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1
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:03,002
Hey, thanks for coming
over at such short notice.
2
00:00:03,002 --> 00:00:04,378
How's it looking there?
3
00:00:04,378 --> 00:00:06,547
(Sharon)
You do know this
is a dryer, right?
4
00:00:06,547 --> 00:00:08,257
'Course I know it's a dryer.
5
00:00:08,257 --> 00:00:10,509
Okay, I'm just
trying to figure out
6
00:00:10,509 --> 00:00:12,387
why there's cheese
in your lint trap.
7
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,766
We were drunk, we had pizza mix
8
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,226
blow dryer was taking too long.
9
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,021
That's the most
stupid thing I ever heard.
10
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:23,481
Not for long. I haven't
finished the story yet.
11
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:24,982
Can't wait.
12
00:00:24,982 --> 00:00:27,026
Well, see, we were
makin' pizza in the dryer
13
00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:29,070
'cause we were already
making ashtrays in the oven
14
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:30,696
and a Tupperware
sculpture in the microwave.
15
00:00:30,696 --> 00:00:31,740
[laughing]
16
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,409
Did I mention we were drunk?
17
00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:38,454
Don't feel bad. I get
a lot of calls like this.
18
00:00:38,454 --> 00:00:40,122
Yeah, well, listen before
you go round the neighborhood
19
00:00:40,122 --> 00:00:42,333
telling everybody that
Drew Carey's a drunken lunatic
20
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,668
I just want to tell you that
we were drunk last night
21
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:44,711
'cause we were celebrating.
22
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,503
Oh, yeah? What for?
23
00:00:46,503 --> 00:00:48,130
Oh, I finally made the last
payment on a engagement ring
24
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:49,840
I bought for
this woman who dumped me.
25
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,342
You want see it?
It's sitting in the freezer.
26
00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:54,054
Is it still on her finger?
27
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,349
- Hey, Drew.
- Hey, Drew.
28
00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,934
Oh, hey, everybody.
This is, uh, Sharon.
29
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:02,686
She came here to fix all the
stuff we broke last night.
30
00:01:02,686 --> 00:01:04,397
We're really sorry
about that, Drew.
31
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,482
Can she do
anything about the VCR?
32
00:01:06,482 --> 00:01:08,526
- You broke the VCR?
- No.
33
00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:11,821
I was thinkin' that the VCR
was sad because, um
34
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,823
the dryer was broken because
they're friends and stuff.
35
00:01:16,617 --> 00:01:18,953
I got go tally this up.
And I'm not just saying this
36
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,621
'cause it's good for business...
37
00:01:20,621 --> 00:01:21,664
...party on!
38
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:27,045
Wow! Nice looking handyman.
39
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,171
Yeah. Did she borrow your tool?
40
00:01:29,171 --> 00:01:31,049
[laughing]
41
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:33,426
You mean my penis?
42
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:38,222
Yeah, she used my
penis to fix the dryer.
43
00:01:38,222 --> 00:01:39,974
Well, you weren't so
high and mighty last night
44
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:43,436
when you were wrestling
the dog in your boxer shorts.
45
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:44,603
I never did that.
46
00:01:44,603 --> 00:01:46,981
Who did?
47
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,817
Who cares who did it?
What is this? A witch-hunt?
48
00:01:52,236 --> 00:01:54,154
That's it, Drew,
no more broken hearts.
49
00:01:54,154 --> 00:01:55,740
I can't handle
the drinking anymore.
50
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,950
Last night I thought
I was cheating on Oswald.
51
00:01:57,950 --> 00:01:59,743
- Luckily, it was just Oswald.
- Yeah.
52
00:01:59,743 --> 00:02:02,664
I was a sailor called Pablo.
53
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:05,291
Hey, you know,
I think Drew should
54
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,709
get right back on the horse, uh?
55
00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:09,044
And right out there is a
handywoman who has seen
56
00:02:09,044 --> 00:02:11,255
and apparently accepts
how creepy he lives.
57
00:02:11,255 --> 00:02:13,258
- Yeah.
- Would you let it go?
58
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,676
- Let him get over Nicki.
- Hey, I'm over Nicki.
59
00:02:15,676 --> 00:02:17,387
I realized that last night
when I was sittin' here
60
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,346
feeling bad for myself thinkin'
61
00:02:19,346 --> 00:02:22,225
"Man, I am the
biggest loser in the world."
62
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,477
Then I saw Lewis out in the
backyard wrestling with Speedy.
63
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:28,648
Would you drop it, okay?
64
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,275
At the time,
I thought he was a grizzly.
65
00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:33,778
Excuse me for saving your house.
66
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:37,365
So, if you're so over Nicki
67
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,991
why don't you ask
the handywoman out?
68
00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:41,660
Would you give it a rest?
He was just engaged.
69
00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:43,954
If we broke up would you be
dating in less than a month?
70
00:02:43,954 --> 00:02:46,374
I wouldn't... but Pablo might.
71
00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:50,836
Alright, Drew.
Here's your bill.
72
00:02:50,836 --> 00:02:52,588
And about the VCR,
I took off ten bucks
73
00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,090
'cause I found a
porno tape in there.
74
00:02:56,884 --> 00:02:57,844
I'm keepin' it.
75
00:03:00,804 --> 00:03:01,847
Well, this isn't so bad.
76
00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:02,932
Are you always this reasonable
77
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,850
or you just do a crappy job?
78
00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:08,146
I think she gave you an
"I like you" discount.
79
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,313
Come on, honey,
there's something
80
00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:11,315
I want to show you in the car.
81
00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:13,109
No, there isn't.
You just want to yell at me.
82
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,988
We don't call it yelling.
What do we call it?
83
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,823
"Stuff I should know by now."
84
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,245
Hey, look, uh,
my friends mean well.
85
00:03:25,245 --> 00:03:26,914
I don't want you to take this
the wrong way or anything
86
00:03:26,914 --> 00:03:30,000
but I'm-I'm not looking to meet
anybody right now, sorry.
87
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,460
That's okay.
88
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,504
You're not my type anyway.
89
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,297
Well, I was just about
to tell you the same thing.
90
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:36,632
But right before you said it.
91
00:03:36,632 --> 00:03:39,051
[chuckling]
Good. 'Cause I'm not interested.
92
00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:40,386
- Neither am I.
- Okay.
93
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,846
I just want to
make sure you realize
94
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:44,014
I was not flirting with you.
95
00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:46,100
I'm sorry, I find you
dull and uninteresting.
96
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,935
Did you say somethin'?
97
00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:50,521
Yeah, I was just fantasizing
about a real man. Bye.
98
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:54,776
I still got it!
99
00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:56,903
(Sharon)
'No, you don't.'
100
00:03:59,738 --> 00:04:05,787
♪ Ah ♪
101
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,873
♪ All this energy callin' me ♪
102
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,708
♪ Back where it comes from ♪
103
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:15,129
♪ It's such a crude attitude ♪
104
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:18,049
♪ It's back where it belongs ♪
105
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,885
♪ All the little chicks
with their crimson lips ♪
106
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,970
♪ Go Cleveland rocks ♪
107
00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:24,597
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
108
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,433
♪ Livin' in sin
with a safety pin ♪
109
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,435
♪ Going Cleveland rocks ♪
110
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:32,689
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
111
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,150
[echoing]
Ohio.
112
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:42,740
Carey, I saw the flyers you
posted around the store.
113
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:45,201
(Nigel)
'"Engagement ring for sale."'
114
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,870
Why not just write,
"Pathetic Loser" everywhere?
115
00:04:50,247 --> 00:04:52,667
Any other broken
dreams you're looking to sell?
116
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:56,838
Perhaps an
unopened box of condoms.
117
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,547
I know you aren't
familiar with American culture
118
00:04:58,547 --> 00:05:00,674
but our customs dictate
that I pop you in the mouth
119
00:05:00,674 --> 00:05:01,842
next time you say
somethin' like that.
120
00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:04,303
I'm game.
Although I must warn you
121
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:06,180
my screams can be
quite ear piercing.
122
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,559
I'm sure you're not bragging,
sir, but unless you want to
123
00:05:10,559 --> 00:05:12,603
buy the engagement ring,
I have to get back to work.
124
00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:13,937
Well, let's see it then.
125
00:05:13,937 --> 00:05:15,356
You're getting engaged, sir?
126
00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,108
Well, for the weekend at least.
Although I sense
127
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,901
we will be
growing apart by Sunday.
128
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,446
I'm not selling it to you,
this means a lot to me.
129
00:05:22,446 --> 00:05:24,657
I'm not going to sell it you
just so you can get lucky.
130
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,159
Fine! Then let it be on your
head that this poor woman
131
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:29,329
slept with me and got
absolutely nothing out of it!
132
00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:35,168
Mm. Here you go, pig.
133
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,629
Any luck unloading
that ring that you got back
134
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,005
'cause your
girlfriend dumped ya?
135
00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:41,299
Do you always have to add
136
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,966
"'Cause your
girlfriend dumped ya?"
137
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:44,677
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you in a bad mood
138
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:45,970
'cause your
girlfriend dumped ya?
139
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,473
Yeah, sure, it's easy for you.
140
00:05:49,473 --> 00:05:51,809
I mean... you
have all kind of admirers.
141
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,436
Look at those flowers.
142
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:56,397
Oh, what kind of
fool do you think I-oh!
143
00:05:57,481 --> 00:05:58,983
Ah. Ha-ha.
144
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,819
No card.
145
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,030
Could be somebody shy.
146
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,948
Could be somebody
don't know how to write.
147
00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:08,910
Could be a secret admirer.
148
00:06:20,712 --> 00:06:22,131
Could be Super Glue.
149
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,386
You'll pay for this, pig.
150
00:06:28,637 --> 00:06:30,723
Hey, it's midnight
in the garden of mean and ugly.
151
00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:33,893
- Hey, Drew.
- Hey.
152
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,894
Hey, Drew, we're going to
lunch, you wanna come?
153
00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:37,479
Ah, yeah, I'd
love to but I have to work.
154
00:06:37,479 --> 00:06:39,065
So you guys
go ahead without me.
155
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,191
Uh, hey, Drew.
156
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:45,154
When, uh, when
you borrowed my super glue
157
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,321
was this what it was for?
158
00:06:46,321 --> 00:06:48,491
- Yeah.
- That's a good gag.
159
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,745
Sorry, I'm late, Drew.
I got your call on my pager.
160
00:06:53,745 --> 00:06:55,956
I got here as soon as I could.
What's the problem?
161
00:06:55,956 --> 00:06:57,333
Oh, uh, Sharon,
I'll be right with you.
162
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,751
My friends are
just about to leave.
163
00:06:59,751 --> 00:07:02,213
Oh, I get it,
you-you got work to do.
164
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:04,423
With the handyman.
165
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,675
I guess Drew got
tired of "Do It Yourself".
166
00:07:06,675 --> 00:07:09,011
[laughing]
167
00:07:11,388 --> 00:07:13,099
Excuse me, do you
think you're hiding?
168
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,983
No, I'm in bloom.
169
00:07:24,443 --> 00:07:26,028
Sorry, my friends make
a bad first impression.
170
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:28,072
But, it's an accurate one. Ahem.
171
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:30,157
Sharon, this is the chair I'm
having trouble with right there.
172
00:07:30,157 --> 00:07:32,618
Can you-would you excuse us?
173
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,036
Don't tell me you needed Sharon
174
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,871
to come over here
and fix your chair.
175
00:07:35,871 --> 00:07:37,622
The store has tons of
maintenance people.
176
00:07:37,622 --> 00:07:39,166
Oh, you know how long
it takes those guys
177
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:40,960
to get here after you
call them? I mean...
178
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,295
Hey, Mr. Carey.
179
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,671
Have anything you
need done today?
180
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:45,964
No thanks, Jimmy.
181
00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:47,508
You want me to just hang out,
wait around
182
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,676
in case somethin' breaks?
183
00:07:50,385 --> 00:07:52,262
Get the hell
out of here, Jimmy.
184
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:53,306
Alright.
185
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,933
Drew, you're on the rebound
186
00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:58,728
and you're
real vulnerable right now.
187
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,938
Just take it slow.
Don't get too attached.
188
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:02,189
Don't worry,
I just want somebody
189
00:08:02,189 --> 00:08:03,941
I can do couple stuff with.
190
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,776
I mean, you have Oswald,
Lewis has Pinky.
191
00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,861
I just want-it'd be fun to have
someone to hang around with.
192
00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:09,405
But, Drew,
it's not a good idea--
193
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,449
Uh-uh, have a good time
at lunch. Bye.
194
00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:14,618
Boy, the springs are shot.
195
00:08:14,618 --> 00:08:16,120
Did a safe fall
on this thing?
196
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,290
Listen now, the chair
really is broken.
197
00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:22,168
But that's not the real reason
I called you up here.
198
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:26,922
Oh. Listen, uh,
you're a really nice guy--
199
00:08:26,922 --> 00:08:29,549
Hey, before you try to guess
where this is going.
200
00:08:29,549 --> 00:08:34,054
Yes, I'm gonna ask you out,
but, only as a friend.
201
00:08:34,054 --> 00:08:37,266
Oh, so that's why
the engagement didn't work out.
202
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,725
Sure, I'll be your friend.
203
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:40,478
I always wanted a gay friend.
204
00:08:42,646 --> 00:08:44,899
I'm not gay. Look at me,
I'm not in that kind of shape.
205
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:50,821
So, you just wanna be friends?
206
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,656
Yeah, I just thought
it would fun
207
00:08:52,656 --> 00:08:54,241
to go out with somebody,
who won't fall in love with me
208
00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:55,617
I won't fall with them.
209
00:08:55,617 --> 00:08:57,661
You know, just no pressure.
210
00:08:57,661 --> 00:09:00,081
Just two friends,
out, having fun.
211
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,374
- Fun, huh?
- Yeah.
212
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,250
Wanna talk about this
over lunch?
213
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,710
Yeah, but I gotta warn you,
I don't talk much
214
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:05,753
while I'm eating.
215
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,966
Give me a moment while I try
to react with surprise.
216
00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:14,095
Hey, you're funny.
217
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,388
You like flowers?
Come here.
218
00:09:17,806 --> 00:09:20,142
[instrumental music]
219
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,852
You know, at first I thought
painting Easter eggs
220
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:24,230
is gonna be a drag.
But it's actually kinda fun.
221
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,440
Hey, guys, I got the prettiest
girl on the block.
222
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,775
A-wooga!
223
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,282
Uh, come on, come on.
224
00:09:35,282 --> 00:09:36,950
More painting,
less talking, okay?
225
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:38,827
If we don't get this
to Reverend Linderman
226
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:40,621
there's gonna be a whole bunch
of kids walking around
227
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,456
the church lawn and filling
their Easter baskets
228
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,624
full of dog poop.
229
00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:48,337
- Pinky, can I have another egg?
- Sure.
230
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,965
What's that new drug your
testing for Drugco again?
231
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,927
[splat]
232
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,805
Oh, yeah, the one that alters
your sense of distance.
233
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,891
Oh, honey, honey,
I'm really sorry.
234
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:01,933
- Pinky.
- Oh.
235
00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:02,977
I'm right here.
236
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:05,312
Everything's okay.
237
00:10:05,312 --> 00:10:06,731
Oh, God, thanks, honey.
238
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:08,857
[beer splattering]
239
00:10:08,857 --> 00:10:10,150
Uh, try drinking
240
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:11,277
six feet behind your head.
241
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,655
There you go.
242
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,699
Uh, I gotta drop these off
with the Reverend's.
243
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,784
- Hmm, here.
- Here you go.
244
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,662
[thuds]
245
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:24,080
Well, I 'm gonna go finish
tightening up that banister.
246
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,541
Is there somethin' else
you wanted me to do?
247
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,292
Uh, yeah. Can you...
248
00:10:27,292 --> 00:10:28,711
...take the lid off
the mayonnaise jar
249
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:29,962
but just loosen it,
so I can open it up
250
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,005
in front of my friends?
251
00:10:35,717 --> 00:10:37,469
- Oh.
- Sorry.
252
00:10:37,469 --> 00:10:39,388
- Ah.
- I'm sorry.
253
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,431
- Oh! I'm sorry.
- Ow!
254
00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:42,766
How long are these effects
gonna last?
255
00:10:42,766 --> 00:10:44,517
Oh, about a week.
256
00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:45,978
Uh, you know what? Maybe you
shouldn't come over tonight.
257
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,397
- Sex could be dangerous.
- I'm not--
258
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,274
I'm sorry, it just,
it looked like that sleeve
259
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,484
was about ten feet long.
260
00:10:52,484 --> 00:10:53,694
To hell with danger.
261
00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:56,822
[soft thud]
262
00:11:01,451 --> 00:11:03,162
Hey, the banister's
all tightened.
263
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,040
Thanks, how much
do I owe you?
264
00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:08,375
Tell you what?
265
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:09,459
No charge, if you give me
266
00:11:09,459 --> 00:11:11,253
an honest answer
about something.
267
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,216
Okay. Uh...
268
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,925
Even though I've never
seen that color in nature
269
00:11:16,925 --> 00:11:18,219
I think your hair looks great.
270
00:11:23,431 --> 00:11:26,435
Uh, no.
I was gonna ask...
271
00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:29,146
...is there something about me,
that puts guys off?
272
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,232
- I-I have this date later.
- Oh.
273
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,150
And, he cancelled.
274
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,985
He said he had
to work late.
275
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,321
People have to work late. It's
happened to me tons of times.
276
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:39,072
I can't tell you, how many women
I've gone out with, that said
277
00:11:39,072 --> 00:11:41,283
they had to work late-
oh, I see what you mean.
278
00:11:43,243 --> 00:11:46,163
This isn't the first time.
I mean, I get cancelled on.
279
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:49,166
Or I go out once and I never
hear from the guy again.
280
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,667
Well, I don't know,
you're kinda tough
281
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:51,877
but, I like that.
282
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,254
And it can't be your looks
283
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,380
'cause you're really cute,
I mean...
284
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,924
Heh, man, you're adorable.
285
00:11:58,425 --> 00:11:59,384
I am not.
286
00:11:59,384 --> 00:12:00,428
[giggles]
287
00:12:03,972 --> 00:12:05,141
Yeah, yeah, you are.
288
00:12:07,392 --> 00:12:09,644
You know what, hey, to hell with
anybody who stands you up, huh?
289
00:12:09,644 --> 00:12:12,397
I'm here, you're here.
We got music.
290
00:12:12,397 --> 00:12:13,482
What music?
291
00:12:14,691 --> 00:12:17,611
[swing music]
292
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:27,997
I usually do this by myself.
293
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,375
You are doing it by yourself.
294
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:34,002
- Oh, yeah.
- No, look.
295
00:12:34,002 --> 00:12:36,463
You're having such a good time.
Don't let me spoil it.
296
00:12:36,463 --> 00:12:39,090
- He-he.
- Come on, it's fun.
297
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:40,300
[pager beeping]
Hold on, I got a page.
298
00:12:41,551 --> 00:12:44,263
Hey, the date's back on.
299
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,223
He got off work.
Isn't that great?
300
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:48,308
Yeah. That-that's really great.
301
00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:50,310
Hey, I'll-I'll call you later.
302
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,688
Drew, uh, what can I say?
303
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:53,731
You're a bud.
304
00:12:58,651 --> 00:13:00,404
Swing music.
What was I thinking?
305
00:13:01,613 --> 00:13:04,241
Next time, reggae.
306
00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:08,037
♪ We're jammin'
we're jammin' ♪
307
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,373
♪ Look out we're jammin' ♪
308
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:14,376
[instrumental music]
309
00:13:27,055 --> 00:13:28,348
Hey-hey, Sharon.
310
00:13:28,348 --> 00:13:29,474
Yeah, it's me, hey.
311
00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:31,101
How you doing?
312
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:32,853
How'd the date go?
313
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:34,146
Oh, it's still goin' on.
314
00:13:37,065 --> 00:13:39,025
Oh, listen, I'm really,
I'm really sorry to call you
315
00:13:39,025 --> 00:13:41,653
but, I-I have a little
emergency over here.
316
00:13:41,653 --> 00:13:45,281
I think, there's a leak
in one of my pipes.
317
00:13:45,281 --> 00:13:47,951
Yeah, oh, well, maybe,
you better come over.
318
00:13:47,951 --> 00:13:50,245
Yeah, hey, I'm really sorry.
319
00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:51,288
Thanks.
320
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,917
Man, I hate ruining her date.
321
00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:58,253
Oh yeah, I gotta break a pipe.
322
00:14:04,259 --> 00:14:06,303
[reggae music]
323
00:14:07,428 --> 00:14:09,222
[knock on door]
324
00:14:09,222 --> 00:14:10,265
Comin'.
325
00:14:16,396 --> 00:14:17,856
What are you guys doing here?
326
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,983
We came back
to get all the egg dye stuff.
327
00:14:19,983 --> 00:14:21,568
All the eggs broke
when I slammed
328
00:14:21,568 --> 00:14:23,736
on the brakes of my car.
329
00:14:23,736 --> 00:14:25,905
Excuse me,
for wanting to stop.
330
00:14:25,905 --> 00:14:29,617
But there was a 400 foot Jesus
in the middle of the road.
331
00:14:29,617 --> 00:14:32,245
I thought
it might be important.
332
00:14:32,245 --> 00:14:33,997
It was a four inch Jesus.
333
00:14:33,997 --> 00:14:36,166
And he was on the dashboard
of my car.
334
00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:41,588
That is no reason to shove those
huge breasts in my face.
335
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,259
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
336
00:14:48,261 --> 00:14:49,637
Wait a sec.
337
00:14:49,637 --> 00:14:52,766
Cool clothes, candle light,
reggae music.
338
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:55,018
I know what's goin' on here.
339
00:14:55,018 --> 00:14:57,062
You're gettin'
on the "Ganja Train."
340
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:00,565
No, I'm not gettin'
on the "Ganja Train"
341
00:15:00,565 --> 00:15:02,109
but I do have company
coming over so, get the stuff
342
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,735
and take
it over to Lewis's place.
343
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:07,655
Oh, this company wouldn't
be your friend Sharon, would it?
344
00:15:07,655 --> 00:15:09,908
Yeah, it's Sharon,
but it's not a date.
345
00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:11,952
She's coming over to fix a leak
in one of my pipes.
346
00:15:17,749 --> 00:15:19,459
(Oswald)
Let me guess.
347
00:15:19,459 --> 00:15:21,587
Is it your love pipe?
348
00:15:23,796 --> 00:15:25,549
You're 35 years old.
349
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,301
When are you gonna start using
the word "penis"?
350
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:30,219
I made you say it.
351
00:15:30,219 --> 00:15:32,097
[laughing]
352
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,307
Drew, you're not
fooling anybody.
353
00:15:34,307 --> 00:15:35,725
You are expecting a woman.
354
00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:37,936
You and your cheeks sucked in.
355
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:41,523
You know the way you think
makes you look like Marky Mark.
356
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,900
I wasn't expecting a woman.
I was expecting Speedy.
357
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,777
They you are, buddy.
Time for your dance lesson, boy.
358
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,905
Ah.
359
00:15:48,905 --> 00:15:50,574
How come Speedy's all wet?
360
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:51,867
[gasps]
Oh, my God!
361
00:15:54,952 --> 00:15:56,079
[water gushing]
362
00:15:57,622 --> 00:15:59,207
Oh, my God.
How could this have happened?
363
00:15:59,207 --> 00:16:02,293
It was just a little hole in the
pipe leaking into a bucket.
364
00:16:02,293 --> 00:16:05,588
You busted a pipe just to get
Sharon to come over here?
365
00:16:05,588 --> 00:16:07,466
Do you realize
how stupid that sounds?
366
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:10,219
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over
the sound of my house sinking.
367
00:16:12,679 --> 00:16:13,888
- Ooh.
- Ah.
368
00:16:13,888 --> 00:16:17,308
Oh, hey, it's my barbells.
369
00:16:17,308 --> 00:16:18,351
I don't want them to rust.
370
00:16:18,351 --> 00:16:19,394
[inhales]
371
00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:25,317
Let go of the weights.
372
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,027
[Lewis grunts]
373
00:16:28,027 --> 00:16:29,571
Boy, I really got to start
working out again.
374
00:16:31,239 --> 00:16:32,783
I can't stop the leak.
375
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,159
Where's the shut-off valve?
376
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,244
It's right where
my dad said it was.
377
00:16:36,244 --> 00:16:37,829
Oh, he's right.
I wasn't paying attention.
378
00:16:38,955 --> 00:16:40,457
I-I-I'll go find it.
379
00:16:41,958 --> 00:16:44,294
Oh, man, my baseball mitt...
380
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,879
...my teddy bear.
381
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:49,257
Family photo album,
my only picture of grandma.
382
00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:51,509
Hey, Drew, look.
Your dad's old Playboys.
383
00:16:51,509 --> 00:16:52,594
No!
384
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:04,022
Drew, you can't lift.
Those are wet.
385
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:06,566
They must weigh over 300 pounds.
386
00:17:06,566 --> 00:17:08,443
- Ah.
- Wow.
387
00:17:08,443 --> 00:17:11,196
He's like that woman who lifted
the car off her child.
388
00:17:12,029 --> 00:17:12,990
Yeah.
389
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:16,451
Oh! Something's got my foot.
390
00:17:16,451 --> 00:17:17,494
- What?
- Oh!
391
00:17:21,164 --> 00:17:22,874
Quick. Give me a knife.
392
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:23,917
[groaning]
393
00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:42,769
- Ah!
- Aaaah!
394
00:17:45,271 --> 00:17:46,815
You cut my hose,
you psycho.
395
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,570
You're almost seven feet tall.
You could have just sat up.
396
00:17:54,447 --> 00:17:57,409
Holy crap. I thought you said
it was a little leak.
397
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,785
Oh, hey, Sharon.
Glad you could make it.
398
00:17:59,785 --> 00:18:01,621
You look nice.
Can I get you a drink?
399
00:18:01,621 --> 00:18:03,456
No. Thanks, Drew.
400
00:18:03,456 --> 00:18:05,417
You, go rent a sump pump.
401
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,710
You, go help your
hysterical girlfriend.
402
00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:10,255
She's already unscrewed
about 15 sprinkler heads.
403
00:18:11,714 --> 00:18:13,257
Hey, after this
404
00:18:13,257 --> 00:18:15,093
let's go wear
ourselves in our wet pants.
405
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,511
You read my mind.
406
00:18:19,472 --> 00:18:20,932
Thought they'd never leave.
407
00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:22,600
Ha-ha-ha.
408
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,520
Hey, uh, want to see
my old wrestling trophy?
409
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:26,813
I know it looks like a guy
eating a pie
410
00:18:26,813 --> 00:18:27,981
but he's really wrestling
with it.
411
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:30,984
Kinda busy, Drew.
412
00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:32,027
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.
413
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,031
[water splashing]
414
00:18:37,365 --> 00:18:38,367
Hey, look at me.
I'm a fountain.
415
00:18:40,535 --> 00:18:42,245
That's cute,
but I should warn you
416
00:18:42,245 --> 00:18:44,205
there's a possibility
some of that could be sewage.
417
00:18:44,205 --> 00:18:45,290
[spits]
418
00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:49,961
Looks like somebody's
been bangin' on this pipe.
419
00:18:49,961 --> 00:18:52,380
What kind of nut
would do a thing like that?
420
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:55,384
[Drew singing gibberish]
421
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,692
Hey, you don't speak
Spanish either.
422
00:19:15,444 --> 00:19:16,905
I can also play "Cherish".
423
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,449
Drew.
424
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,743
You don't wanna just
be friends anymore, do you?
425
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,202
No.
426
00:19:23,202 --> 00:19:25,788
And this wasn't an accident,
was it?
427
00:19:25,788 --> 00:19:27,290
No.
428
00:19:27,290 --> 00:19:29,083
And you haven't taken
accordion lessons
429
00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:30,335
in a long time, have you?
430
00:19:31,335 --> 00:19:32,295
I taught myself.
431
00:19:32,295 --> 00:19:35,089
[accordion music]
432
00:19:35,089 --> 00:19:38,009
[sighs]
Drew, this is really sweet.
433
00:19:38,009 --> 00:19:40,637
But, I gotta tell you.
You're a real--
434
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,014
- Now don't say "nice guy."
- Pain in the ass.
435
00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:45,099
Thank you.
436
00:19:45,099 --> 00:19:47,477
Okay, look, at first,
I did just want to be friends.
437
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,979
But, then, somethin' happened
and I wanted to...
438
00:19:49,979 --> 00:19:51,773
...see if you felt
the same way that I felt
439
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,858
but, judging by that
"I wonder if he'll believe
440
00:19:53,858 --> 00:19:55,861
I'm a lesbian look
on your face..."
441
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,903
...I guess you don't.
442
00:19:58,821 --> 00:20:00,573
I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
443
00:20:00,573 --> 00:20:01,866
I'm gonna fix this all this
444
00:20:01,866 --> 00:20:04,077
and I'm gonna do
it at cost.
445
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:05,245
We're not gonna date.
446
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,455
You asked for it.
447
00:20:07,525 --> 00:20:09,930
Ladies and gentlemen...
"Cherish".
448
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:15,251
[accordion music]
449
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,930
Hey, that's not Cher-- Hey!
I can play "Lady of Spain"!
450
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:31,500
[accordion music]
451
00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:34,200
Hey, Cap'n.
Mind if I board?
452
00:20:34,270 --> 00:20:36,500
Yeah, but I can only take
you as far as the furnace.
453
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:39,000
After that, it's
international waters.
454
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:44,469
I heard your song.
455
00:20:44,469 --> 00:20:45,970
She didn't go for it, huh?
456
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:47,889
Yeah, but you know
what throws me?
457
00:20:47,889 --> 00:20:49,223
She didn't go for me at all
458
00:20:49,223 --> 00:20:51,600
and I was cute as hell.
459
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,477
Let me tell you something, Drew.
If we were dating
460
00:20:53,477 --> 00:20:54,854
and you did something
like that for me
461
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,438
I would be yours forever.
462
00:20:56,438 --> 00:20:58,399
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
463
00:20:58,399 --> 00:20:59,901
Let me ask you something,
you gotta promise
464
00:20:59,901 --> 00:21:01,319
you'll never tell Oswald
I asked you this.
465
00:21:01,319 --> 00:21:03,821
But... if we were alone
in this boat
466
00:21:03,821 --> 00:21:06,448
in the middle of the ocean
and we were trapped...
467
00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:08,368
...would you let me, you know
468
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,798
play "Lady of Spain"?
469
00:21:10,868 --> 00:21:12,620
No. But we can have sex.
470
00:21:15,247 --> 00:21:17,332
Keep it in your pants, O'Brien.
471
00:21:17,332 --> 00:21:20,336
[accordion music]
472
00:21:24,170 --> 00:21:26,131
[instrumental music]
473
00:21:28,633 --> 00:21:31,010
[both screaming]
474
00:21:31,010 --> 00:21:33,429
[laughing]
What?
475
00:21:33,429 --> 00:21:35,098
I thought you'd be happy I
returned your hockey mask
476
00:21:35,098 --> 00:21:36,224
and knife.
477
00:21:36,224 --> 00:21:37,725
You did that on purpose.
478
00:21:37,725 --> 00:21:39,101
[laughing]
Okay.
479
00:21:39,101 --> 00:21:42,272
But that's no reason
to go nibblin' my toes.
480
00:21:42,272 --> 00:21:43,606
How could I be nibblin'
your toes?
481
00:21:43,606 --> 00:21:45,775
I'm sitting on the boat.
482
00:21:45,775 --> 00:21:46,818
[yelling]
483
00:21:48,987 --> 00:21:50,739
Help! Ah, ah.
484
00:21:52,866 --> 00:21:54,534
It's always fun
'til somebody gets eaten.
33079
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