Original subtitles

[announcer] First, there was Football X-7. Then, Hockey Z-9.

But there was an obvious alphanumeric gap between them.

-So get ready for... -Croquet Y-8!

Huh, finally, the opportunity for me to show off

my mad mallet skills!

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Or a hoop with a portal.

Fine, but we're doing Demolition Derby G-48 tomorrow.

Hey, you guys seen Perry?

[all] In the house.

What's next? Stacy shows up and asks, "What you doing?"

[watch beeping]

[Candace] Perry? Perry, where are you?

There you are, my monotreme mon-amie.

It's just a hat, Carl. Why is it just a hat?

-Do you think he's invisible? -Then wouldn't his hat be floating?

Or maybe he's a ghost.

Well, the hat would still be floating, right?

They can't interact with the material world, Carl.

Use your head.

All right, Jeremy. Perry and I are all ears.

I mean, we're not like all ears.

I mean, imagine if we were all ears.

Just covered in ears.

Like, we can hear out of our elbows.

Candace, you're weird. So, what's the sitch?

I need you and Perry for a summer school project for college credit.

It's a zoology course.

Uh-huh, great. A documentary about zoo college.

It's a day in the life of an exotic animal

and Perry is the most exotic animal I know.

So, it's you and me documenting Perry all afternoon.

-Great. Sounds like a plan. I'm in. -Are you sure, Candace?

Because it looks like you may want to bust your brothers.

No, no, no, no. I can multitask.

I can bust the boys while we document Perry.

-No problem. -Great.

Just need some assistance with this equipment from the car.

You got it.

Assistant slash producer slash girlfriend at your service.

All right, Perry, stay put. Don't do much.

You know, like you usually don't do.

[footsteps receding]

[Jeremy] Documenting Perry's life all afternoon.

[echoing]

[♪ video game music playing]

♪ Fake Perry ♪

[Candace] Places, people, places.

All right, Perry.

Let's do this!

-[both] Phew! -Thank goodness you're here, Agent P.

What kept you?

Oh, you had to use an emergency Perry bot as a decoy.

Aren't you a little concerned, sir,

about all the previous models being recalled due to mechanical failure?

I estimate you've got about three hours, give or take,

before your bot goes smoke, boom, spaghetti.

Great googly moogly!

That would blow your cover with your host family.

I'll keep it brief. Doof is getting into some farm-related shenanigans,

and no good has ever come from a mad scientist

taking up animal husbandry.

-Go get him, Agent P. -In less than three hours.

[echoing] Three hours. Three hours.

Carl, is that why I signed an invoice for an echo machine?

[echoing] Machine? Machine?

♪ We had Football X-7 and Hockey Z-9 ♪

♪ We could have left it at that and been perfectly fine ♪

♪ But anyone with a little common sense ♪

♪ Could see the gap In our alphanumeric sporting events ♪

♪ Croquet Y-8 ♪

-♪ Y-8, Y-8 ♪ -♪ Croquet Y-8 ♪

♪ It's time for us to demonstrate ♪

♪ It's like croquet but there are ways to differentiate ♪

♪ Let me break it down with an equipment roll call ♪

♪ We've got oversize mallets pegs, wickets, and balls ♪

♪ Plus a few upgrades that we just resolved ♪

♪ Our core encryption's all the way from here to City Hall ♪

♪ Are you feeling lucky? Are you feeling immortal? ♪

♪ Watch us take shots through this quantum portal ♪

♪ It's another dimension we can navigate ♪

[Isabella] ♪ And if you miss the peg you can recalibrate ♪

♪ It's better than the original, no debate ♪

♪ This is not croquet ♪

♪ This is Croquet Y-8 ♪

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. ♪

-[bleats] -[Dr. Doofenshmirtz] Welcome, Perry the Plat--

Off, off. I bet you're wondering why I'm dressed

as a traditional Drusselstinian shepherd, right?

Well, that's because sheep are a part of my latest dastardly plan.

Also, I've taken up knitting. I made this adorable sweater for you.

The stitching took twice as long as the online tutorial

said it would, but... It's a little big on you, but we can fix that.

-[beep] -Ha, ha, ha.

[whirrs]

There you go, much better. Now you look like an adorable duck-billed baby.

A trapped, adorable duck-billed baby.

That's you. Coochie, coochie, coo.

Ah, yes, the eternal question, Perry the Platypus,

do you even sheep, bro?

When I was a lad, I had trouble sleeping,

so my parents told me to try counting sheep,

which is weird and not helpful.

I mean, it's not as weird as counting copper-topped whittling crabs

to get rid of leg cramps, but still, you get the idea.

Granted, we had a lot of sheep for accounting purposes,

but it just never really worked for me.

But counting sheep does work for a lot of people.

Hence, and behold, the thing that you're already beholding,

my Go-To-Sheep-Inator.

Look at Perry the Platypus. This is my favorite part.

The inator rehydrates sheep from a packet of dehydrated sheep

that I ordered off of a Drusselstinian website.

[announcer] Dehydrated sheep.

Just add water and watch them grow.

It's fun, it's easy, and profitable.

My plan is to give everyone all the sheep they can count,

putting all of Danville to sleep,

allowing me to take over the...

What? What? You're giving me that look?

You no likey? You know, they can't all be gems, Perry the Platypus.

[sighs] You really know how to take the wind

out of a guy's sails, you know that?

Hey, buddy, no! The scheme wasn't that bad!

Hey, I knitted that!

-[smacks] -[groans]

No fair! You distracted me with implied criticism!

Ah-ha! Count the sheep, Perry the Platypus.

-Count the sheep and go to sleep. -[sheep bleating]

-[beeping] -Count the sheep... [yelps]

Well, this is an unexpected escalation.

Ride on, sheep boy!

-[chittering] -Ooh, and apparently,

monotremes chitter every ten seconds.

Mark that down.

[buzzing]

Oh, hungry little guy? Let's get some footage of Perry eating.

Candace?

[yelping] Gotta call Mom.

-[phone dialing] -[hissing]

-Argh! -[thuds]

Wait, where are they? [echoes]

-Candace. Hey, Candace. -Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be right there.

-I need help finding his food. -Oh, right. Food.

Yeah, he likes that. I'm coming!

Sorry, Jeremy. I got distracted.

I know. Let's up the production value.

Come here, Perry. It's showtime.

I've got this multitasking thing down.

A well-balanced diet is vital

to the health of any semi-aquatic mammal.

-[screaming] -I don't think he likes it.

Do all platypi do that, or is that a Perry thing?

No, platypuses don't do much.

Perry, wait up!

Candace?

You got this, Jeremy!

Get back here!

[beeping]

Hey, Perry the Platypus, did you know that the plural of sheep

is also sheep? Isn't that boring?

[sheep bleating]

What about sheeps, or sheepuses, or sheeples?

Have as many sheeples as you want, Perry the Platypus,

I can always make more!

[laughs]

Wait, wait, wait, stop flocking towards me!

You're not supposed to flock in such a spherical manner!

Ow, Mom, ow! I'm, ow! Jeremy, ow! On the way, ow! Are building, ow! Croquet, ow!

Huh, this is behavior we've never seen before.

Ow!

Uh, you okay there, hon?

Yeah, I mean, it's cool. I got this, though.

Jeremy and I are working on his Perry film project.

Also, the boys have a project you should see.

Oh, did you say you were doing a Perry movie?

This I have to see. I'm on my way.

Yes!

[coughs] What?

-Jeremy? -[coughing]

Oh, do all platypi emit smoke like this?

[bleating]

Hey, my sheep! My yarn!

My Inator! [grunting furiously]

Now, now, how is this supposed to put anyone to sleep?

Oh, I see. Oh, I see. You're re-dehydrating them. Okay, good.

Wait, but you missed this ball.

[grunts]

-[beeping] -Well, all's wool that ends wool.

Wait, a little help? Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Mom will be here any minute. I can do it all!

I'm a multitasking master!

Ugh. Actually, I think this multitasking thing is overrated.

It's too many taskings.

[all] Croquet Y-8!

[all cheer]

Croquet just needed a few well-timed portals

and pyrotechnics. Who knew?

Ah! Sudden sheep! And they're flocking this way!

[Buford] Wow, that's a lot of sheep!

Seeing as there are 34 sheep in the circumference,

if we calculate the sheep radius

multiplied by y divided by three pi r squared,

-you would get... -589 sheep.

[both snoring]

Candace, I think we got some great footage.

Aww... And finally, after a very exotic day,

our monotreme takes a moment to not do much.

Grabbing a well-earned cuddle with everyone's favorite

hard-working assistant slash producer slash girlfriend.

Oh, gotta charge my phone.

[snoring]

[zaps, hisses]

Yeah, Perry does this all the time.

Yeah, you said it, Perry. There, there you are, Perry.

[muffled explosion]

Two cutie-patooties.

All right, kids, everybody in for snacks.

Hey, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, you wanna see the footage of Perry?

Ooh, absolutely. Come on, kids.

-And somebody wake up Baljeet. -Ah! I'm up, I'm up.

I can't believe you bought an entire sheep farm

and didn't think to get any sheep?

-No, I ordered some. -[sheep bleating]

No, not those. They're being delivered this afternoon.

Oh.

[♪ rock music playing]

♪ Do you want to be strong as a tank? ♪

♪ But you need a gym that won't break the bank ♪

♪ You'll sweat so much that you'll really stink ♪

♪ But when you see the results you'll be sure to thank me ♪

♪ When you come on down to Doofnasium ♪

♪ Don't sit on the couch and be a lazy bum ♪

♪ If you want things that are crazy-ium ♪

♪ Just come on down today♪

♪ Doofnasium ♪