Original subtitles

Grr!

Behold my Eggs‐Boson Super‐Configurator!

I've accomplished what no other scientist has ever done.

Prove climate change is real?

Build a machine that creates a miniature black hole

and makes broccoli taste like apple sauce!

‐ What will you do with it? ‐ Start eating my broccoli

and simultaneously prove, once and for all,

that I'm the greatest scientist who ever lived!

Nicely done, sir.

Ow!

Depth perception is for losers.

And now to present my brilliant invention

to the scientific community and be honoured by my peers!

(General chatter)

‐ Waited until the last minute? ‐ There's no way I can lose.

Sure, it's a nice rock, but I think I have the edge here.

Hi, I'm Beth the Shrew. I made this all by myself.

The solar system is so much less cluttered since they tossed

that dwarf planet.

Except there are no other planets.

They're just holograms projected by aliens.

If there are no planets,

then where do the aliens come from, mister?

You see, particle theory is different from string theory.

‐ So, my device... ‐ Whoa! A potato clock!

What makes it a potato clock?

You wind it up when you go to bed

and it wakes you up potatoclock!

(General chatter)

Welcome to the Village Science Fair Awards.

Did you see Lady Walrus on the red carpet?

She's had that dress so long it's been in style three times!

Ha!

Nothing, huh? Fine.

The award for best science‐fair project goes to...

Beth the Shrew and her solar‐system diorama!

(Cheering)

And, of course, everyone gets a participation trophy.

Because if at first you don't succeed,

you've actually succeeded.

‐ Hey! Where's my trophy? ‐ You were disqualified.

You exceeded the height limit for a children's competition.

You also win a week of observing our Village's top scientist...

Expert science judge Tails!

(Sighs)

I know what'll cheer you up.

Let's see what Meh Meal toy you got.

Councilman McMeh? What nitwit thought kids

would find a bean‐counting character interesting?

My son picked that rock out all by himself!

Look how she's gushing over him. It's just a silly rock!

I wish I had someone to give me unconditional love like that.

Not you! But maybe a robot is the answer.

Uploading recipe file, including happy‐face pancakes.

Basic first‐aid instructions,

lullabies, all bedtime stories where evil triumphs...

Add to database, "Don't play ball in the house!"

"No more screen time!"

and, "If you keep making that face, it'll get stuck that way!"

My new robot will praise even my lamest accomplishments.

‐ Hello! ‐ Hello!

‐ My boy! ‐ Mombot!

Say, mister, you know all about science, I betcha.

Well, I have been working on some pretty awesome inventions.

Introducing the hovercycle.

(Panting)

Aaah!

Science is so interesting.

What would you like to do next, sweetie?

Pick out your clothes for tomorrow or go get ice cream?

Oh! Ice cream, ice cream! Then can we go to the movies,

or the mall, or have high tea at the Fuzzy Puppy store?

Maybe we should just have a mom‐tage!

(Cries)

(Giggles)

My boy!

Ooh! Here comes the Eggmobile!

I love you, Mombot.

Mombot made this for me, with wool and with love.

One of which I may be allergic to.

Now, I'm off to defeat Sonic and make Mombot proud.

Don't forget your lunch, Pumpkin.

And don't trade your raisins for candy.

Yes, Mombot. I'll be home after I obliterate Sonic.

Through the microscope, common objects are super cool

or totally disgusting.

I have to go battle Eggman.

You better stay here, where it's completely safe.

On second thought, come with me.

Will you keep an eye on Beth? You're good with children.

Well, well, well. If it isn't the queen of the science fair.

That didn't turn out very well.

But Mombot's programmed to love me unconditionally.

So long, losers!

Let's go. I can show you this water‐displacement experiment.

You must be the strongest guy on the island, I betcha.

How'd you get so strong, mister?

Upper‐body workouts. Exclusively.

(Sighs admiringly)

Mombot, I just suffered a humiliating defeat

at the hands of that pesky blue rodent.

Aw, my poor baby. Maybe villainy isn't for you.

You're good with tinkering.

Maybe you can take a course in air‐conditioner repair?

But... but I'm a supervillain!

That's very similar to an air‐conditioner repairman.

You should be proud of me!

I'd be proud if you were a doctor.

‐ I am a doctor! ‐ I meant a real doctor.

Grr!

You'll see. Once I defeat Sonic...

Again with defeating Sonic? He seems like a nice boy.

Why can't you two be friends?

Because he's my arch‐nemesis. A‐duh!

Sonic? This is Eggman's Mombot.

Mombot, you're embarrassing me!

My baby doesn't have any friends.

Can you take him to the movies? I'll pay.

If you keep making that face, it'll get stuck that way.

Someone named Mombot asked me take Eggman to the movies.

‐ Sounds like a trap. ‐ I know.

But how could I say no to her? She knit me this great scarf.

I'm hoping the fans like it more than this one. Ugh!

Beth was supposed to meet me here.

But she's more into watching Knuckles smash things

‐ than learning about science. ‐ She's a smart kid.

She won't want to watch that forever.

I want to watch you smash things forever.

Hey, Beth.

I can use this bar to show you how metal conducts electricity.

Or this!

Huh?

‐ (Giggles) ‐ (Groans)

Shh!

(Giggling)

So, did your mommy make any more play dates for you today?

My saintly Mombot wants me to make peace with you,

but I'd rather make pieces of you!

What?

(Nervous laugh)

‐ What happened to you? ‐ Sonic beat me up.

Well, I'm just going to have to make peace

between you and Sonic myself!

Knuckles and I are gonna play a fun game

while I teach you about science.

Now, the coconut's velocity...

Holy cow, Knuckles! You really walloped that thing.

‐ Say, mister... ? ‐ Just a second, Beth.

See if you can hit it over the trees this time!

(Laughs)

(Sighs)

All right, breakfast for dinner! Thank you, Mombot.

What a polite young man.

So, Amy, I don't mean to pry, but you and Sonic are friends?

Or... ?

Mombot's right, you're no spring chicken.

(Nervous laugh)

Who let you go out dressed like that?

You must get chilly.

I'm going to defeat Sonic in front of Mombot,

so she'll see what a great villain I am.

Pah! Air‐conditioning repair.

Well, you know it is good to have something to fall back on.

I can see your attack robots.

You installed eyes in the back of my head.

Now, I spent all day planning this dinner and you ruined it!

You're my son. You shouldn't upset me like this.

I created you! I'm your father! I'm your son!

Your father! Your son! Your father and your son!

Mosquito. Now, go to your room!

(Laughter)

I hope one day your children

break your heart like you did mine!

I hit the sky fluff! I'm science!

They pump in subliminal messages from the government.

Really, mister?

They've many ways of controlling you. Fluoride in the tap water,

chemtrails, diet soda...

‐ Yeah! ‐ Yeah!

Yeah!

If you can ground me, I can erase you.

Pudding, did you get the email chain letter I forwarded to you?

Mombot, I've been thinking about it and, uh...

I'm sending you on a cruise around the world.

Ow!

What son would do that for his mother? I am so proud!

Mmm. (Sniffs)

What? Does it always have to end on a joke?