him any
questions about yourself.
130
00:03:46,742 --> 00:03:50,962
- I am Catholic and I
don't believe in therapy.
131
00:03:50,963 --> 00:03:52,242
I will not be seeing you.
132
00:03:52,243 --> 00:03:53,075
- You're Catholic?
133
00:03:53,076 --> 00:03:53,908
- Yeah.
134
00:03:53,909 --> 00:03:55,202
- Is that because they
don't do meat on Fridays?
135
00:03:55,203 --> 00:03:56,141
- They don't?
136
00:03:56,142 --> 00:03:58,571
- They're also really big
on you can't kill yourself.
137
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,061
- I have renounced Catholicism.
138
00:04:01,062 --> 00:04:03,169
Any religion that prevents me
139
00:04:03,170 --> 00:04:06,682
from doing what I want
with my horrible life
140
00:04:06,683 --> 00:04:08,282
is not the religion for me.
141
00:04:08,283 --> 00:04:09,630
- I'm seeing that we're stressed.
142
00:04:09,631 --> 00:04:11,966
- [Mother Hotdog] Yeah.
- We got a lot on our plate.
143
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- Three.
144
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:13,632
(Vic laughs)
145
00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:14,523
- No, and I'm sorry.
- Two.
146
00:04:14,524 --> 00:04:15,356
- Woo-woo-woo.
147
00:04:15,357 --> 00:04:16,189
Rewind.
148
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,022
I wanna know about you.
149
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,130
I wanna know about where you come from.
150
00:04:18,131 --> 00:04:20,850
- I am from a slaughterhouse
151
00:04:20,851 --> 00:04:23,741
in Atlanta, Georgia.
152
00:04:23,742 --> 00:04:26,567
- Do you remember being a pig and or cow?
153
00:04:26,568 --> 00:04:29,101
Or is that sort of like an amalgamation?
154
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- I am a hotdog.
155
00:04:30,192 --> 00:04:31,024
- A hotdog.
156
00:04:31,025 --> 00:04:31,857
- [Mother Hotdog] I always hear the joke.
157
00:04:31,858 --> 00:04:33,162
People go, what's a hotdog made of?
158
00:04:33,163 --> 00:04:35,261
Hotdogs made of all the
crap that's left over.
159
00:04:35,262 --> 00:04:36,094
- Sure.
160
00:04:36,095 --> 00:04:37,111
- Newsflash.
161
00:04:37,112 --> 00:04:39,061
Put that underneath.
162
00:04:39,062 --> 00:04:40,211
Breaking news.
163
00:04:40,212 --> 00:04:42,591
- Oh, we don't really have
a VFX budget this season.
164
00:04:42,592 --> 00:04:44,130
- Breaking news.
(urgent music)
165
00:04:44,131 --> 00:04:46,642
(Mother Hotdog imitates type writer)
166
00:04:46,643 --> 00:04:48,962
Hotdogs are their own thing.
167
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It is not made of other things.
168
00:04:50,781 --> 00:04:51,630
- Well, hotdogs are made of you.
169
00:04:51,631 --> 00:04:52,463
- Exactly.
170
00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:53,738
- Can I ask a personal question?
171
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If you kill yourself, what happens?
172
00:04:55,203 --> 00:04:56,035
- Are you in?
173
00:04:56,036 --> 00:04:56,868
- What do you mean am I in?
174
00:04:56,869 --> 00:04:57,701
- You gonna help?
175
00:04:57,702 --> 00:04:58,534
- [Vic] No, I'm not gonna help.
176
00:04:58,535 --> 00:04:59,367
I'm just curious.
177
00:04:59,368 --> 00:05:00,231
You know, Santa, when he dies,
178
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Tim Allen takes over.
179
00:05:01,281 --> 00:05:02,602
And so I'm sort of wondering
180
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,133
what happens in your situation.
181
00:05:04,134 --> 00:05:05,773
- When I die,
182
00:05:05,774 --> 00:05:07,602
nobody picks up the mantle.
183
00:05:07,603 --> 00:05:09,994
4th of July you're starving.
184
00:05:09,995 --> 00:05:10,827
- A hamburger.
185
00:05:10,828 --> 00:05:11,660
- Flat hotdog?
186
00:05:11,661 --> 00:05:12,493
No thanks.
187
00:05:12,494 --> 00:05:13,326
- [Vic] Okay.
188
00:05:13,327 --> 00:05:14,159
- They're disgusting.
189
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:14,992
Don't eat them.
190
00:05:14,993 --> 00:05:15,875
Breaking news.
- There's no breaking news
191
00:05:15,876 --> 00:05:17,191
and there's no sound effects there.
192
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,192
Actually.
- More at 10.
193
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,032
Hamburgers are their own thing.
194
00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:21,865
- We're on exclusively
195
00:05:21,866 --> 00:05:23,428
at 3:30AM.
- And they're disgusting!
196
00:05:23,429 --> 00:05:25,301
- [Vic] After you've
watched "Game Changer".
197
00:05:25,302 --> 00:05:26,134
Slaughterhouse.
198
00:05:26,135 --> 00:05:26,967
- Yes.
199
00:05:26,968 --> 00:05:28,691
- You, sort of, game consciousness.
200
00:05:28,692 --> 00:05:31,478
- I woke up, I said, (gasps)
201
00:05:31,479 --> 00:05:33,040
And there was no doctor to slap me.
202
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,040
You probably got slapped.
203
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,440
- You think I got slapped as a baby?
204
00:05:35,441 --> 00:05:36,273
- Yeah.
205
00:05:36,274 --> 00:05:37,221
- I don't remember sort
of gaining consciousness.
206
00:05:37,222 --> 00:05:39,101
My first memory is when
I was four years old
207
00:05:39,102 --> 00:05:41,149
and my twin sister and I went to Delia's.
208
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,200
Do you know Delia's?
209
00:05:42,201 --> 00:05:45,909
- I mean, maybe if the clerk
has a blood sugar problem
210
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,981
and they're eating one of
my kids during their lunch.
211
00:05:47,982 --> 00:05:49,341
- Okay, so hotdogs that come off of you,
212
00:05:49,342 --> 00:05:51,091
you refer to as children.
213
00:05:51,092 --> 00:05:52,840
- I'm the Mother Hotdog,
214
00:05:52,841 --> 00:05:54,899
so they're my children.
215
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,848
- You're sort of a hotdog
Christ-like figure.
216
00:05:56,849 --> 00:05:58,928
Giving your only children to be eaten.
217
00:05:58,929 --> 00:06:00,869
- I am back on Catholicism.
218
00:06:00,870 --> 00:06:01,702
- Right.
219
00:06:01,703 --> 00:06:04,953
- I have converted back to Catholicism.
220
00:06:04,954 --> 00:06:08,259
- At what point do you
sort of gain consciousness
221
00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:09,857
and realize, oh my gosh, my,
222
00:06:09,858 --> 00:06:12,136
my children are leaving my body.
223
00:06:12,137 --> 00:06:14,536
I have some sort of affinity towards them.
224
00:06:14,537 --> 00:06:17,216
- You know, sometimes when
you go to the bathroom?
225
00:06:17,217 --> 00:06:18,049
- Sure.
226
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,347
- You kind of feel like
a weight has lifted,
227
00:06:19,348 --> 00:06:23,056
but it's not like you've
actually lost something.
228
00:06:23,057 --> 00:06:23,889
You know?
229
00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:24,722
- You just spend a lot of time being like,
230
00:06:24,723 --> 00:06:25,555
those are my children.
231
00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:29,355
And now you're describing
your children's as...
232
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,406
pieces of...
233
00:06:30,464 --> 00:06:32,345
shit?
234
00:06:32,346 --> 00:06:34,987
- Is that not what human children are?
235
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:37,514
- I, you know,
236
00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:39,052
I think there's a lot of,
237
00:06:39,053 --> 00:06:40,648
So, I'm hearing a lot about what you are.
238
00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:42,786
And I wanna know more about who you are.
239
00:06:42,787 --> 00:06:43,696
Who is Mother Hotdog?
240
00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:45,437
What does Mother Hotdog want?
241
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,616
- You're gonna think it's stupid.
242
00:06:47,617 --> 00:06:48,449
- I'm not.
243
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,282
- Yeah, you are.
244
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,115
- No, I'm not.
245
00:06:50,116 --> 00:06:50,948
You don't know me.
246
00:06:50,949 --> 00:06:51,781
- Um,
247
00:06:51,782 --> 00:06:53,776
I wanna walk New York Fashion Week.
248
00:06:53,777 --> 00:06:54,609
- New York Fashion Week.
249
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:55,442
Okay.
250
00:06:55,443 --> 00:06:56,275
Hey.
251
00:06:56,276 --> 00:06:57,108
You know what?
252
00:06:57,109 --> 00:06:57,941
We are gonna get you out there.
253
00:06:57,942 --> 00:06:58,774
We are gonna get you all ready
254
00:06:58,775 --> 00:06:59,957
and we're gonna get you in
front of the right people.
255
00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:00,790
- No.
256
00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:01,623
What?
257
00:07:01,624 --> 00:07:02,456
- [Vic] Mother Hotdog?
- Heidi?
258
00:07:02,457 --> 00:07:03,289
- No, she's not here right now.
259
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,122
I'm just saying let's,
- Heidi?
260
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:04,955
- [Vic] How about this?
261
00:07:04,956 --> 00:07:07,267
How about we get a PA to fly in some wine.
262
00:07:07,268 --> 00:07:08,100
- Oh!
263
00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:08,933
- [Vic] We're gonna,
264
00:07:08,934 --> 00:07:09,766
we're gonna loosen up here.
265
00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:10,599
We're gonna have a little bit of
266
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,765
fun on set.
- Hello.
267
00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:12,837
- And thank you.
268
00:07:12,838 --> 00:07:14,485
- [Mother Hotdog] Thank you.
- And thank you so much.
269
00:07:14,486 --> 00:07:15,318
(Mother Hotdog gasps)
270
00:07:15,319 --> 00:07:16,151
Wow.
271
00:07:16,152 --> 00:07:16,984
Okay.
272
00:07:16,985 --> 00:07:17,817
Ooh.
- Wow.
273
00:07:17,818 --> 00:07:18,650
Okay.
274
00:07:18,651 --> 00:07:19,483
- So, hey, oh.
275
00:07:19,484 --> 00:07:20,335
- [Mother Hotdog] You
276
00:07:20,336 --> 00:07:21,168
get a taste.
277
00:07:21,169 --> 00:07:22,429
- Okay. (nervous chuckle)
278
00:07:22,587 --> 00:07:25,697
Is it gonna hurt you if I bite this?
279
00:07:25,698 --> 00:07:26,676
Do you feel?
- Don't worry about it.
280
00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:27,509
Don't worry about it.
281
00:07:27,510 --> 00:07:28,567
Don't worry about it.
282
00:07:28,568 --> 00:07:29,847
(Vic bites)
283
00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:30,898
Fuck.
284
00:07:30,899 --> 00:07:32,674
- Are you okay?
285
00:07:32,675 --> 00:07:33,507
I spit it out.
286
00:07:33,508 --> 00:07:34,340
- Fuck.
287
00:07:34,341 --> 00:07:35,173
- [Vic] Okay.
288
00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:36,006
And so, this is,
289
00:07:36,007 --> 00:07:37,567
And we're, sort of, tossing that.
290
00:07:37,568 --> 00:07:38,400
Hey, it's okay.
291
00:07:38,401 --> 00:07:39,233
- What?
292
00:07:39,234 --> 00:07:40,066
Was it good?
293
00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:40,899
- Honestly, it was really delicious.
294
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:41,732
- You want another one?
295
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:42,676
- Let's do a little bit of
drinking and then we'll see,
296
00:07:42,677 --> 00:07:44,358
we'll see where the afternoon takes us.
297
00:07:44,359 --> 00:07:45,191
- You have a pal now,
298
00:07:45,192 --> 00:07:46,316
so you can get 'em whenever you want.
299
00:07:46,317 --> 00:07:47,436
- I don't take that lightly.
300
00:07:47,437 --> 00:07:48,269
I want you to know that.
301
00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:49,102
- Tit for tat.
302
00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:49,935
Friendship.
303
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,055
- Okay, maybe we can get tattoos later.
304
00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:51,888
- Yeah.
305
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,226
- I thought maybe we could
play a little drinking game.
306
00:07:53,227 --> 00:07:54,345
- I've never played one.
307
00:07:54,346 --> 00:07:55,406
- Oh, what about "Never Have I Ever"?
308
00:07:55,407 --> 00:07:57,139
Have you played that?
309
00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:57,972
- Never.
310
00:07:57,973 --> 00:07:59,758
(melodic music)
311
00:07:59,759 --> 00:08:01,337
- I have played, so I take a drink.
312
00:08:01,338 --> 00:08:02,170
- Okay.
313
00:08:02,171 --> 00:08:03,003
And then I do one.
314
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:05,089
So, I'll go like, never have
I ever been to a sleepover.
315
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:05,922
- Um,
316
00:08:05,923 --> 00:08:07,500
some of my kids,
317
00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:08,700
I squeezed them out
318
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:09,780
and they went to a sleepover
319
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,289
at this 10 year old's birthday party.
320
00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:13,606
- [Vic] Oh.
- It was car themed.
321
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:14,449
- Oh, that's fun.
322
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,282
- Does that count?
323
00:08:15,283 --> 00:08:16,209
- Did they sleepover?
324
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:17,042
- They got eaten.
325
00:08:17,043 --> 00:08:17,875
- Right.
326
00:08:17,876 --> 00:08:19,460
- But they lasted till 10:00PM.
327
00:08:19,461 --> 00:08:20,748
- Yeah, okay, we'll say that counts.
328
00:08:20,749 --> 00:08:23,771
You can take a drink.
- Oh.
329
00:08:23,772 --> 00:08:25,220
(Mother Hotdog slurps)
330
00:08:25,221 --> 00:08:26,413
- Okay.
(Mother Hotdog cheers)
331
00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:27,246
(Vic cheers)
332
00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:28,222
Okay, now it's your turn.
333
00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:29,055
Now you do one.
334
00:08:29,056 --> 00:08:33,389
- Never have I ever been a
stupid, bitchy hamburger.
335
00:08:34,423 --> 00:08:35,873
(both laugh)
336
00:08:35,874 --> 00:08:36,742
- I've never done that either.
337
00:08:36,743 --> 00:08:37,951
So, cheers to that.
338
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:38,784
Okay.
339
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,454
- So, you drink when you
do it and you don't do it.
340
00:08:40,455 --> 00:08:41,287
- Yeah.
341
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,243
So, we, sort of, drink on both of 'em.
342
00:08:42,244 --> 00:08:43,342
(Mother Hotdog slurps)
343
00:08:43,343 --> 00:08:44,713
- Ah. (laughs)
344
00:08:44,714 --> 00:08:48,221
(Mother Hotdog slurps)
345
00:08:48,222 --> 00:08:49,095
You got it? Okay.
346
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,720
(Mother Hotdog cheers)
(Vic cheers)
347
00:08:50,721 --> 00:08:51,553
Okay.
348
00:08:51,554 --> 00:08:54,243
Never have I ever played a
drinking game with my friend.
349
00:08:54,244 --> 00:08:55,076
- Guess what?
350
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:55,909
- What?
351
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,742
- Finger down.
352
00:08:56,743 --> 00:08:57,575
- Finger down.
353
00:08:57,576 --> 00:08:58,408
And cheers to that.
354
00:08:58,409 --> 00:08:59,241
- [Mother Hotdog] Cheers to that.
355
00:08:59,242 --> 00:09:00,074
- We're doing it now.
356
00:09:00,075 --> 00:09:01,652
(Mother Hotdog cheers)
357
00:09:01,653 --> 00:09:02,952
- Yeah.
358
00:09:02,953 --> 00:09:04,295
- We're gonna go ahead and fly in your bag
359
00:09:04,296 --> 00:09:05,128
for a segment we like to call,
360
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:05,961
What's in my bag?
361
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,713
(melodic music)
362
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,734
- Oh, you weren't supposed to find that.
363
00:09:09,735 --> 00:09:10,933
It looks like shit.
364
00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:12,083
- Well, let's just sort
of go through this.
365
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:12,916
Look.
366
00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:13,749
This isn't bad.
367
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:14,582
What is this?
368
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:15,415
- That's my wallet.
369
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:16,248
It's empty.
370
00:09:16,249 --> 00:09:17,081
- What do you mean?
371
00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:17,923
There's so many credit cards in here.
372
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,391
- They're all maxed out.
373
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,422
- Mother Hotdog.
374
00:09:20,423 --> 00:09:21,403
All of these are maxed out?
375
00:09:21,404 --> 00:09:23,883
Is nobody paying you for your
children that they're eating?
376
00:09:23,884 --> 00:09:24,753
- I don't get any money.
377
00:09:24,754 --> 00:09:25,941
There's no union.
378
00:09:25,942 --> 00:09:26,774
- Are you in a relationship?
379
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:27,607
Can I ask?
380
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:28,440
- Never.
381
00:09:28,441 --> 00:09:30,106
- That's okay. I'm divorced.
382
00:09:30,107 --> 00:09:31,003
- Nobody loves me.
383
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,421
They only use me.
384
00:09:33,341 --> 00:09:34,403
Honestly,
385
00:09:34,404 --> 00:09:35,702
I should just die.
386
00:09:35,703 --> 00:09:36,535
- Don't say that.
387
00:09:36,536 --> 00:09:37,368
Don't say that.
- [Mother Hotdog] Yeah.
388
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,712
- Look, you have so
much fun stuff in here.
389
00:09:38,713 --> 00:09:39,545
What are these?
390
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,378
- Three.
391
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:41,211
- Diapers?
392
00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:42,044
- Two.
393
00:09:42,045 --> 00:09:42,877
- [Vic] You have diapers?
394
00:09:42,878 --> 00:09:43,710
Oh, adult.
- Are you judging me?
395
00:09:43,711 --> 00:09:44,758
- I'm not judging you.
396
00:09:44,759 --> 00:09:46,238
Why do you have adult sized diapers?
397
00:09:46,239 --> 00:09:48,488
- Sometimes they can't
control when my kids come out.
398
00:09:48,489 --> 00:09:49,321
- [Vic] Oh.
399
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,038
- And I don't want them
to fall on the floor,
400
00:09:51,039 --> 00:09:52,227
'cause they'll start crying
401
00:09:52,228 --> 00:09:54,619
and then everybody in CVS looks at me.
402
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:55,452
- Yeah.
403
00:09:55,453 --> 00:09:57,598
- And so, I had to scoop
'em all in the diapers
404
00:09:57,599 --> 00:09:59,539
and I keep 'em near my butt
405
00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:01,918
until I can leave and go
to my car and take 'em out.
406
00:10:01,919 --> 00:10:02,979
- Your kids come outta your butt.
407
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:03,812
- Uh-huh.
408
00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:04,645
- Okay.
409
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,027
Let's go ahead and let's
maybe take a look at these.
410
00:10:06,028 --> 00:10:06,860
Oh, okay.
411
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:07,693
Hey.
412
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:08,526
(box rattles)
413
00:10:08,527 --> 00:10:09,359
Fun.
414
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,192
What are these?
415
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,238
- I have postpartum
depression every single day.
416
00:10:12,239 --> 00:10:13,745
400 times a day.
417
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,237
This is a PSA.
418
00:10:15,238 --> 00:10:16,505
Breaking news.
(dramatic music)
419
00:10:16,506 --> 00:10:17,338
- We can't do that.
420
00:10:17,339 --> 00:10:19,660
- Postpartum depression
421
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:20,775
is real.
422
00:10:20,776 --> 00:10:22,247
- [Vic] Yeah.
- And I,
423
00:10:22,248 --> 00:10:23,367
Double breaking news.
(dramatic music)
424
00:10:23,368 --> 00:10:24,200
- [Vic] We can't do that.
- At 11,
425
00:10:24,201 --> 00:10:25,033
- so there's no,
426
00:10:25,034 --> 00:10:25,866
it's not
- I have
427
00:10:25,867 --> 00:10:26,916
- [Vic] There's no scroll.
- postpartum depression.
428
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:27,974
- [Vic] We're gonna move on.
429
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:28,848
Hey, look at this.
430
00:10:28,849 --> 00:10:31,207
We got a passport and some lip gloss.
431
00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:33,676
- It's a shade I would never normally do,
432
00:10:33,677 --> 00:10:35,847
but I bought it to be experimental.
433
00:10:35,848 --> 00:10:36,680
- I love that.
434
00:10:36,681 --> 00:10:39,298
- I practiced my model walk in the mirror.
435
00:10:39,299 --> 00:10:40,131
- Can I see it?
436
00:10:40,132 --> 00:10:41,276
- You wanna see my model walk?
437
00:10:41,277 --> 00:10:42,588
- I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
438
00:10:42,589 --> 00:10:43,421
- Okay.
439
00:10:43,422 --> 00:10:44,495
- Show me yours.
- [Vic] Okay.
440
00:10:44,496 --> 00:10:45,570
Okay, ready?
- [Mother Hotdog] Yeah.
441
00:10:45,571 --> 00:10:47,613
Uh-Oh.
(Mother Hotdog claps)
442
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,446
- Okay, here we go.
443
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:49,420
Ready? Here we go.
444
00:10:49,421 --> 00:10:50,478
Here's my model walk.
445
00:10:50,479 --> 00:10:53,696
(runway music)
446
00:10:57,674 --> 00:11:00,182
- That was really ghoulish.
447
00:11:00,183 --> 00:11:01,015
- [Vic] Do you mean that?
- That was good.
448
00:11:01,016 --> 00:11:02,561
- Maybe two of us will be
walking at Fashion Week.
449
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:03,986
(Mother Hotdog cheers)
450
00:11:03,987 --> 00:11:04,869
- Okay, you wanna see mine?
451
00:11:04,870 --> 00:11:05,776
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
452
00:11:05,777 --> 00:11:06,827
Here we go.
453
00:11:07,544 --> 00:11:10,074
- You okay, Mother Hotdog?
454
00:11:10,075 --> 00:11:11,435
- [Mother Hotdog] Can you gimme some um,
455
00:11:11,436 --> 00:11:14,410
(hotdogs squish)
music that I feel good...
456
00:11:14,411 --> 00:11:16,205
- [Vic] What about- Oh, god.
457
00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:17,038
Okay.
458
00:11:17,039 --> 00:11:19,255
Oh, I'm noticing you got
a couple of kids here.
459
00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:20,088
Okay.
460
00:11:20,089 --> 00:11:20,921
Here.
461
00:11:20,922 --> 00:11:21,754
What do you want me to do with them?
462
00:11:21,755 --> 00:11:23,016
I'm not really like a parent type.
463
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:25,656
- It's important that they see me first.
464
00:11:25,657 --> 00:11:26,974
- Like a duckling.
465
00:11:26,975 --> 00:11:31,674
(smooches)
466
00:11:31,675 --> 00:11:32,568
- Sarah Beth.
467
00:11:32,569 --> 00:11:33,401
- Oh.
468
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,234
- Michael.
469
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,067
- Okay.
470
00:11:35,068 --> 00:11:35,900
- And Luca.
471
00:11:35,901 --> 00:11:36,733
- You named them all?
472
00:11:36,734 --> 00:11:37,758
- They're Catholic.
473
00:11:37,759 --> 00:11:38,591
- (chuckles) Okay.
474
00:11:38,592 --> 00:11:40,029
- And I want you to have them.
475
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:40,862
- Really?
476
00:11:40,863 --> 00:11:41,695
- All right, gimme music.
477
00:11:41,696 --> 00:11:43,170
- Okay.
478
00:11:43,171 --> 00:11:46,571
(Vic sings)
(melodic music)
479
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:47,404
- Pick it up.
480
00:11:47,405 --> 00:11:50,232
(Vic sings faster)
(melodic music)
481
00:11:50,233 --> 00:11:51,357
Faster.
(Mother Hotdog farts)
482
00:11:51,358 --> 00:11:53,333
(Vic sings)
(melodic music)
483
00:11:53,334 --> 00:11:54,166
Faster
484
00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:56,593
(Vic sings)
(melodic music)
485
00:11:56,594 --> 00:11:57,704
John.
486
00:11:57,705 --> 00:12:02,705
(Vic sings)
(melodic music)
487
00:12:08,065 --> 00:12:10,096
(hotdogs squish)
488
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:15,097
(Vic singing)
(melodic music)
489
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:23,771
(Mother Hotdog farts)
490
00:12:23,772 --> 00:12:28,647
(Vic sings)
(soft rhythmic music)
491
00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:30,777
Gabriel.
492
00:12:30,778 --> 00:12:31,725
(smooch)
493
00:12:31,726 --> 00:12:33,264
Eli.
(smooch)
494
00:12:33,265 --> 00:12:34,544
Jesus.
(smooch)
495
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,052
- Jesus?
496
00:12:36,053 --> 00:12:41,053
(Vic sings)
(rhythmic music)
497
00:12:46,109 --> 00:12:51,109
(Vic sings)
(rhythmic music)
498
00:13:03,003 --> 00:13:05,392
- [Vic] Okay, I think we,
499
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,250
I think we got that.
500
00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:07,083
You nailed that.
501
00:13:07,084 --> 00:13:07,916
- [Mother Hotdog] You do?
502
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:08,749
- That was incredible.
503
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:09,582
And I don't just say that.
504
00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:10,415
I see a lot of people on the show
505
00:13:10,416 --> 00:13:11,462
and a lot of them, they're
like, how's my walk?
506
00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:12,295
And I'm like, oh good.
507
00:13:12,296 --> 00:13:13,128
And I don't mean it.
508
00:13:13,129 --> 00:13:13,961
I'm kind of lying to them.
509
00:13:13,962 --> 00:13:14,871
But that, honestly,
510
00:13:14,872 --> 00:13:17,433
and I mean it, was amazing.
511
00:13:17,434 --> 00:13:18,539
- That's so nice.
512
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:19,372
- [Vic] Yeah.
513
00:13:19,373 --> 00:13:20,205
Oh, my God.
514
00:13:20,206 --> 00:13:21,863
Okay.
515
00:13:21,864 --> 00:13:22,696
(smooch)
516
00:13:22,697 --> 00:13:23,529
- God.
- [Vic] Oh, God.
517
00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:24,743
And so, you go ahead and sit down.
518
00:13:24,744 --> 00:13:26,094
- I'm a model.
519
00:13:26,095 --> 00:13:27,065
- [Vic] You are a model.
520
00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:29,934
And I think a model walk
needs a model purse.
521
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,033
Let's have a PA fly in our new purse.
522
00:13:32,034 --> 00:13:32,866
- Whoa!
523
00:13:32,867 --> 00:13:35,614
The free stuff is already rolling in.
524
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,625
- Can you picture this, sort of,
525
00:13:36,626 --> 00:13:38,590
walking down the runway
at New York Fashion Week?
526
00:13:38,591 --> 00:13:40,395
- It looks like a carabiner.
527
00:13:40,396 --> 00:13:41,228
Thank you.
528
00:13:41,229 --> 00:13:42,061
- So, we can go ahead
529
00:13:42,062 --> 00:13:44,802
and we can put all of your
things in your new purse.
530
00:13:44,803 --> 00:13:45,635
- Wow.
531
00:13:45,636 --> 00:13:46,974
- And this, we can just sorta,
532
00:13:46,975 --> 00:13:48,403
(purse tumbles)
- This is the model life,
533
00:13:48,404 --> 00:13:49,236
right?
534
00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:50,315
- Free stuff.
- [Vic] Don't look at that.
535
00:13:50,316 --> 00:13:51,894
- Wine flowing freely.
536
00:13:51,895 --> 00:13:52,727
- If you don't mind,
537
00:13:52,728 --> 00:13:54,053
I'd like to ask you some
rapid fire questions.
538
00:13:54,054 --> 00:13:55,043
- You've earned my trust.
539
00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:57,365
(melodic music)
540
00:13:57,366 --> 00:14:00,275
- Do you floss after or
before you brush your teeth?
541
00:14:00,276 --> 00:14:01,945
- I floss on the dance floor.
542
00:14:01,946 --> 00:14:02,966
- [Vic] (chuckles) Okay.
543
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,294
Have you ever had surgery?
544
00:14:04,295 --> 00:14:07,275
- I mean, I guess I've had like
545
00:14:07,276 --> 00:14:08,326
four
546
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:10,596
million C-sections.
547
00:14:10,597 --> 00:14:11,529
- Is a doctor involved at all?
548
00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:12,362
- No.
549
00:14:12,363 --> 00:14:13,195
- [Vic] A medical professional?
550
00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:14,337
- [Mother Hotdog] Home birth.
- And by yourself?
551
00:14:14,338 --> 00:14:15,170
- By myself.
552
00:14:15,171 --> 00:14:16,176
- A single mom.
- Single mom.
553
00:14:16,177 --> 00:14:18,107
And single hotdogs don't get any respect.
554
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,564
- I know that's true.
555
00:14:19,565 --> 00:14:20,406
Ex,
556
00:14:20,407 --> 00:14:21,856
single ex stepparents also get,
557
00:14:21,857 --> 00:14:24,094
absolutely, no respect, anywhere.
558
00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:25,507
Is the bun a part of it?
559
00:14:25,508 --> 00:14:26,340
Sorry.
- Huh?
560
00:14:26,341 --> 00:14:28,152
- Well, I was wondering if the
bun is a part of your body.
561
00:14:28,153 --> 00:14:28,985
- This is clothes.
562
00:14:28,986 --> 00:14:30,471
This is facial moisturizer.
563
00:14:30,472 --> 00:14:32,232
- This is facial moisturizer.
564
00:14:32,233 --> 00:14:33,403
- Did you just touch this?
565
00:14:33,404 --> 00:14:34,251
- (chuckles) No.
566
00:14:34,252 --> 00:14:36,102
I sort of pointed close.
567
00:14:36,103 --> 00:14:37,153
Sorry.
568
00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:39,381
What do you-
569
00:14:39,382 --> 00:14:40,392
That's fine by me.
570
00:14:40,393 --> 00:14:42,163
Is this not okay for you?
571
00:14:42,164 --> 00:14:42,996
Oh, sorry.
572
00:14:42,997 --> 00:14:43,829
- Are you touching it?
573
00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:44,662
- [Vic] No, I'm not.
574
00:14:44,663 --> 00:14:45,495
You know what, we're gonna go
ahead and move on from that.
575
00:14:45,496 --> 00:14:46,979
Okay, last, but certainly not at least,
576
00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:48,779
something that I ask each
and every one of my guests,
577
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:50,987
what is the meaning of life?
578
00:14:50,988 --> 00:14:53,749
- Well, if you had asked me
this before this interview,
579
00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:55,597
I would've said, there is none.
580
00:14:55,598 --> 00:14:57,808
Three, two, one.
581
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:58,641
Goodbye.
582
00:14:58,642 --> 00:14:59,474
- Goodbye.
583
00:14:59,475 --> 00:15:01,699
- Then if you had asked me
slightly at the beginning,
584
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,057
I would've said,
585
00:15:03,058 --> 00:15:04,339
it's Catholicism.
586
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:05,447
Jesus is the way.
587
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,317
We have to follow God's orders.
588
00:15:07,318 --> 00:15:08,709
If you'd asked me slightly after that,
589
00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:11,648
I would've said, atheism rocks.
590
00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:12,859
Forget God.
591
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,739
Eschew religion.
592
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:15,572
It's faith.
593
00:15:15,573 --> 00:15:17,366
If you would've asked
me slightly after that,
594
00:15:17,367 --> 00:15:19,928
I would've said, Jesus is our savior.
595
00:15:19,929 --> 00:15:23,189
We have to protect him and
listen to all of his ways.
596
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,022
- Mother Hotdog.
597
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,668
I asked you right now,
598
00:15:25,669 --> 00:15:26,716
in this moment,
599
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,177
what is the meaning of life?
600
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:30,708
- The meaning of life is
601
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,042
to reach a place
602
00:15:32,887 --> 00:15:34,417
where you can understand
603
00:15:34,418 --> 00:15:37,596
how your past has affected your present.
604
00:15:37,597 --> 00:15:39,708
But you do not let it stop you.
605
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:43,348
Instead you find a new path forward
606
00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:47,308
and you create the life you
always envision for yourself.
607
00:15:47,309 --> 00:15:49,476
- That's really beautiful.
608
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,057
Are you sleeping?
609
00:15:52,058 --> 00:15:53,225
Mother Hotdog?
610
00:15:54,038 --> 00:15:56,069
- Are you touching this?
611
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:56,902
- (chuckles) No, I'm not.
612
00:15:56,903 --> 00:15:59,107
I just sort of went there
and I went, there, there.
613
00:15:59,108 --> 00:15:59,940
Okay.
614
00:15:59,941 --> 00:16:00,773
And that's totally fine.
615
00:16:00,774 --> 00:16:02,331
We have the new bag.
616
00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:03,928
We have the new walk.
617
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:05,286
- [Mother Hotdog] Eh.
- Now it's time
618
00:16:05,287 --> 00:16:06,376
for the new look.
619
00:16:06,377 --> 00:16:08,024
We're gonna do a whole skincare treatment.
620
00:16:08,025 --> 00:16:08,857
(Mother Hotdog gasps)
621
00:16:08,858 --> 00:16:10,216
Let's fly in the supplies.
622
00:16:10,217 --> 00:16:11,335
(Mother Hotdog screams)
623
00:16:11,336 --> 00:16:13,256
(melodic music)
624
00:16:13,257 --> 00:16:15,384
Here, you can hold, sort of, this mirror.
625
00:16:15,385 --> 00:16:16,952
I think we're gonna
start off with some mist.
626
00:16:16,953 --> 00:16:18,076
(bottle squirts)
627
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:19,278
So, that's lotion.
628
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,203
(bottle squirts)
629
00:16:20,204 --> 00:16:21,036
Sort of.
630
00:16:21,037 --> 00:16:21,869
Oh, right down the belly,
631
00:16:21,870 --> 00:16:22,702
sort of on the bib.
632
00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:25,574
But here is a, sort, of like
a broad spectrum sunscreen.
633
00:16:25,575 --> 00:16:27,003
(bottle squirts)
634
00:16:27,004 --> 00:16:28,704
And so, that didn't come out correctly.
635
00:16:28,705 --> 00:16:29,683
And, normally, I'd be so mad,
636
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,134
but we're chill and I
took some deep breaths.
637
00:16:31,135 --> 00:16:32,183
So, we're gonna do that.
638
00:16:32,184 --> 00:16:33,016
Okay.
639
00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:33,849
We're just gonna do a little bit of this
640
00:16:33,850 --> 00:16:34,857
and we're gonna do it in circles.
641
00:16:34,858 --> 00:16:35,690
Oh, my God.
642
00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:36,523
Look at that.
643
00:16:36,524 --> 00:16:37,356
- Is it blending?
644
00:16:37,357 --> 00:16:38,189
- Look in the mirror.
645
00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:39,022
Look in the mirror.
646
00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:39,855
I swear, look.
647
00:16:39,856 --> 00:16:40,688
(soothing music)
(Mother Hotdog gasps)
648
00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:41,521
Do you see that shine?
649
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:42,354
- I look dewy.
650
00:16:42,355 --> 00:16:43,187
- You do.
651
00:16:43,188 --> 00:16:44,380
Let's just do a little bit of,
652
00:16:44,381 --> 00:16:46,522
we, sort of, mixed in some moisturizer
653
00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:49,203
with the mustard to, sort of,
get the color code going on.
654
00:16:49,204 --> 00:16:50,190
And then I,
- See.
655
00:16:50,191 --> 00:16:52,122
Here's a public service
announce, by the way.
656
00:16:52,123 --> 00:16:52,955
- Okay.
657
00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:53,788
- Amber alert.
658
00:16:53,789 --> 00:16:54,621
(alarm sounds)
- We can't do,
659
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,530
- Hotdogs like mustard.
660
00:16:56,531 --> 00:16:58,531
This is the one thing
that's actually nice for us.
661
00:16:58,532 --> 00:16:59,491
- [Vic] Amber alert?
662
00:16:59,492 --> 00:17:00,642
- Silver alert.
663
00:17:00,643 --> 00:17:02,300
(alarm sounds)
- No, don't,
664
00:17:02,301 --> 00:17:03,733
- Give hotdogs mustard.
665
00:17:03,734 --> 00:17:04,566
- Let's go ahead
666
00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:05,665
and let's blend this in with
some more of your mustard.
667
00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:06,849
- [Mother Hotdog] Yeah, please.
668
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:07,682
- Here we go.
669
00:17:07,683 --> 00:17:08,832
Oh, look at that color.
670
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:09,665
- Is it good?
671
00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:10,971
- It's beautiful.
672
00:17:10,972 --> 00:17:12,050
You wanna do something for me?
673
00:17:12,051 --> 00:17:13,072
- I would love to.
674
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,823
(soothing music)
675
00:17:20,063 --> 00:17:22,563
(brush plops)
676
00:17:22,923 --> 00:17:24,804
- How does it look?
677
00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:25,691
- Oh, my God.
678
00:17:25,692 --> 00:17:27,312
You are looking like a hotdog.
679
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,422
- Is it blended?
680
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,255
- Hold on.
681
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,472
(soothing music)
682
00:17:30,473 --> 00:17:31,363
Okay.
- Okay.
683
00:17:31,364 --> 00:17:32,424
- We have a base layer.
684
00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:33,257
- [Vic] Okay.
685
00:17:33,258 --> 00:17:35,365
- And now some of the,
- [Vic] Oh, my gosh.
686
00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:36,379
- some of the sunscreen.
687
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:37,430
- Oh, man.
688
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,309
It's almost like there's
something that's burning my eyes.
689
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,168
Is that a good feeling?
690
00:17:41,169 --> 00:17:42,001
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
691
00:17:42,002 --> 00:17:42,834
- Okay.
692
00:17:42,835 --> 00:17:43,667
- Exfoliating.
693
00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:44,500
- Okay.
694
00:17:44,501 --> 00:17:45,448
(soothing music)
695
00:17:45,449 --> 00:17:46,281
- Okay.
696
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:47,114
And then hold on.
697
00:17:47,115 --> 00:17:48,419
(Vic sputters)
698
00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:49,518
- Is there a horseradish?
699
00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:50,351
(Vic coughs)
700
00:17:50,352 --> 00:17:52,208
- Do you mind painting my nails?
701
00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:53,248
- I would love to paint your nails.
702
00:17:53,249 --> 00:17:54,198
And will you paint my nails?
703
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,138
- Yeah.
704
00:17:55,139 --> 00:17:56,579
That's so good.
705
00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:57,577
- I think that one's perfect.
706
00:17:57,578 --> 00:17:58,410
And now my turn.
707
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,508
(soothing music)
708
00:17:59,509 --> 00:18:00,341
Oh, my God.
709
00:18:00,342 --> 00:18:01,648
This color is stunning on you.
710
00:18:01,649 --> 00:18:02,897
- Stop it. Are you sure?
711
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:03,914
- I swear to God.
712
00:18:03,915 --> 00:18:05,080
- It doesn't look like ketchup?
713
00:18:05,081 --> 00:18:05,913
- No, it doesn't.
714
00:18:05,914 --> 00:18:06,746
Go show the camera.
715
00:18:06,747 --> 00:18:09,839
(soothing music)
716
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:10,748
(Mother Hotdog giggles)
717
00:18:10,749 --> 00:18:12,488
- I feel beautiful.
718
00:18:12,489 --> 00:18:14,008
And you sure it doesn't look like ketchup?
719
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,070
- I'm 1000% positive it
doesn't look like ketchup.
720
00:18:16,071 --> 00:18:17,428
It looks like a beautiful model
721
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,949
that's about to walk in
New York Fashion Week.
722
00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:21,016
(soothing music)
723
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:21,849
- Thank you.
724
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:22,682
- You're welcome.
725
00:18:22,683 --> 00:18:23,520
- Because terror alert,
726
00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:24,617
(alarm beeps)
727
00:18:24,618 --> 00:18:25,450
- Hotdogs
- No, you can't say
728
00:18:25,451 --> 00:18:26,644
- don't like ketchup.
- terror alert.
729
00:18:26,645 --> 00:18:28,366
I think the mustard got my eyes.
730
00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:29,199
- Is that true?
731
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,250
- Yeah.
732
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,505
But it was worth it.
733
00:18:32,506 --> 00:18:35,187
(serene music)
734
00:18:35,188 --> 00:18:36,020
- Vic.
735
00:18:36,021 --> 00:18:37,126
- Yes.
736
00:18:37,127 --> 00:18:39,206
- You taught me I'm more than a mother.
737
00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:40,257
- [Vic] Okay.
738
00:18:41,596 --> 00:18:42,855
- I'm a woman.
739
00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:44,935
- I'm so glad that I
could do that for you.
740
00:18:44,936 --> 00:18:46,077
- I'm a hotdog.
741
00:18:46,078 --> 00:18:47,095
I'm a woman.
742
00:18:47,096 --> 00:18:48,677
I'm a hot, hotdog.
743
00:18:48,678 --> 00:18:52,577
- You are a hot, hotdog. (laughs)
744
00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:53,637
- Yeah.
745
00:18:53,638 --> 00:18:54,567
Um,
746
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:56,306
(soothing music)
747
00:18:56,307 --> 00:18:58,145
- Oh.
- And it's been so nice
748
00:18:58,146 --> 00:18:59,357
to feel that again.
749
00:18:59,358 --> 00:19:00,190
- [Vic] Right.
750
00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:01,023
Oh.
751
00:19:01,024 --> 00:19:03,027
Oh, I see.
752
00:19:03,028 --> 00:19:03,946
No.
753
00:19:03,947 --> 00:19:04,866
- What?
754
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:05,917
- No.
755
00:19:06,693 --> 00:19:08,582
No.
756
00:19:08,583 --> 00:19:09,415
- [Mother Hotdog] But I thought,
757
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,858
- Well, like in a friend way.
758
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,806
- You kept touching my belly.
759
00:19:12,807 --> 00:19:13,639
- Yeah, no.
760
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,229
So, because I was like,
oh, we gotta rub that.
761
00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:16,519
I was like, we gotta rub that in.
762
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,347
- You, literally, just
touched, but my clitoris.
763
00:19:19,348 --> 00:19:20,817
- That's your clitoris?
764
00:19:20,818 --> 00:19:21,650
You know what?
765
00:19:21,651 --> 00:19:22,483
I'm so sorry.
766
00:19:22,484 --> 00:19:23,567
I thought it was like, oh, we're friends.
767
00:19:23,568 --> 00:19:24,400
You know what I mean?
768
00:19:24,401 --> 00:19:25,233
I thought it was like a friends thing.
769
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:26,319
Sort of, like I was helping you
770
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,152
and I like,
771
00:19:27,153 --> 00:19:29,247
and I fixed you as I fixed
many people on this show.
772
00:19:29,248 --> 00:19:30,919
And so, I thought that was, sort of,
773
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:31,999
what was happening here.
774
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,029
- Oh.
775
00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,567
- It happens, truly, all the time.
776
00:19:34,568 --> 00:19:35,400
- No, it doesn't.
777
00:19:35,401 --> 00:19:36,589
- Don't worry about that.
778
00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:37,572
- Yeah.
- Okay.
779
00:19:37,573 --> 00:19:38,705
- No, I'm not worried.
780
00:19:38,706 --> 00:19:39,538
- Okay.
781
00:19:39,539 --> 00:19:40,371
So, we'll, sort of,
782
00:19:40,372 --> 00:19:41,204
And we'll,
783
00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:42,037
And that's our show.
784
00:19:42,038 --> 00:19:42,870
(upbeat music)
785
00:19:42,871 --> 00:19:45,121
I'm Vic Michaelis, reminding
you to be true to yourself
786
00:19:45,122 --> 00:19:47,481
unless you'd rather be somebody else.
787
00:19:47,482 --> 00:19:48,314
Good night.
788
00:19:48,315 --> 00:19:49,257
(upbeat music)
789
00:19:49,258 --> 00:19:50,609
(Mother Hotdog plops)
790
00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:53,193
(upbeat music)
791
00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:57,038
Not again.
792
00:19:57,039 --> 00:19:59,041
(Vic sighs)
793
00:19:59,042 --> 00:20:01,625
(upbeat music)
794
00:20:19,029 --> 00:20:22,446
(upbeat music continues)
795
00:20:39,497 --> 00:20:40,787
(upbeat music ends)
796
00:20:40,788 --> 00:20:42,137
- Great first day.
797
00:20:42,138 --> 00:20:44,207
Amazing first day.
798
00:20:44,208 --> 00:20:45,040
So, crew,
799
00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:46,008
So, quick announcement.
800
00:20:46,009 --> 00:20:46,841
Yes.
801
00:20:46,842 --> 00:20:47,674
Yes,
802
00:20:47,675 --> 00:20:48,998
I was spending the last six months
803
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:50,798
hosting the "Unipod Pomaz,
804
00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:52,497
Hungarian English
Language Weather Minute",
805
00:20:52,498 --> 00:20:53,550
just outside of Budapest.
806
00:20:53,551 --> 00:20:55,990
And it was lovely and it was
a life changing experience.
807
00:20:55,991 --> 00:20:57,846
I did decide to leave that job,
808
00:20:57,847 --> 00:20:59,867
even though they were
like begging me to stay,
809
00:20:59,868 --> 00:21:00,739
they really wanted me there,
810
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:01,864
to come back here.
811
00:21:01,865 --> 00:21:02,915
And why?
812
00:21:02,916 --> 00:21:06,150
Because there was an extra
year left on my contract
813
00:21:06,151 --> 00:21:07,528
and they, sort of, said, "stay.
814
00:21:07,529 --> 00:21:08,361
If you wanna stay, stay."
815
00:21:08,362 --> 00:21:09,209
And I said, "no.
816
00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,109
You need me here.
817
00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:10,942
You need me here."
818
00:21:10,943 --> 00:21:11,788
And they said, "we don't."
819
00:21:11,789 --> 00:21:14,030
And I said, "that is your anger talking.
820
00:21:14,031 --> 00:21:16,489
That is your fear of
what could be talking."
821
00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:17,961
And so, here we are.
822
00:21:17,962 --> 00:21:18,801
And we're making it work.
823
00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:19,689
And we're doing it.
824
00:21:19,690 --> 00:21:20,691
And we love it.
825
00:21:20,692 --> 00:21:21,921
And we're all happy and we're all smiling.
826
00:21:21,922 --> 00:21:23,841
So, if we could all be
smiling a little bit more,
827
00:21:23,842 --> 00:21:26,001
I think that's gonna make us feel better.
828
00:21:26,002 --> 00:21:28,388
(stars chime)
829
00:21:28,438 --> 00:21:32,988
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