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1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:02,784
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
2
00:00:02,853 --> 00:00:04,419
♪ Five, six, seven, eight ♪
3
00:00:04,488 --> 00:00:06,421
♪ Schlemiel, Schlimazel ♪
4
00:00:06,490 --> 00:00:08,707
♪ Hasenpfeffer, Incorporated ♪
5
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,260
♪ We're gonna do it ♪
6
00:00:11,328 --> 00:00:14,413
♪ Give us any
chance, we'll take it ♪
7
00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:17,482
♪ Read us any
rule, we'll break it ♪
8
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,169
♪ We're gonna make
our dreams come true ♪
9
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,571
♪ Doing it our way ♪
10
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,891
♪ Nothing's gonna
turn us back now ♪
11
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,895
♪ Straight ahead
and on the track now ♪
12
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:33,164
♪ We're gonna make
our dreams come true ♪
13
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:35,267
♪ Doing it our way ♪
14
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:38,070
♪ There is nothing
we won't try ♪
15
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:40,405
♪ Never heard the
word "impossible" ♪
16
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:45,093
♪ This time, there's
no stopping us ♪
17
00:00:45,162 --> 00:00:47,345
♪ We're gonna do it ♪
18
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,175
♪ On your mark,
get set and go now ♪
19
00:00:49,199 --> 00:00:52,667
♪ Got a dream, and
we just know now ♪
20
00:00:52,736 --> 00:00:56,738
♪ We're gonna make
that dream come true ♪
21
00:00:56,807 --> 00:01:00,926
♪ And we'll do it our
way, yes, our way ♪
22
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:02,739
♪ Make all our
dreams come true ♪
23
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:06,698
♪ And we'll do it our
way, yes, our way ♪
24
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:11,369
♪ Make all our
dreams come true ♪
25
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:16,792
♪ For me and you. ♪
26
00:01:18,762 --> 00:01:21,763
Laverne and Shirley is filmed
before a studio audience.
27
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,782
( factory horn blows)
28
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,718
Come on, get on there.
29
00:01:28,872 --> 00:01:30,200
Laverne... Huh?
30
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,952
Did you hear what
happened in bottle capping?
31
00:01:31,976 --> 00:01:32,908
It was terrible.
32
00:01:32,977 --> 00:01:33,775
What happened?
33
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,310
It was just terrible.
34
00:01:35,379 --> 00:01:38,330
I was there, I saw
the whole thing.
35
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,933
What? What was terrible?
36
00:01:40,985 --> 00:01:42,884
I don't want to talk about it.
37
00:01:42,953 --> 00:01:44,386
Okay, forget about it.
38
00:01:44,455 --> 00:01:47,522
All right, I'll tell you.
39
00:01:47,591 --> 00:01:49,757
They speeded up
the conveyor belt;
40
00:01:49,826 --> 00:01:52,394
Waldo couldn't keep
up with the bottles.
41
00:01:52,463 --> 00:01:55,780
He got a little confused
and capped his thumb.
42
00:01:57,768 --> 00:01:59,083
Was he hurt?
43
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:01,069
No, thank goodness.
44
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:04,156
But do you know how they
got that bottle cap off his thumb?
45
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,208
A bottle opener?
46
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:08,810
You heard this story.
47
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,239
I'm standing here like a fool
48
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,347
telling you the story
you've already heard.
49
00:02:12,415 --> 00:02:15,116
A guess, Shirl, a lucky guess.
50
00:02:16,253 --> 00:02:18,119
Well, I got one on at least.
51
00:02:18,188 --> 00:02:20,855
Headed for the prom, Laverne?
52
00:02:20,924 --> 00:02:23,391
No, I happen to be
having lunch with Charles.
53
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:25,944
He takes me to
false-eyelash-type places.
54
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:29,514
Oh. Charles.
55
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:30,983
"Oh, Charles."
56
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:33,051
What do you say
it like that for, Shirl?
57
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,519
I can't help myself.
58
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,967
There's something about
him I don't like. What?
59
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,068
I don't trust a guy
who wears a pinky ring.
60
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,326
Well, I don't care.
I like Charles.
61
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:44,329
He's a good-looker.
He's got a new T-Bird,
62
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:46,242
and, for the two weeks
we've been going out,
63
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,532
he's been a perfect gentleman.
64
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:50,235
Well, he makes me nervous.
65
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,404
What does he do
for a living anyway?
66
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,913
I think he's some
kind of businessman.
67
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,109
You've been going out
with this guy for two weeks,
68
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,277
and you don't know
what he does for a living?
69
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,157
I mean, how does he
make all this money
70
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,125
that he takes you
to fancy places with?
71
00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:05,717
What, are you the
Internal Revenue, Shirl?
72
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,286
Look, I happen to...
73
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,288
Uh-oh, here he is.
Now be nice to him Shirl.
74
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,605
He thinks you don't like him.
75
00:03:10,673 --> 00:03:11,673
I don't.
76
00:03:11,709 --> 00:03:13,342
Especially when
he taps that ring.
77
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,710
Laverne. Shirley.
78
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,272
Hello, Charles. (
factory whistle blows)
79
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,229
( forced): Hello, Charles.
80
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:21,200
Listen, Laverne, I
feel like a real heel,
81
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:24,803
but something's come up,
and I can't take you to lunch.
82
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,638
Something the matter?
83
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,139
Well, yes and no.
84
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,442
My cousin just
phoned; he's in town.
85
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:33,812
And I'm just on my way out
to the airport to pick him up.
86
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,263
( ring tapping)
87
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:42,604
Anyhow, my cousin's
name is Buck.
88
00:03:42,673 --> 00:03:44,423
He's from Arizona.
89
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:47,959
And I know he's going to want
me to set him up with a nice girl
90
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,361
while he's in town...
91
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:53,297
you know, so we can double date.
92
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:55,700
( ring tapping)
93
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,619
Does your cousin wear a ring?
94
00:03:57,688 --> 00:03:59,771
No. I'm afraid he's
nothing like me.
95
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:00,939
He's a cowboy.
96
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,287
Oh, a cowboy.
97
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,303
Shirl loves cowboy movies.
98
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:05,860
That was when I was a kid.
99
00:04:05,929 --> 00:04:08,463
She's still a kid at
heart. Don't worry.
100
00:04:08,532 --> 00:04:10,782
Great. We'll pick
you up tonight at 8:00.
101
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,585
We'll go anyplace
you girls want to go.
102
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,520
The sky is the limit.
103
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,522
Oh, I can stay in that limit.
104
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,723
Great. Then it's set.
105
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,792
See ya tonight.
106
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,394
Good-bye, Charles.
107
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,328
Hey, Laverne, I love your eye.
108
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,031
You're a real trendsetter.
109
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,100
( taps ring)
110
00:04:30,253 --> 00:04:32,387
What's with him and my eye?
111
00:04:32,456 --> 00:04:34,556
You got one eyelash on, Laverne.
112
00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,505
You look like the
jack of spades.
113
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,944
Well, why didn't you tell me
114
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,957
instead of letting me
make a fool out of myself?
115
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,515
When? While you were setting
me up with Cousin Hopalong?
116
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:49,087
Shirl, did I or did I
not do you a favor
117
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:52,624
by going out with your
cousin Benjy the welder?
118
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,793
The one who, among other things,
119
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,929
tried to solder my
earrings together?
120
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,842
Now, Laverne, that is not fair.
121
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,678
You swore to me you'd
never bring that up again,
122
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:02,946
and now you're bringing it up.
123
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,246
Well, I won't
bring it up anymore
124
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:06,638
if you do me a favor and
go out with the cowboy.
125
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,506
Come on. You owe me one, Shirl.
126
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:12,744
All right. I'll make
Hoppy happy.
127
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,764
Come on, who knows? A cowboy.
128
00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:17,999
Maybe he'll look
like Gary Cooper.
129
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:21,285
Ha! With my luck, he'll
look like Gabby Hayes.
130
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:30,278
Oh, Shirl, they're
here. Haul it out.
131
00:05:32,983 --> 00:05:34,349
All right, I'm ready.
132
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:35,650
But I warn you,
133
00:05:35,718 --> 00:05:37,985
if I hear spurs
jangling in that hallway,
134
00:05:38,055 --> 00:05:40,266
I'm taking a pass on
this whole evening.
135
00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:42,290
Come on, Shirl, be nice.
136
00:05:42,359 --> 00:05:44,459
( rapping on door)
137
00:05:44,528 --> 00:05:47,895
He's knocking
with his pinky ring.
138
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,397
Just open the door.
139
00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:52,934
Who is it?
140
00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:55,771
It's us... your dreamboats.
141
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:00,608
Hello.
142
00:06:00,677 --> 00:06:02,388
Laverne and Shirley,
I'd like you to meet
143
00:06:02,412 --> 00:06:05,229
my cousin, Buck
Wilson, and his suitcase.
144
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:08,127
You said you wouldn't mention
nothing about my suitcase.
145
00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:12,304
Oh, we would've
noticed it after a while.
146
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,406
I like your suitcase.
147
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:17,141
Why don't you just come on in?
148
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,105
He carries it with
him wherever he goes.
149
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,495
He's afraid some
big city slicker
150
00:06:20,564 --> 00:06:22,798
is going to run off
with his branding iron.
151
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:24,415
BUCK: I ain't got
no branding iron;
152
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,067
these is my private things.
153
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,853
Why don't we just
mosey on down to the sofa
154
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,955
and sit ourselves a spell?
155
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,091
Mosey, mosey.
156
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,295
Buck's a little nervous.
157
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,542
He was afraid he wouldn't
have anything to talk about.
158
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,144
Oh... Oh, that's so silly.
159
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,745
Yeah. Look, I'll start.
160
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:45,636
So, Buck, you're
from Arizona, huh?
161
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,989
Yes, ma'am.
162
00:06:48,057 --> 00:06:49,157
( tapping ring)
163
00:06:49,226 --> 00:06:50,506
Stop it!
164
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,598
Want a shot of red-eye
165
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,512
to clear the trail dust
out of your throat?
166
00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:01,119
I don't drink.
167
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,265
He don't drink or smoke,
168
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,167
but he's a real interesting guy.
169
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,035
You know, he writes poetry.
170
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,693
Really? You write poetry?
171
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,178
Yes, ma'am.
172
00:07:10,246 --> 00:07:11,946
I wrote a poem
when I left Arizona.
173
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,409
You want to hear it? Yes.
174
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:17,652
"I cried and cried
when I left Phoenix.
175
00:07:17,721 --> 00:07:20,438
So hard I used a
box of 'Kleenix.'"
176
00:07:26,396 --> 00:07:29,147
"Kleenix?"
177
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,917
I think that's very imaginative.
178
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,968
I like poetry.
179
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:37,572
Well, sweetie, what are
you girls up for tonight?
180
00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:40,108
Well, we thought we'd
like to have some dinner
181
00:07:40,177 --> 00:07:41,609
and then maybe take in a flick.
182
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:44,179
How about The Wild One?
183
00:07:44,247 --> 00:07:46,581
Oh, uh, violence
184
00:07:46,649 --> 00:07:48,711
makes Buck a little queasy.
185
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,235
No.
186
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,071
No, we wouldn't think
of doing that to a poet.
187
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,468
This is Buck's first
evening in town,
188
00:07:55,492 --> 00:07:57,637
and we're here to entertain you.
189
00:07:57,661 --> 00:08:00,712
Now, what do you want
to do? You just name it.
190
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,548
Well, there is just
one thing I'd like to do
191
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,266
that'd really make my evening.
192
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:06,701
What is it?
193
00:08:06,770 --> 00:08:08,036
Bowling.
194
00:08:08,105 --> 00:08:09,387
( chuckles)
195
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:10,566
Bowling?
196
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,073
You never heard of it?
197
00:08:12,141 --> 00:08:13,886
Of course I heard of it.
198
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,843
I was born bowling.
199
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,680
Laverne's father runs the
bowling and pizza place
200
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:19,848
down at the corner.
201
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:23,051
Well, I'd like to go
bowling with you.
202
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,835
Great. Let's cut out.
203
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,171
Uh, hang on.
204
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,750
Uh, will there be
a lot of folks there?
205
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,418
Oh, sure. Well, I ain't going.
206
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,458
What did I say?
207
00:08:30,527 --> 00:08:32,460
What's the matter, Buck?
208
00:08:32,528 --> 00:08:34,261
Well, I ain't never
bowled before,
209
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,430
and I ain't going out there
and make a fool of myself
210
00:08:36,499 --> 00:08:37,882
in front of a
bunch of strangers.
211
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,795
Oh, Shirley does
it all the time.
212
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,152
She stinks at bowling.
213
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,738
That's right. I...
214
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:49,077
Well, there is one
thing we could do.
215
00:08:49,145 --> 00:08:51,323
No, that'd be asking too much.
216
00:08:51,347 --> 00:08:52,948
Ask.
217
00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:55,194
Well, since your
father runs the place,
218
00:08:55,218 --> 00:08:57,647
maybe we could bowl a
game or two after he closes.
219
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,871
Hey, I'd like that. That's
a good idea, Charles.
220
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,300
Well, all right, you got
it. All right with you, Shirl?
221
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,343
Sure.
222
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,527
Then it's settled.
223
00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:07,139
We go out for a nice
dinner, and then bowling.
224
00:09:07,163 --> 00:09:08,274
We'll go get the car. Yeah.
225
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,526
Okay, we'll be right out.
226
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,067
Huh? Huh?
227
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,468
( laughs): Oh.
228
00:09:13,536 --> 00:09:15,314
Buck's pretty cute, huh?
229
00:09:15,338 --> 00:09:16,838
A real winner, Shirl.
230
00:09:16,907 --> 00:09:19,841
I must admit, I'm
pleasantly surprised.
231
00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:21,420
Well, I hope you don't clam up
232
00:09:21,444 --> 00:09:22,888
when you get with him alone.
233
00:09:22,912 --> 00:09:27,115
I'll be as loose as I
ever am on a first date...
234
00:09:27,184 --> 00:09:31,051
A little of this, a little
of that, but no petting.
235
00:09:33,857 --> 00:09:35,567
Couldn't you do a
little more of that?
236
00:09:35,591 --> 00:09:38,026
I mean, he came all the
way in from Arizona, Shirl.
237
00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:41,162
I do not change
my first date rules
238
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:43,397
for out-of-towners, Laverne.
239
00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:46,433
I ain't no Welcome
Wagon, partner.
240
00:09:52,575 --> 00:09:54,976
Aw, you missed the turn.
241
00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:56,322
I most certainly did not.
242
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,847
Oh, yeah? Then how
come you just hit a cow?
243
00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:00,059
That was no cow.
244
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,494
That was only a school bus.
245
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,084
Only a school bus?
246
00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:04,352
That's ten points off.
247
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:06,087
Some dinner.
248
00:10:06,156 --> 00:10:08,823
Hi, ladies.
249
00:10:08,892 --> 00:10:12,027
Dessert on fire?
I'll tell you... Hi, Pop.
250
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:13,261
Hi, sweetheart.
251
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:14,262
You know Charles.
252
00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:16,197
This is his cousin Buck.
253
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,199
Is this the guy who's
ashamed to bowl in public?
254
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:22,403
He's a very sensitive
individual, Mr. DeFazio.
255
00:10:22,472 --> 00:10:24,705
Please don't embarrass
me. Just close up.
256
00:10:24,774 --> 00:10:25,940
All right, all right.
257
00:10:26,008 --> 00:10:27,975
( shouting): All
right, everybody out!
258
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,344
Closing time!
259
00:10:29,412 --> 00:10:31,056
Closing time, pal. Closing time.
260
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,513
Good-bye.
261
00:10:32,582 --> 00:10:36,034
My father built his
business on his charm.
262
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,302
Out, out, follow the
thumb, thumb here.
263
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,938
Here, here, let's go.
264
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,250
Out, this way.
265
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,808
Everybody, move, move!
266
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,154
You want to show me the alley?
267
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,962
Oh, yes, I'd love to.
268
00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:50,264
You're going to just
love bowling, Buck.
269
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:54,218
I want you to think of the ball
as a very heavy tumbleweed.
270
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:58,023
Don't worry, Pop.
Everything will be all right.
271
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,357
I hope so.
272
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,092
I'm going to lock the
door when I go out.
273
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,871
You're going to lose,
you're going to lose.
274
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,640
I know more about
driving than you do.
275
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,476
I got more tickets
and everything.
276
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,865
Laverne.
277
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:11,536
Laverne, throw these bums
out of here for me, huh?
278
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:14,088
I just washed my hands.
279
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,942
Your dad's right.
These guys better leave.
280
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,428
Buck really doesn't want
anyone watching him bowl.
281
00:11:20,496 --> 00:11:22,764
All right.
282
00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:24,992
Come on, guys, we're
closing. Get out of here.
283
00:11:25,035 --> 00:11:27,346
Oh, come on, I only got one
more mile on the machine.
284
00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:29,048
No, I think we're
gonna win a free ride.
285
00:11:29,072 --> 00:11:30,672
I'll give you a free ride.
286
00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:31,940
Come on, come on.
287
00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:33,318
Hey! What's the matter?
288
00:11:33,342 --> 00:11:34,842
They're not hurting anybody.
289
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,622
Yeah, we weren't hurting nobody.
290
00:11:36,646 --> 00:11:38,357
That school bus was painted on.
291
00:11:38,381 --> 00:11:40,181
Well, they're not
supposed to be here.
292
00:11:40,249 --> 00:11:41,916
Hey, what's the
matter? Are you all right?
293
00:11:41,985 --> 00:11:43,465
Maybe we ought to
go home. Let's go...
294
00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:44,830
No, no, I'm fine,
I'm fine. I'm sorry.
295
00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:45,854
You better be sorry!
296
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:46,905
Squiggy!
297
00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:54,462
Look, they're my friends.
298
00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:58,032
I'm not proud of it,
but... they are my friends.
299
00:11:58,101 --> 00:11:59,912
You're right. It's okay,
guys, you can stay.
300
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:02,253
Why don't you go
on into the alley?
301
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:05,390
We're going to drive
this into the alley.
302
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,791
It's a toy!
303
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,028
Would you just finish
up and get out of here?
304
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,897
( murmuring)
305
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,044
I'll get you an after-
dinner beer, Charles.
306
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,500
Okay.
307
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,801
Hey, Buck.
308
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,272
I loved cowboy movies
when I was a kid,
309
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,107
and now I know why.
310
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,286
Sure enough?
311
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,555
Yeah, Charles, what is it?
312
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:28,679
Buck, I think it's time
to go to the bathroom.
313
00:12:32,202 --> 00:12:34,352
What about them?
314
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,704
Uh, no, thanks, we just went.
315
00:12:40,743 --> 00:12:41,676
They're okay.
316
00:12:41,744 --> 00:12:44,112
Go to the bathroom.
317
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:47,448
Excuse me. I have
to go to the bathroom.
318
00:12:48,451 --> 00:12:50,268
I know. I heard.
319
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,386
LAVERNE: Here's
your beer, Charles.
320
00:12:52,455 --> 00:12:53,621
Thanks.
321
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,990
So, how's it going?
322
00:12:56,059 --> 00:12:59,327
Well, Buck and I are
getting a lot friendlier.
323
00:12:59,396 --> 00:13:03,347
I sure would like to know what
he has in that suitcase of his.
324
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,151
Beer, Buck?
325
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,736
( explosion)
326
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,724
Boy, he had to go bad.
327
00:13:20,483 --> 00:13:22,061
What was that? What happened?
328
00:13:22,085 --> 00:13:23,196
What happened here?
329
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,518
This is a holdup.
330
00:13:24,587 --> 00:13:27,107
You're robbing the bathroom?
331
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:30,658
No, we just blew our way
into the bank next door.
332
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:34,662
Ha! Now I know what
he had in that suitcase.
333
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,498
He had dynamite
in that suitcase!
334
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,378
Now guess what
I got in this gun.
335
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:40,467
( gasps)
336
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:44,755
It's bullets.
337
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,413
This is a holdup.
338
00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:54,760
Keep your hands up, and no
one gets hurt. Come on. Come on
339
00:13:54,784 --> 00:13:56,262
Now, remember you
promised that, okay?
340
00:13:56,286 --> 00:13:58,463
Don't worry. The police must
have heard that explosion.
341
00:13:58,487 --> 00:13:59,698
We have it all figured.
342
00:13:59,722 --> 00:14:01,667
It takes the cops two
minutes to get here.
343
00:14:01,691 --> 00:14:03,368
You two idiots,
get in the bathroom
344
00:14:03,392 --> 00:14:05,421
and help Buck load
up the money, come on.
345
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,922
Yes, sir, you're the gangster.
346
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,280
Don't be scared.
347
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,783
Well, now I know what
Charles does for a living.
348
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,063
Come on, put your hands down.
349
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,319
Don't be upset, Laverne.
350
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,133
We're not here to hurt.
We are here to steal.
351
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:20,524
Boy, are you a big
disappointment, Charles.
352
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,928
I even had you penciled in
as my New Year's Eve date.
353
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,164
You are a very rude man.
354
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,044
Oh, come on, girls,
don't take it personal.
355
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,000
It's just business.
356
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,546
Besides, we had some good times.
357
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,820
Not enough for this.
358
00:14:32,888 --> 00:14:35,490
I'm sorry I got
you into this, Shirl.
359
00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:37,358
It's okay.
360
00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,760
Boy, this definitely
rules out petting.
361
00:14:39,829 --> 00:14:42,130
CHARLES: Come on,
Buck, we're running late!
362
00:14:42,198 --> 00:14:43,931
Okay, everybody on the floor!
363
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,467
Oh, no. Not on a
first date, I don't.
364
00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:47,535
Get down there.
365
00:14:47,604 --> 00:14:49,369
Come on. On the
floor, on the floor.
366
00:14:49,438 --> 00:14:50,304
Wait a second.
367
00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:51,572
This is my best outfit.
368
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,925
Do you know how hard
it's gonna be to clean?
369
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:56,261
You know how hard it
is to get bloodstains out?
370
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,129
Everybody get on the floor!
371
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,864
Get on the floor.
372
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,465
Now wait a minute,
wait a minute.
373
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:02,700
I don't lie next to him.
374
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:04,080
What difference does it make?
375
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:07,038
( all talking over each other)
376
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,405
Okay. All right.
377
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,208
Boy, girl, boy, girl.
378
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:14,612
( all clamoring)
379
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:19,016
Buck, we've got half a minute.
380
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,095
Let's get out of here.
381
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,051
You stay put!
382
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,954
I think I got a plan.
383
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,335
We give them both a judo
chop, and we get their guns.
384
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,969
Then we make them
give us the money.
385
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,104
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
386
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:30,739
Let's make them
give us the money first,
387
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,057
and then we can
buy our own guns.
388
00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:35,049
Do you guys ever
listen to yourselves talk?
389
00:15:35,118 --> 00:15:37,051
They're gone already anyway.
390
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,098
Oh, no, they're not.
I just remembered,
391
00:15:39,122 --> 00:15:41,255
my father locked the
door from the outside.
392
00:15:41,323 --> 00:15:42,434
That's a better plan.
393
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:45,792
Laverne, sweetie,
the door doesn't open.
394
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,628
Where's the keys?
395
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,263
Why should I tell you?
396
00:15:49,332 --> 00:15:51,043
MAN ( over bullhorn):
All right, in there.
397
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:51,999
This is the police.
398
00:15:52,068 --> 00:15:53,334
The place is surrounded.
399
00:15:53,403 --> 00:15:54,768
Come out with your hands up.
400
00:15:54,837 --> 00:15:56,715
Now what are we
going to do, Charles?
401
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:58,206
You said we had two minutes.
402
00:15:58,274 --> 00:16:01,794
Well, they came a few
seconds early. So kill me.
403
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,394
You idiot!
404
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,673
It's an expression.
405
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,609
Calm down. I'll
figure something out.
406
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,683
You'd better. I'll
go watch the back.
407
00:16:08,751 --> 00:16:10,551
See? I told you the
police would get here.
408
00:16:10,619 --> 00:16:12,264
All right, okay, all right...
409
00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:16,857
Ha, ha! Okay, Charlie,
so the gig is up.
410
00:16:16,926 --> 00:16:19,077
Those coppers won't be satisfied
411
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,811
until they see your guts
412
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,147
splattered all
over the pavement.
413
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,850
You may as well
give yourselves up.
414
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,118
I don't have to.
415
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:29,436
I got hostages.
416
00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:30,989
Right.
417
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,541
You had to bring
up splattering guts.
418
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,545
CHARLES: Okay, coppers,
we got hostages in here...
419
00:16:37,614 --> 00:16:41,382
Two defenseless
girls and two... wimps.
420
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,270
You got 15 minutes to
bring us an armored truck
421
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,422
to take us across
the border to Canada.
422
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:51,125
If it's not here, we start
tossing out hostages...
423
00:16:51,194 --> 00:16:52,626
One every five minutes...
424
00:16:52,695 --> 00:16:54,673
And they're not
going to be breathing.
425
00:16:54,697 --> 00:16:57,898
Oh, yeah? They'll
have to kill me first.
426
00:17:00,403 --> 00:17:03,003
That's what they
had in mind, stupid.
427
00:17:03,072 --> 00:17:06,206
They're going to kill
us, Shirl... as in dead.
428
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:09,076
Oh, we're too young to die.
429
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:18,235
( whistling)
430
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,175
( whistling)
431
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:29,313
Uh, we were just leaving.
432
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,182
Uh, I have this very important
433
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,584
Army Reserve
meeting I must attend.
434
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,720
Oh, nuts, oh, nuts,
I just remembered,
435
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:40,090
I told my mother I'd be
home by midnight for dinner.
436
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:42,337
Uh, well, I'd better be going.
437
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:43,505
Uh, good-bye, everybody.
438
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:44,461
So long, hostages.
439
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:45,780
I can give you a lift.
440
00:17:45,849 --> 00:17:46,964
I'm going your way.
441
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,499
Let's go, let's go.
442
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,601
You guys are making me nervous.
443
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:51,669
Get in the bathroom.
444
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:52,848
The ladies' room?
445
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,038
Yeah.
446
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,206
Psst!
447
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,640
Excuse me. Excuse me.
448
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:57,909
I have a question.
449
00:17:59,862 --> 00:18:01,807
Who are you
going to shoot first?
450
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:02,763
I don't know.
451
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,432
Well, I'll give you a buck
452
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,200
if you shoot him before me.
453
00:18:06,268 --> 00:18:07,435
Get in there!
454
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,150
Now, you ladies
stand right there,
455
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,774
and don't try anything silly.
456
00:18:17,046 --> 00:18:19,086
Okay, coppers, your
time is running out!
457
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,427
You got two minutes before
we heave out the first body!
458
00:18:21,451 --> 00:18:23,584
CHARLES: What do you say?
459
00:18:23,653 --> 00:18:25,063
POLICEMAN: We don't make deals!
460
00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:26,532
BUCK: Let me go
get one of the clowns.
461
00:18:26,556 --> 00:18:28,188
CHARLES: Wait a
minute. Are you kidding?
462
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:30,991
If we kill one of those
guys, the cops will applaud.
463
00:18:33,595 --> 00:18:35,073
It's got to be one of the girls.
464
00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:37,243
Check. I'll watch out back.
465
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:39,145
Right. The first one
goes out in two minutes.
466
00:18:39,169 --> 00:18:42,403
Oh... Oh... Oh...
oh... two minutes!
467
00:18:42,472 --> 00:18:43,752
I got two minutes to live!
468
00:18:43,806 --> 00:18:44,738
Calm down, Shirl.
469
00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:46,852
I'm going to die
like Tom Dooley!
470
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,520
Get a grip I'm going
of yourself. to die!
471
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,477
Oh!
472
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,212
Oh, I'm very calm now.
473
00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:55,883
That smarts!
474
00:18:57,170 --> 00:19:00,004
It hurts so bad... ( sobbing)
475
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:03,374
Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't cry.
476
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,719
You had to hit me.
477
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:05,887
You had to.
478
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,978
I'm not crying about that.
479
00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:11,081
I'm just thinking of all the
things in life that I missed...
480
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,850
All the things we
should have done.
481
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:17,621
You know, Shirl, I
never even had a facial.
482
00:19:19,775 --> 00:19:21,725
I never even had a baby.
483
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,561
Oh, that would
have been nice, Shirl.
484
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,763
But you know what we
really should have done?
485
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:27,965
What?
486
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,967
I mean, once in our
lives, we should have...
487
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,385
vo-de-o-do-doed.
488
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:34,922
You mean, done the deed?
489
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:39,993
If we die now, we
saved it for nothing.
490
00:19:41,731 --> 00:19:43,664
It wasn't for nothing, Laverne.
491
00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:44,966
And it's too late anyway.
492
00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:46,666
We still got two minutes.
493
00:19:48,237 --> 00:19:49,381
With those crooks?!
494
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:51,845
I wouldn't give
them the satisfaction!
495
00:19:51,874 --> 00:19:54,275
No, not them. Lenny and Squiggy.
496
00:19:57,379 --> 00:19:58,979
You crazy, Laverne?
497
00:19:59,048 --> 00:20:00,759
Well, these are
desperate hours, Shirl.
498
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,928
I'm sorry, I don't know
what I'm talking about.
499
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:06,337
I don't think I want
to go through eternity
500
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,183
linked with Lenny and Squiggy.
501
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,619
Besides, if it's
gonna be anyone,
502
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,754
it's gonna be Carmine Ragusa.
503
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,856
He's waited so patiently.
504
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,598
FRANK ( over bullhorn):
Laverne! Laverne, are you there?
505
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,363
What is this, you got
your own private cop?
506
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,786
No, it's my father.
507
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,733
Go ahead and answer
him from right here.
508
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,557
It's me, Pop!
509
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:29,104
FRANK: Are you and
Shirley okay, Muffin?
510
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,629
Yeah, we're fine.
We're just scared.
511
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,264
Well, don't worry.
512
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,132
You'll be all right.
513
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:37,635
They blew up your bathroom.
514
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,470
I don't care.
515
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,038
I'm just worried about you.
516
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,140
( sobbing) Thanks, Pop.
517
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:46,510
Was it the men's room
or the ladies' room?
518
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,012
It was the men's room.
519
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,481
Figures.
520
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:52,127
I just put in new towels.
521
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:53,884
Okay, that's enough.
522
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,620
That's enough, Pop.
523
00:20:55,688 --> 00:21:00,157
What a sweet and sentimental
way to say good-bye.
524
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:04,161
Well, I'm not ready yet.
525
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,442
I'm not ready to die yet, Shirl.
526
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:07,965
What are you gonna
to do, Laverne?
527
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,184
Whatever I have to.
528
00:21:10,252 --> 00:21:11,652
Oh, no! No!
529
00:21:11,721 --> 00:21:13,287
Good-bye, Shirl.
530
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,689
Good-bye, Vernie.
531
00:21:14,757 --> 00:21:18,091
Oh... ( Shirley crying)
532
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,160
Oh, Charles...
533
00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:26,751
I really hate to see
you leaving so soon.
534
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,252
Yeah? How come?
535
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,088
Well, in all this excitement,
536
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:32,823
I sort of got turned on.
537
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,125
Yeah? I mean...
538
00:21:34,193 --> 00:21:36,271
I wouldn't mind going
to Canada with you.
539
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,539
Can I be your gun moll?
540
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,396
You're my kind of girl, Laverne.
541
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:40,475
Thanks.
542
00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:43,250
You know, when
I was a little girl,
543
00:21:43,319 --> 00:21:45,497
my idol was a French lady.
544
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:46,786
Who?
545
00:21:46,855 --> 00:21:48,588
The Statue of Liberty.
546
00:21:48,657 --> 00:21:50,902
I don't know. I guess...
547
00:21:50,926 --> 00:21:52,704
I don't know, she
looked so elegant
548
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,072
with her torch up in one hand
549
00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:55,774
and little ring
binder in the other,
550
00:21:55,798 --> 00:21:59,333
you know, saying, "Give
me your tired, your hungry,
551
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:00,334
your gun!"
552
00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:01,335
Ohhh!
553
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:02,336
( Shirley screaming)
554
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,353
Help, police!
555
00:22:03,422 --> 00:22:04,883
Both hands out. Don't move.
556
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:05,856
What's going on?
557
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:09,443
Nobody move, this is a stickup.
558
00:22:09,512 --> 00:22:12,245
All right, everybody, freeze!
559
00:22:14,349 --> 00:22:16,784
I never saw such
scuzzy-looking hoods.
560
00:22:16,852 --> 00:22:19,286
No, no. They're just scuzzy.
561
00:22:19,354 --> 00:22:20,854
They're the hoods.
562
00:22:24,159 --> 00:22:26,137
Trying to be tricky, huh?
563
00:22:26,161 --> 00:22:28,028
Charles, this is all your fault.
564
00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:29,530
He's not even my cousin.
565
00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:31,898
I met him at a dirty-book store.
566
00:22:31,967 --> 00:22:32,899
Stop whining.
567
00:22:32,968 --> 00:22:34,379
Now you'll have plenty of time
568
00:22:34,403 --> 00:22:35,802
to write that stupid poetry.
569
00:22:37,707 --> 00:22:38,939
Well, good night, ladies.
570
00:22:39,007 --> 00:22:40,674
It was a lovely evening.
571
00:22:43,011 --> 00:22:45,479
Laverne... He paid for dinner.
572
00:22:47,082 --> 00:22:48,181
Good-bye, Charles.
573
00:22:48,251 --> 00:22:50,684
I'll call you in,
uh, eight to ten.
574
00:22:52,555 --> 00:22:56,256
You know, "Phoenix"
and "Kleenix" don't rhyme.
575
00:23:06,168 --> 00:23:08,146
Ah, Squiggy, crime
doesn't pay, huh?
576
00:23:08,170 --> 00:23:09,603
Not the way they do it.
577
00:23:09,672 --> 00:23:11,371
Hey.
578
00:23:11,441 --> 00:23:13,886
SQUIGGY: Well, at least we got
to see the inside of a ladies' room.
579
00:23:13,910 --> 00:23:17,277
( sighing with relief)
580
00:23:17,346 --> 00:23:21,181
Well, all I have
to say is we did it.
581
00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:23,366
We didn't die.
582
00:23:23,435 --> 00:23:24,585
We're alive!
583
00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:26,787
( yelling)
584
00:23:26,856 --> 00:23:28,500
You all right? You all right?
585
00:23:28,524 --> 00:23:29,457
Oh, yeah!
586
00:23:29,525 --> 00:23:31,303
Aw! Oh, boy, you okay? Didn't...
587
00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:33,138
Everything's good.
Oh, wonderful.
588
00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:34,372
They didn't hurt us. Oh, boy.
589
00:23:34,396 --> 00:23:36,541
I'm going upstairs.
I got to lie down.
590
00:23:36,565 --> 00:23:39,010
Don't you want to see
your bathroom, Pop?
591
00:23:39,034 --> 00:23:42,486
I did. It's out on the street.
592
00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:45,956
I'll turn out the lights.
593
00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:49,359
Aah, well, I got to go
home and lie down myself.
594
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:51,127
You see, Shirl?
595
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:54,464
You got to live each
moment like it was your last.
596
00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:59,303
From now on, I'm doing
everything I ever wanted to do.
597
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:01,038
Everything?
598
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:02,822
That's right.
599
00:24:02,891 --> 00:24:06,226
Tomorrow, Laverne
DeFazio starts living.
600
00:24:06,295 --> 00:24:08,495
You know, I realize
you've been through
601
00:24:08,564 --> 00:24:10,764
a terrible ordeal
here tonight, Laverne,
602
00:24:10,833 --> 00:24:14,534
but that's no reason to give up
a lifetime of morals and ethics.
603
00:24:14,603 --> 00:24:16,370
I made up my mind, Shirl.
604
00:24:16,438 --> 00:24:19,206
Tomorrow... I'm
going to go get a facial.
605
00:24:19,275 --> 00:24:20,807
Oh!
606
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:23,355
I thought you were gonna
go to do something smutty.
607
00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:26,012
That's what I'm
getting the facial for.
608
00:24:31,103 --> 00:24:34,972
( theme music plays)
609
00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:36,473
♪ We're gonna do it ♪
610
00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:40,127
♪ On your mark,
get set and go now ♪
611
00:24:40,196 --> 00:24:43,464
♪ Got a dream, and
we just know now ♪
612
00:24:43,533 --> 00:24:47,468
♪ We're gonna make
that dream come true ♪
613
00:24:47,536 --> 00:24:51,472
♪ And we'll do it our
way, yes, our way ♪
614
00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:56,143
♪ Make all our
dreams come true ♪
615
00:24:56,212 --> 00:25:00,864
♪ For me and you. ♪
43334
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