Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

KIDS: Aye, aye, Captain.

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Oh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

[ hearty laughter]

Captioning sponsored by MTV NETWORKS

One Monster Krabby Patty, please.

Humph. No one's ordered a Monster Patty in ages.

SpongeBob?

One Monster Krabby Patty.

D-d-did you say a M-Monster Krabby Patty?

Uh, one Monster Krabby Patty.

Huh?

Monster Krabby Patty?

ALL: Monster Krabby Patty?

[ toilet flushing]Monster Krabby Patty?

Oh, dear Neptune.

Oh, boy.

We can do this!

At the count of three, we flip!

Ready?

One...

two...

three!

[ spatula snaps]Oh... bad.

[ screaming]

[ squeaking]

[ screaming]

[ wailing]

[ wailing]

[ wailing][ wailing]

[ wailing]

[ wailing]

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Go on.

[ wailing]

[ wailing]

[ wailing] [ wailing]

[ siren wailing]

[ door shuts]

[ tires screeching]

Well, we'd better get back to work.

Work?

How could I go back to work without...

without Spat?!

Use another spatula.

What?!

There is only one spatula for me,

and that is Spat.

Spat, wait up! Spat!

I'm coming, Spat!

[ beeping]

Oh, Spat.

We've been through so much together.

[ sizzling]

[ sizzling]

[ laughing]

Oh...

uh-huh...

[ clanking]

[ laughing]

[ screaming]

[ laughing]

There's no easy way to say this.

SpongeBob, if I were you,

I would give serious consideration

to start thinking about... a replacement spatula.

[ whimpering]

Go home, get some rest.

We'll... try to do everything we can.

Thank you, Doctor.

Oh, I'm not a doctor.

I'm an actor researching for a role.

Yes! Whoo-hoo!

I am so totally gonna get this part!

[ sighs]

[ sniffling]

Replacement spatula?

How could anything ever replace...

Hey, look at that!

Ooh!

Looks fancy.

So shiny...

Oh, those lines, so... sleek.

What am I talking about?

I don't need this!

Maybe I do need this.

I would give serious consideration to...

[ gong chimes]

...a replacement spatula.

Ow!

Uh-uh. No touchy-touchy the Le Spatula.

It's very, very expensive. I'm sorry.

Of course, if you purchase this fine item,

you may... hold it.

Well, I've got some loose change in my pocket.

Will this cover it?

Um....

mm, mm, mm... mm, mm, mm, mm, mm...

mm...

No.

How about now?

No.

Now?

No.

Now? No.

Now? No.

Now? No.

[ high-pitched blurt]

Now?

No.

That's everything I have.

Now can I buy Le Spatula?

Everything, huh?

Nice outfit.

[ singing happily]

Good evening, sir.

Yaah!

[ whistling]

Hmph!

Oh! Hey, Granny, what's shakin'?

[ singing]

[ continues singing]

Mm, breezy today, heh.

Nice outfit, SpongeBob!

[ snorting, guffawing]

Thanks, Squidward.

It was worth every penny.

What's all the lollygagging about?!

Mr. Krabs, get a load of SpongeBob!

[ cackling]This better be good!

[ singing happily]

Soon everyone will know of your beauty.

All right, what's going on in... Oh!

Don't you have any shame, boy?

All my shame went in here, Mr. Krabs.

KRABS: Le Spa-tu-ler!

What in blazes isthat?

Oh, just the answer to our little production dilemma.

Well, what can it do?

Can it make me famous?

Anything you want and more!

Ooh, that sounds exciting.

Let me have a go at it!

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, no can do.

What?! Are you going against your commanding officer?

No, it's not that.

It's just that this is a highly developed piece of engineering

that takes quality time to master.

With that fancy machinery, I expect you

to make Krabby Patties twice as fast.

Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem, Mr. Krabs.

In fact...

[ French accent]: Le Spatula 3000,

at your service.

Huh! Impressive.

Well, let's see that thing impress me even more--

by bringing in more customers

and more money in me pocket.

[ chuckling]

Oh, you won't believe what Le Spatula is capable of.

Ready to show 'em, buddy?

Oh, it's okay, no need to be shy.

It's always tough the first day on the job.

Uh, can I get one Krabby Patty, please?

SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty.

One Krabby Patty coming up lickety-split.

Huh?

Spat, is there something wrong, pal?

I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say,

Krabby Patty!

I am designed for the utmost in culinary cuisine.

No less!

But... but I thought we were friends.

Friends with you? Ha!

We are not even in the same social class!

Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook!

[ wild laughter]

Le Spatula, wait!

I gave up everything for you!

We had something!

How's thatfor something?

Au revoir, peasant!

Have fun ladling in your greasy spoon!

[ spits loudly]

What happened?!

My spatula's gone, Mr. Krabs!

But how are you gonna flip Krabby Patties

without a spatu-ler?!

I hada spatula once,

a realspatula,

one that stood by me through thick and thin,

through grease and gristle,

and I betrayed his loyalty...

like a fool!

I always did like your old spatu-ler.

He got the job done right every time.

[ gasps]: You're right, Mr. Krabs.

The truemeasure of a good spatula is by his actions,

not by some fancy chrome and buttons!

I've got to find my old spatula!

Go to him! Go now, boy!

Go before I lose all me customers!

[ sobbing]

[ beeping]

[ steady tone]

Spatula?

It can't be true!

[ crying]: It's too late!

SpongeBob, I... I hate to tell you this.

I know! He's moved on to that big kitchen drawer in the sky!

[ sniffles]: He's... gone!

Actually, it's not that.

I didn't get the acting part.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[ sobbing]Oh, by the way,

that's not your spatula.

Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary.

[ gasps]: Spatula!

Old buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better!

[ squeaks]

Spatula, what's wrong?

[ squeaks]

But I didn't mean to betray you.

Mr. Krabs needed a replacement.

Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know.

It was a moment of weakness!

[ sobbing]: I'm sorry!

Oh, what have I done?!

What have I done?!

[ loud sobbing]

[ loud blubbering]

All that glitters is not gold.

[ sobbing]

Good-bye, best friend!

[ sobbing]

[ sobbing]

[ sobbing]

[ sobbing, wailing]

I'll never find another spatula like him again.

[ sizzling]

Spatula?

You're back!

[ romantic orchestral music plays]

Oh, Spatula, now that we're together again,

nothing will ever separate us.

One Monster Krabby Patty.

Okay, buddy, we can do this.

Ready? One... two...

three!

[ loud snap]

Ooh! [ laughing]

[ SpongeBob laughing]

Nothing. Ah, well.

[ clinking]

That sounds like a quarter crying for help.

Come to papa!

Hold it right there, buddy.

My son just dropped that quarter.

Yeah? Well, that kid looks pretty shifty to me.

How do I know he didn't steal it?

[ groans]

Hey!

That little brat's throwing perfectly good money away!

Oh, so if I can't have it,

no one...

I hope he throws all your retirement money down a hole!

Poor little quarter.

What the...?

This well is full of money!

Don't worry, little fellas!

I'll save you!

[ grunting]

Oh, it's no use.

Me poop deck's too big.

Make a wish, dear.

All my wishes have already come true.

Oh, you.

No!

I'll save you, money!

Gotcha!

What do you heartless brutes think you're doing?!

Um, using the wishing well.

Well, you toss in a coin and make a wish.

And then what?

And that's it.

Nothing else happens.It's fun!

You mean suckers throw money down a hole for fun?

That's the greatest scam ever!

Can we have our quarter back now?

SQUIDWARD: SpongeBob,

why aren't those patties ready?

You can't rush perfection.

I'm not rushing perfection.

I'm rushing you!

[ laughing]

Always the kidder, Squidward.

[ grumbles]

Oh, this job stinks!

But at least I'm not digging ditches.

KRABS: Squidward! SpongeBob!

I got a new job for you.

KRABS: X marks the spot

of the Eugene Krabs memorial wishing well.

A wishing well, here?! Wow!

Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial anything?

Oh, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?

Yeah, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?

No, I don't!

And neither does Mr. Krabs!Well, I do.

This well's gonna make a lot of dreams come true.

What's the first thing you're gonna wish for?

To be as far away from you as possible.

Come on, SpongeBob, this hole's not gonna dig itself.

And I'm certainly not gonna do it.

Squidward, aren't you excited?

This is really gonna help people.

♪ Take a penny and some magic ♪

♪ Even though your life is tragic ♪ Hey!

♪ You can throw all your dreams down the well ♪

♪ Although every day, the pain grows ♪

♪ You'll ride unicorns on rainbows ♪

♪ If you throw all your dreams down the well ♪

♪ When your life's come apart at the seams ♪

♪ And you've given up all your dreams ♪

♪ Here is just the means

♪ To make those dreams come true ♪

♪ No more sufferin', no more sighin' ♪

Ow!♪ No more pain and no more cryin' ♪

I'm not crying!♪ When you throw all your dreams down the well ♪

Well, Squidward, what do you think?

That was the worst song I ever heard.

But at least this stupid well's finished.

It's beautiful!

[ sniffing] You smell that, boys?

That's the smell of money!

You mean magic, don't you?

All I can smell is that Dumpster.

[ flies buzzing]

All right, Squidward, you can go back to the register.

As long as there's no singing.

And I've got a date with a Krabby Patty.

Hold on there, SpongeBob.

Let me show you your new station.

It's kind of a promotion.

Sort of.

A promotion?!

Why do I have to go down in the well?

To collect the money!

How long do I have to stay down here?

See you in eight hours.

Thanks for the promotion.

It sure is dark and scary in here.

[ teeth chattering]

I sure wish I had a fancy telescope.

One that works underwater.

That'd make me happier than a june bug

at a porch light sale.

Our very first wish.

I can't wait till it comes... Oh!

I have presented you with a monetary offering,

as custom dictates.

My wish, nay, my command,

is to be taller.

Just a little.

Just big enough to crush my enemies

like the vermin they are!

Gosh... Ow!

I wish I had a snazzy new boat.

I want to be a hotrod mama.

[ gasps]

[ slurping]

Hey!

Oh, my gosh! Who said that?

Patrick...!

How do you know my name?

Patrick, this is a wishing well.

Just throw in a coin and make a wish.

Okay, magical talking trashcan.

[ coins jingling]

I wish SpongeBob were here to see this.

Patrick...?!

Hi, SpongeBob.

I got my wish.

Patrick, you're supposed to let go

of the coin when you throw it.

But I got my wish.

Well, we got six and a half hours

till the end of my shift.

What do you want to do now?

Tag! You're it. Tag, you're it.

Tag! You're it.

Tag! You're it. Tag, you're it.

Tag, you're it. Tag! You're it.

Tag! You're it.

SpongeBob, what kind of haul did you get?

I did great, Mr. Krabs.

I got a nickel from Sandy, two pennies from Mrs. Puff,

a penny from Plankton, and this slightly used pair of dentures.

And I fell on my head.

Well, I can probably get a couple of bucks for Patrick.

Nah.

You better just send up the money.

This wishing well was a wonderful idea, Mr. Krabs.

Has anyone's wish come true yet?

Uh... not yet.

But I'm sure, if you believe strong enough,

and dug deep enough,

everyone's wishes will come true.

Really?

Yeah, sure, whatever.

Can we come out now?

Goodness, no.

You gotta stay down there

just in case any late-night wishers come by.

I'll be back for you at dawn.

Oh... no one's wishes are coming true.

What did we do wrong?

I know I believe hard enough.

Maybe I just didn't dig deep enough.

What do you say, Patrick?

Are you ready to dig for some magic?

Yeah!

♪ Oh, the magic has gone missin' ♪

♪ And everyone's still wishin'

♪ But their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground ♪

♪ You'll find magic under rubble ♪

♪ So, Patrick, grab a shovel

♪ And here is where the magic can be found ♪

♪ We're at the bottom of a well ♪

♪ But, man, won't it be swell

♪ When we make everyone's wishes all come true? ♪

Holy mackerel!

Look, Patrick!

We've struck magic!

Is that good?

Next to being a fry cook,

it's the most important thing I've ever done.

It's the only thing I've ever done.

SQUIDWARD: Having fun down there, SpongeBob?

[ laughing]

Hi, Squidward.Patrick's down there, too?

It just gets better and better.

Do you want to make a wish?

Ha! Ha! I got mywish.

You two are stuck in a dark hole and away from me.

Guess what, Squidward?

We found the magic.

[ laughing]

There's no magic, SpongeBob.

Wishing wells are just a scam to fool saps like you.

[ laughing]

No, it's true.

We didfind the magic.

Oh, I wish you could see it.

Ha, ha, ha... oop!

Squidward, you decided to join the party.

Party!

Let me outta here.

We were just gonna play some party games.

Tag! You're it.Tag! You're it.

Tag! You're it. I gotta get outta here.

Go, Squidward! Go, Squidward!

Go, Squidward! Go, Squidward!

[ screaming, groaning ]

There's no way to climb outta here.

Maybe if you had more upper-arm strength.

Yeah, you should work out more.

Well, why don't I just start right now?

After all, I got a couple of dumbbells right here.

[ laughing]

I don't get it.

Would you not stand so close?

You're making me claustrophobic.

What does claustrophobic mean?

It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.

No, it doesn't!

Ho, ho, ho!

[ giggling]

Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

It's not working, Patrick.

Darn.

Um, Squidward,

You're standing on my foot.

Oops. Oh, sorry, SpongeBob.

And you got your elbow in my ribs.

Eww.

Patrick.

And stop stepping in my potato salad.

Hey, hey, hey. Guys!

Stop pushing me, Patrick.

You mean like this?

No, like this!

[ slugging]

You shouldn't fight in here.

This is a magical place.

Patrick, get off of me!

[ slugging continues]

I told you I am claustrophobic.

Nice try, Squidward,

but there's no Santa Claus here.

SQUIDWARD: Patrick!

Good morning, SpongeBob!

Let's see what you got.

Boy, it's heavy!

Must be a lot of money.

Free! I'm free!

Squidward? What were you doing down there?

I didn't approve any overtime.

Or were you sneaking here, in the dead of night,

for free wishes?

The only thing I wish for is to be far away from here.

Ow.

Bye, Squidward.

Enjoy your trip.

Lucky.

So how much money did you make last night?

We didn't get any money,

but we found something better.

We found the magic.

The what?

We dug down deeper in the well and found the magic!

Now all the wishes will come true.

Listen closely, SpongeBob.

You don't get what you want in life just by wishing for it.

[ shrieking]

What in the deep blue is that?

There's a full moon out tonight.

Do you like my new telescope I wished for?

That's great, Sandy.

That wishing well sure does work.

Just a coincidence.

What do you think of my new hotrod?

It's beautiful, Mrs. Puff.

How's about letting me take it for a spin?

[ both laughing]

No.

See, Mr. Krabs? She wished for that boat.

You mean she stole that boat.

Morning, SpongeBob, Krabs.

Beautiful day.

[ crazed laughter]

Is that proof enough for you?

You'll never get me to believe in magic. Never!

Just to prove it to you,

I'll demonstrate.

I wish I was steamed

and served with a side of melted butter.

[ laughing]

Mr. Krabs! No!

Well, where's your magic now?

Oh, where am I?

What's going on here?

Uh-oh.

I dobelieve in magic.

I do believe in magic. I do believe in magic.

Oh, no...!

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org