Original subtitles

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

( louder ): AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

* OH...

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE. *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH... *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* READY? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

( laughs heartily )

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION ( plays airy tune )

and NICKELODEON]

( with French accent ): HALLOWEEN IS NO DIFFERENT UNDER THE WAVES--

PIRATES, SKELETONS AND SEA MONSTERS...

( laughing evilly )

OOP, SORRY.

EVERYONE HAVING FUN.

WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE.

HUH? ( thump )

( hinge creaks eerily )

WHO'S THERE?

( deep, cacklelike creaking )

( whimpering nervously )

OKAY, MR. KRABS, THE DISHES ARE DONE-- I'M LEAVING.

HOLD ON.

DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR MY ANNUAL SCARY STORY?

NO, THANK YOU, MR. KRABS.

UH, DOES IT HAVE MONSTERS IN IT?

AYE-- THE WORST MONSTER OF THEM ALL.

UH...

NO.

IS IT A TRUE STORY?

TRUE AS THE DEEP BLUE.

OKAY, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE.

HAVE A SEAT, ME BOY.

HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT!

EVERY YEAR, ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT

THE FLYING DUTCHMAN DESCENDS ON BIKINI BOTTOM

IN A PIRATE SHIP...

JUST LIKE THIS

ONLY BIGGER.

EXCUSE ME, DID HIS SHIP LOOK LIKE A KRABBY PATTY?

LIKE I WAS SAYING, THE FLYING DUTCHMAN SWOOPS DOWN

AND STARTS STEALING PEOPLE'S SOULS.

DO SOULS LOOK LIKE PICKLES?

AYE, AS A MATTER OF FACT, THEY DO.

THEN HE PUTS THEM WHERE YOU CAN NEVER GET THEM--

IN HIS SOUL BAG.

( laughing evilly )

I'VE COME FOR YOUR PICKLE.

( screams )

HA! SCAREDY-PANTS GETS EASIER TO SCARE EVERY YEAR!

( both laugh heartily )

HMM... SQUIDWARD.

NOTHING LIKE A GOOD GHOST STORY, EH, ME BOY?

HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO SCARED TO COME TO ME PARTY TONIGHT

SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS.

( laughing )

STEAL YOUR SOUL.

( screams )

( evil laughter )

( gasps )

TRICK OR TREAT.

( SpongeBob yells )

IT'S OKAY, SON.

THAT'S JUST SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS.

( honks ) ( screams )

( teeth chattering )

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, SCAREDY-PANTS.

( cackles )

THE NAME'S SQUAREPANTS.

IT'S SQUAREPANTS!

SpongeBob: I DON'T GET IT, GARY.

EVERY HALLOWEEN, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, EVERYBODY SCARES ME.

( Gary meows )

WELL, I'M SICK OF IT.

NO MORE SCAREDY-PANTS.

( screams )

( knees clattering )

( knocking at door )

SPONGEBOB!

GARY, IT'S PATRICK.

I'M GOING TO SCARE HIM.

IT'S MY TURN.

RAR!

HIYA, SPONGEBOB.

( scream, crunch )

SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.

WHY CAN'T I BE FRIGHTENING FOR ONCE?

WHERE'S MY CHANCE?

IF YOU WANT TO BE SCARY

YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A GOOD COSTUME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

GREAT! YOU'RE GOING AS MY TRICK-OR-TREAT BAG.

NO, NO!

I'M THE GHOST OF THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.

UH, SOMETHING'S MISSING.

I KNOW!

( hand-sawing )

( power-sawing )

STEP INTO THESE BABIES, HANS.

TERRIFYING.

I DON'T KNOW, PATRICK.

( kids giggle )

( doorbell rings )

COME ON, IT'S LITTLE KIDS!

LITTLE KIDS ARE EASY TO SCARE.

TRICK OR TREAT!

RAR, RAR!

( laughing )

LOOK, IT'S THE HAUNTED MATTRESS.

OKAY, OKAY-- HERE'S YOUR CANDY.

NO... PLEASE.

THAT WAS ENOUGH OF A TREAT.

THANK YOU.

( kids laughing )

I DON'T GET IT, PATRICK.

SPONGEBOB

LOOK AT MY NEW PAPER GHOST.

OOH!

SCARY...

THAT IS IT, PATRICK.

WHAT'S IT?

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN THAT GHOST AND ME?

UH...

NO, NO, NO, WAIT, DON'T TELL ME.

( Patrick groaning with exertion )

D-D-DON'T TELL ME. I CAN DO THIS!

I CAN DO THIS, DON'T TELL ME, DON'T TELL ME!

DON'T TELL ME!

OKAY, TELL ME.

I'VE GOT A SQUARE HEAD

AND A REAL GHOST HAS A ROUND ONE.

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS MAKE MY HEAD ROUND

AND-- BOO!-- I'M SCARY.

OKAY, ARE YOU READY?

REMEMBER, LIKE THIS.

YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?

SHAVE ME DOWN, MAKE ME ROUND.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GET TO IT.

( shaver buzzing )

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

PERFECT.

NOW, THAT'S SCARY!

LET'S GO SCARE SOMEBODY.

SpongeBob: WHOO...

I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!

OOH...

I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!

( doorbell rings )

RAR, RAR!

I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.

Patrick: OOH...

I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN'S BEST FRIEND.

( both laughing )

HEY, DON'T YOU KIDS WANT YOUR CANDY?

( both laughing )

OH, BOY, THAT WAS SOMETHING.

YOUR COSTUME REALLY PACKS A PUNCH.

DO YOU THINK?

OH, NO QUESTION.

YOU SCARED THE BARNACLES OFF THAT GUY.

WHO SHOULD WE SCARE NEXT?

THERE'S A WHOLE PARTY JUST FULL OF PEOPLE

DOWN AT THE KRUSTY KRAB

AND THE FLYING DUTCHMAN IS GOING TO SHOW UP UNINVITED.

( people laughing outside )

OOH, HERE COMES SOMEONE NOW.

RAR!

WHOO...

( in quavery voice ): I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!

( laughing )

( laughing )

WASN'T THAT THE HAUNTED MATTRESS?

I GUESS HE'S BEEN DEMOTED TO A HAUNTED SLEEPING BAG.

( laughing )

( party music playing )

( general conversation )

( choking and coughing )

OH, DAD, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME AGAIN.

( crying )

( gagging, gasping )

( spurt )

( whistle )

( glass shatters )

HOWDY, SQUIDWARD... I MEAN FLYING DUTCHMAN.

GREAT PARTY, HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

WHY, I'M A PET GOLDFISH IN A BOWL.

I DON'T GET IT.

( slurping )

ARE YOU READY, SPONGEBOB?

OKAY, PATRICK.

KILL THE LIGHTS.

( music stops )

( people screaming )

( Patrick laughing evilly )

I AM THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!

BOOGA, BOOGA, BOOGA, BOOGA!

( rattling )

( eerily ): GIVE ME YOUR SOULS!

( buzzing )

( zap )

HUH?

( Patrick yelling )

( SpongeBob screaming )

( yelling )

WHOA!

( yelling )

( yelling and screaming )

OOH! AAH!

OUCH!

( SpongeBob yells )

( yelling repeatedly )

( yelling slows to halt )

HEY, THAT'S NO DUTCHMAN.

THAT'S SPONGEBOB!

SPONGEBOB?

SPONGEBOB.

( all laughing )

HELP!

HELP!

I AM NOT SPONGEBOB!

THOSE ARE MY STREET CLOTHES.

( partygoers laughing )

FLYING DUTCHMAN?!

FLYING DOPEMAN!

( thunder )

Deep male voice: ENOUGH!

( all gasp )

( laughing evilly )

IT'S THE REAL FLYING DUTCHMAN!

( gasps )

YOU BET YOUR LILY WHITE LIVERS I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.

AND I'LL LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET.

I'M GOING TO STEAL YOUR SOUL!

( screaming )

QUIET!

YOU HAD IT COMING, YOU BIG CRYBABIES.

EVERY YEAR, PEOPLE DRESSING LIKE ME!

( whistling nonchalantly )

TURNING THE FLYING DUTCHMAN NAME INTO A LAUGHINGSTOCK!

BUT THAT'S NOT THE REASON I'M TAKING YOUR SOULS.

NO, TH IS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK.

OUT OF ALL THE DUTCHMAN COSTUMES I'VE SEEN

YOURS IS THE MOST INSULTING.

DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT SCARY?

YOU?!

SCARY?

( laughing thunderously )

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT SCARY, KID.

THERE'S ALL KINDS OF SCARY THINGS IN THE WORLD.

SPIDERS ARE SCARY.

I'M SCARY.

YOU?

YOU'RE NOT SCARY.

OKAY, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

( laughing evilly )

( screaming )

SPONGEBOB!

FIRST I GOT TO GET RID OF THIS STUPID COSTUME.

( yelling )

HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW!

I SCARED HIM!

( laughing )

( all screaming )

IT WORKED, PATRICK.

I SCARED EVERYBODY.

YEAH.

I GUESS IT WAS YOUR PINK HAT.

PINK HAT? OH, THAT'S NOT A HAT.

THAT'S MY BRAIN.

OH...

( screaming )

SpongeBob: DON'T WORRY. IT GROWS BACK.

EXERCISE TIME IS OVER, GARY.

WE DON'T WANT YOU GETTING TOO THIN.

HERE, BOY.

FETCH!

( rooster crows )

( snoring )

( meows )

HUH?

GOOD JOB, GARY.

I LOVE YOU, GARY.

GARY, GARY, GARY, GARY...

( purring )

GARY, GARY, GARY.

( laughing )

DOWN, BOY!

( laughing )

SPONGEBOB!

ARE YOU READY?

ARE YOU READY?

ARE YOU READY?

FOR WHAT?

THE ANNUAL JELLYFISH CONVENTION IN UKULELE BOTTOM THIS WEEKEND.

HA... YA!

( yelling )

( glass shatters )

SO, YOU READY OR WHAT?

THAT WAS THIS WEEKEND?

I CAN'T GO.

I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO TAKE CARE OF GARY.

WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP LEAVING YOUR UNDERGARMENTS

ON MY FRONT LAWN?

SQUIDWARD, COULD YOU WATCH GARY THIS WEEKEND?

WHAT'S A GARY?

NOT A GARY-- GARY.

HE'S MY PET SNAIL.

( pop )

SAY "HELLO."

( hisses )

AAH!

YOU ACTUALLY CARE FOR THAT THING?

I LOVE GARY!

WELL, I DON'T.

GET SOMEBODY ELSE.

I GUESS WE CAN'T GO AWAY THIS WEEKEND

AFTER ALL, PATRICK.

GO AWAY?

YOU MEAN, IF I WATCH GARY

YOU GUYS WILL BE GONE ALL WEEKEND?

ACTUALLY, A THREE-DAY WEEKEND.

AS IN "NOT HERE FOR THREE DAYS"?

YEAH, BUT YOU'VE ALREADY SAID YOU CAN'T DO IT.

WE UNDERSTAND.

DON'T FEEL BAD, SQUIDWARD.

THE THREE OF US CAN STILL HAVE

OUR OWN JELLYFISH CONVENTION

AT YOUR HOUSE.

I CHANGED MY MIND.

YOU GUYS DESERVE A WEEKEND AWAY.

YOU'LL DO IT?

GREAT!

LET ME SHOW YOU A LITTLE BIT

ABOUT SNAIL CARE.

YOU NEED TO TAKE GARY FOR A WALK TWICE A DAY...

Squidward: FRIDAY, SATURDAY AND SUNDAY-- A THREE-DAY WEEKEND.

LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO FEED HIM.

A CAN IN THE MORNING AND A CAN AT NIGHT.

( sarcastically ): SURE IT'S ENOUGH?

Group: JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING!

THE BUS IS HERE!

THE BUS IS HERE!

COME ON, SPONGEBOB!

All: JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!

TIME TO GO. DON'T WANT TO BE LATE. BYE-BYE.

YOU WON'T FORGET MY INSTRUCTIONS, WILL YOU?

I HAVE THE MEMORY OF AN ELEPHANT.

I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF FRED.

GARY.

RIGHT, YEAH, RIGHT.

Group: JELLYFISHING!

All: JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!

SO LONG, LOSERS!

( laughs )

THEY'RE GONE.

( laughs )

( meows )

( humming )

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST THREE DAYS OF MY LIFE.

( sighs )

I'M GOING TO DO ALL THE THINGS

I CAN'T NORMALLY DO BECAUSE OF SPONGEBOB.

( sizzling quietly )

Group: JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!

WELL, THUS ENDS THE GREATEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE.

NO SPONGEBOB, NO PATRICK, NOTHING BUT ME, ME, ME.

( groans gutturally )

( thud )

( screams )

THE SNAIL! I FORGOT THE SNAIL!

( panting )

( moans )

I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

OH!

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

HERE WE GO, RIGHT HERE.

EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT!

YOU'VE GOT TO FINISH THIS FOOD!

SEE YOU LATER, PATRICK.

COME ON, EAT! EAT! EAT!

AAH... AAH... AAH...

OH!

GARY, I'M HOME!

HI, SPONGEBOB.

SQUIDWARD, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

( gulps hard )

AAH!

JUST, UH, CHECKING UP ON OLD GARY FOR YOU.

YOU'RE A GREAT FRIEND, SQUIDWARD.

WELL, I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

BYE.

THANKS, SQUIDWARD.

I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU.

( wheezes )

( screams )

GARY!

GARY, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?

WHAT'S WRONG?

SQUIDWARD, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH GARY!

SQUIDWARD!

OH!

Male fish: YES, YES, IT'S JUST AS I THOUGHT.

WHAT?

THIS IS DEFINITELY A SNAIL.

( gasps )

I KNEW IT!

OH, SQUID, DID YOU HEAR THAT?

THEREFORE, A SHOT OF SNAIL PLASMA

MUST BE CAREFULLY ADMINISTERED.

HERE YOU GO.

YOU WON'T DO IT?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'M TOO SQUEAMISH.

UH, HANG ON, DOC.

LET ME HELP YOU WITH YOUR BAG THERE.

SQUID, WAIT.

I CAN'T GIVE GARY HIS PLASMA.

I'M SQUEAMISH, TOO.

OH, SPONGEBOB, I DON'T WANT TO...

( violent coughing )

GARY!

OKAY, OKAY, I'LL DO IT.

NOW, DON'T HURT HIM, SQUIDWARD.

OKAY, STEADY.

WAIT, THAT'S TOO HARD.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, TRY IT AGAIN.

WAIT!

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

( stammers ): HOLD HIM STILL.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

HOLD HIM STILL! WAIT.

OUCH!

UH, SQUIDWARD...

YOU'VE INJECTED ME WITH SNAIL PLASMA.

WELL, YOU MADE ME DO IT.

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?

OH, NOTHING, IT'S JUST A LITTLE SNAIL PLASMA.

I DON'T KNOW, I FEEL KIND OF FUNNY.

Squidward: IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

( moans )

( gulps )

( gargles, then clears throat )

( meows spiritedly )

HE JUST NEEDED WATER?

OH, GARY, YOU'RE BETTER!

OH, HOW TOUCHING.

I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND THROW UP.

GOOD NIGHT.

SQUIDWARD, WAIT!

THE SNAIL PLASMA.

TRUST ME, SPONGEBOB.

NOTHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU.

YOU'RE FINE.

( meows )

DON'T WORRY, GARY.

SQUIDWARD SAYS I'LL BE FINE.

HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.

SO, YOU HUNGRY?

( meows loudly )

HMM?

HMM!

MMM.

MMM, MMM, MMM.

HERE YOU GO.

EAT UP, GARY.

( meows questioningly )

SORRY, GARY, I COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF.

( burps )

MEOW.

WHY'D I JUST DO THAT?

AM I CRACKING UP?

( meows )

NO. NO, SQUIDWARD'S RIGHT.

I'M FINE.

I WORRY TOO MUCH.

IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD.

I FEEL TIP-TOP.

GARY, YOU'RE GETTING

( voice slows ): A LOT FASTER.

( footsteps thumping loudly )

( voice echoes ): LOOK AT ME.

NEVER BETTER.

( yelps )

I'M OKAY.

SQUIDWARD SAID I'M FINE.

( screams )

( shrieks )

GARY! I'M FINE!

( straining ): YOU SEE?

( grunting )

THAT'S OKAY, I'M A LEFTY, ANYWAY.

( grunts, screams )

NOW I DON'T HAVE TO BUY THOSE NEW SHOES.

( screams and groans )

I TAKE IT BACK, GARY.

SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!

OW.

I HOPE I NEVER SEE ANOTHER SNAIL AGAIN.

GOOD NIGHT, CLARI.

( doorbell rings, knock on door )

WHO COULD THAT BE?

AS IF I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW.

SPONGEBOB, I ALREADY TOLD YOU:

YOU'RE GOING TO BE JUST FI...

( screams )

OW.

( screams )

MEOW, MEOW.

( screams )

( panting )

SPONGEBOB?

OH, NEPTUNE, WHAT HAVE I DONE?

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

GET IT TOGETHER, SQUIDWARD.

MEOW!

( screams )

MEOW!

MEOW, MEOW.

( screams )

MEOW.

( gasps )

MEOW, MEOW.

( screams )

NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING IF I'D ONLY FED THAT SNAIL.

MEOW.

( screaming )

MEOW.

( screaming )

MEOW.

( screams )

MEOW.

( screams )

MEOW.

( screaming and meowing continue )

( glass shatters )

( groaning )

UH-OH.

Gary ( to "Blow the Man Down" ): * MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW *

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW *

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW *

WILL YOU CLAM UP?

* MEOW MEOW...

( yelps )

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW *

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW *

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW *

* MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW. *

ALL RIGHT, BOILS AND GHOULS, YOU READY? [Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

YEAH! and NICKELODEON]

* WELL... WHO LIVES NEAR A GRAVEYARD UNDER THE SEA? *

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! *

* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND SPOOKY IS HE. *

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! *

* IF NAUTICAL CHILLS BE SOMETHING YOU WISH... *

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! *

* THEN SCREAM YOUR GILLS OUT AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. *

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! *

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS!

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS!

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS!

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS!

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS, SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! * [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]

* SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS

* SPONGEBOB... SCAREDY-PANTS!