Original subtitles

♪ Where in the world is Carmen ♪

♪ Sandiego? Sandiego?♪

♪ Sandiego? ♪

♪ Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

Esteemed colleagues,

I am thrilled to announce that I have solved our problem.

You went and found spare parts to repair our brain wipe doohickey?

Our ongoing problem.

You captured Carmen Sandiego?

Our separate-but-related other ongoing problem.

The all-too-frequent failures of our highly-trained operatives,

which I can only attribute to… human error.

Not again.

We should never allow Saira to visit her Himalayan Laboratory

without adult supervision. She simply has too many toys there.

If we remove human error from the equation,

our success rate would skyrocket, and I would no longer be tasked

with wiping memories of VILE from our former students.

So, you're gonna train monkeys to steal for us?

It is quite funny if you picture it.

But do not be absurd, Coach Brunt.

Programming will eliminate any need for training, with…

the ultimate VILE operative.

My Robo-Robber is programmed to steal,

with hands of steel.

No, no, no.

Oh, no. You don't want to do…

that.

A minor hiccup. Will circle back.

Hiccup? More like a belch.

Perhaps we should focus our attention

on the rather large sum of stolen gold bullion

currently languishing in Bavaria.

My operative has been dispatched, Gunnar.

In fact, we cooked up a rather delicious plan

to smuggle it out of the country

Red, I have intel that VILE'S planning a meet and greet

with someone who calls herself Madame Goldlove.

There's a name.

Think they might be meeting to discuss, oh, I don't know?

The gold that vanished from that German bank a few weeks back?

Bingo. The meet's happening in the German state of Bavaria.

Exactly 24 hours from now during first… period.

First period?

There's... something I need to tell you, Red.

Mom and dad decided I spend way too much time alone in my room,

which means goodbye, home school,

and hello, public school.

That... may take some getting used to.

Or not.

Phone, laptop, tablet. I plan on staying connected.

I appreciate that, Player, but really, school comes first.

Says the drop-out.

Crime school doesn't count, and you know I'm all about education.

Ha!

Well, can't be late on my first day. I'll book your flight from the school bus.

Coming in for a landing. Open wide!

That's a lot of paint for one small drawing.

I decided you have enough space here for one big drawing.

Zack, Ivy. We're off to Bavaria.

Oh, land of giant pretzels and those short pants with suspenders!

Lederhosen.

But, yo-de-lay-he-who'll take care of Shadowsan?

Noted. Ivy, girls' trip.

Whoo-hoo!

Boy's night! Oh, yeah!

Anything we should know about a certain Madame Goldlove?

Few have met her.

But her passion for bullion is rumored to be exceeded

only by her notoriously cruel and vicious nature.

Girls' trip. Whoo-hoo.

Hello?

I thought you were going to release me?

You have no idea how happy I am to see you again.

Sorry, mate. I don't believe we've met.

Of course, I was conscious at the time. You were not.

Do you care to tell me what you were doing on the train from Poitiers

to Paris 18 months ago, Monsieur Calloway?

You have the wrong guy. I've never been to Paris or France.

And yet I saw you there with my own two eyes.

Unless you happen to have a twin?

Not that I know of. I'm an orphan.

But I was in Sydney at the time, hospital stay.

Having a wart removed from your tissue of lies?

Got electrocuted on the job. Zap! Really laid me low.

There's a pretty big chunk of my life I don't have any memory of.

Since Player's occupied, I'll do the honors.

We're heading to… the largest state in Germany, Bavaria.

The Alps run through the region.

They're a mountain range that extends through Central Europe.

Woah! That's one wicked-sweet storybook palace!

That's Neuschwanstein Castle.

Commissioned in 1868 by King Ludwig the Second of Bavaria.

You can see why he was sometimes called "The Fairy Tale King."

Oh, Bavaria's famous for its Oktoberfest.

An annual festival that lasts more than two weeks.

It began in 1810, to celebrate the marriage of Crown Prince Ludwig,

who went on to become the first King Ludwig of Bavaria.

Zack would have a field day with all that food.

Bavarian cuisine has plenty to offer,

such as weisswurst, or white sausages.

The pretzels, as Zack mentioned, and even...

Chocolate? My one true weakness.

Phew.

Wish I were nursing a toasty mug of hot chocolate right now.

It's freezing out here!

It's nearly showtime, Ivy.

If VILE's meeting a potential buyer for the stolen gold,

this may be our only shot at letting them to lead us to the loot.

Copy that, Carm.

Just wish my earbud would stay put.

Gross! It's Zack's!

I hope you enjoyed your brunch of bacon

and gummi grubworms with extra bacon, Sensei.

Now, I am ready for my training.

Or, we can watch Rogue Vendetta 8: Rideshare Nightmare?

You haven't seen one to seven? We can binge!

From your hospital stay.

We have records of your release…

Yet, no records of your admittance.

So tell me, how does one leave a hospital without first entering?

Unless of course you were born there.

Furthermore, the nursing staff has no recollection of you.

So you were either suffering from a rare form of contagious amnesia...

Or your discharge papers were doctored,

just as your release from Interpol Paris seems to have been.

Which I also have zero recollection of.

You are a walking enigma, Calloway.

Do you remember anything from your supposed hospital stay?

It's all a blank.

But no one wants to piece together

that missing period of my life more than I do.

He's telling the truth.

We may be able to help,

but the means I'm considering is highly experimental.

It won't hurt, will it?

My ears are in need of some serious disinfecting.

Ugh!

Dash Haber.

And he has excellent hearing.

The crow flies at midnight.

That's a secret pass phrase. He thinks you're Goldlove.

He's waiting to hear the reply phrase.

- Mm-hm. - Mm-hm?

Uh.

Thought you were someone else.

He's obviously never met her, so play along.

Remember, cruel and vicious.

Oh, you have the right someone.

I was too stunned by the sight of your face to respond.

My… face?

Your silly face.

And the silly sounds that came spitting out of it.

Phew!

Have you never heard the saying, "Say it don't spray it"?

I… I was only trying to clearly enunciate the code words, ma'am.

If you think I would lower myself to play your even sillier word games,

perhaps you should picture yourself as my personal chew toy.

Wow. You may want to dial it back.

Oh, boy.

Look, I'm just following orders.

I need to hear the correct reply, or the deal's off.

Auf Wiedersehen, madame.

Hugo, we are looking for someone named...

The crow flies at midnight.

But can the crow carry a tune?

"But can the crow carry a tune." That is…

the correct response.

But can the crow carry a tune?

Are you happy now, biggest of babies?

Ecstatic. Now follow me, if you like gold.

Like it? I love it. I love gold.

And you would be?

Dash Haber.

I was expecting a male operative.

She knew the reply phrase.

Do not make me tear the nose hairs from your face.

With my teeth!

We have intel that Carmen Sandiego may be in the area,

so there has been a slight change of plans.

I have heard of this Carmen Sandiego.

If she were bold enough to interfere with me,

I would crack her like a little red pistachio.

Another operative is waiting to meet you at Neuschwanstein Castle.

Does VILE not realize it is a tourist trap?

Do you not realize that VILE prefers hiding in plain sight?

Come, Hugo. To Neuschwanstein Castle.

No!

What is it?

It is… your hat.

The sight of which offends my cruel and vicious sensibilities.

Especially from this angle.

After you, madame.

Ivy, can you hear me?

Sorry to bug you on your first day of school, Player.

Everyone, please welcome our new student.

Go ahead and introduce yourself.

Hi. I'm new here. My friends call me Player.

Your real name, not your gamertag.

Oh, right, sorry. Hey everyone, I'm...

Personal devices must be turned off in the classroom.

Sorry, Mr. Humphrey. I'll just...

I'll go ahead and turn that off too.

Maybe I should go put all of this in my locker.

What's up, Red?

I lost contact with Ivy. Any chance you can trace her commlink?

On it. But staying connected here at school might be harder than I thought.

ROGUE VENDETTA RIDESHARE NIGHTMARE

What was your favorite part?

The end.

Me too! Totally didn't see that twist coming.

Okay, time to order pizza, then the ultimate showdown begins!

If it is a showdown that you seek,

perhaps you would benefit from proper training.

Ninja training?

Show me the way, Sensei.

The first skill a Ninja must master…

is stealth.

My body is a vessel, waiting to be filled with your wisdom.

Mastering stealth begins with mastering complete and total silence.

Are you sure?

Okay, feeling strong.

For how long?

Behold, the perfect thief.

Newly-improved, and now completely voice-activated.

Snatch my pocket pens, without me seeing you.

Oh!

Oh, "bait and switch". He's a real chip off the ol' block.

Please return my goggles, they are prescription. Hello?

Do you remember anything from 18 months ago?

You were on a train.

No!

Now hear the true name of VILE.

That's enough.

Monsieur Calloway, are you all right?

What? No!

Agents down!

I repeat, agents down!

Your palace awaits, madame.

This had better not be the funny business.

I know 15 different lethal martial arts,

and I will not hesitate to pound you into...

cacao?

Yum!

These confections are too rich to eat.

See?

Pure, 24 karat gold bullion.

Melted down and encased in the finest Bavarian chocolate.

A rather ingenious way to smuggle gold out of the country

and into your personal vault, wouldn't you say, Madame Goldlove?

What? Brown is my favorite color next to gold.

Do you want to fight about it?

Say the word.

I'm good, really.

Then spare the jibber-jabber so I may take a self-guided tour.

German engineering, das ist gut.

Carm? You there?

Sure hope boy's night is going better than girls' trip.

How long was that?

Thirty-two seconds.

Oh, yeah! New personal best!

I mean, new personal best.

Perhaps we should proceed to the second skill a Ninja must master.

The Pressure Point Pinch.

Find the point where the muscles of your neck

meet the base of the skull.

Right here?

Very good, now pay attention.

If you are satisfied, madame, the payment instructions.

It would seem Hugo was correct. You are clearly not Dash Haber.

Carmen Sandiego?

But, who are you?

Madame Goldlove, fool!

Oh, boy.

Then who are you?

I…

What she said! She's an impostor!

What?

Do you want to fight?

No! Why? Do you?

I mean, yes. I will mash you into an easily mashed thing!

The silly one does not interest me, Hugo.

She is the pistachio I wish to crack.

Care to insult my hat now?

You know, on second thought, it looks really sharp on you.

- Ooh! - Get her!

Who wants candy?

Oh, woah!

Oh, boy.

Ohh, aah!

Oh, fudge!

What now, Carm?

Duck and run.

Woah!

Eww! Way to ruin chocolate for me.

Woah!

Gute nacht, fräulein! (Good night, Miss)

You tipped off the polizei?

Beats trying to deliver ten tons of gold bullion to their doorstep.

Hey, Goldilove!

Way to rock girls' trip.

And that's how the chocolate gnome crumbled.

Human error!

Indeed, Saira.

But have we not witnessed our share of mechanical error today as well?

Since you mention it, all your talk of gold inspired me

to incorporate the precious metal into my precious metal.

The excellent conductivity has really improved Roby's performance.

Roby the Robo-Robber?

You might say Roby now possesses hands of steel and a heart of gold.

It's been a while since you left bad guys behind for the police, huh, Carm?

Not since leaving Gray for Interpol, on the train to Paris.

And you were pretty cruel and vicious. I need to remember not to cross you.

Who knew I had a big bad Ivy inside me, just waiting to bust out?

Four, three, seven. Four, three, seven, nine, five, two.

Four, three, seven, nine, five, two.

Four, three, seven, nine, five, two, five, five.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Voice recognition and passcode matched, 100 percent.

Crackle? How could he possibly recall our distress code?

Dr. Bellum used the brain wipe doohickey on him.

You know, before it broke.

Perhaps we should take the call and find out what's on his mind.