Original subtitles

Grr!

Woo‐hoo! Nothing like a relaxing Sunday drive.

Oh, yeah!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Hey, buddy. You wanna race?

I don't see a downside.

Aaah! Whoa!

Hoverboarding isn't as much fun as I remember.

Aaah!

Driver, please stop the bus. I'll be getting off here.

Whoa!

Ugh!

Oh, no! You've stained my dress!

Now no one will dance with me at the ice‐cream social.

(Beeping)

AMY: Sonic! Got a crisis here!

Trying to make a Baked Alaska, but I'm all out of eggs!

Don't worry, Ames. I'm on it! Sorry, Tails, gotta go.

I can live with that.

(Whistling)

Ugh! Grr!

Sorry, Egghead. It was an accident.

If you want, you can splash mud on me.

Grr!

‐ Now we're even. ‐ Oh, yeah?

Grr!

(Laughs)

(Crash)

VILLAGERS: Boo!

He covered me with mud! Why are you booing me?

‐ Grr! ‐ (Screaming)

Who knew all those years of being a dillweed

would rub people the wrong way?

If I want to win hearts and minds,

I need to change my image. But how?

(Clamouring)

I can't believe it's finally here!

Shut up and take my money!

I assure you there are enough copies

of the new Tommy Thunder video game to go around!

Don't listen to him! They're in limited supply.

Push and shove! Elbows out!

These mouth breathers are really going gaga for your merch.

I'm tellin' ya, Eggy, since he put out this video game,

Tommy's image has never been hotter.

I bet a video game will improve my image too.

(Chuckles) Imagine that!

Eggman in a video game.

Hot new game just released today!

Finally, a video game starring a pudgy guy with a moustache!

Can I get a new controller, please?

Don't you wanna see the newest, coolest video game ever?

‐ Super Plumber Brothers? ‐ No.

‐ Mortal Bloodsport VII? ‐ No!

‐ Comedy Chimp's Combat Golf? ‐ No! Stache Smash!

It's a side‐scrolling strategy platformer,

full of twists, turns, and egg puns!

To "beat" it, you need to collect all seven ‐

‐ Pass. ‐ Why?

It's so old‐fashioned. Where are the cool graphics?

The boss battles? The gratuitous violence?

Besides, everyone knows all the best games

use motion capture.

You're living in the past, man.

Grr!

Aaah!

I planted SpyBots everywhere.

Once Team Sonic arrives, I'll record their movements

using my patented Yolk Capture technology

for my new state‐of‐the‐art SuperStache Smash!

Here they come now.

(Evil laugh)

(Battle cry)

(Laughs)

Yah!

Oh, this is great!

These are gonna be the sickest boss battles ever!

Now, time for the star of the game!

(Martial‐art cries)

Do we even retaliate,

or has he humiliated himself enough already?

I could spin‐attack him over the horizon,

but I'd kinda feel bad about it.

Eh, whatever.

Aaah!

I've got all I need of Team Sonic,

but somehow my sweet moves don't look as cool as I'd hoped.

Maybe 'cause you're getting your butt kicked?

No, no, that's not it.

Might I suggest motion‐capturing a foe

who could actually defeat Sonic?

Then just digitally replace their image with yours!

What a brilliant idea! Glad I thought of it.

‐ It's why you're the boss, sir. ‐ But who do I know

that stands a chance at defeating Sonic the Hedgehog?

Aaah!

Shadow, I have a proposition for you.

Find some other pawn, Eggman. I'll never work with you again.

Now, get out of my sight.

(Grumbles)

The only way we're gonna get Shadow for my plan

is if he thinks Sonic's been talking mad trash about him.

Hey, Sonic! What do you think of Shadow the Hedgehog?

I mean, ew, right?

What a random question. Why you asking me about him?

‐ I haven't seen him in weeks. ‐ Oh, just curious.

But, hey! Bet you'd love to beat him up, huh?

Beat him up? Nah. Never thought about it.

That battle last time was a bit of a whirlwind,

but he is a tough customer.

Yeah, but... how about his shoes?

‐ Aren't they weird‐looking? ‐ I could take 'em or leave 'em.

Where you getting the questions? Pulling 'em out of a bag?

I'm outta here.

Grr!

(Sing‐songy) Oh, Shadow!

(Groans) You again?

Just wanted to let you know I ran into Sonic today,

and he did not have the nicest things to say about you!

Shadow? He is. Weak. That. Wind. Bag.

Could. Never. Beat. Me.

What a. Weak. Weak. Weak. Wind. Bag. He is.

This aggression shall not stand.

Sonic and his friends shall pay.

Time to take out the trash.

Already on it! Then you'll go beat up Team Sonic, right?

(Grunts)

Here's a good one. A horse walks into a bar,

and the bartender says, "Hey! No animals in here!"

‐ Ugh! ‐ Knuckles! What happened?

If I had to guess, I'd say I was knocked into a wall.

Correction. Pummelled into a wall.

Shadow! What are you doing here?

Fox hunting.

Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!

Aaah!

I'll need a three‐camera setup

and a fourth giving me an overhead view.

Move, move, move!

Good thing I took that shadow‐boxing class!

(Battle cry)

Don't worry, Knux, I got him!

Yah!

(Gasps)

Aaah!

Oh, man, my video game's gonna be so epic!

That was almost too easy.

Well, it ain't over yet!

Eat hammer, punk!

(Battle cry)

‐ That all you got? ‐ We're just getting started!

Ooh! That'll make for some great cut‐scene dialogue.

(Battle cry)

Aaah!

(Groans) Sonic! Help!

About time you showed up, slowpoke.

Shadow, what have you done?

Say goodnight, Blue Boy!

Aw, man! A cliff‐hanger? I hate those.