Original subtitles

Good morning, Corning.

I hope you're all having a wonderful start to your day.

Let's take a look at the weather.

We have a cold front from Lake Huron heading southeast

over Buffalo, bringing Arctic temperatures.

And more importantly,

a chance for me to finally

break out that parka I got on Black Friday.

Until then, expect highs in the mid to low 40s.

Well, thank you Ted.

So, any exciting plans for the holiday?

I'm glad that you asked, slash, read that

off the teleprompter, Ken.

I'll be heading two hours north to my hometown of Lackawanna,

where my older sister is planning

the Gingerbread Invitational.

What's the Gingerbread Invitational, Ted?

Thanks for asking, Ken.

It is an event that gathers the best

gingerbread bakers in the state to help raise money

to build a children's wing in the local hospital.

So, all week, I will be delivering heartfelt

and shameless promos encouraging everyone in the area

to come out and help support a great cause.

Thank you, Ted.

Now, let's get real for a minute.

You have a legendary run of bad luck

at Christmas over the years.

Oh, I think legendary is overblown,

and we don't need to get into it, Ken.

Well, didn't you almost burn your house down last year?

Indeed I did, Ken. Grease fires are no joke.

No, they are not. And the year before that,

I believe you got attacked by a possum

who was living in your Christmas tree.

Yes, yes, indeed I was.

But in all fairness, I was the one

who chopped down his house, put it on the roof of my car,

and drove it down the highway, so...

Who really got the worse end of that deal?

And... and didn't you, the year before that,

get a disease so rare that they actually

named it after you?

[clicks tongue]

Yes, yes I did.

Symptoms include undeniable charisma and effortless charm.

Hmm.

All kidding aside, if you suspect you have Ted Cooperitis,

seek immediate medical attention.

Well, you know what, Ted? I'm not sure

that I would share your enthusiasm for the holidays.

Oh, boy, you are such a Grinch, Ken.

-[chuckles] -What's not to love?

Christmas is a time of coming together and celebrating.

It just brings out the best in everyone.

tricky, maybe problematic, And potentially horrendous...

Christmases in a row.

But that luck has to change eventually.

So, why not this year?

Well, I wouldn't bet the farm on it, Ted.

And speaking of farms, coming up...

an unlikely friendship between a horse and a cat

that you have to see to believe.

And we're clear.

Love the new hair, Ken.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was your own.

[stutters] It is my own. Hey... Ted!

Ted!

♪

♪

Hey, thanks again for letting me promote the Invitational, Jerry.

Whoa, I should be thanking you.

Not a lot of people watching weather reports on TV

when they get weather on their phone.

Yeah, I like to think they care t hearing their weather

from a trained professional.

Oh, Teddy boy, they care about you.

Yeah?

Is that why you took a shot on me?

You know what? It doesn't matter.

The fact is, you did... when no one else would.

And I appreciate you for it.

Well, my intentions weren't as pure as they might seem.

Oh?

Viewers also like tuning in around Christmas to see

what could go terribly wrong.

Yeah, yeah.

I still maintain that 'Santa does the weather'

would have been a great segment

had that chimney been a little wider.

Mmhmm. Mmhmm.

Hey, did WDTB give you a call yet?

Yeah. Actually they called this morning.

So, did you give 'em an answer?

No.

No?

Oh. It's a lot to think about. I mean they're the state's

biggest network outside the city.

No, I'm happy here. You guys are like family.

Hey, hey. What's going on here?

Flip that back over.

[Ted] What is this?

Everyone's taking bets on what's gonna happen

to you this Christmas.

What?

This is dark, guys.

Come on! Impaled by a reindeer antler?

What? Who took that bet?

Janice?

Ken gave me 500 to one.

I couldn't pass up those sweet, sweet odds.

Also, guys, seriously, why is me kissing

a beautiful woman less likely than getting

impaled by a reindeer?

51 people are rooting for me to choke on a chunk of fruitcake.

Joke's on you clowns. I don't like fruitcake.

Also, not funny to root for me going to jail.

I would do horribly in jail.

You know what, none of this matters anyways.

Because this year? [laughs]

This is the year that old Ted Cooper's Christmas bad luck

finally turns around.

Losing a lot of money, folks.

You smell great.

I know.

♪

What?

Oh...

[car engine sputters]

♪ Are you ready for the holidays ♪

♪ Are you ready ♪

♪ Are you ready ♪

♪ Are you ready to be insane ♪

♪

♪

♪ Are you ready... to be insane ♪

[gasps] Baby brother!

Hey!

Oh...

Hi!

I have been waiting for half an hour.

Can we go?

Absolutely. Where are we going?

Going to sleep.

Going home. Not in that order.

What? Kate, no. That's boring.

I just got into town. Let's go have a drink.

-Ted... -Kate.

[whines]

Kate...

Fine... we can have one drink.

A small one.

Maybe a festive shot.

Shots. I love where your head's at.

-Shot! -So many shots.

Singular.

[mischievous music]

Where is my tag?

There are fresh towels and a brand new toothbrush upstairs,

because I know you always forget... everything.

You know me so well.

Okay, your suitcase is on my table.

Just give me a second. Something's not right.

Yikes.

I must've had the same kind of suitcase

as that girl on the bus.

Should I be worried about you covering the fundraiser

with everything that happens to you every Christmas?

What? No. This... this isn't a setback.

This is an opportunity to try out some new looks.

I mean... oof! [laughs]

Come on. Sugar? What?

-These might actually fit. -Wow.

♪

Good morning.

Hey.

Wow, that is a very pink sweater.

That girl had good taste, right?

Mm-hmm.

What are you doing up?

am making us breakfast.

Since when do you make us breakfast?

You made me breakfast my entire childhood.

The literal least I can do is make you

the occasional omelet.

Aww.

Uh, you're gonna go shopping today, right?

Because your first promo is tonight, and, um...

I'm not sure that, uh, that's the vibe.

I am not going anywhere until you try that omelet.

[exhales] Okay.

-Mmm! -Eh?

Fluffy and delicious.

Yeah.

The secret ingredient is love.

Hey, I couldn't help but notice the alarming lack

of Christmas lights on the house.

Yeah, I've been really busy.

Really?

That's strange... you haven't mentioned that...

in the last three minutes.

You're wearing a pink cropped sweater.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[phone ringing]

Stay... good box.

No!

Stay.

[phone chimes]

There you go.

[voicemail] Hi, Ted. This is Max at WDTB,

checking in on our job offer.

Give us a call, and no rush.

Merry Christmas.

Ooh-ahh!

[groans]

[panting]

[groans]

Unstoppable.

Oh, no.

[thud]

How you holding up?

I'm fine.

You were unconscious.

It's called a cat nap, Kate.

I asked you what two plus two was, and you said 22.

And I've never been great at math.

You have your Master's in Atmospheric Sciences, Ted.

Put the ice back on.

Ted?

Ms. Mittens?

What happened to you?

A box of Christmas lights.

-Ah... -You?

Hot cookie sheet.

Oof!

Uh, are you still teaching science?

Retired last year.

Wow.

Congratulations, Ms. Mittens.

Oh, please, call me Ruth.

It's great to see you, Ruth.

I'm back every Christmas.

How have we never run into each other?

Oh, I usually do the holidays in Florida, but not this year.

Well, Florida's loss is my gain.

I always knew you'd do well for yourself, Ted.

And people send me your clips all the time.

-They do? -Sure.

Especially the one where you got stuck in the chimney

at Christmas.

-Mm-hmm. -Hilarious.

Yeah. Well, I am glad I could entertain you.

It's good to see you, Ted.

You too.

Uh, any chance you'd be interested in grabbing a coffee

with your former favorite student sometime this week?

Oh, why? Is she here?

Still got it.

-[Woman] Ms. Mittens? -Amazing, thank you.

-Take care. -Yeah.

Ted, they're ready.

Oh, great.

-Good luck. -Here's your ice pack, thanks.

[Kate exhales]

Okay, next time, let's just make sure that we...

check the expiration date on the eggnog.

Merry Christmas.

How many cups have you had today?

Mmm. Too many to count.

Go home, Hope.

We're under-staffed.

And you're pulling a 12-hour shift.

I don't need a tired doctor.

Oh, every doctor is tired. Come on.

Look, I can pick up the slack.

I once treated 90 patients here in a day.

And you have never let us forget that.

You know what I'm gonna do when I get home?

Hm?

A little bit of online Christmas shopping.

Glass of red wine.

Ooh, a Chris Hemsworth movie.

Hmm.

Do you know what you're gonna do when you get off work?

Yeah, I'm gonna pray that my best friend

stops giving me lectures.

Mmm, no. You are definitely gonna be trying to pick up

more shifts here.

Okay, well...

Given the year that I've had, I wanna stay busy.

I get that, I get that.

But you are no good to anybody if you burn out.

So, come over for a movie tonight.

Which Chris Hemsworth movie is it?

Does it matter?

-No. -No, it does not.

Oh... wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Guess who's here.

Who?

Ted Cooper.

Coop?

From high school?

I think so.

We had his insurance on file.

Oh, I didn't know he lived around here.

I don't think he does. I think he's back for Christmas.

He's a weatherman over in Corning.

-Hmm. Well, good for him. -Yeah.

He was always so sweet, you know, in like a...

nerdy kinda way.

That might be because he, uh, had a crush on you.

Okay. Please.

You may not have noticed, but he fell hard for you

back in the day.

And apparently something fell hard on his head.

So, have fun.

-Ah... -You're welcome.

Enjoy.

Thank you.

Hey, Coop.

Hope.

Wow. Hi. I...

I didn't know you were back in town.

Yeah, I moved back late last year.

You look different.

You look the same.

Hmm.

Well, what brings you in?

Box of Christmas lights Oh. Anything broken?

Mmm. Probably not. I have a hard head.

I meant the box of lights.

Right.

So, I hear you're back in town

for Christmas with your sister.

You've been asking around about me, Hope?

Sydney told me.

Ah, Sydney. Yeah.

You know, she gave me stitches a few Christmases ago.

She did?

I had an unfortunate incident

involving a porcelain nativity scene.

Ooh.

Let's just say now there are only two wise men in Bethlehem.

Which one broke?

Gold.

Hmm. Poor baby Jesus.

You know, stuck with frankincense and myrrh.

I don't even know what myrrh is.

No one does.

I'm just gonna have a look here.

Any headaches? Dizziness?

No.

No? Look straight ahead.

Hmm.

I never knew you had blue eyes.

Well...

No lacerations.

No concussion.

I think you just had your bell rung.

s appropriate to have my bell rung at Christmas.

[chuckles]

You know what else?

You look good in pink.

Hey. Thanks.

I got it from a college girl's suitcase.

Hmm.

Nope. That sounded bad.

I brought a college girl's clothes home with me.

That sounded worse.

You know what? Let's just...

Let's just chalk it up to the head injury.

I had it on before the head injury.

Oh, well, let's keep that between us.

Little doctor-patient...

confidentiality.

Probably a good idea.

Well, I hope you enjoy your vacation

while you're here, Coop.

Thanks, but it's actually... it's not just a vacation.

I'm here doing promos for the Gingerbread Invitational.

It's the, uh, fundraiser for... well, actually, this--

I know.

I... work here.

Right. Yeah, obviously, you know what that is.

Oh!

Do you give lollipops to all your patients?

Mmm... only the really brave on.

I was really brave, wasn't I?

Mm-hmm.

We'll see you around, Coop.

Bye, Hope.

I assume you heard all of that?

How dare you assume that I was eavesdropping on that

unbelievably cute exchange?

Come on.

Kate.

-Kate. -Hmm?

What'd the doctor say?

Things are looking up, baby.

Ask for Doctor Newbury. She's got lollipops.

And why didn't you tell me Hope Newbury worked here?

Because I didn't wanna spend our phone calls listening to you

gush about your high school crush.

I didn't have a crush on her.

She said you didn't have a concussion?

Said I was fine.

Maybe we need a second opinion.

Mmm.

Ted!

Is that Ms. Mittens?

Call her Ruth.

No, I'm not gonna call her Ruth. She was our teacher.

Hi, Ms. Mittens!

Hi.

Okay, we gotta go. I gotta go to work.

What if she needs my help?

She doesn't need your help, Ted.

Ted! I need your help.

Ah...

Fine.

But please do not show up in this for the promo tonight.

Okay. Don't worry. I'll be there.

I'm gonna look great. Go.

Bye, Ms. Mittens.

Hey, Ruth. How's the hand?

Well, I won't be juggling anytime soon.

Well, that's a real shame. What can I do for you?

I was supposed to get a tree and bring it home.

But now with this...

Say no more. I would be honored.

You are a prince.

Would you like me to drive?

I'm hurt, Ted. I'm not blind.

Duly noted.

So, you're looking for a bigger tree, you say?

Well, I've collected a lot of ornaments in the past 72 years.

How are you collecting ornaments

two decades before you were born?

That is disgustingly shameless flattery,

and I so appreciate it.

So...

Hope Newbury, huh?

Hope Newbury.

Blast from the past.

As I recall, you had quite the crush on her

back in the day.

Why does everyone keep saying that?

We have eyes, ears.

Ah... we barely even knew each other.

And besides, she was way outta my league.

Obviously.

You didn't need to agree with me so quickly.

You should ask her out while you're in town.

Ruth Mittens, are you giving me dating advice?

Oh, hello, big boy.

Hmm. That's a good one.

Yeah.

Do you think you could find someone who works here

who could help us?

Yeah. Uh...

What about him?

Excuse me.

Afternoon, ma'am.

Uh, my mother is ma'am.

You can call me Ruth.

Actually, you can call me any time you like.

-Easy, Mittens. -Mm-hmm.

Uh, my friend here would like this tree.

You mind helping us cut it down?

It'd be my pleasure.

Maybe you could help us carry it too.

Any plans while you're in town?

Well, I'm doing promos for the Gingerbread Invitational.

Which you should come to.

And my sister's having a Christmas costume party,

which you should definitely come to.

Oh, a costume party.

Yeah, everyone's dressing up as their favorite

Christmas characters. -I'm in. [chuckles]

Other than that, not much. Why?

Well, I've got this walking group

with a group of friends of mine.

Do you all wear matching tracksuits?

Well, it wouldn't be a walking group without

matching tracksuits. Do you wanna join?

Absolutely.

[Ruth chuckles]

[Ruth sighs]

[Ted sighs]

Are we lost?

What?

I was following you.

Oh.

Where's that handsome lumberjack?

Hello?

-Oh. -Are you guys lost?

Yeah. Afraid so.

Follow me.

Oof!

[Ted groans] -Ulgh!

You know, there are easier ways

of trying to hang out with me than injuring yourself.

Are there?

Well, now I feel silly.

What'd you do?

Christmas tree poked me in the eye.

[sharp inhale]

Every Christmas, Hope, it's something.

Or multiple somethings.

A whole army of somethings.

Mm-hmm. You must really hate Christmas.

Are you kidding? I love Christmas.

Oh.

Maybe I was wrong about the concussion.

Follow me.

So, how's it been being back home?

Well, I never intended on coming back to Lackawanna,

but I do love this hospital.

And if we can raise enough money for the new

children's wing, I'd love to be head of pediatrics one day.

Wow. They'd be lucky to have you.

Lightly scratched.

But I'd like you to give it a rest, so...

Let's wear an eye patch until tomorrow morning, if that works.

you can pick one up at the pharmacy.

Oof!

I gotta be on the air in less than an hour.

Any chance you guys have one around here?

Uh...

So, be sure to head on down to Lackawanna for

the Gingerbread Invitational and help raise money

for a great cause.

Or shall I say, a great Claus.

We miss you here in Corning, Ted.

You sure are a sight for sore eyes.

[sighs]

Good one, Ken.

Yeah, I just noticed your little fashion accessory there.

Very observant.

Yes, I had my eye poked in a Christmas tree related accident.

Who here had eye poke in Christmas related accident?

-[cheers and applause] -Oh!

Well, shiver me timbers. That's unfortunate, Ted.

Sounds like your Christmas luck hasn't changed.

Lazy pirate humor, Ken.

And it's still plenty of time for this to be

the best Christmas ever.

In fact, it very well could be if everyone joins me

at the Gingerbread Invitational.

Hope to see you all there.

Well, as much as you can anyways.

Right.

So, when making your holiday plans,

please don't turn a blind eye

to the Lackawanna Gingerbread Invitational.

And we're clear.

Right.

Thanks.

So, I kinda feel like the eye patch really helped

elevate the holiday vibes.

I love you, I love you, you're my brother.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

It can only get better.

♪

Mornin'.

Mornin'.

I never pegged you for a Kappa girl.

Real funny.

Have you seen the latest headlines, matey?

[laughs] That's good wordplay.

What?

I didn't have a choice, Kate, the doctor said

I had to wear the eye patch till this morning.

Which doctor?

Doctor Newbury.

Oh.

You saw Hope again, huh?

-That's very interesting. -Can I borrow your car?

'Cause I'd love to go get some clothes so I don't have

to spend the entire holiday dressed for sorority rush.

Yes, you may.

Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

Get a costume for my party!

♪

[gasps] Ted!

Ladies, this is Ted Cooper, a student of mine

and a famous weatherman.

What are you ladies up to?

Is there a modeling convention in town?

This is the walking group that I told you about.

Care to join us?

Oh, I would love to, but I gotta rain check.

I lost my suitcase, so I have to get

some new clothes. -All by yourself?

[scoffs] Not on our watch.

Ladies, put your step counters to pause.

-We are going shopping. -Oh!

Okay.

[disco music plays]

Oh, thanks.

That's nice. Ooh.

-And this. -Snazzy.

Sure.

Casual handsome.

Oh!

Nice. Okay.

I like this. Casual dressed up.

Oh, okay.

Pants.

And one more.

-Why not? -Yes.

Okay.

So I hear that an actor's coming by the station that day

but I don't know who.

A little while later...

I get a little tap on the shoulder.

And this voice says to me, almost whispers in my ear.

Excuse me, are you Ted Cooper?

Who could it be?

And who do I see standing before me?

But the mountain of a man that is Mark Harmon.

-Oh, my God, wow! -He smelled incredible.

[laughs] Yeah!

Oh! Hey.

-Hi. -Hi, Hope. This is uh...

the Lackawanna walking crew.

Crew, this is Hope Newbury, doctor extraordinaire.

Oh, I don't know about that, but...

This is the one I was telling you about.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Are you just, uh, getting off work?

I am, yeah.

Just used my last brain cell, was gonna get a coffee

and then bury my face in a plate of carbs, hopefully.

I did hear there's a burger deal down the road

at the Fox and Hounds pub.

Two for one.

With all-you-can-eat fries.

Oh, well, you had me at all-you-can-eat.

[chuckles]

You gonna eat both those burgers yourself?

Uh, well, I... could...

but I shouldn't.

[laughs] I'm not... I'm not saying you couldn't,

I was just thinking that chivalry dictates that

I should probably help you out with those.

Right.

Let's do it.

Ladies...

it's been a delight.

I will see you soon.

You got that?

Yeah, I think I do.

Can we pop by my car so I can drop all this off?

Yeah, you might need that.

Got all your stuff?

Wow. Judgey McJudgerson.

No judgment, no.

But I was wondering if your fan club always

dressed like retired breakdancers.

[laughs] That's great. I gotta text them that.

Oh, you have their numbers.

They added me to the group chat.

-After you. -Thank you.

[group] Hey, Ted Cooper!

[laughs] What's up everybody?

Do you want to, um, grab us a table

and I'll get us some burgers?

I can do that. Yeah.

Okay, great. What would you like to drink?

Um...

Christmas ale?

Christmas ale.

I like it.

Hey, can I get two Christmas ales, please?

♪ ...playing games and singing Christmas songs ♪

♪ And I've been ♪

♪ Waiting patiently all year ♪

♪ and now that it's here ♪

What I can't believe is that every single person here...

knew your name.

You're like... You're, like, that guy.

The... the Norm from Cheers. That's who you are.

The Norm? Oh, my gosh. Wow.

[laughs]

Well, I grew up here.

Well, so did I.

Yeah, but you moved away.

So did you, and...

I live here now.

You're right.

Kinda sounds like a you issue.

Does it?

ghs] No, I'm kidding.

I come here all the time whenever I'm back in town, so...

Have you ever thought about moving back?

Funnily enough, I just got a job offer in Buffalo.

Hmm. Doing the weather?

Mm-hmm.

Well, that sounds like the... universe aligning for you.

Yeah. I don't know.

Why? What? Why not?

My producer in Corning, this guy Jerry,

he gave me an opportunity right out of grad school

when literally no one else would.

So, I kinda feel like I owe my career to him.

And Corning itself has been great to me, so...

But is Corning home?

No, it is not.

I bet you if you asked every single person in this bar,

they'd tell you to take the job in Buffalo.

As would I.

-You would? -Yeah.

You might find this hard to understand, given you know

every single person on a first-name basis

within a five-mile radius.

Oh, thank you very much.

But I haven't had a lot of time to--

Thank you.

...do much socializing, so...

it'd be nice to see a friendly face.

Wow. Ruth was right.

These burgers do look amazing.

Ooh...

What? What's wrong?

No, nothing. It's not a big deal.

I just asked for no mayo and there's mayo.

Mmm, well, I'm sure they can fix it for you.

Oh, no, no. It's... it's fine.

The, um... the server is the owner's kid

and I don't wanna get her in trouble.

It's all good.

Coop, you've been raving about these burgers.

Everybody here loves you.

I'm sure they'd love to fix it for you.

It'd be no problem.

Hope it's fine. Really.

I am having far too good a time to let a little mayo

bring me down.

Well, let's see it.

Very mayo forward.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Uh, hey, whatever happened to Matt Kroner?

Oh...

we're gonna bring up old high school exes, are we?

[grunts]

Throwing you off your game is about the only chance I have.

I don't think you can do that.

Uh... we broke up in college.

[sarcastically] Oh, no, I was really rooting for you guys.

-[laughs] -Why'd you break up?

Oh...

I don't know. He... would never open up.

I don't know, I keep ending up in these relationships

with guys that...

you know...

don't fight for it.

I mean, I get it. I work long hours,

and that's hard, but I...

still, I...

You don't have to tell me. It's the reason I'm single, too.

Women cannot handle the hustle and grind

of dating a meteorologist.

Mm-hmm.

You know, you haven't changed a bit from high school.

That bad, huh?

Not at all... I just...

I mean, you have the same...

You know.

Carefree disposition as you did in class.

Okay, yeah. Great recovery. I can go with that. Yeah.

What about you? You look the same.

Albeit with fewer emo punk t-shirts.

True.

Uh...

But I feel different.

How so?

Give me the crash course in Hope.

Five things that are different about you now

from when you were in high school.

-Oh, five things. -Mm-hmm.

Feel free to let it, like, throw you off your game, too.

Right. Yeah, okay. Five things that are different about Hope.

Well, for one, I...

I speak three different languages now.

Wow. Okay.

Oh, I make my own ramen.

And I really enjoy

audio books of romance novels.

Okay, what kind of, uh...

spice level are we talking here?

Well, normally I stick to a PG 13, but recently I have--

I... I meant the ramen.

Okay. I am a sucker for an escape room, and...

I played a lot of darts in med school.

-Did you see that? -Yeah.

Really feel like Hope from high school

would've let me win one.

Kinda missing her right now.

[whistles]

Wow.

I guess time flies when you're having fun.

It does.

Hey, I was thinking...

since...

you know, you're covering the fundraiser.

Um, walk you through whate by theyou're raising money for?can

Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great.

Okay. It's a, uh...

It's a...

uh... an appointment.

[laughs] It's an appointment.

[chuckles] Yeah.

Sounds good.

Good night, Ted.

'Night, Hope.

Oh, no.

No!

[groans]

Come on.

What do I do? What do I do?

Yes. Okay.

[struggling grunts] Yup.

There we go.

[laughs]

[struggling grunts]

Where are you?

Oh... [laughs] I found you.

There you are.

Hey, fellas.

[Kate] No, I don't wanna press charges.

He's my brother.

Sorry, ma'am. We couldn't confirm he was family.

A lot of Coopers out there.

Okay.

I wonder how the big house has changed him.

We'll bring him right out.

None other than National Treasure himself,

Mark Harmon.

-[Officer laughs] -Can you believe that?

Dude even smelled handsome.

I don't know how it's possible.

Ooh! Nice PJs.

Thank you.

Brave.

[chuckles]

That's not funny.

Merry Christmas everybody!

-Merry Christmas, Ted. -Merry Christmas, Ted.

It's hard enough being the favorite, but now I have

the pleasure of telling Dad his baby boy got arrested.

Has the family newsletter gone out yet?

You're the worst.

And also the best.

Thanks for bailing me out.

All I'm saying is when it comes to inheritance,

they take things like a criminal record into account.

By that standard, you should probably fire me

from promoting the Invitationa

By that standard, youYou have a good point.me

I mean, I did give the promos to all of my events

to the unluckiest guy in the world.

What if I didn't pick up my phone?

Yeah, but you did.

And outside of some light incarceration,

I had a great day.

I hung out with Ruth and her walking crew.

I got a bunch of clothes.

I had dinner with Hope.

You went out with Hope?

Well, I did-- no, no. I didn't go out with Hope.

Like, I was with Hope, and...

We were out.

Cool your jets, all right. It was a friendly hang.

But I am seeing her tomorrow.

She's gonna tell me all about the new children's wing.

I figured it'd be good for the promos.

Huh.

You know who else could've told you about

the children's wing?

-Hmm. -Your sister.

The fundraising coordinator.

Yeah, but she's just so darn busy.

Good night.

Oh, by the way.

The new studio called while you were in jail.

They wanna talk logistics about the new promo.

What did you tell them?

Uh... who had Ted goes to jail?

[cheers]

♪

-So, Coop. -Mm-hmm.

He's not really your type.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

What's my type?

Nice car, well-groomed beard.

-Oh... -Emotionally unavailable.

[chuckles] Yeah.

Complete opposite of my type.

Which is?

Ooh, tall, muscular.

-Really into Taylor Swift. -Uh-huh.

Worships me.

Mmm.

I have not met him yet, sure, but...

-He's out there. -Yeah.

I believe it.

Hey.

Oh, look at that, it's our hospital's

most valuable customer.

What can I say? I love to support local business.

Mmm.

All right, well, I'm gonna go do my job, so...

See ya, Coop.

Bye, Syd. Good to see you again.

Ready for the tour?

Oh, yeah.

It's gonna be 20 more rooms. All private.

Um, two more operating rooms

and a garden on the roof.

-On the roof? -Yeah.

Wow.

Oh.

Hospitals can be a scary place for kids.

Well, everyone... really.

You try to make it as comfort as possible.

-Hi. -Hi.

Amelia wanted to come and say thank you.

Oh, you're welcome.

ASL?

-My father was deaf. -Oh.

Amelia made gingerbread cookies.

Mmm! Amelia.

Delicious. Thank you.

She's wondering if you'd like to try one.

Absolutely. I would love to.

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm, mmm, mmm!

Hmm?

Is that peanut butter?

Yes.

It's her secret ingredient.

Is it?

[clears throat] Wow, that is...

That is very, very good.

[grunts]

Thanks for everything, Hope. I know I didn't get a chance

earlier to say, but, uh...

I'm really sorry to hear about the passing of your dad.

And if you ever need anything, please let Ron and I know, okay?

I will.

-Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas.

Hope, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know about your dad.

Oh, well, I didn't...

talk about it. I don't talk about it.

It's why I came back to Lackawanna.

Yeah. [exhales]

I knew he wasn't doing so well.

-So he, um... -[clears throat]

died three months ago.

[grunting]

He... you okay?

No. I'm so sorry about all that.

Do you have an EpiPen?

Are you allergic to peanut butter?

-Yes, massively. -Give me the cookie.

[groans]

Doesn't hurt.

Your face is swelling.

Why...

would you eat the cookie?

Okay, first of all, Hope...

Who puts peanut butter in a gingerbread cookie?

No one. That's who.

Also, what agonna do, spit it out? Really?

Did you see her big doe eyes?

Arm in a little cast.

Not a chance.

[scoffs]

Ted.

[sighs]

I was gonna go home and finally decorate, but...

now we're gonna have to keep you

under close observation.

Oh, do you?

No, we actually do. It's, it's...

-Protocol. -Oh, it's protocol. Yup.

Understood. Uh... well...

I could help you.

Hmm.

♪ La la la, la la la ♪

Okay.

Start this guy up top.

-Feeding. -Feeding.

-Feeding. Feeding. -[Hope laughs]

[laughs]

Let's go decorate a tree.

♪ Nothing I wouldn't do ♪

♪ Please make my wish come true ♪

♪ Got 99 presents ♪

♪ But I only want you ♪

♪ Got 99 presents ♪

♪ But I only want you ♪

What do I smell?

Is that frosting and anxiety?

The costume party is tonight and I have 7,000 things

I need to do.

How can I help?

[gasps] I'm so glad you asked.

You can call Hope and invite her to the party.

She wants you to ask her out.

How do you know?

Because she likes you.

You think so?

I am pretty likable.

Call her.

Ouch.

[timer rings]

That was a long conversation.

Hmm?

Yeah, whew, she is, uh... quite the chatterbox.

She said she's, um, gonna see what time she gets off work

and try to come.

What's wrong?

[high pitched] Nothing's wrong.

You're sweating.

I'm warm.

It's 30 degrees out.

I'm an athlete, Kate, I run hot.

I'm an athlete, Kate, so I run hot.

Shady, shady brother.

No voicemail, no voicemail, no voice... [inhales]

Hey. What's up, Hope?

It's Ted.

Cooper.

From high school and...

earlier this week.

And your dreams. Nope.

Hey, what's up, Ted? It's Hope.

Nope. Come on, be a human.

No, no, no, no, no.

'Sup, girl? It's your boy, TC... eww.

No, no.

You got this. You got this! Easy breezy, easy breezy.

Hey, what's up?

Oh, no.

Come on!

[groans]

Hi, Hope. This is Kate Cooper.

♪

♪ I've never had so much fun ♪

♪ on Christmas Day♪

[doorbell rings]

♪ never seen it done this way... ♪

Hope!

Hey! Wow.

Awesome Scrooge costume.

[in British accent] Costume you say?

[laughs]

I worked on that the whole... whole way here.

I love that you arrived in character, uh...

But why are you here right now?

Kate called me.

She said there was a costume party.

I had to come.

Oh!

Did she?

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's... that's great.

No, it's just that the... uh, the party doesn't start

for another hour.

Oh...

Uh... I thought you said 6:00.

Huh? I did?

Oh, I... I thought I said 7:00.

I don't think so.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I, uh, I meant 7:00.

Oops. [chuckles]

[Ted scoffs] Oops.

-Carry on. -Uh-huh.

Yeah. Her...

[in British accent] Come on in, milady.

Uh...

I regret the accent.

No, I... I respected the commitment.

[both laugh]

Will you give me a minute?

I have to talk to Kate real quick.

-[whispering] Go, go, go... -Ow!

-What? -What are you doing?

You didn't invite her to the party.

How do you know that?

Because I saw the screen footage

of you leaving her a thousand messages.

That is an invasion of privacy.

You pick the one place on the entire property

that's right in front of the camera.

And what I saw, Ted...

it was bone-chilling.

It was like watching a car accident in slow motion.

I froze up! I didn't know what to say.

It's because you like her.

Oh, of course I like her!

Have you seen her? Kate.

She's smart and funny and beautiful.

And she's great with kids.

Why are you trying so hard to set us up?

Because I am your sister, and I love you,

and I want you to be happy!

Fine. I love you, too.

Get out there.

[exhales]

-Hey. -Hi.

It's so nice that your sister still lives in your family home.

Yeah, she bought it from my dad when he retired to Arizona.

Oh.

Well, tell him hi.

Not that he'll remember me.

Who could forget you?

Look what I found. Mind if I take a look?

-Go for it. -Our yearbook.

[Hope] It's been a minute.

[Ted] Oh. Uh... what?

What... what is... what is... what is your quote?

-Hmm. -"I'll spread my wings.

"I'll learn how to fly.

"I'll do what it takes to touch the sky."

Kelly Clarkson. Mmm.

I'm really regretting that one now.

Mmm.

Okay, let's see yours.

"Certainty of death. Small chance of success.

"What are we waiting for?"

Gimli.

-Who's Gimli? -What?

Are you kidding? From Lord of the Rings.

Brave warrior dwarf.

Loyal. Stubborn. What?

Mmm. I could see that.

Okay.

Nice burn.

All right.

Hope Newbury. Most popular.

Smartest. Most talented.

Most likely to succeed.

Were you on the yearbook staff? That feels excessive.

[laughs] Yeah. Okay.

Ted Cooper.

Most likely to report the weather

at a mid-sized TV station.

That is bizarrely accurate.

Wow.

Aww, look at these cuties.

Ooh.

Still how we are to this day.

Us against the world.

You two seem close.

Yeah, we are.

Kate kinda pulled double duty as big sister and parent.

Oh.

Our mom left when we were young,

so she really stepped up and helped raise me.

To this day, she still blames me for her premature frown lines.

[laughs] Okay.

You were...

cute in high school.

I was?

I mean, I think...

we might have gotten along.

Given...

you drew a big red heart around my face.

Is that... what... is that what that is?

Yeah, that's what it is.

Whoo. [chuckles]

Why didn't you ask me out?

Did you not see the superlatives page?

I loved AV club and science fair.

It literally never occurred to me

that a girl like you would be into a guy like me.

Hmm.

Well, I...

I would've.

Really wishing we'd had this conversation when we were 18.

Mmm.

Are you still?

Still what?

Into guys who love AV club and science fair?

[doorbell rings]

[Kate] Ted, can you get that?

-Okay. -Yeah!

Let me grab my hat.

♪

Oh... Jacob Marley!

-Hi, everybody. -Hi!

Come on in.

Drinks and snacks in the back.

Dance floor is in the barn.

Howdy. Ooh! Milady.

Sure thing. Hi. Okay.

Did you all drive in the same car?

-And, and... -Wow.

Party bus.

Clown car.

[dance music plays]

♪

[upbeat dance music]

♪ Hear 'em sing ♪

♪ Skating through the town so merrily ♪

♪ Joy to you ♪

♪ As a joy to me ♪

Now, this is a party.

See what I mean, girls?

[Ted] Ruth!

Hey. Wow, you look great.

You look pretty cool yourself.

Thanks. Yeah. Hi, everyone!

Ooh!

What is it like being big sister to New York's most likable man?

Exhausting.

[Kate laughs]

Is he always like this?

Pretty much.

♪

He just always likes to see the good in the world, you know?

Yeah.

[Hope] Well, it's admirable. I think I could...

use a little more of that in my life.

Okay.

Hi.

Check out Tiny Tim tearing up the dance floor.

I know! We were just saying.

Who... who even is he?

-Where is he from? -Do you know him, Kate?

He's from my office.

[crowd cheering]

Losing the stick. Oh, my gosh.

Go, Tim!

I don't think he needs that crutch.

[cheering]

Nicely done!

[Ted] Whoo!

All right, you two.

-It's time for you... -No, no.

to get out on the dance floor and show Tim how it's done.

I can't, I cannot.

Gotta show Tim how it's done.

You show him how it's done.

♪ On Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid... ♪

[laughs]

♪ On Blitzen, on Dasher on Dancer ♪

Mm-hmm.

Watch, I go low with it, too.

Ooh!

-But then I come back up. -Yeah.

Whoo! Turn it to a slow song. Turn it to a slow song.

♪ So sweet love ♪

♪ I would tell her right now ♪

Shall we?

♪ I'm a lucky man ♪

♪ So, let's keep playing the way we are ♪

Is this your first time dancing with the snowman?

It is, yes.

How is it going so far?

[Kate laughs]

It's your first time dancing with a Scrooge?

Weirdly enough, no.

[laughs]

♪... and it's a long road ♪

♪

Thank you. I had a...

really nice time tonight.

Yeah. Me too.

Hey.

I was thinking, um...

If...

Uh, um...

Err... never mind.

I... I bet you... you probably gotta get going.

Well, I don't...

I don't have to go this...

like, this very second.

-Oh. -I mean...

-If there's... -I was just...

-Oh, you go. -What, wait...

-Okay. -No... [laughs]

It, uh... it's... it's nothing.

I can wait.

You sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

[sighs]

Night, Ted.

Night, Hope.

[exhales]

[sighs]

[knocking on door]

Hi.

Hi.

I meant to ask you something at the party,

but I, um...

chickened out.

That was the extent of my ASL, so...

[laughs]

-Is that a yes? -Yes, that was a...

that was a yes.

[Ted] Okay. So far, we have a...

intimate trip to a scrapbooking store,

and Salisbury steak, and bingo night.

Do we have any other date suggestions?

Don't limit yourself to Lackawanna.

Maybe get out of town for the day.

Get out...

Ruth Mittens, you magnificent angel.

You just gave me an idea.

♪

-Hi. -Hi.

Wow.

You clean up nicely.

Oh! I, uh... I just, um...

went with Christmas theme.

You look nice, too.

Thanks. You ready?

Yeah. What are we doing?

I thought we'd have a little, uh, fancy dinner at Chez Henry.

Chez Henry?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I should change.

No, I'm just kidding with you.

You're actually perfectly dressed for what we're gonna do.

-Okay. -You're gonna love it.

Okay.

-Ready? -Yep. Okay.

You're comfortable around horses, right?

You're...

You're joking, right?

Um... [clears throat]

Ooh...

[sighs] Greetings, fellow elves, and welcome to

Escape from Santa's Workshop.

[yawns] My name is Brendan,

and I, like you, am an...

[yawns] elf, who...

[yawns]

Oh...

[exhales] Sorry. I just got back to town.

I was partying with my elf buddies all night.

Didn't realize I was pulling a solo shift today.

You're doing great, Brendan.

Thanks, man.

I've been working hard to get

the toys built for Christmas, but...

Santa left without a toy.

A toy for one of the nicest kids in the world.

No...

Your goal is to make it out of the workshop

and use Christmas magic to get the toy into this child's

living room before morning.

You have an hour.

if you need help, just say, "Brendan, I need help!"

and I can give you a hint from the North Pole.

Finally, Santa has a 'no phones in the workshop' policy,

so we ask that you leave them here.

It's Santa's policy.

Your smartwatch.

-And the smartwatch? -Yeah.

Well, Santa is a stickler.

-Stickler. -[Hope laughs]

Exit out the back door. Take a left.

All right. Thanks, Brendan.

[Brendan] You got it.

-Let's do this. -[Hope laughs]

[groans]

Oh... okay.

Santa's workshop certainly got an upgrade.

Yeah, definitely not warm, cozy holiday vibes,

but I dig it.

[loud buzzer] -[Ted screams]

[Hope laughs]

[Man] Ho, ho, ho!

Welcome merry participants.

You have 59 minutes to earn your freedom.

You good?

Good. Yeah.

Did you scream?

-I think it was the machine. -I think I heard you scream.

-No, I don't... nope. -[Hope laughs]

Don't know.

Wow.

Okay, I got boxes.

Okay.

We got some switches.

[Hope] Oh! Elves.

Lots of elves.

Hey!

We got a black light over here.

Okay.

Well, they have some kind of...

security ID on here.

Okay. Makes sense.

Santa has a lot of top-et tech.

The elves need clearance.

Yeah. Makes total sense.

Okay, there's arrows on the boxes.

Okay. Let's think.

Six elves.

Six boxes.

One toy sack.

Well, maybe the arrows are a misdirect.

Oh. That's good.

Well...

Hey, wait. Do yours have a barcode on the back?

They do.

Maybe they need to be scanned?

-Black light! -Black light.

Fifty-six.

Ooh.

Twenty-two.

Eighty-four.

Eighty-six, twenty-two, eighty-four.

That's got to be a combination, right?

-There's gotta be a lock. -Lock.

Let's look for a lock.

If I were a lock...

where would I be?

-Lock. -Lock.

[both laugh] -Nice!

Okay.

Fifty-six.

Twenty-two.

Eighty-four.

[buzzer]

Okay...

You wanna reach in there?

No. I don't wanna reach in there.

Yeah. Fair enough.

Oh.

It's a teddy bear.

But not just any teddy bear.

A Christmas present.

[in unison] Toy sack.

[mechanical whirring]

[Man] Ho, ho, ho!

You've escaped from Santa's workshop

with the gift in record time.

Proceed to the Santa's sleigh launchpad!

-What's up, now? -Record time.

-What's up? -We're incredible.

Oh. Okay.

Keep your eyes peeled for clues.

[loud buzzer] -[Ted screams]

Brendan!

[Hope] That's enough!

Oh, my gosh.

Whoa!

So, this is how he delivers billions of presents

in one night.

Santa 5.0.

Enter launch code.

What was our code? 56, 22, 84?

-[Hope] Yeah. [buzzer sounds]

Not it. All right.

We are looking for a new launch code.

Okay, we got this.

Hey.

The sleigh has a license plate that says 'baggage'.

Huh.

Okay.

What kind of baggage?

Well, there's a giant toy sack.

That's... that's a bag, right?

Good point.

Yeah.

Okay.

Anything?

No, there's nothing else in here.

Wait a sec.

Baggage.

Okay. Hear me out.

What if they're not letters?

What if they're musical notes?

-Ooh. -Mm-hmm.

-You're good. -Yeah.

Ooh. One problem.

I can't read music.

-Can you? -No.

That's gonna be a bit of a stumbling block.

Let me hop down. Do you think...

I mean, as much as it hurts my ego,

we ask for a little help?

Brendan, we need a clue!

Brendan, a little help, buddy!

[snoring]

He's, uh...

-He's taking his sweet time. -Yeah.

[snoring]

[Man] Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One. -[bell ringing]

Santa's sleigh launch aborted.

Christmas is canceled.

Have a holly, jolly failure.

Well, that was a little dramatic.

Yeah.

[snoring] -♪

[imitating horn]

[both yelling] Brendan!

[snoring] -♪

Brendan?

[Hope] Brendan!

[snoring] -♪

You know, I could think of rse places to be trapped.

-Really? -Yeah.

I could think of better.

Somewhere with...

food.

Oh.

Food, you say?

You think this is funny?

Yeah.

We can't escape from an escape room.

It's a little bit funny.

We don't have any water.

Hmm.

Or cell phones.

Don't you have a promo first thing in the morning?

-Yeah. -I've gotta work.

I think we're within our rights to be, you know...

a little upset.

Yeah, but being upset isn't gonna help us

get out of the room.

So I'd rather count my blessings.

We're inside.

We have a very cozy place to sit down.

Thank you, sleigh.

And my promo's not for 12 hours. We have plenty of time.

Besides, I'm sure Brendan's gonna let us out any minute.

♪

Let's see. What have we got?

Yep.

And it's morning.

[Ted chuckles]

Well, at least the, um...

...sleigh is comfortable. You were right about that.

Yeah.

Company's not bad either.

I wish I got to know you in high school.

Yeah.

At least we're getting to know each other now.

-Yeah. -Mm-hmm.

Then... lay it on me.

Give me...

the peek behind the curtain.

-Oh. -Who is...

-Ted Cooper? -Oh, wow.

Well...

for starters, I am a codependent people pleaser.

Go on.

My therapist would tell you it is

due to my mom leaving when we were young.

My dad never quite recovering from that.

And then my sister picking up his slack,

and then me learning to make myself as small as possible

so as to not create more work for the two of them.

Upside is I'm fun at parties.

[chuckles]

Lay it on me. Listen, I don't... no.

I don't want a highlight reel, I want the baggage.

Baggage. Okay.

Um...

Well, last year was a nightmare.

I moved back here, I lost my dad.

And I go between saving lives

and being two cats away from becoming a spinster.

I'm also three inches taller than I'm comfortable with.

Ahh.

-Just three inches? -Yeah.

No, but seriously, I...

I could never do what you do.

But it must

feel nice knowing that

your job literally makes the world a better place.

I think you're amazing, Hope.

Is this how you pictured the date ending?

Weirdly enough...

this is exactly how I pictured the date ending.

[gasps]

Uh... hey, guys.

Uh, so sorry about that.

Um...

as an apology for the whole accidental captivity thing,

how about a 50 percent discount next time you come back?

-That's nice, Brendan. -Mm-hmm.

Good morning.

Wow.

♪

Where have you been?

Got stuck in an escape room all night.

Hi Hope.

This is not a time for jokes.

-[Man] Less than a minute. -Not a joke. How's my hair?

Yes, it's good. It's perfect. You look great. Yeah.

Break a leg. -Yeah.

[clears throat]

Ted?

[Ken] Hello? You with us, buddy?

Indeed I am, Ken.

I am here live at the Lackawanna Community Center

where there has

never been a more beautiful morning.

Thank you... Ted.

And these local bakers are trying to set a state record

for the largest gingerbread man in New York history.

And why not a world record?

Well, because the world record is over 32ft tall, Ken,

and we don't have the budget for that.

So, come on down and help raise money

for the local children's hospital.

I, for one, can't think of a more delicious way

to raise money for a good cause.

Can you?

Reporting live from Lackawanna.

I'm Ted Cooper.

And we're clear.

Thank you.

That was great, I love you. I am going to kill you.

Where were you?

I mean, I am very happy, but you did not come home last night.

And I want to hug you, and I wanna strangle you.

I have conflicting feelings.

Yeah, I see that. Uh, listen...

I, uh, I got stuck in an escape room.

Like I said, I can't talk now. I love you and we'll talk later.

♪

So, what are you doing with the rest of your day?

Um...

Well, I have a shift. I've gotta work till 6:00.

-Oof! Ouch. -[Hope chuckles]

Well...

how about I call you after you get off, and...

maybe we can grab a drink, or...

get stuck in another local establishment.

[laughs]

Uh, we should be so lucky.

Good morning, Hope.

Good morning, Ted.

Hey.

Hey, look who's home.

[sighs] Keys, lover boy. I got places to be.

And I am going to take a long winter's nap.

Wait, quick reminder, you have one more promo

this afternoon before the big event tomorrow.

Yes, I will take a ride-share.

Okay.

Just don't thrown in jail between now and then.

No promises.

[keyboard tapping]

[phone chimes]

That... that's Ted, isn't it?

-Well, I mean... -Yeah. Thought so.

Yeah.

Wait, you like him.

I can't remember the last time I had this much fun.

How many guys would take you to an escape room

on our first date?

Hmm?

All right, Ted Cooper, you smooth operator.

Wait. When are you seeing him again?

Tonight.

Well, okay.

Well, I guess dinner with me and the others

is out of the question.

Have fun with your plans. -Okay.

[rock music plays]

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪

♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪

You Ed?

Last I checked.

Wasn't expecting a limo.

Well, surprise, surprise.

Yeah.

I'm digging the vibe in here, man.

Five star vibes are what I'm about.

Crank those tunes back up, Ed.

Right on, man!

♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly. ♪

♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♪

So, tomorrow, if you have plans,

cancel them.

If you have work, call in sick.

And if you have a hot date, tell them

it's not them, it's you.

Because you'll be in Lackawanna at the Gingerbread Invitational.

Back to you, Ken.

Uh...

Thanks... Ted.

Anything new? Because I'm not seeing any casts on body parts

or missing teeth or any apparent symptoms of illness.

I'm worried.

Is everything okay?

It's like I told you, Ken.

It was only a matter of time

before my Christmas bad luck turned around.

That's not frosting.

[Christmas music blasting]

[phone rings]

♪

Hello?

Hi.

Um...

Sorry, I was, uh... looking for Ted.

Ted? He's with me.

We're going to a Christmas rave.

Who's this?

Um... uh...

It doesn't matter.

You dropped your phone, Ted.

My name's not Ted, it's Ed.

Then whose phone is this?

[Syd] Wait, another woman answered?

Yo telling me Ted Cooper's a player?

Well, I... I mean... he...

doesn't seem like the kind of guy, but...

Is he?

Do you want me to track him down?

Liam Neeson style.

I have a very particular set of skills.

Oh, that won't be necessary.

Is it too late to join you for dinner?

I don't wanna wait around here.

Oh, of course.

Thank you.

Have you seen my phone?

No. Do you want me to call it?

Yes, please.

Do you hear it?

No.

It's ringing.

♪

[phone ringing]

Voicemail.

[groans]

[phone rings]

Hello? Yes.

Okay. That's fine.

Why don't you take me through the problem first?

-All right. Yeah. -Kate.

-Kat -What?

Can I borrow the car real quick?

Why?

Because I told Hope that I'd call her.

I don't want her to think I'm a flake.

-Okay. -Okay, sorry. Is that a work...

-Hi... -Is that a work call?

-Yes. -[makes gargling noise]

Love you.

I am so sorry about that.

Yes, my phone has just been on the fritz lately.

[knocking]

Mind if I borrow your phone?

Are you really calling her this early?

Yeah.

[call ringing] - Come on, Hope.

'Kay, so I've ordered the ultrasound, the X-ray.

[phone vibrating]

The bloodwork.

[sighs]

She's not picking up.

Well, Hope's a doctor. She's probably busy.

Speaking of busy, I have to go.

Goodbye.

Wait, wait, wait. Am I overthinking this whole thing?

'Cause it did seem like we were really clicking.

Ted, I'm sure whatever is going on,

if anyone can work it out, it's you.

But if you make me any later than I already am,

I will hurt you in ways you can't imagine.

-Understood. -Okay.

-See ya. -Wait, wait, wait.

How am I gonna call a car without my phone?

Walk.

-Ah... -Hm.

Whoa!

Hug?

No hug. Yeah.

No hug. Okay.

-Bye, Ted. -Bye.

Have a great day!

She didn't say it back.

[Ruth] Ted!

We were trying to call you.

Oh, I lost my phone.

What's up?

Well...

the girls and I pitched in and, well...

Here.

-For me? -Mm-hmm.

Aww! Thank you.

No way!

Aww, this is awesome!

Thank you.

Aww.

I gotta pop this on right now.

I'm part of the crew.

[rap music plays]

♪ You gotta step out looking ready outside ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, it's a holiday flex ♪

♪ Don't stress, don't stress ♪

♪ Yeah, it's a holiday flex ♪

♪ Yeah no stress, no stress ♪

Is everything okay, Ted?

You seem a little... less enthusiastic than normal.

Especially given that outfit.

Uh, keep going, girls. We'll catch up.

Well, I, uh, I assure you, it's not the outfit.

The outfit is incredible. Um...

It's Hope.

We were supposed to talk last night, but I lost my phone.

So, I went to her house, and I left a note, but...

she never called.

I'm just kinda spinning out,

wondering if she's having second thoughts.

Nuh-uh.

In life and in love, there will be so many situations

where you get your wires crossed.

Don't assume the worst.

It's just like in the movies, young couples are always

breaking up because of some silly misunderstanding.

Rock Hudson and Doris Day.

Robert Redford and Jane Fonda.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.

Yeah, they didn't break up. He died.

Because they misunderstood how big that door really was.

Don't fall into the same trap as everyone else.

As Cher would say, snap out of it.

You will talk to her again soon.

I know it.

Thanks, Ruth.

[sighs]

[phone vibrates]

Hello?

Uh... hey, is, uh... is this Hope?

Ted?

No, Ed.

I found this phone in my ride this morning.

I'm just calling all the recent callers,

trying to figure out who it belongs to.

So, wait, you... you've had...

Ted's phone since last night?

Ted Cooper?

I remember him. Sweet dude.

I gave him a ride yesterday.

Tell you what, if you can give me his address...

Oh!

I've done it again.

Oh, you... what? What did you do?

That thing.

The thing that I

Ugh, I gotta go find Ted.

Thank you. Thank you.

So, what should I do with Ted's phone?

Yeah, yeah. I'll call you back.

Hello? Hello?

Hey!

There you are.

[exhales]

Where have you been?

What are you wearing?

Never mind. That doesn't matter right now.

Well, actually...

That's a whole thing. That's a lot.

Is everything all right?

No, I mean...

it wasn't.

I called you last night, and this...

this girl, she...

picked up the phone and she said she was with you and I...

You know, I didn't know how to take that.

-Oh. -I just...

I realized that, you know, it's not like we're exclusive

or anything, I mean, we've just been on one date.

I... I was just, like, that's not cool.

Yeah.

That doesn't seem like something Ted would do.

But then...

you didn't call me, so I...

Did you get my note?

No, I...

Yeah... I left a note for you on your front door.

Well, a driver called and said that he had your phone.

Ed has my phone?

-Oh... -Of course you know the driver.

Listen, Ted.

I was so mad at myself for sitting around,

waiting for you to call, that I just, I, um...

I gave up.

And I do that sometimes.

I do, and I shouldn't, and I'm sorry.

[chuckles]

What's so funny?

Ruth, she called this. It's a classic misunderstanding.

When you thought I got the note and then I didn't call you...

Were you worried?

Yeah, I was worried that you were having second thoughts,

but now I'm just... I'm glad that we cleared it up.

Well, no, I'm glad that we cleared it up.

I... I think I'm just trying to talk about,

you know, what we were feeling.

Okay. Yeah, I... I get that.

Do you?

Get that?

Uh...

Are you upset that I'm not upset?

Well, no, I...

Well, now, maybe I think I'm upset that you never

get upset.

I... I get upset.

Do you? 'Cause I feel like you're happy all the time.

No, but...

even if I was, I mean, is there anything wrong with that?

No. It's just...

I think it makes it hard for me to understand you sometimes.

Okay. Um...

What, uh, what... what don't you understand?

For one...

why wouldn't you take the job in Buffalo?

Well that, see, that's complicated, right?

-Because Jerry gave me... -No, Ted.

this great opportunity when no one else would.

I know, I know. It's the job. It's the... the cookie.

It's the mayo on the burger. It's... it's... it's everything.

I don't... I don't know why you would give up what you want

just to make everybody else happy.

I don't like being an imposition.

Advocating for yourself isn't an imposition.

Ted, I like so much about you, I do, I really do.

I just, I think...

you know, when life gets hard, and it does, all the time

in my line of work, I'm... I'm just not sure that I can

be with someone that keeps it so surface all the time.

If you, uh...

I mean, if you think I just bury my head in the sand...

I don't think you really know me at all.

Then help me know you.

I think there's so much more to Ted

than you let any of us see.

Merry Christmas, Ted.

Hope, wait.

♪

♪

♪ A Christmas city is big and beautiful ♪

♪ bright lights everywhere ♪

♪

♪ a place where you can be St. Nick. ♪

♪

♪ A Christmas city... ♪

You seem uncharacteristically positive.

Hey, man, we already hit our fundraising goal.

-We did it. -What?

You did it!

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

No.

Hope and I had a fight.

Wow.

You got into a fight?

I didn't know you had it in you.

Well...

Hope fought.

I kinda just stood there and took it.

Oh.

Walk with me.

I'm gonna say something nice to you,

but don't get used to it, because it is only

gonna happen once.

Okay.

You deserve everything good in life.

But...

you hold yourself back.

You need to go after what you want.

That's something people say when they're scared..

You're gonna be okay.

You're gonna tell her how you feel

and you'll be back annoying me in no time.

Us against the world?

Us against the world.

-Hey. -Hmm?

What you've done here is incredible.

Have you taken a moment to appreciate that?

Yeah.

No, dude. I'm serious.

Look around you.

This took a Herculean effort, and you crushed it.

Soak it in.

It's moments like these that make you almost

worth the frown lines.

Almost.

Almost.

[doorbell rings]

[groans]

So, um... that's what you're wearing

to the Gingerbread Invitational fair?

Oh, I'm not going.

Got it. Okay.

You told me on the phone you don't wanna run into Ted.

That's right.

Then why are you here?

Because I think you're being ridiculous.

Hope, let me get this straight.

You're mad at him for not being mad at you, right?

-Yeah! -[scoffs]

He's happy.

All the time.

Oh, no!

A handsome, gainfully employed man in a good mood.

I think he's just trying to impress you.

He's trying to impress everyone.

So, he cares about everyone.

How terrible.

Look...

I have watched you go through some really hard times,

and I wanted to help, but I don't know how.

And then here comes Ted Cooper.

And he has put a smile on your face ever since

he came back into town.

Hope, that's a beautiful thing.

What are you scared of?

I've just...

Lost a lot.

Starting to feel like everybody leaves.

And maybe...

Maybe it's me.

Hope.

I only think it's you if you leave him

on the other side of the city.

Fight for him.

♪

I'm here in Lackawanna where the Gingerbread Invitational

is officially underway.

The giant gingerbread man behind me will soon be measured

to determine whether or not it has set a state record

for the largest gingerbread man in New York history.

Until then, I'll be here hanging out with members

of my hometown, discussing the art of baking...

[Syd] Okay, Hope. Big breath, big breath.

[Ted] ...and of course, Christmas.

-Go get him. -Okay.

-You got it. -I know, I know, I know.

Let's talk to some folks, shall we?

You two. Oh, come on.

Dressed to the nines.

What is it that you love about Christmas?

You're not going up there?

No, I hate crowds.

Yeah. Me too.

Last time I braved the crowd like this was the Eras tour.

You went to the Eras tour?

Oh, I wouldn't have missed it.

Oh.

Well. Hi.

I'm Sydney.

Brandon.

-Hi. -Hi.

Let's see, who else? Yes, you.

What is it that you love about Christmas?

Oh, I like Christmas because of the presents.

And my Grandma and Grandpa come to town.

And because I like presents.

[chuckles] I think you said presents twice.

I like presents.

I see you do.

Well, I hope you get everything you hope for this year.

Who else?

Ma'am.

How about you?

Yes. You.

-Oh, no. -Oh, come on,

Don't be shy.

Come on.

-Hi. Uh... -Hey.

What is it that you are hoping for this Christmas?

Um...

-World peace. [chuckles] -Mmhmm, mmhmm.

It seems like a... a good one.

-Sure. -Um...

A, uh... you know... goodwill to everyone.

Yeah.

-Goes without saying. -Yeah.

And, um...

Maybe a conversation that's not on-air.

Well, it, uh... sounds like the perfect time

to throw it back to you in the studio, Ken.

And we're clear.

-Hi. -Hi.

Oh, it's good to see you. Can I go first?

I'm aware that I am chronically optimistic

and that I brightside every situation.

But I do get sad, and I do get angry.

And I can do better at showing that.

And you were right.

I don't advocate for myself or fight for what I want

nearly as much as I could or should.

But I can do better.

And I... I... I will...

do better.

Starting with you.

I took the job in Buffalo.

You did?

Yeah.

It's a great opportunity and, um...

happens to be much closer to the girl I like.

That's good news.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

What did your producers in Corning say?

I don't know.

I didn't ask.

[applause]

[cheering]

[laughing]

[Field Producer Coming back in three..

two... one.

We're li-- we're live.

We're... Ted!

Ted, we're live!

♪

♪

Hey! It's Ted. Come on.

Oh, my God!

[laughter and cheering]

[cheers and applause]

[snoring]

Ken gave me odds of 10,000 to one!

I'm rich!

♪ Mistletoe hanging ♪

I'm gonna have to sell my boat.

♪ family is gathering ♪

Ted!

Ted, we're live!

[applause]

Whoo!

♪

Oh.

Yeah.

Best Christmas ever.

If you haven't already done so, please consider donating

to the Lackawanna Children's Hospital.

I can't think of a more worthy cause

this holiday season.

From Lackawanna, I'm Ted Hooper.

No, I'm not.

[laughter]

Kiss got me flustered.

From Lackawanna, I'm Ted Cooper.

Merry Christmas.

And we're clear.

[sighs] Honestly, thank goodness.

[laughs]

[laughs]

That was a... professional first for me.

[sighs]

Well...

Guess my Christmas bad luck is finally behind me.

[creaking sound]

[crashing thud]

♪

♪