Original subtitles

Did someone order the spicy tuna?

Mercedes, how many times am I going to tell you, hush, you'll scare the trout?

As long as you're not telling anybody that we're hanging out, Randy.

What choice do I have?

When it comes to purgatory friendships, it's, uh... Slim pickings at the fishing

hut.

A jiggler? What is this, trawling for news?

Shortbread martini.

Do you add my nutmeg twist?

Please.

Okay, they're biting.

Oh, they're really biting.

What did you do? Bait the lines with crack?

Jeez, boy, finally dinner first.

Did you think we could make it to the car? We've been hooked.

Good thing I always dress for cardio.

Sharon, wait!

Randy?

Maybe a little.

Hell with cold and dark, and I've been on my own for years.

Look, Lockmeth, I don't know what you are.

Not here for you.

But just to be sure, this is the Ghost River Triangle where bad

things happen to good people.

Hey, bad thing.

Get away from her.

Sure, Grandpa.

So, isn't she a little bit young for you?

Not that young.

I had to kick a girl and she's down.

She's the second best angler I know.

And she's my friend.

Look, I'm not picky. I only need one of you

to bring me the air.

The Earp air?

Why, no.

Hey, don't snatch.

Not him.

You want Earp?

I've been a ride or die since high school.

But guess what?

Winona doesn't live here anymore.

Oh, I know.

But she'll be back.

Once I bait the hook.

Meanie, meanie, miney.

Ho.

It's been through so much.

And I wish I could see the look on yours when Winona Earp kicks your icy ass!

Tell that devil to take you back, take you back, take you back. Now I went from

red to black, red to black, red to black. Came up from that lake.

Which one of you is going to flush my back door?

I didn't even get to see that.

You hit like a girl. Hard and with perfect form.

What kind of idiot thinks you can scam Paco Daisy in his own casino? The kind

that doesn't carry an ID.

Though you are one chips and walk away from a free chalupa.

You asshole.

That's not a joke to take.

Hey.

It's the Wyatt Earp swag.

famous lawman.

Old West shootout in the OK Corral right here in Tombstone. Guys, he's a big

deal around these parts.

White folks do love their violent heroes.

When they're feeling patriotic, they spend more at the buffet.

Wyatt Burke.

Just another apocryphal colonizer who got a revisionist history thanks to his

big gun.

I apologize, Hayden.

I assumed you were just a muscle.

Got my PhD at Brown.

19th century Americana.

Your big words are being wasted here.

You want a chat?

Jayden.

Sorry, boss.

Okay. Okay.

Admit, that one hurt. That one's smart.

I can't take a beating like when I was 27.

Might as well give it up, girly.

Hartner already spilled.

Hartner?

Doc, what have they done to you?

Turned me into a video game.

When this is over, I promise you mouth -to -mouth resuscitation.

Oh, you really don't want this to be over?

What was your angle here, hmm?

Grease my dealer?

Mustache boy, count cards.

I'm awfully flattered to be addressed as boy, considering my advantage.

Get this.

Blue -Eyed thinks he's Doc Holliday.

Quieter, buddy.

You know, I don't love Utah.

Oh.

Doc Holliday.

The greatest gunslinger who ever lived.

Top 20 for sure.

I beg your pardon.

I would have gotten away with robbing a fool blind if I never could learn to

bluff. Well, at least I brought a weapon.

Hey. We've been a thing.

Go start digging, though.

Okay, don't cheese your beans.

Peacemaker only kills demons.

Lights up when you point it out. Well, lights up for me.

And you.

I think I found the boss at the towel.

We're never going to get that chalupa.

Stop by the cafe, sir. We just put a fresh bun on for you. Both of you?

Just when I needed it. Thank you, Chrissy.

Hi, Natalie.

Go Blue Devils!

Hey, Nicole.

Hey, Kyle. Back at you. How's your brother?

I got those tulips you ordered, sir. Oh, Freddie, thank you so much. I will be

by the shop later, okay?

You can't park here.

I'm waiting for my wife.

She's like a big deal in this town.

You trying to neck a baby your way over a $30 ticket?

I'm also hoping to get friends. Oh, really?

This is Waverly Earp.

This is Nicole Haught.

Public disgaze of affection?

Kind of unprofessional, don't you think?

Hi, Bunny.

Hi, Bunny.

So, girls, Randy Nedley didn't show up for Samba Karate this morning.

Anyhoo, I gotta fly. I gotta go ice my dojo.

That Sensei Rick is very thorough.

Bye -bye.

Wow. I kind of miss when she was too homophobic to overshare.

So what are you thinking?

That my mentor...

The Sheriff Emeritus, Mr. Randy Nedley, often has one too many beer tap blues

while out on his highly illegal fishing hut, which I have to pretend I don't

know anything about.

Still, do you fancy a drive to the edge of the Ghost River Triangle?

I thought you'd never ask.

Also,

I picked up the mail.

Yay! New postcard from Wynonna!

Oh my god.

It's so funny to think about your sister acting all touristy at the place where

your ancestor made his mark.

Feels like she's in a good place.

What now, Earp? Same as always.

Have fun out there.

That's right, Porkchop. Winona Earp. Crazy chick with a demon killing ghost.

caught, he'd bring it to the one room we couldn't reach.

Your fault.

Your fault? What?

There's that high -toned dude they love in hell.

Which is more my fault than you.

May I?

I'd rather you didn't.

It's always a treat watching you do what you do best.

There's one more thing I'm pretty good at.

Need I remind you that we are here to crack a safe?

You need pants for that?

I do not.

Midley?

Sadie?

Two whole years running cons in the back of a suitcase.

Mm -hmm.

But every dollar we steal... No.

Brings us one step closer to getting our own farm.

A place to settle down.

Bring Alice home.

Command Gus' place in Montana.

All right, enough math. Let's hit the blackjack tables.

That also requires math.

Make this wad into a bigger wad.

The way you play, darling, which is good and roostered, our wads only get

smaller.

You love me, rooster.

I love you.

Full stop.

Then why are you being such a wad?

You spent some of this on things you wanted. I don't remember wanting to lose

ten grand at the tables last month.

Don't worry.

Oh, come on, dude. I didn't... You're not... I didn't mean... You're not...

You're not... Yes, Lee.

I believe.

I shall take some air.

Come on, take the herb air.

Again.

I just need to clear my head.

We'll be hours or days with that.

Don't wait up.

Never do.

Too slow, Mercedes.

Hey, hey, hey.

You hurt me.

You're alive, okay? Stay still.

Waiting for you.

I knew you'd come.

Okay, shh.

911, what's your emergency?

We need paramedics on Route 72.

That's right, border of the Ghost River Triangle. We're on our way.

I wasn't there.

Baby girl?

Did you get my postcard?

What do you mean dead?

What do you mean hurt?

I got a

Hello? I was just hoping for a hug.

You bring donuts?

I didn't even bring a bra.

Baby girl.

Baby girl's woman.

We weren't expecting you so soon.

I drove the Pocomobile all night.

Come home, Winona.

I'll use these ribs on the regular.

My hero.

The champion.

Fucking Winona's fine.

So, you move to the kitchen.

It's smart.

Turn my bedroom into a craft room.

Done. But since you're renovating, I'd also redo the stairs.

Oh, shut your mouth.

When did Karen from Planet Hobby Lobby move in?

Is that a homophobic typo? Oh, that's why we got it free.

Reclaimed phrase, reclaimed wood.

Speaking of reclaimed wood, let's talk.

Where's all my stuff?

Do you mean your weed?

Nope.

We donated it to the orphanage. Those kids are going to get fucked up.

Look at all this stuff. More BBD gas?

Enough googly eyes to choke an unlicensed daycare? And I want this to

loom. Jesus, you should be keeping my sister busier.

Oh, we maintain a robust schedule.

Yeah, I see that on your chore wheel. Hey, it's your turn to clean the

baseboards. Whatever that means, I'm gay.

Let me guess.

A box of condoms?

That is an ultra -beneficial box of containment.

I can barely contain how jazzed I am that my box has to sleep in the barn.

After Mercedes' wake.

How bad was it?

Let's say there's not going to be an open casket.

No demons.

We don't know that.

Nicole, what was left of Mercedes' bits is used to spell out our last name.

So unless some enterprising coyote has taught themselves how to read, then we

need the Earp Air home.

Even if it's a trap?

Especially if it's a trap.

You both have five minutes to get funeral fabulous.

I'll meet you by the demon limo.

The thing that did this is a fact.

What?

I just, I wish you would have talked to me before you called her.

I don't need my wife's permission to call my sister.

No.

What are you going to wear?

Lots of two coffees.

Extra coffee.

Truth?

Why don't, uh...

Oh,

I will be in the mist of trouble.

Hey, this isn't meds.

I forgot about the purgatory side -eye. A Mercedes Gardner was more mid -drip

than mid -drip. She would want it to be a real candy proper.

Hi, baby. Hi.

Let's get a drink. You mean another drink?

Hey, we spent hours trying to figure out what did this.

And what flavor of Pop -Tarts was best with the gin?

The strawberry.

You know what?

We had a lot of catching up to do, so we caught up. What's the catch?

Uh, yeah.

You do you.

Be right back.

Vicky!

Was it just me, or did your wife get more?

Uh, hey.

The town is finally thriving, and she just doesn't want things to, like... Is

everybody here hates me?

Not the people that matter.

You did a hell of a lot for these numpties.

I kept you safe from these!

Nuts.

Father Bertucci.

My sweet child.

Wynonna.

It's in one font.

She did the best she could.

Whatever.

I'm here for her.

Died with her boots on.

Those things are hideous.

Even the bear wouldn't touch them.

Throttle down, Jasmine.

The body's not even cold.

The body's in several pieces.

Yeah. You know what that tells me?

She felt like fuck.

Mercedes went down to him.

What a crazy, awesome bitch.

Mercedes thought she was such hot shit since high school.

Yeah, takes shit to know shit.

What are you saying, you're shit?

Don't twist her words.

I wasn't there for much of high school.

Left to major in jello shots and juvie. Got exiled to the Hanley home for girls

first. We got up to some wild there, eh, Winona?

Minored in childhood trauma, Cherie. It's all a bit hazy.

The three of us and Penny can't believe me.

We were kind of mean to you.

A little long time ago. Where is Penny?

Probably couldn't get a sitter.

Her dad's being such a tool.

Winona's got a great system for dealing with bad dads.

Claim it with demons and shoot them in the back.

Now someone's about to get punched in the front.

So, Winona's home.

Oh, yeah. She always knew how to make an entrance.

Oh, you sound jealous.

Come on, she's wild and mild.

It works.

Yeah.

Friendships are like that.

Mercedes could barely keep up with this ruse.

I got your text. I don't really understand what pineapple, pineapple,

emoji means.

Well, it means I got a broken wing.

And I don't text good.

I'm just glad you're okay.

I don't feel okay.

I don't remember much, including what the perp looked like, so don't bother

asking me.

Are you kidding? It's a miracle you're even upright.

Gave you enough drugs to knock out Iowa.

Opioids don't work on me anymore. I passed 17 kidney stones in four years.

Just chill you out.

Cold front rolling in.

There's a rum punch, and they got the game on.

Can't quite.

bring myself to go in there hey none of this is your fault

20 years ago i would have gotten to the truck faster i would have had that

shotgun in the hut with me younger me might have saved her yeah well a younger

you wouldn't have been friends with the likes of mercedes

Hasn't lost anyone in a long time in this way.

I got it covered.

I've been telling everyone it was an animal attack.

Oh, careful.

Careful, Sheriff Hott.

I lied to everybody for 30 years about what goes on around here.

To keep them safe.

I was scared.

Don't be like me.

Don't confuse protecting people with... deciding for him this is just a it's a

blip whatever happens next i can handle it

you better start with the sinner sisters

I can take the little lesbian.

She's bisexual, you muppet. Actually, I think of her as pansexual now. Baby

girl, your journey is gone.

Stupid earth.

You both are going home right now. I'm calling you a cab.

I'm going to be up all night filing a report

on why there was a battle royale at a wake.

Just as Mercedes would have wanted.

I'm mad, dude. No way. She loves me for it.

And I love her.

Oh, I'm working after hours.

All by your lonesome.

It's Nedley's lucky bandana.

He certainly was luckier than, uh... Mercedes.

Heads up! Now! Or what?

Or I blow them off your wrists.

I'm sheriff of purgatory. Well, you're a lot more than that, Nicole.

You're Wynonna Earp's best friend.

What

do

you want with Wynonna?

Revenge. Payback. The whole.

You certainly seem like a dick. Okay, okay. We can trade quips later.

Right now, I need the first of three precious things from you. Number one,

wedding ring.

Over my dead body.

Yes.

Doesn't anyone listen around here?

Your ring and revenge.

Revenge is overrated. I should know.

Like you.

Next stop, Wynonna's teen trauma.

Hugs and kisses to Dawson's freak.

And that was confusing.

And painful.

I saw the light on, and I knew the best lawman that Purgatory's ever known was

burning a midnight candle.

We'll find a particularly comely demon.

Yeah, we'll find her or the other sisters.

I was on my shit list.

So business as usual.

This one feels personal.

I haven't been that drunk in ages.

It's long overdue.

A lot of things.

But these blankets smell like horse. When's the last time you wore them?

I'm pretty sure that's your old leather jacket.

Want a whiskey?

No, I'm good.

But you're better bad.

Bad influence.

Nicole will be fine.

I kind of thought she'd be more jazzed to see me.

I don't want to hurt.

Feeling guilty and turning down Hooch.

Sucks got you tamed.

If anything...

Doc thinks I'm a lot.

There's no way.

No.

Keeps disappearing for hours at a time.

I mean, we're still the best. We're still the best when we're fighting and

fucking. Roger that.

But when we have to stop running and talk, this has never been our strong

We're saving up to buy a place.

Alice is five.

A little kid who could use a mom.

She has one. It does.

You deserve to be happy, Winona.

I am happy.

Knowing my daughter is safe.

I can't even keep my baby sister from getting jumped by some group homeskinks.

How would Doc and I protect a kid?

With your whole heart.

You have to tell your person how you feel.

You first.

What's that supposed to mean?

You've been working police dispatch.

Yes.

In Chrissy's coffee bar.

Volunteering at the old folks' home. With the occasional shift at the cat

Though tending pussy's more of a hobby.

Don't change the subject with a hilarious off -color joke. That's my

You've also developed a crippling craft addiction that has robbed me of a

bedroom. Now who's running in place?

What else am I supposed to do around here?

Literally anything you want.

Jeremy has been calling.

He wants me to join him overseas.

Restructure the Black Badge Division.

That's your future right there, baby girl.

I can't leave Nicole.

Leaving doesn't mean forever.

Put in proof of that, baby.

Nicole's no stranger to ambition, and she's not selfish.

Ginger Dredd can take care of her to help.

Will it help?

She took your ring? Your wedding ring?

Baby, it's just a broken finger.

She broke your finger? I love that finger.

You're gonna have to get creative with your sex life.

Parked in Milton moments for a spell.

Pushed her toes for a few weeks.

It's not the primary digit for that.

Did you get a look at the back hole? Big blonde mane, fit, tentacle powered.

She's hard to miss.

But you did miss.

No, I ain't true.

My bullets did nothing.

So would Demon.

A demon who would have killed me if Doc hadn't have shown up.

It is the ideal finger to lose if you have to choose.

I did not get to choose.

Well, it sounds like Octobussy will be easy to find.

Most people think the pinky finger is superfluous.

But you need it.

Yeah. For balance.

Sounds wrong to say this exactly right now, but I've missed this.

That shittery of our lives.

That shittering of you girls.

Now it feels less like a reunion and more like a reboot.

Well, I'd like to reboot this demon in her coach.

Gathering items. My ring was just the first. She said she needs three precious

things. Why not? She called you Dawson's freak.

What did you say?

And I did manage to swipe this off her wrist. It's a friendship bracelet with

Waverly's name on it.

My name, but not my bracelet.

When I was six years old, I made it. For me.

Hang on.

I got it. Not you, Henry.

We're talking.

Oh, Jerusalem's cricket.

Twenty years ago, the day I lost this bracelet, I was 15 years old, living in

shitty group home.

Family's wayward girls.

I was so determined to show them.

Them who?

The other Dawson Streaks.

That's what we called ourselves.

Holy shit.

Seriously, Winona. This look is even creepier than I imagined.

No wonder you're so fucking weird.

Stop pooping in your low -rise jeans.

If you're that scared, we can jet.

I'm bored and I'm cold.

I thought we'd at least do it inside the murder house.

It's not a murder house.

It's a murder home.

Cute.

Wyatt Earp took this lasso from the old west sheriff who put a curse on him, the

demon Clutie.

My Clutie is itchy.

An amylite is a hell mineral.

Bedrock surrounding the homestead is loaded with it.

This is a load, all right.

Look, Penny, Jasmine, Cherie, you all wanted me to prove it.

But this land, my family, the curse, that is all real.

All right.

Keep your tampon in. It has to be now. Today's the only day we can do it.

Thursday?

Time of the hunger moon.

That's so not a thing.

The Blackfoot call it Katoi.

When the veil between Earth and the underworld is at its thinnest. When all

energy turns to survival.

Sure, Wynonna.

Is this really where you shot your dad?

I was aiming for the ghouls who grabbed him.

Yeah. You actually believe demons did it, don't you?

They've been coming for me and my own my whole life.

It's

a

fox.

We got a bell. Wait, my bracelet. My baby sister made me that.

Who cares? It's busted.

And that was it for me from there on out.

It was all mental institutions and juvie until I turned 18.

Now it turns out that wasn't my only fuck -up. We must have conjured up a

after all. What? Okay, so what's it doing here 20 years later?

The Hunger Moon is in two days.

We've got everything this demon wants right here. On the homestead? Of course

not. Demons can't get past the MLA bedrock. Yeah, well, guess what? This

doesn't play by the rules. She wants some...

Fucking magical item. Maybe Brainy Girl can figure out what it is. It's got to

be somewhere in purgatory. No, no, no. You're not going to use my town as bait.

Or my wife. Why? Because you're the only one who gets to keep Waverly on the

hook?

That's what you want to mean.

Despite the circumstances, I'm simply delighted to see you.

And your new hairdo is so fetched.

That is for whoring and gambling and leaving Winona alone at night.

Most evenings, I simply walk.

I do some bird watching.

But you must see the fresh fire.

in Wynonna's eyes, in the face of all this.

Two years ago, she ran away with me inspecting the circus.

So I'm not the thing to let the tiger out now and then.

The woman I love, she's addicted to calamity.

She does get easily bored.

Yeah, well, the last thing that I want is Wynonna Earp to get bored of me.

But you've changed.

Change is natural.

So why should it feel like a betrayal?

Is that Megan B.

Stallion? She's so good.

You know, the first time I pressed play, I was expecting something different.

Well, anxiety aside, it must be tiring.

I will never tire loving the wildest Italian of them all.

Mustang.

Stallions are boys.

Waverly Earpy, you attempted to school me on the pony?

I mean, even though he's been dead to the world for centuries, you still have

play Doc Holliday instead of just being Henry.

You could try not being a dick, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Can't protect this place or Waverly.

By making them smaller. Well, and you can't just show up here and destroy

everything we've built because you seanced a little too hard when you were

If you really wanted to secure purgatory, you'd tell them we're under

attack. I'm not going to tell a bunch of people to stop living their lives just

because I can't keep some fentanyl creeping in. Am I the fentanyl in this

scenario? At least fentanyl takes away your pain.

Winona, I would literally kill for you, but the chaos that you bring... We

really could do a little chaos. It means a chance to spread her wings. She needs

more than hot sex and crochet.

Lately, she can hardly hold back her more, especially when she is stressed

I mean, and nothing stresses her out more than her... Wait, the potentials?

You should have a little more faith in me and your wife.

God forbid Wynonna Earp doesn't get what she wants. Pull that judgment stick out

of your ass.

Ladies, we have company.

Not this guaca shit.

Did you bring me my point card?

I ate your chalupa.

May I introduce... Agent Lafferty.

Agent? I was undercover at the Daisy Casino trying to beg the big boss when

and Wynonna... Though I'm not sure how you got the drop on Paco given he was

a... Asshole? A demon.

I mean, that seems pretty far -fetched. You know what? You can drop the act. I'm

one of you.

Blackbath.

It's a cross -border task force that investigates the paranormal.

Yeah. Chief Chetri recruited me after he heard I encountered your work in

Tombstone. He wants me to keep an eye on you. Jeremy told you to follow us to

Purgatory? Oh, I figured out where you went when I...

Cased your hotel.

Found your little note to dock.

That was private.

You misspelled trouble.

Judge.

I'd like answers.

Well, I'd like to be back in the middle of the threesome in Chicago.

I'll repeat to you now what I said to Doc then.

She's your piece.

It's not a shooting contest.

Come on. We just fixed the beam.

This is serious. You're acting like children.

I'm tired of busting cut -rate monsters on misdemeanors, and I'm tired of

pretending I didn't see something with red eyes and wings attack my little

brother while we were hiking up Humphrey's Peak.

I'm hungry, and I want to be a part of something bigger.

Regardless, three yards?

We don't need any outside help.

We need all the help we can get.

This thing is built different. So am I.

We need guns. We've got Peacemaker.

Wynonna, you didn't see her. She hasn't seen me. Okay, enough.

Nicole just lost my third favorite finger.

And with Jare Bear gone, Mercedes dead, Nedley out of commission... Seems like

you're running out of allies.

Fine.

But I'm not babysitting kid cock.

Welcome to the squad, Agent Lafferty. Happy to be here.

This is just a tryout.

And this is the plan.

I will case the Hanley home for Wayward Girls for clues.

Nicole and Waverly will stay where they're safe right here. Hey!

You need to research what we conjured up and what this ringwraith wants, besides

a lesbian's golden hoop.

Meanwhile, the boys will dig up the totally unnecessary sash of old black

weapons. Just in case.

I hid the munitions out here after I liberated them from an old friend.

He, too.

That's from Arizona.

One man's trash is another man's TNT.

Ballad of Holiday's Gold. I'd watch that movie.

Alas. This is not a film.

All right.

M240 Bravo.

Scalable hand grenade.

Boy, howdy. Desert Eagle and Onyx with a holographic sight.

Not too shabby.

Better than that.

Come on, Holiday.

When's the last time you proved your mettle, huh?

Might be best to test the floor before the war, as Wynonna would say.

That girl's always in your head and my heart.

Need to stretch first, maybe a baby aspirin? Well, you know what they say,

age before beauty.

As I have both, I went for it.

Well, I looked her up. She's got a criminal record longer than a CVS

She can hold her liquor, though not her temper.

You're wrong. But I spoke of my tie, so my shooting ends up in a ditch.

I'm just trying to understand how that particular ancestor became the Honorable

Wyatt Earp's chosen heir.

Honorable.

When you are the last man's death, you get to write your own story in whatever

fashion you desire.

Including manifesting self -glory. And when it comes to true heroes, Wynonna is

the most genuine I've ever known.

And what does that make you?

A lover.

A father.

A man at a time.

And apparently, a loser.

Oh, yeah.

That's gonna show them.

And, uh... You owe me a quarter for the swear jar. They never stop.

Look, Winona, you pulled some pretty stupid stuff out there. I managed to get

Officer Nedley's cruiser on top of the high school.

That's... fun and gifted.

It's debatable.

It's your behavior in here.

That's my job.

That's my responsibility, so...

Here.

Heal thyself.

Maybe it's you.

There are worse things than toning it down to fit in.

They call me murderer.

Aren't you?

Look, you're picking all these fights that you can't win. You're one strike

from getting sent upstate. But I don't know. Maybe that's something that you

want. Maybe you feel like you don't have a home that you can go back to.

You don't know me. I know that you should be concentrating on one thing.

out of this crap bucket.

Hanley Group Home. Now with extra STDs. No. It's an allegory.

When a crab tries to climb out of the bucket, the others pull it back down.

A place like this can feel like nobody is allowed to succeed. But Wynonna, you

could. If you were just a little bit less.

Is that supposed to inspire me?

You're still working at the same group home you grew up in, lording your power

over a tiny group of teen girls.

No one's more stuck here than you. Okay, well, I'm just trying to help you so

that you can stop being selfish and you can help her.

Leave my sister out of this.

I would if I could.

You alright?

You can't.

Doc, get back to the homestead now. We've been placed.

We've got Mexican hot cocoa with extra marshmallows and chili powder.

Shelf it hot. I know when I'm being managed.

Hot.

Whoa.

I could have helped.

We are helping.

Earp.

In the way that you do best.

What if I'm itching to try something I'm not already the best at?

Something that's new.

Another reno?

Running for local office.

Or... K -word?

Kite surfing?

Oh.

Kids.

Nicole, I...

Is that her?

Oh, hey, girl.

Just thought I'd... ...pop by.

Demons can't cross the amulet bedrock.

I mostly do what I want.

We need to get her gone. We don't have time.

Time has not been kind for you, sweetie.

You used to be so bright.

So full of life.

Shut up. You know, we met once.

When you were just a kid sister to Wynonna.

Talk about a glow down.

This is our land. And you are stuck on it.

Day in and day out, reduced to somebody's wife.

You don't know shit, shit ticket.

She's trying to get in your head. You've got a lot of darkness inside of you.

It's her B cup.

You've had power before.

Do you want it?

Come on, baby. I know you didn't just fucking say that.

We cannot undo what has been promised.

We must all submit to our destiny.

Woman, you've never submitted a day in your life.

Well, let's do it, Caroline.

Ah, look at that. It worked.

Whoa, Ranger. Okay. The bracelet.

The other bracelet.

I shall find what is cherished.

You better be looking for a Xanax.

She shall receive my mercy, or we shall feel her wrath.

You need to stop.

Or I'll stop you.

Baby, if you love me, you will.

Stop!

Grace shall be delivered through fire if necessary.

Good girl.

The portal can cage me.

Just re -hinge that door.

The affairs of men are no longer my concern.

I agree with you there.

Dare to define me?

It's called love, woman.

That which is precious and personal.

You made two of those bracelets?

One for Winona and one for you. I shall give my mistress what she demands.

Give me the vow. The other vow.

You're cool.

Want to try platitudes?

Try this.

No.

Live, laugh, and fly the fuck down.

No.

Wait, really.

Wait.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Did I hurt your finger? No.

I think Mina got what she came for.

Maybe it was Mina.

You haven't aged a day, Mina.

Blood of a thousand virgins?

So sweet of you to remember me.

Twenty years in hell, people don't exactly send Christmas cards.

You went to hell?

How? Another innocent victim of the Earp River of shit.

You stopped being innocent when you slaughtered my friend and hobbled my

I didn't have your email.

What do you want? To make you suffer.

Did you hurt my sister?

Oh, um, not as much as her wife did.

And it is not fire and brimstone down there, Wynonna.

It is cold and dark and mean.

Mean like the demons that I cut a deal with to come and fuck with you.

You already met the seance. I was only 15.

Oh, Ben.

Now, young, old, this is what happens to everyone who cares about you, Wynonna.

You never cared about me. They get torn to pieces.

And that is what the hounds of hell are going to do to the three people that you

care about. The most.

Waverly and Nicole and... Your

daughter.

Is the heir apparent?

I'm barely apparent.

Between you and me.

Kill me.

No.

I'm going to torture you. Just like you tortured me and all the other demons

that you sent to their doom.

Please. Yes.

Please realize that you are helpless to save anyone.

who has ever believed in you.

When Alice is in the belly of my beast, well, that's not going to be

able to look at you.

And all you're going to do is watch.

See you in hell, Wynonna!

I'm going to stare at... ran the Hanley group home for

girls. She was an orphan. She was a resident there herself until she aged

18. Sounds like a real peach.

I thought she was my friend. My only friend there.

Now I wonder if she was just trying to keep me small. Yeah, well, good fucking

luck.

But Mina was human.

No, she ain't. She wasn't at the sales. She wasn't even the target.

Sometimes the devil claims his own.

Whatever Mina used to be, she's the thing trying to hurt us now.

She said she was in literal hell.

And has the power to summon its hounds?

The Irkon.

Or Bonars.

Yeah, they're more than just a cute nickname.

How hard is it to merc the Irk?

According to French texts, they're rabid, unstoppable beasts.

Only able to cross the veil to Earth one day a year.

February's hunger moon.

I do hate a dark hawk morning.

If given a piece of their target, say a personal artifact like a ring or a

friendship bracelet or a lock of a child's hair, their icon will front a

attack.

An attack that won't stop until... Ils n 'arrêteront jamais de chasser.

They will never stop hunting.

Ne renonceront jamais à l 'appel des odeurs.

Never give up the scent.

Until they feast on the flesh of their mark.

Wait, you guys have fought things like this before?

No, not like this.

Okay, well this is a chance for our team to impress the top brass.

I'm starting to wonder if you've got more brass up top than brains.

No, he's part right.

All we've got to do is hold off the monster mutts long enough for the Earp

to take out their master.

I don't think Peacemaker's gonna work.

For the same reason that Mina was able to cross the fence.

Why not?

Because I made her.

You haven't had the chance to talk.

You really talk.

She's a tombstone.

All right, well, what do you got?

Pep talk about your favorite Madam Smirkin?

Lesson about the time Wyatt took on 20 groundhogs at once?

I'll take it.

I cannot remember the last time I seen you look so scared.

I've grown too straight and too wise for tall tales.

Mina's had 20 years to plan the perfect revenge.

I know firsthand what sitting in the dark, nothing but thoughts, retribution

can manifest.

What a ghastly fuel vengeance can be.

But it is nothing compared to what love can do.

She's only five.

She never asked to be born on Earth.

Neither did you.

And you turned out all right.

Took a while to get there.

Whereas if I leave now, I can be a Montana button.

No.

We make our stand here at the source or not at all.

Besides, I've asked you to run long enough.

I knew them as you are.

I ain't never done a single thing that I did not want to do.

I should have done what I wanted.

I wanted to bring Alice home.

A real home.

Here with us.

There's a little spot up on the ridge overlooking the barn.

When a Chinook blows in, it's over the clouds right at your feet.

We can build a little house.

We can put up a swing set.

Would that be enough for Doc Holliday?

Doc Holliday died a long time ago.

I think that Alice's father could not want for a single

pretty place to lay his head as long as his lady

was by his side.

I have to make one more goodbye.

I have to save who I can.

We ride at dawn.

I shall be there.

Well, dawn -ish.

At least you got a backup loom.

Darth possessed me through the backup loom, through the backup kiln.

Rage goo is squirting out of your eyeballs.

It's got a sting.

Every time.

Any chance you can craft us a way out of this?

Gather up the Black Badge Gak. Maybe we can use it to battle Mina and the

Hellhounds.

Great. Band name, by the way.

Pooper Petey Opal?

I think it's a fake.

Oh.

Oh. Alt shirt.

Mini official box of containment.

Not sure that it can contain a rabid case of damn Dalmatians, but I'll throw

on the pile.

Oh, waves.

Your custom crocheted cheerleading cosplay.

Sorry, baby. I know how hard you worked on this.

Don't be sorry.

I'd still be stomping through the Kootenai Range black -eyed and causing

slides.

You saved me.

I held you back.

Thank God for that.

No, I... I've... I've been... holding you back.

Hey.

I love our life.

Yeah, but you're... Still an herb.

Herbs need adventure.

Jeremy thinks Black Badge is compromised.

And he needs the people he can trust.

He's currently stationed in Egypt.

Hey, we are golden.

We could marriage long distance for a little while.

I wish I could be the one to show you the world.

Maybe it's a habit.

Maybe it's a good way.

That's what we do. We're Black Badge.

I'm more of a black hat.

Well, sometimes I do this.

Just because I beat you at shooting?

That was just a game, son.

So what, another test?

Aging the new guy?

Chief Chetri sent me.

But Jeremy has not met you or your ambition.

No, I've seen what you crave, Agent Lafferty.

It is glory at any cost, and that makes you hell for leather.

Don't do this, old man.

Goodbye, kid.

You're a hypocrite, Holiday.

Hey, Daddy.

Lola.

Should have been here more.

Here lie two other herb heirs.

Two people I loved enormously.

I had to kill them myself.

My whole life has been a boatload of... of mistakes.

and missteps.

And it sucks.

And I'm tired.

At least they get to rest.

Yeah, well, you've had more than your share.

Anyone else would have blown their brains out years ago.

Points for me, I guess.

Well, you've had to do whatever it takes to live with it.

Except admit the truth.

Which is?

That you like it.

The hunting.

The killing.

The choosing.

After a lifetime of being powerless and on the defensive, you love being

special.

What gives you the right to judge me?

Oh, get real. These two sucked.

Your sister was a manipulative sociopath. Your father was an abusive

Jesus, don't sugarcoat it. Your father.

My boss.

Best fisherman I ever met.

I guess that makes it okay.

Here's the thing your asshole father taught me about winning.

History doesn't remember who played fair or who cheated or who had the right

gear or whether you sabotaged your competitors' lines.

History only remembers who won.

I don't know if I can win.

She's a monster.

And you're not just an heir.

You're your father's daughter, and he was one mean son of a bitch.

You know, sometimes it's just about going where the fish are.

Get off my sister and get on MapQuest. Your designated field of play.

We're going to that.

Cutting it awfully close.

He'll be here.

We good?

She's my sister and an herb.

But for me to descend the hounds after you... This is super flattering. I mean,

I know you're obsessed with me, but come on.

I don't have a lot of people in my life willing to tell me when I'm being a

jackass. Yeah, well, they're called friends, jackass.

The town's lucky to have you.

And Waverly lucky to have you.

And... We'll get you a wedding ring back.

Yeah.

Hey.

Hallmark moments are nothing with my blood left.

Did I

miss the

hold down?

Oh, that hose going down.

It's not a party till you get here.

Agent Lafferty?

Too personal.

Just felt like we should keep it all in the family.

You sure you want to draw them to us here?

What's our strategic advantage?

Call it, sir.

Ice lid, locale, no civilians.

Got multiple vantage points and the high ground.

Limited coverage for them means maximum visibility for us.

We'll see the hellhounds coming from now.

And they will come.

I want you two up top, out of reach. You're what they're targeting.

We'll keep it kinetic.

Doc, you and I will work the bottom.

That's not supposed to be.

We keep it perfect till the end.

Do you feel that?

The hellhounds.

tomorrow.

They did.

They will when I get Mina.

Where is Mina?

Well, she's got to be close by.

Well, let's throw her a bone.

Woo! What a view!

All this space.

She should blow the craft room out and be super soft. Ooh, hers and her sinks,

maybe a sauna.

Fuck it, Dev. You know I love us, so...

Be

gone, Thetopedia

fool. Yep.

Or I could be the headmaster.

Know why?

Have an inkling.

We are through today.

Something stupid.

About time.

Hey,

you

know, you should know, I just took out Satan's Slabberdoodles and didn't even

flinch.

You're supposed to stay high.

What you doing, Earp?

Last thing Mina told me was that she'd see me in hell, so... That's the part

where you tell me I'm crazy.

We're desperate for crazy.

May it be the craziest.

Fentanyl's most deadly when it's pure.

On its own.

I hate this so bad.

What takes bad to end worse?

I don't want you to end.

We don't want us to lose.

I'm ready, Nicole.

One last time.

Don't tell Waverly.

She won't understand.

It's usually my favorite part.

The wet entry.

I do reckon I know that gun.

Asia, are you okay?

Nobody looking for an Earth will ever find her. This is your home.

Look, they're claiming that this is your third strike. They're taking you

upstate to an adult correctional facility. I'm sorry, kid.

It's not that. My bracelet. Waverly's bracelet.

It's the last piece of my family that I have.

Snapped off in the barn.

Well, you're not allowed to have personal effects in jail, kid.

Sorry. You.

You called the cops on me. I had to. I had no choice. I mean, you were the one

that ran off. I mean, I'm the one who escaped.

You don't wish I was less.

You just wish you were more.

Let's go.

Gotcha, Earp.

Hey, studio bitchy whore.

What the hell are you doing here?

I'm doing hell. Uh -huh.

I was a prisoner down here for 20 years.

I'm finally privy to the power you always craved, even if it is dark as...

Hell. Fuck you.

That's your tell, Mina. You got out.

You could have gone anywhere, but you skittered back into your prison

You absolute fucking gash. You had me at hell.

You deserve to be down here, not me, you cunt. Maybe.

But no matter how long I sit here, I'll never cut a deal with demons.

Peacemaker won't stop me. He will for a minute.

A lot of minutes in eternity.

You think your dogs won't stop coming?

I'll never stop coming.

This is insane.

You can't win. No.

But I can keep making you.

Enough!

I know curses. And now, I'm yours.

You came for my family, now you will never make your...

Is that the Elk Herd Magnifico box of containment?

You tricked me.

The best man I know taught me.

When you bluff, you gotta go all in. I'll trade you. That jail cell for the

thing that makes you the heir.

The only thing that's ever made you anything.

That was before.

And then my people showed up.

Paid me everything.

Well, we had a time.

Hey, Nina, enjoy your crap bucket.

Wynonna did it.

She got the big dog.

I'm gonna go double -check the strays.

Where is Wynonna?

I promise not to tell.

All the demons

I've ever counted coming for me.

I found them there.

But Alice...

And her narc.

What, like you got a monopoly on breaking the rules?

Things were going in my hole.

Any time.

Not any time, but...

Where's Peacemaker?

Where she can do the most good.

Rachel.

Fucking Waverly's fine.

Well, it sounds more than fine.

Delightful.

This wasn't on the chore wheel.

Agent Lafferty?

When did you get here?

Clearly just in time.

What the fuck, Ricky Blue?

Give me the box.

Do not give it to him. No shit.

All right.

Holy son of a...

Next one's a little higher. So you're Black Badge, but you'd commit treason?

Murder? I'm never getting promoted at Black Badge. I've failed the psych

evaluation too many times. I wonder why.

I got a better offer.

There's lots of organizations that'll pay top dollar for a genuine demon and

ultimate demon -killing gun.

Come on.

I've heard whatever your real name is.

Please.

You can't take the cloth out of the ghost brother triangle.

Mina can never be let out of this thing.

My daughter's life depends on this.

Okay.

I've disabled your cars. You can't follow me.

You can't stop me.

But... I'm gonna let you live.

I'm hell for leather like that.

Somebody will stop this.

Not you.

Thank God.

That's a rail.

No fucking way.

I admit, I forgot about you.

You're a terrible liar.

Had you fooled?

Not for a minute.

Go home, Holiday.

It's your woman.

Cannot. And I will not let you leave with that bark.

You're too old to stop me.

I'm too old not to.

Once upon a time, you may have been the fastest gunslinger in the West.

That was long ago with ancient pistols.

Okay.

You can't take us all out. I know who I'm taking out first.

Remember, you wanted this.

Nobody wants this.

I should know.

I fought it for 172 years.

Come on.

Stop.

Go. Help him.

Did you get them all?

Please.

Do you know who I am?

You be person.

Keep it.

There's no one on earth who will do more to keep it safe.

And our Alice.

Tell her.

All the good stuff.

Doc.

You're gonna be okay.

I have been.

Many times.

More than my share.

Doc, we can fix this.

You know, you really are awful at looking.

But you're pretty good at the rest of it.

All of it, really.

Please let me save you, Doc.

Oh, God.

You did.

The box?

Nina.

And Peacemaker.

It's down there, too.

I meant it when I said he'd protect it forever.

And I'm going to stay and protect him.

Thanks again for flying in, Jeremy.

Are you kidding?

Or come by canoe.

It was a damn good funeral.

For his, uh, second funeral.

You're welcome to stay in Purgatory.

At the homestead. As long as you like.

Thank you, but, uh, I don't think my back can take another night in the craft

room. And my liver definitely can't take more erpin'.

I've got some work to do.

Like finding a way to fix this.

Yeah. Yeah, Black Badge has a lot of unconventional resources at our

I'll try, Wynoma.

You'll do better than that.

I promise.

It'll help that I hire the most ingenious researcher I've ever met.

Do send photos of Abu Simbel.

Don't open any cursed tombs.

I'm not allowed to enjoy my weekends?

Oh, try the fata, but maybe not the straight meat. I'm still going to be

in Egypt. No pyramid scheme.

Very funny.

And so lovely.

I'm proud of you.

Jeremy says the agency is rife with corruption.

We need to find out who Lafferty was working for.

You will, because you are...

Waverly goddamn head cheerleader.

Tentacle resistant.

Herb.

Don't forget Nicole Haught's wife.

Okay, my turn.

Don't be too hard on her.

But don't be too soft.

I'm gonna whip her into shape.

I'll be home for Easter.

I know.

And I won't back down.

Hey, let me help you.

Whoa, geez, wait.

How many bras did you pack?

Hey, that's Texas.

Over 20.

Finally learning from my mistakes.

It actually feels like I'm finally embracing my inner Winona.

Here's to the adventure.

Great.

As long as you got your passport, Agent Earp.

Thanks for staying.

I want to.

Does anybody have a rake or something? I got one hell of an itch.

Boo -hoo, we got it. You love cats.

You gonna let her talk to me like that? Hey, we're gonna get her trained in

citizen relations.

Good luck.

After we deputize her.

I can't believe I'm a cop.

Are we sure I left hell?

It gets worse. I hear your boss is a real hard ass. Hey, don't make me tear

that fishing hut.

Fishing's over for the year.

But hunting season's about to begin. You guys still haven't found that sexy

werewolf, huh?

Well, we don't know how sexy it is.

Nicole, come on.

And it's Sheriff Pot.

I'm Deputy Earp, reporting for duty.

He said duty. Keep it professional, Sheriff. We're on the clock.

The war on top button.

Get to work.