Original subtitles

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

( louder ): AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

* OH... *

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE. *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH... *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* READY? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

( laughs heartily )

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION ( plays airy tune )

and NICKELODEON]

SpongeBob: AH! TIME FOR BED, GARY.

( pop )

( meows )

OH, GARY!

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY:

CURIOSITY SALTED THE SNAIL.

MIND YOUR WANDERING EYE, YOU LITTLE MOLLUSK.

SWEET DREAMS, GARY.

( snoring and squeaking )

SpongeBob: HEY! OVER HERE!

( laughing )

( engine revs )

( tires squealing )

WAIT A MINUTE!

I DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

( horn honks )

WOW!

MY DRIVER'S LICENSE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I SURE TAKE A GOOD PICTURE.

DARN! I SHOULD HAVE GROWN A MOUSTACHE.

( tires bumping )

DUH-DOO-DUH-DUH, DUH-DOO...!

HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF DRIVING?

ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT.

HEY! I CAN SEE THE KRUSTY KRAB FROM HERE.

MRS. PUFF, LOOK!

I FINALLY GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE.

NOT EVEN IN YOUR DREAMS, MR. SQUAREPANTS.

( yelling )

OUCH!

WHERE AM I?

IS THAT ME?

OR IS THIS ME?

AM I STILL DREAMING?

( Gary meowing and snoring )

THIS MUST BE GARY'S DREAM.

I'M GOING TO GET A CLOSER LOOK.

WHOA!

WOW, LOOK AT ALL THESE BOOKS.

I WONDER WHERE GARY IS.

GARY!

HUH?

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

HAVE YOU SEEN...

SPONGEBOB?!

GARY?

HOW DARE YOU INVADE

THE SANCTITY OF MY DREAMS!

GARY! YOU CAN TALK!

( sighs )

IN DREAMS, ONE IS NOT TETHERED BY EARTHLY LIMITATIONS.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

COME.

FOR AGES, DREAMS HAVE BEEN THOUGHT OF

AS WINDOWS TO ANOTHER REALM.

"LET ME NOT MAR THAT PERFECT DREAM

"BY AN AURORAL STAIN

"BUT SO ADJUST MY DAILY NIGHT

THAT IT MAY COME AGAIN."

EMILY DICKINSON WROTE THAT.

WHO?

HERE'S ONE YOU MIGHT KNOW.

( clears throat )

"THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM PERU

"WHO DREAMED HE WAS EATING HIS SHOE

"HE WOKE WITH A FRIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

TO FIND THAT HIS DREAM HAD COME TRUE."

( laughs )

GEE, GARY, YOU SURE ARE SMART.

DID YOU THINK MY SHELL WAS FULL OF HOT AIR?

THANKS FOR THE INFO, GARY.

I'M GOING BACK TO MY OWN DREAM.

BEWARE OF YOUR WANDERING EYE, YOU LITTLE PORIFERAN.

( snoring nearby )

I WONDER WHAT PATRICK'S DREAMING.

I CAN'T RESIST.

( laughs )

( carnival music playing )

HEY, PATRICK!

HEY, SPONGEBOB.

YOU KNOW, PATRICK, THIS IS A DREAM.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.

YEP.

I MEAN ANYTHING.

WATCH-- I CAN TURN INTO A SKYSCRAPER.

GOING UP!

HUH?

I CAN MAKE...

A MILLION OF ME!

HUH? HUH?

YUP.

AW, TARTAR SAUCE.

I'M GOING TO A DIFFERENT DREAM.

OKAY.

BYE, SPONGEBOB.

( music stops, change jingles )

( grunts )

SHOOT!

THAT WAS MY LAST QUARTER.

( snoring nearby )

( Squidward moaning, snoring )

OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD!

( clarinet playing solo )

( audience applauds )

SpongeBob: PSST! SQUIDWARD!

HEY, SQUIDWARD!

SPONGEBOB!

( someone clears throat )

WHY DO YOU STOP PLAYING, WOLFGANG AMADEUS TENTACLES?

YES, YOUR HIGHNESS.

( continues tune )

( king laughing )

( whispering )

SPONGEBOB!

HEY, I HAVE NOT INSTRUCTED YOU TO STOP!

NOW, PLAY!

DO TELL ME THE ONE

ABOUT THE MAN FROM PERU AGAIN.

SPONGE...!

( crack )

( all gasp )

( weakly ): BOB.

I CAME HERE TO HEAR BEAUTIFUL MUSIC.

IF I DON'T GET MY WISH, IT'LL BE YOUR HEAD!

( laughing nervously )

SpongeBob: PSST!

SQUIDWARD!

HUH? HUH?

NO... WAY.

( king clears throat loudly )

PLEASE, SPONGEBOB.

NO TRICKS.

TRUST ME, SQUIDWARD.

( SpongeBob singing raucously )

( all gasp )

SPONGEBOB!

( whimpering ): WHY HAVE YOU STOPPED PLAYING

THAT WONDERFUL MUSIC?

( singing raucously )

HIS MUSIC TOUCHES ME EVER SO.

I FEAR THAT MY TEARS MIGHT STAIN MY PETTICOAT.

( audience cheering )

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

( fans cheering and yelling )

WHAT IS THIS INSTRUMENT

THAT PRODUCES SUCH LOVELY SOUND?

( all gasp )

SO LONG, SQUIDWARD!

( groaning in frustration )

( laughing delightedly )

( grumbling )

HEY! I'M AT SANDY'S.

( laughs )

AW, THIS LOOKS NEAT.

I WONDER...

( yelling )

HEY, SPONGEBOB, WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?

HEY, SANDY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WELL, WE'RE FREE-FALLING

FROM 114,000 FEET

AND WE'LL LAND ON THAT ITTY-BITTY TARGET.

THIS SEEMS KIND OF DANGEROUS!

NOT AS LONG AS YOU GOT A BIG, OLD PARACHUTE.

OKAY!

NOT "PAIR OF SHOES," SPONGEBOB--

"PARA-CHUTE."

GOT YOU.

( singing )

NOT A "PARAKEET"-- PARA...

( splat )

MADE IT.

( SpongeBob yelling )

OUCH.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

NO MORE MESSING WITH PEOPLE'S DREAMS.

( laughs )

HEY!

MR. KRABS.

UH... MR. KRABS?

Pearl: HELLO, SPONGEBOB.

OH, PEARL, THIS IS YOUR DREAM.

YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR THE TEA PARTY.

I WAS LOOKING FOR YOUR DAD'S DREAM.

OH.

HE'S NEXT DOOR.

BOYS DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SOPHISTICATION OF TEA PARTIES.

RIGHT, MR. STUFFY?

BYE.

I BET MR. KRABS'S DREAM WILL BE MORE ROBUST.

Krabs: I GOT YOU NOW, YOU SLIPPERY DEMON!

YOU'RE PUTTING UP A GOOD FIGHT.

YES, YOU ARE!

WHAT YOU DOING, MR. KRABS?

I'M PICKING NEPTUNE'S POCKET!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKING ABOUT COLD, HARD, FLIPPING CASH!

IT'S THE MIGHTY MOBY DOLLAR!

DO YOU SEE HER, BOY?

I GOT HER-- HERE SHE COMES.

THAR SHE BLOWS!

( laughing ): LOOK, MR. KRABS!

PENNIES!

NEVER MIND THE SMALL CHANGE, LAD.

GET THE NET.

THIS ONE?

NO-- THE MONEY NET.

IT'S IN ME BACK POCKET.

WOW! YOU LOOK REAL GOOD WITH A MOUSTACHE, MR. KRABS.

NEVER MIND THAT, BOY.

READY THE NET!

NET READY, SIR!

I DID IT!

( laughing with joy )

I FINALLY DID IT!

CONGRATULATIONS, MR. KRABS.

NO, SPONGEBOB!

DON'T LET IT GO!

GET IT, SPONGEBOB, GET IT, GET IT!

COME BACK! HEY, HEY!

Krabs: NO!

( cash register bell dinging )

THIS'LL MAKE A GREAT FISH STORY, EH, MR. KRABS?

OH, SPONGEBOB...

YES, MR. KRABS?

YOU'RE FIRED!

( gun fires )

( SpongeBob yelling )

HEY, PLANKTON'S DREAMING ABOUT BIKINI BOTTOM.

Plankton: ZAP!

( creatures yelling )

I SEE YOU.

ZAP!

I SEE YOU.

ZAP!

PLANKTON.

I SEE YOU!

ZAP!

( creatures yelling )

OH, LOOK, IT'S THE KRUSTY KRAB

HOME OF THE KRABBY PATTY.

CRUSH!

LICK, LICK!

THIS ISN'T A DREAM.

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.

( Gary meows )

( feet squeal )

GARY!

GARY! NO!

( meows )

HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY.

GARY!

I'VE GOT YOU, GARY.

PEEKABOO!

HERE COMES MY FOOT!

YEAH!

HUH?

YOW!

I THINK HE'S GOT THE POINT.

( laughs )

( air rushing out )

WHOA!

( scream grows higher, then stops )

WELL, I GUESS I'VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO, HUH?

NO, NO, NO!

NO, NOT THE FACE!

( yells )

( snoring )

AH, THAT WAS FUN AND ALL

BUT IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK IN MY OWN DREAM CLOUD.

( grunts contentedly )

Various voices ( echoing ): SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!

SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!

SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

LEAVE ME ALONE.

( voices echoing )

Squidward: SPONGEBOB, SPONGEBOB!

STOP!

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN YOUR PAJAMAS?

ARE WE HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY?

NO, WE ARE NOT HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY.

DO US ALL A FAVOR, SPONGEBOB

AND STAY OUT OF OUR DREAMS.

( all grumbling )

DON'T WE GET ENOUGH OF YOU DURING THE DAY?

( meows angrily )

DOES ANYONE HAVE A QUARTER?

( snoring )

( thunder rumbles )

( thunder crackles )

( yelps )

IT'S RAINING KRABBY PATTIES!

YEAH!

( moaning )

HUH?

( stomach growls )

A QUICK MIDNIGHT SNACK, AND THEN IT'S BACK TO BED.

( Gary meows )

AH, SLEEP TIGHT, MY LITTLE ANGEL.

( snores, meows )

( stairs creak )

AH, HERE IT IS.

NOTHING LIKE A SEA-NUT BUTTER AND JELLYFISH JELLY SANDWICH

TO HELP YOU GET TO SLEEP.

( snoring )

( "Dance Of the Sugarplum Fairy" playing )

( alarm clock ticking; click; foghorn blows loudly )

( teeth chattering )

( yelps )

THE FRIDGE!

( quavering )

( teeth clatter )

( shudders )

WHOA!

OOP!

( groans )

( teeth clatter )

( meows )

OH, GARY, I DON'T FEEL LIKE MYSELF.

( meows )

DON'T BE SILLY, GARY.

I DON'T GET COLDS.

I GET THE SUDS.

( meows )

NO, GARY... ( sniffles )

IF I HAD THE SUDS, I'D HAVE BUBBLES COMING OUT OF ME.

( gears up to sneeze, then sneezes )

( moans exhaustedly )

( meows )

I CAN'T GET THE SUDS

BECAUSE THEN I'LL HAVE TO MISS WORK.

( sniffles )

( suppresses sneeze )

( meows )

NO, GARY.

I LIKE WEARING MY UNDERWEAR LIKE THIS.

( Gary meows )

I'M NOT SICK.

I'M GOING TO WORK.

( suppresses sneeze )

SPONGEBOB, WHAT'S HOLDING UP THOSE PATTIES?

RIGHT AWAY, SIR.

SPONGEBOB, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU'RE PALER THAN A BABY SEA HORSE.

( meows )

THE SUDS?

HERE'S THAT PATTY YOU WANTED, MR. KRABS, SIR.

( gearing up to sneeze )

ALL RIGHT, SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE TOO SICK TO WORK.

NO, MR. KRABS, I'M OKAY, HONEST.

NO, NOW GO HOME AND GET SOME REST.

NOTHING PERSONAL, LAD.

I JUST CAN'T HAVE YOU SNEEZING ALL OVER MY FOOD.

Customers: HUH?!

( customers shouting )

NO, WAIT. WAIT!

( screaming )

OH, GARY...

( sniffles )

I FEEL HORRIBLE.

( sneezes )

OH, WHO AM I KIDDING, GARY?

I'VE GOT THE SUDS, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

( sniffles )

( sneezes )

I BETTER TAKE CARE OF THIS BEFORE IT GETS OUT OF HAND.

( phone cuckoos )

HELLO.

SANDY, I'M SICK.

CAN YOU ESCORT ME TO THE DOCTOR'S?

OH, SURE, SPONGEBOB

I'LL BE THERE FASTER THAN A BAREFOOT JACKRABBIT

ON A HOT GREASY GRIDDLE IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST...

Yeah, Sandy, thanks.

( sneezes )

( doorbell rings )

COMING.

HEY, SPONGEBOB.

GOING SKIING?

I'M SICK, PATRICK.

I'M GOING TO THE DOCTOR.

WHAT? OH, YOU CAN'T GO!

WHY NOT, PATRICK?

I KNOW A GUY WHO KNOWS A GUY

WHO WENT TO THE DOCTOR ONCE

AND THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE IS A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PLACE.

IT CAN'T BE AS HORRIBLE AS THE SUDS.

( sneezes )

OH, IT IS, SPONGEBOB!

WELL, FIRST THEY MAKE YOU SIT IN THE... WAITING ROOM.

IS THAT THE HORRIBLE PART, PATRICK?

NO, IT GETS WORSE.

THEY MAKE YOU READ OLD MAGAZINES.

( yelps )

THEN THE DOCTOR PULLS OUT HIS STETHOSCOPE.

NO!

YES!

IT'S A DEVICE SO SINISTER

SO ICY COLD WHEN IT TOUCHES YOUR BARE FLESH

IT... ( hisses )

( shrieks )

NO! NO! NO STETHOSCOPE!

NO DOCTOR!

NO OLD MAGAZINES!

NO... ( hisses ) NO!

PATRICK, I DON'T WANT TO GO THE DOCTOR.

EXACTLY.

( sneezes )

YOU GOT TO HELP ME GET BETTER, PATRICK.

( sniffles ): PLEASE?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY DOCTOR, PATRICK?

WHAT ELSE ARE FRIENDS FOR?

( gears up to sneeze; sneezes )

IT APPEARS AS THOUGH

WE'LL HAVE TO PLUG UP THESE HOLES.

THIS OUGHT TO DO THE TRICK.

VOILA.

( starts to sneeze, then stops )

FEEL BETTER?

I DON'T KNOW.

( sneezes, sneeze gets stifled )

( sneezes, sneeze gets stifled )

( sneezes, sneeze gets stifled )

HELP, I'M SHRINKING.

NO! PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME!

NO BUBBLES!

PATRICK, YOUR TREATMENT IS WORKING.

YOU THINK SO?

SURE!

AT THIS RATE I'LL BE CURED IN NO TIME.

IN FACT, I'M GOING TO CALL SANDY

AND TELL HER NOT TO COME.

THANKS, DR. PATRICK.

AND THEY SAID I'D NEVER MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF MYSELF.

( groans )

MY FINGERS ARE TOO BIG FOR THE BUTTONS.

( sniffles )

DR. PATRICK, COULD YOU CALL SANDY FOR ME?

SURE, PATIENT SPONGEBOB.

( phone cuckoos )

HELLO, SANDY?

HIYA, PATRICK.

I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF MY PATIENT, SPONGEBOB.

I'M ON MY WAY OVER

TO TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.

UH... UH... THAT WILL NO LONGER BE REQUIRED.

HE IS IN MY CARE AS OF TODAY.

WELL, I'M COMING OVER TO TAKE A LOOK.

I'LL BE OVER THERE FASTER THAN A BAREFOOT JACKRABBIT ON A HOT...

OH, YEAH, YEAH, THE RABBIT.

DON'T BOTHER, SANDY.

SPONGEBOB, QUICK, SANDY'S COMING.

WE'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE WELL

OR SHE'LL TAKE YOU TO THE DOCTOR.

DON'T TOUCH ME, I'M STERILE.

SCALPEL, PLEASE.

FEELING BETTER?

UH-UH.

FELLING BETTER YET?

NOT REALLY.

HOW...

ABOUT...

NOW?

( groans ): I DON'T...

( groans ): THINK SO.

FEELING BETTER?

NO.

( shrieks )

HOW ABOUT NOW?

NOPE.

( shrieks )

HOW ABOUT NOW?

UH-UH.

( shrieks )

Sandy: HELLO, SPONGEBOB.

( Gregorian chant plays )

UH-OH, IT'S SANDY.

( sneeze gets stifled )

Patrick: THERE'S NO ONE HOME.

PATRICK, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR.

( sighs )

PATRICK, SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

( SpongeBob sneezes, sneeze gets stifled )

HEY!

OKAY, PATRICK, WHERE'S SPONGEBOB?

UH... UH... HE'S NOT HERE AT THE MOMENT.

PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP.

( imitates beep )

OKAY, NOW, TELL ME.

SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE TWO HOUSES?

SINCE I RAN OUT OF SPACE TO PUT MY STUFF.

UH-HUH, YEP.

SINCE WHEN DOES YOUR HOUSE HAVE FEET?

THIS IS MY MOBILE HOME.

( SpongeBob sneezes, sneeze gets stifled )

HIYA, SANDY.

HMM, THE DIRT THERAPY SEEMS TO BE WORKING JUST FINE.

PATRICK, SPONGEBOB HAS TO SEE A REAL DOCTOR.

NO, HE DOESN'T!

I'M TAKING CARE OF HIM!

SHOW HER, SPONGEBOB.

SAY "AH."

AH...

( birds tweeting )

( crackling; tweeting stops )

SEE? HE'S EVEN WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HE'S FINE.

I'M OKAY, SANDY, REALLY.

( gears up to sneeze )

( sneeze gets stifled )

I'M TAKING YOU TO THE DOCTOR RIGHT NOW.

HEY, THAT'S MY PATIENT.

YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM TO THE DOCTOR'S.

DON'T BE SILLY, PATRICK.

Patrick: HE'S MINE.

Sandy: SPONGEBOB, YOU'LL BE BETTER SOON.

I'LL SAVE YOU!

I'M BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BETTER, GUYS, REALLY.

( Patrick and Sandy grunt )

NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, PATRICK.

WHAT I'VE DONE?

EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP.

YOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED FOR IMPERSONATING A DOCTOR.

HEY, I'M A GOOD DOCTOR.

RIGHT!

HUH? SPONGEBOB?

I CAN'T STOP NOW!

HELP ME!

SHINY TINES.

MR. KRABS!

SPONGEBOB?

STOP, SPONGEBOB!

( yelping )

STOP!

OH!

( gears up to sneeze )

( sneezes explosively )

WELL, MR. SQUAREPANTS, IT SEEMS YOU HAVE THE SUDS.

ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR TREATMENT?

( sniffles )

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE ME

READ OLD MAGAZINES, ARE YOU?

NO, SILLY, YOU GET THE SPONGE TREATMENT.

OH, HANS.

( SpongeBob whoops )

SpongeBob: YEAH!

( chuckles ): THIS TICKLES.

( sniffles )

I CAN SMELL AGAIN!

( whoops )

( cheers )

( whoops )

YEAH!

I FEEL AS GOOD AS NEW.

I LOVE THE DOCTOR!

Hans: HERE'S YOUR LOLLIPOP.

A LOLLIPOP?

HEY, DOC, I GOT THE SUDS, TOO.

OH, YES, DR. PATRICK.

WE HAVE A SPECIAL TREATMENT FOR YOU.

( guffaws )

( Patrick guffaws )

Patrick: HEY, WAIT.

OUCH! OOH, THAT HURTS.

WAIT!

HEY, THIS DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT!

[Captioning sponsored by THE and NICKELODEON]

[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]