Original subtitles

You said -

and I don't say this often

to other men on the show: great hair.

(audience laughing)

Thank you, sir.

Thank you. Thank you.

Doesn't come up a lot.

Thank you.

Yeah, really.

Thank you. It means a lot coming from you.

You are the king of hair.

You have the only remaining pompadour in the business, so.

(audience laughing)

It is true.

Between me and you.

No one has the nerve to sport this thing anymore.

(audience laughing)

No, no, but they -

(audience laughing)

(Conan whooshing)

All right, yeah. All right.

Yes, yes. So I'm the only black comic with a perm.

So between the two of us,

(Conan laughing)

we've got the niche industry already hooked up, I believe.

Let me also ask about the jewelry.

This is nice jewelry.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm becoming the new Liberace it appears.

(audience laughing)

Everybody wants to talk about the jewelry.

I just need the motivation.

I need to look down and see I'm doing something

to get me excited about things.

Right, right, right.

Yeah.

So you look down and you see,

"Oh, things are good things."

Yes, things are good.

Don't worry about the economy, the recession.

(all laughing)

The mortgage.

Gas prices. Just ignore all that.

Oh yeah.

That's a great message for everyone, I think.

(all laughing)

Now let's talk about this.

I know that we all have heroes in show business.

Yeah.

One of your all-time heroes I'm told is Prince.

And you got to meet him fairly recently.

How did that go?

I did. It was wonderful.

He was all the things I thought he was going to be.

(audience laughing)

He's a genius and smart,

and I think he's David Blaine secretly.

He's like a magician.

David Blaine the - You think he's a magician?

I think he is.

I was talking to him and he was like,

"Would you care for some tea?"

And I was like, "Yeah, of course."

And he was gone.

(audience laughing)

He was just - he was already gone.

Then he came back from another part

of the room with a tray with 13 teas on it.

(audience laughing)

It was amazing.

He's very mysterious.

Yes, yes.

He loves to have all this mystery,

and you don't know where he's going, what he's doing.

No.

What he's talking about half the time.

No, no.

And he'll wear pumps and be looking at you

like there's nothing wrong.

(all laughing)

He'll be having fun but it's -

He commits so much to wearing pumps that it works.

Yes, yes.

It makes you think about it.

Could I get away with it on the basketball court?

Yeah.

(audience laughing)

Maybe one time.

Now, okay.

Are you taller than Prince?

How does that work out?

He's cheating, he's got pumps on.

(audience laughing)

Right.

Can't live up with that.

Yeah.

I'm gonna say I'm taller just 'cause he's not here.

Right. That'll work.

You would know nothing -

He could appear suddenly right now.

(audience laughing)

13 teas.

You talking about me?

(Conan mimics electric guitar)

(audience laughing)

Care for chamomile?

(both laughing)

Okay, let's talk about the height issue.

Did your height affect you, do you think growing up?

Did it influence, you know, your life, your comedy?

I think so.

It made me very cynical and bitter.

(audience laughing)

I had heard about a growth spurt

and it was like the Lochness legend.

Everybody gets a growth spurt

and it's gon' happen and just wait,

it's gon' be one summer

and everything's gon' change.

And I'm grown now,

(audience laughing)

and I'm still waiting on that summer to come.

You're still waiting?

Yeah.

You're still waiting on this growth spurt?

Yes. Yes.

It could happen.

It could. Maybe I'm just late.

I'm willing to wait.

It's gonna happen like that.

(Conan snaps fingers)

I hope so.

Do you think that this affected your relationship

with women, your success with women?

It made me try really hard

'cause women want tall, dark and handsome,

and I wasn't able to fulfill any of those.

(audience laughing)

When I got a woman, I really tried hard, you know?

Yeah.

I think short guys make better lovers

just 'cause once we get on, we don't want to get off.

(all laughing)

Did you - okay.

(all laughing)

All these images are going through my head.

I know that came out right and wrong at the same -

"Get off me. Not yet."

(audience laughing)

Did you ever - okay.

Did you ever date a much taller woman?

Yeah. I dated a WNBA player once.

Really?

She was 6'3".

6'3"?

Yeah, and I thought it was gon' be -

I don't know, it was just weird.

(audience laughing)

Because I was proud that it didn't matter

in the relationship, but it's still

you're a kid holding your mom's hand.

(audience laughing)

We're in the mall like.

(scattered applause)

Lift me up and kiss me.

It just doesn't -

(all laughing)

Yeah. Yeah.

I tried though, you know?

I guess you have a bunch of friends

who are rap stars, rappers.

Is that right?

Mm-hmm.

And you maintain, you know comedians and you know rappers.

You think that rappers are funnier than comedians.

Is that true?

I'm saying some of these rap guys are just hilarious.

Right.

I didn't understand that they were that funny.

Like Snoop is just really hilarious.

Snoop Dogg is funny, yeah.

He's doing all these things.

He's got two TV shows, he's doing the movie,

he's got three albums, he's coaching football.

He's doing a show about being a father,

and you hear he's high

And you're like, "I can't get

out of the room if I'm high."

Yeah.

(audience laughing)

How is he - How is he doing all this stuff?

Remarkable man, yeah.

He really is.

The rap world has just been amazingly hilarious

to find out how many funny guys are out there.

Yeah.

And also they have their own language

Yeah.

and just the way of living

Yeah.

and just this bravado and it works.

You know all about it.

You're there with us at the parties.

(audience laughing)

It's true. Yeah.

I'm a fixture at every rap party.

(all laughing)

"Hiya, fellas. How's it going?"

(all laughing)

Ladies and gentlemen, the pompadour.

Yeah.

(all laughing)

Well, where's the fondue?

(all laughing)

(Katt exhaling)

(Conan laughing)

I'll put on a Monkees album.

(audience laughing)

Not a Negro function without fondue, that's for sure.

(all laughing)

You know, we've been talking about

a lot of things here.

And one of the things that I wanted to mention

is that you have your own clothing line.

This is real, right?

You're coming up with your own clothing line.

Yes, yes. Yeah.

I want to make sure I get to this before we go.

Tell us about the clothing line.

It's called Secret Pimps Society.

(audience laughing)

'Cause you know everybody's not able

(Conan laughing)

and it's a good thing to be able

to find somewhere where you can just find

wonderful fly clothes that nobody else

is gon' have on, but you.

Right.

And that becomes important.

And this works for everybody?

Would this work for me?

Everybody. Yeah, oh.

Are you kidding that -

You just started to change your mind.

It looks like you just changed into it right now.

You are the Secret Pimps Society right now.

(audience laughing)

I'm the pimp that's heavily more

to the finance side of things.

(audience laughing)

Yes, yes. Yeah.

No, no, no, no.

This is not looking good this quarter.

(audience laughing)

Let me look at the numbers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, let me mention this.

A few things: "American Hustle" is now available on DVD.

It is.

Katt's gonna to be at the Gibson Amphitheater in Los Angeles

June 26th, 27th and 28th,

True.

as part of the "It's Pimpin' Pimpin'" tour.

Exactly.

(audience laughing)

(Conan laughing)

I'm gonna come in right in the middle

Yeah.

and serve fondue, that's gonna be really big.

(all laughing)

It'll be great.

You are very funny

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

and great to talk to please come back soon

Thank you. You're an icon.

and congratulations on your success

(audience cheering)

Katt Williams. We'll be back with "Thrice," stick around.