Original subtitles

Why are you so adamant about bringing these cookies?

I just think it's a nice gesture. She's helping us.

Helping us?

After two years of meeting, she's putting a link around a laundry mat, and

you're bringing her cookies?

That's ridiculous.

Hey, can you stop?

Stop doing what?

I'm not doing anything.

Alexia, stop.

Me? He's only bothering me right now.

The auditor will be here in any minute.

What are we doing here anyways?

It's important we look like a family and normal.

She's threatening to take our home away.

Well, maybe this wouldn't happen if you turned in the taxes on time.

Shh. Look forward. Sit up and smile.

Thank you for your patience.

Now, let me just get situated real quick here.

What is it? It's just a token of our appreciation to show our gratitude for

the hard work you've been putting in to help this family.

Really? I mean, do you really think a tin of cookies is going to make this all

go away?

I mean, look.

What is this?

Oh.

All right.

Now, let's get started, shall we?

Yeah?

Okay, so now.

Even if it takes all day long. So what we have to do is we need to look through

all of your finances.

Did you have a profit and loss statement?

Do you have all of your receipts for this past year?

Are you okay? I mean, are you with us?

Why did you twist your nipple?

I'm so sorry. I'm just adjusting my shirt.

Okay.

Well, let's get back to what we were doing then, your

expense sheet.

How did you do that?

How am I in two places at once?

I jumped you into a different universe.

They don't know we're here yet.

Hopefully I have time to explain.

Oh, yes.

You have a lot to explain.

Wasting time on such an important day.

The man in the other office is not your husband.

I'm not your stepson.

We're from a different universe.

The skeevers.

and we need your help.

Sorry, very busy today.

No time to help you.

Mom, listen.

There's a great evil spreading from universe to universe, destroying each

timeline one by one.

Oh, stop messing around.

Today's not the day for games.

I'm going to that office.

Unless you can talk to...

Don't worry. That's why Scalia stayed behind to talk to the auditor.

Hello?

I'm so sorry about my wife. I think she's just a little tired.

Tired.

All right, then. Well, do you know where the expensive spreadsheet is, or did

you not fill that up?

Yes, it should be right here.

In here?

Are these divorce papers?

Oh, oh, oh. I'm sorry. Here,

this one. Take this one. I'm sorry about that.

Okay.

Did she say divorce paper?

Whoa. In this universe, you guys have issues.

Anyways, let's not focus on that. We're running out of time. If you listen to

me... We might be able to save the multiverse and your marriage.

The only fate I care about is where I get destroyed by the IRS.

Listen, the man you just saw and I are both from the Skeetverse, the original

universe. There, we invented universe -jumping technology, an innocent

that fell into the wrong hands, into the hands of Izalia.

She now wants to destroy all the multiverses, but for whatever reason...

She needs you to do it.

Even if I do believe in you, why me?

We're unsure, but either way, you have to learn how to protect yourself.

I'm going to teach you how to universe jump. This way, you can capture the

skills of your other selves from your other lives.

What was that?

Oh, no. Oh, no. I think Isaiah found this universe.

We're running out of time. Mom, listen carefully.

Take off your shirt and twist your left nipple.

What? Not again.

Ah, yeah, you pervert.

Do it.

Whoa.

For you to jump between universes, you need to do a highly improbable sexual

in order to create a rift large enough for your soul to shift into.

What? This is nonsense.

Now click on your earpiece.

This is you from another universe. Do you feel stronger?

I was an actress, I think.

Let's try something else.

Okay, choking on a cock. Got it. Come over here, Mom.

James, I don't know.

The last thing I told you worked, didn't it?

Is it working?

Yeah, just like that. The program said it's fucking real good. Just like that.

The program says to spit on it.

More spit.

Yeah, just like that.

Is it working now?

Yeah. The program says it's working.

This is kind of fun.

I haven't do this with your father for a while.

That's actually not my real dad. My real dad is Skeet Leo.

But this following line is really strong.

Is it working now?

Yeah, the program says it's working. Keep going. Just like that.

Yeah, just like that.

Yeah, lots of speed.

Hey,

I

think you're just enjoying this. too much.

I don't think the program is working.

I feel like I can hear her bootstrap, but I didn't see her coming in here.

We should try a different command.

Okay, you're right. Let me check.

Alright, the program says for me to eat you out.

Let's go.

I'm a laundry model in this universe.

Wow, mom.

You're looking really good right now.

Yeah, I might just buy one of these in this universe.

Oh, I hear her coming.

I hear her coming in the porches.

Come on.

What's the next step on the program?

Okay, the program says for me to finger you. Okay.

Oh, yeah. So hot.

Oh, yeah.

It feels so good.

Oh, your fingers feel so good.

Makes my pussy feel wet and moist.

Oh, yeah.

feels so good it's so relaxing you know i've been so uptight lately i

really need this finger massage

Amelia can jump from universe to universe in an instant while we rely on

computers to tell us. The only way we can beat her is to find out what she

needed to achieve her goals.

What does she need?

You.

Me?

Why me?

I'm just a laundromat owner.

I mind my own business.

We're as confused as you.

But our program indicated that she was searching for every version of Suki from

every universe.

She's looking for the perfect Suki, I guess.

Well, that's definitely not me.

I'm nowhere near perfect.

That's not what our program indicated.

Oh yeah, fuck my pussy.

The program says, fuck you, dog. Oh, yeah.

How does it feel now to be in my universe, Mom?

Yeah,

but I don't think I'm evil.

No

wonder

why your daughter hates you.

Hates me?

Why would she hate -

It flashes right behind my eyes. You've been her number one bully her entire

life. It's not bullying if it's the truth.

You are the Suzie I need.

You've been searching for me?

Why me?

Well, in another universe, there's life.

And in this life, you've done nothing.

Not nothing?

I own a laundry man.

And I was an actress in another world.

That was pretty cool.

Don't laugh.

Do you think this is a joke?

You're dressed like a joke. What am I supposed to think?

You're such a fucking bitch.

Language.

Jane Quall.

Shut up. You're the one who ruined my entire life. And you're just sitting

laughing. You don't even understand how this ruined me.

I want to understand.

I want to know what's been going on with you.

Do you really?

Yes, I do.

I want to know why you're doing all of this.

Well, if you really want to know, then you have to become just like me.

You have to be able to be willing to be in my shoes.

Are you willing to do that?

Yes, I do.

a good job taking that

me so well yeah i can tell yeah it feels so good is

there

a universe where an auditor fucks you too no but i'm pretty sure there's a

universe where they'll fuck you oh really

is my ultimate muffin.

With that, we can destroy every timeline together.

With a black hole?

No. That's the universe's pussy.

If you stare at it long enough, it reveals the truth.

What's the truth?

Nothing matters.

Oh, Alexia, you don't believe that. If nothing matters, then all that pain

you've been building up will just be sucked away.

Sucked into the universe.

Into this pussy.

What am I going to do?

Oh, it's so sick of your hair.

I've lost control and I'm here. I hate it here.

Nothing but stress and this laundromat.

Susie, can we talk?

It's important.

I have to go find Alexia.

You love me.

What? Why are you two acting out of nowhere?

That is a stupid question.

You're right.

I don't even know why I'm not.

I already know the answer.

What?

Everything I do is to make you happy.

Wow, you were amazing tonight.

You really deserve that award.

Oh, really?

Award for what?

For your acting?

Don't be so modest.

You've really grown a lot since high school.

Oh, is this the world where we never got married?

Um, yeah, you can put it like that.

You know, when I saw you earlier tonight at the award show...

It really makes me wonder, what would have happened all those years ago if you

would have came with me?

Oh, yes. In high school, you wanted to run away together, immigrate to America.

I always wonder what would have happened.

I know exactly what would have happened.

We would have struggled, bought a dirty, rundown building, living our mediocre

life, running a laundromat, and arguing about taxes.

Really?

That sounds kind of fun.

Fun? No, it sounds like torture.

Hmm.

Everything I do is to make you happy.

These are the book papers, right?

You think this will make me happy?

Yeah.

Leo, do you want any more?

When we fell in love all those years ago, your father used to say, I was too

sweet for my own good.

Maybe he was right.

Of course I want to stay together.

When I choose to see the good in things, it's not me being naive.

It's me being strategic and necessary.

It's how I've been able to survive all these years.

I know you see yourself as a fighter with your fists held tight.

I see myself as a fighter too.

But this is how I fight.

I fight with niceness.

All my life, I just wanted to make you happy.

You're my everything.

I would do anything for you.

So even though you broke my heart all those years ago, I always wondered,

in a different life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with

you.

I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't love you. But I do.

I love you so much.

Leo, let me show you how much I love you.

Let me show you how

much I love you. It's been too long.

Let me show you how much I love you.

You too.

You're here. Glad I found you.

Are you Skeet Boy?

Yeah, I was like, uh, yeah.

I hope it's not too late.

I'm here, I'm here.

I jumped through like a hundred universes to get here.

Where's my pet dog at?

I don't know, but I think I'm powerful enough to go find her.

But even if I do find her, what then?

Right where I stepped into her...

Can't stop me, Mom.

So, did you change your mind, or are you going to join me?

No, I'm not going to join you, but I'm going to help you.

You know, this whole time, I've been looking for someone that could feel what

feel and see what I see.

Feel like you feel?

What do you mean?

You hate your life.

More than any other version of Zuki. You understand better than anyone else how

horrible and boring and stressful life is.

You're right, but that doesn't mean I want all life to end.

That's too bad.

Because I do.

Let me ask, can you take a moment to listen to us?

Um, okay.

I can do that.

We haven't spent a lot of time as a family, and I want to fix that. Let us

you how much we love you.

Um...

Oh yeah.

I love you.

Yeah, it's tough, huh?

It's tough to... Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck, yeah. It's like I've got a snake.

I want to thank you for teaching us how to birth John.

Like that stuff.

I just like that.

Look at all that color.

Taste it.

It's so good.

I love it. It's so good. It's so delicious.

I'm hungry.

Yeah, a little bit.

Let's go get coffee.