Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,958 --> 00:00:04,546
Attach wing B...to fuselage.
2
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:08,258
Uh!
3
00:00:09,717 --> 00:00:11,386
This used to make me so happy.
4
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,846
What happened?
5
00:00:14,138 --> 00:00:15,640
Oh, they changed the glue.
6
00:00:18,684 --> 00:00:20,103
- Hey, Drew!
- Hey, Drew!
7
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,022
Hey, Andy.
Hey, Gome. Thelma Lou.
8
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:26,150
Goob.
9
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:28,027
You know we haven't seen you
at The Warsaw in like a week
10
00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:29,362
and we were afraid you might be
11
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,404
having trouble
getting over Nicki.
12
00:00:30,404 --> 00:00:32,114
Uh, nope, not me.
13
00:00:32,114 --> 00:00:33,783
Busy, busy, busy.
14
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,285
Oh.
15
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,369
Huh!
16
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:42,542
Well! These are
new, since yesterday.
17
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,837
Well, I'm not
having such good dreams
18
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,464
so I'm doing this now.
19
00:00:48,172 --> 00:00:49,715
Uh, Drew?
20
00:00:49,715 --> 00:00:53,845
There's a fine line
between a hobby and psychosis.
21
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:57,599
And, uh, even if there wasn't,
this wouldn't be a hobby.
22
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:00,726
Hey, Drew.
23
00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:02,604
Why is your
bathtub filled with sand?
24
00:01:04,605 --> 00:01:07,358
It's not sand.
It's a desert battlefield.
25
00:01:07,428 --> 00:01:09,930
- Oh. Oh.
- Oh.
26
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,130
You know, Drew,
this isn't healthy.
27
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,930
It's been a long war.
28
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,200
- It's time to get some sleep.
- Yeah.
29
00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:17,540
Well...
30
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,370
...I guess now I see
the look on everyone's faces.
31
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,580
Maybe this is a little odd.
32
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:26,000
I think I really do miss Nicki.
33
00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:28,310
Yeah, that's a Roger, big dog.
34
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,250
Right now,
why don't you let us sing
35
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,700
a nice peaceful
song for you, huh?
36
00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:33,750
- Yeah.
- Come on.
37
00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:35,930
What am I? A baby? Gonna sing to
me and put me to sleep? Come on!
38
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,930
♪ Hold the pickles
Hold the lettuce ♪
39
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,630
♪ Special orders
don't upset us ♪
40
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:50,070
♪ All we ask is that you
Let us serve it your way ♪
41
00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:55,470
♪ Have it your way
Have it your way ♪
42
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:59,000
♪ Have it your way ♪
43
00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,930
Hey! Hey!
44
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,080
He fell asleep on
my hand. Get him off.
45
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:08,250
♪ Apples carrots
potatoes peas ♪
46
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,550
♪ Your mother says you've
got to have a lot of these ♪
47
00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,500
Ah!
48
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,430
Oh-oh!
49
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:19,900
♪ Mm-mm good
Mm-mm good ♪
50
00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:27,770
♪ That's what Campbell soups
are mm-mm... mmm ♪
51
00:02:29,693 --> 00:02:30,820
[theme song]
52
00:02:35,783 --> 00:02:38,702
♪ All this energy callin' me ♪
53
00:02:38,702 --> 00:02:41,872
♪ Back where it comes from ♪
54
00:02:41,872 --> 00:02:45,166
♪ It's such a crude attitude ♪
55
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:48,003
♪ It's back where it belongs ♪
56
00:02:48,003 --> 00:02:50,798
♪ All the little chicks
with the crimson lips ♪
57
00:02:50,798 --> 00:02:52,966
♪ Go Cleveland rocks ♪
58
00:02:52,966 --> 00:02:54,510
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
59
00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:57,971
♪ Livin' in sin
with a safety pin goin' ♪
60
00:02:57,971 --> 00:03:02,935
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
61
00:03:04,061 --> 00:03:05,771
[echoing]
Ohio!
62
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,191
[instrumental music]
63
00:03:17,825 --> 00:03:18,951
(Oswald)
'Oh, my God.'
64
00:03:20,244 --> 00:03:21,412
Buddy, what...
65
00:03:21,412 --> 00:03:22,496
Who did this to you?
66
00:03:23,747 --> 00:03:25,458
The lab monkeys
at DrugCo got out.
67
00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:30,171
Tried to make
me their girlfriend.
68
00:03:34,674 --> 00:03:35,967
I suppose it wasn't
that handsome monkey
69
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:38,595
you're always going on about.
70
00:03:38,595 --> 00:03:40,430
They've developed this new drug
to help
71
00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:43,017
senior citizens regain
their sex drive.
72
00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:47,104
Gave it to the monkeys.
73
00:03:47,104 --> 00:03:49,649
Next thing I know Bobo's trying
to bend me over a lab table.
74
00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:52,902
He didn't actually...
75
00:03:55,153 --> 00:03:57,823
No! No! No!
76
00:03:57,823 --> 00:03:59,784
I managed to make
myself look unattractive.
77
00:04:01,368 --> 00:04:03,495
And I'll never forget
their hoots and catcalls
78
00:04:03,495 --> 00:04:04,997
as I gathered up my things.
79
00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:10,085
I'm really sorry, buddy, I'm...
80
00:04:10,085 --> 00:04:11,336
Bunch of horny monkeys.
81
00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:12,880
[laughs]
82
00:04:16,425 --> 00:04:17,467
What're you doing?
83
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:19,094
Coughing.
84
00:04:19,094 --> 00:04:20,721
You're not coughin'.
85
00:04:20,721 --> 00:04:23,140
Coughin' up a lung
'cause I'm laughin' so hard.
86
00:04:23,140 --> 00:04:24,183
[laughs]
87
00:04:24,183 --> 00:04:25,768
Oh, that's really funny, huh?
88
00:04:25,768 --> 00:04:27,477
Well, it's not going to happen
again, I'll tell you that.
89
00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:29,312
Because I got
the sex drug right here
90
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,772
and it's going in the trash.
91
00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:33,024
[sniffs]
What're you workin' on?
92
00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:34,401
Oh, this is
green dye for our beer.
93
00:04:34,401 --> 00:04:35,736
You know for St. Paddy's day.
94
00:04:35,736 --> 00:04:37,196
Oh... you know what though?
95
00:04:37,196 --> 00:04:38,530
It's a little
light shade of green maybe
96
00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:39,907
maybe you should add
some more of that, uh...
97
00:04:39,907 --> 00:04:41,867
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh!
98
00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:43,451
Whoa, you know
what would've happened
99
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,663
if this sex drug had
gotten into the beer.
100
00:04:45,663 --> 00:04:47,372
- It might've changed color.
- Oh!
101
00:04:47,372 --> 00:04:50,793
I've been working all
morning on this green.
102
00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:52,503
Well, that was close. I'm
getting rid of this right now.
103
00:04:52,503 --> 00:04:53,587
Good thing.
104
00:04:56,589 --> 00:04:58,508
Good riddance.
Old people don't need more sex.
105
00:04:58,508 --> 00:05:00,302
They grunt
and groan enough as it is.
106
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:04,890
[cat meows]
107
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:08,060
[raven caws]
108
00:05:10,312 --> 00:05:11,313
[raven caws]
109
00:05:12,731 --> 00:05:14,066
[pecking]
110
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:16,902
[door opens]
111
00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:18,779
You know I don't want to jinx it
112
00:05:18,779 --> 00:05:21,240
but this maybe the best batch
of green beer we've ever made.
113
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,617
- Oh-oh. Hold on there, buddy.
- What?
114
00:05:25,118 --> 00:05:26,287
What you get?
115
00:05:28,414 --> 00:05:29,539
Forget something?
116
00:05:29,539 --> 00:05:31,374
- Oh, ho, ho, the lid.
- Yeah.
117
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:32,918
Good idea.
118
00:05:32,918 --> 00:05:34,503
- You can never be too safe.
- Uh.
119
00:05:34,503 --> 00:05:36,672
Hey, by the way,
what're you doing Friday night?
120
00:05:36,672 --> 00:05:38,049
Nothing.
You wanna do something?
121
00:05:38,049 --> 00:05:39,925
Oh, no, uh,
Bobo from DrugCo called.
122
00:05:39,925 --> 00:05:41,260
He wants to know if
you want to go see "Titanic?"
123
00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:43,345
That's real funny.
124
00:05:43,345 --> 00:05:46,056
[instrumental music]
125
00:05:46,056 --> 00:05:49,851
Well! This is a very
impressive resume, Mr. Holiday.
126
00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:51,395
Think you'd fit
in well in accounting.
127
00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:54,064
Got a good background,
good school, hey!
128
00:05:54,064 --> 00:05:55,274
It says here you're married.
129
00:05:55,274 --> 00:05:56,650
Yeah. Yeah, two months now.
130
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:57,735
That's great.
131
00:05:57,735 --> 00:05:59,361
I was almost married.
132
00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:01,989
It didn't work out but,
ah, what're you gonna do?
133
00:06:01,989 --> 00:06:03,615
So, three years at Macy's,
that's a good store.
134
00:06:03,615 --> 00:06:04,616
Yeah, I had a really
good time there--
135
00:06:04,616 --> 00:06:05,951
What's it with women anyway?
136
00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:07,578
One moment you're
going along smooth
137
00:06:07,578 --> 00:06:08,954
havin' a good time,
next thing you know "Bam!"
138
00:06:08,954 --> 00:06:10,498
Everybody's, uh, too fat.
139
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:15,920
Oh! Is this a test to see
how I handle awkward moments?
140
00:06:17,296 --> 00:06:19,047
No!
141
00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:21,550
Well, it'd be a real good one.
142
00:06:24,511 --> 00:06:26,972
Well, hey, looks like, uh
143
00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:28,056
you're the kind of guy
we need for this job.
144
00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:30,934
How'd you stop loving someone?
145
00:06:30,934 --> 00:06:32,561
- Uh... I--
- What do you do?
146
00:06:32,561 --> 00:06:33,854
- Lemme go find out.
- Want see a picture of her?
147
00:06:33,854 --> 00:06:34,938
Name's Nicki.
She's really nice.
148
00:06:34,938 --> 00:06:35,981
Yeah.
149
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:37,858
I'm usually not this pathetic.
150
00:06:37,858 --> 00:06:40,402
Let me guess. Practicin'
your new pick up lines?
151
00:06:41,779 --> 00:06:43,321
It's better than yours.
152
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,491
Kiss me or you won't get
your seeing eye dog back.
153
00:06:48,035 --> 00:06:49,953
So you're still
gonna be the company tool
154
00:06:49,953 --> 00:06:52,247
and testify
against me in court today?
155
00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:53,999
Yes, I am.
Yuck of the Irish.
156
00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:59,087
For three reasons. Number one,
Wick never harassed you.
157
00:06:59,087 --> 00:07:01,798
Number two, it's a court of law,
I intend to tell the truth.
158
00:07:01,798 --> 00:07:04,551
Number three, hate I you.
159
00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:05,802
It's a puzzle. Work on it.
160
00:07:05,802 --> 00:07:07,679
[chuckles]
161
00:07:07,679 --> 00:07:09,556
It doesn't matter 'cause
my attorney's gonna be
162
00:07:09,556 --> 00:07:12,101
all over you like flies on Drew.
163
00:07:14,311 --> 00:07:17,231
Face it, Mimi. You can't
good face on a bad situation.
164
00:07:17,231 --> 00:07:19,358
Which is a sign that should be
on every mirror in your house.
165
00:07:22,945 --> 00:07:25,698
So you think you can't be
rattled on the stand, huh?
166
00:07:25,698 --> 00:07:27,031
- What's your name?
- Drew Carey.
167
00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:28,366
Did you see
Wick jump on top of me?
168
00:07:28,366 --> 00:07:29,576
- Yeah--
- Yes or no, please?
169
00:07:29,576 --> 00:07:30,869
- Yes.
- Did you hear me yell for help?
170
00:07:30,869 --> 00:07:31,870
- Yeah, but you were--
- Thank you.
171
00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:33,247
No further questions.
172
00:07:33,247 --> 00:07:34,498
This little witness can go
173
00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:38,835
wee-wee-wee all the way home.
174
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,671
Happy St. Patrick's Day, Mimi.
175
00:07:40,671 --> 00:07:43,132
Don't tell me.
Make up or fungus?
176
00:07:44,383 --> 00:07:45,634
[laughs]
177
00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,428
Pretty cocky
for a guy on the first day
178
00:07:47,428 --> 00:07:49,220
of his sexual harassment trial.
179
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:52,016
I have nothing
to fear. I'm innocent.
180
00:07:52,016 --> 00:07:55,728
Well, that doesn't mean squat
in an American courtroom.
181
00:07:55,728 --> 00:07:59,356
I'm also attractive, charismatic
and I have a charming accent.
182
00:07:59,356 --> 00:08:01,901
Squat, squat and bloody squat.
183
00:08:03,985 --> 00:08:05,779
You couldn't
be more wrong, Mimi.
184
00:08:05,779 --> 00:08:07,990
She's right. They'll
hate me because I'm a dandy.
185
00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:11,868
If you're testimony
doesn't save me, Carey
186
00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:14,329
I could lose my
job and be deported.
187
00:08:14,329 --> 00:08:15,956
I'm gonna do my best, sir, but
you know there's worse things
188
00:08:15,956 --> 00:08:17,499
than going back to England.
189
00:08:17,499 --> 00:08:20,335
You don't understand.
I...can't go back.
190
00:08:20,335 --> 00:08:21,712
Why not?
191
00:08:21,712 --> 00:08:23,714
You know how bad
the taxes are over there?
192
00:08:23,714 --> 00:08:25,174
Well, I ran over a vicar.
193
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,595
Serves you right for driving
on the wrong side of the road.
194
00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:32,180
Wasn't even on a road.
195
00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:34,016
I had to race
through a field to get to him.
196
00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:37,519
Carey. Wick.
197
00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:40,022
It's time to circle the wagons.
198
00:08:40,022 --> 00:08:42,691
Oh, my God!
She's reliving her childhood.
199
00:08:45,735 --> 00:08:47,654
No, you twit.
200
00:08:47,654 --> 00:08:49,656
It's an expression.
201
00:08:49,656 --> 00:08:52,910
I need to talk to you about
Bobeck's suit against the store.
202
00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:57,748
You don't realize
how important you are, Carey.
203
00:08:58,916 --> 00:09:00,542
Wow!
204
00:09:00,542 --> 00:09:02,836
You know you have no idea
how those few simple words--
205
00:09:02,836 --> 00:09:04,295
Stop dwelling on it.
206
00:09:04,295 --> 00:09:05,422
Can't take it back.
Said I was important.
207
00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:06,882
Stop it.
208
00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:08,759
'Wick here
has us in a situation'
209
00:09:08,759 --> 00:09:10,677
that could cost the store
two million dollars.
210
00:09:10,677 --> 00:09:15,599
Your testimony is the only thing
standing between us and ruin.
211
00:09:16,809 --> 00:09:18,560
Ah, ruin.
212
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,728
So, we meet again.
213
00:09:21,646 --> 00:09:24,149
Carey, stay cool on the stand.
214
00:09:24,149 --> 00:09:26,944
Defend the store
and don't crumble.
215
00:09:26,944 --> 00:09:29,946
And I'll consider
you executive material.
216
00:09:29,946 --> 00:09:34,535
Blow it and the company
will be 210 pounds lighter.
217
00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:38,705
Well, the good news,
it ain't much
218
00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:40,291
she thinks I weigh 210 pounds.
219
00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:44,253
[instrumental music]
220
00:09:45,879 --> 00:09:48,465
Got some Green Buzz Beer
here for you, Paul.
221
00:09:48,465 --> 00:09:50,675
Colored it myself and this year
222
00:09:50,675 --> 00:09:52,260
you can wash out the
green dye with soap and water.
223
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:54,846
[bottles clanking]
224
00:09:54,846 --> 00:09:56,681
Hey, Kate. You're Irish.
225
00:09:56,681 --> 00:09:58,683
What's St. Patrick's Day
about anyway?
226
00:09:58,683 --> 00:10:00,435
In my family, about
three hours of consciousness.
227
00:10:00,435 --> 00:10:01,562
Ooh!
228
00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:06,524
(Kate)
'Hey! Drew Carey's
back at The Warsaw.'
229
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:08,861
If he sees his shadow, it's
six more months of drinkin'.
230
00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:13,073
Been away from The Warsaw
for a week before.
231
00:10:13,073 --> 00:10:14,282
Remember sixth grade
summer camp?
232
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:16,410
Yeah!
233
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:18,579
I'm just glad
you finally, um...
234
00:10:18,579 --> 00:10:20,205
Man, I don't know what you guys
235
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:21,832
did to this beer
but do it again.
236
00:10:21,832 --> 00:10:23,792
Yeah, it's just green dye
but it's pretty good.
237
00:10:23,792 --> 00:10:25,335
Mm.
238
00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:26,920
Well, what made you
decide to come by?
239
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,588
I'm celebrating.
240
00:10:28,588 --> 00:10:30,715
You know the empty void
in my life that Nicki left?
241
00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:32,216
It's all filled
up now with fear and dread.
242
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,219
- 'Oh.'
- 'Oh.'
243
00:10:34,219 --> 00:10:37,096
That's 'cause you haven't
taken your medicine for a week.
244
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:38,723
Oh, no, you know I better not.
245
00:10:38,723 --> 00:10:40,559
I...I have
to testify in about an hour.
246
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:41,977
Mrs. Louder told me
if I get even one
247
00:10:41,977 --> 00:10:43,228
little thing wrong,
I'm gonna be fired.
248
00:10:45,605 --> 00:10:47,649
That's not fair.
249
00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:50,235
Is anybody else's
chair vibrating?
250
00:10:52,946 --> 00:10:55,949
It's, uh, probably
just a truck passing by.
251
00:10:55,949 --> 00:10:57,826
They should go by more often.
252
00:11:00,329 --> 00:11:01,663
Don't worry, you'll
do fine in court, buddy.
253
00:11:01,663 --> 00:11:02,664
You know why?
254
00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:03,665
'Cause you got a secret weapon.
255
00:11:03,665 --> 00:11:05,041
What's that?
256
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:07,669
A dopey look that says,
"I'm too dumb to lie."
257
00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:08,879
What're you talkin' about?
258
00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:09,962
Hey, there it is.
259
00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:12,007
There!
260
00:11:12,007 --> 00:11:13,342
Wow! That was a big truck.
261
00:11:15,385 --> 00:11:17,262
Yeah, I think
I felt that one, too.
262
00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:21,767
Look, Drew, I sex what we're
saying is breast tell the truth.
263
00:11:25,645 --> 00:11:27,064
I guess,
it's just that I...
264
00:11:32,069 --> 00:11:34,613
Just worried that they're
going to twist my words around.
265
00:11:34,613 --> 00:11:36,824
Don't worry, Drew.
They can't shake you.
266
00:11:38,659 --> 00:11:42,788
Here's to Drew
and his rock solid testimony.
267
00:11:44,914 --> 00:11:47,250
I guess just one sip,
you know, for the toast.
268
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:48,835
- Yeah, cheers.
- Cheers.
269
00:11:48,835 --> 00:11:50,295
[bottles clanking]
270
00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:55,258
- Hah.
- Whoa!
271
00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:56,635
[laughing]
272
00:11:56,635 --> 00:11:57,803
Haven't had
any lunch and haven't had
273
00:11:57,803 --> 00:11:58,803
one of these in a week.
274
00:11:58,803 --> 00:11:59,847
[laughs]
275
00:12:05,477 --> 00:12:06,562
You know what I'd
like to hear now?
276
00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:08,104
- 'No.'
- Some Barry White.
277
00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:09,648
(in unison)
Oh, yeah!
278
00:12:13,151 --> 00:12:14,069
(male #1)
'Now, Mr. Wick, for
the record, are you saying'
279
00:12:14,069 --> 00:12:15,403
that you did not force yourself
280
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,072
upon my client on
January the 14th?
281
00:12:17,906 --> 00:12:20,534
Yes.
282
00:12:20,534 --> 00:12:23,995
Then can you tell us in your own
words exactly what did happen?
283
00:12:23,995 --> 00:12:25,663
Yes. Absolutely.
284
00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:26,915
I...
285
00:12:30,835 --> 00:12:31,920
[crying]
'Terribly sorry.'
286
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,671
What I meant to say was...
287
00:12:33,671 --> 00:12:36,257
[crying]
288
00:12:36,257 --> 00:12:39,094
This is a travesty of justice.
289
00:12:39,094 --> 00:12:42,180
Oh, puhleeze, nobody
here is buying this crap.
290
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:44,016
- Are they?
- I am.
291
00:12:45,976 --> 00:12:48,979
Quiet in the court and
Ms. Bobeck for the last time
292
00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:51,731
sit down or I'll have
the bailiff show you your seat.
293
00:12:51,731 --> 00:12:53,525
Show you my seat.
294
00:12:55,318 --> 00:12:57,987
The witness would
please respond to the question.
295
00:12:57,987 --> 00:12:59,489
To the best of my recollection
296
00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:02,242
and I'm only going
to say this once.
297
00:13:02,242 --> 00:13:06,955
I am blind! Oh!
298
00:13:06,955 --> 00:13:10,959
The stress. It's caused
a state of blindness.
299
00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:12,585
You don't have to do this.
300
00:13:12,585 --> 00:13:14,087
We have a law in this country
301
00:13:14,087 --> 00:13:16,131
where you don't have
to testify against yourself.
302
00:13:16,131 --> 00:13:18,633
It's called
"The Fifth Amendment."
303
00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:21,511
Oh, well,
I'll take one of those then.
304
00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:24,097
Don't mind though.
Blind man coming through.
305
00:13:24,097 --> 00:13:26,641
Blind man coming through.
306
00:13:26,641 --> 00:13:28,518
Oh, thank you, Mimi.
307
00:13:28,518 --> 00:13:31,103
I hope one day
we could put this behind us.
308
00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:32,564
You...
309
00:13:32,564 --> 00:13:34,816
(female #1)
'Court calls Mimi Bobeck.'
310
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,158
By the way,
if I win this
311
00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:46,286
everyone here gets
a brand new Jetta.
312
00:13:48,246 --> 00:13:50,082
The jury will
disregard that comment.
313
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:54,961
Remember you're
still under oath.
314
00:13:54,961 --> 00:13:57,255
Now, Ms. Bobeck,
please tell the court exactly
315
00:13:57,255 --> 00:13:59,674
what happened on January 14th.
316
00:13:59,674 --> 00:14:01,175
Let's see.
317
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,761
I car-pooled to work that day.
318
00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:06,431
Weird thing was even though
there were five of us crammed
319
00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:10,393
in there, there was still plenty
of legroom front and rear.
320
00:14:10,393 --> 00:14:12,979
I just don't recall
what kind of car it was.
321
00:14:12,979 --> 00:14:15,148
Oh! Wait! It was a Jetta.
322
00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:18,360
The plaintiff is dismissed.
323
00:14:20,112 --> 00:14:22,489
Mr. Firestein, unless
you can produce at least one
324
00:14:22,489 --> 00:14:24,782
credible witness, I'm gonna
declare this a mistrial.
325
00:14:24,782 --> 00:14:27,785
Very well, Your Honor, I call
to the stand Mr. Drew Carey.
326
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:28,996
Bailiff.
327
00:14:38,255 --> 00:14:40,007
Mr. Carey?
328
00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:43,844
I got to do this
thing, uh, I'll call ya.
329
00:14:46,888 --> 00:14:49,850
♪ Got to have it ♪
330
00:14:54,854 --> 00:14:58,817
Don't screw up, Carey.
I'm watching you.
331
00:14:58,817 --> 00:15:00,444
So you like to watch, huh?
332
00:15:02,904 --> 00:15:05,157
I mean, I understand.
Yes, ma'am.
333
00:15:05,157 --> 00:15:06,241
Got it under control.
334
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:07,367
[clears throat]
335
00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:18,462
Do you swear to tell the truth
336
00:15:18,462 --> 00:15:20,213
the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?
337
00:15:20,213 --> 00:15:23,091
Hey, leather. Nice.
338
00:15:23,091 --> 00:15:25,052
[instrumental music]
339
00:15:32,642 --> 00:15:35,520
Excuse me, have you seen my
pager? I think I left it here.
340
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,563
Nope.
341
00:15:40,191 --> 00:15:41,526
I'm sorry. Are you sure?
342
00:15:41,526 --> 00:15:44,071
- 'Cause I, I'm certain--
- I said, no.
343
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,080
Oswald, it's me.
344
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,832
The minute you get this message,
meet me at the house.
345
00:15:55,832 --> 00:15:57,167
I don't care where
you are or what you're doing.
346
00:16:22,317 --> 00:16:24,527
Well, we're almost
done with your physical.
347
00:16:24,527 --> 00:16:26,071
Just one more thing left to do.
348
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:33,537
Nobody enjoys this
that's why we save it for last.
349
00:16:33,537 --> 00:16:34,996
Okay, if you'll stand up for me.
350
00:16:36,789 --> 00:16:38,916
Turn your head and cough.
351
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,961
Whoa, well, I see
somebody does enjoy this.
352
00:16:49,469 --> 00:16:51,388
I thought it'd be easier
to get to him that way.
353
00:16:55,725 --> 00:16:57,769
Now, Mr. Carey, I'd like you
to listen to the testimony
354
00:16:57,769 --> 00:17:00,772
of my client and tell me
if this is what you saw?
355
00:17:00,772 --> 00:17:02,023
(Firestein)
'Court reporter, please.'
356
00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:06,236
"He touched me.
357
00:17:06,236 --> 00:17:07,778
"He came up behind me.
358
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:10,531
"He reached up
and touched my breast.
359
00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:12,575
"Then, he pressed
himself against me.
360
00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:17,205
"I could feel... his
excitement growing.
361
00:17:17,205 --> 00:17:19,165
"That's when he began
to kiss the back of my neck.
362
00:17:19,165 --> 00:17:22,043
Over and over and over."
363
00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:23,837
Is that the way
you recall it, Mr. Carey?
364
00:17:25,255 --> 00:17:26,589
Uh, you know,
I know this important.
365
00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:28,091
And I want to make
sure I get this right.
366
00:17:28,091 --> 00:17:31,761
So, uh, could you
read that one more time...
367
00:17:31,761 --> 00:17:35,015
Once is quite enough, Mr. Carey.
Please respond to the question.
368
00:17:35,015 --> 00:17:36,182
Right, right.
369
00:17:36,182 --> 00:17:37,391
I'm in court for a reason.
370
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:40,019
Sorry, kind of hard to focus.
371
00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:42,063
Okay, it was daytime.
I was in my office.
372
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:46,777
Your Honor, is it
hot in here or is it just you?
373
00:17:49,529 --> 00:17:51,197
Excuse me?
374
00:17:51,197 --> 00:17:54,534
I'm sorry, I just... drifted
there for a second, Your Honor.
375
00:17:54,534 --> 00:17:56,620
Your On Her.
376
00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:00,081
On Her.
377
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:03,042
Are you alright, Mr. Carey?
378
00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:04,377
Alright? I'll tell
you who's alright.
379
00:18:04,377 --> 00:18:07,171
That bailiff.
That's who's alright.
380
00:18:07,171 --> 00:18:08,756
Wow! Damn, I don't know
why I'm saying these things.
381
00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:10,550
I'm in court for a reason.
382
00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:13,511
To tell the truth, the whole
truth even if it's not pretty.
383
00:18:13,511 --> 00:18:15,847
But... you're pretty and
she's pretty, she's pretty.
384
00:18:15,847 --> 00:18:17,098
He's not bad,
I'd like to see you
385
00:18:17,098 --> 00:18:18,099
three you
kind of get together.
386
00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:19,768
Mr. Carey
387
00:18:21,352 --> 00:18:22,854
You're about to
be found in contempt.
388
00:18:22,854 --> 00:18:24,147
You're right, I'm sorry. I...
389
00:18:24,147 --> 00:18:25,815
I obviously
can't control myself.
390
00:18:25,815 --> 00:18:27,108
Why don't you put the
cuffs on me and take me away?
391
00:18:27,108 --> 00:18:28,484
You why don't you
give her a hand?
392
00:18:28,484 --> 00:18:29,861
(Judge Oberman)
'That's it, bailiff.'
393
00:18:29,861 --> 00:18:30,903
I don't know what
you did to me, Mimi
394
00:18:30,903 --> 00:18:32,572
but you're gonna regret this.
395
00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:33,990
If you don't tell the truth,
you're gonna regret this
396
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:37,869
the rest of
your... hot voluptuous life.
397
00:18:37,869 --> 00:18:39,037
Oh, my God!
398
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:48,421
If we lose this case,
Carey, you lose your job.
399
00:18:48,421 --> 00:18:52,259
I'm sorry, Mrs. Louder.
I'm so so sorry.
400
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,017
Carey, are you moving your hips?
401
00:19:01,017 --> 00:19:03,186
I just want to say,
there's a party in my pants.
402
00:19:03,186 --> 00:19:04,604
No cover for the ladies.
403
00:19:06,314 --> 00:19:07,816
Will the
defendant and the plaintiff
404
00:19:07,816 --> 00:19:11,277
in this sideshow please approach
the bench with counsel?
405
00:19:11,277 --> 00:19:12,987
Your one material
witness is obviously
406
00:19:12,987 --> 00:19:16,115
enjoying the
first day of spring.
407
00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:18,492
Unless either one of you
can produce another witness
408
00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:21,078
or some compelling evidence,
I'm gonna dismiss this case.
409
00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:22,955
Anyone?
410
00:19:22,955 --> 00:19:24,165
I had a feeling.
411
00:19:24,165 --> 00:19:26,709
Case dismissed.
412
00:19:26,709 --> 00:19:28,003
[clears throat]
413
00:19:31,005 --> 00:19:33,341
Well, it's over.
414
00:19:33,341 --> 00:19:35,969
Guess you're sorry
you never got your money.
415
00:19:35,969 --> 00:19:37,304
It was never about money.
416
00:19:37,304 --> 00:19:38,805
All I ever wanted was you.
417
00:19:40,598 --> 00:19:41,808
I'm sorry, Mimi.
418
00:19:43,059 --> 00:19:44,936
Well, "sorry" just
doesn't cut it.
419
00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:47,897
You took my feelings
and stomped all over them.
420
00:19:47,897 --> 00:19:50,525
Worse than that you
made me suspicious of men.
421
00:19:50,525 --> 00:19:52,569
You made the butterfly
go back into its cocoon
422
00:19:52,569 --> 00:19:54,362
and that makes
the butterfly angry!
423
00:19:56,406 --> 00:19:58,366
Just gonna go back to work.
424
00:19:58,366 --> 00:19:59,868
Clean out my desk,
I'll be out of there
425
00:19:59,868 --> 00:20:02,328
by the time you get back.
426
00:20:02,328 --> 00:20:05,957
Wait, uh, I was hoping you
would come back and work for me.
427
00:20:05,957 --> 00:20:07,334
You yankin' me?
428
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:11,212
No. I need you.
429
00:20:11,212 --> 00:20:13,756
'You're the best secretary
I ever had.'
430
00:20:13,756 --> 00:20:15,841
Even after all of this?
431
00:20:15,841 --> 00:20:17,718
Yes.
432
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:21,180
Oh, man, I knew you
were hot for me.
433
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,973
No! No! No!
434
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:25,851
I-I-I respect you
as a professional.
435
00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:27,270
Now what do you say?
436
00:20:27,270 --> 00:20:28,813
Fine.
437
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:31,399
- Strictly professional.
- Great!
438
00:20:31,399 --> 00:20:34,152
What do you say we go down
to The Warsaw and reconcile
439
00:20:34,152 --> 00:20:36,738
our differences over a green
St. Patrick's Day Buzz Beer?
440
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:40,408
Maybe it'll loosen you up.
441
00:20:40,408 --> 00:20:41,868
No, I don't think so.
442
00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:43,620
[instrumental music]
443
00:20:46,414 --> 00:20:47,999
Alright, now we know
there's some kind of link
444
00:20:47,999 --> 00:20:49,959
between the sex drug
from DrugCo and the green beer.
445
00:20:49,959 --> 00:20:52,879
Hm. My guess
is a raven and a dog.
446
00:20:52,879 --> 00:20:53,880
Makes sense.
447
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:56,966
Excuse me, everyone.
448
00:20:56,966 --> 00:20:58,634
Uh, anybody was here last night.
449
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:01,888
Uh, we have some things
you may have left behind.
450
00:21:01,888 --> 00:21:04,224
One half pair
of edible underwear.
451
00:21:09,103 --> 00:21:12,440
And these were together, uh,
pair of sunglasses, an Ascot
452
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,818
and a copy of "The Letters
of Griffin and Sabine."
453
00:21:22,617 --> 00:21:25,077
Guys, I hate to
tell you but it's not over.
454
00:21:25,077 --> 00:21:26,913
I've been watching
the monkeys and apparently
455
00:21:26,913 --> 00:21:28,873
the sex drug
has an after effect.
456
00:21:28,873 --> 00:21:31,834
Oh, no. What?
457
00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:34,503
Apparently the
sex drug has an after effect.
458
00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:37,089
Oh, no, what?
459
00:21:37,089 --> 00:21:39,884
Apparently the sex drug
has an after effect.
460
00:21:39,884 --> 00:21:42,261
Oh, no, what?
461
00:21:42,261 --> 00:21:45,306
Apparently the sex drug
has an after effect.
462
00:21:45,306 --> 00:21:47,767
Oh, no, what?
463
00:21:47,767 --> 00:21:49,561
[laughs]
Apparently the sex drug...
31538
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof