Original subtitles

Grr!

Hey, no backsies!

‐ Strike! ‐ Sonic! How about a lift?

Next time look where you're going!

Ugh! Oh...

Knuckles! We'd better wrap this one up.

Well, my evening just opened up.

Maybe I'll check out that new falafel place.

I've a coupon for unlimited hummus! So long, losers!

(Groans)

Whoa! Where am I?

‐ You're in Sonic's shack. ‐ Oh, cool. Who's Sonic?

That blow to the head must have given Knuckles amnesia.

(Scoffs) You mean like in hacky sitcoms?

No!

But we should take him somewhere familiar to refresh his memory.

Like in hacky sitcoms.

Your name is Knuckles.

You're an echidna from Angel Island,

and you're the last of your kind.

You love lifting heavy stuff. You're the strongest one here.

‐ Clearly. ‐ (Groans)

Try lifting weights. Maybe that'll jog your memory.

Uh, still not remembering anything.

‐ Aaah! ‐ Gah!

Sticks, what the heck?

Everyone knows the best way to cure someone of amnesia

‐ is to scare 'em. ‐ That's hiccups.

‐ Well, no harm, no foul. ‐ Whoa! What happened?

You're awake! How many fingers am I holding up?

Oh, Sonic. You know I can't count past three.

Just to be safe, why don't you tell us who you are

and what you remember about yourself.

I'm Knuckles the Echidna. I'm from Angel Island.

I'm the beloved leader of this group and...

the last of my kind.

(Sad music)

Why so glum? You always knew you were the last of your kind.

Yeah, but this head trauma

really got me thinking clearly for the first time.

Until I find a family, I'm all alone in this world.

Greetings, good sir or madam. My name is Knuckles,

and I am the last of my ‐

For only pennies a day,

you too can sponsor an echidna just like ‐

I just want to be loved. Is that so wrong?

Maybe you should try another house.

Hey, can I live with you? No? OK, I understand.

Wait! I'll take you in!

I could use a strapping young man like you

‐ to help around the house. ‐ Unpaid manual labour

is just as good as unconditional love! I'm in!

That's my late husband. Oh, how he loved taking old‐timey photos

in that kiosk at the mall.

Stop! The furniture's only for company.

‐ But I thought I was company. ‐ Well, aren't you sassy

for a houseboy!

Make haste, young man!

We don't want to miss the early bird special!

It's so much better eating supper at 4PM.

‐ None of the usual riff‐raff. ‐ Oh, hey, Knuckles.

‐ Gah! Riff‐raff! ‐ Guys, let me introduce you

to my new grandmother, Mrs Vandersnout.

‐ (Hisses) ‐ She seems... nice.

She sure is!

I got to spend all day doing fun stuff like playing mah jong,

writing angry letters to the newspaper,

removing skeletons from her bird feeder.

Oh, look at the time.

We need to head back if we want to be in bed by 5:30.

Grandma, you're embarrassing me in front of my friends.

My house, my rules.

You don't like it? Then I'll find a new houseboy!

Hey! Can we swing by my mom's place and get my retainer?

I'll never forget all the good times we had together.

(Swell of sappy music)

That would've been a lot more impressive

if we'd actually had any good times.

Oh, well, I can't let that stop me.

I have to find my family!

Welcome, Knuckles, the newest member of our tribal family.

Sure, he's one more mouth to feed during this famine,

but that's OK.

A boulder is blocking access to the well.

I could move it, though the weight'll blow out my knees

and I'll lose my athletic scholarship.

As the newest member of the family,

‐ I'll move the boulder. ‐ (Gasp)

Your friendly, helpful demeanour is an insult to our humble,

shame‐mongering culture.

It's clear now you'll never be one of us.

Aw...

Oh, sure, go on! Leave us without any well water.

We'll just die of thirst.

Fine. I'll move the boulder.

(Gurgles)

Say, you look like well‐adjusted folk.

But hopefully I'm wrong

and you're the kind of people who'd take in a weird stranger

‐ as a member of your family. ‐ I always wanted a daughter.

‐ I'm not a girl. ‐ I said I wanted a daughter!

Careful not to stain your brand‐new dress, pumpkin.

‐ Heartbreaking, isn't it? ‐ Yeah.

Floral print draws attention to all the wrong areas.

I say we hit him on the head again.

Oh, sweet! A councilman MacMeh toy!

The one with pencil‐pushing action? Oh, gimme!

‐ Let go! ‐ It's mine!

‐ No, it's not! ‐ This isn't working!

I was expecting a daughter who was more ladylike.

I can be ladylike! Watch!

(Gushingly) I love your shoes!

I don't really love her shoes. Huh? Huh?

Well, well, well. If it isn't my arch‐nemesis, Knuckles.

‐ I'm sorry. Have we met? ‐ Of course we met!

You got me fired from two jobs, almost ended my marriage!

‐ You ruined my life! ‐ Oh, yeah. How ya doing?

Grr!

Hmm. I'm not doing so hot either.

I just want a family, but I can't find one.

‐ Maybe we can be your family. ‐ Honey, what are you doing?

Why invite him into our home? He's a demon incarnate!

(Giggling)

Well, I'll admit his shoes are awful, but don't you get it?

The ultimate revenge would be to prey on his vulnerabilities.

First, we welcome him into our family,

then we turn him to the side of evil.

(Evil laugh)

(Laughs)

One thing I learned from my time as teenage walrus girl

is that you gotta go along to get along.

(Ragtime music)

(Whistling)

‐ Hey, Knuckles! What's up? ‐ Oh, just picking up dinner

for my family.

Went to that new falafel place.

It got stellar reviews on Eggman's food blog.

But enough chitchat. Charlie and Belinda are waiting.

Charlie and Belinda? They're villains!

‐ They tried to destroy you! ‐ How dare you use facts

to besmirch my family?

A family who's loved and taken care of me

for the past 22.5 hours!

You're a heartless monster!

(Sobs)

(Sobs)

Knuckles, dear, what's wrong?

Sonic. He. Said. You. Guys. Were. V‐v‐villains!

I think it's time for the talk.

(Bone crunches)

You see, we are villains.

But that doesn't make us bad people.

Well, technically it does.

But we took you in when no one else would.

And if you want to continue being part of this family,

then you'll have to be a villain too.

Ugh! If I never eat baba ghanoush again,

it'll be too soon.

(Evil laugh)

Sorry, guys, nothing personal, but family comes first.

Now, Knuckles, be a good boy and...

thrash 'em! Go for the jugular!

Hey, quit it!

Outta the way, Knux! I'm not gonna fight you.

They won't fight Knuckles. Use him as a human shield!

(Evil laugh)

It's a good thing that after a day and a half

I'm secure in your love for me,

or I might take this the wrong way.

Ow! I'm not sure this is how families treat each other.

You imbecile! We're not family!

Are you so dense you don't know

when someone is taking advantage of you?

This really gives me something to think about,

but I don't like thinking.

I like action!

Kids. You try and teach 'em right from wrong

and they just disappoint you... by picking right.

Glad to have you back, Knuckles.

Sorry, guys. I now realise I had a family all along,

Charlie and Belinda.

No, wait. I know this.

It's on the tip of my tongue.

What's it say?

We're your family, Knuckles.

Aw!

I wish I had a family like that.

Maybe someday someone will knock on my door.

Oh, I'd take them in and treat them as my own.

Oh, well. That never happens.

(Whipping sound)