Original subtitles

JUDITH: Hey, girlfriend.

I'm so bored. When can we get out of here?

Judith, what are you doing

alive?

Waiting for you.

Come on.

Joanith can be together all day.

You know you want to.

(SIGHS)

I have to work, Judith.

JUDITH: Don't be scared, Jo-Jo. Come on.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(JOAN SHRIEKING)

(LAUGHING)

(CLOCK TICKING)

(MOANS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

ADAM: Oh, great. Another chance for us

to feel like a sub-defective.

LUKE: Fighting over balls, adding muscle mass

for no socially productive use.

It's an evolutionary anomaly.

Freidman tried gymnastics.

Yeah, and almost lost his jewels on the vault.

(LAUGHS) Where is he, anyway?

He's on a cruise with his family,

celebrating his grandmother's new kidney.

Oh, hey, guys. Hey.

Oh, um...

Listen, Fran called,

and she said that they finished Judith's headstone.

I told her I'd see if any of you wanted to come along. (LAUGHS)

Sure.

I'm sorry. Judith would just think that's lame.

What, going to look at a rock?

HELEN: Well, it's up to you.

We're going to the cemetery Thursday after school.

I can drive anyone who's interested.

Cool. Thank you.

Okay.

(SIGHS)

Oh, come on, don't you think that's dumb?

Meet you after school?

You'd better.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

See you later. Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, later.

Hi, Joan.

GIRL: Oh, who's that?

Do girls always hit on you with that look?

Oh, they do. Hitting on God? That's gross.

I'd like you to do something that scares you.

Uh, lots of things scare me.

You, actually. You scare me.

Care to be a little bit more specific?

For me, that's pretty specific.

And I still can't ask why.

You can ask...

(CHUCKLES)

Hi. Tommy Belkin.

I'm captain of the diving team.

You can call me Captain Tommy.

You interested in diving?

One-meter low board?

Three-meter high board?

Springboard?

(CLICKS TONGUE) Well,

Captain Tommy... (CHUCKLES)

I was watching the Olympics,

you know, as I flipped my way to MTV Cribs.

Um, so, tell me,

is the high board still really... high?

Are you kidding me?

(LAUGHING) Re... Really high?

♪ What if God was one of us?

♪ Just a slob like one of us

♪ Just a stranger on the bus

♪ Trying to make his way home

♪ Just trying to make his way home

♪ Just trying to make his way home

♪ Just trying to make his way home ♪

Are we playing Twister?

Oh, you look so nice.

Is that a new sweater?

And a liter of cologne?

Oh, I smell romance.

Someone's in a disturbingly good mood.

Got to enjoy the good days.

(SNIFFS)

Who bathed in Drakkar?

It said, "Apply liberally."

Pardon me for following directions.

Kevin has a date with Beth tonight.

Spokeswoman. Cool.

Makes it so much easier than talking for myself.

Hey, and what's with you and the diving team?

Coach Keady mentioned she saw your name

on the try-out list.

Wait, you're trying out for diving?

Yes, I am trying out for diving, Luke.

But you're afraid of heights.

Mom, do you want me to be scared for the rest of my life?

If you have vertigo,

you can lose your balance, fall, hit your head.

Helen.

Look, the school shouldn't allow

something that dangerous.

Good for you, sweetheart.

Luke, you should do it, too. You loved diving

when we used to go to that pool in Farrington.

Will...

Luke in a Speedo. They don't make enough blindfolds.

KEVIN: Dad, you're thinking of me.

Uh, Luke was terrified.

No. No, actually, I was just afraid I'd never be as good as you.

You should get back into it.

He's not interested.

We're just talking.

Haven't we all had enough to deal with lately?

Jumping a thousand feet into a puddle is ridiculous.

Actually, Mom, they replaced the puddle with a swimming pool,

because kids were getting muddy.

(LAUGHING)

You, of all people, should understand caution.

JOAN: All right. Mom, it's just diving, okay?

See you. Don't want to be late for my...

Lion Tamer's Club.

CARLISLE: So, guy's a street de.

Narcs set up a sting, arrest him. Routine.

On a hunch, they give him the location of Judith Montgomery's murder,

and the type of X.

Offer him a deal in case he has anything.

He describes a guy he knows.

So, you're saying he identified the same guy Ryan Peters did?

To the birthmark on his cheek.

Joey Edwards. Street-level dealer.

Narcs know him.

Did he catch you up?

Well, it just got better.

The guy's been AWOL since the girl's murder.

I'll get a warrant, send a couple of uniforms to bag his apartment.

If I can get your okay.

Oh, gee, let me think...

Yes. I think I'll be giving you a blank check on this.

So, the woman, I mean, she's maybe,

I don't know, 5-foot, 90 pounds,

heaves the chair at this giant of a guy,

who's cheating on her,

and hits him right in the temple, and he just loses it.

So, if it wasn't for the guys restraining him...

Wait. Wait. Wait. Why are we talking about the Jerry Springer Show?

Modern day David and Goliath.

Look, it's about courage

and our overwhelming need to confront odds.

So, shouldn't there be a part

where David's mother tells him how dangerous it's gonna be?

I mean, where's the part that urges caution?

It's like the Bible was written by Johnny Knoxville.

Oh, you like Jackass, too?

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

Did you see the one where, uh, Steve-O,

he put chicken in his pants,

and the alligators were, like, snappin' at him and he was...

No. We're not, uh, riffing on this one now, are we?

We just buried one of Joan's friends.

I can't see Kevin getting in a car without thinking about...

I...

Why does God put kids in harm's way?

Why would he do that?

Hey, why does he always put a cigarette machine in front of me

when I'm trying to stop?

Look, Helen,

the truth is,

we never get out of school.

There's always another test

that we're afraid we'll fail.

It's natural to be a little pissed at the teacher.

♪ It's all right ♪

So, we got home from the bat mitzvah.

She drags out the photo album,

and gets totally hammered while narrating

the complete Polansky family history, starting in Poland.

I heard her even through the headphones in my room.

Uh, I don't know how you just put up with that.

She's my mother. Like I have a choice?

Grace, isn't that what your bat mitzvah was all about?

Taking responsibility?

Hey, you don't wanna go there, dude.

Of all people, I'd think you would have the courage

to make her get help.

What... What are you so afraid of?

What the hell do you know about courage, dude?

You hide in your head.

You're obsessed with science and formulas and mind games,

so that you don't really have to live.

I mean, have you ever taken a risk? Ever?

Grace...

The most you're ever gonna be is a pathetic science teacher

who never really went for what he really wanted.

TOMMY: ...14, 15, 16...

(GLYNIS GRUNTING) ...17...

Feel the pain, Miss Figliola?

GLYNIS: Definitely do.

TOMMY: ...19... Higher, Miss Girardi.

This isn't gym class. I can punt you out of here on a whim.

TOMMY: ...22, 23,

24, 25...

(GROANING LOUDLY) Six!

COACH KEADY: And relax.

(JOAN EXHALES)

Hey, you want a stomach like this,

you're looking at 200 of those a day, not to mention sit-ups.

(GRUNTS)

I think I'll do most of mine at home, that way,

when I get here, I'll only have a few left.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Can I help you, Mr. Girardi?

LUKE: Yeah, I'd like to try out for the team,

uh, if I'm not too late.

You are. Go away.

Clamp it, female Girardi.

He's totally copying me!

I am not.

Sibling rivalry. Healthy motivator.

The Williams sisters, the Carpenters,

Donnie and Marie, not so much.

Grab a spot on the floor, Mr. Girardi.

(SNAPPING FINGERS)

JOAN: (WHISPERING) Hey! You!

You're going down.

Okay, dive rolls.

Ten of 'em. Find a clear path.

And...

One, two... (BOY GRUNTS)

TOMMY: ...three...

(GRUNTS) Here we go.

TOMMY: ...four... (GRUNTS)

(STRAINING) Coach... Coach Keady...

I'm stuck.

Okay.

(JOAN GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(MOUTHING)

(LIVELY CHATTER)

(SIGHING) Do you wanna finish mine?

KEVIN: Mmm, please.

If I eat any more grease, I'll be flammable.

(CHUCKLES)

So how's school going?

Mmm, great.

I mean, you know, as great as studying economic structure

using linear algebra could be.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Um, I'm really glad you wanted to come eat

(CHUCKLES) bad food with me.

Oh, me, too.

(BOTH LAUGH)

You know, I, um...

I stared at the phone for, like, an hour

before I called you.

Um...

Kevin...

Uh...

Is it, uh...

Of course not.

How could you even go there?

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Hey, it is the one big thing

that's changed since we were together.

I mean, I'd...

I'd understand...

Kevin, it's been two years.

We can't just pick up like it was yesterday.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I thought that maybe this was, uh,

a date.

Maybe I thought it was a date, too.

I just need time.

Before the water evaporates, Miss Girardi.

I can't!

(LAUGHTER)

JUDITH: It's okay, Jo-Jo.

So, you gonna dive, or what?

(SCOFFS SOFTLY)

Great.

Now you're gonna get on me about this, too?

Just let yourself go. You can do it.

(WHIRRING)

No! Stop it!

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

Stop it! I can't! Stop!

Please stop it! Don't! I can't!

I can't do it! Please stop!

(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)

(GASPS)

Who knew I'd love the narcs?

They found our guy? No. His supplier.

Vladimir Karpovich.

They're waiting to take him down

to see if he gave them someone higher up the food chain.

But we're taking him now because he'll lead us to where Edwards is.

Couple of narcs are outside his place waiting for us.

What?

Kevlar. Guy's got company.

Does small arms on the side.

Hell of a businessman.

Okay, tadpoles,

swan dives off the low board.

Keep 'em simple and straight.

Line up!

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

Beasley, go!

(CHUCKLES)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

COACH KEADY: Figliola.

(LAUGHTER)

Don't do that.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Female Girardi.

♪ No one cares about the clothes you're wearing

♪ No one cares about the lines you draw

♪ All they notice is you're... ♪

(LAUGHTER)

Definitely don't do that!

(COUGHING, GASPING)

Male Girardi. (JOAN COUGHS)

Don't emulate. JOAN: Ow. Ow. Ow.

(JOAN COUGHS)

Ow. (GROANS)

Ow.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

COACH KEADY: Mr. Girardi?

(JOAN GROANING)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Mr. Girardi, I'm not known for my patience.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Mr. Girardi.

BOY 1: Come on, man up, Girardi.

LUKE: I don't... I don't feel well.

BOY 1: Yeah, right. I'm sorry.

BOY 2: Scared of sharks. BEASLEY: Don't forget to adjust your bra, Girardi!

(LAUGHTER) COACH KEADY: Button it, Beasley.

Okay. Miss Palmer.

(INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER)

Gum?

No, thanks.

Hey, take it easy.

Guy actually has to understand his Miranda rights.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Girardi.

LUCY: (OVER CELL PHONE) Will, i,

as it turns out,

there's five guys, maybe more in there.

So, I'm sending in SWAT.

I want you to come on back to the station.

You want SWAT, fine, but this is my case. I'm making the arrest.

No, you're following orders,

and I want you to come on back to the station.

Do you copy that?

Yeah, but we're already here.

I'm running the scene now. You signed off on it.

I am your commanding officer, Detective Girardi,

and I am telling you to get your ass back to the station right now,

or I will suspend you.

Do you copy that?

Yeah. I copy.

CARLISLE: What's goin' on?

(LAUGHING HEARTILY)

Oh, great dive, Joan.

(SIGHS) God mocking humans?

That's nice.

Belly flop. Eternally funny.

Nothin' I can do about it. (LAUGHS)

Funny? Look at me. I'm a beat.

Yeah. (LAUGHING)

But the low board doesn't scare you.

You didn't dream about the low board.

If I did a belly flop from the high board, I could have exploded.

I take physics. I know these things.

And don't mess with my dreams.

Using Judith to get me to do this... (SIGHS)

If there was someone over you,

you would be in a lot of trouble.

(LAUGHING)

(SIGHS, LAUGHS)

(GROANS SOFTLY)

But they arrested the guy, and you still get to interview him, right?

Yeah. When he lawyers up.

So, what does it matter who actually slapped the cuffs on him?

It's my case, Helen.

So? In a dangerous situation,

your boss chose caution

over putting you at risk?

I don't even like her,

and that sounds like a good call to me.

You don't understand.

I shouldn't have said anything.

Oh. So,

I don't get to have an opinion?

You're just gonna keep running around busting down doors

without a thought that you have a family

that might actually want you to stay alive?

Helen, what just happened?

I'm scared.

Okay? I'm scared.

Okay. I'll be careful.

It's not just that. It's...

It's Kevin and the lawsuit.

It's Joan going nuts from Lyme disease.

It's... Judith.

Everything.

Every time the phone rings...

I know we've been hit with a lot, but... (SIGHS)

I can't talk about this with you.

Helen?

I can't.

You won't understand.

No, I won't. Not if you shut me out.

It's God.

I'm... scared of God.

Okay?

I'm afraid of what he'll do next.

Oh. Hey.

Hey.

I didn't think I'd find anyone still conscious.

Beth on the brain.

(KEVIN CLEARS THROAT)

She, uh, isn't sure about us.

She needs time.

I'm sorry.

What do you think of that?

Needing time?

It's normal.

Means she really cares about you.

Okay.

So what exactly happens during this... time?

She searches her heart,

and she thinks about her life,

and what the future would look like with you

and without you.

Girls really think about all that, huh? (CHUCKLES)

We can spend two hours thinking about shoes.

Man, guys are just, like, either into a girl or not.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

You know, it's just,

when I'm thinking about her, I...

I get this dull ache in my gut,

and it only goes away when I'm with her.

The wound that can only be healed

with the sword that inflicted it.

(CHUCKLES) Mmm?

It's the troubadours.

They wrote that the only person that can heal that wound

is the one who caused it.

You know you have to do it, Jo-Jo.

(SCOFFS SOFTLY)

Why? Have you been talking to God?

We know you can do it, Joan.

I should have known.

Just let go.

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

(DOOR CREAKING)

(LUKE GRUNTING)

Luke, you're not naked, are you?

No.

(GRUNTING)

Wow.

Dedication.

You feeling better?

I wasn't sick.

Look, if you're still trying to prove yourself against Kevin...

Grace accused me of being a coward.

Grace rags on everybody.

She's right.

I couldn't dive because I was afraid I'd look stupid.

Hey, if I let that stop me, I'd never do anything.

You know, I've structured my whole life to be risk-free,

never allowing for a situation where I might fail.

So, I've cut out whole realms of experiences

that I wanna be a part of.

I just...

I just don't wanna live half a life anymore.

(SOBS)

JOAN: Hey...

LUKE: Just forget it.

Luke, it's not like it's over for you.

Just go, okay?

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTING)

♪ Well, I burned a few bridges in my time

♪ And I've clowned around

♪ I've joked about your mama in the summertime

♪ It falls to the winter

♪ Again

♪ Uh-huh

♪ I, I climbed a mountain then I turned around again

♪ Just to reclaim my history

♪ It should remain a mystery...

Lilly Watters?

Yeah.

Am I all you expected?

Well, you're hard to miss.

Thanks. Take a load off.

Well, you guys are, uh, four for four.

How's that?

Good-looking family.

I met Kevin, too.

He could be a model.

Well, you know, for handicapped crap.

Yeah, listen, I... I'll try to make this short.

No, no. Take your time.

(SNICKERS) You saved me from spin class.

Talk about hell on Earth.

I'd just like to get to it.

Helen's probably told you,

I don't believe in God.

Anyway,

last night, Helen told me she's afraid.

(STAMMERS) Of God.

It's big for her, not something that's gonna go away on its own.

And she seemed so sad...

I don't know how to help her.

Bummer.

Yeah. It is.

I... I was hoping you could talk to her about it, you know,

get her through it. Me?

Well, you're her spiritual adviser, right?

I mean, you're the one who's leading her down this road to this God

who seems to be making her miserable.

We talk about stuff. So, talk to her.

Tell her not to be scared of your God anymore.

There's no magic switch.

Then what the hell good is a religion if she's scared of it?

Isn't the whole point of God to provide comfort?

Look, you raise some good questions...

I'm not here for a panel discussion.

I wanna help my wife.

Questions about faith and God, they're...

They're backbreakers, man.

I mean, they're filled with contradictions.

Like a cop who doesn't believe in God

asking for spiritual help.

Blows my mind.

I mean, it must mean something.

Right?

So, that's it? That's all you've got?

Pretty much.

Yeah.

So, I'm going with your mom to the cemetery.

And it's a chance to stop by my mom, too.

You know, you could come, even if you think it's dumb.

I... I can't. Um, I have to dive.

Oh, yeah.

So, um, wish me luck.

Wear a parachute.

Say hi to Judith for me.

♪ ...to confide in

Yeah.

♪ Secrets that I should keep ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

So, we still not talking?

No.

I mean,

we never were not talking.

Sure could have fooled me.

(SIGHS)

Look, you gave an order.

I was unprofessional.

It won't happen again.

Oh, and, uh, for the record,

Helen sided with you.

Caution.

She's your biggest fan now.

Well, I don't mind going head-to-head with somebody

every once in a while, you know.

I think that's healthy.

It's the passive-aggressive jerks that really piss me off.

Look, you knew I could have handled it.

Dragging me off like some damn rookie

was just wrong, and you know it.

I had to. Had to?

You had to pull one of your best officers? Why?

I don't have to explain myself to you, Detective.

Why?

Because I thought that...

I thought that if...

And I know it's part of the job,

but if something had happened, I...

Uh...

Well, don't look so surprised, Will.

Everybody has feelings.

Even me.

(TOMMY GRUNTING)

Amazing...

Transcript value.

Hardest substance on earth, ladies.

You can touch it if you want.

You better be wearing a bathing suit, Mr. Belkin.

Hey, Coach.

What'd I tell you, Tommy?

Uh, no sit-ups in front of the girls.

Won't happen again, Coach. (YAWNS)

Okay, folks.

Now it gets fun.

Strap on your oxygen masks.

Straight dive off the high board. Line up.

BOY: Whoo!

COACH KEADY: Okay.

Mr. Girardi.

Hey.

I remember you in Farrington.

You were awesome.

Glad to see you're feeling better, Mr. Girardi.

Okay. Mr. Girardi.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Dive, Mr. Girardi.

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

Mr. Girardi, if you still don't feel well,

perhaps you'd feel better on the bowling team.

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

(MOUTHING)

BEASLEY: What a dork!

Luke...

BOY: He's got a problem, man.

Don't forget to change your panties!

(LAUGHTER)

(SCREAMS)

You are out of here, Miss Girardi!

No. No, I have to do this.

Move your keister before I have you suspended.

Please, let me just take one dive.

I promise you'll never have to see me again.

Out! Now!

Now!

I'm working.

I was in the neighborhood.

Really?

No, but,

makes this easier, so go with it.

Okay.

Look, just

forget that stupid diving team.

That whole rant, that was... I was...

I mean, I...

(SIGHS) Are you gonna make me go on?

No.

Okay.

(SOFTLY) Then, uh...

I talked to my mom.

Finish your homework.

Wow, you are a slob!

I love that in a girl.

You're sick.

This is exactly like your room at home.

Same Cake sticker on your Discman,

Ben Folds Five poster.

Yes, but the bobblehead collection is new.

And very impressive.

Thank you for letting me come over.

Of course.

I just... I... I didn't know

if we were ever gonna be able to just,

you know, hang again.

So,

how's that time thing coming?

(LAUGHS)

I want you to know, as you take this time,

I'm already at pathetically

crazy about you.

Kevin...

And I want you to know that I am a different person now.

I floss every day. (LAUGHS)

Except for weekends.

But even dentists don't floss on...

Oh, God!

Man, from a simple conversation about dental hygiene...

Weird things turn you on, huh?

(GIGGLES) (CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

It's easy, Jo-Jo.

Don't let the fear hold you back.

Maybe if you had been a little more afraid, you'd still be alive.

Mmm.

No. See,

I think what my problem was...

I was running from what I was afraid of.

Don't do that.

Just surrender and...

(LAUGHS)

(GASPS)

(CLOCK TICKING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Okay, 10 minutes of stretching, people.

Find a partner.

Yeah, you wanna do... You wanna do it with me? You on, big guy?

Great. Yeah, let's go.

Mr. Girardi?

What are you doing up there?

(LAUGHTER)

COACH KEADY: Mr. Girardi, I want you off that board

right now!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(GRUNTS)

(WHOOPING TRIUMPHANTLY)

(STUDENTS CHEERING AND CLAPPING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(WHOOPING)

(LAUGHING)

(LUKE WHOOPING)

BOY: Sweet, man! Sweet!

(LUKE WHOOPING)

You're home early.

Slow day.

Supplier on Judith's case is still making deals

before he'll give up the guy who murdered her.

I'm on call.

Emily Dickinson. Uplifting.

I felt like poetry.

I heard about your little fight.

Oh, yeah?

When were you gonna tell me?

Will, I had a session with Lilly today.

Did you think she wouldn't tell me you two talked?

(CHUCKLES)

I, uh, I thought you'd get mad.

Mad?

I yelled at her.

She's very annoying.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

I've been so alone because...

(INHALES SHARPLY)

I knew how you felt.

But even with that,

you heard me.

Mmm. I'm sorry I didn't trust you.

Oh, you really are omnipresent, aren't you?

I get around.

What your brother did took a lot of guts.

Yeah, well, I had my doubts there.

Right up till the end.

Everyone does.

Fear is very powerful.

It paralyzes people.

They don't see the value in it.

In being terrified? No. We don't.

Because we're not insane.

But you saw Luke, how happy he was.

He found that other half of his life that he wanted.

You think that would have happened,

if he kept running from what he was afraid of?

Okay, okay. I'll suit up and dive.

I never said you had to dive.

Hello! You've been all over me about this.

What about the dreams?

The dreams weren't about the high board, Joan.

Wha...

You know that.

If you need to go to work...

No, no, no. It's okay. Called in.

Oh, it... It's...

It's over there.

I don't want to see her name.

The date...

Well, you don't have to, you know. We can...

No, no. I have to.

I... I have to do this part alone, though.

Okay.

I... I didn't think to bring anything 'cause...

Well, what are you gonna do with flowers?

So, um...

Things are pretty much the same,

which is weird. Um...

Although, Luke did this, uh...

This awesome dive off of the high board,

which wasn't really a "dive" dive.

It was more like

Will Ferrell falling out of a plane. (CHUCKLES)

You would have peed yourself.

Can I say that in a cemetery?

Anyway, Luke... Luke did it.

Oh, and he and, uh, Grace are a public item.

(CHUCKLING)

Ah, it's a freak show.

And you're, um...

(WHIMPERS, SNIFFLES)

(VOICE SHAKING) You're, um,

dead, and I didn't come before because, um...

(SOBBING)

I... I was so scared

that if I had to say goodbye, (SNIFFLES)

you know,

the real way where I have to admit

that I'm never gonna see you again...

(SNIFFLES)

It would hurt so much

to let go like that.

And it may never

stop, but...

(SNIFFLES)

But I have to.

(SOBS)

Goodbye.

♪ Take my hand

(KISSES)

♪ Break my stride

I love you.

♪ Make me smile

♪ For every time I've cried

♪ My hands are tied

♪ My head is reelin'

♪ My eyes have cried

♪ A million tears

♪ From wishin' you were here ♪