Original subtitles

[Man On Radio] Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I found him. I found him.

Putnam was right. He's about three miles south of the old Butte Road.

I got it. On my way.

[Man] Son. Son.

Yeah, it's him all right. [Plane Passing Overhead]

Whoa. Whoa, son. Now just where do you think you're going, boy?

California. Sure, kid.

We all want to go to California.

My wife wants to go to California.

[Woman On Radio] Joe. Come in, Joe. You just stay put.

[Joe] Now what do you want me to do with him?

[Woman On Radio] Take him to his mother's place. She's remarried.

Her name's Christine Bateman. She lives on the south side of town.

You got that? Yeah, yeah, I got it.

Okay, son, time to go.

Upsy-daisy. Your mom's waiting for you now.

So, on these trips that he takes,

has he tried to see Corey or Nick or his natural father?

[Man] Christine!

Oh, I'm sorry. What did you say?

Look, he just- he just picks up his little lunch pail- What is in that thing-

and off he goes.

I mean, he could go anywhere: Downtown, the canyons, the river.

He doesn't go to the river. He never even goes near the river.

Okay. He stays away from the river.

But I'm telling you anytime- I mean, he could just pick up and go.

The Happy Wanderer- at the stroke of midnight, if he feels the urge, in the middle of his Frosted Flakes.

I got the neighborhood on red alert, and I'm putting the cops on overtime.

Mr. Bateman!

Though Jimmy is a heavily traumatized boy,

he has a certain fixation with building, stacking things.

These little monuments he makes,

I'd like to think that they mean something.

I'd like to think that he's searching for a way to express himself.

But you don't.

Look, we've been sending this boy here for two years.

I think it's time we started exploring some, uh, alternatives.

[Bateman] We're thinking about, uh, putting him into an institution,

a home.

[Dings]

Is that something original, Dad?

I'm tryin' to cook you guys a decent meal.

You can't be livin' off burgers and pizza.

It cannot possibly belong to one of the four major food groups.

It's a casserole, genius. Doesn't it look like a casserole?

Huh?

We saw Jimmy yesterday, Dad.

Yeah? So how is he?

They're talking about putting him in a home.

That's Christine's decision. She has custody now. You know that.

Well, I'm, uh- I'm not really too hungry. I'll grab some a little later.

I wanna know about the pickup. I found it this morning covered with mud.

You took it again. Just gimme a break, please.

- This has nothing to do with the pickup. - It has everything to do with it!

- I wanna know why you disobey me when I give you a direct order? - Why do you do this?

They're gonna put him in a home, Nick! He hasn't changed ever since Jennifer.

Come on. Dad! He doesn't do anything. He doesn't say anything.

- What about it, man? What about the rules around here? - Don't call me "man,"all right?

- What? The pickup, the rules? You always do this. - [Nick] Corey, come on.

No, Dad, will you listen to me? What, you wanna see that happen? Huh?

You wanna see 'em put Jimmy in a home? Corey-

Fine, Dad. Just because he's our half brother, he doesn't matter, right?

Cor-

Huh?

Enjoy your casserole.

[Sighs]

Ohh.

Corey? Leave me alone.

Why do you keep doin' this to yourself? It's been two years.

Yeah, what do you care? [Sighs]

Why don't you and I just go over to the Dairy Queen, huh? We'll kick back a couple.

Come on, it's on me. No.

You didn't even care about him when you had the chance.

All you care about is yourself.

[Sighs]

[Man] What bothers me is that you seem to have no respect for me...

or no appreciation for living in this house!

[Nick] What do you care about what I do anyway?

Jimmy's in a home and you don't care. If Mom was still here, she'd be-

[Man] Don't you tell me what I care about, young man. You don't care about us!

[Both Shouting, Indistinct]

[Man] You steal my pickup and now you're drinking, and I don't like it!

[Nick] A bunch? I went out a few times. Oh, you went out a few times.

[Shouting Continues]

[Man] You have no sense of responsibility for this house! [Nick] I do.

For you to carry out the trash is a big deal!

[Shouting Continues, Indistinct]

South Dakota.

- [Man] Wash my truck every once in a while. - Arkansas.

Nebraska.

California.

Come on. Let's go.

[Man On TV] ...Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

Just as those caribou were once in trouble,

so now are the largest members of the deer family.

[TV Continues, Indistinct]

[Man On TV] ... especially the calves during the first few months oflife...

when they're preyed upon by wolves who roam this region in packs.

[Man #2 On TV] The signal from the collar is monitored daily.

If the calf stops moving for two hours,

a change becomes evident in the signal, indicating death has occurred.

- [Continues] - Jimmy.

Jimmy, we're gonna do a little traveling- just you and me.

What do you think?

- California? - Yeah.

[Man #1 On TV] Now we'll follow the calf to make certain he gets back to his mother.

Yeah, California.

Come on. [Man #1 On TV] They're together again.

Do you like chocolate? Yeah.

Good. Get in.

You understand, Mr. Woods, we don't have the manpower to be pursuin' runaways,

even if the one boy is handicapped.

Hey, look, he's not handicapped. Whatever he is.

[Woman] They were seen hopping a truck.

Uh, can we get to the, uh- the point here?

Woods, your son, Corey, has taken Jimmy. They're both my sons.

Oh. Okay. Okay- [Clears Throat]

For the record, your two sons, one of whom I am legally responsible for,

have decided to eat their way across- I don't see why we're standin' here talkin' about it.

Because you are missing the point.

I have an obligation to the welfare of this child.

I have to see that he is returned here for the kind of treatment he needs.

Now, granted, the police are looking.

We've hired someone to find him-

Mr. Putnam.

[Bateman] Mr. Putnam retrieves runaways... professionally.

He's going to bring back Jimmy. What about Corey?

Well, Corey, uh, wants to run away, doesn't he?

I mean, even if we brought him back, would it do any good?

You know, Bateman, I, uh- I always knew that you were a jerk. [Door Closes]

I just, until now, thought it was guilt by association.

[Door Closes]

Pop. What?

I want to go with you. Forget it. You can get a ride back with Bateman.

[Chuckles] I don't think so. Uh, Mr. Woods. Excuse me.

Just so you know, I make my money by bringin' kids in,

and I don't make it if someone else brings the kid in first.

[Chuckles] You catch my drift?

So let's not be getting in my way, okay?

Have a nice day.

We better drop by the house, pick up some clothes.

End of the line, Ben? Yeah, it's my last stop.

[Chattering]

Come on.

Do you have to make such a pig out of yourself?

Come on.

Stay there.

Hey! Jimmy!

Hey, wait up!

[Thunderclap]

[Horn Honks]

How about that cupcake? You got plenty ofTwinkies.

Personally, I'm a Ho Ho man myself. How about you?

Okay. So, according to this...

we're in Goblin Valley.

Great.

I mean- I mean- I mean, it couldn't be Happy Valley or Wonderful Valley.

Goblin Valley.

Why not Ax Murderer's Valley? Hmm.

[Coyote Howls]

[Corey] Great.

There's a bench outside. The bus'll be here any minute. Now stay here for a minute.

[Coins Clinking]

Well, go ahead. Play.

Two tickets to California, please.

You got someplace specifiic in mind, or would you just like to be dumped at the border?

Is Los Angeles specific enough?

[Man] That's $226.

Well, we only have $27.30. Where does that get us?

Nowhere. It's $34 just to Saint George, Utah.

That's it?

[Man On Radio] Hey, Scotty, some of those high school kids are up on the ridge throwin' rocks at the highway again.

Chase 'em on home, will you? Over.

[Game Beeps]

50,000? You got 50,000 on Double Dragon?

[Car Door Closes]

Hey, Chester. Hi, Mike.

[Mike] Here's Mrs. Johnson's complaints this month. [Chester] Not again.

[Corey] How'd you do it? You only played for five minutes.

How the hell did you get 50,000 on Double Dragon?

I never got 50,000 on Double Dragon. How'd you do it? [Coins Clinking]

Hi. I'm Haley.

If you don't tell me what you're doing, I'm gonna scream.

- Uh, could you scream quietly? - What, do you think I'm stupid?

I saw you look at that cop.

What's his problem?

He's just... shy.

Shy a few bricks I'd say. [Corey] No, he's okay.

He just kicked ass on Double Dragon.

Get out of here. Him?

Yeah. He could wax your tail. No way.

- Wanna bet? - How much?

$6.70.

I don't have $6.70.

Well, that's okay, 'cause, uh, you got a bus ticket.

- You could cash it in. - [Vehicle Arriving]

[Game Beeping]

Let's see him beat that.

Come on, Jimmy.

What is he, some kind of freak or somethin'? That's it.

Hey! [Vehicle Horn Honks]

Two tickets to Saint George. You conned me.

I didn't. I won the bet. Give me that money.

[Grunts]

Great! Great.

Now I'm stuck here.

[Game Beeping]

[Woods] Hey. Hey.

Hmm? Where the hell are we?

Ohh! What is that, doughnuts?

Yeah. So? It's disgusting.

[Chuckles] From the guy who steals my pickup and stays up drinkin',

the guy with the foul mouth, that's a compliment.

Where are we? Ohh!

We're supposed to be headin' west. That's the direction the cupcake truck went.

We're headin' west.

[Chuckles] Wait a second. We're not headin' west. We're headin' south.

What the hell have you been doing? I've been drivin' the whole damn night.

I must have stopped 50 times and asked about where those kids are. Come on.

Oh, Jesus. We're on the other side of the canyons, man. Turn around.

Gimme that thing.

- Pop! Pop! - Huh?

- [Horn Honking] - Get over!

[Nick] What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?

[Haley] Look at him. He's making thejump, it's his second time through...

and he hasn't even taken a hit yet.

- He's a wizard. - So he can play Ninja Gaiden? So what?

So I got an idea.

If he can beat me, why can't he beat any old video head?

We could pick up some loose change. Are you kidding me? That's warped.

The kid's a natural. A genius. A pro. He picks it up like lint.

Why do you want to haul him off to California?

California.

I got it.

You want to go to California, and you want to prove that Jimmy doesn't belong in a home.

Do you think they'd put him in a home after he'd won this?

[Corey] A video game contest?

Haley, he's- He's what?

Too crazy? Too stupid?

He's sure not the genius you are- trying to get to California on 27 bucks.

You don't believe in him yourself.

What does this matter to you anyway? It's a business deal.

If I can get you to California and he wins, we split the money.

Do you think I'd hang around a pair like you for my health?

Hey, sweetheart, I'm lookin' for some kids.

[Vehicle Arrives]

- [Nick] Pop, I'm starving! - [Woods] We'll get 'em in the next town.

[Air Hissing] [Chuckling]

- [Pops] - Whoo!

- Hey! - Now I warned you! This is my living! Didn't I tell you this was my living, huh?

Son of a bitch.

- Oh, Jesus! - All right. All right, there's no cause to get crazy.

It's very hot.

- This is a professional matter. - Yeah!

Huh?

- [Screams] - [Grunts]

I don't appreciate this, Woods! You got no class! No class at all!

[Grunts]

So, uh, now that we're here, you want to go grab a bite to eat or what?

[Sighs]

[Haley] We gotta plan a strategy.

Lucky for you I know this highway like the back of my hands. My dad's a trucker.

- Yeah? - Yeah. He makes a weekly run between Reno and Kansas City.

That's where I live- Reno. You gotta be very adult to live in Reno.

It's the world's "biggest little city."

Oh.

Haley, are you sure about these guys?

Oh, don't you worry about them. I'm telling you, I know truckers.

They got a code. A code?

[Haley] My dad sent me home early. He likes me to watch the house.

We got a really, really nice house. Yeah?

Where's your mom? She packed it in.

She was a showgirl.

Great legs.

I got her legs. What do you think? [Moos]

Okay, we gotta pool our money. What do you got left?

Um,

$21.

I got 87 from the bus ticket.

[Corey] Oh, is this Reno? [Haley] No, stupid.

Well, you said it was the world's "biggest little city." I thought maybe I missed it.

What are you doing? Let go of- Corey, take the money! [Moos]

Haley! Hang onto her, Larry!

Jimmy, stay there! Stay there, Jimmy! Look out, kid.

Listen, kid, all we want is the cash. Ugh. Hey, stay away from me!

You smell like sh- I'll get-

Hey! Hey, this is our money!

Hey, this is our money! It's our money! Hey! Hey!

I got it! I got it!

Well, that's some code they got.

You don't have my size. I don't care what brand it is, just somethin'to get me goin'.

In your size, with your price,

all I got is these retreads, which would be old whitewalls.

Whitewalls?

[Game Beeping]

What the hell is that? Oh, it's Corey's old video game.

I found it in the back of the pickup truck. I thought the old one was broken?

It was. I fixed it.

You fixed it?

And you just hook it up? You don't ask?

It's not like I'm cuttin' tags off of mattresses, Pop. It's just a video game.

You oughta know. You bought it for him.

Thanks. Thanks.

Where are we? Does it matter? We're broke.

Oh, yeah, you're tellin' me! You're the one with all the trucker friends- the one who knows all the codes.

I got you this far, didn't I? Oh, I don't even know where "this" is!

A lot of faith you got. Oh, will you stop, Haley?

I mean, we don't have any money. Aren't you just a little scared? I don't get scared!

Now give me the four bucks you're holding out on.

What? You flashed 21,

you stashed four from the change at lunch.

They didn't get it 'cause you put it in your shorts. Now dish it up!

You're gettin' awful personal, you know.

[Chattering]

What are you doing? We've gotta find someone dumb enough to sucker.

And seeing how it's too warped for you, I guess it's up to me.

Wait a minute. That's my four dollars.

All right, now pay attention. You might learn something here.

Hey, I could beat you the way you're goin' now. Oh, there you go.

Perfect. They're salesmen. Wait here.

That's great. That's looking great. That's far out. Great.

That was a good one. Good shot. Good. Good.

Not bad. Not bad. [Man] Thanks.

- You got some skill. - Some? What do you mean some?

Oh, myself? No. Not a challenge.

Now my brother over here, now he could beat you.

[Laughing] Oh, go on.

You're a monster, Jimmy. You snaked 'em. Didn't he snake 'em?

Look at him. He's smiling.

You like this, Jimmy, don't you?

Yeah, we're on our way, Jimmy boy. We're on our way.

Geez, it's gonna be night. I got an idea.

What? Follow me.

What? You'll see.

[Haley] I've spent plenty of nights with my dad in these things.

[Corey] What, did you travel all over with your dad? If I want.

He takes me across country in summer when school's out.

But sometimes he sends me back early 'cause-

'cause he don't want my whole life to be on the road, you know?

Yeah, well, don't you have any friends?

I got tons of friends.

I got so many friends I don't have room for any more.

Sure.

Well, don't you ever get, uh, scared traveling all by yourself?

I told you. I don't get scared.

Never?

[Grunts]

Okay, we have $47.12,

which I think we can double, maybe triple, by the time we get to Reno.

Now, look. I got these Power magazines to help Jimmy,

so we can teach him the secret tricks in each game.

[Yelling, Screaming]

[Speaking Native Language]

Hi.

470,000 and climbing on F1 Dream.

What is this kid, some kinda cyborg?

Sorry, wartface, but, uh, first you play, then you pay.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Who you callin' wartface, weenie, huh?

Hey, hey! What's goin'on over there? The three of you, huh?

What'd I tell you about roughhousin' in here? I gotta spell it out!

Roger! Roger, it's them again!

I got video monsters. I got movie monsters.

I got graffiiti-on-the-wall monsters! I hate this place!

- He's good, but he'd never beat Lucas. - Lucas?

Nobody's better than Lucas. Lucas is awesome.

Oh, really? And, uh, where might we find this Lucas?

So, you the wizard?

No, he is. [All Laughing]

This guy? I don't get it. Is he, like, a poster child for someone?

For your information, butt-head,

he's headed for the video championships in Los Angeles.

Oh. Is that right?

Well, let's just see how good he is. Guys?

Pick any game you want.

I'm good at all of them. I have 97 of them.

You know all 97 of them?

What is that? I don't know.

[Beeps]

The Power Glove.

Geez.

I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.

Yeah, well, uh, just keep your power gloves off her, pal, huh?

Go ahead, Jimmy, show 'em what you got.

[Corey] Go ahead.

Hey- Hey, Jimmy!

By the way, I'm headed to the championships too.

[Woman] Sunny skies will continue over the Great Basin today and tomorrow. Fair skies through tonight.

Hey. Oh, sorry.

Oh, come on.

I want to get an early start in the morning.

Huh?

I know that this is, um, not a good thing.

Hmm? What's that?

Corey and Jimmy runnin' off, but, uh...

I just want to let you know that...

I'm glad that I'm here.

Mm-hmm.

You remember all those trips we used to take every year?

Go to the ocean. California.

That was great. We'd stop at every cornball tourist trap along the way.

Yeah. That's the best I remember us all.

Yeah.

[Chuckles] Jennifer was a kick, huh?

She and Jimmy together, they'd both go nuts.

Ohh. I'm tired, Nick. It's late.

What the hell am I doin' here?

I'm sleepin' with my father in some dump on the highway.

Hell, you don't want me here.

- Jesus! We can't even talk to each other! - You're in your underwear!

I can't believe it! I cannot even speak to my own father!

Mr. Cheapskate, he gets us a room that does not even have double beds.

[Sighs]

Ah, come on. I gotta get some sleep. So sleep.

You really play this thing, huh? That's right.

What's that one called? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[Boy] ...okay, Robot? I feel fine, Will Robinson.

[Changes Channels]

Doesn't take much intelligence to play that game, does it?

You should know.

[Birds Chirping]

[Woods] Oh! Oh, shit!

What the hell are you doin'?

I don't believe this.

I got the scroll weapon, and I almost beat Mecha Turtle at the end of level three.

You got the scroll weapon? Yeah.

He's losing his mind.

[Groans]

[Woods] Come on, come on.

Jimmy?

[Haley] What's wrong? Jimmy?

Jimmy.

No, Jimmy.

What's the matter? I-I-I don't know.

He- He builds these things.

It means he hasn't gotten better.

Listen, Jimmy, you lost yesterday. That was one loss. One guy.

Will you listen to me? [Scoffs]

See, this is what he does all day. Nothing.

Dang, we've come all this way.

Jimmy.

Jimmy.

[Haley] That wasn't nothing.

It's me, Corey.

That's what it is. He's jealous.

Jealous? Over you?

Geez, Corey, you're so thick!

You're all he's got. Don't you understand that?

Aw, you're crazy. He doesn't even figure that way.

And what if he does?

And what if you do?

Do what? You know what.

It ain't like I need you weasels, you know? And you don't have to be acting like you need me.

- What's the matter with you? - Yesterday... with Lucas-

like I was somethin' special to you.

- Look, Haley, all I said- - I told you, this is a business deal.

I'm not gonna be responsible for making him more of a basket case!

It's them. The guys from the arcade.

Corey, we gotta get out of here.

Come on. We gotta get out of here.

Come on, Jimmy. Come on.

No, Jimmy! Come on, Jimmy! Come on!

Hey, boy! Hey! Hey!

Hey, you little jerk! You took us for 20 bucks last night.

- Yeah, what of it? - You didn't tell us this mutant was some kind of pro.

Pro? My grandmother could have taken you.

- Let's just dish it up, all right, smart-ass? - Hey, it was a fair bet.

- Let's see what the little mutant's got. - [Grunting]

Hey, leave him alone! Give it back to him!

What the hell is this?

- Corey, give them the money. - [Boy] Yeah.

This is for interest, dork.

You go ahead. You have yourself a nice day.

Thanks, kids. Whoo!

Thanks for the hat, moron!

Jennifer.

What are they?

I always wondered what he had in that thing.

It was her.

[Corey] She was his twin sister.

They got down by the river, Jimmy and her, and somehow Jennifer got too close.

Jimmy couldn't swim, so he was afraid.

It was weird,

'cause- 'cause she didn't go downstream at all.

She just died...

in a few feet of water right in front of him.

It was really hard for Jimmy...

and for Nick.

Who's Nick?

My brother.

He was supposed to be watching them for Christine.

Nick and Christine didn't get along too well.

Because Christine was my dad's second wife, Jimmy and Jennifer,

we were their half brothers, but Christine didn't really see it that way.

After Jennifer died, well...

everything just fell apart.

[Haley] Where are you going?

Where are you going? I'm gonna go find a telephone and call my dad.

You're quitting? You can't quit. Not now.

Look, the contest is in three days, and he hasn't even learned half the games Lucas has.

I mean, look at him. It's over, Haley.

You're a quitter, Corey. And I don't care if you did like me.

Your attitude sucks.

- You wanted me to like you? - Not anymore.

Great.

Corey, I don't wanna quit.

Jimmy! Jimmy! You want to play?

He wants to play! We're not quitting here, okay?

All right, I'm looking for a couple of kids.

This one's a mental case. Have you seen 'em?

[Chuckles] Does he dress like you? No.

Well, then he couldn't be too much of a case, all right?

[Laughs] That's very funny. [Dings]

All right, now listen up, fruit fly. It's time to get real.

Two kids- one is nine, one is 13, there's a girl with 'em...

and they've been hangin' out in arcades- have you seen them?

I wouldn't tell you if I knew.

Where the hell are we?

That son of a bitch!

Oh, geez! What the hell are you doing? God!

Whoo! Whoo!

- Sorry about that. - Woods! You maniac!

I'm gonna sue! Do you hear me? I'm gonna sue your ass when this is over!

You make money off little kids, you miserable jerk! You oughta be shot!

- What are you doin'? - [Yelps]

Do you want some more, huh? I don't think he does. He's had plenty.

Son of a bitch!

[Laughs] I told you to stay out of my way, Woods!

You chickenshit!

[Metal Scraping]

Ah, hell.

Corey.

So this is where you live. It's got some charm, you think?

Okay. We got three days to get him good at every game they could possibly throw at him.

- Are you kidding me? I mean, there must be 70 games he's never played. - Trust me.

Now look. This is gonna take a lot of quarters.

I gotta find someone- a friend of my dad's. He's a trucker. His name is Spanky.

The pass line!

Spanky, the pass line! The pass line!

Pay 12. Pass 12. Five on the pass line.

[Stickman] It's coming out again. Do or don't pass.

Oh, craps 12!

- Once more! Once more! - On the pass line.

- [Onlookers Cheer] - Winner! Seven!

Put it on the field! Put it on the field!

On the field. Put it on the field. Put it on the field. [Stickman Chattering]

[Stickman] Coming out again. They're comin'out. Watch your hands.

- Nine! - Whoo! All right!

Okay, hard eight. Spanky, hard eight.

I want a hard eight. Hard eight.

Hard eight for the money.

Hard eight. Need a hard eight. Comin' in.

Roll that eight now. Eight's the line.

- Winner! - [Onlookers Cheer]

Hard eight! We won! We won! Whoo!

We won?

Haley, we won? [Woman On P.A.] Paging Mr. V.

What'd I do? What'd I do? Get outta here.

Can't be bettin' with kids.

400 bucks. We're in fat city!

Oh, and, Spank,

here's your 10.

Ten bucks?

[Quietly] Thanks. [Chuckles]

Okay, level seven? Let me get my book. [Representatives Chattering]

Hi. This is Karen with Nintendo Game Play Counsel.

We have new games.

[Male Representative] All you gotta do is wait until the thing lights up. Uh-huh.

Here you go. Updates. [Phone Rings]

Nintendo Game Playing, this is Rick. How can I help you?

Hi. My name is Haley, and I've got a wizard who's going all the way to the championships in Los Angeles.

Is that so? All I need is a little help.

Okay, let's start with Simon's Quest.

Okay, now where exactly are you in the game?

Miss Laurie Stevenson. [Girl] Candy bars, bubble gum, licorice.

Hey, babe.

No. Mrs. Bateman, as soon as I know where they are, you'll be the first to know.

Y-You- Mrs. Bateman, you forgot to tell me that your ex-husband is a maniac.

You know, children are one thing, but with maniacs, I get more.

No, they're crisscrossin' around the state. They- They're playin' video games.

No, I-Yeah, I don't- Oh, shit!

Good, you see? The best food at the airport.

They'd never come to a place like this. What the hell's wrong with this place?

No- Mrs. Bateman, I'm gonna have to call you back.

[Vehicle Engine Starts]

[Truck Departs] Hey.

Hey, buddy.

You wanna make a quick 50?

If you have to, we'll get it to go. [Sighs] I don't wanna get that to go.

Hi. Eggs, soda, with some fries, please, medium. To go.

No, no. Not to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're sitting here. Uh, excuse me.

[Woods] I'm lookin'for two kids: One about this tall, the other one about here.

A hat.

[Waitress] Mister, we got 'em in all sizes.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Mind if I ask you where you got that hat?

Yeah, I mind.

I got it from a moron.

What's that?

Nice hat.

[Laughs]

Where'd you get that hat, huh?

[Scoffs] Couple of kids.

They owe me some cash.

Uh-huh. Where'd they go?

- Who knows? - [Chuckles]

Hey! I'll tell you where they were goin'.

Where?

Los Angeles! What kind of a crazy idea has that kid got?

We're 500 miles from Los Angeles. Huh?

Uh, Pop?

I'm gonna go have a seat.

[Quietly] Shit.

Haley. Ah. Okay-

Here you go, Jim. Counting Rampage and Doctor Chaos,

we have 72 out of 97- three of which he's had a little trouble with- Ha.

So we have, uh, 28 more to go.

In one day?

Those look really bad, Corey. They look really bad. How do these look bad?

These are classic. Because we don't need any of that stuff.

Yes, we do. Now look. Look at this. Look at this.

What? Ajacket? Look at this jacket.

Look at the desig- We got plenty of clothes. We need entertainment.

We need toys, entertainment, like- Look. These are perfect entertainment. Look what I got for him. Peek-a-boo Peepers.

Look, they're weighted, so they can put them in their-in your soup, or, like, you know, your friend's soup.

You can do everything with these things. They're-What do you thi-

- [Giggles] - Jimmy, you're such a dork.

Look, Mrs. Bateman, I got it from this snot named Lucas.

They're headed for this big video championship in Los Angeles. It- [Metal Scraping]

No! Don't meet me there. I'll have 'em before you ever get there. Mrs. Bateman? Mrs. Bateman!

[Scraping Continues]

The guy said, "Take it," so I took it. How was I supposed to know?

I mean, it looked like a wreck.

Unfortunately, they started stripping it.

Hey, buddy, you seen these kids? Hey, buddy-

Hey, we're tryin' to play craps here. Oh, forget it.

[Dealer] Six! Six!

[Woman On P.A.] Paging Melba Jean Hokin.

Melba Jean Hokin to the white courtesy phone, please.

Excuse me, miss. I'm looking for a couple of kids- this one right here in particular.

Have you seen him? I know they're around here. No.

No? No.

Uh, yeah, I'd like a light-

Hey! I got him! I got him! [Laughs]

Where is he? Where's who?

Don't give me any lip, you snot! I've been followin' you across two states.

I'm bein' paid to bring your little brainless brother back. Now point him out!

Mister, you'll find your other son in the arcade.

I hate you!

Haley!

[Woman Chattering On P.A.]

Oop! [Coins Clatter]

Got you, Jimmy boy. Time to go home, son.

We're too late. [Screams]

He touched my breast!

What the hell are you doin'? No. I-

Put the kid down. No. I- I didn't touch anything! You can't-

You can't have the kid. The kid is-What are you-

I got a letter of custody for that kid right here in my pocket!

What are you doing? Put me down!

[Woman On P.A.] Paging Mr. Johnny Love.

Mr. Johnny Love to the white courtesy telephone, please. Jimmy, are you okay? Are you okay?

[Haley] Come on. We can't stay here.

Where the hell are we, Haley?

My home. Your home?

Nice place.

[Hammering] Hey, Pop, I think we got it.

Wait a second. [Video Game Beeping]

I'm in the sixth palace of Hyrule.

Oop. Yeah! I got past the River Devil.

[Chuckles] Terrific.

[Beeping Stops]

What the hell are you doin'? I had the magic key. I got the cross. I was closin' in on the Barbarian!

You're losin' it, Pop.

Let's get in the car, huh?

[Exhales]

Jimmy's out cold in the house.

[Bird Calls In Distance]

So you always, uh, sit up here on the roof?

It's better than being inside.

Look. I know how I told you I lived in some great place,

so don't be rubbing it in.

- I didn't say anything. - It ain't my fault.

And it ain't my dad's.

My mom- she had this little problem.

That's how I learned about craps.

I thought, maybe when...

my- my dad got home tomorrow night from work, we'd have won.

Call him up from L.A. and say, "Dad, guess what?

We can buy a house now."

Geez, listen to me. I even sound like a dork.

Zelda.

Zelda?

Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's like- it's like the Adventures of Link.

He has to find Zelda, you have to find a house- same difference.

Boy, is that sexist.

It's not sexist. It's romantic.

I know what you were gonna do, and you can just forget about it.

There is no way! I am not kissing a boy.

A girl maybe?

You smart-ass.

[Corey Clears Throat]

[Corey Sighs]

[Haley Giggles]

Yeah, Information. I'm lookin' for a... Brooks, Reno.

B-R, double "O," K-S.

I touched her breast. She doesn't have any breasts.

No, it's a Haley Brooks.

All right. Just give me all three.

All right. Yeah, look. What I really need here is an address. Okay.

Jimmy, time to get up.

Jimmy-

Jimmy?

[Jimmy In Distance] Corey!

No. Haley!

- What? - [Jimmy Yelling, Muffled]

Come on. [Continues Yelling]

Jimmy! Stop!

Wait!

Stop! Jimmy!

[Engine Cranking, Starts]

Jimmy! Hey!

Wait! [Haley] Jimmy!

He's gone. He's gone. It's over!

Just tell me the truth, Corey. Did he really have a chance?

Yeah. No, I- I don't know.

Look. I've never seen anyone better, not even- Not even Lucas?

Yeah. Not even Lucas.

Hey, where you goin'? You think I don't have friends?

I got friends.

Friends? Haley!

[Metal Scraping Continues]

[Putnam Chuckling] Hey. Hey!

Hey! Sit down and shut up. [Chuckles]

You just made me some money, space case.

Here, have a sucker.

Look. Look, kid, you just do like your Uncle Putnam tells ya, or else it's gonna be a very long ride home.

[Scraping Continues]

What the hell is that?

- [Screams] - [Tires Screech]

Hey! What the hell are you doin'? You're blockin' the road, guys.

Whoo! [Air Brakes Hiss]

[Door Slams]

All right. I want all of your driver's license numbers!

Everyone of ya. I want your driver's license numbers!

So you touched her breasts, huh?

Oh, my God.

All right. All right. Let's not lose our tempers. It's very hot- [Punch Lands]

[Haley] Come on, Spanky. Faster, faster!

I'm already in a world of trouble when ol' Pete find out I stole his rig.

Do you want me to get a ticket too?

[Jimmy] Please, Spanky?

All right! L.A., here we come.

Look out for the road hog! Yahoo!

[All] Yahoo! [Horn Honking]

[Corey] Bye, Spanky. Thanks for the ride.

Bye, Spanky.

[Haley] Thanks, Spanky. Good luck, you guys.

[Door Closes]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Boy] Andy Panda! Have you seen Woody Woodpecker?

There it is. Whoa, what is this place?

[Dracula Chattering, Chortles]

[Woman On P.A.] From three finalists, one champion. Who will survive?

Video Armageddon continues.

All right. Let's move it, move it, move it, kid! Hi.

Hey. Hi. We're here to register.

Good. Yeah, the name's Jimmy Woods.

W-W-Woods! Jimmy Woods!

What game is it? What game are they playing?

Well, for the prelims we're playing Ninja Gaiden! [Martial Arts Yell]

He knows Ninja Gaiden. We're in! That's great.

You're in. Fantastic. Pin this to his back and hustle it on in there.

You're blowin' it. You're late. Move it, move it, move it!

[Crowd Cheering] [Announcer] And the clock moves inexorably towards the final conflict.

From three finalists, one champion.

Who will survive at Video Armageddon? Now remember all the stuff we taught you, okay, Jimmy?

- Will you look at this? - [Crowd Cheering Continues]

Oh. Oh, here we go. A winner here. Let's go.

[Continues, Chattering]

[Announcer] As the clock winds down,

who will survive, as we have 10 seconds, nine-

[Crowd Joins] Eight, seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one!

- [Buzzer Sounds] - [Cheering]

We have a new winner: Number 169!

Number 169 is who we gotta beat.

Whoever it is, they're good.

It's Lucas.

Yeah. All right, Lucas. Yeah.

Hey, It's the wizard. I brought my friends too.

I wanted to show them perfection.

You know, I hope you don't get nervous like last time, wiz.

We wouldn't want you to whiz on someone. [All Laugh]

- Let's just hope it's you. - Whoa.

- Come on. Let's go. - [Woman On P.A.] The final elimination round of Video Armageddon-

All right. At last the final round.

Come up here, my little beauties.

Oh. All right. Okay, Jimmy. This is you. This is you.

Stay calm. You know this game. Remember all the stuff you learned.

Remember what a warp on the boards, okay? You remember? Remember? Twenty-seven.

Go. Go get 'em. Concentrate. Okay. Go.

You can do it. You can do it, Jimmy. Just- Go on.

[Announcer] Come up here, my little munchkins.

- Get your little bottoms up here, as we move into the final, and last, elimination round! - [Woman On P.A. Starts Countdown]

- Come on. - They have 10 minutes!

[Woman Finishes Countdown] Go!

[Announcer Chattering]

Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Go, go, go! Come on!

Go! He got it.

[Announcer] All right! Who is gonna win the 50,000 smackeroos?

Oh, terrific. Whoa! [With Crowd] Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one!

[Buzzer Sounds] [Crowd Cheers]

[Announcer] And now thejudges tabulate...

to reveal our three winning finalists!

Ladies and gentlemen, the winners are 169-

- Yeah! - [Woman On P.A.] Number 169, Lucas Barton.

You're out there. I wonder where you'd all gone.

255-

[Woman] Number 255, Mora Grissom.

[Crowd Cheering] [Scattered Boos]

And 427!

[Woman] Number 427,Jimmy Woods. [Both Chattering]

Jimmy! Whoo!

Well, ladies, gentlemen,

children, siblings,

animals,

this is the day that our three contestants in 15 minutes...

will fight for 50,000...

smackeroos!

But now, I am really gonna brain you out!

They are gonna have to play a game...

that they have never, ever, ever... played before.

[Crowd Oohs] New game?

In 15 minutes you get to your stations!

What? A new game? You didn't say there'd be a new game!

[Frankenstein Grunts]

[Continues Grunting]

What the hell are you doing? What do-What do you want? Get away!

Freak. [Woman On P.A.] Warning. Video Armageddon...

will begin in T-minus 15 minutes and counting.

[Chuckles] Putnam!

Mr. Bateman. Mr. Putnam, my son has been on the road for almost nine days now.

- You said you'd have him back in hours. - All right, look. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you made it.

He's here. Believe me.

Where? With all due respect, Mr. Bateman, I've had a bitch of a time-

excuse my language- and I'd rather not have anything else go wrong.

I mean, it's so unfair. How can they give us a new game? A new game.

Hey, Lucas, man, that was great. You're gonna rip their gizzards out, man.

Yeah, yeah. Look, dork lips, why don't you just make yourself useful and get me a cold drink?

Hey. Hey, you- you in the black shirt!

Up here! Up on the steps!

Look! Hey, you! Up here!

Hey! They're down there. Over there!

[Lucas] Hey! They're down there. It's him.

[Gasps] It's Jimmy! It's Jim- Jimmy! Jimmy!

[Corey] Run! Come on!

Uh, stop eating! Where are the goin'?

[Haley] Corey! Come on!

[Corey, Haley] Wait! Wait!

Go, Jimmy, go! Hurry up. Close it!

Hey, watch where you're goin'! Let me go, man! Let me go!

- [Haley Screams] - Come here!

[Putnam] Stop those- Get outta my way.

[Woman] Where's your mother?

[Growling, Babbling] Watch your mouth.

[Corey] Come on, Jimmy! Come on. Hurry up. Wait a second. There they go right there.

Huh? Come on! ...other side of the tram you'll see-

- Hey! - Paul Meiner's next motion picture Mayhem in Monte Carlo,

starring Zsa Zsa Gabor and Pee-wee Herman in the romantic leads.

[Haley] What do we do, Corey? What do we do?

Come here! Stop those kids! Come on. Come on.

Come on, Haley! Give me the pail. Jimmy, give me the pail.

Stop those kids! Come here!

Hold this.

[Tour Guide] The prop house over here, where we contain most of the props-

[Passengers Yelling, Chattering]

D'oh! Damn, that bastard!

What the hell do we do now? [Breathing Heavily]

Go this way, here.

- Come here! Come here! Hey! - [Flames Roaring]

Come here, you little freak! You maniac, what are you-

[Flames Roaring] [Yelping] What are you-

Right there. Go! Go!

[Putnam] Get that kid! Come here! Come on!

Come here!

- [Roaring] - [Screaming]

Gotcha!

- Come here! Get off me! - Come on! Come on!

What are you- Get off!

Ah! Ah! You all right?

Please, sit down and have fun! Just- Just sit down and have fun, damn it!

Are you okay? Face all right? Yeah? You sure? Yeah.

[Roaring Continues]

[Corey] Come on. Come on!

Okay. Down here. Down here.

[Machinery Whirring] [Hydraulics Hissing]

[Haley] Hurry, Jimmy. Hurry!

Follow me, Jimmy.

[Yelps] Wrong way! This way!

Over there, through the window.

Come on. Come on, Jimmy. Come on.

Where are we? What is this? What is this? The contest is about to start.

[Crowd Cheering In Distance] Wait a minute. Haley, look down!

- [Cheering Continues] - Where is he? Where's the little guy? Where's the third?

It's time to go. Woods. Woods-

[Woman On P.A.] Warning. Where is he? I don't know.

There's your cue. The option to override emergency destruct...

has now expired.

Video Armageddon will begin in T-minus two minutes and counting.

Our first contestant,

Mr. Lucas Barton from Nevada.

[Crowd Chanting] Lucas! Lucas! [Boy] Kick butt, Lucas!

[Girl] I love you, Lucas! [Chanting Continues]

- [Woman On P.A.] Ninety seconds. - Hey! Hey, Lucas! Lucas, tell 'em to wait!

Tell 'em we're here! Lucas! [Haley] Lucas!

[Clattering] He's coming!

Go! Run! Run!

[Growls] [Yelps]

And our second contestant, from the state of California,

the gorgeous Mora Grissom.

[Crowd Cheers] [Woman On P.A.] Sixty seconds.

[Corey Screams] No! Come on! Right here.

Come on, Jimmy! Go, go!

Turn him over, you little snots! He's mine. No.

[Woman On P.A.] Fifty seconds. Ha! Stay back!

I'm a desperate man. I could do anything. Very cute.

I'm gonna get ya.

What the hell is that? Hey! Hey! [Corey Laughs] Bye!

Come here! [Haley] All right, Corey!

God, I hate this job! [Grunts]

[Woman On P.A.] Forty seconds.

And our third contestant, from the great state of Utah-

[Woman On P.A.] Thirty seconds. Gimme, gimme, gimme,

Jimmy Woods!

[Woman On P.A.] Nineteen, 18, 17,

16, 15,

14, 13, 12- Jimmy- Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy-

Woods! 11, 10 seconds,

nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four, three, two- I give you Video Armageddon!

One-ignition. [Alarm Beeping]

[Beeping Continues]

He-e-ey, he-hey! Ha-ha!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have three contestants:

One, two, three!

[Crowd Cheers]

So I give you...

Super Mario Brothers 3!

[Announcer] To your stations!

You have 10 minutes, and the player with the most points wins!

Go!

[Announcer] We enter world one.

[Woman On P.A.] Lucas Barton, 1,300.

Jimmy Woods, 1,300.

Mora Grissom, 400.

Come on, come on, come on, come on! Let's hear it from the rest of you! You've got me!

Oh, no. Look at this! [Both] Come on!

You can do it! You can do it! Come on!

Corey! Corey! Jimmy, Jimmy! Yeah!

He's a finalist! Uh-huh.

Why didn't you tell me? He's a finalist! [Bateman] What?

My son's a finalist. Jimmy! Watch the mushrooms!

[Woman On P.A.] Lucas Barton, 16,900.

Jimmy Woods, 17,200.

Miss Mora Grissom, 14,900.

Lucas, second. Jimmy leads!

He's doing it! Faster! Yahoo!

He's a changed man, this guy. No kidding.

[Nick] Come on, shorty. I love ya!

[Corey] All right. Now stomp on 'em. Get 'em!

Okay, now find a warp, Jimmy. Find a warp! If he finds a warp, he can jump through it.

Get it, Jimmy. Go! Go! Go!

[Woman On P.A.] Lucas Barton, 24, 150.

Jimmy Woods, 26,340.

Well, we got him cold now. I flushed him out. Course, we still have a deal, Mrs. Bateman.

Shut up! Oh, sure.

Oh, no. No!

The Turtle hit him with one of his boomerangs.

You're gonna have to start over, Jimmy. Just stay calm, okay? Stay calm!

[Announcer] And Jimmy loses a life...

and starts over in world two.

- Yeah. - [Announcer] Lucas finishes world two.

[Announcer] And Mora finishes world two.

- No! - Oh, no. He's lost another guy! He's gonna have to start all over again.

[Announcer] Jimmy begins world two again.

[Woman On P.A.] Lucas Barton, match. 52,520.

The star, Jimmy. Get the star!

Whoo! Yeah!

- [Announcer] Jimmy finishes world two. - I knew- I knew you can do it.

Just go! Just go!

[Woman On P.A.] Jimmy Woods, match.

50,270.

Lucas Barton, 59,080.

Jimmy Woods, 52,000.

Mora Grissom, 39,820.

[Announcer] Jimmy's found the secret passageway!

[Crowd Cheers]

That's the magic flute. Use it! Use it! It opens the warp.

[Announcer] Jimmy finds the warp zone!

Yes! Yes, he's found the warp!

[Woman On P.A.] Jimmy Woods, 66,820.

Lucas Barton, 69, 180.

Mora Grissom, 47,500.

[Crowd Groans]

She's out! She's out! She's out!

- Game play will terminate in T-minus 18- - [Crowd Chanting] Score! Score!

17, 16- Come on, Jimmy. Score! Score!

- 15, 14- - [Woman] Come on, little guy!

13, 12, 11-

[With Crowd] Ten, nine, ten seconds, nine-

eight, seven, six-

Get the star, Jimmy- the star! Five, four,

three, two, one.

[Buzzer Sounds] [Crowd Cheers]

[Woman On P.A.] Their final scores are: Jimmy Woods-

Holy Moly! 81,520-

- And the winner is- - Lucas Barton-

- Jimmy Woods from Utah! - 78, 180-

Yeah! I know that kid! Yeah! Way to go! Mora Grissom, 49,440.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Cheering Continues]

[Chanting In Distance] Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

[Chanting Continues, Louder] Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

[Chanting Fades]

Well, it was pretty remarkable.

"Fornia." C-California!

C- California! What's the matter with him?

Just pull over. Stay still, honey. It's okay. Would you pull over? California!

California! [Christine] It's okay.

He's pullin' over. What the hell are they doin'? I don't know.

Dad, pull over.

Well, go ahead. Pull over!

[Christine] But where will you go? Jimmy!

What's the problem? Huh? I don't know. It's the only California he knows about.

Is he okay? Yeah, he's okay.

[Corey] Jimmy?

Jimmy? Jimmy.

Where'd he go?

Wait a minute.

Jimmy?

Jimmy.

Jimmy.

Jennifer.

What-What is this? What's going on?

It's all of us.

It was taken here.

Jimmy- Jimmy, is this California?

I guess, he just wanted to leave her in a place where she was happy.

I guess he wanted to say good-bye.

Jim?

Why don't you take our boys home, Sam?

We'll talk when we get back to town.

Come on.

Let's go.

[Chuckles]

[Giggles]