Original subtitles

Are you sure you're ready to go back to work, Calvin?

It's been two weeks, Tina. My knee is healed, all right?

I didn't stay home this long

when I had gallstones taken out.

You didn't have gallstones taken out.

It was your appendix.

Well, something came out, and I was right back on my feet.

All right, Calvin.

Venturing out in the world?

He's supposed to be venturing to physical therapy,

but he won't make an appointment.

I don't need it, Tina. I was born in the '60s.

That's when things were built tough.

I'm not made of fiberglass and plastic

like these new people.

Hi.

Hey, what's... Hey, what's with the big thermometer?

It's for our fundraising campaign,

but I can't leave it at school.

Some creative young artist keeps adding things to it

that, uh, make it look like something else.

Oh. Like what?

Oh... yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

We're raising money to build an aquatic center

to attract new families to the school.

Finally, we can stick it to those snobs

at the Oak Ridge Academy.

Hey, do you know their cafeteria has a Michelin star?

Stop following that school on Instagram!

I got to run. Yeah, you know what, me too.

Okay.

Enough, Calvin.

I'm making you an appointment for PT.

Ooh, you know, I know a great physical therapist.

I refer people to him at the VA all the time.

His name is Derrick Frye.

Oh, the Derrick Frye?

Used to play for the Rams?

So, you've heard of him?

Yes, Dave. I'm a man.

And I watch football.

Oh, good. So, you'll do it?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess, you know, if I...

I mean, if I need to do it,

then I might as well go to someone

who's used to working on elite athletes like myself.

I'm out of here, guys.

♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood.

Whoa. What happened to you?

After-school art club. That's what happened to me.

I'm a history teacher. Look at this top.

I was gonna take this back!

You're lucky.

Our dear principal made me supervise

the softball team.

I had to wear this huge leather glove thing.

And it was not new.

Well, it's all for the kids, right?

Are the kids gonna refund me my $59?

$59? American dollars?

I'm quoting the original price.

Look, the point is,

we are being overworked.

I know she's your friend and all,

but Principal Johnson needs to stop asking us

to do double duty.

She's got to hire some teachers' aides.

Look, look, no one cares about this school

more than Gemma, okay?

She busts her butt, too.

Let's cut her a little slack, okay?

Hello, teachers! Hey.

Oh! Looks like someone had fun in art.

Sure did.

You know me, anything for the kids.

Aw.

That's right.

Speaking of which, is anyone free tomorrow afternoon?

Thank you, Tina!

Wh-wh-what? I didn't say yes.

But it's an emergency.

I need someone to chaperone the fifth graders' field trip

to the Altadena Waste Disposal Center.

You mean the dump.

Please don't call it "the dump."

The dump people get very offended.

I'd do it, but I'm swamped.

I've got the fundraising campaign,

the annual report to finish,

back-to-back donor dinners...

Plus, it'll be fun.

Fine.

You're the best.

Eh.

Have fun, Tina.Mm-hmm.

Hope you had your tetanus shot.

Yeah, you know,

I was a running back back in my day.

And I almost made the pros,

but, you know, just missed the cut, man.

Really? What college did you play for?

You know... ...in college, too.

I-I missed the cut.

I missed the cut.

But, uh, I dominated in high school,

middle school, peewee, you know.

It's just good to talk to somebody else

that played the game.

You know.

All right, Calvin, I need to know,

are you injured or are you hurt?

What's the difference?

If you're injured, you can't play.

But if you're hurt, I'm gonna put your butt

back on the field and give you the ball.

Okay... Mm-hmm.

Now, I'm gonna ask you one more damn time...

Are you injured or are you hurt?

You know, I'm still a little confused,

but I'm gonna say "hurt"?

Now we're talking.

Now let's get you off that bench... Okay.

And back in the game. All right.

Now, this electro stim machine

is gonna get the blood flowing

to your knee.

Let's get to work. All right.

Mm.

How's that feel?

I didn't even know it was on.

That's what I'm talking about.

Let's crank it up, then.

Okay.

No pain, no gain.

That's my motto.

All right.

Now we're getting somewhere.

You good?

I'm okay. I'm all right.

Whoo. Okay, man.

Well, thanks for coming, man.

That was a good one right there.

Are you under the impression that we're done here?

No, sir.

Coach... sir... D-doctor. Doctor?

Pick one! Okay.

Right. So, Pop drove all the way to work today

but didn't get out of his truck?

I think his knee still hurts.

We had to have our staff meeting in the parking lot.

Whenever he didn't like an idea, he just honked.

Ooh. I'd better go.

I am about to be late for class.

Uh, okay.

Malcolm, yeah, I got something to show you, man.

It's about your girl...

What? Janelle!

Hey, how you doing?

You're rocking that computer bag.

Thank you.

Okay.

Bye, babe. Bye.

See you later.

Uh... what's going on, Trey?

All right, look, I'm not even gonna sugarcoat this.

I was scrolling on Tinder, looking for a wife...

Yours or someone else's?

I mean, I'm open.

Anyway, I swiped on Janelle.

Whoa, Janelle?

Why would you swipe on my Janelle?

Nah, see, I was just swiping and swiping,

and before I realized, it-it was her.

And you can't un-swipe.

Why is she on a dating app?

I don't know, but whatever you do,

don't tell her I told you, 'cause I ain't no snitch.

I got you, man. Don't say that.

Hey. I forgot my keys.

Yeah, uh, Trey saw you on Tinder!

No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

Come on, Trey.

Yes.

I guess I still have the app,

but I wouldn't say I'm on there.

I mean, I still have Angry Birds.

Yeah, I guess I need to free up some storage space.

Yeah, that's, that's a great idea.

Why don't you start with Tinder?

I mean, I need more space for our pictures.

And that video.Shh.

Damn!

What?

Well, I mean,

you-you're finally settling down.

Oh, settling down? What you talking about?

I mean, you made her delete her dating app.

You low-key just proposed.

What? That's ridiculous, man.

♪ Malcolm's got a girlfriend! ♪All right, stop.

Stop. Anybody can... ♪ Malcolm's got a girlfriend, Malcolm's got a girlfriend. ♪

I think there's something rotten in the fridge.

It's not the fridge.

Yes, it's me!

One of the kids thought he saw a hundred dollar bill

in a pile of garbage and went after it.

And guess who had to pull him out? Me!

Turned out to be a flyer for a strip club.

Hello to the best faculty in all of Pasadena.

Ooh, it's a little ripe in here.

That's because I just got back

from that "waste treatment center" that you sent me to.

Ugh, thank you so much.

I'd hug you, but... you know.

Now...

Who has a red marker?

I have exciting news.

Is that bag covering what I think it's covering?

It was in a locked cabinet.

I don't know how these kids are getting to it.

It's the parents. I blame the parents.

But not to their faces, because

we are now at 85% of our fundraising goal

for the new aquatic center.

It's gonna look so great on the school's brochure.

Oh, Mr. Ryan, I need you

to design a brochure.

On top of debate club,

parking lot duty, and Model U.N.?

Thank you! You are a rock star.

I really can't thank you all enough

for going the extra mile for our kids.

You-you really want to thank us?

Try hiring some teachers' aides.

That would be fantastic.

Uh...

I wish we could afford it.

Oops! I've got to run

to an organizing meeting for the silent auction.

Smell you later.

Sorry, that's just an expression.

Now come on, Calvin. Let's go.

I've got a reputation here.

By the second or third session,

I've always gotten my client to 50%.

I'm undefeated.

At therapy?

At life.

Now, we're gonna do some fire cupping.

You don't mind a little heat, do you?

Well, I mind being set on fire.

A little fire never hurt anybody.

Well, that's not true.

That's why they have burn units.

Ooh, hey, Calvin.

Sorry, sorry.

I don't want to interrupt.

Oh, oh, it's not interrupting.

You're not interrupting.

There's always time for Dave. You know what?

Uh, let's put a pin in this fire cup thing, okay?

Okay.

Is it fire cupping time?

You know, I remember when Derek did this to me.

It was rough.

It was?

You could have fooled me.

Hey, your man Dave, here?

He can take some pain.

This Dave?

Fanny pack Dave?

Oh, yeah.

This man's a beast.

I haven't worked with a guy this tough

since The Rock.

Okay,

did you just compare Dave to The Rock?

Oh, no,

I compared The Rock to Dave.

Now, now, Calvin, look, I don't want.

Derek's effusive compliments to make you feel less than.

Okay? Not everyone has my strength and fortitude.

Mm-hmm.

I have to open jars for you.

You know what?

Come on. Light me back on fire.

Let's go!

So Tina and the teachers

asked you to hire teachers' aides?

Yeah.

So you're giving them candles

and Hershey's kisses?

We can't afford the good stuff.

These are Costco Smooches.

And, uh, that's...

Yes, it's hair, Dave.

They've added hair.

The artist has gotten ambitious.

I just hope the teachers appreciate this gesture.

I don't know what else to do.

They just don't understand

what the aquatic center will do for the school.

I mean, I don't, either.

None of my friends do.

Well, luckily,

your friends don't run the school.

Hey, buddy, Is that...

Is that Magic Marker on your hand?

Uh, I don't know. They're in my pockets.

Were you the one drawing testicles on my thermometer?

Okay, Gemma, relax. Our son would never do that.

I mean, that'd be nuts.

All right.

Quality dad joke.

Hey. Hey.

Before you say anything,

this is not a dating app. It's a video.

It's the one with the baby sitting in the snow going...

Yeah, that's a good one.

Hey, you know what? I owe you an apology.

Yeah, I made way too big a deal

about you being on a silly little app,

and, uh, I wouldn't blame you

for putting it back on your phone.

Nah, I don't need it.

I forgot it was even there.

No, but really, really,

you should put it back.

You know, if only to show me I had no right

telling you to delete it, huh?

Who the hell do I think I am?

So you want me to start using it again?

Well, I'm not saying you have to use it...

But I should have it?

You should have the right

to have it.

Okay, we've been together, what, eight months?

Mm-hmm.

I think I'm finally starting

to understand you.Okay.

Remember when you made us register our relationship

at the school, but you kept insisting

that we call it a "vibe"?

Well, vibe means we vibing. It's... Yeah.

Yeah, Malcolm, we're vibing,

we're hanging, we're chilling, we're kicking it.

Yeah. I just don't think we're dating.

Well, you know,

we shouldn't have to put labels on ourselves, right?

We aren't label people.

Mm-hmm.

Remember the time I left my toothbrush at your place,

accidentally, and you lost your mind?

Okay, I would not say I lost my mind.

You drove it to my house.

And now that I've deleted the stupid app,

per your request,

you're scared

because that means we're in a real relationship.

You want boyfriend privileges,

but you don't want to be a boyfriend.

And I don't have time for that.

Okay. Okay, okay, look, Janelle,

I got the solution, okay?

Don't put Tinder back on your phone.

No, Malcolm, I have the solution.

We're done.

What, done?

You mean, like "done" done?

You can say "done" as many times as you want.

It's over.

Take care of yourself, Malcolm.

Wait, Janelle...

And then, out of the blue, she broke up with me.

Can you believe that? No.

We thought you were going to

break up with her.Mm-hmm.

What are you talking about?

Come on, man.

This seemed like it was your way out.

It's vintage Malcolm.

You date them for a while,

you find something wrong, and then you're out.

What? Man, I don't do that.

Oh, really? Keisha?

Her second toe was longer than her big toe.

You were out.

Well, I am drawn to

a more traditional flip-flop aesthetic.

Tanya didn't make the bed.

She was the last one in it. Everyone knows that's the rule.

Stephanie. You broke up with her

because she owned her own bowling ball.

It's weird. They have them at the alley, Trey.

Look, man, I hate to say it, but

you have a commitment problem.

Man, you guys are crazy.

Okay, so why couldn't you commit to Janelle?

I was planning on committing.

I just hadn't decided to definitely do it yet.

Brother, I don't know what you're looking for,

but Janelle was brilliant

and funny,

and she was super into you.

He ain't lying.

If I had a Janelle,

I wouldn't even be on Tinder.

As much.

Okay, you know what? Y'all are acting like

Janelle is perfect,

but she... she has flaws.

Like what?

She has never seen.

Coming to America.

Yeah, okay.

Other day, I said, "Sexual Chocolate."

She had no idea what I was talking about.

Sexual Chocolate!

I have a problem, don't I?

I can't thank you enough

for your generous gift, Dr. Kittay.

Yes, see you at the pool.

Oh, in a speedo?

Oh, you're great.

Hey, Gemma.

Um,

we got to have a real talk.

I am here on behalf of the teachers.

Oh, did the gift bags cheer them up?

Well, actually, they made the teachers slightly angrier.

You see, we all have candles,

but what we need is help.

We're understaffed.

We need teachers' aides.

I so hear you,

and I've discussed it with the board... Uh-huh.

And it's just not in the budget right now.

But a swimming pool is in the budget?

I wish. That's why we're having a fundraiser.

So why don't you have a fundraiser

for teachers' aides?

That's not how it works.

Until you make it work that way.

Tina, there's a whole board of trustees

I have to answer to. I'm sorry.

But, hey,

if there's anything you need, just name it.

I've been naming it, Gemma.

Teachers' aides.

I'm sorry, I've got to take this.

Mr. Schaefer, hello.

No, no, no, I'm not busy at all.

You know, you never know

how important a knee is

until you

you don't have one, you know?

Anything I dropped on the ground this last month stayed there.

So, you feel better now, huh?

Hey, I feel great. You know what?

Tackle me.

Hey, don't tempt me.

Ooh, hey, guys. How's it going?

Oh, hey, Calvin, uh, I found your sunglasses.

I think you dropped them in the driveway.

You know what? Drop them now.

Drop them.

Okay. Um...

Whoa.

Your man Derek here got me straight, man.

Well, I couldn't have done it without Dave.

Dave?

What'd Dave do?

Look, I needed to inspire you to try harder.

So, uh,

Derek held me up as an example

of strength and machismo.

You see, I used Dave here to light

that competitive fire in you.

You know, athletes like you and me,

we just need to be challenged.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You know. Yeah, we're the same,

you know?

So-so, what you're saying is that Dave

wasn't so tough in his sessions?

No. He cried like a baby.

We've got the mockups on the brochure.

The aquatic center looks great.

Yes, I have seen the thermometer.

No, I have no idea who did it.

We don't need no stinking pool.

Teachers need some help at school.

We don't need no stinking pool. I've got to run.

Teachers need some help at school.

We don't need no stinking pool.

Teachers need some help at school.

Tina, really?

We don't want Principal Johnson.

Send her back home to Wisconsin.

We don't want Principal Johnson.

Uh... Send her back home to Wisconsin.

I'm from Michigan!

Send her back home to Wisconsin.

Tina, tell them!

Send her back home to Wisconsin.

We don't want Principal Johnson...

No justice, no homework.

No justice, no homework.

Grover, what are you doing? Get to class.

There are no teachers, Gemma.

He's an ally.

The principal has no principles.

Both of those "principles" are spelled wrong, Grover.

Well, maybe your new swimming pool

can teach him the difference.

You don't need the megaphone.

You're very easy to hear.

Captioning sponsored by CBS and TOYOTA.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org