Original subtitles

♪ I cannot find a way to describe it

♪ It's there inside

♪ All I do is hide

♪ I wish that it would just go away

♪ What would you do You do if you knew?

♪ What would you do?

♪ All the pain I thought I knew

♪ All the thoughts lead back to you...

Jane.

Look, it's you.

And it's you.

♪ I'm unable

♪ Come and take me away ♪

I've missed... I made this.

I did all the wiring.

Okay. Wow, uh... Yeah.

Thanks.

Why?

Well, that's what we did at camp.

Crafts.

It's very good for crazy people. You're not crazy.

No, not anymore. How was your summer?

Uh...

You know, working full shifts at the hotel.

What do you want to know about plaster, grout or unclogging toilets?

And don't get me started on caulk, 'cause that's my passion.

(LAUGHING)

I got your letters.

Not enough.

Yeah. I had to keep a journal and talk to my therapist every day.

I got really sick of myself.

You know, I really thought that it was some kind of art camp.

Gentle Acres? No. (CHUCKLES)

Definitely a crazy camp.

My roommate, Darlene,

she was a compulsive hair-puller.

Not a good look.

But you had a disease.

Which made me see things that weren't there.

Which caused me to break from reality,

and then I transferred all of my anxiety onto the hallucination

and invested my "fractured perception" or something like that.

But, anyway, I'm... I'm doing well now,

which is more than I can say for Darlene. (CHUCKLES)

She looks like Vin Diesel with the pulling.

(CHUCKLES)

What are those?

Some books I read over the summer.

You know, figuring out how what happened to you

could have really happened.

You know, seeing God... Shh!

Adam... (CHUCKLES)

Nobody knows that part except for you.

Everybody still thinks that I was just talking to people, okay?

So let's drop the G word.

It's documented.

Look, visions, voices, bilocation...

Adam, Adam, Adam,

seeing him/her/it is a sure sign of crazy.

It's like the uber-sign.

Just because your therapist said so?

(CHUCKLES)

Dr. Dan never used the word "crazy."

He called it impaired perception.

Which you knew was nuts, which is why you didn't believe me.

But I believe you now. Well, I don't want you to believe me now.

Why? Because I'm sane,

and I... made all these lamps.

But what if it's possible?

It's not.

Look, Adam, you've got to get on board with this if we're gonna hang.

You seem so different.

Yeah.

'Cause I'm not crazy.

Look, I have to go.

(KISSES)

Call me later.

Jane, wait. SKATEBOARDER: Watch it there, Jane.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

♪ What if God was one of us?

♪ Just a slob like one of us

♪ Just a stranger on the bus

♪ Tryin' to make his way home?

♪ Just tryin' to make his way home

♪ Just tryin' to make his way home

♪ Just tryin' to make his way home ♪

Oh, how could I have overslept?

Oh!

Here. I made this for you.

Oh! Whoa! I, uh, thought we were done with the lamps.

No, this is... This is my thing.

Okay, but... But we have a lot of lamps.

Take the lamp, Dad, unless you want her to go nuts again.

See, you can get a lot of mileage out of the crazy thing.

I'd work it.

Stop using that word. Where's your mother?

She left early. And Luke?

Him, too.

They say where they were going?

Uh, Mom had an errand, and Luke had a thing.

They are so obviously CIA.

Hey, did you look at that golf brochure?

Yes.

Apparently, paralyzed people can play golf.

They can also surf, ski and/or sail.

We need a common activity.

So, why don't you learn how to surf, ski and/or sail?

I'm old. I'm crippled.

I can't do anything that's gonna make me look even dorkier.

Oh, Tiger Woods, he's dorky.

Yeah. Yeah!

Well, think about it.

I have to run.

You know, golf is good for crazy people, too.

Nice.

♪ She was at home and feeling fine

(BOTH MOANING)

♪ The family life it was divine ♪

You're into overtime. Five more minutes.

You've used up all your minutes.

What am I, a cell phone?

No. But you are a service provider.

(HORN HONKING)

Okay, that is definitely it.

Do I really only get five minutes a day?

Minimum. Did you even read it?

You know, actually, I was so thrown

by having to sign a confidentiality contract,

I may have skimmed.

That's your mistake. You signed.

But, look, if you're my girlfriend...

(STUTTERING) Don't start using the G word,

or the B word, or any gender-related coupling word.

That was Article 4 under Public and Private Verbalization.

What is this about?

(STAMMERING) You're ashamed of me?

Yeah. Take it or leave it.

Dude, is that your mother?

(SCOFFS) Yeah.

Great diversionary tactic.

Oh, God, that is my mother.

What is she doing here?

Who cares? Let's jet.

Hey, Hardy Boy. Whoa.

There's no chance

that you're Lilly Watters, is there?

Every chance. You Helen?

I know. It's killin' me.

The body's a temple. I know.

It's my sin.

One of 'em, anyway.

Are you okay?

Uh, Sister Lilly Watters?

Nice to meet you.

Father Ken says you're cool.

I... I didn't know that they let nuns do, uh, do that.

(CHUCKLES)

Former nun. I left.

I was not kicked out.

I left.

Oh.

Look, you remember The Sound of Music?

That's the kind of nun I was.

Only, it was surfing instead of spinning on a hillside.

(CHUCKLES)

Uh, so, you wanna be confirmed in the Church.

I'm... I'm thinking about it.

All right, well, come on.

I'm jonesing for a double espresso.

Come on!

Physics, my little anthropic coincidences,

is... everything.

Particles,

matter,

antimatter,

energy, fission,

fusion, neurons,

bosons, quarks,

neutrinos, anti-neutrinos,

dimensions, determinism,

strong force, weak force,

relativity, velocity,

chaos, order,

air, fire, water,

love, sex, death,

time, space and God!

Will the final be comprehensive?

Oh, this class is going to wow your boxers off, Mr. Freidman,

so don't you worry about the final.

Tell your brother to stop looking at me.

Grace, we're not doing this again this year, okay?

You tell him.

(RUBBER BAND THWACKS)

Is it necessary for your soul mate to assault me?

She's not my soul mate.

We don't even talk. We hate each other, in fact.

I see the way you look at her.

You're all about her.

I am not about her.

This is like arguing about Superman's pee or something.

She likes the other equipment, dude.

(RUBBER BAND THWACKS)

Hey, can you meet me on the roof after school?

No can do. I have work.

I thought you quit the bookstore.

Well, Dr. Dan said it would be good for me to stay,

you know, keep... Keep busy.

(SIGHS) You know, Dr. Dan

might not always be the final authority.

(WHISPERING) Shh! Lischak is glaring.

Listen, I made you a list.

Okay?

Adelaide Roncalli, an Italian woman.

She began having visions of the Holy Family at age seven.

Okay? John Leary,

he's a grandfather in Rochester, New York. (CHUCKLES)

Daily messages from God.

You know? (WHISPERING) What do you want from me?

I'm just saying, you're not the only one.

Adam, six weeks of crafts, and writing down my dreams,

and crying in front of strangers,

and being grilled by someone named Dr. Dan.

You're asking me to undo that? I...

I can't go back there.

I just wanna be a normal couple again, you know?

You remember normal?

(SIGHING) Not really.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

So, you wanna talk about God.

What? No.

No, I just wanna talk about, you know,

being Catholic.

So, you wanna talk about being Catholic

without talking about God.

I mean... I'm not a fanatic or anything.

(CHUCKLES)

Are you at all familiar with the Catholic doctrine?

Give me a break. I was raised in the Church.

Catholic school. Eight years of plaid.

I just wasn't confirmed in the Church.

But I'm very familiar with the whole thing,

so we could probably just, um, do the fast version,

if you have one of those.

And get right to what?

Fund-raising?

You don't have to be sarcastic.

Look, I just need to know

why you want to do this. It's part of the process.

What, you're screening people now?

What about the rest of your family?

What about them?

How do they feel about you going back to the Church?

Mmm. You haven't told them.

They'll be fine with it.

So, how often do you surf?

I... I've heard it's actually a very spiritual experience.

You know, the first step of confirmation

is not lying to your family.

It's pretty much not even a step.

So, why don't you, um, flip through this book,

decide if it's really what you wanna do,

tell your family, then we'll talk.

(LOUDLY) Okay, well, it's amazing

that you didn't fit in at the convent!

Thomas Wolfe.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

Tom Wolfe.

Not the same guy. Both very long-winded, though.

Are you talking to yourself?

Yes. But not in a way that's crazy.

You got here on time,

you did the inventory,

boxed up the remainders,

and now you're unloading stock.

What did they do to you at that camp?

Oh, not much. Just drugs, shock treatment.

I'm kidding.

Uh, so what did this, um, breakdown look like?

Uh, it wasn't really a... a breakdown.

I was just imagining things because of the... the disease that I had, so...

But not anymore. No.

Not anymore.

Did you ever think animals were reading your mind?

Not animals.

Just this one rabbit?

My wife spends a lot of time at home.

She's an artist.

She needs a hobby or a job.

I'm sure it's just temporary, the rabbit thing...

Yeah, um...

(SIGHS) Ooh.

Uh, I'm not really the go-to girl for crazy behavior.

I had a one-time thing.

I guess it's a broad spectrum.

Continuum, really.

What's normal? What isn't?

Without deviation from the norm,

(DOOR OPENING) progress is not possible.

That's Sartre.

Or Zappa. (BELL DINGING)

OLD LADY GOD: Excuse me.

Am I invisible?

Can anyone see me standing here?

We have a customer.

I... I can't. Um, I'm busy.

Can you? You're so much better with people.

The filings. On the east Nyland chop shop.

Oh, great.

Thanks.

Anything else?

How's your kid?

The one that, you know, lost it.

She didn't lose it. She's fine.

Anything else?

You gonna finish that?

(SIGHS)

Mr. Will Girardi?

Detective Girardi. Who are you?

Process server.

Oh, oh! What's this?

It's self-explanatory.

You're being sued.

Who the hell's Andrew Baker?

A disgruntled perp?

Department'll handle it.

He's the kid who drove my son home from a party.

Drunk.

You know the rest.

Yeah.

That's screwed up.

If I do this, I will seal my doom.

I will donate my genitalia to science,

and as much as I like Dad, this is just a no.

LUKE: I have to take off.

Already?

Uh, you know, I have a physics thing.

Hey, I'm in that class. I don't have a thing.

(WOMAN CHATTERING ON TV) HELEN: Honey, I have to leave early.

There are bagels, somewhere.

I have to leave early, too. I have this thing.

What is your thing? What's yours?

JOAN: I need a thing.

You can have mine after adaptive golf.

Dad, Kevin's making penis jokes,

and he doesn't wanna play golf with you. What?

Can't we look into white water river rafting?

Something wherein we could actually be killed?

That works better for me.

I vote no on the getting-killed sport.

Bye.

Don't worry about the golf thing.

Yesterday, you were all over it.

It's fine. I have to go.

(SIGHS) I'm starting to miss crazy camp.

♪ Save our lives

♪ Can't revive

♪ Your magic place is nearing hell ♪

We have to pick another place.

There's a security guard that drives around.

He's gonna tell the kids at school?

He could know people there.

You are so hyper-vigilant.

Oh, don't use big words.

You know, maybe we should just call this whole thing off.

Freidman is so obviously aware. Have you said anything?

I don't say anything to anyone.

But, you know, the... the sexual tension,

people are gonna start to pick up on it.

Did you just use "sex" in a sentence?

Did I? I'm sorry.

My mistake.

Dude, there's your mother again.

Is she, like, a drug dealer?

I have no idea.

Sister Lilly was rude to me.

Former Sister Lilly. She was rude?

Yes. And she was off-putting.

She was off-putting.

Why are you repeating everything I say?

Reruns of West Wing.

(SIGHS)

Plus, she was smoking.

Yes, smoking.

Which does not seem very nun-like.

Former nun. And let me get this straight.

Are you tattling on the former nun?

I don't like her.

Am I going to hell?

Confirmation is a long process

of learning exactly what it means

to choose the Catholic faith.

(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY ON SPEAKERS)

Maybe you're not entirely ready.

I had these dreams,

and I was suddenly aware that God is real,

and I have been ignoring him,

and I really don't think he's gonna be too happy with you,

if you try to stand in the way of that.

So, now you're threatening a priest.

Look, when I was in the Church before,

everything was very clear.

Be good. God likes it. Be bad. God doesn't.

So, you believe that Kevin's condition

and, uh, Joan's illness, for example,

are judgments brought on by your bad behavior?

That's quite vain.

You are not being very nice.

Helen, God simply doesn't work that way.

How do you know?

Because if he did, I'd be working for some big cosmic jerk,

and I'd have to find another job.

You must think he's kind of a jerk, too.

Which is why you can't bring him home.

JOAN: You know, physics is kind of cool.

I think I'm gonna like it a lot better than chemistry.

Particles. Wow. It's fission and fusion,

especially now that I understand light.

Well, lamps.

You are officially babbling.

A pastime of the mentally impaired.

Guys, hands off Freidman!

This year, okay? Please.

I am so psyched about quantum chromodynamics!

I know. It is kind of hot. (CHUCKLES)

Jane, you can't get all happy about science.

It's totally gonna mess up our dynamic.

I'm just trying to take a new approach to school, you know? Optimism.

Well, keep it to yourself.

I might have to drop the class. What?

I don't have that much time to study with the job.

Adam, you can't drop physics.

Well, I'm only taking it because of you,

and if you're gonna be all weird about it...

I'm not being weird. I'm optimistic.

You guys are doing the pukey couple thing.

The love of science is a bonding experience,

like the Curies, or Voltaire and his mistress.

Nobody's talking about bonding.

Hey, listen, guys, all I know is that physics

gets Lischak even hotter than chemistry ever could,

and that totally works for me.

Hey, Grace? I'm bettin' it works for you, too.

Spend your summer at the trough, did you, Freidman?

At least the Freidman knows which flavor he likes.

Okay, back off, dude.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm... I'm great. I...

I'm optimistic. I'm gonna... I'll meet you at the park later.

(IN SING-SONG VOICE) Cuckoo, cuckoo.

Ow.

Andy Baker was drunk.

Veered into oncoming traffic,

flipped the car,

walked away without a scratch.

After Kevin's diagnosis, lawyers approached.

Helen said, "No.

"We're not gonna punish a kid for being stupid."

Hell, we could have used the money.

All the medical bills.

Almost three years later,

they're claiming emotional damages?

I know they can't win, but it's just the idea of it.

Will, um,

Kevin called you, uh, on the phone

before he left the party that night?

Yeah. He always checked in.

And he told you that his friend Andy was drunk.

Drinking.

Kevin was not drunk, but he let Andy drive anyway?

Well, he tried to take Andy's keys away.

Hey!

(SIGHS) Hey.

My son was paralyzed.

They're gonna talk to me about emotional damages?

They really wanna take me on about that?

Their son walked away without a scratch.

What kind of people act like this?

Money's a powerful force.

Well, there's no way that they can win.

We'll give it everything we got, okay?

Meanwhile, I want you and Helen to write down everything you can remember

about the history of their friendship,

and that night in particular.

Tom, I... I cannot take this to my wife.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Oh, good. You're just in time for unified field theory.

I'm having a little trouble with it,

but it is awesome.

LITTLE GIRL GOD: All magnetic fields are the same.

All carbon atoms are the same,

as are all electrons, protons and neutrons.

It didn't have to be that way,

but it makes the universe beautiful.

Who would care about the universe being beautiful

except for a divine, benevolent entity

such as myself?

You... (CHUCKLES)

are not here.

Okay. Then you're talking to yourself.

I'm waiting for Adam.

Adam got paged to work at the hotel.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

That's him calling to tell you.

(CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

Aren't you going to answer it?

This is not happening.

(HANGS UP CELL PHONE)

Mystery is just part of the deal, Joan.

All right, I'm gonna close my eyes and I'm gonna count to ten.

Good luck with that.

One,

two,

three...

(SIGHS)

You are not real!

So people keep telling me.

(SIGHS)

♪ All the thoughts lead back to you

♪ Back to what was never said

♪ Back and forth inside my head

♪ I can't handle this confusion ♪

Okay.

I can't keep this to myself any longer.

There are gonna be speed bumps installed on Peach Street.

Two, possibly three.

A lot more than my job is at jeopardy if this gets leaked.

That's my day. Who's next?

Oh, just, you know, the usual.

Serving, protecting.

Honey?

HELEN: What?

Oh, um...

Nothing. Just back-to-school organizational stuff.

How was your thing?

Fine.

Joan? I don't have a thing.

Luke is the one with a thing.

I don't have a thing.

(SCOFFS)

Is this about me being crazy?

Because I'm not crazy,

and if everybody still feels like I am crazy,

then maybe you should just send me back to Gentle Acres

instead of tiptoeing around

like I'm having visions from God or something

because I'm not.

Nobody's saying that, honey.

(SIGHS) HELEN: You were never crazy.

Gentle Acres was a part of your physical therapy,

a chance to rest and recover.

(CRYING) May I be excused?

I need to go to my normal room

and do normal homework.

HELEN: Of course, go ahead.

You want me to do that?

No. It's relaxing.

You okay?

Look, I'll just... I'll just say it. Are you an alcoholic?

What?

At first, I thought it was drugs, that you were buying them,

because, you... You know, that's what people do outside of coffee shops.

But then I thought, "No. Get a grip.

"Who else meets in coffee shops?"

Twelve-steppers.

So, Mom, I just want you to know,

if that's what you're doing,

I'm completely supportive.

Luke, one breakdown a year

is all we can handle. You'll have to wait.

Mom, I saw you.

You were following me?

No. On the way to school.

Mocha Mike's is not on the way to school.

I went for a doughnut.

Okay, here's the deal.

You do not get to worry about my personal life,

and I get to grill the hell out of you about yours.

Let's forget this happened.

(TAP SQUEAKS OPEN, WATER TRICKLING)

What was that?

All of our children are insane.

Okay!

I'm going back to the station.

(TAP SQUEAKS SHUT) Why?

Paperwork.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)

(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)

(JOAN SIGHING IN EXASPERATION)

What are you doing?

I'm clinging to a pipe.

(SIGHS) Grace...

Seriously. Phone? Internet? Doorbell?

I do things my way.

What's happening here?

I'm working on my lamps.

I liked you better before.

Join the club.

So, quick question.

Are you in love with Rove?

Well, yeah, I guess.

Well, how do you know for sure, though?

I just said "I guess."

Well, how do you know it's not just part of the whole

psychic flameout?

Because it feels kind of like a breakdown.

Wait.

Are you in love?

No! We're talking about you.

No, no. No, it really feels like we're talking about you right now.

(SCOFFS)

GRACE: We're not.

Grace, if there's a guy...

Or not a guy.

You know, anybody, uh,

I think I should know. (SCOFFS)

I asked a simple question. Forget it.

What...

I was never here.

JOAN: Good night!

♪ I can't hear the songs he sings

♪ All the jewels in heaven

♪ They don't look the same to me

♪ I just wade the tides that turned

♪ Till I learn to leave the past behind

♪ It's only lies that I'm living

♪ It's only tears that I'm crying

♪ It's only you that I'm losing

♪ Guess I'm doing fine ♪

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(BALL BOUNCING)

(KEVIN LAUGHING)

KEVIN: Hey, Dad, jump in. I'll take you and Andy on.

What are you doing?

I'm humiliating him, Mr. G.

I told you to clean out the garage.

Look at it. You haven't started.

Yeah, we did a little.

You're supposed to finish.

That's conditional to you going to the game tonight.

Dad, it's homecoming.

You're really gonna stop me from going?

You bet your ass. You think you get a free ride around here?

Stop with the cop voice.

Look, you're not the celebrity jock in this house.

In this house you pull your weight.

Now, get on that garage before I really get mad.

Come on, dude. I'll... I'll help you.

We'll get it done.

KEVIN: Dad?

You gonna bring that in?

'Cause my speed-bump expose is in there.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

Joan. What is this?

Oh, that's a book.

What is it doing in the science fiction section?

Well, I put it there.

Invisible Man, one of the greatest postwar literary novels,

sitting in science fiction

next to The Time Machine.

Are you crazy?

It's about an invisible man.

Metaphor, Joan? Symbolism?

Where's your brain? Did you ever have one?

Are you okay?

I'm having a little stress at home.

But you're not helping.

(BELL DINGING)

OLD LADY GOD: Excuse me, young man.

You again.

Yes, I'm looking for a book.

It's just been added to my reading list for my book club, you know.

It's called One Flew over the C,

and it's about a man who pretends to be crazy

to get out of prison.

SAMMY: Yes, yes. Uh, postmodern classic. Ken Kesey.

I don't have it in stock right now,

but I can order it for you.

Oh, that would be lovely.

Heidi, what are you doing here?

I wanted to show you something.

You couldn't get dressed before you showed me something?

I'm... I'm dressed.

Why are you saying I'm not dressed?

Honey, why don't you go wait in the back room?

Because I have to show you what you made me do.

If you could just give me a moment.

HEIDI: You were always so jealous of... of me and Lucinda.

You thought she was getting in the way of our relationship

just because we had such a... (STAMMERS)

a special connection.

I'm not jealous of Lucinda. It's just that she's a rabbit.

She's a rabbit, is she? (SCOFFS)

Just a rabbit.

Well, guess what? She's not a rabbit anymore!

Are you happy now?

(HEIDI SOBBING)

SAMMY: Okay, um...

(CLICKS TONGUE)

You know what? We're closed. Uh...

Out.

(LOCK CLICKS SHUT)

HEIDI: Is it all better now, Sammy?

Did I fix the problem?

Now I... I can give you my complete attention.

Lucinda doesn't talk anymore.

She understood me, but now she's gone,

and I'm all yours.

Are you listening?

I'm all yours!

(SOBBING)

KEVIN: I can't stand to see a grown man pouting.

LUKE: Dad's pouting?

You haven't noticed how quiet he's been?

That's a prolonged pout.

So, I'll strap myself to a buggy and swing a club.

A little humiliation never killed anybody.

Is there hard evidence of that?

Who is she?

What?

Sneaking out of the house.

Excessive aftershave.

Listening to Norah Jones.

Now a bitter reference to humiliation.

There's no girl.

It's Grace, isn't it?

(GOLF BALL CLATTERING) MAN: Hey!

You cannot tell anyone.

Why?

Because the whole agreement is based on secrecy.

One tiny leak, and the entire thing blows up and goes away.

(CHUCKLING) You're sworn to secrecy?

(SIGHING) I signed a contract.

Dude! I had no choice!

You want this relationship so much,

you're willing to completely degrade yourself?

Well, yeah.

It's not so much a relationship as it is occasional making out.

How occasional?

Five minutes a day.

(CHUCKLING) Dude. Minimum.

I can't help it, man. She makes me insane.

I'm a complete stranger to myself.

You got to confront this.

She wants you, or she wouldn't be in it.

And no matter what they say,

women want us to be men.

They don't like it when we back down.

It makes them nervous.

Really?

She's waiting for you to stand up.

Do it! You're a Girardi man.

Let her know what that's about.

What's wrong? Nothing.

I'm seeing a nun and a priest.

Uh, why don't we go somewhere more private?

I... I hate lying to you, but I...

Ever since Joan got sick,

I've been thinking about God,

and I wanted to reexamine the idea of going back to the Church.

I... I was just gonna not bother you with it,

but that feels more like lying,

and that feels like being disconnected from you,

and that feels like hell, so I'm telling you now.

I'm, uh, really not open to this right now.

I know. You never have been.

But it's not gonna bother you at all.

You... You won't even know it's happening.

I can't not know what's happening, Helen.

And I really can't take it right now.

Look, I've never been more certain in my life

that we're all just at the mercy of an indifferent universe.

There is no God.

There is no justice.

There is no grand place we're gonna eventually get to.

It's just one body blow after another

and struggling to find a reason to get up and do it again.

What happened?

Nothing happened.

Th... This is who I've always been.

Look... Look, I have to get back to work.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Grace?

You're dead.

(MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES)

Hi.

I can't hear you. But you can see me.

I'm ignoring you.

I'm used to that.

Okay, look. I've got a lot of time on my hands.

I'll be in the religion section.

(KNIFE CHOPPING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

I'm sorry.

That's not gonna cut it.

I'm really sorry.

Is this gonna take jewelry?

I'll tell you something, Will.

You said you've always been this way,

but I did not recognize the man I saw today.

I had no earthly idea who he was,

or what he was gonna do next.

The Bakers are suing us.

What?

Andy Baker

is suffering emotional damages,

it seems.

Finding it hard to work.

Half a million dollars is gonna take care of that, though.

(SIGHS)

I never wanted you to hear it.

I wanted to make it go away,

so that you never had to know

that the boy who crippled our son...

Oh, Will...

...and who we never punished for crippling our son,

is now coming after us

like a common predator.

Oh, no, Will!

Hey, guys. Uh, sorry to interrupt,

but we have a very special presentation in the garage.

Not... Not now, Luke. LUKE: Uh, yes, now.

Let's go. Move it.

(SIGHS)

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I present

to you

golf of the future.

Stand back, please.

(CLEARING THROAT)

(CLANGING)

That was my warm-up swing.

(KEVIN CLEARS THROAT)

Okay, but you have to admit that the shoes are hot!

However, I am slipping.

LUKE: You're slipping? KEVIN: Going down. Help.

Oh! Just...

(GOLF BALLS CLATTERING) Ow! Oh, dude.

Oh, this worked a lot better in the store.

Don't step on my shoes! (LAUGHING) Would you help me?

I can't fight gravity.

Stop it! Just... Just stop.

Stop!

Dad, we'll figure it out.

Dad!

(PANTING)

We're closing. Everybody, get out.

Where's Sammy?

Oh, he had a family emergency.

I'm covering.

You want me to walk you home? Nope.

Why not? Because you're not real.

Then why are you talking to me?

You know I'm real, Joan.

You've always known you're not crazy,

then you got a chance to see what it really looks like.

Crazy is destructive. It tears down.

I'm all about building up.

Then I suggest you take up carpentry.

What do you think this is all about?

Uh, you, I suppose.

It's a creation, Joan.

It's not a destruction.

And that's what I want you to do.

I want you to be creative. I want you to build things.

I build lamps!

Relationships, possibilities, connections.

Look, have you read this?

You stole that!

Well, technically, everything's mine.

It's about a house called Howards End.

The house is symbolic.

Yes, I know. I read it in lit class.

All these English people running around,

misunderstanding each other because of their manners.

Everything goes horribly wrong,

just like in every English novel.

You know,

I like what's written at the beginning here. Would you read it for me?

"Only connect."

(VOICE SHAKING) You hurt me.

Really bad.

Why should I trust you again?

Why did you ever?

Look, we had some good times.

And I'm fine with you being, you know,

the divine It.

But I don't want to see you anymore.

It's not you. It's me.

I... I'm just... I'm not the girl for you.

I... I had

a taste of normal,

and I really liked it, you know?

I really enjoyed being optimistic,

and making my lamps. (SNIFFLES)

Don't you miss me a little?

Nope.

(SNIFFLES)

Please go.

Do you miss yourself?

Because I do.

♪ All I know

♪ Is everything is not as it's sold

♪ But the more I grow

♪ The less I know

♪ Then I see you standing there

♪ Wanting more from me

♪ And all I can do is try

♪ Then I see you standing there

♪ Wanting more from me

♪ And all I can do is try