Original subtitles

Hello.

These days I spend more and more time in my Wiltshire home, and the pub I own,

thinking about all the big problems in the world, and some smaller ones that

annoy me.

Luckily there's a place I can go to solve them all, or at least try.

My shed.

Right.

It's here that I have the tools. Let's just sort some wood up. The tea.

And a couple of other highly competent blokes.

Very good.

Brace yourself.

Who've agreed to help me rid the world of problems.

Great.

And small.

The cereal has gone soggy. I'll also have to take on other people's problems.

What is wrong with Peter?

He used to make a sound and now he doesn't. By which I mean the locals at

who are always bringing me stuff to mend.

Is it a train set?

So join us and our excitable crew who will capture our endeavour.

That was epic.

As we create, make,

That feels like a terrible thing you've just done.

Repair so it's never worked.

Not in my lifetime.

And repurpose... Whoa!

In my shedload of ideas. What do you think? This is just brilliant.

Here in Wiltshire.

My mates and I spend a lot of time in my big shed solving problems.

Simmy lends us his engineering expertise.

Yes. While Tony chips in with his top -notch carpentry skills.

Huzzah!

And today we're taking our combined wisdom out of the workshop and into a

particularly pretty cinema in nearby Salisbury.

Can I have a popcorn, please?

Oh, there we are.

Oh, fantastic.

Thank you. You're welcome.

With cinema attendance in the UK in decline, we think we might just be able

eliminate one of the problems that could be putting people off.

I will now demonstrate with these two and the crew.

So here you are at the cinema with your mates. You're about to watch one of your

favourite films of all time. And then this happens.

I mean, that is exactly in the way of the screen.

And if that's bad for me, and I'm reasonably tall, imagine what it's like

these people entering the cinema now, if they sit behind us.

We've known about this for as long as we've had cinemas. In fact, as long as

we've had theatres, which goes back to Nell Gwynn and people like that. And the

fact is, cinemas have a raked floor.

Obviously, this has a very typical one.

It's about four degrees, but it's nothing like good enough. Because if we

Ethan, if you wouldn't mind standing up.

Here's the tallest member of this crew.

And then we put him next to our smallest member, who is Lottie, here.

Look at the difference in height. It is interesting that all people, it doesn't

matter whether they are...

massive unit, massively overfed like Ethan, or lofty, undernourished and

small, the distance between the centre of the eyes and the top of the head is

always pretty much the same. If you wouldn't mind turning around, Ethan, you

will see, even on his enormous bonds, that distance is roughly the same. So

cinema seats ought to be arranged so that that distance is the distance that

next row's eyes...

above the head of the person in front. So why not simply say small people have

to sit at the front of the cinema and big people have to sit at the back?

That would make sense. Except, as Lottie points out, she's got a massive

boyfriend because she didn't have the decency to go out with someone her own

size. So we'd have to split them up. We'd have Lottie at the front and her

boyfriend right on the back row. And they can't have a snog like that, let's

honest. So I think there might be a more sophisticated solution to this.

And I think...

We can probably come up with it.

And in just the time it takes to watch Battle of Britain, the director's cut,

and get back to the shed, we have indeed come up with an idea for adjustable

seats designed to equalise the cinema viewing experience.

Now, obviously, the cinema seats have to go up and down. We have some old cinema

seats.

And we have these screw jacks of a type that you use to raise your car up before

changing a wheel. What do we think?

So I think all we need to do is we'll make up a little steel frame which we

weld to this. This is our seat. Which will be on our frame like so.

A couple of back supports coming up to here.

How are we supporting them?

So we've got a little steel frame that will go under here welded to the jack so

it's solid.

Come up to here and we'll pick up.

into the wood at the right angle in the right hike

that seems like a very low

seat that is but we could put riser blocks underneath well this is the

so that should be our kind of set height so they'll have to be on riser blocks

therefore we have to calculate how big a riser block we put underneath it

105mm. So if we know now that that is our height of our plinth...

So riser blocks are 150.

That's not complicated.

This is probably how the satin fibre was developed. Somebody wrote 150 on a

bench and drew a box around it and then they knew, right, we've got it. So we

need to make the plinth and we need to make the steel work at the same time,

ideally.

We now know the height our riser block needs to be for the jack to sit on to

bring the seat to its correct starting height.

First, Simi gets to work on the steel frame for the seat, while Tony and I

a box plinth which will act as the riser block.

That's near enough for government work.

This involves a lot of measuring, sawing and

screwing.

While Simi sets about welding the steel frame, which joins our old cinema seat

to the jack, Tony and I do some more measuring, sawing,

than screwing to make the box plinth the jack will hit on. Now all we need to do

is put it all together and we are ready to test our prototype seat.

It's quite heavy, that.

I hate that noise.

Right, rest.

To begin with, should we put somebody small?

We could put somebody small. Or light.

Light. So that's not you, not you.

All right, all right. Who would like to be the first person to sit in the

elevating cinema seat?

When you say like, I mean, I will do it.

Well, you're the lightest. OK.

What do I hold on to?

Well, you're not going to be launched. It's going to go up a bit.

Don't be alarmed.

Yes!

Yeah, thanks.

What did you do at work today, darling? Well, I wound Lucy up and down.

I think that's too wobbly.

Yeah, I mean, it's not comfortable.

This isn't really very good, is it?

Well, we might have to have a little rethink.

So the screw jacks are a lot wobblier than we realise when it doesn't have a

steadying it. But what if they were the hydraulic jacks instead?

Lower to pump up, but they'd be much more stable.

Yes.

Do you mind stepping off a minute?

No, not at all.

The other way is to make a mechanism that stays rigid and has the

jack just as the lift.

Oh, that's... Yes.

It's just a lot of work.

It is a lot of work.

While Timmy starts work designing the new hydraulic jack -powered box

structures, Tony and I head to the pub.

And as usual, and because of my reputation for mending things, we've

there about five minutes when a local, in this case Peter, turns up with some

weird brown thing.

Hello. Hello, Peter.

Hello.

James, how are you? Nice to meet you. Tony, nice to meet you. Have you brought

cannon? It's not a cannon, it's actually... Oh, it's a telescope.

Oh, it's a beauty, isn't it?

Where did that come from?

My wife bought it on eBay a few months ago, but it does come with a nice

backstory.

It was brought back from India on an around -the -world QE2 cruise in, I

believe, the late 70s, early 80s. Does that mean stolen?

Acquired. Acquired, yes, I like it.

Quite heavy, isn't it? I suppose that's why it comes with a tripod.

It doesn't seem to quite work.

No.

Has it ever worked?

I don't know. It's basically like looking at the world without your specs

Do you know, that could be a micro -focus, a micro -adjustment. So the

does move out. Move your fingers further out, that bit.

Ah. Does that move that slightly?

Doesn't appear to.

But should it?

So usually there's a gear mechanism now, like a rack of pinions. So my thoughts

are that inside the end there, there may be some sort of thread that connects to

it or do it once upon a time.

To try out Tony's theory, we mount Peter's telescope on its tripod and see

can focus on something.

Everything is still blurry.

That doesn't do anything.

Oh, wait.

Close things are almost in focus.

So all the optics seem to line up.

Yes, I'm looking at that power cable. That's nice and crisp.

The trees far away are blurry, so I think you're right, Tony, that rotating

should gear that very precisely.

Tools?

A lot of old telescopes used to unscrew, didn't they?

Oh. Have you done this before?

Right, now you're on to something.

So basically this has to move, but quite precisely, in order for what you're

looking at at a particular distance to be in focus.

But Peter has a concern which may scupper the whole project.

It could well be what's known as a furniture piece.

A whaty? A furniture piece.

Ah, a shell scope.

This quite possibly was never intended to work as a telescope. It was just

to look cool in your beachfront house.

There is a possibility.

Be careful there's not a pin in here. Exactly.

Shall I take it off over this blotted table over the garden? Take it off over

hand. So you can see inside there the thread.

So when you rotate that, a pin that would locate in the thread would be

one way or pushed the other way.

and Tony has just found that whatever that pin was appears to have sheared

Peter, this might be good news.

I'm pleased to hear it. I think this does suggest that it's a bit more than

ornamental, because someone's gone to the trouble of machining quite a

sophisticated thread in there, which would suggest to me that this is, in

meant to work.

So how the hell does it come out?

Does the eyepiece come off?

Yeah, that bit unscrews. That was loose earlier. Then we pull it through the

other way.

No. It's here. Oh.

Where? There.

Oh.

Got it. There you go. That's the culprit.

That's what's broken.

So in order to mend it, we will have to remake this piece.

with two countersunk holes to allow it to be screwed to the movable part of the

eyepiece, and then with a pin, the exact dimensions of which we will have to

work out using a micrometer, that inserts in this hole and engages on the

of that. Put it all back together, mount it on the tripod, point it out to the

sea, and say, I see no ships.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a lathe job.

So, can Tony and I, and the lay, fix Peter's telescope?

Well, I for one can't wait to find out.

Welcome back to Wiltshire, where we've been entrusted with the task of

Peter's busted telescope.

The problem we have identified is that this ring, which is now broken, as you

can see,

fits around the middle of this tube and has on it, or did have on it, a pin

which acts in an inverted worm gear inside there that you turn with that,

that makes the eyepiece move in and out and focuses it. So we've got to remake

this, which is the job for the lathe. Tony here.

has never used a metalworking lathe, or the engine lathe, as it's sometimes

called. I have found this old flywheel that I accidentally made to completely

the wrong dimensions many years ago.

And we can, I believe...

fashion out of that, the new ring, the ratio dictated by the gear. Before Tony

can have a go, he has to have a lathe tutorial.

That is the paddle, which moves that way.

That is the cross slide, which moves that way. And this is called the

slide. The way it's set up at the moment, it moves backwards and forwards,

fine feed version of that. But you can also set it at angles to do clever

like screw cutting.

Hope you got all that, Tony.

There are no safety features. There isn't even an emergency stop on this.

have to hit that with your knee. There's no chuck guard.

I missed then and hurt my knee, but that's what you do, OK?

Ow!

Are you going to hit it again, James? Not really, no.

I'm not sure who's more nervous about this, Tony or me.

Start lathe.

Right, I'll now turn it to the 10 ,000.

That's fair enough.

We will now bear witness to the genesis of the new inner ring for Peter's

telescope. A tiny bit more.

And Tony's love affair with the lathe.

So, that's indoctrination over and a new brass ring well on the way.

Sarah, my other half says James has gone into his workshop to make a piece of

metal into a smaller piece of metal, because that's actually all you can do.

now it's an exquisite piece of metal. Exactly.

Do you think you'll get one?

Yeah, definitely.

It's addictive already.

It is.

You either really get it, or you think it's the dullest thing in the world,

which, to be honest, most of my mates do.

But I don't care.

With Tony now a card -carrying member of Lathe Club, I leave him to finish the

ring and the pin for the telescope under the watchful eye of Simmy.

We're going to put these holes in and they have to line up because these holes

are pre -drilled and ready. We want to be able to put screws, these little tiny

screws, back into those holes once we've drilled the new holes.

To make the holes, they're using my milling machine.

Two of the holes will attach the ring to the telescope tube and the other is for

the pin that will move the eyepiece to control the focus.

Clearant holes with count thunks. Yep.

Next, Tim taps the hole for the pin, which they make from an old screw.

Do you want to just do it freehand?

Which, in turn, is turned on the lathe to get it to the right size.

That's got to be it, doesn't it?

And we'll find out if it all fits, and by we, I mean you and me, viewers, when

Tony hands in his homework later on.

Now, I've asked Tim to meet me at the pub, which is also a popular B &B.

Less popular, though, is a problem facing me and my fellow B &B owners.

And if you're one of the 87 % of adults who eat breakfast cereal every day,

you'll have come across it too.

Crunchy. Crunchy is nice. But by the time you're about halfway through the

bowl... The cereal has gone soft and soggy, and we don't want that. So we

wondering, is there a way of eating breakfast cereal, a bowl of breakfast

cereal, in such a way or with such a device that means it is always crunchy

the way till the end?

And Simi's had a bit of an idea.

Maybe we need to introduce the milk.

At the point of entry into your mouth.

To the workshop.

So, our aim is to solve soggy cereal and in so doing, reduce the amount we chuck

away at the pub and in homes everywhere.

Fortunately, one of us has an idea about how we might do that.

So I've got this plan.

So we put a spoon onto a straw.

And we mould the straw to the underside of the spoon. You want to flatten the

end a little bit.

And then we have a flexible tube at this end going into your bottle of milk or

your orange juice or whatever you fancy.

Orange juice?

Do people eat breakfast cereal with orange juice? Yes, indeed.

Do they? In Norway.

Do they?

Yeah. I didn't know that. They think it's very weird. We bought pound juice.

I've been to Norway quite a few times.

I said you were a bit weird when I was there, and I was right.

You'll be able to put this in your mouth and suck up the required amount of

fluid that you require.

Are we going to base it on this spoon?

I think similar.

Because it doesn't need to be dished as much as that, because it's not holding

any liquid.

Are you talking about making a spoon?

Yeah. Oh.

How are you going to make a spoon?

It's not something I've ever done.

It's not something I've ever done either.

So I think we should just mark out our ideal shape.

It's a very thin bit of copper.

Yes. Which I think, at the end of the day, when this is soldered to it, it

give it a nice bit of strength because it will be like a spine running down the

whole thing. Yes. It will be very good. So I think we can mark it out.

Tin snips.

Yes. Bit of sanding.

We'll heat it up a little bit to anneal it. Yes, that means make it go softer.

It does make it go softer.

And then we'll hammer it out.

OK.

Spoons are normally made out of stainless steel because it's rust

we're making our sauce spoon out of copper because it's soft and malleable,

which will come in handy at the next stage.

That is like man's first spoon.

It's like the genesis of the spoon. They thought, this looks useful, I'm sure we

can improve it, maybe make it a bit dished and a bit more rigid, but I think

we're on to something.

Next, we hammer out the dished part of the spoon, easily done with malleable

copper. Here you go, James.

That is incredible.

So it doesn't look very impressive, but it's a long process. And what has

happened here is we've started off with a piece of soft copper, but the process

of hammering it has hardened it because its work hardens, as the expression is.

It happens very quickly with copper. So the thing we have to do next is anneal

it.

which is a way of saying soften it again.

We do that by heating it up and then allowing it to cool naturally, then it

be soft again. We'll probably have to do that several times before Sim arrives

at the final shape of the spoon, which, let's be honest, is a way off.

But not for long, as Sim heats, hammers, heats

again, hammers again,

and again.

until we're ready for stage two.

And next we're going to join to it the copper tube that will deliver the milk,

orange juice, whatever.

So we need to work out its length and then shape it as close as possible to

spoon. Then we'll bind it with some fuse wire and solder it, and then we can

test it.

So, after some cutting and shaping...

It's time to bind the tube to the spoon using a small clamp and Timmy's expert

soldering.

I tend to bugger up soldering, so I'm just giving it to you to do.

It's going to happen.

We're going to warm the whole piece first.

There she blows.

I'm going to do spoon.

There you've got that bit.

I'm going to have to do a spoon in.

Going.

Bit more in the front. That bit gone.

Grand.

Oh, that's filled that nicely. Look at that.

Well, that's the bit going in your mouth, so... In your mouth.

It's a spoon, and I think it's pretty good.

Shall I?

It's going to work.

Is it? It tastes absolutely horrible. I'm not so sure baker's fluid is that

good. Oh, God.

Oh.

Ignore her. Hardly corrosive, so it's partly acidic.

It might be worse for your mouth.

Oh.

Is it just water?

That's how it is. It's just water.

Thank you. And rinse, don't swallow.

Welcome back to Wiltshire and my pub, where we've been tackling the previously

insurmountable problem of soggy cereal by inventing... ..the sauce

spoon. It's inaugural.

outing let's see if it works i have here the other vital component the food safe

plastic tubing which goes into my milk like so

is everybody ready i'm going in oh that's a good start

is that?

It only works.

Wow.

That's got to be the best thing I've ever seen.

There's nothing else I can say about that.

It works exactly as intended and it's perfect.

Every mouthful is like the first one.

Do you want to try it?

I'll wipe it off for you.

I'm intrigued.

Genuinely, it works.

That is genuinely the best thing.

It's fantastic.

What's surprising is how little milk you use.

It's truly brilliant on every level.

It saves weight, improves the breakfast -dining experience, it keeps

your cereal crunchy.

There is an elephant in the room, though, which is the

Norwegian way.

You brought it up.

I'll do it.

This is for Norway.

That's really stupid.

Honestly.

Norwegians, come on.

Get a grip.

Do you want to try that? That feels wrong.

Really wrong.

Barbaric.

It's a bit weird.

So I know a lot of you think that we fake things for television and ham it

but I promise you that that simple idea, the sauce spoon, works, and it works

brilliantly. That will become an essential component of the British

along with cereal.

And this.

Cheers.

It's what the Victorians did and everybody admires them.

And look at this, we started this scene just a few minutes ago, Simi's

cornflakes, where he put the milk on straight away, they are now... Mush.

that is mush, isn't it? Whereas mine, my crispy rice things... are still

perfectly dry and crunchy and could even go back in the box if I decided I'd had

enough. Absolutely zero waste.

Soggy cereal solved.

I head back to the shed to wait for Tony, who's hopefully been as successful

finishing off the new inner ring for Peter's telescope.

James, I have the ring.

Oh, three holes.

in perfect position, tapped and countersunk.

That's a fabulous bit of finishing off work there, Tony. Now, we know it fits

the tube because, well, because frankly, I turned the inside diameter.

Oh, that's very satisfying.

When we give this telescope to Peter and he rotates the sleeve and focuses it,

he'll say, oh, great, thanks. He'll have no idea.

Ah, yeah. How much head -scratching and hard work went into this, because it

will never be seen, because it's inside. But we will know, and so will God.

This is self -satisfying, my first bit of lathing work.

But will Tony's first bit of lathe work pass muster? This is the other way

round, isn't it?

We've got to get this the right way round.

Time to find out as we reassemble the telescope.

This is quite exciting, isn't it? Very exciting.

Ah.

Poetry.

That's pretty good, isn't it?

It's very good.

I think you've done an excellent job there, Tony.

Well done, you.

Have the rest of the day off.

Proper team effort.

Tony can't actually have the day off, as now the telescope's optical tube is

fully rotating and expanding.

It's time to set sail to the pub and hand it back to the captain of the ship.

Hello, Peter. Hello, hello, hello.

Please have a seat. Thank you very much. Wow.

Here is your telescope.

It's in one piece. It's in one piece. Only just. It doesn't look very

We did consider polishing it, but then we decided we liked the patina of use

also Tony couldn't be... So...

We have, however, mended it. Would you like to know what we've done? I would

love to know.

Are you sitting comfortably?

I certainly am.

When we took it apart in front of you, when you first brought it to the pub, we

revealed this broken inner ring.

I made the ring on the lathe.

You then calculated the position of the... Nothing is symmetrical on this

No, it's all completely on the clock. Every ring, the screw holes are in

different positions. Of course.

Are you ready?

Would you like to do it yourself?

I'd love to. Just wind the collar and... And this comes out.

Yes. Wow. Smooth as well.

Very smooth.

Thank you very much. What can I say?

Let's try it. OK.

Right, if you position it there... Yep. Yep, mine's in.

Sir. OK.

Is it in focus?

Getting there.

There we go. That's in focus.

Might as well have a look. Yeah.

I was on the tower at the top.

Good God.

It's a telescope.

Look at that. It works.

It's good, isn't it?

I hope you enjoyed working on it. We did enjoy working it out.

Right, sir.

It's yours to take away.

Thank you very much indeed.

Absolute pleasure.

OK. I hope your wife enjoys it. Of course she will. Thank you.

Well... Pint?

Yeah, let's have a pint.

Tony and I might be able to relax with a pint, but over at the workshop, Simi is

still busy grappling with the prototype for the adjustable cinema seat.

Action. Replacing our wobbly jack contraption with a new design that

box inside a box, he starts by building both the internal and external boxes

from plywood.

Next, he installs a more compact RAM that can be controlled remotely.

Then he cuts out a little space for the wires before screwing on the lid that

the seat will attach to and allow the jack to push up that internal box.

Now all that remains is to find out if we've managed to put an end to cinema

-going misery for the ages.

We've returned to Salisbury, where we're back at the cinema.

installing our height -adjustable seats to see if we can improve the visual

experience for our audience, also known as the crew.

They are still on jacks, but they now run in boxes for stability.

They are powered up and down by electrical motors, and I have here a

remote controls for adjusting them. Now, in the final version, this is a

prototype, of course.

This job will be done by computers and a laser, but for the moment it's done

with a folding ruler.

I would like to invite tonight's audience to come into the cinema and

places, please.

Wherever you'd like to sit, it doesn't matter. All the seats are currently set

at their midway point. They can go up and down.

Who can currently see the screen?

Obviously, yes, you can.

Simmy? Tony?

No. Right, OK. So, I'm going to suggest that Ethan, because you're very tall,

you, sir, have to go down. And here you go.

How's about that, then?

You are now at the lowest setting, sir.

And just to show you that this can all be...

consistent and really quite scientific. If I consider Tony's face, it's a

horrible prospect, I know, but his eyes are not quite high enough by, ooh, what

would we call that, two inches?

He needs to go up two inches in order to see over Ethan, so I will now do that.

So you, Tony, are going up, sir.

Oh, yeah. Tell me when you can see.

Yep. Okay.

Shula, I'm assuming you can't see over Tony.

This makes a fantastic noise, doesn't it?

It adds to the tension and excitement of going to the cinema.

You can see?

So now it's Simmy, but I'm going to give you an extra inch.

Will, can you see?

No, for once I actually can't see anything because he's been raised up.

he's been raised up so that he can see, but it's okay because I can raise you up

too.

Can everybody see?

Yes. The seats are all at different heights, but each row of people is at

same height and they are higher than the row in front.

by the typical distance between the top of a person's head and his or her eyes.

It's fantastic.

We have solved it. Well done, everybody involved. We can now finally sit down,

relax, and enjoy one of the greatest films ever made.

Roll it, projectionist.

After all that hard work, we head home for some rest and relaxation.

But we're not ones to waste money on expensive spas and beauty products. Oh,

We have everything we need right here in the shed.

As men, there are places where we shouldn't go.

One of those is a woman's handbag. If you've been bitten by a poisonous snake

and the antidote is in a woman's handbag, you still can't go in there and

it. You have to ask them to get it. That's just the rules.

The other one is a beauty spa. We do know that women go there for something

called a facial.

And we're suffering for not having facials because, as you can see, we're

haggard. We haven't cared for our complexion. So after consulting some

I've learned that a facial consists of four essential stages. It is cleanse,

tone...

exfoliate, moisturize.

And there are special potions and things, very expensive, for doing this.

occurred to us that there are things in the workshop that could achieve the same

thing for us, things that we use every day but that we never use for a facial.

So I think we are ready to perform the man's workshop facial. Are you up

for that?

Yeah, absolutely.

First, we need to protect our hair.

Well, you don't need it, Tony.

Soz, Tony.

Apparently we've got to wear these goggles.

This is a safety requirement from our insurers because they believe we're

somehow going to shove alcohol and hand cleaners straight in our eyeballs.

I wouldn't put it past us.

Right. There we are. Ready. First is cleanse.

This will remove grease, oil, deeply embedded dirt from your hands when

been working on your car or your motorcycle.

Have a bit of cleanser.

Oh, it's refreshing.

Oh, I feel better already.

Oh, it feels really nice.

It tastes awful.

Why are you eating it? I was just liberally applying it and accidentally

luscious lips.

I don't want to admit to that.

Oh, what is that?

Good God, you're covered in filth, man. Thank you.

Why are you so clean, James?

Because it doesn't do any work.

There's a bit of gunk come off there, off my cheeks.

Yeah, it's always the cheap.

Now we are cleansed, we must be toned.

Our toner is 99 .9 % pure isopropyl alcohol, which we use in the workshop

a lot for cleaning electrical items, toy trains that we mend, record players and

so on. Don't put this in your mouth now, Tony, otherwise you'll be completely...

clattered this is called toning i don't know what it actually does stinks

getting high whoa don't breathe so what

is normal toner i don't know oh you go do you want to know what toner is yeah

astringent liquid applied to the skin to reduce oiliness and improve its

condition well that's exactly what this is yeah Alcohol removes oiliness. That's

why we use it in soldering.

My face feels really tight.

Right.

So we've cleansed. We've toned. Now we're going to exfoliate. So we're going

remove the layer of dead skin.

Our exfoliant is basically a white glue which has rubber in it.

Spread it about.

and let it dry and then you have the unrivaled pleasure of peeling it off oh

this stinks oh it stinks of fish it's absolutely

minging this at this point i think in a in a proper

spa you would you would lie down and they'd probably give you some ginger tea

or something really left wing like that

We can sit back and we can relax and, you know, talk about stuff.

What about a little wax?

I hesitate to ask this, Tony, but which bit of you do you think needed waxing?

What about a leg?

You want a leg wax? A nice little smooth leg.

Are you sure about this, Tony? Yeah.

While we don't have the fancy hot wax machines used in spas and salons, we do

have the next best thing.

It's gassity.

Feet up. Your leg up.

When you use wax strips, there's a direction, isn't there? Should you tear

down? I'm tearing down.

Oh, I was going to go up. Well, then we'll experiment.

Oh, great.

Right, are we ready, everybody?

Tony, is there anything you need to say to your family or...? Tell my children I

love them. OK, do well.

Three, two, one.

Oh, that wasn't that bad.

That was rubbish. But it did work.

A bit. Look.

I've got two tiny little hairs. Ladies, stop wasting your money.

About £3 .50.

We can help you.

No, actually, that sounds really weird.

Right, moving swiftly on, it's time to see how much of our faces the glue has

removed.

Shall we take our goggles off? There's no...

I know. They suddenly come back into colour.

I've glued my goggles to my face.

Oh, it makes a great noise.

Listen to that.

Ow! That actually hurts.

That's a massive snot, don't you know?

It's like pulling your face off.

Look at this. Look at this. It's huge.

It's what it would feel like to be a brand -new refrigerator.

This is removing a microscopically thin layer of...

Epidermis. ..of a dead you.

Your appearance has changed, Simi. You look about 15.

Is anybody else sort of tingling in quite a satisfying way?

This is the final stage of the facial.

the moisturizing phase for which we're using the beeswax which normally we put

on wood so i'm going to start with my forehead this is what it's like being a

piece of 19th century furniture does smell nice so

i think now if we take the headbands off Go back to normal.

We can get a verdict from the crew, who have watched the entire process and are

very familiar with our faces, because obviously they film us all the time,

unfortunately for them. And here we are, post -facial.

You actually look much better. Yeah, you do look really glowy.

Well, yeah, tomorrow.

Your foil costume.

Yes. You don't tell us what tomorrow, we'll know it's gone wrong, but you

actually look very good.

So I now have to...

Point out to the viewers, I'm sure you're going to notice it, there are

be some continuity issues because, to be honest, we don't necessarily film this

series in sequence. We don't know until the edit exactly how we're going to

order the stories. So you might see it and think, God, those blokes are looking

old. And then in the next scene, you'll think, wow, look at those 15 -year -old

boys.

And it's because of this.

OK, so sorry about that.

Don't do any of this at home. Don't use any of these things. They're not

designed as part of a...

facial cleansing program.

Nevertheless, it works.

And we'll see you next time, if you can recognize us, now that we look ten years

younger.