Original subtitles

This is Mr. R?

Yes, Brian, that's my son, yes, yes.

What?

What do you mean he knocked up your daughter? Are you kidding me?

When? How?

He's only been off of school break for like, what, two, two or three months?

Oh my God, I am so sorry.

Are you sure it's my son?

Okay. I respect your wishes on whatever you like to do. Please keep me informed.

I'll have a very long, hard talk with him, but it sounds like it's a little

late.

Okay. I do apologize.

I'll have a talk with him, and I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to do.

Okay. Yes, ma 'am. Yes, ma 'am. Thank you. Thank you for letting me know.

Okay.

Bye -bye.

Oh, my God.

That boy is going to drive me insane.

I think this is what?

The second freaking girl? Let's see. I think he's only been home like three

months for summer vacation.

And he's already knocked up like two that I know of.

Oh, we've got to have a definite serious talk.

Definite. As soon as that boy comes home, that's it.

That's it. He's grounded.

All right, Brian.

Thanks for giving me the time of day. I know it's your summer vacation, but I'm

a little pissed off at you.

About what?

Well, let's see. I got a call this afternoon from some mother claiming that

knocked up her daughter.

This is the second call I've gotten from two different mothers within the summer

vacation of, what, you've been out two, three months?

Are you crazy?

You can't afford to take care of your own ass. How the hell are you going to

take care of two kids?

I'll get a second job.

A second job. Are you serious?

Oh, my God. Okay, you know what's going to happen?

You know how style murders are supposed to be all about fun and meeting girls

and going to the feet? Not for you.

Not for me. Not for you, honey. You're grounded.

From girls.

From girls.

You're going to stay here with me?

And no, no, definitely no girls, no friends, no parties, no, you know,

not leaving this freaking house the whole damn summer. I'm not taking a

But you're going to knock up some other chick.

I can't afford it. No, listen, you do not comply.

I will not pay your tuition for the rest of the year. That's not fair.

Very fair. My money, honey. My house, my rule.

You know, this is crazy.

Simply crazy. So, yes.

This is how it's going to go for the summer.

Sucks to be you.

What's up, bro?

Down and out.

Dude, I'm always horny. My mom grounded me from girls.

Grounded you from girls?

I knocked up another one, but still what?

Grounded me from girls, bro.

Do you know how fucking horny I am all the time?

Yeah, I can imagine.

All I see is my mom.

All the time.

The only girl I've seen.

It's horrible.

I mean, it's not that bad. She's pretty hot.

Yeah, it's my mom, bro.

Well, I mean, she's one to talk.

What do you mean?

Like the sex thing?

Why? What do you mean? Well, rumor is that she's kind of had a little thing

our circle of friends, if you know what I mean. Dude, that's not true. That's

bullshit.

Well, I mean, there are several rumors, so.

Thank you.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh,

fuck

yeah. Oh,

fuck yeah. Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah.

There we go.

What a good boy you are.

Best mom on the block.

So I've heard.

Sarah, you would not believe how hard this is.

I grounded that damn kid.

For, you know, the rest of the summer. And I'm the one who's suffering.

I can't have any guys over. I can't have sex myself.

I'm going crazy.

Yeah, you wouldn't believe it. It's like torture to me.

Oh, my God.

Do I have a story to tell you, though, when I did finally got a guy to come

and have sex?

Oh, my God.

I can't believe how long it's been since I've had some cops.

That's great.

So are we the only ones here?

Mm -hmm.

Let me go and pick my son.

It's been a while, I told you.

I'm glad you can come over just for the moment.

I like that dirty talk.

Come on.

I know what this is about.

Oh, because you got something I didn't. Wait. Is that what? Is that what it's

all about?

Yes, but I don't want to talk to it.

Look at what you're doing to me. I can't believe you came at me like that. Son,

listen.

I'm an adult, a woman, and I have needs.

You know, and this is my house. I pay rent and, you know, all that stuff.

So I just wanted to apologize because I thought you would be longer at the

store.

and you weren't. So, I do apologize if you happen to visualize and see that

of thing.

Mm -hmm.

But I'm not going to apologize for being a woman.

Gotcha. Okay?

Oh, great. That was great.

Um, I had a question to ask.

Okay. Um, met this girl on a dating site and I go hang out with her.

Are you fucking kidding me?

It was worth a try.

What? tell you mom i'll be good bullshit twice be good we

can't afford a third i can't afford a third you sure the hell can't afford a

third are you mom i need something this is so much tension building up oh my god

horrible seriously like you're just going really going crazy are you seeing

images yeah i can't have you going crazy on me or anything

I'm seeing shit. But you can't, I cannot let you, okay, okay.

We're going to have to come up with some other plan, because I'm not sending you

out there with women that, you know, that you just impregnate. You don't even

know their, what, do you even know their last name?

Are they diverse?

No. No, okay.

I have an idea.

Okay, it's far -fetched, it's out there, but just, you know, between you and I,

mom and son, adult, adult, you know.

Let me help you with your frustrations.

What do you mean?

Just my hand.

Just, you know, maybe I won't even look.

How would that be? Do you want to try that?

Yes.

Okay, but you cannot tell anyone. Why would I tell someone? Okay, well,

you're a teenager, and that's what you like to do in college.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, my mom.

Okay, okay, I understand, I understand. Okay, okay, so, okay.

Okay, hand.

Yeah? Okay, hand. Let's come on out, kiddo.

All right. Oh, look. We match.

Yeah? I'm green.

Okay.

So do you want me to look or? I don't know. Just. Is my hand cold?

It is cold. Okay.

Mom, this is not going to cut it.

What do you mean it's not going to cut it? I mean, just give it a moment. Shh.

Think. Happy thoughts.

Think. Think.

Happy thoughts.

Come on.

This is not going to cut it, Mom.

I see.

What's the problem?

It's your hand. I'm used to.

Mouth or pussy?

Okay, we're not going to pussy as you put it. Okay.

Okay, we can try the mouth.

All right.

Oh, my Lord.

Okay.

You know what's going on.

What are you talking about? Your dick hits hard.

I know.

You're not going to come?

No.

Now I'm stumped. Now what?

I don't know.

I'm not going to tell anybody.

Of course not. We already established that.

Let me just have some sex.

You're really good at this, Mom.

All right, fine.

Have sex.

You have a condom, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

How are we going to do this?

Like, well, how do you like it?

I guess you'd say. Do you like tits? I really want you to come.

I don't know how long we can do this for.

I don't either.

Okay, now what?

I don't know.

Okay, I'm a little nervous.

There we go.

You're sexy.

I mean, good looking.

Wow,

am I supposed to like it?

I don't know.

Are you?

I don't know.

It's going to relieve the tension.

See how wet I am.

Wow.

Hey, Mom. Mom.

Hey, honey.

I guess you used the same box of condoms that you did the other girls, huh?

You're going to be a daddy. What do you think?