Original subtitles

[narrator] Once upon a time, deep in the forest,

dwelled an old huntsman and his wife.

And more than anything, they wanted a family.

[arrow lands]

[chittering]

[squawks]

[chomps]

[thunderclap]

[opening theme music playing]

Okay, we need flour, like a heap of flour.

Hey, guys, check out all this stuff I swiped.

- The samples are free. - I'll be right back.

Ah.

Here we go.

Sustainably milled, ultra-refined.

Ooh.

Maybe you can compromise on some of your ingredients?

[gasps] Would you compromise your sound?

Actually, I'm thinking of writing some new songs

for the show.

Really?

Yeah, I don't know about what.

You could write one about me.

You are quite a-muse-ing.

[cell phone ringing]

Unknown?

Hello?

[woman] Marshall,

I heard you got kicked out of your squat.

If there's anything I can do...

Jeez, Mom.

Sorry, can't hear you.

Nope, I gotta do it.

[grunts]

[both grunt]

Whoa. Oh, sorry.

I was distracted.

[gasps]

And they told me I was the perfect candidate

for their hybrid program.

And I was like, yes.

[sighs] Do you really think Fionna's plan is gonna work?

If you asked me a month ago, I would have said no.

But since she got back, she's really got it together.

[cell phone vibrating]

[woman] Hey, Fionna. How are you doing?

I just wanted to let you know I set up

a Parks Department meeting at 5:00.

Don't be late, okay?

[groans]

Time to get up.

[groans]

[on radio] DJ Slime coming to you

this beautiful afternoon.

Today is a new day.

[groans] And I have a fundraiser to organize

and promote.

Last night's DJ Flame show was packed.

Seems like just yesterday our golden boy was doing

tiny garage shows.

Huh. Yeah. How did he get so big?

[gargles]

[DJ Slime on radio] I don't know how he got so big.

And not only is he a world-class hunk,

the kid's a PR whiz.

[gasps] I need DJ Flame.

Uh, I need to talk to him.

Keep your panties on, though, ladies.

He's taken. [imitates kissing]

No, no, this is strictly professional.

What you can get into your panties

is his latest single, which I'm giving away.

Call now.

I could call him.

Actually, I don't have his number anymore

since I got a new phone.

But I do know all his hangouts.

- What are you waiting for? - Nothing!

[speaking in other language]

[all] Good luck.

[reviewer] So what's the verdict?

I'm giving Prismo's pickles an eight or nine on crunch.

That's an all-time high on the show.

Hell yeah! My pickles rip.

I'm really into cornichons lately.

I'm thinking about them right now.

Hey.

[Prismo] Oh, look who it is.

- Hey, Simon. - Oh, yes.

Hey.

Hey, Scarab.

What up, man? You miss me already?

We want to make a wish to cure Finn.

He's in critical condition.

Ugh.

It feels like the time core is a couple milliseconds

out of sync.

- Could you check on it? - Yes, mighty Prismo.

So lately, I'm having kind of a wish-granting problem.

Look.

Ugh, sorry, guys. I got no wish dazzle left.

What happened to you, P? You used to be magnificent.

I...

You made me walk all that way for nothing.

Okay, guys, you're welcome. Bye!

But you did...

- Hmm. - Eh.

I guess wish magic is off the table.

I mean, unless you know another wish master.

Fi! I got your text.

Don't worry, we're good.

Fionna?

Fionna?

Fionna?

Oh!

[squeaking]

Mm-mmm.

- [cell phone vibrating] - Hello?

- Am I talking to Cake the Cat? - Mm-hmm.

This is GF speaking, talent coordinator for Cheers.

- Cheers? - Yes, the Cheers.

We were just looking at your headshots and bio.

Are you the head writer?

No, I'm not the head writer. I'm the talent coordinator.

And I'd like to book you for a guest appearance.

- Well, sure. - Fantastic!

Can you come down to the studio right now?

- I'll text you the address. - On my way.

Everyone on TV makes big bucks.

I might save The Sweet Spot just by being me.

[growling]

[couple laughing]

Ooh.

I guess he moved.

[bit music playing]

What do I file this under?

Yes, hello. Do you buy ethnic records?

- My mother had these. - Uh, we'll take a look at them.

Gotta be careful with these, new girl.

Phelix! Are you stalking me?

Nah, I come in here all the time.

I hope I don't get fired then.

What time do you get off?

[carnival music playing]

[mumbles, grunts, yelps]

Whoa, lady.

- You okay? - My stupid jerk boss

just fired me for giving out too many prizes.

The game is rigged anyway.

Rigged?

Say what?

Yeah, and the toys cost nothing.

I just hate seeing kids cry.

You don't want to hear some rando go off

about this dump.

Nah, give me the dirt.

They serve stale popcorn.

They even made me buy that stupid apron.

Their world's tiniest horse sideshow is actually

a regular-sized pony.

Next, you're gonna tell me the haunted house

doesn't actually have ghosts.

Sorry.

I know what might cheer you up.

The Ferris wheel?

- [blows raspberry] - Have you ever ridden it?

It's too old and rickety.

Come on, just give it a chance.

I told you this thing was crap.

All right, it's not the worst view.

- I'm Fionna, by the way. - Phelix.

[grunts]

Uh-oh.

[Fennel] Oh, no, it's closed. Bummer.

Fionna, I wasn't expecting...

How are you?

Uh, hey, Hunter.

Fennel? Fionna.

- Hey. - Hi.

I love that cardigan.

Oh.

Uh...

What are you two guys doing here?

We were in the neighborhood grabbing lunch,

and I thought we could go on the wheel.

Me and Flame always ride it when we're here.

Hey, you ready for the meeting with the Parks Department?

Oh, crap! I gotta change!

Nice meeting you!

Take a left on 100 South Orange Street.

And...

Hot damn!

- Cake! - Yo!

- I want money. - Fantastic.

MG, show Cake around.

See you on set, doll face.

Here, you can start practicing your lines.

Mmm.

The cast is very excited to meet you.

[gasps]

- Stretchy Cat! - Welcome to Cheers.

Okay, got ten minutes to get ready.

No time for little Ferris wheel rides.

I've got a big-ass fundraiser to throw.

Ain't nothing's gonna stop me!

Aw, mouse jerky. Hmm?

What are you?

[chitters]

Oh, my God. You're so cute.

Ow!

Poor thing. Are you hungry?

Ham sando?

Whoa. You're not from around here, huh?

Where are you going?

[sniffing]

- What did you find, baby? - Hey, stop!

[woman] He's friendly.

[both] Perfect angel.

[grunts]

[both] Ooh!

Actions have consequences!

[grunts, groans]

[gasps] Plant girl!

Gotcha! Phew.

[stomach grumbles]

Let's get you really fed.

[sighs]

[shivers]

Was it always this cold? Oh.

Long time no see.

- [all hissing] - [yelps]

[man laughs]

Hi, Daddy!

Hi, Gunt-- Ice Thing.

I came to ask you for a favor.

I need the demonic wishing eye to save Finn.

Finn.

- Will you let us use it? - Sure, you can borrow it.

- Oh, great. - But you gotta watch me first.

[chuckles]

[scatting]

[jazz music playing]

[vocalizes]

- A tiny what? - Look, I'll fill you in.

Just meet me at the corner grocery store ASAP.

- You're on. - Be there when I can.

Roll sound, camera.

- Scene Apple, take one. - Action.

[narrator] Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience.

I can't believe you won back the bar.

The universe must love me, Carla.

[all] Cake!

What can I get you?

I'll have a, um...

Okay.

Screwdriver.

Make it a double.

[audience laughing]

A cat who can change shapes? That's a stretch.

Can't you see that this magnificent creature

is akin to Proteus of Greek lore?

No, but I can tell you're a geek poor.

At least I can see over the bar, Carla.

Ah, don't get bent out of shape.

[all laughing]

That's why the kids call me Elongato.

Wait, are these all stretching jokes?

Psst.

Can you stretch into a dragon? I love dragons.

[all chanting] Stretchy cat! Stretchy cat! Stretchy cat!

When you stretch, I laugh good.

[all chanting] Stretch! Stretch! Stretch!

Give them what they want, stretchy cat!

[chanting continues] Stretch! Stretch!

Grrr. Fine.

[exclaims]

[all screaming]

Oh.

[all groaning]

[all screaming]

[gasps] Please don't kill me.

[gasps]

[audience booing]

What's good?

You really went ham on my ham sandwich.

All right, you love meats, I guess.

- Good girl. - Campbell!

- [screams] - I thought we fired you.

Oh, you fired me, all right.

But now I'm on the other side of the register.

Nudie!

- [gasps] Get her out of here! - Come on.

Weren't you young and naked once?

Backup on aisle three. Exposed hams

near the exposed hams.

[exclaims, yelps]

Ah! Beet.

Follow the beet to the roots.

Beet, root, beet, heart, beat.

The heart of the forest is my way home.

You're an even worse customer.

- [gasps] Plant girl! - The heart of the forest.

Huh?

Heart of the forest.

Wait up! Follow that plant girl!

Quest!

Whoa!

Where is it?

Oh.

Ugh. None of these.

Hey! What the heck are you doing?

I'm trying to get back to Ooo.

You're from Ooo? Let us help you!

No!

I'm calling Simon.

Why is this happening?

Simon, there's somebody from your world here.

She's like if a shrub was a person.

Huntress Wizard?

Simon wants to talk to you.

[gasps] Give it.

Is Finn alive?

He's in stasis for now.

Have you found a cure?

I'm handling it.

How did you even get to Fionnaworld?

Huntress?

- I can't tell you. - For the love of...

What really hurt Finn?

- Green wizards only. - Why are you being so cagey?

Stay out of my way, princess.

What? And just let Finn die? Because that's what you're...

[grunts]

[exhales]

[both exclaiming]

[panting]

I can sense this world has a heart, but it's so quiet.

I can't believe I lost all my contacts again.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic...

We can't count on her.

Did you know the cast of Cheers is tiny?

Yeah, of course. Everyone on TV is like three inches tall.

[gasps]

[panting]

[Fionna] Phelix! Phelix!

Hey! We keep running into each other.

[laughs] Yeah, except I was actually looking for you.

All day.

Is that so?

I have something super important I want

to pick your brain about.

Could we grab a coffee?

Um, tomorrow I could do a late lunch.

- How about 2:30 at Okay Poke? - That would be great!

Awesome!

Hey, I'm gonna keep moving while my heart rate's up.

Um, I'm glad you found me.

Yeah, me too.

What's up? I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Mmm.

I have a chair just like that.

- [cell phone vibrates] - Hello?

Yeah, she's here.

It's Hunter.

- Hey, H. Huh? - Where have you been?

The Parks Department meeting.

Crap! I knew I'd forget.

They heard you were running around naked

in a grocery store?

That wasn't me this time.

It was my new naked friend, and she needed my help.

Also, I ran into DJ Flame and...

Flame.

Fionna, I kind of stuck my neck out for you.

I'm sorry, but it was an emergency.

Look, I'll talk to you later.

Oh, follow the beet.

- Hm? - What is that?

Oh, I still have rent.

[closing theme music playing]