Original subtitles

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

( louder ): AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

* OH...

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE. *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH... *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* READY? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

( laughs heartily )

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION ( plays airy tune )

and NICKELODEON]

( breathes deeply and sighs )

WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY.

THE SUN IS OUT, THE WATER IS SHIMMERING

SCALLOPS ARE CHIRPING.

SO PEACEFUL.

CAN WE LOWER THE VOLUME, PLEASE!

I CAN'T WORK WITH ALL THAT RACKET GOING ON.

OH, SURE THING, SQUIDWARD.

( mutters ): RIGHT, HMM.

OKAY.

( taps lightly )

( clarinet squeaks, bubbles gurgle )

AND NOW FOR SOME SOOTHING SOUNDS FROM SQUIDWARD'S CLARINET.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

( inhales loudly )

( playing basic notes offkey )

( banging noisily )

( angrily ): I THOUGHT I... HUH?

HEY, SQUIDWARD, WANT TO BLOW SOME BUBBLES?

ONLY 25 CENTS.

OH, RIGHT, LIKE I WOULD SPEND A MOMENT OF MY TIME

BLOWING BUBBLES.

UH-HUH.

OH, PLEASE!

I MEAN, WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD PAY TO BLOW BUBBLES?

GOOD MORNING.

( startles then shouts )

OH, BOY.

GOOD MORNING TO YOU, SIR.

WOULD YOU CARE TO BLOW A BUBBLE?

OH, HOW MUCH IS IT?

ONLY A QUARTER.

SOUNDS REASONABLE.

( quietly ): UH... I'M GOING TO NEED TO BORROW A QUARTER.

SURE THING, PATRICK.

AH! ONE QUARTER.

THANK YOU.

( mutters )

BUSINESS IS BOOMING.

( laughs )

HOW DID I EVER GET SURROUNDED BY SUCH LOSER NEIGHBORS?

( plays squeaky jazz melody )

ONE BUBBLE WAND, DIPPED AND READY TO GO.

OOH!

( inhales loudly )

( lips sputtering )

( sputtering continues )

( glass shatters )

( sputtering continues )

( coughs and wheezes )

( sputters )

( Patrick pants and sputters )

( panting )

COULD I INTEREST YOU IN SOME LESSONS?

ONLY 25 CENTS.

UH... VERY WELL, THEN.

HEY, SPONGE, CAN I BORROW ANOTHER QUARTER?

THANKS.

OKAY, PATRICK, IT'S ALL IN THE TECHNIQUE.

FIRST GO LIKE THIS.

SPIN AROUND-- STOP!

DOUBLE-TAKE THREE TIMES-- ONE, TWO, THREE.

THEN PELVIC THRUST.

WHOO!

WHOO!

STOP ON YOUR RIGHT FOOT.

DON'T FORGET IT!

NOW IT'S TIME TO BRING IT AROUND TOWN.

BRING IT AROUND TOWN.

THEN YOU DO THIS

THEN THIS AND THIS, THEN THAT AND THIS

AND THAT AND THIS AND THEN...

( puffs gently )

( air puffs again, then again )

OOH!

AH!

( guffaws )

AH!

( guffaws )

OH!

( foghorn blows )

HUH?

AND NOW... WITH TWO HANDS.

( Patrick guffaws )

IT'S A GIRAFFE.

( Patrick guffaws uncontrollably )

( Patrick still guffaws )

( elephant trumpets )

( grunts )

( tentacles squirming )

EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WE ARE CLOSE...

DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THAT.

HOW COULD YOU TWO POSSIBLY MAKE ALL THIS NOISE

JUST BLOWING BUBBLES?

WE'RE NOT JUST BLOWING BUBBLES; WE'RE MAKING BUBBLE ART.

WATCH CAREFULLY.

FIRST GO LIKE THIS.

SPIN AROUND-- STOP!

DOUBLE-TAKE THREE TIMES-- ONE, TWO, THREE.

THEN PELVIC THRUST.

WHOO!

WHOO!

STOP ON YOUR RIGHT FOOT.

DON'T FORGET IT!

NOW IT'S TIME

TO BRING IT AROUND TOWN.

BRING IT AROUND TOWN.

THEN YOU DO THIS, THEN THIS

AND THIS, THEN THAT AND THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THEN...

( puffs gently )

THAT'S NOT ART.

THAT'S JUST ANNOYING.

BLOWING BUBBLES.

THAT'S THE LAMEST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD.

Squidward: YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

( chuckles ): BUBBLES.

( chuckles, mutters )

ART.

BUBBLES.

( mutters ): RIDICULOUS.

( sniffs )

( takes deep breath )

THAT'LL BE 25 CENTS, SIR.

( yelps ): WHOA, WHAT?

Squidward: OH!

WHO WOULD PAY 25 CENTS TO BLOW BUBBLES?!

WE ALSO OFFER LESSONS FOR BEGINNERS.

BEGINNERS?

WHAT COULD BE MORE SIMPLE

THAN BLOWING A STUPID BUBBLE?

HERE'S YOUR 25 CENTS.

WATCH AND LEARN.

( blows )

UH... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

( blows )

ONE MORE TIME.

HERE, WAIT, WAIT.

( inhales deeply )

( sputters )

( yelps ) WHOA!

( both whistle )

AAH, JUST A MERE WARM-UP.

( sputters )

HEY, SQUIDWARD, REMEMBER THE TECHNIQUE.

TECHNIQUE-- YOU DO THIS AND THIS.

STEP BACK.

Patrick: TECHNIQUE, SQUIDWARD.

SPIN AROUND LIKE THIS.

OVER HERE.

ONE, TWO, YEAH, THREE...

THE PELVIC WHOO!

( sputters )

DON'T FORGET THE "WHOO"!

Patrick: LISTEN TO SPONGE.

SpongeBob: TECHNIQUE!

TECHNIQUE! TECHNIQUE!

TECHNIQUE!

TECHNIQUE! TECHNIQUE!

TECHNIQUE! TECHNIQUE!

TECH...

YOU'RE NOT DOING THE TECHNIQUE.

TECHNIQUE! TECHNIQUE!

TECHNIQUE, TECHNIQUE, TECHNIQUE, TECHNIQUE, TECHNIQUE!

FIRST I DO THIS.

SPIN AROUND, STOP.

DOUBLE-TAKE THREE TIMES.

AND HERE WE GO, PELVIC THRUST.

WHOO!

WHOO!

OH, STOP ON YOUR RIGHT FOOT.

DON'T FORGET IT!

THEN BRING IT AROUND TOWN.

AND A LITTLE OF THIS, A LITTLE OF THAT

( screams ): A LITTLE OF THIS, THIS, THAT, THAT, THAT, THAT, THAT, THEN...

( screaming maniacally )

WOW! WOW!

ALL RIGHT, SQUID!

THAT WAS SO GOOD!

SQUID IS NUMBER ONE.

I REALLY DID IT, DIDN'T I?

YEAH-- YOU GUYS DIDN'T BLOW ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

SpongeBob: NOPE.

NOW, THAT'S A BUBBLE.

YOU SAID IT, SQUIDWARD.

SEE, IT IS ALL IN THE TECHNIQUE.

YEAH, TECHNIQUE.

TECHNIQUE? HUH!

SPONGEBOB, YOU DON'T THINK I CREATED

THAT... ( kisses noisily ) BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART

WITH YOUR HELP.

( cackles )

COME ON, IT'S IN MY GENES.

( chanting ): SQUID'S GOT GENES.

SQUID'S GOT GENES...

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

( clarinet playing snazzy tune )

( playing in tune )

Both: SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD...

SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD...

Both: SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD...

I ROCK.

SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD...

SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD.

SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD.

SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD.

SQUID, SQUID, SQUIDWARD! SQUID, SQUID, SQUIDWARD!

SQUID, SQUID, SQUIDWARD! SQUID, SQUID, SQUIDWARD!

Patrick: SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD

SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD...

SQUIDWARD... ( grunts )

( concerned ): SQUIDWARD!

Both ( concerned ): SQUIDWARD!

SQUIDWARD! SQUIDWARD!

( plays final notes to melody )

HELLO, MY FRIENDS.

YOU ARE LOOKING AT A...

Both ( shouting ): SQUIDWARD...

GENIUS.

( bubble pops, air sputters, ocean rumbles )

WOW! WOW!

( clarinet plays squeaky notes )

Narrator ( with French accent ): AHH... GOO LAGOON--

A STINKY MUD PUDDLE TO YOU AND ME

BUT TO THE INHABITANTS OF BIKINI BOTTOM

A WONDERFUL, STINKY MUD PUDDLE.

( sighs )

WHAT A GREAT DAY!

HEY, SANDY, LOOK!

I'M SANDY!

( chuckles )

( in deep voice ): HEY, SANDY, WHO AM I?

( laughing )

( phone rings )

HELLO, SPONGEBOB.

COULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN?

I'M TRYING TO BE BORING.

( laughing )

SPONGEBOB.

( laughing )

( doorbell rings )

DID ANYONE ORDER 20 PEPPERONI AND SAND PIZZAS?

( both laughing )

Deep voice: HEY, SANDY.

HEY, SPONGEBOB.

HEY, LARRY.

YOU GUYS WANT TO GO LIFT SOME WEIGHTS?

SURE.

WELL, COME ON, SPONGEBOB.

COMING.

( grunting and groaning )

GIVE IT A TRY, SANDY.

( grunts )

( groaning )

EE-YAH!

( applause )

WHOA!

GOOD JOB, SANDY.

THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH FOR TODAY.

Larry: HOW ABOUT A LITTLE MORE WEIGHT?

OBSERVE.

YAH!

( cheering and whooping )

ALL RIGHT, STAND BACK, EVERYONE.

Y'ALL WATCH THIS.

EE-YAH!

( cheering )

( creaking )

( crash )

( groaning )

WAY TO GO, LARRY!

( crowd cheering )

COULD I BORROW A COUPLE OF THESE?

MM-HMM.

SpongeBob: AND NOW, WITH THE ADDITION

OF TWO-- COUNT' EM, TWO-- MARSHMALLOWS.

( cracking )

( whirring )

( squeaking )

( creaks )

( exhales loudly )

( straining squeal )

( snoring )

( groaning )

( cowbell clanging )

( grunting )

( cloth ripping )

( all gasp )

( gasp )

( all laughing )

THAT WAS TOO FUNNY.

YOU ARE HILARIOUS!

AIN'T HE THE FUNNIEST LITTLE SPONGE

YOU EVER SAW?

ANYBODY UP FOR SOME VOLLEYBALL?

( crowd cheering )

I GOT IT!

( crowd groans, cowbell clangs )

INCOMING.

( crowd booing )

( pants rip )

OOPS!

I GUESS I RIPPED MY PANTS AGAIN.

( crowd laughing )

ONCE AGAIN, DUDE, YOU HAVE SPLIT MY SIDES.

( laughing )

HEY, SANDY!

HOW ABOUT THROWING IT TO ME?

OKAY, HERE IT COMES.

( Frisbee whirring )

( cuckoo sings )

I COULD USE A HAND HERE.

( giggles )

YOU OKAY, SPONGEBOB?

I GUESS SO... EXCEPT I RIPPED MY PANTS!

( all laughing )

YOU STILL CAUGHT IT, DUDE.

( footsteps squeaking )

MAY I HELP YOU?

I'LL TAKE A BANANA SPLIT.

UH... WE DON'T HAVE THAT.

THAT'S OKAY.

I ALREADY... SPLIT MY PANTS, GET IT?

( giggling )

( bored ): TEE-HEE.

ANYTHING ELSE?

HOW ABOUT...

RIPPLE?

( giggling )

NO, THANKS, ALREADY GOT ONE.

( laughing )

( footsteps sproinging )

IS THAT A BURGER YOU'RE EATING?

WHY, YES, IT IS.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD GO GOOD WITH THAT?

NO, WHAT?

RIPPED... PANTS.

( rip )

( yelling )

RIPPED PANTS A LA MODE.

( rip )

SpongeBob: DELIVERY!

DID YOU ORDER 20 CASES OF RIPPED PANTS?

( laughing )

( groans disgustedly )

Announcer: SURF'S UP IN THE GOO LAGOON.

AND HERE COMES LARRY, DOING HIS TRADEMARK LAY-BACK.

THERE GOES SANDY, HANGING TEN... FINGERS, THAT IS.

THERE GOES SPONGEBOB...

( rip )

RIPPING HIS PANTS AGAIN.

( rumbling )

HEY, LOOK!

A CARDBOARD BOX WASHED UP ON THE BEACH.

HOLY FISH PASTE!

IT'S A GUY!

WHY?!

( sobbing ): WHY?!

( shrieking ): WHY?!

SPONGEBOB!

COME CLOSER.

I NEED...

I NEED...

( gasping )

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

A TAILOR.

BECAUSE I RIPPED MY PANTS.

( laughing )

( all grumbling )

Spectator: THAT KIND OF STUFF IS UNCALLED FOR.

WHAT IS THAT?

THAT WASN'T FUNNY, SPONGEBOB.

Y'ALL HAD ME WORRIED SICK.

DUDE.

( rip )

SpongeBob: SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE LOSING THEM!

THINK! YOUR PUBLIC'S WAITING.

LET'S SEE...

"LIFTING WEIGHTS-- BIG LAUGH.

"FRISBEE IN FACE-- KILLS.

"SURFING-- KNOCKS 'EM DEAD.

"PRETENDING TO DROWN...

NO."

COME ON, THINK!

I GOT IT!

HEY, EVERYBODY.

NOT RIPPED PANTS...

PANTS RIPPED OFF.

HUH?

SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE.

THERE'S A PANTS THIEF ON THE LOOSE.

( wind howling )

( voices in distance )

( party music playing )

OH, NO!

EVERYBODY'S GONE, EVEN SANDY.

SHE'D RATHER HANG OUT WITH LARRY.

OH, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

WE BLEW IT, PANTS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WE"?

OH, I DIDN'T HAVE TO BE A FOOL TO GET SANDY'S ATTENTION.

AM I THE BIGGEST LOSER ON THE BEACH?

NO, I AM.

I FORGOT TO PUT ON SUNSCREEN.

( electronic buzzing )

OUCH.

NO, I AM.

I GOT SAND IN MY BUNS.

( thunderous rumbling )

NO, I'M THE BIGGEST LOSER ON THE BEACH.

THEY BURIED ME IN THE SAND AND FORGOT ME.

All: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I LOST MY BEST FRIEND.

HOW?

* WHEN I RIPPED...

( rip )

* MY PANTS...

* I THOUGHT THAT I HAD EVERYBODY ON MY SIDE *

* BUT I WENT AND BLEW IT ALL SKY-HIGH *

* AND NOW SHE WON'T EVEN SPARE A PASSING GLANCE *

* ALL JUST BECAUSE I...

( rip )

* RIPPED MY PANTS.

* WHEN BIG LARRY CAME ROUND

* JUST TO PUT HIM DOWN

* SPONGEBOB TURNED INTO A CLOWN *

* AND NO GIRL EVER WANTS TO DANCE *

* WITH A FOOL WHO WENT AND...

( rip )

* RIPPED HIS PANTS.

* I KNOW I SHOULDN'T MOPE AROUND *

* I SHOULDN'T CURSE

* BUT THE PAIN FEELS SO MUCH WORSE *

* 'CAUSE WINDIN' UP WITH NO ONE IS A LOT LESS FUN *

* THAN A BURN FROM THE SUN

* OR SAND IN YOUR BUNS.

( scratching )

( thump )

( clicking )

* NOW I LEARNED A LESSON I WON'T SOON FORGET *

* SO LISTEN AND YOU WON'T REGRET *

* BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

* DON'T MISS YOUR CHANCE

* AND YOU WON'T END UP

* LIKE THE FOOL WHO RIPPED HIS PANTS. *

( loud rip )

( audience cheering )

Sandy: SPONGEBOB!

SANDY!

YOUR SONG IS TRUE.

IF Y'ALL WANT TO BE MY FRIEND

JUST BE YOURSELF.

SPONGEBOB, THAT WAS SO RIGHTEOUS.

WOULD YOU SIGN MY PANTS?

ABSOLUTELY, BUDDY.

( rips )

( somebody whistles )

[Captioning sponsored by THE

and NICKELODEON]

[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]