Original subtitles

This is the story of the going home.

This is the story of the critical part.

Hello, CKB21, proceeding west along Caterbridge Road in pursuit of Stolen

We have visual contact.

Stop it.

Right, mate, that's it for tonight then. You hang on here.

I'll have this, comedian.

Right, son.

You're nipped.

Go on, Bennett.

There's no one in there.

Dave! What?

He's done a runner.

What?

PC all 4832 to CKB to one.

Go ahead, all 4832.

This truck's there.

There's no one driving it.

Oh, listen, sir, listen.

Will you listen?

There isn't anyone driving it.

What's up, Pete? He's disappeared.

must be someone. Let's get after it.

He won't start.

I don't believe it. He won't start.

Not end of story.

Not start of story.

Story starts.

Story of gnomes.

Story of truckers.

I serve gnomes.

Gnomes are four inches high.

Gnomes live, move, and talk ten times faster than humans.

This is a gnome.

This gnome is called Mastlin.

He is hungry.

He is hunting for food.

He is being hunted.

For food.

This was countryside.

Known population here was 40.

Population lived under hedges and in odd corners.

Now there are no hedges. Now

there are few corners.

Now there are...

The gnomes need safety.

There is no safety here.

The gnomes need food.

There is little food.

Where's their mushrooms?

What mushrooms?

I haven't got any mushrooms.

How am I going to make... Why haven't you got any mushrooms?

There weren't any mushrooms. That's why I haven't got any mushrooms.

Pirates always fetched us mushrooms.

Pirates is dead.

We don't know that. Of course he's dead. And the others.

But it's been months.

If it wasn't a lorry, it was a hawk. If it wasn't a hawk, it was a fox.

So it's hazelnuts. Yes. Again. Oh, Gran.

Yes, again.

And it's taken all day to get them again.

And the hawks might have got me again.

And I'm wet through and tired out again. You might have brought back another

faggin', boy.

I'm right out the backy. And how would you like it, eh?

We're right out of fire, aren't we?

Gran let the fire go out, didn't she?

Couldn't help it. Fell asleep and let the fire out.

You let the fire out, and then you want me to... My hair!

I've had about enough.

Gran!

Mr. Mertz! Huh?

Attack!

Attack! You're supposed to be a lookout, and you fall asleep. Who do you think

you're talking to? Just get inside. I'll take over.

Young people nowadays.

No manners.

A slave, he says.

What is the point?

Those humans are always going places.

Always in a hurry, too.

It's funny.

When they're so big and slow.

Bet they never have to eat rat, though.

Bet they don't live in damp burrows.

Those lorries might be the answer.

I think we could get away on a lorry.

I don't. Blame him for being cross about it.

But I just fell asleep like... Well, we'll light it again when the weather's

better. I'm just old, Grimmer.

And old's no use to anyone.

Gran, you mustn't...

That did it.

We're going.

All of us.

Masclin had watched the lorries.

He knew they went somewhere.

He thought the gnomes might go somewhere on a lorry.

He thought anywhere is better than here.

That's the one.

That's our lorry. Are you sure about that?

I've seen it come here every Tuesday and Thursday for the last four weeks.

It stops for three minutes.

Plenty of time, then. As long as you do what I tell you. See here, young

muskler. Shh!

Look! Oh!

I don't know as I old with climbing.

That's right.

And it's a sight bigger than I thought. Oh, come on. You carry on. I'll bring

them. They're just frightened.

All right, but hurry.

I don't old with heights, neither.

My feet's all wet.

Right, now, one at a time.

I'm going to help you up. Folks will look up my skirts.

What? While I'm swinging about up there, folks will look up my skirts.

They haven't to look. Granny, they won't look.

Will you move?

Come on. Right.

It'll be all right, Granny. You'll see.

Just about made it.

I wouldn't like to go through that again.

Oh, Lord.

What? I dropped the thing.

I dropped it. The thing down by the wheel. It's down there.

You'll have to go and get it, boy.

It's there, near the wheel. I said it was.

Go and get it, boy. There's no time for it.

The driver's coming back. There isn't time.

We can't see the thing. It's just a thing.

We won't need the wretched object.

Oh, thank you. Be forgiven.

What a terrible thing to say.

You tell him, Tommy. If we ain't taking the thing, I ain't going.

It's not a raptured object. Keep it behind, indeed.

Be decent.

Go and get it this minute.

We talked.

Where are we, boy? I think I'd better go and find out.

You took a long time to train.

Bargains galore. Where did you come from?

Well, answer me.

Where did you come from?

Off a lorry. What were you doing?

Travelling. Are you trying to tell me you came from outside?

Right. Is it true? The ceiling is so high you can't see it. What's a ceiling?

That is.

Never seen anything like that. And there's a green carpet thing that grows

the ground. What's a carpet?

Wow.

Um, my name is Angelo.

Angelo de Haberdashery.

And this is Bobo.

Um, I'm masculine.

Grimmer.

Granny Morky.

And old Torrid.

My father will never believe it.

Old people, too.

And not even pointy heads or anything.

Sauce. Madder.

Do you know who you're talking to?

Someone who's not too old for a smack bottom.

Um, yes, well... Will you all follow me, please?

Look, where is this place? You don't know? We just thought... Well, we just

hoped that the lorries went to the... To a good place to be. This is the best

place to be.

This is the store.

This is the store.

This is Arnold Brothers Est 1905.

This is the store with all things under one roof, including

gnomes. Right.

In here.

That's a rattle. You're not asking me to go down a rattle. It just looks like

a... It's a disguised elephant.

Your rat went through it. I've got eyes.

It's a rat hole.

I don't think it's a rat hole, Granny.

Why? Well, there's stairs inside.

And little lights.

Worked by the electricity.

Whatever that might be.

Well... Oh, there's food!

What's that thing?

Oh, a salami sausage.

And there are dates.

And that's a banana.

I expect you've never seen a banana before.

It's small, that one, compared to what we have at home. It is? Very puny.

We can hardly dig them out of the ground.

Yes.

Well, you can all help yourselves.

You not hungry?

I'm just not eating.

Look,

where does all this food come from? We take it from the humans.

They're rather stupid, you know.

Don't they mind?

They think it's rats.

The food hall take rat doodars with them, leave them behind, and the humans

think it's rats.

Ha! Um, doodars? Droppings, you know.

They fall for that, do they? I told you, they're stupid.

Now, you must meet my father, the Duke de Haberdashery. Duke? He's nearly the

most important gnome in the store.

Duke, defender of the mezzanine and autocrat of the star canteen.

Hmm.

The thing, you call it? That's right.

Hmm.

Very amusing.

So, you're from outside, are you? Yes, we are. Do you really expect me to

believe you? Father, I... Be quiet!

What are the words of the Book of Nome? Well... Let me remind you, Angela, for

this must be what all shall know of Arnold Brothers, Est 1905.

All things...

Under one roof. Therefore, there can be no outside.

Therefore, you people are not from it. But we really do come from outside.

There is no outside!

Now, give up this foolish chatter.

Take a place in the haberdashery guard and help us in our battles against the

other departments.

Battles? But you're all gnomes.

Spending all your time squabbling seems a bit silly to me. Silly, did he say?

The Ironmongeri want to take over the whole store, you see.

And the millinery are nearly as bad.

Why? Because they've always been our enemies.

Now, you may go. We want the thing back.

Thing?

You have to go and upset him. Oh, come on. There's no need for us to start

bickering. What happens to us now?

What happens to gnomes who aren't in a department?

They just have to get along as best they can.

They lead very sad lives.

Look, why don't you sort of hang around?

I'm sure he'll change his mind, and I know there's an outside.

I've watched those lorries for months, and sometimes they come in wet.

Outside? Yes.

I knew where I was outside.

This is as far as I can take you.

Over there is millinery country.

We're a bit, um, cool with them at the moment.

But you'll find someone to take you in.

Maybe Iron Monk, Gary.

Then you'd find out about electricity.

Well, someone, anyway.

Well, bye.

Look.

Just where are we going?

We'll find somewhere.

No arm can befall us as long as we obey the thing. Oh, yes.

What does the thing say, then? Well, it says, if we pose

together... You're just making it up. Masculine.

I'm fed up with it. The thing says this, the thing says that. Every blessed

thing except what might be useful. The thing has been handed down for hundreds

of years. It's very important.

Why? Why?

Because it shows us... The thing seems

more important than... What?

What are you all looking like that for?

Electricity. Who said that?

It does tell you things. Not like that.

It ain't never talked out loud before.

Move me closer to the electricity.

That's the stuff Angelo said works the lights in those rope things.

Well, I ain't gonna touch it.

Here. How does it talk?

It hasn't got a mouth.

You know, how we should lead proper lives.

It never has.

But you said... It used to. Old Puzzle said it used to when he passed it on to

me. What? It just stopped, he said, hundreds of years ago. What?

And all these years you've been telling us the thing says this, the thing says

that?

Well...

I don't know what to say.

It's the leader's job.

Fifteen thousand years have passed.

Past what?

Do you still know the meaning of flight navigation and recording

computer? No.

Do you know of interstellar travel?

No. Do you know you came here from a place farther than...

Farther than the moon. I know we came past it in the lorry. I saw it through

trees. Right.

Yes.

Well, probably.

What do you call this planet?

Planet? What is your name for this place?

Ah, it's called the store.

The store.

Here. I ain't standing here all day talking rubbish with the thing.

My purpose is to...

You've been keeping a bit quiet about it, then. This is to maintain internal

power.

I can now use ambient electricity.

Why didn't you talk before?

Was listening.

Now awaiting instructions.

Sorry? I think it wants us to tell it what to do.

What can you do?

Translate, calculate, triangulate, assimilate, correlate, and extrapolate.

Do we want anything like that?

Another banana would be nice.

I think all we really want... Yes?

...is to go home and be safe.

Go home. That's right.

Be safe. Yes.

Computing.

Thank goodness.

So, what do we do now?

I think we'd better rest for a bit.

We'll see what else there is later.

Humans. Hundreds of them. Aren't they slow?

And what are they up to?

They almost look as if, well, as if they know what they're doing.

No, it's like ants.

They seem intelligent, but there ain't really nothing clever about them.

so, but if they're so stupid, why is it us hiding from them?

Well... Hello!

Dear, you've been... playing on us? I come here to watch the humans.

There's usually no one here.

What department are you? We haven't got one. We've just people here.

You must be those new things.

Outsiders.

My name's Dorcas Del Icateson.

Watch humans?

Study them.

You can learn a lot about the future by watching humans.

Oh, like the weather. The weather?

Oh, weather. Of course. You know all about weather. You've heard of it? Only

the old stories.

I reckon outsiders, it'd be a different shape.

Life, but not as we know it.

Here, I'll show you what I mean.

Well, main task suspended.

We need this person.

Main task resumed.

My word, what a tiny radio.

They get smaller all the time.

Well, come on.

Do you live down here?

Oh, no, no. It's one of my discoveries.

Hang on.

It took me ages to sort out.

Sort of a floor on a rope. Goes up and down with humans in it.

Up and down?

I had a look at how it worked.

Simple. It'd have to be or the humans couldn't use it.

Stand back, please.

Right, in the basket.

It'll save your legs. If you think you're getting me in a... in a wire nest

string, you've got another thing coming.

Is it safe? More or less.

Hurry up, please.

This way, madam.

Madam?

More or less safe?

How much more than less? Well, I'm sure my bit's safe.

Here you are, sir.

But that bit was put together by humans.

Right, I'll take these.

Coming up.

Now, domestic appliances.

No one bothers me here.

Not even the abbot. Abbot? I'm the only one who knows how things work, see?

What's that?

It's a radio. We're trying to figure out how it talks.

Here.

My idea of what an outsider would look like.

Pointy head.

So the rain had run off.

Water dropping out of the sky all the time outside.

I think you've got it a bit wrong. And then there's just a big blinding light

outside. I once saw the big garage door open. Well, I suppose it would seem like

that if you live in this gloom all the time. Tell me all about it.

Everything you can remember about the outside. I reckon, see, that Arnold

Brothers put us in the store to find out things.

Otherwise, why have we got brains? Who is Arnold Brothers?

Created the store.

1905. The bargain basement, consumer accounts, and everything in between.

I am monitoring telephonic communications.

Urgent information.

You are living in a constructed entity with unlimited life.

All those words.

Information of utmost significance concerning imminent destruction of this

artifact. Oh, sorry? You do not comprehend.

Comprehend. I will endeavour to clarify my statement.

Oh, jolly good.

Big fella store him go bang along 20 soon enough, chop chop.

Hmm? Do you know the meaning of destroyed?

Oh, yeah.

That is what is going to happen to the store.

What? In 21 days.

21 days is a long time. Not in politics.

I thought this was the store.

Look. What do you think gnomes will do if the store's destroyed?

There's masses of outside.

Only if you believe in it. It's real.

It's there.

Most of them don't believe there's anywhere to go.

So? We ought to see the abbot. The abbot?

Head of the stationery. Spiritual leader of the store.

Best if we don't draw attention to ourselves. Not wise for people to wander

around outside their own department.

And since you haven't got a department, well, come on.

Look at the lights.

We steal boxes of them around Christmas fair.

Let's see. Humans put them on trees. Oh, you know what trees are then? Of course

I know.

Big green things with plastic freckles.

The ones we have have leaves.

Leaves? They fall off every year. Really?

Who sticks them back on?

Oh. Oh.

What have they caught?

Let's reband it.

I think it's the knife.

I said your possessions are dear life.

Sorry? He wants you to give him everything you have.

Oh, excuse us.

Do we give him everything?

Not the thing. Not nothing. No.

Oh, don't they understand the plain gnome? You'll have to excuse them.

They're new here.

We've decided, if it's all the same to you, we'll keep what we have.

Sorry. You can't say that.

What? You can't say you don't want to be robbed.

Robbed? I tell you what, you being new will hardly hurt you at all.

Get them!

Sure, we understand this custom, but gnomes shouldn't hurt each other.

So, I think it would be a good idea if you go away.

Right?

What was all that about? What are bandits? They take things that don't

them. They're just a nuisance.

You'll feel the flat of my hand if he comes back here.

Oh, I don't think he'll be back.

I wonder what effect you lot will have on the abbot.

Ah,

no.

Delicatessen, isn't it? Lord Abbott.

Invented anything late.

Not likely, my lord. My lord, I have the honour to present to you... I can't see

anyone. Must be blind.

And I can't hear anyone either.

Shh, shh, shh. Someone's told them about you. He won't let himself see you.

My lord, I... I bring strange news.

The store is going to be demolished.

The army... When? In 21 days, my lord.

I'm sure you know a great deal about electricity, Dorcas, but you must know

that every time there is a grand final sale, excitable people say the

end of the store is nigh.

And strangely enough, life goes on.

Am I in the presence of community leaders?

I use electricity.

Sometimes electricity can carry messages.

I can understand messages.

There is a computer in the store.

I can hear it think.

It thinks.

No more store soon.

No more payroll.

No more account.

Very amusing.

How did you make it? My lord, these people brought it. Which people?

My lord. I am a tolerant gnome.

You speculate about things outside, and I do not mind.

But to insist that it is real.

Little sexy toy.

I can stand an impact of 2 ,500 tons.

There is nothing outside.

Audience concluded.

Be off. Away.

Away.

I don't understand.

How can people not see us? Because they know we're from outside.

But other gnomes can see us.

I think that's because they don't really believe we are outsiders.

Then that means the abbot really does think we're from outside.

And that means he believes we're here and he can't see us. Well, where's the

sense in that?

I ain't an outsider.

They're all insiders.

I don't see as it matters much.

Come three weeks, they'll all be outsiders.

Serve them right.

They'll have to go round not looking at themselves.

Excuse me, Mr. Hammett.

Went and tripped over you there.

Didn't see you, I'm sure.

If only they'd listened.

Silly of me to think they would, really.

The stationery never listen to new ideas.

Excuse me.

You want me? I wanted to talk to the, um, outsiders.

Oh, you've got better eyesight than most, then. Um, yes.

That thing, spook. Well? Do you, um, believe what it said?

I don't think it can tell us. Is it some kind of radio?

I don't know.

It says it came with gnomes from a long way away.

A long time ago.

We've had it a long time. My dad had it for me, and his father for him, and his

brother... Humans are acting very strangely.

Things aren't being replaced in the store.

Even the abbots worry. Oh, is he?

My name is Gerda.

I'm the abbot's assistant.

Well?

What? Would you come with me?

Please. Is there food?

We'll have some sent up, certainly.

Please, follow me.

Please.

Books, books.

A powerful lot of stuff in there we could find useful.

It is vital that you obtain books.

Statutory old oil to him.

Say they inflamed the brain.

In here.

Please, why are we doing this again?

Have you arranged for food, Gerda? My lord, I was just... Go and do

it now.

Who is in charge?

Well, me,

I suppose. Just for the moment.

Stay here.

With the talking box.

The rest of you, go.

I don't understand.

Ten minutes ago, you said I didn't even exist.

Now you're talking to me. The abbots have been denying there is anything

for generations.

I can't suddenly say they were all wrong.

People would think I'd gone.

There. Would they? There were terrible wars in the store once.

Gnome against gnome.

The battle of the great Hillary.

The dreadful Mezzanine.

We stopped it.

Stationary. We made them see that Arnold Brothers, Est

1905, expects gnomes to be at peace with one another.

Now, suppose I had said I believed you.

People would have said, have the stationery been wrong all this time?

That would never do.

We must hold the gnomes together.

You don't believe in Arnold Brothers, S -1905, do you?

And I'm not sure I want to believe in your outside. It sounds cold

and dangerous.

In any case, I shall be going on a rather more mysterious journey.

My lord. Take Masklin away and educate him a little.

My lord. Then come back here, both of you.

Leave the black box.

What are you, and what is your purpose?

I am the flight recorder and navigation computer of the starship Swan.

My current major function is to guide and advise those gnomes shipwrecked when

their scout ship crashed here 15 ,000 years ago. Who are those gnomes of which

you speak?

All gnomes. All gnomes.

The Book of Gnomes, eh?

It's got words on it. There was the site.

And Arnold Brothers Established 1905 said, Let there be a store.

For this must be what all shall know of Arnold Brothers Established 1905.

All things under one roof.

Let it be high even unto five stories.

Plus basement.

And bright.

With lights.

And into the store came the gnomes.

That it would be their place forever and ever.

Ever and ever. These words are the most important words in the store.

Oh. Fancy.

So you see why the abbot says there's nothing outside the store.

But you believe us, don't you?

Well, I've often wondered where the lorries go.

And where the humans come from.

And... Yes? Some of us have been watching the humans.

And something unusual is happening. But... Donald Brothers wouldn't destroy

store.

Would he?

A fault meant we could not return to the main ship.

So... We came from a distant...

Yeah.

So that is why the stars come out at every Christmas fair.

Quite fitting, they should once have belonged at once, no?

And when our stars are not out, they are kept in a great storeroom called

the Galaxy, near to the heavens.

Higher even than the consumer account.

Ah, me.

This being the case, it may be that they will attain the level of knowledge that

will allow them to travel in space as gnomes once did.

Can it be that this is forgotten?

Can it be that this is forgotten?

No response to inquiry, stimulus.

Assume circuits in standby mode.

Quitting program.

The stationary are not a true department, you see.

There are no women and children, for one thing. So, people have to join.

Several, um... Intelligent boys are chosen from each department every year,

they become stationary.

Intelligent boys?

Why can't women be stationary?

Well, women can't read.

Well, apparently their brains get too hot and with the strain, you know. I

There. It should say Christmas there.

But instead it says final reduction. Ah, we've been wondering.

What does that mean?

Well, this is just a small idea. I expect big ideas would make my head

But doesn't it mean, well, that everything is finally being reduced?

You can't be that simple.

Once they had one saying fire sale, but we didn't see them selling any fire.

Oh, yeah, and that's another odd thing. What?

Those shelves against the wall. Sometimes the humans take things off

Sometimes they put things on, but lately, well,

they've just taken things away.

What's that say? Ah, everything must go.

It's there every year. It's Arnold Brothers' est 1905's way of telling us

must lead good lives because we will die eventually.

Hmm.

Everything must go.

You wanted to see us, sir?

Yes. You there, the young man with the spear.

Me? Yes. Have you spoken to this thing? In a way. It has talked to

me.

Says we came from a star.

Says it can hear electric things.

And that it is heard that Arnold Brothers, Est 1905, plans to

demolish the store.

We must ask Arnold Brothers, Est 1905.

We will learn his truth.

Sir, you're far too... I mean, it wouldn't be right for you to go

all the way up to the top floor.

It's a terrible... dangerous journey. Quite so, boy.

You will go instead.

And your boisterous friend with the spear can go with you.

But I am not worthy.

None of us is.

We are all shop solid.

Everything must go.

Now be off and may bargains galore go with you.

Where are we going?

Through the moving stairs.

Bits of the storm move around.

You'll see.

Wow.

You've been here before?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Millions of times.

Often. Now what?

Arnold Brothers says it's 1905.

It waits at the top.

And when gnomes die... Grimaire. What are you doing?

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Rumor.

again if i hadn't you'd still be at the bottom there could have been all sorts

of dangers up here like what that's not the point the point is there we're

all here so everything's all right isn't it

What's the writing on them? Um, fire.

Oh, my.

The abbot was right.

Buckets of fire. I can't see any flames. Perhaps there's a lid.

There's beans in bean tins and jam in jam jars.

There should be fire in fire buckets.

Does that say, Christ is slashed?

No, he dwells among the furnaces in the basement.

You read it out.

I'd better not look in case my brain goes bang.

Yes.

Arnold Brothers.

Est 1905.

D .K.

Butterthwaite. General Manager.

He's in there.

Want me to see?

Long enough.

I'm going to see if he's all right.

Come on.

Up here. On this big wooden thing.

There's all kinds of things up here. It's a desk.

Amazing value in genuine 100 % oak veneer. What's he doing? I chose some

to suit every pocket. What?

It's what Arnold Brothers F1905 writes on his line.

Anything makes me feel better. Look out.

Hey. Sorry. Paper clips.

No, they're metal.

Come on.

Oh, dear.

Well, Arnold Brothers, Est 1905, doesn't seem to be around.

The abbot saw him here one night, watching over the store.

Ah. Sitting at the desk, right here.

Big. There, Niddy. Sort of human -sized.

Sort of? Hmm.

So, if he's human -sized, perhaps he's just a...

Let's just see what we can... The bargain's gone. You'll preserve

us. Sorry.

This lever thing went click. Yeah, it's an electric light.

It gave me a start. Sorry.

Anything interesting?

Notice to all staff.

I am sure we are all aware of the increasingly poor, fine

and shell performance of the store in recent years.

Huh?

Loss of custom, closure of the... Bargains galore.

What? To this end, the store will...

Shortly be demolished. There's the words again.

Closure and demolished.

What is it?

Climb down, quick.

Gerda. It's prices first.

We're all done.

Only the doorway.

There's enough.

Come on.

Shh.

He says he's dying.

I suppose he should know.

Dying of what?

Of being alive so long.

You're not going to die, are you, sir?

Of course I am.

It's what being alive is all about.

Did you see Arnold Brothers since 1905?

We found some writing, sir.

It says the store will be demolished.

Whatever shall we do?

You will have to leave.

It's quiet.

Box of yours. Yes.

Told me things.

Stores bigger than I thought.

Called the universe.

1905. Telling us to go back there.

You are the kind who sees things through.

Take them home.

Take them home.

leave the store.

There's foxes out there and water that drops out of the sky in bits.

Sir?

Sir?

Can you hear me?

Maybe.

But you won't be able to, aren't you? Why not?

He's dead.

nor daily, only opening time and closing time.

Rain fell not, neither was there snow, and the gnomes grew fat and multiplied

as the years passed.

And other gnomes said, Here we have the power of the electric, the food hall,

and all manner of diversions.

Very impressive, eh?

I've seen a funeral before.

Oh, really?

That you were... Very you're dead, then. Inside foxes, mostly.

Ah. And he cried, Whoa, whoa.

Now that it has pleased you, Arnold Brothers S. 1905, to take our brother

to your great gardening department beyond consumer accounts, where there is

ideal lawn energy and an amazing floral display.

and the pool of eternal life in easy -to -lay polytheistic fields with fading

edging. We will give him the gifts a gnome must take on his journey.

I give him the spade of honest toil.

I lay beside him the fishing rod of hope.

Trundle to his side, the wheelbarrow of leadership.

Oh, dear.

And now let our brother, sleeping the sleep of the interior sprung mattress,

taken to the last resting place in the sub -basement, where the incinerator

shall take his body to itself.

For such is the decree of Arnold Brothers.

My young day, if a person died, we buried them in the ground.

Then what happened?

What? Where did they go after that?

I don't reckon they went anywhere. Dead people don't get about much.

In the store, Arnold Brothers, Est 1905, sends them back to us before they go to

a better place.

How can he send them back?

The inner bit of them.

I mean... I'll get someone to show you.

Well, I never... The outside like this.

Say, you... You've seen it. There was more green and brown.

And flowers.

Some flowers, but not like those.

I want seen flowers like them. See, I was only a lad, and

I... Oh.

The heavens bless us.

You see?

How horrible.

No.

No, it's marvellous. Arnold Brothers, Est 1905, sends you back smart and

new. Looks the same.

Well, you see... No women anyway.

That's a mercy.

We'll catch me coming back like that. I saw one like these once. You what?

You never... I did too, when I were a little lad.

Grandpa Dimple took us over the fields.

There was all these big houses where the humans lived. They had little fields

full of flowers like what they've got here. You never saw no flowers. And we

one of these here, a sitting on a toadstool. It never was.

And I mind Grandpa saying, that ain't no life out there in all weathers.

Birds doing their was name on your hat and dogs whittling all over you. No, no.

It isn't like that at all. The abbot says that...

But I... Why me?

I never wanted to be the abbot. I never wanted to lead anyone.

Anyway, I have doubts sometimes.

Yes.

Listen.

We need to talk to someone in the Ironmongeri.

They control the electric, don't they?

Well, there's the Count Ironmongeri.

Not a very religious...

You've got a plan, haven't you?

Sort of.

But this is only the beginning.

It's about the going home. What?

Never mind.

Doesn't matter.

Something the thing told me. But all gnomes spring from the crew of the

spaceship who ruled here millennia ago.

Millennia? Thousands of years.

And it came from another ship?

Another larger ship, which came from another galaxy. What's a galaxy?

A system of stars.

Earth is a star.

And this ship is in a space somewhere? Not.

A space in space.

What's space?

You know, outside.

Yes, of course. Space is an outside, outside,

outside.

Um, no.

With water. Not as you know it. Then what does the ship sail on? It is a

spaceship. An interstellar... People carrier.

Ah, like a lorry. A people carrier without wheels that flies without wings

where there is no air.

I see.

I don't understand that.

Not now.

You might.

The ship waits for you. For me? For all gnomes.

Waits now.

Will wait.

Wait for the going home.

Home.

Outside. Outside.

Resuming main task.

Wow.

Maskling. Maskling. Yes?

Sorry. This plan, it isn't some mad scheme of Dorcas's. No.

I think we can get everyone, everyone, out. Who?

Carrying everything we'll ever need.

They'll be squashed under the weight. Not really.

Most of what they'll be carrying doesn't weigh anything at all.

How many stationary can read human?

Oh, we can all.

Four of us.

I don't think that'll be enough. Not everyone can get the hang of it.

What do you plan? The abbot said the stationery have always tried to make

work together. Yes.

This plan will mean they have to work together. Good. Only I don't think

going to like it very much. I think you'll laugh at it. Well, tell me. We

all get out.

If we steal a lorry.

Steal a lorry?

The big...

Smelly things with wheels at each corner.

Yes. The gnomes are fools.

Even if the store was in danger and I see no reason, no reason I say to

it, the idea is quite preposterous.

There'd be plenty of room, you see. We can take everyone and steal books that

tell us how to do things.

Make sure we... The mouth moves.

The tongue waggles.

But no sense comes out.

No offence to the late Abbott. What?

But I... I have heard there are other stores out...

You know, out there. I'm not talking about going to another store. I'm

about living free. And I'm listening to no more of this nonsense.

Home to breathe.

Carry on, young man.

Well, I can't plan anything more until I know a bit more.

Can you make electric, for example?

Yes.

You're asking me to give you deep -up mental secrets. My lord, it's vital that

we are open with one another, share our knowledge.

Well... We must all act for the good of all noobs. Well said.

That's why the stationery are going to teach anyone who wants to read.

To read?

Women, too.

The stationery department is full of books.

They can tell us how to do anything we want.

But we're going to need lots of people to read them.

Yummy.

I think our stationery friend is quite overcome by this new spirit of sharing

and cooperation.

How, young man, do these precious books tell us how one may control

one of these lorry things?

Ah.

It's got words on it. You see?

I've learned them already.

The Highway Code.

The Highway Code.

When you learn the Highway Code, you can drive.

It says so. And I've been working out some of the words. And she's been

some of the words.

And that's all there is to this, um, driving?

Um, well, I went and looked in one of the lorries in the nest, the garage,

morning. There's levers and wheels and things.

But I suppose we can find out what they do.

Yes. But humans do it. True.

So it can't be all that difficult.

Very true.

Hmm.

Yes.

So.

What is it you'll require from us?

People. As many as you can spare, and especially the ones you can't spare.

Oh, and they'll need to be fed.

Very well.

But I'd just like to ask the young girl whether she feels all right with

this weeding. I can only do a few words, like left and right

and bicycle.

Yes.

And you haven't experienced any pressure in the head? Not really, Ma.

Extremely interesting.

I... Well, I... People, then.

Lots of people.

Teach them to read.

Anyone who wants.

Yes. Why didn't you ask my permission first? Would you have given it? No,

why. When I said I'd help you, I didn't expect this.

Nor did I. What? I thought you'd help.

All right.

I can't forbid it now.

Good. So when can you start?

Start?

Me? You said yourself.

You're the best reader.

Yes, of course.

Good.

Here comes Peter.

Hello, Peter.

Peter is wearing

his rain hat. It is raining.

Turn left.

Good. Turn right.

Right. That's it.

Now this one.

Um, slough. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Looks like slough. Oh, what?

Slough.

Slough. Ah, right.

Slough.

Don't. Don't.

Down. Down.

You said, oh, what, was oh.

It is.

In slough, in down, it's...

Oh, golly. I'll never get the hang of this.

Got your notebook?

Here.

Me, writing.

I thought I'd never get the hang of the reading bit. And now you know more about

trucks than any of us. I suppose so.

Cab.

Gear.

Shift.

Steering wheel.

Wipers.

Break a break, good buddy.

Smokey.

Double egg and chips and beans.

Truckers? Ha!

Better go. You're sure?

Your father's dead against it. That doesn't matter.

I want to go outside.

I want to know if it's real.

Remember, they don't always leave the window open, so if they're closed, one

pull on the rope and we'll pull you back up.

OK. 10 -4.

What? It's lorry driver for yet.

Oh. And when you're in, I'll find somewhere to hide so you can watch the

Yes. All right.

Got enough food?

Yes. Sure you won't take the outside suit?

Um, I really don't think so. I don't expect I'll leave the lorry this trip.

Well, run out of excuses.

Time to go. Put the pedal to the metal. What?

Lorry talk for go.

Good. Well, then, let's not hang about.

Except for you, Angela.

Yes, quite.

Check the strain.

Right. Over you go, then, Angela.

I say. Yes, what?

If anything happens to me. Yes?

No one's to eat Bobo. You'll be all right.

Well, if I'm not, he's to go to a good home. Right.

Where they don't eat rat. No rat eating.

That's a promise.

Okay.

Lower away.

Reach up. Good.

And three more. He's down.

Right. Pull the thread up. Right. But we'll leave it here in case he... For

he comes back. He'll come back?

Yes.

Sure.

Good luck, Angelo.

And may Arnold Brothers, Est 1905, watch over you.

Oh, dear, Pinto.

I can't see the sense of it.

In fact, there's a lot of it I can't see because it doesn't seem to be here.

There ought to be lots of wires and lots of pipes, but there ain't.

No, no, no use, Pinto.

It hasn't got an engine.

Yes, yes, all right.

Oh, well done, lads.

Just park it there, will you?

Whatever's that, Lucas?

Oh, it's a telescope.

Brings things nearer. What, goes and fetches things?

No, it just makes them look nearer.

I thought it might help us keep an eye on what the humans are up to.

Ah, good.

Here, here.

So. Young Angelo's off into the great unknown, eh?

I wonder what he'll see before he comes back. Yes, if he comes back.

And if he doesn't come back, what do I tell the Duke to have a dashery?

What do I tell his mother?

He wanted to go, Masklin.

He begged to go.

Yeah.

Anyway, someone had to find out how to drive a lorry. I can't see the Duke and

Duchess being too convinced.

No, I suppose not.

And I'll tell you something else, Masklin. What? It's going to be a job

half getting everyone down to the lorries on ropes. I know.

We'll have to think of a better way.

Here, there is a little step just by the driver's door. If we could get to that

and get a rope to the handle... No, it's too far up.

It's a small step for a man, but it's a giant leap for gnome kind.

Maskelyne!

Maskelyne! Maskelyne!

Maskelyne! Now what?

Maskelyne, I've... Oh!

Vinto Pinney, one of the readers.

Maskelyne, I've...

Oh, no.

Can you repair it? No.

I mean, I know how we can get one of the humans to drive the lorry for us. It

won't work.

We thought about it, but if we show ourselves to it... Don't matter.

Don't matter. He won't do anything.

The reason being, you'll like this, we'll have a canoe.

A canoe?

Yeah. It's in this book.

Turn it round. Turn it round.

Postage at 10 ,000 feet.

Ah, something to do with lots of shoes, is it? No, no, no, no.

What you do is, you get a canoe, you point it at the driver, and you say,

us where we want to go, or this canoe goes off.

And? And he does.

Right.

Fine.

We'll, uh, give it some thought.

Well done. Clever of me, wasn't it? Oh, yes.

Certainly.

I've just got to have a talk with... have a think about things.

Hey. I hear you.

What's a canoe?

The new, a member of the genus Conocetes and the family Bovedi,

is an African antelope with down -pointing horns.

Oh. Body length up to two metres.

Shoulder height, about 140 centimetres. Weight, up to 270 kilograms.

News inhabit grassy plains in Central and Southern Africa.

Could you threaten someone with one?

Possibly. Would there be one in the store?

Is there a pet department?

No. Then the chance is remote.

Just as well, really.

Phew.

We've got to be able to control where we're going.

You must look for an atlas or map.

What do they look like?

They may have the words atlas or map written on them.

I'll get the Albert to have a search made.

You must sleep.

You don't sleep. It is different for me.

I need a way.

They all think I know a way to do it.

I don't.

We never get all we need into a lorry.

Not in one night.

I think I know the answers.

I don't know... the answers.

Signals indicate masculine circuits in standby mode.

Resuming main task.

Masculine. What?

Is it demolition? No.

No, it's all right, Masculine.

I'm sorry to wake you, but the lorry's back.

The lorry?

Angelo!

Angelo!

Angelo!

Angelo?

But the lorry... The lorry's back.

Angelo isn't.

It's not the same lorry. They all have numbers on the front.

It's the same lorry. Are you sure he's not... The lad here found all the

shut. Yeah. There's no one in there. No. We've got to get inside. He could be in

there and hurt. It weren't our fault.

We had to wait.

There was humans all over when it came in. It's no one's fault.

Right. Some of you lower me down.

Masculine. It's a long way down.

I know.

I take too long by the stairs.

Angelo? Angelo?

Oh,

Angelo.

I forbade him to go.

Told him it would be dangerous.

Foolish of me.

Just made him more determined.

Could have happened to him. There could be dreadful things outside.

No. Oh, wow.

No, I mean there are dreadful things outside.

Yes, you see. Yeah, well, that's what I heard. But not like that. He should have

been perfectly all right if he stayed in the lorry.

I told him to stay in the lorry.

I... What?

Well, is my son still alive?

He could be.

And, uh, these things go outside, do they? All the time. There is

nothing outside.

I know this.

My son, you don't. And you think we should go

out? Yes. Will I see my son then?

It's possible.

Very well.

What do you need?

What? What do you need to make the lorry go outside?

At the moment, I suppose we need people who can help to drive the thing. How

many?

Fifty? You shall have them. Let's just succeed.

Fifty.

Fifty haberdashery.

Teach them to read. Well, not all of them.

Just far too many.

And, well,

they're common soldiers.

The Arnold Brothers, 1905 fake. We're going to need all the help we can get.

Yes. But the more books we read, the more we find out. I know.

But... And we need to find out more.

Fast. Oh.

Very well.

Baslin!

Lord Evert!

Now what?

Great find!

I've cracked it. Again. What is it this time, Binto? Come and see.

Oh, it's a great book.

Problem solved.

Come on.

So, this girl, you see, fell down this hole and there was a white rabbit with a

watch. Oh, a rabbit, a big furry thing. Yes, we know rabbits.

There were lots of them where we lived. Really?

With watches?

Well, we didn't ask them the time.

Oh. We ate them.

Oh.

Never mind the rabbit. Get to the point. Well, this girl, Alice, while she was

down this hole, she found this little bottle of stuff, see, that made her

big. Bargains galore.

Yeah, huge.

Look. Gosh.

Her head's up against the ceiling.

This stuff in the bottle, what was it? Well, it's in a bottle labelled Drink

Drink Me.

Got any of those in the store, Gerda?

Of course.

Of course.

The store?

Has everything under one roof?

Arnold Brothers S1905 will have provided it.

Terrific. Where?

Um, somewhere.

Oh. Still, it's got to be worth a search. Got to be.

If we could get just one gnome to the size of a human... I'll do it. I'll do

Vinto, Vinto. Really?

Oh. Just one gnome and he could drive the lorry. We'll organise search

comb the store.

Tonight.

Drink me.

Char.

What is it, Gerda? Found it. What, the bottle?

No, not the bottle.

Silly child. A map.

Look at this.

Africa, Asia.

Hmm.

And where are we?

In the middle, obviously.

Now we can find our way to anywhere Arnold Brothers S1905 sends us. We've

got to be able to drive a lorry. Yes.

Better try and find that bottle, then. Yeah!

But the trouble is, Thing, I don't really believe in Vinto's bottle.

Or Gerda's map.

Beliefs do not concern me. I mean, according to his map, some places are

some places are blue. It is unlikely that this is so. I found this map. I

this one's real.

It's a map of the sky at night.

I've seen it. You are correct in your assumption.

I didn't know they had names, though. The stars.

Sirius, Rigel, and this one's Wolf 359. I do not know the names.

I thought we came from one of them.

You said... They are different names.

Currently, I cannot identify them.

What was the name of the star the gnomes came from? It was called the Sun. The

Sun? But I've seen the Sun. All stars are called the Sun.

by the people who live near to them.

Oh.

And did they, um, we, visit many stars?

I have 94 ,563 registered as having been visited

by none.

God, it's... Gosh.

The norm's got to all those stars, and all I have to do is move one lorry.

Hmm.

I just hope Vincent finds that bottle.

Any love?

No. There's hold me and there's love me.

But there isn't any drink me. Oh.

What?

There's something here. A bottle.

Let's see.

Add three drops when watering.

And what your houseplants grow.

What's houseplants?

Well, tomato plants grow tomatoes, so... I should say, drink me. Well,

forget it.

Sorry, Mrs Glen.

No sign at all.

Not one bottle of drink, me.

Not in the store. Not anywhere, then.

Everything under one roof?

Oh,

well, we'll just have to... What's that racket?

Hello.

I'm back.

Where haven't I been?

And do you know what?

What? Well? I've seen the store.

From the outside.

It's beautiful.

Great columns, big glass windows full of colour.

Oh, and a big sign in one of them. A sign.

I copied it down.

Closing down sale.

And what do you people know about doctrine?

Now, where I come from, it's thick, thick, thick. all year round.

I reckon I've seen more ill people than you've had at dinners. Oh, very well.

But I will visit him every day.

No longer than two minutes.

Five. Three.

Four. Done.

Huh?

What's up with him? He's having to think. That always worries people.

And don't you let him get excited, neither.

He's very weak and feverish.

All that rattling around in them great noisy things.

Not natural.

I want to tell everyone.

There's everything out there.

Some of the things I've seen are just incredible.

Oh, you just settle down.

I'm not too happy about rats in here, neither.

You said you liked rats. Rat?

I said I liked Rat.

Just don't you let him get overexcited.

What happened? Oh, I got lost.

The lorry stopped in a big park thing and I got off. You should have stayed on

the lorry. To go to the lavatory.

And the blessed truck drove away without me.

So I climbed on another one.

And that ended up at another park.

I went looking around for another Arnold Brothers S1905 lorry, but I couldn't

find one.

I had to camp out under a sort of waste bin thing, living on odd scraps of

absolutely ghastly food.

Until, at long last, one of the store's trucks turned up.

I couldn't get into the cab.

I had to hang on underneath.

about that.

So, the driving. How do they do the driving? All here.

Uh, there.

Turn key.

One, two.

Press red button.

One, two.

Push down pedal number one with left foot.

Push big lever left and up.

One, two.

Oh, Angelo.

What does it all mean?

It's how you drive a lorry.

That gear lever thing's five times as high as a gnome.

And the big wheel, it seems quite important, Matt, is eight gnomes wide.

It's all in there.

All about the going -round -corners flasher and the horn. I'm sure. And the

-faster pedal and the go -slower pedal and the... You don't look very pleased.

You've given me a lot to think about.

That's all.

You get some sleep.

Don't worry.

Get some sleep.

But you said we could get away on a lorry.

I know, but... And now you say you don't know how to drive one. I never thought

it would be as hard as this. You mean you never knew how we could drive one?

Well, I suppose I thought the lorry sort of went where you wanted.

I didn't expect all this down -one -two, push -one -two stuff. Oh, mad...

I've seen those wheels and pedals. They're huge.

I've thought about it for ages.

Not now, Vinto, eh? You might as well listen.

It's not as if we've got anything more important to do.

Oh, well, what's the idea this time, Vinto?

Pulling the lorry with wild hamsters?

Oh, sir, it's how to capture humans.

Told you, we can't use humans.

It's got a picture in it, sir.

Gosh, they've got books with pictures of us.

No, no, no. I know this one.

Gulliver's Travels. It's just stories. It's not real.

Gnomes. In a book.

See it, masculine?

Yes. The ropes.

It's just a picture. Rimmer. The ropes.

Ropes? I can see the way. Arnold Brothers, S -1905, I can see the way.

Right,

got that German in the floor, have we? Yes, stalkers. Good. Stalkers?

Just a minute.

Well, then...

Lean the middle of the wood against the pedal.

Where's the wood from? I nicked it from the old handyman department.

Yeah, we've done that. Good lads.

Now then, push.

Fantastic.

How did you do that?

Let it up again.

That's levers for you.

Right, lads, take a break.

Thanks. Levers? Yeah, give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I

move the store. It's us we have to move. Just an expression.

And three pedals we have to move. And what about the... Steering wheel. Yeah.

thought ropes.

How do you mean? If we tie ropes to the spokes.

We could have teams of gnomes pulling one way or the other. They won't be able

to see where they're going.

Come on.

I thought you were ill. I'm all right now.

I, dear Ibs, I stand up here by the windscreen and tell them what to do. I

thought you said there were noisy things in these lorries.

Ah, yes.

Still, all right, I could do something about that.

But then there's the beer lever.

Oh, beer lever.

Ropes again? I thought so. Yeah.

Well, what with teams working the pedals, teams pulling the ropes, teams

the gear lever, it's going to take a lot of practicing.

Ah. How many nights will we get to practice?

Including the night we leave? Yeah. One? Yeah.

Impossible. We'll only have one chance, you see. No need for training. All they

have to do is push and pull when they're told.

Well, son, I'm six.

And I'll tell you, if you lined up ten gnomes and shouted pull...

Four would push and two would say pardon.

It's just gnomish nature.

And have you thought about how you're going to get everyone aboard?

Well, maybe there's a way. If we could just... You come down here tomorrow

and we'll see.

All right.

I've just seen it. A big human. It was huge.

Everything was horrible.

He needs his sleep, Portia. We need him.

The store needs him.

Maskling.

Maskling. What's that?

What? What? What is it? It started, Maskling. Started?

What started? It's the humans.

The demolition started.

Hey, Thing.

You said the demolition wasn't for ages.

14 days. It's starting now. Probably preliminary works. So what do you

we do? Leave as soon as possible.

What's that?

Oh, they're taking the carpets up. Right.

What are we going to do? Well, I think everyone ought to get as much food as

they can carry and go down to the basement, near to the garage. Just food?

There's no time.

Oh, bargains and more.

Can it be that Arnold Brothers S1905 has abandoned us in our hour of need?

I don't think so. Can it be that... What? Well, you'll never guess where the

humans are putting all this stuff.

Busy little things, ain't they? What on earth are those? Oh, some of the big

frozen humans from fashion.

Oh. Gerda reckons they're the ones who've upset Arnold Brothers S1905.

Got turned into that horrible pink stuff. Do you believe that? Well, some

Clobians say they're the really good humans who get allowed to stay in the

forever.

Very hard to understand, religion.

You're telling me.

Oh, look.

That's the lorry we want. Uh -huh. Full of stuff from the do -it -yourself

department. And some bits from Avidasherry.

Needles and whatnot.

We'll have to stop them driving it out.

They won't drive it out. How do you know? The big door won't open.

This machinery won't work.

The fuse has gone. What's a fuse?

This thing.

Won't they put another one in? They did.

But the lads have gone in and cut the wires in a couple of places.

Ah, but suppose they leave the door open?

Won't do him any good.

Not as if the lorry will go.

Need a lot of wire, Dolores, and that one ain't got quite so much anymore.

But what about... Don't worry.

I reckon we can put it back later.

That's him.

Thought of everything, haven't you? I hope so.

Better make sure, though.

Excuse me.

Useful thing, electricity.

When we leave, Thing, you won't be able to talk, will you? You need electricity

to drink. That is the case. Well, can you tell us which way we should go?

No.

However... I detect radio traffic indicative of airline activity

to the north of here. That's good, is it? It means there are flying machines.

You mean we can fly all the way home? No.

They may be the next.

step. It may be possible to communicate with the starship.

First, you must ride the lorry. Well, I should think after that anything's

possible. Eh?

Thing?

Thing! You can't switch off.

You're supposed to help us. When you are successful, we will talk again.

Thing! Thing!

I need you to sort out the driving and...

You can't just leave me like this.

Mastin, people are asking for you.

Why is the thing all dark? It's just said goodbye.

It won't help anymore.

It says we have to prove we can do things for ourselves.

It'll speak again when we're successful.

So? So it's not fair.

Everyone's relying on me, but I've got no one to rely on. I wonder if the old

abbot felt like this. I wonder how he stood it so long.

Grimmer, what am I going to do? What you'll do, Mastin, is stop...

What? Get up. Go out there and get things organised.

Look, I tried... Go on, get on with it.

You shouldn't talk to me like that. I'm the leader, you know. Of course you're

the leader. Did I say you weren't the leader? Now get out there and lead.

All right.

All right.

And learn to listen.

What? When we're successful.

When we're successful?

The thing's a machine, right? Well, yes, I know.

And machines say what they mean, don't they? It said when.

It could have said if.

It ain't steep.

It's a troll.

You want me to come down there and help you? All right.

All right. All going well, then? Well, enough.

Come on, you.

Everyone had better find somewhere soft to lie down. It could be a rough

journey. I told Torret to see to it. Don't you worry.

Right. Give me... Wait for it.

First gear.

Two, three.

Beaver, up.

Two, three.

Pedal, up.

Two, three.

Get changed.

Stop. Terrible.

What about the go faster pedal? Get it down. Get it down.

Dorcas. Hello.

Oh, it's you.

Right, keep at it. I want it dead smooth all the way up to four.

Right, Dorcas. Yes.

What? When will you be ready? With this lock, never.

So we might as well start any time and pick it up as we go along. We can't even

try steering until it's moving. Will that work?

It had better.

Yeah.

Right. Do I have to look for anything special? It just says, before moving

always use your mirror. Well, he's done that.

Right, you can come down now.

Right.

Signaler. You can tell Dorcas we're ready to start. Just a minute.

Just a minute.

Look, what's she doing on the platform? She can help me with the reading.

We're ready to start. Right you are.

Ready. Well, this is it then.

Yes. Right then.

Start the engine.

Start the engine.

Don't worry. It's always like this. Shall I get them to move forward very

slowly?

What do you think you're doing?

Signal forward.

Don't signal forward. Tell them to...

Brothers, S -1905 was right.

Everything must go. Yes, well, I'd like to go a little further.

Hello? Ready when you are. Let's go as soon as possible.

I can smell their bees all.

We only need the spark to set it off. Right.

Start the engine.

The sooner we get out of here, the better.

And look what he's got in his mouth! A cigarette? What about it? It's a light!

And there's spilled fuel!

So what happens if it goes?

Wumpf! Just wumpf? Wumpf!

The Diesel.

You too, Grimmer.

Why have we stopped?

To sort a few things out.

We'll be off again soon.

Masclin? Yes?

What's that light?

I don't know.

The door!

We got out just in time!

I hope all the humans got out.

Make arrangements.

Oh.

This string's tied to the arm of the steering wheel pull -left team leader.

When I pull, they pull. We can't rely on having a wall there every time we want

to stop.

Signal for the lights.

Lights. Not the radio. The lights.

And turn

the radio off. And Louie

gets on my nerves.

Phew. Okay.

Let's go.

For science, seeing Africa or Canada. Ah, there's a sign.

On the one -way street.

We should only go along it one way. Right.

We're going this way.

What's that? Oh, I'm sure there's something in here about... More of the

Hang on a minute.

Come on. No, listen.

It's... Look out.

What? You,

Angelo, are a total idiot. Eh? Feed mad.

You can't talk to me like that. She can call you what she likes.

Go to it, young woman. Don't you young woman me either.

Oi! If this happens one more time, people down!

Just a minor steering problem.

I haven't spent ages trying to make all this happen just to have things ruined

by a steering committee.

Understand?

I think a little bit of first gear might be in order here. But

carefully. Go ahead. Thank you.

All right by you, masculine?

Fine.

Go.

We'll have to find somewhere to stop soon.

Left touch. Hope we're going north.

We need... Oh, no.

What's the matter?

Look. Price is slashed.

More speed.

You can't drive into people.

It's not people.

It's Price is slashed. Yes, but... Here.

You didn't have to do that.

It's all right to run over, Price is Slashed.

I'm not sure it was Price is Slashed. Well, whoever it was, he's coming after

us. Wonderful.

Keep that pedal down.

Oh, run out of things to run into, have we? You used things to cut the lorry

wires when you didn't want it to go. Yes, pliers.

But it takes two gnomes to use them. Then I'll need another gnome.

Hello. CKB to one. Proceeding west along Caterbridge Road into Superstolen

Lorry. He's stopping.

You hang on here.

There's no one driving it.

summer comes. I ain't moving nowhere.

I don't mean right now, but the quarry belongs to the humans.

They'll come back sooner or later.

Oh, masculine.

The thing said our place was beyond the stars.

Arnold Brothers S -1905 means us to be here in China.

Here, why don't you ask the thing? I mean, there's electricity in the shed.

No, I don't think it's time for the thing.

Besides...

We ought to work things out for ourselves.

Think that we could ever steal one of those things?

Well, shouldn't be too hard to drive.

What? They've only got three wheels.

Not end of story.

One day, the planes could be useful.

One day, the known.

might need them.

The journey continues.