Original subtitles

Grr!

Look what I found at the flea market!

Dude! Is that Tomatopotamus 2?

That's the best one in the entire series!

Tomatopotamus never worked in 3D.

Game companies always ruin their beloved franchises.

They never should have changed the colour of his legs.

We used to play that all the time!

Why did we ever stop?

The game was built with a microchip made from sparcium,

a rare alloy that proved more valuable

than the cartridge itself.

All existing copies were recalled

and melted down years ago.

Well, they didn't get every copy.

Eat ketchup, Sonic!

Need I remind you that I'm the undefeated

Tomatopotamus champ?

Maybe you should put your tomato where your mouth is.

Tell ya what, if any of you noobs can take me down,

chili dogs are on me!

My latest creation will surely destroy Sonic!

I've never heard you make that claim before.

This time it's different. I'm going to program Fiendbot

with everything that's known about Sonic.

He'll be able to anticipate that spiky blue hamster's every move!

Whaddaya got? Let's hear some pitches.

Sonic's fast! And he's blue!

‐ He's brash and cocky. ‐ He's got rugged good looks!

I mean, he's got red shoes.

Come on, come on, come on!

Oh!

Bet you thought I'd be the first one out.

But the stereotype that girls are bad at video games

is not only offensive, but clearly un ‐

Never mind.

‐ You sweating yet, Knucks? ‐ I never sweat!

I have a glandular problem.

We've reached hour 14

of the great Tomatopotamus challenge.

Looks like we're about to cross over to level 27.

No one's ever made it this far before!

Ooh! It's an underwater level!

No!

Stupid water!

(Laughs) Ooh, yeah! (Sings)

Woo‐hoo! I did it!

Read it and weep. "Sonic, number two."

Oh, and what's this? A name above Sonic?

It's Knuckles at number one!

Forever etched on the Tomatopotamus scoreboard!

Yeah, yeah, you're the king‐potamus.

So, what do you want on your chili dog?

Do they have Sonic tears? 'Cause those taste the sweetest.

Now to input the video data. Or is it data?

Dayta... dahta.

Oh, great! Now neither of them sounds right.

Or is it neither? Ah, well...

Aaah!

Oh, good! You're awake, lazybones.

Ready for a test drive?

One dozen chili dogs made from the finest ingredients.

And by finest, I mean not yet expired.

Forget that last part.

Oh, Sonic! I've got some swift, impending doom for you!

Allow me to introduce FiendBot! He already knows you.

Oh, really? Well, tell FiendBot

I look forward to seeing him in a landfill real soon.

Before each battle, Sonic engages in witty banter

for an average of 3.5 seconds,

allowing time for targeted attack.

You really do know me. But have you met my... spin attack?

72% of Sonic's spin attacks veer right 8 degrees.

You saved my life. Thank you, Sonic. Thank you.

My baby! Oh, my God!

What are you waiting for? Finish him off!

New data analysis complete. Sonic not enemy.

Sonic... friend?

Good one, FiendBot.

Looks like I programmed you with my trademark sardonic wit.

A joy at parties, but not ideal for battle.

(Shrieks)

Fiendbot, this isn't funny.

I can't believe you're tuning against me,

especially after I programmed you with my sardonic wit!

(Screams)

So, uh, thanks for saving me from, well, you, I guess.

(Clears throat) See you around!

Look, you can't follow me. My friends don't like it

when I bring home giant, destructive robots.

All right, I got your chili dogs.

You can quit gloating now.

Mmm. Tastes like victory. And... old socks?

‐ (Crash) ‐ What was that?

Not a killer robot that followed me here, that's for sure.

An Eggman robot! Let's turn it into scrap metal,

‐ then recycle it responsibly! ‐ There's no need.

FiendBot won't attack us.

Sonic, not to doubt your judgement,

but he was clearly created by Eggman.

He's covered in missile launchers.

His name's "FiendBot" for crying out loud.

I see what you're getting at.

FiendBot does have a harsh ring to it.

What if we change it to something different?

I know... FriendBot!

Dude, Tails couldn't have been any clearer

and you still missed the point!

Whoa! Is this how you guys feel every time I open my mouth?

‐ Yeah. ‐ What's that with your heads?

FriendBot could've destroyed me, but he didn't.

Big deal! I could destroy you all the time.

Destroy? Potential threat to Sonic detected.

Hey, whoa, whoa! No need to blast Knuckles out of existence.

We're all friends here.

Seriously, though, give him a chance.

My error was making FiendBot sentient!

Well, I'm not gonna make that mistake again.

That's why I created this!

Hey, good lookin', welcome to the team.

This energy blaster is programmed

with all the same Sonic intel as FiendBot,

but with none of the robot brainpower!

I understand. We'll talk later, hot stuff. (Sexy growl)

My high score!

Does he have to come with us to Meh Burger?

He doesn't even eat food.

Come on, Knuckles. That's not fair.

You know Meh Burger's not food.

‐ Did ya miss me? ‐ How can we miss you?

You never go away.

Whoa!

Hey! I'm fighting a big robot too, you know!

Quit it, FiendBot. I'm the strong guy on this team.

Time to bring out the big guns. Well, gun.

Friend...

‐ He saved Sonic! ‐ Sonic was right.

FriendBot did deserve that name change after all!

Aaah!

Give it to me straight, Tails. How bad is it?

FriendBot's AI processor was destroyed in the blast.

I'd replace it, but Eggman made it out of sparcium.

I know where we can get some, but you're not gonna like it.

You mean my high score will be erased?

Oh, dilemma, thy name is Tomatopotamus.

OK, here goes nothing.

System reboot complete. Friends... acknowledged.

‐ Yeah! ‐ All right!

And I made one extra adjustment!

‐ Yeah! ‐ Awesome!

(Laughs)

‐ What's wrong, Sonic? ‐ I was just thinking,

Friendbot's too big to fit in any of our houses.

Where we supposed to keep him?

Things'll be better this way.

You'll live where there's plenty of space

and we'll come visit you all the time.

And if we need you, we'll call you on your new communicator.

Sonic's voice 93% more reassuring than usual.

Trust mode activated.

Aaah!

These are former Eggman robots just like you.

You should have lots in common.

They're not the brightest.

They could use you to take care of them.

Responsibility acknowledged.

Farewell sequence initiated.

(Affectionate sighs)

FriendBot, promise me you'll never forget...

that I'm the Tomatopotamus champion, not Sonic.

‐ Memory stored. ‐ (Sniffs) In your face.