Original subtitles

First, there was Football X-7. Then, Hockey Z-9. But there was an obvious alphanumeric gap between them. So get ready for... -Croquet Y-8! Huh, finally, the opportunity for me to show off my mad mallet skills! If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Or a hoop with a portal. Fine, but we're doing Demolition Derby G-48 tomorrow. Hey, you guys seen Perry? [all] In the house. What's next? Stacy shows up and asks, "What you doing?" [watch beeping] [Candace] Perry? Perry, where are you? There you are, my monotreme mon-amie. It's just a hat, Carl. Why is it just a hat? -Do you think he's invisible? -Then wouldn't his hat be floating? Or maybe he's a ghost. Well, the hat would still be floating, right? They can't interact with the material world, Carl. Use your head. All right, Jeremy. Perry and I are all ears. I mean, we're not like all ears. I mean, imagine if we were all ears. Just covered in ears. Like, we can hear out of our elbows. Candace, you're weird. So, what's the sitch? I need you and Perry for a summer school project for college credit. It's a zoology course. Uh-huh, great. A documentary about zoo college. It's a day in the life of an exotic animal and Perry is the most exotic animal I know. So, it's you and me documenting Perry all afternoon. -Great. Sounds like a plan. I'm in. -Are you sure, Candace? Because it looks like you may want to bust your brothers. No, no, no, no. I can multitask. I can bust the boys while we document Perry. -No problem. -Great. Just need some assistance with this equipment from the car. You got it. Assistant slash producer slash girlfriend at your service. All right, Perry, stay put. Don't do much. You know, like you usually don't do. [footsteps receding] [Jeremy] Documenting Perry's life all afternoon. [echoing] [♪ video game music playing] ♪ Fake Perry ♪ [Candace] Places, people, places. All right, Perry. Let's do this! -[both] Phew! -Thank goodness you're here, Agent P. What kept you? Oh, you had to use an emergency Perry bot as a decoy. Aren't you a little concerned, sir, about all the previous models being recalled due to mechanical failure? I estimate you've got about three hours, give or take, before your bot goes smoke, boom, spaghetti. Great googly moogly! That would blow your cover with your host family. I'll keep it brief. Doof is getting into some farm-related shenanigans, and no good has ever come from a mad scientist taking up animal husbandry. -Go get him, Agent P. -In less than three hours. [echoing] Three hours. Three hours. Carl, is that why I signed an invoice for an echo machine? [echoing] Machine? Machine? ♪ We had Football X-7 and Hockey Z-9 ♪ ♪ We could have left it at that and been perfectly fine ♪ ♪ But anyone with a little common sense ♪ ♪ Could see the gap In our alphanumeric sporting events ♪ ♪ Croquet Y-8 ♪ -♪ Y-8, Y-8 ♪ -♪ Croquet Y-8 ♪ ♪ It's time for us to demonstrate ♪ It's like croquet but there are ways to differentiate ♪ Let me break it down with an equipment roll call ♪ We've got oversize mallets pegs, wickets, and balls ♪ Plus a few upgrades that we just resolved ♪ ♪ Our core encryption's all the way from here to City Hall ♪ ♪ Are you feeling lucky? Are you feeling immortal? ♪ ♪ Watch us take shots through this quantum portal ♪ ♪ It's another dimension we can navigate ♪ And if you miss the peg you can recalibrate ♪ ♪ It's better than the original, no debate ♪ This is not croquet ♪ ♪ This is Croquet Y-8 ♪ ♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. ♪ -[bleats] -[Dr. Doofenshmirtz] Welcome, Perry the Plat-- Off, off. I bet you're wondering why I'm dressed as a traditional Drusselstinian shepherd, right? Well, that's because sheep are a part of my latest dastardly plan. Also, I've taken up knitting. I made this adorable sweater for you. The stitching took twice as long as the online tutorial said it would, but... It's a little big on you, but we can fix that. -[beep] -Ha, ha, ha. [whirrs] There you go, much better. Now you look like an adorable duck-billed baby. A trapped, adorable duck-billed baby. That's you. Coochie, coochie, coo. Ah, yes, the eternal question, Perry the Platypus, do you even sheep, bro? When I was a lad, I had trouble sleeping, so my parents told me to try counting sheep, which is weird and not helpful. I mean, it's not as weird as counting copper-topped whittling crabs to get rid of leg cramps, but still, you get the idea. Granted, we had a lot of sheep for accounting purposes, but it just never really worked for me. But counting sheep does work for a lot of people. Hence, and behold, the thing that you're already beholding, my Go-To-Sheep-Inator. Look at Perry the Platypus. This is my favorite part. The inator rehydrates sheep from a packet of dehydrated sheep that I ordered off of a Drusselstinian website. [announcer] Dehydrated sheep. Just add water and watch them grow. It's fun, it's easy, and profitable. My plan is to give everyone all the sheep they can count, putting all of Danville to sleep, allowing me to take over the... What? What? You're giving me that look? You no likey? You know, they can't all be gems, Perry the Platypus. [sighs] You really know how to take the wind out of a guy's sails, you know that? Hey, buddy, no! The scheme wasn't that bad! Hey, I knitted that! -[smacks] -[groans] No fair! You distracted me with implied criticism! 215 00:0