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1
00:00:02,935 --> 00:00:03,935
¶ One, two, three, four
2
00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:06,271
¶ Five, six, seven, eight
3
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:07,839
¶ Schlemiel, Schlemazel
4
00:00:07,907 --> 00:00:10,575
¶ Hasenpfeffer, Incorporated
5
00:00:10,642 --> 00:00:13,128
¶ We're gonna do it
6
00:00:13,195 --> 00:00:15,830
¶ Give us any chance,
we'll take it ¶
7
00:00:15,898 --> 00:00:18,833
¶ Read us any rule,
we'll break it ¶
8
00:00:18,901 --> 00:00:22,220
¶ We're gonna make
our dreams come true ¶
9
00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:24,356
¶ Doing it our way
10
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:27,542
¶ Nothing's gonna
turn us back now ¶
11
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:31,513
¶ Straight ahead
and on the track now ¶
12
00:00:31,580 --> 00:00:34,516
¶ We're gonna make
our dreams come true ¶
13
00:00:34,584 --> 00:00:37,018
¶ Doing it our way
14
00:00:37,086 --> 00:00:39,855
¶ There is nothing
we won't try ¶
15
00:00:39,922 --> 00:00:41,689
¶ Never heard
the word "impossible" ¶
16
00:00:41,757 --> 00:00:45,694
¶ This time,
there's no stopping us ¶
17
00:00:45,761 --> 00:00:47,629
¶ We're gonna do it
18
00:00:47,697 --> 00:00:50,915
¶ On your mark,
get set and go now ¶
19
00:00:50,983 --> 00:00:54,452
¶ Got a dream,
and we just know now ¶
20
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,722
¶ We're gonna make
that dream come true ¶
21
00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:02,544
¶ And we'll do it our way,
yes, our way ¶
22
00:01:02,612 --> 00:01:04,446
¶ Make all our dreams
come true ¶
23
00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:08,483
¶ And we'll do it our way,
yes, our way ¶
24
00:01:08,551 --> 00:01:12,787
¶ Make all our dreams
come true ¶
25
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:18,659
¶ For me and you.
26
00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:24,466
( whistle blows )
27
00:01:24,533 --> 00:01:28,570
Laverne and Shirley is filmedbefore a studio audience.
28
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:36,862
This place is failing apart.
29
00:01:36,929 --> 00:01:39,664
Someone took all the toilet
paper out of the ladies' room.
30
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:45,186
Shirl, why'd you
take the paper?
31
00:01:45,254 --> 00:01:47,589
Because I'm making
tiny little carnations
32
00:01:47,657 --> 00:01:49,257
for our high
school reunion.
33
00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:50,759
Aren't they festive?
34
00:01:50,826 --> 00:01:52,126
Boy,
you're a corker.
35
00:01:52,194 --> 00:01:53,561
Thank you.
36
00:01:53,629 --> 00:01:56,164
You really work
your little heart out
37
00:01:56,231 --> 00:01:58,633
planning these
reunions, don't you?
38
00:01:58,701 --> 00:01:59,834
I do my best.
39
00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:02,404
In the three years
since we graduated,
40
00:02:02,471 --> 00:02:04,439
how many reunions
have we had?
41
00:02:04,506 --> 00:02:06,474
Four.
42
00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:09,844
Do you really think people want
that many reunions?
43
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,879
I admit having
two the first year
44
00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:14,749
was a mistake, but
I've learned my lesson.
45
00:02:14,817 --> 00:02:16,317
Uh, how
can I say this
46
00:02:16,385 --> 00:02:18,819
without hurting
your feelings?
47
00:02:18,887 --> 00:02:20,855
Your reunions stink.
48
00:02:23,225 --> 00:02:24,592
Boy, you
really sharpened
49
00:02:24,660 --> 00:02:27,162
your darts today,
didn't you, Laverne?
50
00:02:27,229 --> 00:02:30,165
I'm sorry, but they're
very, very boring.
51
00:02:30,232 --> 00:02:32,534
People
love my reunions.
52
00:02:32,601 --> 00:02:35,070
People don't love
your reunions, Shirl,
53
00:02:35,137 --> 00:02:36,972
people avoid your reunions.
54
00:02:37,039 --> 00:02:39,274
How many people
came the first year?
55
00:02:39,342 --> 00:02:40,391
Eighty-five.
56
00:02:40,459 --> 00:02:41,859
And how many
people came last year?
57
00:02:41,927 --> 00:02:42,860
I didn't count.
58
00:02:42,928 --> 00:02:43,861
There were seven.
59
00:02:43,929 --> 00:02:45,029
I didn't count.
60
00:02:45,097 --> 00:02:47,148
There were seven.
61
00:02:47,216 --> 00:02:50,751
Seven people wearing
25 carnations.
62
00:02:50,819 --> 00:02:55,656
We looked
very silly, Shirl.
63
00:02:55,724 --> 00:02:58,326
Well, who knows who
will show up this year?
64
00:02:58,394 --> 00:02:59,444
I know.
65
00:02:59,511 --> 00:03:00,878
The same people who
show up every year.
66
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:02,613
People I didn't
want to see then,
67
00:03:02,681 --> 00:03:03,815
people I don't
want to see now,
68
00:03:03,882 --> 00:03:05,616
and people I don't
ever want to see again.
69
00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:06,867
Hello.
70
00:03:08,337 --> 00:03:09,270
Hi, ladies.
71
00:03:09,338 --> 00:03:10,371
We got our invitations.
72
00:03:10,439 --> 00:03:11,939
Yeah, we're going
to be there.
73
00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:15,343
I rest my case.
74
00:03:15,411 --> 00:03:18,263
And, uh, here's another
dart for you, Shirl.
75
00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:20,498
I'm not
coming this year.
76
00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:22,650
What do you mean
you're not coming, Laverne?
77
00:03:22,718 --> 00:03:23,852
You have to come.
78
00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:25,152
You're my co-hostess.
79
00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:26,971
How will I explain it
to everybody?
80
00:03:27,038 --> 00:03:27,939
Very simply.
81
00:03:28,006 --> 00:03:29,707
Just talk to them
one at a time.
82
00:03:29,775 --> 00:03:31,342
It should take
you two minutes.
83
00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:33,611
Where are you going
with my flowers?
84
00:03:33,679 --> 00:03:34,846
To the ladies' room.
85
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:36,681
No!
86
00:03:44,289 --> 00:03:47,492
I got peanut butter.
What do you got?
87
00:03:47,559 --> 00:03:49,227
Spaghetti.
88
00:03:51,697 --> 00:03:54,499
LAVERNE:
I'm not goingto your reunion.
89
00:03:54,566 --> 00:03:55,900
I'm glad
you're not going.
90
00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:58,069
I want to come
home from my reunion
91
00:03:58,136 --> 00:03:59,804
and find you
here all alone.
92
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:03,691
And I'll write in my diary what
a wonderful time I had,
93
00:04:03,759 --> 00:04:05,093
and you'll write
in your diary,
94
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,294
"Shirley was right,
95
00:04:06,362 --> 00:04:08,263
"I should have gone
to the reunion.
96
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:11,482
Boy, am I stupid."
97
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:14,302
I don't even have a diary.
98
00:04:14,369 --> 00:04:15,669
( knocking at door )
99
00:04:15,737 --> 00:04:18,139
You should keep a diary,
for your children.
100
00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:19,440
Why?
101
00:04:19,508 --> 00:04:21,910
It would just be filled
with lies anyway.
102
00:04:21,977 --> 00:04:23,311
Who is it?
103
00:04:26,681 --> 00:04:28,182
It's me, the Big Ragoo.
104
00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:31,119
Hi, girls.
105
00:04:31,186 --> 00:04:32,253
Hi.
106
00:04:32,321 --> 00:04:33,454
I brought
your mail, Angel Face.
107
00:04:33,522 --> 00:04:34,522
Thank you.
108
00:04:34,589 --> 00:04:36,057
This must be yours, Laverne.
109
00:04:36,125 --> 00:04:37,191
Oh, great.
110
00:04:37,259 --> 00:04:39,060
Another ad for
the removal
111
00:04:39,128 --> 00:04:42,263
of unwanted
facial hair.
112
00:04:42,331 --> 00:04:44,682
It's a yes! It's a yes!
113
00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:45,850
I got a yes!
114
00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:46,901
For what?
115
00:04:46,969 --> 00:04:48,302
For the reunion.
116
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:49,671
Oh, that.
117
00:04:49,738 --> 00:04:51,773
It might
be a joke.
118
00:04:51,841 --> 00:04:53,524
This is no joke.
119
00:04:53,592 --> 00:04:55,927
This is from Anne Marie.
120
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:56,911
Polanski?
121
00:04:56,978 --> 00:04:58,579
I haven't seen her
since graduation.
122
00:04:58,647 --> 00:04:59,747
Whatever
happened to her?
123
00:04:59,815 --> 00:05:00,915
She lives
in Chicago now.
124
00:05:00,982 --> 00:05:02,417
She's going
to be here Saturday.
125
00:05:02,484 --> 00:05:03,918
I remember you girls
used to be like
126
00:05:03,985 --> 00:05:05,152
The Three Stooges.
127
00:05:06,705 --> 00:05:09,274
That's Musketeers.
128
00:05:09,341 --> 00:05:11,892
Oh, was it? Oh.
129
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,294
Anne Marie...
130
00:05:13,361 --> 00:05:15,362
what a crazy
girl she was.
131
00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:16,497
Yeah.
132
00:05:16,564 --> 00:05:18,399
Boy, remember the time
she put the ad
133
00:05:18,466 --> 00:05:20,367
in the newspaper
to sell the school?
134
00:05:23,004 --> 00:05:23,937
Hey, I got a great idea.
135
00:05:24,005 --> 00:05:25,306
I'll spread the word around
136
00:05:25,374 --> 00:05:26,607
that the Three Musketeers
are back in action.
137
00:05:26,675 --> 00:05:27,592
That ought
to get you
138
00:05:27,659 --> 00:05:28,593
a good turn-out,
Shirl.
139
00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:29,861
All right?
Great idea, huh?
140
00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:31,262
Good, I'll tell the guys
on the football team
141
00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:32,530
that Anne Marie's back.
142
00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:33,932
You know, she used
to practice with them.
143
00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:35,850
Yeah, I remember
she used to be
144
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:38,119
a lot of fun in the huddle.
145
00:05:43,359 --> 00:05:47,528
Oh, wow, remember what
they used to call us?
146
00:05:47,596 --> 00:05:53,167
Gutsy, Nutsy,
and Clutsy.
147
00:05:53,235 --> 00:05:54,903
Boy, remember
the time Anne Marie
148
00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:56,704
and you slept over
at my house
149
00:05:56,772 --> 00:05:59,440
and Lenny, Squiggy and
Hector tried to crash?
150
00:05:59,508 --> 00:06:01,843
Yes, oh boy did
I fix their wagons.
151
00:06:01,911 --> 00:06:03,177
You?
152
00:06:03,245 --> 00:06:04,245
You did nothing.
153
00:06:04,312 --> 00:06:06,915
It was all
Anne Marie's idea.
154
00:06:06,982 --> 00:06:08,883
Watch her, watch her,
watch her, watch her,
155
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:10,585
watch her, watch her,
watch her,
156
00:06:10,653 --> 00:06:11,802
watch her, watch...
157
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:14,672
Look how good
she does that, Shirl.
158
00:06:14,739 --> 00:06:16,607
( coughing )
159
00:06:16,675 --> 00:06:18,176
You better go open a window.
160
00:06:18,243 --> 00:06:20,244
If my father smells
smoke we're dead,
161
00:06:20,312 --> 00:06:22,013
if we don't die
from this first.
162
00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:23,881
( screaming )
163
00:06:26,785 --> 00:06:29,687
Never fails.
164
00:06:29,754 --> 00:06:31,155
Every time
we sleep over,
165
00:06:31,223 --> 00:06:33,524
Lenny, Squiggy,
and Hector show up.
166
00:06:33,592 --> 00:06:35,292
Yeah, I'm going
to get a water balloon
167
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,294
and pelt them one
right in the head.
168
00:06:37,362 --> 00:06:39,330
Ah-ah, I can handle this.
169
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,882
Get out
of here, creepos!
170
00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:42,983
( screaming )
171
00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:44,435
They got
a camera, Anne Marie.
172
00:06:44,503 --> 00:06:45,603
You get that,
Hector?
Yeah.
173
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:46,637
Don't waste
your flashbulbs.
174
00:06:46,705 --> 00:06:47,839
Wait until they're naked.
175
00:06:49,508 --> 00:06:51,009
I'm-I'm blinded.
176
00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:52,110
I'm calling the police.
177
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,261
The police?
178
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,662
That's all right,
just tell them
179
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:55,830
you're with
Life magazine.
180
00:06:55,897 --> 00:06:56,831
Come on, Squiggy.
181
00:06:56,898 --> 00:06:58,132
I'm from Life magazine.
182
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,535
Not them, stupid,
the police.
183
00:07:00,603 --> 00:07:02,053
My balloon broke.
184
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:03,587
Forget
about that.
185
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:04,822
I got a plan.
186
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,858
Listen to this.
187
00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:10,361
Oh, Hector.
188
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:12,997
You want pictures?
189
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:14,315
No, no, no, no, I can't.
190
00:07:14,382 --> 00:07:15,950
Or you want
to come in here
191
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:17,184
and let us give you
192
00:07:17,252 --> 00:07:19,453
a little party
you'll never forget.
193
00:07:19,521 --> 00:07:22,256
I'll be right in.
194
00:07:22,324 --> 00:07:24,141
Try the door, Hector.
195
00:07:24,209 --> 00:07:25,409
I'll try the door.
196
00:07:25,477 --> 00:07:27,411
Oh, this is
a crazy idea.
197
00:07:27,479 --> 00:07:28,846
It's a great idea.
198
00:07:28,914 --> 00:07:30,314
All you have
to do is act sexy.
199
00:07:30,382 --> 00:07:32,049
No.
No, I can't.
200
00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:34,818
I'm not allowed.
201
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:37,955
Shirl, just
think about it.
202
00:07:38,023 --> 00:07:40,258
Hector's been bothering
us for years, right?
203
00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:41,425
Right.
204
00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:43,560
He's ruined every
party we've had, right?
205
00:07:43,628 --> 00:07:44,695
Right.
206
00:07:44,763 --> 00:07:46,830
This is the perfect
chance to get even.
207
00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:48,732
Think about it,
it'll be a riot.
208
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,935
( giggling )
209
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,303
That's my Shirl.
210
00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:55,139
That's the girl I got kicked out
of the Brownies with.
211
00:07:55,207 --> 00:07:57,875
Come on, sit up
and act sexy.
212
00:07:57,943 --> 00:07:59,110
Okay, just
get Hector
213
00:07:59,177 --> 00:08:01,011
as crazy
as you can, okay?
214
00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:04,148
If you got it,
flaunt it.
215
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:05,250
Hi.
216
00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:06,317
Hi.
217
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:07,452
Hi.
218
00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:10,955
Boy, you girls
got great pajamas.
219
00:08:11,022 --> 00:08:12,039
Thank you.
220
00:08:12,107 --> 00:08:13,541
We were
just discussing
221
00:08:13,609 --> 00:08:15,876
how we'd love
to have some he-man
222
00:08:15,944 --> 00:08:19,614
come by so we could show
him a real good time.
223
00:08:19,682 --> 00:08:21,716
And here
you are.
224
00:08:21,783 --> 00:08:24,301
You wouldn't mind
having a real good time,
225
00:08:24,369 --> 00:08:25,803
would you, Hector?
226
00:08:25,871 --> 00:08:28,089
As long
as it don't hurt.
227
00:08:30,459 --> 00:08:32,059
You know,
228
00:08:32,127 --> 00:08:36,597
I've always admired
you from afar, Hector.
229
00:08:36,665 --> 00:08:38,466
Sure.
230
00:08:38,534 --> 00:08:40,334
What about Anne Marie,
and Shirley?
231
00:08:40,402 --> 00:08:42,637
What's the
matter, Hector?
232
00:08:42,704 --> 00:08:45,540
The three of us
too much for you?
233
00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:47,441
The three of you?
234
00:08:47,509 --> 00:08:50,278
( mumbling )
235
00:08:50,345 --> 00:08:52,280
The three of you, sure.
236
00:08:52,347 --> 00:08:54,482
Okay, get in
the closet and...
237
00:08:54,550 --> 00:08:56,067
get ready.
238
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,102
We'll get
ready out here.
239
00:08:58,170 --> 00:08:58,836
When should I come out?
240
00:08:58,903 --> 00:08:59,870
Count to 100.
241
00:08:59,938 --> 00:09:01,738
Five, ten, 15, 20...
242
00:09:01,806 --> 00:09:03,441
By ones, Hector.
243
00:09:03,508 --> 00:09:05,209
One, two, three, four...
244
00:09:05,277 --> 00:09:08,279
( laughing )
245
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,597
We can
take his picture
246
00:09:09,664 --> 00:09:11,665
and plaster it
all over school.
247
00:09:11,734 --> 00:09:14,535
Boy, that'll teach him
to be a Peeping Tom.
248
00:09:14,603 --> 00:09:15,603
Yeah.
249
00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:18,389
Okay, now let's all
just get ready.
250
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:20,224
Hi, girls.
251
00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:22,360
( shrieks )
252
00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:24,595
Uh, hi, Pop.
253
00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:26,614
Hi. Hi.
254
00:09:26,682 --> 00:09:29,783
Let me
take your coat.
255
00:09:29,851 --> 00:09:33,554
Oh, what are you
doing home so early?
256
00:09:33,622 --> 00:09:36,023
I'm bushed.
257
00:09:36,091 --> 00:09:39,960
Four bowling leagues,
200 pizzas.
258
00:09:40,028 --> 00:09:41,312
LAVERNE:
What about the inventory?
259
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:43,897
POP:
They ate it.
260
00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:46,283
Uh, well what about
taking inventory
261
00:09:46,351 --> 00:09:48,685
of your pizza trays
or oven paddles?
262
00:09:48,753 --> 00:09:50,988
What,
are you crazy?
263
00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:54,558
I'm bushed, I'm
staying home tonight.
264
00:09:54,626 --> 00:09:56,827
( groans )
265
00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:58,979
What are you all standing there
looking so funny?
266
00:09:59,047 --> 00:10:01,048
What have you got,
a guy in the closet?
267
00:10:01,116 --> 00:10:03,434
( laughing )
268
00:10:05,804 --> 00:10:07,505
Oh, boy, you look
tired, Pop.
269
00:10:07,572 --> 00:10:08,973
Why don't you
go to bed?
270
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,808
Yes, you look all
tired, all drawn out.
271
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:11,926
LAVERNE:
Yeah.
272
00:10:11,993 --> 00:10:13,193
I got to unwind.
273
00:10:13,261 --> 00:10:15,663
I know what I'll do,
I'll turn on Jack Paar.
274
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:17,948
Uh, no, it's a terrible
show tonight, Pop.
275
00:10:18,016 --> 00:10:20,617
They're doing a tribute
to Jose Melis.
276
00:10:20,685 --> 00:10:21,885
I like Jose Melis.
277
00:10:21,953 --> 00:10:24,054
HECTOR:
97, 98, 99, 100.
278
00:10:24,122 --> 00:10:25,590
What the...?
279
00:10:25,657 --> 00:10:28,792
Let the good
times roll!
280
00:10:31,746 --> 00:10:33,447
Hi. I'm from Life magazine.
281
00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:34,899
I'm going to kill you!
282
00:10:34,966 --> 00:10:37,769
( shouting )
283
00:10:42,507 --> 00:10:44,858
Boy, it was
Anne Marie's idea
284
00:10:44,926 --> 00:10:47,060
and you got grounded
three months for it.
285
00:10:47,128 --> 00:10:48,629
Yeah, but it was
worth it.
286
00:10:48,697 --> 00:10:50,531
Hector never
bothered us again.
287
00:10:50,599 --> 00:10:51,699
No.
288
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:53,467
She's going to drop
by here first.
289
00:10:53,535 --> 00:10:55,202
It's going to be
a great reunion
290
00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:56,404
with Anne Marie there.
291
00:10:56,471 --> 00:10:57,705
Are you coming,
Laverne?
292
00:10:57,773 --> 00:11:00,140
Yeah, I'm coming.
293
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:05,112
I knew you'd come
crawling to me,
294
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:09,216
begging on your knees,
to come to my reunion.
295
00:11:09,284 --> 00:11:11,251
Okay, let's forget
the whole thing.
296
00:11:11,319 --> 00:11:13,054
Oh, no,
oh, please, Laverne,
297
00:11:13,121 --> 00:11:14,555
please, please, come.
298
00:11:14,622 --> 00:11:16,256
I won't make you
wear a carnation.
299
00:11:16,324 --> 00:11:18,576
I'm begging you,
please, please...
300
00:11:20,678 --> 00:11:22,746
( pounding )
301
00:11:22,814 --> 00:11:24,982
( knocking at door )
302
00:11:29,621 --> 00:11:31,088
Who is it?
303
00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:32,973
It's Anne Marie,
Shirley.
304
00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:38,378
Welcome, Nutsy!
305
00:11:47,222 --> 00:11:49,523
What's new?
306
00:11:58,099 --> 00:12:00,468
( shower running )
307
00:12:05,073 --> 00:12:06,707
ANNE MARIE:
Hey... hey, Shirley,
308
00:12:06,775 --> 00:12:08,275
where do you keep
the towels?
309
00:12:08,343 --> 00:12:11,561
Uh, they're in the cabinet,
Anne Marie.
310
00:12:13,631 --> 00:12:15,900
The ones with
the "Hotel Pfister"
311
00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:17,968
written on them were gifts.
312
00:12:19,804 --> 00:12:23,274
I said that with a Bible
in my hands!
313
00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,493
Did she get here?
314
00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:27,295
Yeah, she's
in the bathroom.
315
00:12:27,362 --> 00:12:28,529
Great. Hey, Nutsy!
316
00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:30,965
Laverne, I have to talk
to you for a minute...
317
00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:32,033
Is that you,
Laverne?
318
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,467
You bet your
buns, it's me.
319
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:34,501
No, no!
320
00:12:34,569 --> 00:12:36,386
Haul it out here.
321
00:12:36,454 --> 00:12:37,955
I want to take
a look at you.
322
00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:39,824
Watch your mouth, Laverne.
Watch your mouth.
323
00:12:39,891 --> 00:12:41,592
What are you
talking about?
She loves it.
324
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,027
Hey, I picked up
some extra beer,
325
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,030
in case we get lucky tonight
and pick up some fellas.
326
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,298
Give me that!
327
00:12:47,365 --> 00:12:48,532
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
328
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,800
Give it to me!
329
00:12:49,867 --> 00:12:51,152
We won't get lucky.
330
00:12:51,219 --> 00:12:52,987
Laverne!
331
00:12:53,055 --> 00:12:55,472
Nutsy, hey!
332
00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:56,974
Oh, you look terrific!
333
00:12:57,042 --> 00:12:58,575
Hey, remember this one?
334
00:12:58,643 --> 00:13:00,710
Fillmore High,
we wish you well.
335
00:13:00,778 --> 00:13:02,879
If you don't like it,
go to h...
336
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,116
Heck! Heck! Heck!
337
00:13:06,184 --> 00:13:06,951
I-I...
338
00:13:07,018 --> 00:13:09,286
Yeah, I remember that one.
339
00:13:09,354 --> 00:13:12,039
Boy, Anne Marie, you
haven't changed a bit.
340
00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:14,141
Oh yes, yes,
she's changed...
341
00:13:14,209 --> 00:13:15,743
She's changed, Laverne.
342
00:13:15,810 --> 00:13:17,645
What are you talking about?
343
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:19,279
Old love 'em
and leave 'em Polanski?
344
00:13:19,281 --> 00:13:23,651
I bet in Chicago there's a lot
of the old vo-de-oh-do-do, huh?
345
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,553
Vo-de-oh-do-do...
346
00:13:25,621 --> 00:13:27,338
I'm a nun.
347
00:13:28,790 --> 00:13:31,058
( laughs )
348
00:13:32,794 --> 00:13:34,562
Nutsy's a nun, right?
349
00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:36,346
( laughs )
350
00:13:36,414 --> 00:13:37,581
What a kidder she is!
351
00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:39,383
I really ama nun, Laverne.
352
00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:41,836
Ho, ho, ho...
353
00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:44,638
A nun.
354
00:13:44,706 --> 00:13:46,173
She's a nun, Shirl.
355
00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:47,541
A nun!
356
00:13:48,777 --> 00:13:52,396
A nun...
357
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:54,865
A nun's nice.
358
00:13:56,635 --> 00:14:01,872
Uh... did you see
our shrine here?
359
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:04,808
Look, I know
it's kind of a surprise.
360
00:14:04,876 --> 00:14:07,228
Oh, no.
361
00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:08,546
Don't let it bother you.
362
00:14:08,613 --> 00:14:10,481
Oh, no.
363
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,165
I think I'll go get dressed.
364
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:13,934
Be ready in a few minutes.
365
00:14:14,002 --> 00:14:15,619
( door shuts )
366
00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:18,990
( groaning )
367
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:22,459
I just said, "bet
your buns" to a nun.
368
00:14:24,329 --> 00:14:25,696
Is that a sin?
369
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:29,333
It's out of my hands
now, Laverne.
370
00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:34,772
Boy, this is going to
be some great reunion.
371
00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:37,674
Everyone's going
to really have a ball
372
00:14:37,742 --> 00:14:40,778
strolling down
memory lane with a nun.
373
00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:42,413
( cheering )
374
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,048
CARMINE ( shouting ):
Hey, hey...
375
00:14:45,116 --> 00:14:46,983
California orange,
Texas cactus.
376
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,353
We play your team
just for practice!
377
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,221
( cheering )
378
00:14:51,289 --> 00:14:52,389
( whistles )
379
00:14:53,724 --> 00:14:55,092
Boy, I tell you,
the old class
380
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,494
is really excited
about seeing Anne Marie again.
381
00:14:57,562 --> 00:14:58,595
Whoo!
382
00:14:58,663 --> 00:15:00,030
Yeah, see, I tell
you something.
383
00:15:00,098 --> 00:15:02,632
When I see Anne Marie,
I'm going to ask her to dance.
384
00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:04,134
She ain't gonna
dance with you.
385
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:05,869
Oh yeah? You want to bet?
386
00:15:05,937 --> 00:15:08,122
Yeah, I'll bet you five dollars
she don't dance with you.
387
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:11,241
Five dollars! That's my
hair tonic money for a month!
388
00:15:11,309 --> 00:15:12,476
Chicken!
389
00:15:12,543 --> 00:15:13,677
( clucking )
390
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:15,412
All right, all right!
( yells )
391
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,514
All right, it's a bet.
392
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,335
Welcome.
Welcome, Class of '56.
393
00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:24,888
( cheering )
394
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:27,791
Everyone remembers Anne Marie.
395
00:15:27,859 --> 00:15:30,060
( cheering )
396
00:15:30,128 --> 00:15:32,562
( cheering stops )
397
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:35,432
Hi.
398
00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:40,521
Hi, Anne Marie.
399
00:15:40,588 --> 00:15:42,456
Want to dance?
400
00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:50,547
¶ Pretend you're happy
when you're blue ¶
401
00:15:50,615 --> 00:15:51,615
Thank you.
402
00:15:51,683 --> 00:15:53,183
¶ It isn't very hard to do
403
00:15:53,251 --> 00:15:54,752
See, I was right.
404
00:15:54,819 --> 00:15:57,487
This is my best reunion ever.
405
00:15:57,555 --> 00:16:00,424
Can't you see what's
going on, Shirl?
406
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:02,960
Nobody is having
a good time.
407
00:16:03,027 --> 00:16:04,795
Look at poor Squiggy.
408
00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:07,314
It breaks my heart
to see him like that.
409
00:16:09,450 --> 00:16:10,918
He's having fun.
410
00:16:10,986 --> 00:16:12,519
Everybody's having fun.
411
00:16:12,587 --> 00:16:15,055
It's just
a different kind of fun.
412
00:16:15,123 --> 00:16:16,156
What kind of fun?
413
00:16:16,224 --> 00:16:18,392
The kind where you walk out,
get on a bus and leave?
414
00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:20,327
'Cause that's what
they're all doing, Shirl.
415
00:16:20,395 --> 00:16:23,297
They said they'd be back
right after the movie was over.
416
00:16:23,364 --> 00:16:25,516
Face it, Shirl,
everyone feels
417
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:28,051
uncomfortable
around Anne Marie.
418
00:16:28,119 --> 00:16:30,921
That's why no one
is talking to her.
419
00:16:30,988 --> 00:16:32,989
Lenny's talking to her.
420
00:16:33,057 --> 00:16:35,659
He's confessing.
421
00:16:35,727 --> 00:16:39,630
...I copped a yo-yo from
Spencer's department store.
422
00:16:39,697 --> 00:16:41,331
That's when I was 11.
423
00:16:41,399 --> 00:16:44,868
Then I cheated on
a hygiene quiz
in ninth grade.
424
00:16:44,935 --> 00:16:48,405
That may not count,
'cause I flunked it anyway.
425
00:16:48,473 --> 00:16:51,208
I think I'm okay
for the tenth grade,
426
00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:54,010
'cause I was out the
whole year with ringworm.
427
00:16:55,697 --> 00:16:56,997
Excuse me, Leonard.
428
00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:59,400
Oh, you can't catch
it from me now.
429
00:16:59,468 --> 00:17:01,318
I used that
yellow soap...
430
00:17:01,386 --> 00:17:04,638
Uh, Lenny,
nuns don't hear confessions.
431
00:17:04,706 --> 00:17:07,941
Oh. Well, could you pass
this on to a priest?
432
00:17:11,479 --> 00:17:13,580
What's the matter,
Anne Marie?
433
00:17:13,648 --> 00:17:14,748
I think I'd better leave.
434
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,251
I'm throwing a real damper
on this party.
435
00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:18,285
Oh, no...
You happy now?
436
00:17:18,353 --> 00:17:19,486
You depressed a nun.
437
00:17:19,554 --> 00:17:20,654
Oh...
438
00:17:20,721 --> 00:17:21,655
Let's go.
439
00:17:21,722 --> 00:17:22,722
No, no, no, wait.
440
00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:23,990
The fun's barely begun.
441
00:17:24,058 --> 00:17:25,559
I've got an idea.
442
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:29,530
And now, presenting
"The Alma Mater."
443
00:17:29,597 --> 00:17:31,131
Let's all stand up,
join hands,
444
00:17:31,199 --> 00:17:32,432
and sing "The Alma Mater."
445
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:33,734
Come on!
446
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:38,171
¶ Hail to thee, my alma mater
447
00:17:38,239 --> 00:17:42,743
¶ Fillmore Millard High
448
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:47,614
¶ We salute thee,
alma mater ¶
449
00:17:47,682 --> 00:17:52,252
¶ As the years roll by
450
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:57,057
¶ Onward, onward,
to the future ¶
451
00:17:57,124 --> 00:18:01,595
¶ Letting freedom ring
452
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:05,766
¶ 'Tis to thee,
our gold and purple ¶
453
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:10,954
¶ That we ever sing
454
00:18:11,022 --> 00:18:16,243
¶ O'er the years
we'll oft remember ¶
455
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:21,515
¶ Passing through
your sacred halls ¶
456
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:27,204
¶ Gold and purple,
we adore thee ¶
457
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:32,176
¶ Fillmore High, my life
458
00:18:32,243 --> 00:18:37,348
¶ My all.
459
00:18:44,372 --> 00:18:46,540
Oh, memories.
460
00:18:46,608 --> 00:18:48,492
HECTOR:
...94, 95...
461
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,693
What's that?
462
00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:50,994
...96, 97, 98...
463
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,346
Oh, I forgot!
464
00:18:52,414 --> 00:18:53,530
...99, 100.
465
00:18:53,598 --> 00:18:55,933
Hey, Anne Marie, remember this?
466
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:00,004
Life magazine!
467
00:19:00,071 --> 00:19:03,407
I remember you!
I remember...!
468
00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:20,924
Where's Anne Marie?
469
00:19:20,992 --> 00:19:23,026
She stopped
by the church.
470
00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:25,596
She's dropping
Lenny off.
471
00:19:28,399 --> 00:19:30,333
Did you know she
was leaving tonight?
472
00:19:30,401 --> 00:19:33,821
I know she's leaving tonight.
She told me this afternoon.
473
00:19:33,888 --> 00:19:36,690
I'd like to thank you, Laverne,
for making this
474
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:39,760
the most humiliating evening
of my entire life.
475
00:19:39,828 --> 00:19:43,047
Look, when I heard
Anne Marie was coming,
476
00:19:43,114 --> 00:19:44,715
I called up Hector.
477
00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:46,917
It seemed like a natural.
478
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:50,453
Did I know she was
going to become a nun?
479
00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:53,357
Then in all the excitement,
I forgot to call it off.
480
00:19:53,424 --> 00:19:56,793
Things were going
so well up until then.
481
00:20:01,832 --> 00:20:05,202
Does your balloon
ever land, Shirley?
482
00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:09,940
Things were going
crummy up until then.
483
00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:12,075
And you want to
know the truth?
484
00:20:12,143 --> 00:20:14,144
Hector saved your reunion.
485
00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:15,679
At least the people
had a laugh.
486
00:20:15,746 --> 00:20:17,013
Sure, they had a laugh.
487
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:19,749
A guy comes out
in his shorts,
everybody laughs.
488
00:20:19,817 --> 00:20:22,736
That's right,
because it was funny.
489
00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:25,472
Especially those
shorts that he wore.
490
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,307
( giggling )
491
00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:29,777
Did you realize those
were the same shorts
492
00:20:29,844 --> 00:20:31,945
he wore four years ago?
493
00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:35,182
Where he finds shorts with
those little valentines on them,
494
00:20:35,249 --> 00:20:36,884
I'll never know.
495
00:20:36,951 --> 00:20:40,087
And then when my
father chased him into
the bowling alley...
496
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,923
He slid all the way
down alley 12!
497
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,758
Oh, that must have hurt.
498
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:47,527
( both laughing )
499
00:20:47,595 --> 00:20:49,997
Oh, I just feel rotten.
500
00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:51,548
What's the matter?
501
00:20:51,616 --> 00:20:53,750
We were just laughing.
502
00:20:53,818 --> 00:20:58,171
I'm laughing at the same things
I laughed at four years ago.
503
00:20:58,239 --> 00:21:00,090
Yeah, because
they're still funny.
504
00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:01,958
But don't you see,
Laverne?
505
00:21:02,026 --> 00:21:03,727
Compared to Anne Marie,
506
00:21:03,795 --> 00:21:06,630
I haven't grown
one bit as a human.
507
00:21:06,697 --> 00:21:10,366
I mean, she went to Chicago
and became a nun.
508
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,837
I stayed in Milwaukee
and became a bimbo.
509
00:21:15,473 --> 00:21:17,607
You're no bimbo, Shirl.
510
00:21:17,675 --> 00:21:19,843
Compared to her,
I'm a bimbo.
511
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,778
She's a nun!
512
00:21:21,846 --> 00:21:25,248
Compared to her, Eleanor
Roosevelt's a bimbo.
513
00:21:25,316 --> 00:21:26,883
I'm going to tell her
514
00:21:26,951 --> 00:21:28,919
that we're weekend nurses.
515
00:21:30,722 --> 00:21:32,022
Look, Shirl, if you want to be
516
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:33,891
ashamed of yourself,
you go right ahead.
517
00:21:33,958 --> 00:21:35,859
But I'm not going to be
ashamed of myself.
518
00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:38,111
Anne Marie was
just like we used to be.
519
00:21:38,179 --> 00:21:40,413
Worse! She was worse
than we used to be.
520
00:21:40,481 --> 00:21:43,349
But Laverne,
don't you see?
She made up for it.
521
00:21:43,417 --> 00:21:46,920
I mean, dedicating her whole
life to helping others.
522
00:21:48,589 --> 00:21:49,857
Am I interrupting?
523
00:21:49,924 --> 00:21:51,291
Oh, no, no.
Oh, Anne Marie,
524
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,593
I'm so sorry you're
leaving tonight.
Oh...
525
00:21:53,661 --> 00:21:55,929
I feel so terrible
about this evening.
526
00:21:55,997 --> 00:21:58,031
There's no need
to apologize.
527
00:21:58,099 --> 00:22:02,102
People act very strange
when they meet an old
friend who's become a nun.
528
00:22:03,287 --> 00:22:05,855
Anne Marie,
can I ask you something?
529
00:22:05,923 --> 00:22:07,191
Sure.
530
00:22:07,258 --> 00:22:08,458
Why did you do that?
531
00:22:08,526 --> 00:22:10,494
After I graduated
from high school,
532
00:22:10,562 --> 00:22:13,597
I moved to Chicago,
and I got the calling.
533
00:22:15,216 --> 00:22:16,566
Uh...
534
00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:17,934
I'm sorry, girls.
535
00:22:18,002 --> 00:22:19,869
I can't explain it any better.
536
00:22:19,937 --> 00:22:22,572
That's the way it happens.
537
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,343
It was the best way for me
to serve God and people, too.
538
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:29,029
We're weekend nurses.
539
00:22:31,215 --> 00:22:33,083
Uh, I thought you
worked in a brewery.
540
00:22:33,150 --> 00:22:36,219
Yes, yes, I admit it.
We've wasted our lives.
541
00:22:36,287 --> 00:22:39,790
We still laugh at...
at... at Hector's undershorts.
542
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:43,126
Oh, we should have
become nuns.
543
00:22:43,194 --> 00:22:45,629
Hector's undershorts
are funny, Shirley.
544
00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,330
Yeah.
545
00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:51,067
Oh, look, I don't think God
wants everyone to become nuns.
546
00:22:51,135 --> 00:22:53,319
You should be
proud of your work.
547
00:22:53,387 --> 00:22:55,722
I'm not ashamed
of the old days.
548
00:22:55,790 --> 00:22:57,123
Me, neither.
549
00:22:57,191 --> 00:23:00,494
It's just that
being a nun is
what makes me happy.
550
00:23:00,561 --> 00:23:02,762
And everybody
should be happy,
551
00:23:02,830 --> 00:23:03,864
on their own terms.
552
00:23:03,931 --> 00:23:06,566
And everybody should
be nice to each other.
553
00:23:06,634 --> 00:23:07,567
( car horn honks )
554
00:23:07,635 --> 00:23:08,869
Oh, that must be my cab.
555
00:23:08,936 --> 00:23:10,704
I'll be back in town
on Thanksgiving.
Oh...
556
00:23:10,772 --> 00:23:12,039
And I'll see you then?
Okay.
557
00:23:12,106 --> 00:23:13,339
Okay.
Yes.
558
00:23:14,475 --> 00:23:15,842
Well...
559
00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:16,977
good-bye.
560
00:23:17,045 --> 00:23:18,344
Can we hug you?
561
00:23:18,412 --> 00:23:21,048
You bet your buns,
you can.
562
00:23:33,077 --> 00:23:34,311
You know, Laverne,
563
00:23:34,378 --> 00:23:36,212
we should remember
what Anne Marie said
564
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,714
about being nice
to each other.
565
00:23:37,782 --> 00:23:40,317
Yeah. Shirl?
566
00:23:40,384 --> 00:23:42,920
I'm sorry I said
your reunions stink.
567
00:23:42,987 --> 00:23:45,255
You're a good person,
Laverne.
568
00:23:45,323 --> 00:23:46,406
Thanks.
569
00:23:46,474 --> 00:23:48,775
And next year I won't
give you a hard time,
570
00:23:48,842 --> 00:23:50,510
and I'll be there with you.
571
00:23:50,578 --> 00:23:51,762
Great!
572
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:55,198
I've got a lot of good ideas
about next year's reunion.
573
00:23:55,266 --> 00:23:57,067
I'm going to do
a daisy theme.
574
00:23:57,134 --> 00:23:58,469
No more carnations.
575
00:23:58,536 --> 00:24:00,236
I've got all this
yellow tissue paper
576
00:24:00,304 --> 00:24:02,305
I've been saving up
off of clothes hangars
577
00:24:02,373 --> 00:24:03,807
in my bedroom.
Come on!
578
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:05,042
If we start now,
579
00:24:05,109 --> 00:24:07,811
by June we can have
a thousand of 'em.
580
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:12,933
Boy, being a good person
is not easy.
581
00:24:13,001 --> 00:24:14,601
Daisies!
582
00:24:16,237 --> 00:24:18,071
To be a good person,
583
00:24:18,139 --> 00:24:20,507
to not be a good person...
584
00:24:20,574 --> 00:24:22,342
to be a good person,
585
00:24:22,410 --> 00:24:24,611
to be a bad person...
586
00:24:24,678 --> 00:24:27,831
to be a good person...
587
00:24:30,818 --> 00:24:34,687
( theme music plays )
588
00:24:34,755 --> 00:24:36,322
¶ We're gonna do it
589
00:24:36,390 --> 00:24:39,860
¶ On your mark,
get set and go now ¶
590
00:24:39,927 --> 00:24:42,696
¶ Got a dream,
and we just know now ¶
591
00:24:42,764 --> 00:24:46,917
¶ We're gonna make
that dream come true ¶
592
00:24:46,984 --> 00:24:50,620
¶ And we'll do it
our way, yes, our way ¶
593
00:24:50,688 --> 00:24:55,859
¶ Make all
our dreams come true ¶
594
00:24:55,926 --> 00:25:00,997
¶ For me and you.
47375
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