Original subtitles

And now, I Love Woodley.

How's it here, honey?

Uh, over to the left a little.

No, no, the other way. Now, I want it in the middle so the mantle won't look

lopsided.

Santa Claus doesn't care if the mantle looks lopsided. Oh, well.

There you are, partner.

Thank you, Daddy. You're welcome.

Now, when you get up in the morning, honey, Santa Claus is going to have that

chock full of goodies.

Yes, sir.

Now off to bed, son.

In a minute, Daddy.

What are you doing, dear?

I'm waiting for Santa Claus.

You've got to go to bed now.

I'll go to bed after Santa Claus gets here.

But, honey, Santa Claus is not going to come and bring the tree and the presents

and everything until you go to sleep.

He won't?

No. Why, Mommy?

Why is that, Daddy?

Why?

Why?

Well, you see, partners,

Santa Claus comes all the way down from the North Pole.

And he has all these reindeers with him.

And when he gets here, he circles around in the sky until he gets a signal.

Now, you know who gives him the signal?

Who? Yeah, who?

Who?

I bet I know it's the Sandman.

The Sandman, that's right.

Yeah, the Sandman gives him the signal, that's right. When all the little

children are in bed, the Sandman rolls up to the roof and he says, Santa Claus,

all clear.

So you got to go to bed.

Why, honey, that's fascinating.

You see, young man, you got to go to bed right now.

You take care of the how.

Uh, how, huh?

Well, um, now, you see, Santa Claus doesn't need any steps, honey.

He, he, he, when he comes, he brings the North Pole with him, and he slides down

like a fireman.

Good, good, good.

All right, son, off to bed.

Yeah, come on, honey.

Good night.

Oh, yeah, I'll show you.

I'll show you. I think right about in here. There.

All right. Oh, it's a beauty, Fred.

How much do I owe you?

It's for a month.

Well, that's very generous of you. Oh, it was nothing.

Nothing? The tree cost five bucks.

Well, it's Christmas Eve, all right. The children are tucked in their beds

waiting for Santa Claus. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

And we have our very own Scrooge.

That is a beautiful tree.

It's a present from me and Ebenezer.

Well, thank you very much.

Will you lay off, Ethel? Anyway, I thought Santa Claus was supposed to foot

bill for the tree.

Well, he does ordinarily, but this year we're doing it for him. You just try and

think of yourself as one of Santa's little helpers.

Well, all right. Okay.

Come on, let's get the tree trimmed. Okay.

Honey? What? Is it right where you want it? Back by the window a little bit. Oh,

okay.

Come on, you help me, Ethel. Be very careful of these now. These are all the

only bulbs that I have. All right.

You take that box there. Oh, I love doing this. Isn't it wonderful?

Honey, see how it looks from the front, eh?

What do you think?

Well, it looks pretty good, except there's a branch on the right side that

spoils the shape.

Which one, honey? This one right up here.

Fred, will you go down to the basement and get your saw and cut that off for

It's a little unbalanced.

Oh, now, honey, maybe we can...

Hang something there. He don't have to go all the way down to the basement and

get his soul. Now, look, honey, the tree has to be balanced. You know that. We

can't have one branch out like... I've been putting up trees with that kid for

the last 15 years.

He came prepared. That's right, Fred.

Gee, the four of us have spent a lot of Christmases together, haven't we? We

sure have.

Yes, sir, and it's been great.

It's even been better since Little Ricky came along.

That's right, honey.

Oh, Fred, now that you cut that branch off, it makes the other side look too

full. You better trim that branch on the other side. Make it all even.

You know, honey, I've been thinking.

Our life has sure been different since you told me you were going to have the

baby. I almost never got to tell you. What do you mean?

Don't you remember?

Oh, Fred, that skinny branch on the top just looks awful. It's going to have to

come off.

Don't you remember, Ricky? I tried to tell you all day, and I never got a

because you were so busy.

Oh, now the other side looks uneven.

Honey,

finally, in desperation, I had to go down to the club while you were working

give a note to the major dean.

Surely it happened five years ago, and I'm crying all over again.

It's okay, honey, so am I.

I'm crying, too.

Me, too, but for a different reason.

I got so carried away with the story, I forgot what I was doing.

Oh, Fred, for heaven's sake.

Well, you've got to admit that it's even on both sides.

How do you think we're going to trim that?

Well, why can't we trim it with those branches I just cut off?

Fred Mertz, you march right down to the corner and get another tree.

Okay, but who's going to pay for it?

I will, I will.

No, you won't. He will.

And one word out of you and I'll tell... that you were a bad little boy and you

won't get any presents. You can't squeal on me. I'm one of his helpers. Oh, get

out of here.

You might as well get the lights ready, dear. Okay.

Gee, I just love this old ornament. It's been on our tree ever since I can

remember.

voice lately.

I don't seem to sing well anymore.

Lately?

Anymore?

Now, that's not very nice. I grant you, my voice isn't quite what it used to be.

It's exactly what it used to be.

That's what's wrong with it.

Why do you say that? I used to sing quite well, as I recall.

Well, dear girl, then something is wrong with your memory.

What do you mean?

Well, a few months...

After you told me that the baby was going to be born, you wanted to sing at

club in a barbershop quartet. Oh, I remember that. Fred and I did that with

Right. Boy, that was a terrible evening. It was not. It turned out very well.

It was one of the most embarrassing nights of my career.

Well, I'll never forget it.

The three of us started the number thinking George Watson was under the

the barber chair.

Little did we know that the tuneless wonder was there.

Hey! Hey, he's back!

Isn't this a dandy? Oh, boy!

Look at that hat. That's a beauty, Fred.

Fred, that's better than the first one. And the best thing of it is, because

it's getting so late, the guy let me have it for a half a month.

It has just been proven to Fred, once and for all, there is a Santa Claus.

You bet, and he also gave me some mistletoe.

Now, don't go getting any wild ideas, Ethel.

I'll try to restrain myself.

Oh, Fred, this tree is just perfect.

Absolutely perfect. Yeah.

Except for this one little branch right here. Now, if you could just... No.

Nothing going. Nothing going.

Okay, leave it alone.

All right. Hey, Fred, let me... Help me put the lights on, huh? Sure. Let me

help, too, huh? Okay, here. Oh, boy. Give me a strand.

Okay, Fred. You want to help me? There you are.

Fine. Thanks.

Ricky.

Yeah, honey?

Won't you give me just one little hint about what you're giving me for

Christmas? You know, you're worse than your son.

You'll find out tomorrow morning. I know, but I just want to think about it.

Come on, give me one little clue.

All right, I'll give you one clue.

Good. What is it?

It's a gift.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

Merry Christmas, you great, big, wonderful, adorable, lovable husband,

Do you love me? Mm -hmm.

How much?

A lot. But not enough to tell you what your Christmas present is. Oh.

Now, what makes you think that's what I wanted to know? And what is it? You'll

find out tomorrow morning.

Go in what?

You know what this means, don't you?

Yeah, it means you're an incurable optimist. Oh, Fred.

Honey, I've only fooled him. Merry Christmas. Oh, Merry Christmas, you

big, adorable husband.

All right, Fred, plug in the lights and see if they work.

Hey. Hey.

Fred, congratulations.

This is the only time that the light have worked in the first time in 15

We usually have to spend an hour testing. in all the bulbs to see which

hasn't burned... out.

Okay, let's start testing the bulbs.

You know, I'm kind of glad it's happening. It makes it seem more like

Girls, how do you get the ornaments, huh? Oh, yeah, come on. This is the part

love.

What's little Ricky getting this year?

Well, I don't know what Santa Claus is going to bring him, but we're getting

a new set of drums and a bike.

Probably spoiling him, but he won't be little for long.

Gee, it's amazing how much he's grown.

Seems like only yesterday that he was born.

Will you ever forget that night?

I had a new show at the club, and Lucy insisted that I make it, and I was going

crazy trying to be at two places at once.

Well, it wasn't any picnic for me either, waiting at that hospital while

were doing the show.

What about me? I thought I'd lose my mind sitting at home waiting for the

Of course, I was lucky. All I had to do was have the baby.

You're right. You three were so nervous that night.

For

heaven's

sake, why didn't we get together on this?

The four of us sure got the same idea at once.

We sure did.

can't find four of us here. Come on, go in the kitchen.

Listen, as long as we've gone to this much trouble, one of us ought to go in

there and let little Ricky see us. Yeah, that's right.

Boy, you've got to get up early if you want to be Santa Claus around here.

Just a minute.

Merry Christmas, everybody!