Original subtitles

Grr!

TV: Looks like our killer had the necessary...

koala‐fications.

(Dramatic music)

Wombat's my favourite character on Marsupial Crime Unit.

His digestion's slow and so are his reflexes,

‐ but he always gets his man! ‐ Guess what, gang?

Meh Burger now delivers!

You get your order in 30 minutes or less, or it's free!

So, come on down!

Why do that if we're delivering?

I'd like to place an order.

Four Meh Burgers to Amy Rose's house.

See ya in 30 minutes or less!

(Sound of TV)

Come on, yield!

That's it, uncle!

Hey, come on!

Yeah!

‐ (Laughs) ‐ (Groaning)

(Knock on door)

Four Meh Burgers, piping cold.

You're three hours late! Well, at least the food's free.

Here's a comment card.

I'd appreciate a positive review,

so please don't fill it out honestly.

It says there's a focus group tomorrow

to review their delivery service.

Finally, a chance to make our voices heard

by cutting down something others worked really hard on!

On a scale from remarkable to exemplary,

how would you rate Meh Burger's delivery service?

It's a joke. I could do it in three minutes or less!

Three minutes? If you can do it in three minutes,

you just got yourself a job!

Couldn't pay me to work here.

We're not going to pay you.

Think just because we're a global corporation

that our employees deserve to make a living wage?

But I can compensate you in a chili dog

‐ for every successful delivery? ‐ You got yourself a deal!

BOTH: Huh! Sucker.

‐ There you go. One Meh Uniform. ‐ I'll wear it with pride.

Why would you do that?

Your first order. And fair warning,

our customers are notorious cheapskates,

so don't expect any tips.

That was easy and I got a big tip!

(Sighs)

Great googly moogly! It never stops!

Oh, that was fast! I didn't even have time to get my billfold.

Hold on.

Now, where is that thing? On my chifferobe? No.

In my portmanteau? No.

Oh, it must be next to the Victrola.

Here it is! Turns out, it was in my hand the whole time!

Next up, a Meh Meal for two... Huh? For Amy Rose?

(Coy giggling)

Amy, got the food for you and Mike The Ox?

Leroy The Turtle? Lady Goat?

Not that I care.

‐ It's not like you and I... ‐ It's for you, Sonic.

I thought you'd like a break from work.

Oh, OK, sure. But I only have a minute.

Well, this has been fun. Gotta go. Bye!

(Sighs)

Lunch is on me. I got six chili dogs coming my way.

Hey, those are non‐transferable.

Looks like I have to eat these. Sorry‐not‐sorry.

This job is awesome!

I can't foresee anything going wrong.

Hedgehog Abbey's about to start!

Where are my cucumber sandwiches?

Hi. I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!

I know who you are!

Lousy TV thinks I don't even know my own mortal enemy!

Meh Burger now delivers and we guarantee three minutes or less.

Or your order is free!

I don't want this slop any more! I want a Meh Burger,

delivered by Sonic the Hedgehog!

And wouldn't it be just glorious

if he was late and I got it for free?

(Evil laugh)

Well, well, Sonic the Hedgehog, delivering food... to me.

The extra pickles I ordered are nowhere to be found.

Looks like you'll have to run all the way ‐

Oh. Uh, and I wanted mayo, too!

And what's this? No ketchup for my fries?

The clock's still ticking until I get my full order.

May I assist you further, sir?

(Grumbles)

Hey, Dave, there's no 154 on Rabbit Row. Just 152 and 156.

‐ It must be a prank order. ‐ Tee‐hee!

(Chuckles)

(Grumbles)

I have devised a complicated plan of attack

that will create chaos beyond the scope of anything

Sonic could ever handle!

They will write poems and sing songs

of how I triumphed over that blue bumpkin!

(Evil laugh)

Huzzah!

So, what is this complicated plan of chaos?

I'll attack him when he leaves Meh Burger

and make him late for his deliveries!

It's more complicated than it sounds! You'll see!

Three deliveries on three different parts of the island,

in three minutes?

That's impossible! Not even you can pull this off.

It's totally under control.

Don't worry, Sonic. We'll fight this enemy attack.

You do the noble thing and deliver that greasy food

to people who don't feel like leaving their homes!

Here's your order, piping hot! That'll be 12 bucks.

Oh, Sonic. So good of you to bring this bountiful feast

that we didn't order, but you still expect us to pay for.

It won't be enough to feed everyone,

but I guess the children don't need to eat tonight.

(Groans)

Sliders for everyone!

You can't expect us to pay full price for such skimpy burgers.

How about a coupon for 10% off?

Oh, thank you. Now my wife can afford that surgery.

(Sighs)

Really, Egghead? Taking prisoners now?

Well, it won't work. I'll still make my deliveries

in three minutes or less.

Actually, it should be three minutes or fewer.

This always happens right after I get it washed.

(Shrieks)

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm ahead of schedule on my deliveries.

Grr!

‐ Who is it? ‐ It's Sonic with your delivery.

‐ Sonic's not here! ‐ No, man. I'm Sonic!

‐ Who is it? ‐ It's me, Sonic. Open the door!

‐ I have your delivery! ‐ Sonic?

Yeah, Sonic! Open up!

Sonic's not here, man!

(Cubot snickers)

(Nervous laugh)

Last one. This shouldn't be so bad.

One minute before you miss your deadline, Sonic!

You can't defeat all these robots

and penetrate my lair's defences before time is up!

Then my food'll be free and you'll have failed!

(Evil laugh)

A minute? Too much time if you ask me.

I may take a nap first.

There must be another way in.

(Evil laugh)

This is it! I'm going to do it!

I'm going to beat Sonic the Hedgehog!

Oh, glorious day!

One second to spare.

No! But how?

I followed these two down the secret tunnel.

‐ Well, regular tunnel now. ‐ You took the secret tunnel?

There was a battle outside. There was no other way in.

That was the point!

That'll be 15 smackers.

Grr!

Plus tip, of course.

(Grumbles)

Ugh!

In appreciation of the phenomenal job you've done,

I'd like to present you with a ten‐chili‐dog bonus!

(Burps) Oh, this agreement is not agreeing with me. I quit!

Oh, finally.

All those satisfied customers were weirding me out.

Hey, burger lovers! Comedy Chimp here.

I can't wait to tell you all about

Meh Burger's newest delivery policy.

Eh... You get it when you get it.