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1
00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:07,257
I'm proud of that one.
2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,008
I was on the top ten
percent at the
3
00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:11,552
Harvard School of Psychiatry.
4
00:00:11,552 --> 00:00:13,512
Yeah, I got one
of these at the carnival.
5
00:00:13,512 --> 00:00:14,973
All I had to do
is shoot a duck.
6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,977
Look, Miss Bobeck,
if you wanna hire me
7
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,312
to be your expert witness
in the sexual harassment case
8
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,564
I suggest we get started.
9
00:00:23,564 --> 00:00:25,816
Alright, alright.
It's real simple.
10
00:00:25,816 --> 00:00:28,403
All you got to do is, say that
I'm damage and then act like
11
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,154
two million bucks for all
the pain and suffering
12
00:00:30,154 --> 00:00:31,906
inflicted by my boss Mr. Wick.
13
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,494
Bet you got some real good
stories about crazy people, huh?
14
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,622
I'm working on one right now.
15
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,167
So, tell me in your own words
16
00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:45,085
what exactly your boss did?
17
00:00:45,085 --> 00:00:48,089
Well, we're gonna make believe
that he was sexually
18
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,716
harassing me and then
I was gonna sue the store
19
00:00:50,716 --> 00:00:53,469
for big bucks and then
we're gonna split the dough.
20
00:00:53,469 --> 00:00:55,387
So, what you're saying
is no actual
21
00:00:55,387 --> 00:00:57,681
sexual harassment took place?
22
00:00:57,681 --> 00:01:00,268
Well, I grab him a couple
of good ones before he got away.
23
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,939
So, your boss never actually
harassed you?
24
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,899
He knew that I had
feeling for him and
25
00:01:06,899 --> 00:01:10,194
he used my feelings to-to get
me to go on with that scam
26
00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:12,780
and then he dumped me
for another woman.
27
00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:15,282
And it was your broken heart
that caused you to try
28
00:01:15,282 --> 00:01:17,077
and mask your pain with that...
29
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,038
...garish makeup?
30
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,584
If by garish, you mean pretty?
31
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,670
And I hope you do.
32
00:01:29,463 --> 00:01:33,092
Then, no. I've always
looked like this.
33
00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,637
Would you be interested
in being case study?
34
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,389
Oh, if you wanna go out with me
35
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:41,350
just say you wanna
go out with me.
36
00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:42,644
[clears throat]
37
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,854
I'm sorry, I-I,
uh, I can't, uh...
38
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,273
I can't go out with,
uh... patients.
39
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,066
You took an oath.
40
00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:52,111
Okay.
41
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:56,115
Listen, you say I'm ruined for
other man and collect the check.
42
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:58,076
Are you in or are you out?
43
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,621
Ms. Bobeck, you're obviously
a fascinating woman, uh...
44
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,456
Let me sleep on it
and I'll, uh...
45
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,291
...I'll get back to you.
46
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,417
Okay.
47
00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:10,087
Oh, by the way
48
00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:11,673
if you meet anybody with
multiple
49
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:14,175
personalities you might wanna
borrow one!
50
00:02:18,303 --> 00:02:20,348
Finally! But you're too late.
51
00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:24,227
She's society's problem now.
52
00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:27,981
[theme music]
53
00:02:32,693 --> 00:02:36,072
♪ All this energy callin' me ♪
54
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,867
♪ Back where it comes from ♪
55
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:42,203
♪ It's such a crude attitude ♪
56
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:45,206
♪ It's back where it belongs ♪
57
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,959
♪ All the little chicks
with their crimson lips ♪
58
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,961
♪ Go Cleveland rocks ♪
59
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,671
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
60
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,841
♪ Livin' in sin
with a safety pin goin' ♪
61
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:58,302
♪ Cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks ♪
62
00:02:58,302 --> 00:03:01,096
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
63
00:03:01,096 --> 00:03:02,182
[echoing]
Ohio!
64
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,771
(Drew)
Oh, I got a valentine.
65
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,565
Ah, it's from my mom.
66
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,275
Some son you are.
67
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,943
This the woman
who gave birth to you.
68
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:17,279
And after seeing she still
claimed you from the nursery.
69
00:03:17,279 --> 00:03:18,865
The least you can do
is open her card.
70
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,032
Oh.
71
00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:21,492
[chuckles]
72
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,952
Thanks.
I usually have Oswald open 'em.
73
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:27,874
Oh, "Here hoping you have a
wonderful Valentine's Day.
74
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,542
"Dad's having prostate problems.
75
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,420
You might wanna get
your jobbie checked."
76
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:37,383
Hey! There's a Valentine's
recipe on the back.
77
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,469
Oh! High fiber.
Good for your jobbie.
78
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,639
You know this would be great
for the Valentine's diner
79
00:03:43,639 --> 00:03:46,600
that, uh, Oswald and I are
cooking for Nicki and Kate.
80
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,311
Oh, man, women get all mushy
when guys cook for 'em.
81
00:03:49,311 --> 00:03:51,522
Hey, can I get in on this?
Pinky would love it.
82
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,192
Are you still dating
the guinea pig girl?
83
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,235
Guinea pig girl
is demeaning, Drew.
84
00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:58,028
She test experimental
drugs for DrugCo.
85
00:03:58,028 --> 00:03:59,322
She no different
than you or me.
86
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,865
Yeah, except we don't
crave cheese
87
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,075
every time we hear a bell.
88
00:04:03,408 --> 00:04:05,036
[bell dings]
89
00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:09,039
Pizza's ready.
90
00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:10,083
[doorbell rings]
91
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,377
Confused by the second bell
92
00:04:13,377 --> 00:04:17,006
our subject is paralyzed
by indecision.
93
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:19,133
What if there's a bigger pizza
behind the door?
94
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,304
[grunts]
95
00:04:27,391 --> 00:04:29,018
- Oh!
- It's Officer Barker.
96
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,686
Can I ask you few questions?
97
00:04:30,686 --> 00:04:32,146
- Yeah. Come on in.
- 'Thanks.'
98
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,984
I'm, uh, checking out
some suspicious noises
99
00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:37,985
that were heard in
the neighborhood between
100
00:04:37,985 --> 00:04:40,696
8:00 and 11 p.m.
last night.
101
00:04:40,696 --> 00:04:42,281
Oh, well...
102
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:45,743
You know these walls
are paper thin and...
103
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:47,828
Well, sometimes my coughs
sound like I'm passing gas.
104
00:04:47,828 --> 00:04:49,121
[chuckles]
105
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,873
[coughing]
106
00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:55,211
I'm talking about the incident
down the street at the Embers.
107
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,212
What incidents?
108
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,755
Little domestic problem.
109
00:04:57,755 --> 00:05:00,007
Mrs. Ember chopped up
her husband with a meat cleaver.
110
00:05:00,007 --> 00:05:02,635
Oh, my God.
They were such a nice couple.
111
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,679
Last time I saw her
she was holding his hand.
112
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,681
That's what she was doing
when we picked her up.
113
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,601
Look, officer,
this may not be related
114
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,561
but I was watching
Drew's house the other night.
115
00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:14,813
Mrs. Ember came over
and borrowed an axe
116
00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:17,483
a sheet and a whole bunch
of garbage bags.
117
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:18,985
And here's the weird part...
118
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,236
...some sugar.
119
00:05:22,154 --> 00:05:24,198
You're gonna have to come down
and give a statement tomorrow.
120
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,449
The station
is just down the street--
121
00:05:25,449 --> 00:05:26,826
Yeah, yeah,
I know where it is.
122
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,327
Right.
123
00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:30,538
Thanks.
124
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,790
Hey, officer. Hey, Drew,
I heard about your neighbors.
125
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,084
I mean I just saw Mrs. Ember
yesterday when I delivered that
126
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:38,796
extra large freezer and
all that surgical equipment.
127
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,464
You're gonna have to come down
and give a statement tomorrow.
128
00:05:40,464 --> 00:05:41,798
The station
is just down the street--
129
00:05:41,798 --> 00:05:42,967
- Yeah, I know where it is.
- Right.
130
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,760
Yes.
131
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,388
Boy, horrible news and
good news all in the same day.
132
00:05:48,555 --> 00:05:49,765
What are you talking about?
133
00:05:49,765 --> 00:05:51,016
Oh, Kate and I
are moving in together.
134
00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:52,060
Tomorrow.
135
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,564
You what?
You're moving in with Kate?
136
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,149
Yeah... aren't we skipping
a little step here?
137
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,274
Oh, like what?
138
00:05:59,274 --> 00:06:02,444
Like discussing it with Drew.
139
00:06:02,444 --> 00:06:04,655
Why should we talk
about it with you?
140
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,698
'Cause I care about you, man.
141
00:06:06,698 --> 00:06:08,075
Didn't you hear
about the neighbors?
142
00:06:08,075 --> 00:06:09,534
You're moving in
with a wrong person.
143
00:06:09,534 --> 00:06:10,828
The next thing you know,
I'm chasing my dog around
144
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,205
the yard looking for your head.
145
00:06:15,749 --> 00:06:17,126
What...
146
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,255
What's the big deal? I mean
we've been dating for months.
147
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,631
And don't worry, big guy.
148
00:06:22,631 --> 00:06:23,841
I'll be paying
my half for the rent
149
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:25,467
until you find another roommate.
150
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:27,970
Hmh. And who's gonna pay for
my emotional abandonment, hmm?
151
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,557
- What?
- I'm just kidding.
152
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,058
- I'm happy for you.
- Oh.
153
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:35,561
I'm the happiest SOB
you'll ever walk out on.
154
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,734
I can't believe this.
155
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,028
It's, it's too soon
to move in together.
156
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,529
Ahh, you're just freaking out
157
00:06:45,529 --> 00:06:48,699
'cause you're not ready
to move in with Nicki yet.
158
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:51,535
This has nothing to do
with me and Kate.
159
00:06:51,535 --> 00:06:52,912
You mean Nicki?
160
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,872
I said Nicki.
161
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:57,041
Oh, yeah, you did. I'm sorry.
162
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,959
Yeah, so, what I'm telling you
is you're going way too fast.
163
00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:00,794
Y-you got to slow it down.
164
00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:02,254
Like-like me and Kate do.
165
00:07:02,254 --> 00:07:04,673
That time I heard Kate.
166
00:07:04,673 --> 00:07:05,800
Of course, you did,
she's right there.
167
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,427
Oh, yeah, ho, ho.
My fault.
168
00:07:10,178 --> 00:07:12,264
Oswald, I'm so glad
you're moving out of here.
169
00:07:12,264 --> 00:07:14,016
That's the most
disgusting bathroom
170
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,601
I've ever seen in my life.
171
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,060
Didn't you guys ever clean it?
172
00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:19,188
We would but the bacteria
ate our sponge.
173
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,526
Hey, Drew, did you pack
my stuffed animals?
174
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,027
There in the truck
with the princess phone
175
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,153
on the glass unicorn.
176
00:07:26,153 --> 00:07:28,072
Oh.
177
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:31,742
Finally, my place is gonna look
like a woman lives there.
178
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,494
Okay, ready to roll.
179
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,039
What-what's that?
180
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,833
It's my pet, parakeet.
181
00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,878
Oh, little guy can really
hold his breath, can't he?
182
00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:45,297
He's stuffed.
183
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:46,507
Problem.
184
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,175
That thing gives me the creeps.
185
00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:49,927
- He's my pet. He's coming.
- No, he's not.
186
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,136
He's coming. Case closed.
187
00:07:51,136 --> 00:07:52,846
Let's ask him. You wanna come?
188
00:07:52,846 --> 00:07:54,098
- Nothing.
- He's shy.
189
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,057
Case closed. He's coming.
190
00:07:56,057 --> 00:07:57,768
I don't want this
damn thing in my house.
191
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,437
- Lewis, you take it.
- I don't want it.
192
00:08:00,437 --> 00:08:01,814
[glass shattering]
193
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,192
I can't believe you
just did that.
194
00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:07,778
- It was an accident.
- You liar.
195
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,947
Is this what it's gonna be like
when you move in?
196
00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:12,116
Yeah, if you throw everything
I love out the window.
197
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,203
Is this how you gonna treat
our children?
198
00:08:16,828 --> 00:08:19,624
If you keep 'em stuffed
in a glass case, yes!
199
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,044
Oh, look, Paulie wants
an ambulance.
200
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,004
Boy, did you hear that?
201
00:08:26,004 --> 00:08:27,339
They haven't even moved
in together.
202
00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:29,299
They're already
at each other's throats.
203
00:08:29,299 --> 00:08:31,385
So, this might not work out.
204
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,304
Dare I dream.
205
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,389
I need to go blow up his doll.
206
00:08:37,891 --> 00:08:39,977
Uh, she's gone.
207
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,478
Are you okay?
208
00:08:41,478 --> 00:08:44,147
I can't believe
it ended that way, I mean...
209
00:08:44,147 --> 00:08:45,607
...one minute we were yelling
at each other
210
00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:47,151
and next minute it's over.
211
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:48,694
I-I never told you this
212
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,903
when you were going out
'cause you'd have beat
213
00:08:49,903 --> 00:08:51,697
the crap out of me, but...
214
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:55,117
...you-you guys were totally
wrong for each other.
215
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,702
Oh, you always thought that, huh?
216
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,537
Yeah, well, you know,
it was uh...
217
00:08:58,537 --> 00:09:00,247
...you were lonely
and she was convenient
218
00:09:00,247 --> 00:09:01,373
you know,
you hopped in the bed together
219
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:02,875
you thought
it was a relationship.
220
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,668
I mean, I don't want
to sound crasp
221
00:09:04,668 --> 00:09:06,462
but you were probably thinking
with little Oswald instead of...
222
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,007
Hey, when you said, it was over?
223
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:12,718
What'd-what'd, what's over?
224
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,054
I meant the fight,
not the relationship.
225
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,350
Oh.
226
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,684
You wanted me and Kate
to break up
227
00:09:20,684 --> 00:09:23,228
from the beginning
and you still do.
228
00:09:23,228 --> 00:09:26,023
Looks like I stuffed
the wrong friend.
229
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,401
I meant that in angry way,
not in a kind of sexual...
230
00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:33,322
So, bite me, screw you
and kiss my ass.
231
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,409
All anger.
232
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,541
(Wick)
'Is this really
necessary, Carey?'
233
00:09:44,541 --> 00:09:46,042
I'm sorry, sir,
you and I both know
234
00:09:46,042 --> 00:09:48,128
you'll never harass Mimi but...
235
00:09:48,128 --> 00:09:50,047
...before the board spends
any money on your defense
236
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:52,091
they want you to take
a polygraph test.
237
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,342
Fine, but make it quick
238
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,135
I hate being bound up
tightly like this.
239
00:09:55,135 --> 00:09:56,762
[machine clicking]
240
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,556
Alright, alright, I like it.
241
00:10:02,017 --> 00:10:04,019
Okay, the first thing
the board wants to know
242
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:06,771
is have you ever been guilty
of sexually harassing
243
00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:08,356
anybody else in any other job?
244
00:10:08,356 --> 00:10:10,276
I categorically deny
245
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,486
that I have ever been a monkey.
246
00:10:13,862 --> 00:10:15,614
- That's cheating, sir.
- No, it's not.
247
00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:17,491
[machine clicking]
248
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,159
Look, Carey,
while I respect you...
249
00:10:19,159 --> 00:10:20,703
[machine clicking]
250
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,121
And you have a... you have
a great future at the store.
251
00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:24,498
[machine clicking]
252
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,375
Oh, how do you know,
it couldn't get better?
253
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,296
Carey, this device
is a demeaning politrick.
254
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,256
I'd rather be puttin' a dress
and pass around the docks
255
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,342
by a bunch of drunken sailors.
256
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,431
Well, it should be clicking,
that was a blatant lie.
257
00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:43,809
[machine clicking]
258
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,811
This machine is the one
with the sick desires.
259
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,188
What's goin' on?
260
00:10:48,188 --> 00:10:49,564
Getting ready for court?
261
00:10:49,564 --> 00:10:51,984
This is gonna
be your downfall, Mimi.
262
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,027
You can lie to me,
you can lie to the court
263
00:10:54,027 --> 00:10:56,738
if you want you can lie
in front of my car.
264
00:10:56,738 --> 00:10:59,741
But you can not lie
to this machine.
265
00:10:59,741 --> 00:11:02,619
Well...
266
00:11:02,619 --> 00:11:04,329
Well, let's see.
267
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:05,706
Go ahead.
268
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,292
Ask me a question.
269
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,210
Alright, first I have
to ask you base question.
270
00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:11,629
Uh, Mimi Bobeck...
271
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,674
...did you invent
the automobile?
272
00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:17,593
Yes, I did.
273
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,099
Give her something
more difficult
274
00:11:24,099 --> 00:11:26,059
Something impossible
for her to say yes to.
275
00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:29,063
It'll set this thing off
like a pinball machine
276
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,314
Alright, uh...
277
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,066
Hey, Mimi...
278
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,818
...how'd you like to get out
the butter and massage oil
279
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,778
and do a lil' super side
with me later on?
280
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,366
[inhales sharply]
281
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,331
Sounds great.
282
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,628
[laughing]
283
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,629
I am a god!
284
00:11:54,629 --> 00:11:56,340
Yes, yes, yes!
285
00:12:04,264 --> 00:12:06,517
She's pure evil, Carey.
286
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,561
Package for
a backstabbing bastard.
287
00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:10,980
Sign here.
288
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,064
Give me a pen.
289
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,398
I need to see some ID.
290
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:14,524
You know me.
291
00:12:14,524 --> 00:12:17,360
Oh, I thought I did.
292
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,364
I can't believe you're jealous
of me getting Kate.
293
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,949
I'm not jealous of you and Kate.
294
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,616
I'm not gonna lie to you,
protect your feelings
295
00:12:23,616 --> 00:12:25,744
I should've told you this
a long time ago.
296
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,121
You guys just aren't right
for each other.
297
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,831
That's not true
and I've got proof.
298
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,081
It's right here
in Kate's magazine.
299
00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:31,959
Check it out.
300
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,503
How to slow down
your man in the sack.
301
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:35,921
No, no, not that one.
302
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,922
- But it's circled.
- No.
303
00:12:37,922 --> 00:12:39,341
This one, that says
304
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,886
"How to test you
and your mate's compatibility."
305
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,054
I took it, Kate and I
are a perfect match.
306
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,306
You can't take
a compatibility test alone.
307
00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:48,100
You're scared to let Kate
take this test with you
308
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,602
'cause you know I'm right.
309
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,854
I ain't scared of nothing.
310
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:55,357
Well, apparently
you're scared of good English.
311
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,234
Shut up, Mr. Know-It-All.
312
00:12:58,234 --> 00:12:59,861
I'll tell you one thing,
Kate and I are more right
313
00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:01,446
for each other
than you and Nicki are.
314
00:13:01,446 --> 00:13:03,198
Well, that is so wrong,
it's funny.
315
00:13:03,198 --> 00:13:05,325
Nicki and I are soul mates.
316
00:13:05,325 --> 00:13:07,786
Why? What did you hear?
Did she say something?
317
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:09,955
Not so cocky now, are you?
318
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:13,917
Mr. I'm-Not-So-Cocky-Now.
319
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:16,461
Why don't you take the test?
320
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:17,546
Oh, well, I'll tell you what
321
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,881
Mr. Repetitive-Insult.
322
00:13:19,881 --> 00:13:22,300
Why don't we all take the test?
323
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,719
We'll, memorize the questions
and we'll suddenly slip them
324
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,804
into our Valentine's Day dinner
325
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:28,599
and when you and Kate fail,
and I know you will.
326
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:31,101
Just promise me, you'll talk
with her and deal with it.
327
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:34,813
Ah, well, I'll talk to Kate
if you promise to talk to Nicki.
328
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:36,357
- Fine.
- Fine.
329
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,070
Carey, I'm ready
to beat the machine, now.
330
00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:43,822
I've read that
if you distract yourself
331
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:47,242
it can't truly
read your emotions.
332
00:13:47,242 --> 00:13:48,451
Alright.
333
00:13:48,451 --> 00:13:50,745
[laughing]
334
00:13:50,745 --> 00:13:52,581
[groans]
335
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,958
Ask the question.
336
00:13:54,958 --> 00:13:57,836
Alright, uh, my first
question is, uh...
337
00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,839
...why'd you do that
before I turned the machine on?
338
00:14:07,929 --> 00:14:10,599
- Hep-hey.
- Hey-ho.
339
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,018
You know, I remember the time
you couldn't get fresh basil
340
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,603
in February, remember?
341
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:17,234
Mm-hm.
342
00:14:31,276 --> 00:14:33,320
(Nicki)
'Hey, how's it going in there?'
343
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,363
Women! Dumb up.
344
00:14:39,743 --> 00:14:42,371
This is so cute.
345
00:14:42,371 --> 00:14:45,207
The little rascals make dinner.
346
00:14:45,207 --> 00:14:46,708
Well, you're not
getting any help.
347
00:14:46,708 --> 00:14:47,835
Tonight, you're on your own.
348
00:14:47,835 --> 00:14:50,421
Ooh, but this looks a little up.
349
00:14:50,421 --> 00:14:52,590
- Here.
- Oh, thanks, honey.
350
00:14:56,135 --> 00:14:57,553
She almost curdled my béarnaise.
351
00:14:57,553 --> 00:14:59,889
Do they have to be so rough?
352
00:14:59,889 --> 00:15:02,474
Well, better go out there
and see how my date's doing?
353
00:15:02,474 --> 00:15:04,184
And no jokes about Pinky's job.
354
00:15:04,184 --> 00:15:05,728
She's feeling a little weird
355
00:15:05,728 --> 00:15:07,897
since she's started testing
that cat vaccine.
356
00:15:10,524 --> 00:15:12,526
Where's my lil' kitten?
357
00:15:12,526 --> 00:15:14,695
[flushing]
358
00:15:15,988 --> 00:15:17,948
Well, I'm right here.
359
00:15:17,948 --> 00:15:19,200
Just a sec.
360
00:15:23,079 --> 00:15:24,997
Wow.
361
00:15:24,997 --> 00:15:26,749
Salmon croquettes.
362
00:15:26,749 --> 00:15:28,834
I love salmon croquettes.
363
00:15:31,629 --> 00:15:33,088
- Ready?
- Ready.
364
00:15:33,088 --> 00:15:35,049
May the most compatible
couple win.
365
00:15:37,134 --> 00:15:38,718
Gee, I hope, you're thirsty.
366
00:15:38,718 --> 00:15:40,846
I could drink two to five
of these glasses of wine
367
00:15:40,846 --> 00:15:44,349
but, I'm not sure
if that's way too much
368
00:15:44,349 --> 00:15:48,104
not enough,
or just about right.
369
00:15:48,104 --> 00:15:49,604
What do you think, Nicki?
370
00:15:49,604 --> 00:15:51,398
Um, I don't know,
sounds about right to me.
371
00:15:51,398 --> 00:15:52,524
Great.
372
00:15:52,524 --> 00:15:53,943
[bell dings]
373
00:15:55,277 --> 00:15:56,319
Five?
374
00:15:56,319 --> 00:15:57,904
This sounds like a lot to me.
375
00:15:57,904 --> 00:15:58,989
Really?
376
00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:00,157
[buzzer]
377
00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:04,829
[choking]
378
00:16:09,499 --> 00:16:11,419
Sorry. I've got something
in my throat.
379
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,925
[sighs]
Drinking.
380
00:16:17,925 --> 00:16:19,051
Boy, that always makes me think
381
00:16:19,051 --> 00:16:20,886
about having kids.
382
00:16:20,886 --> 00:16:24,848
Hey, uh, Kate, how you feel
about public education?
383
00:16:24,848 --> 00:16:26,808
I kinda like the idea
of home-schooling.
384
00:16:26,808 --> 00:16:29,228
Home-schooling?
That doesn't make any sense.
385
00:16:29,228 --> 00:16:32,439
Where you do your homework,
at school? Got you there.
386
00:16:32,439 --> 00:16:33,649
[buzzer]
387
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,944
I guess that's something I
really don't have
388
00:16:36,944 --> 00:16:39,321
to worry about.
I don't think I want kids.
389
00:16:39,321 --> 00:16:40,364
What?
390
00:16:40,364 --> 00:16:41,866
[buzzer]
391
00:16:43,909 --> 00:16:46,495
Oh, I-I'd like to have a whole...
392
00:16:46,495 --> 00:16:47,496
...litter.
393
00:16:50,999 --> 00:16:52,459
Really?
394
00:16:52,459 --> 00:16:54,336
I'd be happy with just one.
395
00:16:54,336 --> 00:16:55,962
Really, just one?
396
00:16:55,962 --> 00:16:57,422
Maybe two.
397
00:16:57,422 --> 00:16:59,174
[dings]
398
00:16:59,174 --> 00:17:00,843
Really, just two?
399
00:17:00,843 --> 00:17:02,177
Maybe three.
400
00:17:02,177 --> 00:17:04,262
[dings]
401
00:17:04,262 --> 00:17:06,014
Uh, are you sayin' that 'cause
you really want three kids
402
00:17:06,014 --> 00:17:08,558
or you think that's
what Oswald wants you to hear?
403
00:17:08,558 --> 00:17:10,560
Uh, I'd really only want one.
404
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,772
[buzzing]
405
00:17:14,189 --> 00:17:16,024
Speaking of kids...
406
00:17:16,024 --> 00:17:17,442
...isn't it fun making 'em?
407
00:17:17,442 --> 00:17:19,110
Ha-ha.
408
00:17:19,110 --> 00:17:21,822
Say, do you prefer
"Touch me in the morning"
409
00:17:21,822 --> 00:17:23,323
or "Afternoon delight"
410
00:17:23,323 --> 00:17:25,826
or "Midnight at the oasis?"
411
00:17:25,826 --> 00:17:27,703
Umm, is
"Touch me in the morning"
412
00:17:27,703 --> 00:17:29,371
the same as
"Quick, I gotta go to work?"
413
00:17:31,414 --> 00:17:32,958
Hey, I made up
for that last night?
414
00:17:32,958 --> 00:17:34,292
Oh, yeah.
415
00:17:34,292 --> 00:17:35,377
[buzzer]
416
00:17:40,006 --> 00:17:41,174
Well...
417
00:17:41,174 --> 00:17:43,635
I know what my Katie bear likes
418
00:17:43,635 --> 00:17:46,889
and that's not to discuss
sexual matters during dinner.
419
00:17:46,889 --> 00:17:48,140
- That's right.
- Yes.
420
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:49,641
[dings]
421
00:17:49,641 --> 00:17:51,310
Pinky, you want another
croquettes?
422
00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:53,061
Pinky, you want another
croquettes, huh?
423
00:17:53,061 --> 00:17:54,146
You want it? Go get it.
424
00:17:54,146 --> 00:17:55,606
Get it, get it, get it.
425
00:17:59,985 --> 00:18:01,278
Well...
426
00:18:01,278 --> 00:18:02,946
...I propose a toast.
427
00:18:02,946 --> 00:18:05,199
To health,
wealth and happiness.
428
00:18:05,199 --> 00:18:07,534
In whatever order
it's most important to you.
429
00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:08,993
Uh, Nicki.
430
00:18:08,993 --> 00:18:10,996
- What?
- What's the order?
431
00:18:10,996 --> 00:18:12,372
Uh, I don't know.
432
00:18:12,372 --> 00:18:13,665
Health, I guess.
433
00:18:13,665 --> 00:18:15,083
[buzzer]
434
00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:17,043
And then, I guess wealth.
435
00:18:17,043 --> 00:18:18,920
[buzzer]
436
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,547
Yeah, to hell
with happiness.
437
00:18:20,547 --> 00:18:21,549
[buzzer]
438
00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,510
- Happiness is the top for me.
- Aw.
439
00:18:25,510 --> 00:18:26,887
[dings]
440
00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:28,930
And I don't care
if I'm ever rich.
441
00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:31,141
Poor and happy, can do.
442
00:18:31,141 --> 00:18:32,559
[dings]
443
00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:34,812
My idea of happiness
is to lay around
444
00:18:34,812 --> 00:18:36,813
in the sun, grooming myself.
445
00:18:36,813 --> 00:18:38,941
Maybe, chase a bird or two.
446
00:18:38,941 --> 00:18:40,650
[chuckles]
Me too.
447
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:43,612
[dings]
448
00:18:43,612 --> 00:18:45,072
Oh, it's the timer
in the kitchen.
449
00:18:45,072 --> 00:18:46,782
Hah.
450
00:18:46,782 --> 00:18:48,576
Dinner's ready.
451
00:18:48,576 --> 00:18:49,869
You like dinner, don't ya?
452
00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:52,496
[buzzer]
453
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:57,292
Man, I can't believe
how bad I'm doing.
454
00:18:57,292 --> 00:18:58,751
Ah, no offense
455
00:18:58,751 --> 00:19:01,588
but you two ever think
about talking during a meal?
456
00:19:01,588 --> 00:19:03,757
Shut up, I'm coming back
in the second half.
457
00:19:03,757 --> 00:19:04,800
Yeah, right.
458
00:19:06,009 --> 00:19:07,261
Hey, where's the wine?
459
00:19:07,261 --> 00:19:08,678
I could use another
two to five glasses.
460
00:19:08,678 --> 00:19:10,222
Um.
461
00:19:10,222 --> 00:19:12,349
Oh, and, hey,
it's domestic.
462
00:19:12,349 --> 00:19:14,392
Boy, you know, I think
American workers
463
00:19:14,392 --> 00:19:16,979
are the hardest working people
on the planet.
464
00:19:16,979 --> 00:19:18,480
You have to agree with that,
wouldn't you, Nicki?
465
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,648
That's not on the test.
466
00:19:19,648 --> 00:19:21,483
Give me one lousy point.
467
00:19:21,483 --> 00:19:22,692
Actually, in Japan...
468
00:19:22,692 --> 00:19:25,528
[buzzer]
469
00:19:25,528 --> 00:19:26,988
...so technically, we're not.
470
00:19:26,988 --> 00:19:29,074
[laughing]
471
00:19:29,074 --> 00:19:30,825
I thought this was supposed
to be a romantic dinner.
472
00:19:30,825 --> 00:19:32,411
What's with
the "Twenty Questions?"
473
00:19:32,411 --> 00:19:34,746
Oh, does examining your
relationship makes you impatient
474
00:19:34,746 --> 00:19:36,832
suspicious,
or happy with your man?
475
00:19:36,832 --> 00:19:38,500
Just shut up and kiss me.
476
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,711
[dings]
477
00:19:40,711 --> 00:19:44,965
So, how do you feel about
public displays of affection?
478
00:19:44,965 --> 00:19:47,760
Um, come on, I'm the one who
wanted to do it in the library.
479
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,511
It was story time down the hall.
480
00:19:49,511 --> 00:19:50,554
[buzzer]
481
00:19:51,679 --> 00:19:53,223
I don't believe you, Drew.
482
00:19:53,223 --> 00:19:54,266
You're the one who told me
you wanted to do it
483
00:19:54,266 --> 00:19:55,267
in an airplane bathroom.
484
00:19:55,267 --> 00:19:56,727
[scoffs]
What, you kidding?
485
00:19:56,727 --> 00:19:59,312
I can barely get myself
in one of those things.
486
00:19:59,312 --> 00:20:00,481
[buzzer]
487
00:20:02,274 --> 00:20:03,775
I mean, they're getting smaller.
488
00:20:03,775 --> 00:20:05,152
[buzzer]
489
00:20:06,904 --> 00:20:08,530
[buzzer]
490
00:20:10,365 --> 00:20:12,242
Kate, when uh,
when two people are in love
491
00:20:12,242 --> 00:20:13,535
how long do you think
they should wait
492
00:20:13,535 --> 00:20:14,662
until they get married?
493
00:20:16,621 --> 00:20:19,166
I don't know, I guess
when they have that look
494
00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:20,668
in their eyes,
they should just do it.
495
00:20:27,048 --> 00:20:28,342
Kate, will you marry me?
496
00:20:30,635 --> 00:20:31,678
Yes.
497
00:20:31,678 --> 00:20:32,805
[sighs]
498
00:20:37,893 --> 00:20:38,936
Let me see your eyes.
499
00:20:46,693 --> 00:20:48,362
Nicki's got the look too, huh.
500
00:20:51,406 --> 00:20:52,783
Uh, you wanna get married?
501
00:20:55,535 --> 00:20:56,703
What?
502
00:20:56,703 --> 00:20:58,705
Come on, we're perfect
for each other.
503
00:20:58,705 --> 00:21:00,290
Come on.
504
00:21:00,290 --> 00:21:01,791
Okay. Sure.
505
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,293
[babbling]
506
00:21:03,293 --> 00:21:04,335
[chuckles]
507
00:21:04,335 --> 00:21:06,546
Hey, we're getting married.
508
00:21:06,546 --> 00:21:08,132
- We should do that too.
- Okay.
509
00:21:11,051 --> 00:21:12,927
Drew, are you serious?
510
00:21:12,927 --> 00:21:14,680
Yeah.
511
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,557
I can't believe this,
we're all getting married.
512
00:21:16,557 --> 00:21:17,724
That's great.
513
00:21:17,724 --> 00:21:19,351
[laughing]
514
00:21:20,518 --> 00:21:21,728
You know, I got...
515
00:21:21,728 --> 00:21:24,522
...I got a really
good feeling about this.
516
00:21:24,522 --> 00:21:26,191
[buzzer]
517
00:21:29,527 --> 00:21:30,737
I hope you enjoyed your evening.
518
00:21:30,737 --> 00:21:32,781
Oh, yeah, your friends
are lovely.
519
00:21:33,907 --> 00:21:35,158
Umm.
520
00:21:35,158 --> 00:21:36,702
And this wine is lovely.
521
00:21:36,702 --> 00:21:38,662
It's a Chardonnay, 1995.
522
00:21:38,662 --> 00:21:40,997
Oh.
523
00:21:40,997 --> 00:21:42,040
[sniffing]
524
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,167
Nice, bouquet.
525
00:21:44,418 --> 00:21:45,461
[sighs]
526
00:21:51,008 --> 00:21:52,551
[meowing]
527
00:21:52,551 --> 00:21:54,136
(Lewis)
'Ow, easy, Pinky.'
528
00:21:54,136 --> 00:21:55,595
'Ow, oh, that's not nice.'
529
00:21:55,595 --> 00:21:56,597
[glass breaking]
34796
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