Original subtitles

- Okay. - Aah.

Listen, I'm gonna be moving out, so you are gonna be in charge of paying the rent.

- Right, and when is that due? - First of the month.

And that's every month?

No, just the months you actually want to live here.

Ah.

Okay, here's the phone bill.

Oh, my God!

That's our phone number.

Look, I know I kind of sprung this whole me-moving-out-on-you thing.

- So why don't I just cover you for a while? - No, no. No way.

Joey Tribbiani does not take charity...

...anymore.

- It's not charity, Joe. - No, forget it.

Okay? I mean, thanks, but I'm done taking money from you.

All right? I can take care of myself. Now, what's next? Come on.

Okay, uh, here's the electric bill.

- This is how much we pay for electric? - Well, yeah.

So we'll do the rest of the bills later, then?

So is Joey gonna have to give up the apartment?

I hope not. I tried to offer him money, but he wouldn't take it.

How much do you think he needs?

I figure $1500 would cover him for a few months, you know...

...but I have to trick him into taking it so I don't hurt his pride.

Yeah. Well, why don't you hire him as an actor?

You could have him dress up and put on little skits whenever you want.

Well, that would help the pride thing.

- Hey. - Hey.

Wow, you look great. Do you wanna move in with me tomorrow?

- Okay. - Okay.

What do you girls have planned for tonight?

Instead of being sad that tonight's my last night with Rachel...

...we thought we'd go out and celebrate:

Rachel's moving in with Phoebe.

- And also my birthday. Ha, ha. - It's not your birthday.

What a mean thing to say.

I would never tell you it was not your birthday.

- Hey. - Hey.

Hey, so you guys have anything planned for the big last night?

Well, instead of just hanging out, we figure we'd do nothing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Knicks' season opener tonight.

I thought maybe you guys would come and watch it.

I don't know, Ross.

Not if you talk about how you gave up basketball...

...to become a paleontologist.

I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.

- Pheebs, I was wondering... - You're not dressed yet?

We're supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes!

Well, and clearly, not a minute sooner.

Rachel, you are packed, though, right? I mean, please tell me you're packed.

Of course I'm packed. Monica, relax.

I wanted to ask Phoebe for her opinion on what I should wear.

My God, I cannot get a minute of peace.

Oh, my God.

Monica's just gonna kill you.

I know.

What you're wearing is fine for that.

You're not packed!

You're not packed even a little bit.

Surprise.

Don't get mad, because, look, this is what happened.

So I started packing, and then I realized, "What am I doing?"

I am lousy at packing, right?

But you love packing.

So as a gift to you on our last night...

Ta-da.

I'll be coordinator.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't get you anything.

Oh.

Look, everybody has to help. Phoebe, you can help, can't you?

I have plans.

- You have plans with us. - That's right.

All right. Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things.

- Tell the guys they have to help out. - Okay.

- Okay. - My God, thank you.

Hurry! Monica's gonna make you pack. She's got jobs for everyone.

Now, it's too late for me, but save yourselves.

Okay.

The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed.

Now, everybody has to help. Chandler...

No, I have plans with Joey.

- I thought you said you were doing nothing. - Yes, but for the last time.

Okay, fine. Now, Ross...

- Oh, but I can't do it. - Why not?

- Don't you have Ben? - Because I have Ben.

It's almost 8:00, it's almost past his bedtime. Where is he?

He's at a dinner party.

Is he really coming? Because I can see into your apartment.

Of course he is. Uh, what?

You think I'd just use my son as an excuse?

What kind of father do you think I am?

All right. Sorry.

I gotta go make a fake Ben.

Here it is. Our last pizzas together as roommates.

I wish I'd known you were gonna do that. I ordered Chinese.

Oh. Oh, that's okay.

Hey, actually, in a way it's kind of nice. You know?

Our last dinner together. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors...

...you, the food of yours.

Huh?

Say, Joe, I had a strange idea for what to do on our last night.

What do you say we play a little, uh, foosball for money?

Are you crazy? You haven't beaten me once since my injury-plagued '97 season.

It'd be easier if you'd just give me your money.

Yes, it would.

Ahem. What do you say to $50?

- Okay, you're on. - Okay, let's play.

The big game. Italy versus...

...China, apparently.

Oh, look, it's the Rollerblades.

Oh, God.

You remember when we got these?

No.

Oh, I guess you weren't there.

You guys, we said we were gonna have fun.

Come on. Hey, ha, ha, remember the time?

You don't remember?

Sorry, Pheebs. I guess I'm just really sad that I'm leaving.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

Well, this doesn't have to be so sad though, you know?

Instead of thinking about how much you're gonna miss about each other...

...you should, like, think about some of the things you're not gonna miss.

I don't think there's anything.

Come on, there's gotta be something.

Nope. She's perfect.

I have one.

Good. Great. Okay, you can go first.

Uh, well, I guess I'm not gonna miss the fact...

...that you're never allowed to move the phone pen. Ha, ha.

That's a good one. Okay, Monica, anything?

You know, does Rachel move the phone pen?

- Aw, sometimes. - Ha, ha.

Always, actually.

Good. There you go. Doesn't everyone feel better?

It's not just the phone pen.

It's just that I never get my messages.

You get your messages.

Well, I don't think it counts if you have to read them off your hand...

...after you've fallen asleep on the couch.

So you missed a message from who? Chandler?

Or your mom?

Or Chandler?

Or your mom?

Great, it worked. No one's sad. Heh.

- Yes. - Ah.

I win again. Ha, ha, that's, like, 500 bucks you owe me. Woo-hoo!

Man. Five hundred dollars.

That is a lot of electricity, huh? Woo-hoo!

Ooh, I gotta buy some food.

Okay, okay. Give me a chance to win my money back. Sudden death...

...one goal, $1000.

- You serious? - Oh, yes.

Okay.

- Get ready to owe me. - Okay.

Okay, here we go. Ready?

- No, no, no! - No, no, no!

No one can beat me.

See, now that's why only the little fake men are supposed to do the kicking.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Ross. See, other people call me.

Ooh, your brother. Score.

- What's up? - I'm here with Ben.

Thought we'd say hi.

- Put him on. - Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica.

Oh, I guess he doesn't feel like talking right now.

Uh, he's smiling, though.

Okay, talk to you later.

I think it was better when you guys were sad.

Hey, oh, remember the Rollerblades? Oh.

You know what else I'm not gonna miss? "I'm Monica.

I wash the toilets 17 times a day, even if people are on it."

"Hi, I'm Rachel. Is my sweater too tight? No?

Oh, I'd better wash it and shrink it."

"I'm Monica. I don't get phone messages from interesting people. Ever."

Hey, I call her.

"Oh, my God. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross."

"Oh, my God. I can't find a boyfriend.

So I guess I'll just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there."

Yeah, we should get a move on if we want to make those dinner reservations.

Still broken?

It sucks, man.

Your last night here, and I lose the two most important things:

The foosball table...

...and $500.

Well, you know, there are other ways you can win back your money.

- How about blackjack? - Ah, not my game.

Okay, uh, you know what? We can play a new game.

- A new game. It's fun. - What's it called?

Cups.

- I don't know how to play Cups. - I'll teach you. It's really easy and fun.

- All right. - Okay, here you go.

I have two queens. What do you have?

- A two and a five. - Whoa, you win. Fifty dollars.

- Really? - Oh, yeah. Okay, let's play again. Ready?

Ooh!

- What have you got? - A four and a nine.

You're kidding, right?

- No. Why? - Well, that's a full cup.

Damn, I am good at Cups.

I'm not talking to her.

One of you has to take the first step...

...and it should be you because she's the one who's leaving.

It's harder for her.

Maybe you're right.

But she made fun of my phone pen.

I know. I took it hard too.

Listen, Rachel, I feel bad about what happened...

- What are you doing? - I'm unpacking.

- What? - I'm not moving. Is that picture straight?

It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left.

Hey, you know what?

You're the one who wants this big change and move in with Chandler.

You should go. Why do I have to leave?

- Because It's my apartment! - Well, it's mine too. What else you got?

How about: You're moving!

- No, no, no. - Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, Monica...

This is ridiculous.

We should be packing you.

- Hey, how you guys doing? - Great. Monica's moving.

I am not!

Oh, really? Well, how come all your stuff is in this box?

Okay, you guys, you guys, I think I know what's going on here.

Okay? You guys? Stop!

I know that you're acting mad because you think that will make it easier to leave.

But deep down, you're still really sad. Deep, deep down.

- No, Phoebe, I am mad! - Well, deep, deep, deep down.

Yeah, I'm just mad.

Then keep running.

You win.

- What did you have? - Doesn't matter. Nothing beats...

...a three and a six.

That, my friend, is "D Cup."

Okay, now, how much have you won so far?

- Wow. Seven hundred. - Not 700 exactly?

- Yeah. - Heh. Double it.

- What? - Yeah, see, in Cups, once you get $700...

...you have to double it.

- Really? - Hey, I didn't make up the rules.

Okay, so now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get, uh, one card.

Now, that one card could be worth $100, which brings your total to 1500.

- Ooh. - No, no, no.

Don't get too excited, because that's not gonna happen unless you get the... No way.

Well, this is the last box of your clothes.

I'm just gonna label it "What were you thinking?"

Funny, I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.

Okay, you guys, I don't mean to make things worse, but...

...I don't wanna live with Rachel anymore.

- What? - You're just so mean to each other.

And I don't wanna end up like that with Rachel. I still like you.

Well, Phoebe, that's fine because I'm not moving.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Phoebe, you gotta take her.

You know, I know I said some bad stuff...

...but Rachel does have some qualities that make her a good roommate.

Oh, really? Like what, Monica?

You know how she has 147,000 pair of boots?

Oh, yeah, good start, Mon.

- She lets you borrow them. - Yeah.

And you stretch them out with your big old clown feet.

Do you wanna live outside? Because it's getting cold.

She gets tons of catalogs...

...and, um, she'll fold down the pages of the things she thinks I'd like.

- What else? - Uh...

When I take a shower...

...she leaves me little notes on the mirror.

Yeah, I do. I do do that.

That's nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.

When I fall asleep on the couch after reading...

...she covers me over with a blanket.

Well, you know, I don't want you to be cold.

And when I told her I was gonna be moving in with Chandler...

...she was really supportive.

You were so great.

You made it so easy.

And now you have to leave.

And I have to live with a boy!

It's gonna be fine.

Okay, Rachel. Now I can't wait to live with you.

You know what we should do?

Bring Monica, and then we can all live there together.

We'll have so much fun!

But, honey, I think she's moving in with Chandler.

Oh, that's right.

You're still set on that?

Kind of.

Oh, my God.

Hello? Hey, Mon.

How's the packing going?

Ben? He's fine. Yeah, he's right... Oh, my God.

Get your head out of your shirt there, son.

What?

Yeah, it's a pumpkin. I'll come pack.

Hey.

- What's wrong? - Ross and I were helping the girls pack...

...took a little break. I lost $1500 to him in Cups.

Wha...? How did you lose at Cups?

The same way you lost.

I started out with the king and the queen. Bam. Ross gets a two and a three.

Then I get a jack and a king. Boom. Ross gets a four and five.

Even Ross was getting the Cup card, the D Cup...

...the sitting-down bonus. Meanwhile, I didn't even get a half cup. Nothing.

Oh, man.

He never played before either.

You know what I think? I think beginner's luck, very important in Cups.

Let's just play one more hand. One more hand.

No, no more. I cannot lose another dime. I'm serious this time.

In fact, look. There's... I wanna give you something, okay?

And let me give it to you now before I pawn it for Cups money.

Now, I want you to have the big, white dog...

...as a... Kind of a thank-you for being such a great roommate.

I can't take the big, white dog. You love it.

It's "him." Not "it."

Well, what if I bought it from you, you know?

And then your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price.

Say $1500?

Wait a second. I see what you're trying to do here.

You're trying to give me money again.

When did I try to give you money?

Before, over there with the bills.

You tried to give me charity, I said no, you dropped it.

Okay, then we had a nice last night together.

We had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money.

Now, out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again.

I'm just trying to help you out, okay? I wanna make sure that you're okay.

I will be okay. Look, Chandler.

You gotta get it out of your head that I can't take care of myself, okay?

Look, I'm not gonna miss you helping me out with money.

The only thing I'm gonna miss...

...is you.

And now the dog.

Hey.

- Call me when you get there, okay? - Okay.

I'm really gonna miss you.

Oh, I have your key.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

Oh, God, this is silly. I'm gonna see you in a couple of hours.

Bye, house.

- Bye-bye. - Bye.

Hey.

- She really left. - I know.

- Thank you. - No problem, roomie.

- Can I ask you a question? - Sure.

What the hell is that dog doing here?

I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.

- And now you want that money back? - Exactly.

Chandler, what kind of idiot do you take me for?

It's not a real game. I made it up.

I'm sorry you lost your money. But I won it fair and square.

At a fake game!

Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back...

...I'd be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you.

I am very good at Cups.

Okay, now, I assume the saucer card came up when you played last?

- No. - Hmm.

Let's see if it comes up this time.