Original subtitles

(mysterious music)

(tense music)

(footsteps clattering) (woman panting)

(crow squawks)

- [Man] She went this way!

(woman panting)

(crow squawks)

(woman grunts)

I heard something over here!

- [Man] Don't let her get away!

- [Man] There's nowhere to run.

(chains rattle) (woman grunts)

(dramatic music)

You made that a lot harder than it needed to be.

(tense music)

(woman gasps)

(dog growls) (guns fire)

- Taz.

(Taz grunting)

(Taz growls)

- [Man] Don't you move!

(man grunts)

(Taz growling) (man screams)

(dramatic music)

(car alarm wails) (woman grunting)

(man gasps) (Taz growls)

(guns click)

- I'm gonna enjoy puttin' you down, traitor.

(woman panting) (intense music)

(horn honks)

(scooter buzzing) (playful music)

- [Angelino] Yo, I'm Angelino.

My story takes place in the shithole called Dark Meat City.

I was born here, probably die here, too.

(upbeat music) (sings in a foreign language)

D.M.C., as in depression,

murder and crazy-ass motherfuckers.

(men grunting) - Break it up!

- [Angelino] I'm 22, and I'm a pizza delivery guy, I guess.

I get paid, and I get the fuck out of there.

Don't ask questions, don't get involved.

It just complicates things, you know.

Already ugly as fuck,

I don't need no more complications.

(sings in a foreign language)

When it comes to the school of hard knocks,

I probably ain't never gonna graduate.

But I ain't complaining.

Some of the others just dropped out.

- What's up, man, come on! - Where'd you hide it!

- Man, move your hobo asses! - What did I tell you?

Fuck off!

- Did I mention I hate this place?

It's like everyone's trying to take you out.

(crow squawks) Ah shit!

Stupid-ass bird, watch where you flying!

How was I supposed know

that one little look would change everything?

(dramatic music)

(heartbeat thumping) (ethereal music)

They say real love stories don't end up

like they do in the movies.

(horn honks) But how would I know?

I ain't never been in love.

I ain't never kept a job longer than three weeks,

'cause I'm lucky like that.

But I gotta pay the rent somehow

and can't count on Vinz.

No one'll hire him,

'cause he's a fire hazard or some shit.

What the fuck?

Just keep your head down, mouth shut.

You even think about disrespecting

these motherfuckers,

you done.

The rule is don't cause no trouble for nobody,

'cause maybe they'll do the same.

Yeah, I get it, I'm a joke.

But right now, I just want to get home.

- Hey, put your head in a bag, (speaks in foreign language).

- [Man] Yeah, over that shit up, homie.

- [Angelino] Alive, if possible.

Hotel Guadalupe, it's like purgatory but with cable.

Lived here four years.

- [Announcer] Straight from the mouth of hell, Lucifer's--

- [Angelino] Hey, yo, Vinz!

- What's up? - What's with all this shit

on the floor?

(groans) For real, can you just clean up after yourself?

- [Vinz] Whoa, what the fuck happened to your face, bro?

- Got hit by some big-ass truck, came out of nowhere.

Man, people need to learn how to drive in this town.

Oh yeah, and I got fired.

- Again? - Yup.

Hey, you feed the roaches yet?

- [Vinz] Why can't they just eat what's on the floor?

- Nah, the floor is nasty.

Roaches have sensitive tummies.

I read that somewhere.

Real talk, though, I don't how we gonna do this.

Rent's two months late.

We ain't got no jobs.

Dude, I know Lucha Ultima's on,

but we got to figure this shit out.

You think we should talk to Willy?

- Can we please leave Willy out of this?

He's weird.

- Okay, come to Papa.

Ah, there you go.

Daddy's got a little treat for you.

Oh, you brought some friends, too.

That's cool.

- Ugh, ugh, that's gross, man.

And you're eating the pet food?

- [Announcer] I hope he has health insurance,

because this is shaping up to be--

- [Vinz] Yo, roaches freak me out, man.

Are you even listening to me?

- Yeah. - I mean, they're just taking

over the whole crib, bro.

I know this is a shit apartment,

but can we at least have some standards?

- [Announcer] Right to the jaw.

- [Angelino] Hey, Vinz, you know what would really suck?

If even the roaches get out of here before we do.

(water droplets tapping)

(Vinz snores)

(Angelino snores)

(scooter rumbles)

(Angelino groans)

(energy hums)

(mysterious music)

(Taz growls)

(Taz barks)

(Angelino gasps)

(heartbeat thumping) (Angelino panting)

(Angelino sighs)

(Taz growls)

(solemn music)

(bird squawking)

(Willy humming)

- Hey, I think you're

in the wrong neighborhood (speaks in foreign language).

(Angelino grunting)

- [Angelino] Shit, my head.

- [Vinz] Lino, you look rough, bro.

Are you okay? - Couldn't sleep (sighs).

Kept having messed-up dreams.

I think that accident really fucked up my head, man.

- [Vinz] Bro, I think we should go get that checked out.

You could drop dead or something.

Let's go see a doctor today.

- [Angelino] (grunts) No way, no doctors.

They just make you pay for bad news.

- [President] Terrorism knows no political parties,

no race, no gender.

(knuckles rapping)

- Oh no, it's Willy.

- [President] indiscriminate violence, orchestrated--

(knuckles rapping)

(suspenseful music)

Shit, man. - Open up, jerkwads, it's me!

Willy! (echoes)

Come on, I know you're home.

I hear the TV.

It's not like you can go anywhere.

You're a couple of broke a-holes with no car.

Vinz, I can see the flame on your head.

- Damn. - Come on, open up!

Hey-o!

- Man, I can't handle that clown, right now.

(Willy grunts) (fist thumps)

(snake hisses) - Um?

- Shut the fuck up.

Your goddamned noise is pissing off my snake.

(Willy whimpers)

- [Vinz] Oh man, now I have to let Willy in

or the Nazi's gonna kill him.

- (grunts) I mean, would that be the worst thing?

(lock clicks)

- [Willy] Well, took you long enough!

What are you doing in here,

smelling each other's balls or something?

- Willy, please keep it down.

My head's gonna burst.

- Seriously, what's with your neighbor?

It's a free country.

Our founding fathers died for my right to yell in hallways.

I mean, back me up, Lino.

Am I right, or am I right?

- Whatever, sure, man.

Just shut the fuck up, dude.

- Huh?

This guy again?

- Until they themselves know the terror they tried--

- Terrorism, blah, blah, blah.

So where are these alleged terrorists, huh?

Playing poker with the Tooth Fairy

and my imaginary girlfriend?

Ha!

I mean, look at that guy right there.

Showing a face like that on TV, that's terrorism.

Ooh, what a sick burn!

Brr, mah, mah, mah, mah!

(roaches squeaking)

(Willy grunts)

What the hell?

Did you not just see that?

Those savages ran off with my hot dog.

You're not gonna do anything?

You know those things carry a nut ton of diseases, right?

- Uh, why are you here?

- Oh, I, I don't know.

I missed you douchebags.

I wanted to go out, get some Froyo or something.

Come on, let's get some air, 'cause honestly,

Lino over here, he looks like a shit took a shit.

- [Vinz] Everybody knows it's staged, Willy.

Diablo always wins.

I could put on tights, go in the ring

and do the same exact shit. - What?

- I'm serious.

- Except you've got the bone structure of a little bitch.

- [Vinz] Oh yeah?

(both grunting)

- [Angelino] Fuckin' hate the bus.

(Angelino sighs)

But I've read people been shot more walking,

so my ass takes the bus.

Don't get it twisted.

DMC's worse than it sounds.

And it will eat you alive.

Only question is when.

Me and Vinz talked about escaping one day,

but we ain't foolin' nobody.

Got no car or money,

just the roaches and this motherfuckin' bus.

Nah, for real.

Like the rest of these poor fuckers,

no dreams, no hope, no future.

Ain't got a shadow of a prayer.

(ominous music)

(Angelino gasps)

- Lino, what'd you think?

Could Vinz be a wrestler?

(ominous music)

Hello, is Vinz a bitch or not?

- Huh?

Oh, uh, I guess.

I just, did you guys see the priest walkin' by

with the-- (bell dings)

Uh, never mind. (Willy gasps)

- Oh finally, I can breathe again.

So what do you guys think we should eat?

Don't forget, you jerks owe me a hot dog.

(Angelino gasping) (ominous music)

Did you know Diablo can eat a whole bowl

of hot dogs in three minutes?

- [Vinz] No, he can't.

What do you-- - He does!

I watched a behind-the-scenes

thing about it. (Angelino gasping)

- [Vinz] And again, I'm telling you, it's all theater.

It's fuckin' fake. - Huh?

- What do you think, Lino? - What the hell?

(ominous music)

- [Vinz] Ya got to take better care of yourself, man.

Let's go get some food.

(solemn music)

- [Angelino] Maybe Vinz is right.

That truck must've fucked me up worse than I thought.

Probably cracked my skull,

and now my brain's gonna leak out all over my sneakers

or some bacteria-ass shit that makes you go crazy

and kills you two weeks later.

(ominous music)

- Bro, are you okay?

For real, man, you seem pretty out of it.

You wanna go home and chill?

- I don't know.

I'm suddenly seeing all this trippy shit,

and it's freaking me out.

Like, look, that dude over there!

You don't see anything weird.

Look at him!

(ominous music)

- [Vinz] Remind me what I'm lookin' at.

- You didn't see his shadow?

Look, with crazy tentacles and shit comin' out of his head?

- [Willy And Vinz] Huh?

(ominous music)

(crow squawks) - What?

I'm not crazy, dude!

- Yeah, Lino, sure you're not.

- [Angelino] Fuck, what's wrong with me?

- [Vinz] I think the sun's probably frying your brain.

It's too hot outside.

Let's go. - Yeah, maybe.

Let's find a place to hang out and chill.

- [Vinz] So Pipo's then?

- [Willy] Oh, again?

But I want Froyo.

(crow squawks) (dramatic music)

- The mercury has hit another record high today

with daytime temperatures soaring well

above the seasonal norm for the third week in a row.

It's recommended that elderly viewers and children--

- Wrong, it's those chem trails in the sky

that's making me so hot.

The government's ruining our climate

so that we buy more American-made cars and soda.

(gentle music)

(heartbeat thumps)

Fancy dinner where we what?

Yeah, buy more soda.

- Lino. - I'm tellin' ya, man.

The sugar and car lobbyists run our country.

Huh?

Damn, now see, I would let her lobby at me, all day.

(sings in a foreign language)

(Angelino gasps)

- [Angelino] She's looking at us.

- Ooh, Lino, she's checkin' you out, brother.

(sings in a foreign language)

- Senorita?

- Yeah, uh, let's get out of here.

- [Vinz] Lino, what are you doing?

Why we runnin'? (Willy grunts)

- Wait up!

We didn't pay for the food.

- [Waiter] Gracias, pero, this is too much.

- [Angelino] It's cool!

Keep the change!

(sings in a foreign language)

(crow squawking)

(dramatic music)

- [Willy] I don't know about you,

but I got that it's.

- [Vinz] Then make sure you stay downwind from me.

- [Willy] Ugh, plus I get gas.

It's genetic. - Genetics?

That, it's not genetic, Willy.

You're just disgusting.

- [Willy] Don't judge me, man.

- Hey, guys.

I think someone's tailing us.

See that one over there pretending to talk

on the phone that don't work?

- Huh?

Wait, where?

- Yo, be more discreet, dumb-ass.

- [Vinz] You mean wingtips?

- [Angelino] Yeah, the three of them been following us

for a while now.

(ominous music)

- Now I feel stupid.

They weren't even after us, man.

What the hell is up with you today?

You've been acting crazy since this morning.

(dramatic music)

(all gasp)

- (scoffs) Still think I'm paranoid?

(ominous music)

- [Willy] Uh, why don't we just ask them what they want?

- Nah, man.

I'm not askin' those Men in Black motherfuckers nothin'.

(Willy whimpering)

- What are we supposed to do, Lino?

(ominous music)

- We go into ninja mode.

We turn the corner,

and as soon as we outta their sight, we out.

(Willy gasps) (tense music)

Ninja!

(ominous music)

(Willy whimpering)

- We've been made!

Don't let 'em get away!

(dramatic music)

- What do they want?

- (gasping) I'm slowin' down!

(Willy gags) (dramatic music)

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

(henchmen grunting)

(henchman in hat screams)

(dramatic music)

- Stop or I'll shoot!

- Oh shit, he's got a gun.

He's got a gun, gun, gun, gun.

- Wait! What?

(Willy groaning)

(gun firing)

(Willy grunts)

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

(Angelino grunts)

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

(heartbeat thumps) (fire roars)

(Agent Crocodile grunting)

- Go, get the fuck out of here!

- I've got you, bro!

(dramatic music)

Take this fuckin' brick, you (grunts)!

(Vinz yelps)

(gun firing) Oh no, no, no.

(dramatic music)

I got you, Lino.

(Vinz grunting) (dramatic music)

(Willy gags)

(Agent Crocodile gasps) (dramatic music)

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

(wheels squeaking) (solemn music)

We need to get out of here, right now.

Let's go!

(dramatic music)

- [Angelino] Did, did you grab his gun, dude?

- [Vinz] Why the fuck would I do that?

It's not GTA, let's go.

(crickets chirping)

What do you think those dudes wanted from us, man?

- [Willy] To kill us, obviously!

The whole damn city's nuts.

- [Vinz] What could they want?

Dude, did you see their clothes?

They're not from here, are they?

- [Angelino] For real,

they weren't dressed like dealers, bro.

Looked like hitmen to me.

- [Vinz] Hopefully, they're looking for someone else.

- You mean, some other ugly, bug-eyed dude

and a guy with his head on fire?

- [Vinz] Maybe they're CIA.

- [Willy] Yeah, right, they wanted to know where we were

when Kennedy got shot.

Ba-bang (chuckles)!

Too soon?

- [Angelino] Whoa, a shooting star!

You see that?

- [Vinz] No, where?

- [Willy] Uh, in the sky, where else, dumb-ass?

- [Vinz] Fuck you, Willy.

I just didn't see it.

The sky's big.

- [Willy] Wah-huh, my head's on fire,

and the sky's too big! - Fuckin' rude, why would you,

hey, I saw one that time.

Look there's another one.

Make a wish, make a wish, make a wish, right now.

- Oh what did you wish for, Lino?

- [Angelino] Me?

I don't know.

I just wanna be a somebody.

(dog barking)

- [Announcer] That Diablo sure knows how

to please a crowd!

Whoa, what's this?

- [Radio] 10-four, in sight.

(gun clicks)

(gun fires)

The hall, three on the roof.

- [Announcer] Sun God Slam!

The crowd is going--

- [Radio] Neutralize suspect.

(static hisses) - What the,

what the fuck's wrong with this janky ass...

It's picking up the whole city.

(solemn music)

- [Vinz] Hold on, stop, stop, stop.

Do you hear that?

Wait, wait, stop that, stop that.

Is that police chatter?

- [Radio] Operation Blackball is a go.

Move, move, move!

- What the hell is Operation Blackball?

(tense music)

Huh?

(tense music)

- For the last fucking time, if you don't--

- [Radio] Contact in 10 seconds.

(neighbor gasps) (gun fires)

- I don't know what's going on outside,

but whatever it is, it's kinda weird.

(tense music)

- [Angelino] What the fuck?

- [Radio] Contact.

(Angelino gasps) (guns fire)

(dramatic music)

- Vinz, man, what, what the fuck are you doing?

Get your ass over here

and help, ah! (guns firing)

(dramatic music)

(pan clatters)

(guns clicking)

(shotgun fires) (static hissing)

(solemn music)

- [Radio] Status?

What's your status?

Report.

(tense music)

(Angelino grunts)

(officer grunts)

(all grunting) (dramatic music)

- Huh?

(roaches squeaking)

(gun firing)

(rubble clatters)

(dramatic music)

This is my shithole!

Get the fuck out!

(gun firing)

- [Vinz] Did you just kill a cop?

(gun clicking) (Angelino gasps)

(shotgun fires)

Oh, oh, they're gonna kill us.

They're gonna kill us.

- Not yet.

(solemn music)

(shotgun clicks)

(canister hisses)

(officer yelling) (fire roars)

(grenade pin clangs)

- Grenade, grenade, move! (explosion roars)

(dramatic music)

(heartbeat thumps) (fire roars)

(Angelino grunts)

- [Vinz] Lino, come on.

Come on, we have to go.

(solemn music)

(Vinz grunts)

(Angelino gasps)

(shotgun fires)

(Angelino growls)

(Angelino grunts)

(dramatic music)

(officer grunts)

(Angelino gasps)

(dramatic music)

- [Angelino] Yo, this way, dumb-ass!

(gun firing)

(Angelino grunts)

- How is he doing that?

(Angelino grunts)

(sirens wail)

Psst, hey, Lino, down here, hurry.

(sirens wail)

Whoa, man, I'm not saying this 'cause we're in the sewer,

but I think you might be a Ninja Turtle, Lino.

(solemn music)

- Shit.

You gonna tell me you killed 'em?

Two idiot kids took out an entire elite squad.

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

The abomination did this.

I knew that little bastard's power wouldn't stay dormant.

And you assholes let him get away.

The kid's a ticking time bomb

that needs to be extinguished before it explodes.

(speaks in foreign language)

(crowd cheering)

(air horn bellows)

- [Espirit] Getting harder to work

with El Diablo in the ring.

He keeps going off-book.

Guy has like no boundaries.

- Oh come on, what?

You gonna cry about it?

He's El, freakin', Diablo.

He may bust our balls,

but he's giving the crowd what they want.

- [Espirit] Look, see?

Tell me that's not a sign.

- [Feliz] Hmm, looks kind of like a cockroach.

- Again with your damn signs.

(growls) Bullshit.

Now it's a roach on your towel.

Last week, you saw the Virgin Guadalupe in your rearview

and then some stupid face on fire.

- A flaming skull on my BLT, in Aguascalientes.

- Because the universe always writes

its most important messages on sandwiches?

I think you're just seeing what you want to see,

reading into things too much.

I'm just saying, stop looking for meaning

where there isn't any.

You're gonna drive yourself totally nuts with that shit.

- You just can't accept the fact that we're Guardians,

and as Guardians, it's our job to stay vigilant

for whatever the universe throws our way.

We--

- He's right.

It was only by deciphering signs and omens that the ancients

before us could fulfill their true destinies.

Every generation of Guardians exist

to fight a specific battle.

Don't worry, we'll get tagged in,

and then our purpose will be revealed to us.

- Hell yeah! - Huh?

Yeah, but, like a cockroach?

Can the universe be clearer?

- Our job is to be patient and lie in wait.

And when the world finally needs us,

we'll know it.

(dramatic music)

(projector rattling)

- [Narrator] The Lucha Ultima fighters are descended

from the Eagle and Jaguar tribes,

the most elite warriors of the Aztec Empire,

Masters of the Mistica,

the art of unraveling the mysteries of destiny.

Generations of Guardians have waged wars in the shadows,

keeping us safe from evil since time immemorial.

But today's luchadors have no such battles.

Yet they stay in shape with intense training,

donning tights and fighting each other

in spectacular choreographed shows to pay the rent

and stave off existential boredom.

(Diablo yells)

(ominous music)

(dog barking)

(Angela gasps)

- [Bruce] Stop being difficult.

(Angela gasps) (dramatic music)

- Mama.

(Angela gasps)

(ominous music)

(Bruce groans)

- [Bruce] We'll find him either way.

So where is he?

(ominous music)

(Taz growls)

- Holy Mary, Mother of God, please protect my precious boy

and protect-- - I assure you

we'll find him. - Help them find each other.

Keep them all safe.

(ominous music)

(Angelino grunting)

- [Bruce] This is your last chance.

Where is he?

- I only have one request.

Please don't shoot me in the head.

(Bruce sighs)

(Bruce grunts) (tense music)

(gun fires)

- She knew what she was doing.

The bitch was playin' us.

(Bruce sighs)

The kid's long gone by now.

(Angelino grunting)

(Taz grunts) (Angelino babbles)

(Taz growls)

(Taz barks)

- (sighs) My last quarter.

This shit better not go straight to voicemail,

or we fucked, man.

(solemn music) (dogs barking)

(upbeat music) (insects buzzing)

(phone rings)

(Willy screams)

- Oh not now.

(whimpers) My ass is gonna explode.

(phone rings) (Willy grunting)

What?

- [Angelino] Hey, Willy, is that you?

- [Willy] Oh hey, my dude, how's life on the run?

- [Angelino] You need to find us another spot, man.

We can't hide out here.

- (grunts) We cannot be talking about this on my home line.

The phones are probably tapped.

That's called surveillance, dumb-ass.

- [Angelino] I know, I know,

but this place is way too hood, man.

Like, I'm cool, but Vinz is--

- Oh my apologies, Caesar's freakin' Palace was

all full up! (phone beeping)

- What the fuck? - Oh hey,

why don't I just call my buddy

at the Ritz for ya? - What's with the beeping?

Stop pushing' buttons, dude. - Oh I wonder if I could

Google hotels that cater specifically to cop-killers!

- [Angelino] Yeah, yeah, yeah, we fucked up,

and we totally owe you one,

but can you just hook us up one last time, like a plan B

or like a relative we could stay with or something?

- What am I, your travel agent?

(grunts) That's all I got, guys.

And you two better not come back here because the CIA,

and also I'm dealing with an emergency situation right now.

- [Angelino] Willy, we not playin' around, man.

We in some real deep shit right--

(Willy grunts)

(phone buzzing) What?

He hung up on me.

- Oh I see how it is.

Fine, guys, be that way. (phone buzzing)

(dramatic music)

- [Gang Member] This is Palm Hills.

You better quit that shit around here.

This is our turf.

Think you can wear that shit around me?

- [Vinz] I don't think we should stay here, Lino.

Look how much we stand out, and I'm half-naked.

- Sorry, I know you like that shirt.

But we couldn't risk them seeing you in green.

- [Vinz] (sighs) Yeah, I know.

- [Angelino] Hey, but look on the bright side,

cops ain't gonna find us here,

'cause they won't set foot in this part of town.

(scoffs) Even they not that crazy.

- [Vinz] That makes me feels so much better

about our situation.

- [Angelino] Just gotta keep our heads down,

don't disrespect nobody.

Just keep walkin' and hope we don't die.

Same ground rules as back home, right?

(solemn music)

(crow squawks)

- Yo, what's good, cuz?

(Angelino gasps)

This ain't no place for no little motherfuckers like you.

And give thy thoughts no tongue

nor any other unproportioned thought his act.

That's Shakespeare. - Yeah, that's right.

- Oh, see, this guy Willy's our friend, and um,

well, it's kinda complicated, but, but I,

I, I, I mean, we, we, we come from, um, Dark Meat City,

and me and my boy Vinz here, we need a little break,

you know, like a little vacation.

So Willy hooked us up with a place to chill for a bit, and--

(Angelino shrieks) (gun fires)

- Oh shit! - Fuck!

(tires screech)

(guns firing) (Angelino groaning)

- [Gang Member] Oh shit, go, come on!

(Vinz groaning)

- Come on, Vinz, we got to move.

(gang members chattering) (solemn music)

Well, it's a shithole,

but at least we got a place to lay low.

That's what matters.

Just a place to chill till this shit blows over.

(crow squawks)

- What?

Why are the crows even aggressive?

(door squeaks)

- [Angelino] It's weird without my roaches.

I read that lost cats can travel like hundreds of miles

to find their owner.

I wish my roaches could do that.

(door squeaks) (crow squawks)

If we're lucky, maybe we'll get shot before we starve.

So there's that.

- [Vinz] I was thinkin' just maybe we can go to the cops.

Tell 'em what happened, they'll let us go.

- Oh shit, you're right, bruh.

Yeah, too bad you didn't say nothin' to the cops

that was in our apartment tryin' to kill us, yesterday.

(box clatters) Oh.

- [Vinz] What was that?

Did the box come with a prize?

(upbeat music)

(Angelino sighs)

- [Angelino] Man, we even got power?

- [Reporter] Are very dangerous.

These two criminals are wanted for first degree murder,

violence against the police,

resisting arrest and conspiring against the United States

government. - Huh, what, what?

Is that us?

- If you encounter these individuals,

please do not approach or engage them in any way

for your safety.

I repeat-- - Jesus!

What the fuck is goin' on, man?

Still feeling the whole turn yourself in idea?

- [Vinz] Turn it up, wait, wait, turn, turn, shh, shh, shh,

just listen, turn it up.

- [Reporter] At 666-3333.

(television clicks)

(television pops)

- Ah, no, no, no, no, no, yesterday,

I was just a normal fuckin' dude minding my business,

and today, I'm a goddamned terrorist?

(solemn music)

- [Vinz] Eh, if you look at the bright side,

least we don't have to worry

about someone calling the police on us, here.

(solemn music)

(dramatic music) (dog barking)

(roaches squeaking) (solemn music)

(crow squawks)

- Huh? - Huh?

(solemn music)

- No fuckin' around this time.

You three with me.

The rest of you,

watch the front. - Hey, hey, hey!

Check out the suits.

Y'all bitches lost or somethin'?

- Hey, big boy, put your dog on his leash,

or I'll put him down.

- The fuck you just say? - You want us

to handle him, boss?

(gun fires)

- Who you gonna put down, now?

Damn, looks like you need a new suit, bitch (laughs).

(gun fires) (Peachfuzz grunting)

- Oh shit, they shot Peach.

- Shit. - Hey, everyone, up here!

- Huh? (dramatic music)

- [Gang Member] Come on!

Cover me!

(intense music)

- The sooner we take them out, the sooner we get the kids.

- Stop sleepin', man. - What the fuck's going

on out there? - Get the fuck up!

Come on!

- I want those two found now!

(Angelino gasps)

- Vinz, damn, they found us.

(solemn music)

No, dude, come on, move! (Vinz grunting)

- They're makin' a run for it,

through the backyard!

- What are you waiting for?

Get to your cars.

(guns firing)

- All the world's a stage,

and all the men and women merely players, action.

(tires squealing) (guns firing)

Tis now the very witching time of night,

when churchyards yawn

and hell itself breathes out contagion to this world.

- Fuck this, fuck this!

Get those bitches!

(henchman grunts)

- [Passenger] You ain't gettin' away, motherfucker!

Get this shit, eat that!

Yeah! - Now could I drink hot blood

and do such bitter business as the...

What the fuck?

(grunts) This bootleg motherfucker.

- To be or not to be, that's the question.

I can quote Shakespeare, too, bitch.

(gun fires) (gang members grunt)

- [Gang Member] They got Shakespeare.

(guns fire) (Bruce grunts)

- [Bruce] Drive.

(tires squeal) (engine revs)

(Bruce grunts)

(henchmen groaning)

(guns firing) (henchman grunt)

- Y'all fuckin' suits should've stayed

where you was from (laughs).

This is Palm Hill.

Hey, you heard me, homie?

(henchman grunting) (solemn music)

(Octavius groans)

- The fuck? - Oh, uh-uh!

- Hey, hey, hey! - Oh shit!

- What the fuck was that? - Careful, hey, careful!

- [Vinz] Oh what in the actual fuck is that?

- [Gang Member] Yo, yo, what is this, man?

- What is that? - I don't know what that is.

(Angelino gasps) (guns firing)

- Get that shit, get that! - Fuck you!

- Huh?

It's, it's that shadow.

- [Vinz] What the fuck is that thing, Lino?

(guns firing)

(crow squawks)

(Vinz panting)

- [Vinz] Huh?

Wait, Lino, stop, stop, stop. - Huh?

- [Vinz] This one has keys.

(rock clatters)

(engine sputters) (bouncy music)

Lino, we're not fucking selling ice cream, bro, just go!

(bouncy music)

Lino, pop the clutch and go forward.

What are you doing, man?

Just drive, drive the car.

- Well, I'm sorry!

I ain't never driven no ice cream truck before.

(bouncy music)

Shit, come on, come on, come on!

(engine sputters)

(engine revs)

(engine sputters)

(engines rev)

- There you are, fuckers!

- They found us.

We got to fucking go.

(engine revs) (Angelino laughs)

(tires squeal)

- Fuck!

(engines revving) (bouncy music)

(Angelino grunts)

- [Angelino And Vinz] What the fuck is going on?

Where are those horrible, tentacled creatures from?

The movies have never been this insane!

And how does Vinz stay alive with his head on fire?

- [Vinz] Wait, did I just say that?

(solemn music)

(bouncy music)

(Vinz yelps)

- Try hittin' 'em.

- Just shut up and drive.

(Angelino grunts) (bouncy music)

(solemn music)

- Vinz, we got to try and slow 'em down.

- But how?

- I don't know, do something, anything!

(bouncy music)

- [Agent Crocodile] Get me a good angle.

(gun firing)

- [Passenger] Wipe that shit off.

(wipers squeaking)

- [Both] Huh?

(driver grunts)

(tires screech)

- Huh?

(solemn music)

- Oh shit!

(horns honking)

(dramatic music)

- I'll kill these bastards myself.

(dramatic music)

(Vinz grunts)

(Angelino grunts)

(tires screeching) (bouncy music)

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

- Shit!

- How we doing?

We lost them yet?

- [Vinz] No, they're still on us.

(solemn music)

- [Angelino] Hey, here, take this.

See if it's loaded.

(gun fires)

Shoot out there, not in here!

- Huh, what did you say?

- Shoot out there, not in here!

(bell rings) (crow squawks)

(cop humming)

(tires squealing) (engines revving)

(bouncy music)

- What the--

(engines rev)

(siren wails)

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

(gun clicks)

- Uh, Lino?

It looks like the cops have joined the party.

(siren wails) (solemn music)

Lino, red light, red light!

- Grab on to something!

(bouncy music)

(solemn music)

- Oh!

(tires screeching) (Agent Crocodile grunts)

(solemn music)

- I'll fuckin' kill you!

(siren wails)

Huh?

Shit, shit, shit!

- See that?

I told you we'd lose 'em.

- [Vinz] About that, Lino,

they're still here.

- Oh no fucking way.

Man, get off my dick!

(dramatic music) (siren wails)

(bouncy music)

Vinz, I'm gonna need you to sit your ass down

and buckle the fuck up.

- Why?

(bouncy music) (engines revving)

(henchmen grunting)

What, what are you doing?

(bouncy music)

- What I'm doing is fuckin' handlin' it!

- No, no, no, no, no, no!

(bouncy music)

(truck clatters)

(bouncy music)

(both chuckling)

- Alive, we're alive.

(engine revving)

(helicopter whirring)

(ominous music)

- They couldn't have gotten very far.

I want you to set up a perimeter.

Start where they were spotted last.

Get every man on the job and tighten the net.

The kid is special.

(ominous music)

If he can actually tell Machos from humans,

then we're in a world of shit.

Promised your mom I'd find you, kid,

and I'm a man of my word.

- [Sarah] In other news, the neighborhood

of Palm Hill became a veritable war zone, this afternoon.

What incited the violence is, as of yet, unknown.

Long-time rival gangs The Grapz

and The Limz have joined forces

against the police units called in to manage--

(strikes thud) (gun clicking)

And the violence only appears to be--

(intense music)

To nearby neighborhoods.

(intense music)

- Thank you, Sarah.

Have there been any reported casualties?

- [Sarah] Sources suggest at least 10 killed

and over 50 seriously injured.

Residents are advised to stay indoors until further notice.

- Please stay safe out there, Sarah.

We'll keep bringing you the latest updates

as we get more information

about the devastating riots playing out

on the South Side of DMC

And in a shocking new development taking place

on the other side of town,

our phone lines have apparently been flooded

with eyewitness reports that a huge colony

of insects has been seen leaving the city and heading in

the direction of the desert. - Holy shit.

You were right. - We don't yet understand

the cause of this mass migration,

but in this journalist's opinion,

if even the cockroaches are fleeing DMC,

what hope remains for the rest of us?

(dramatic music)

- Man, I really hope Pipo remembers

that huge tip I left him.

- [Vinz] I don't know about this one, Lino.

- [Angelino] How long has it been since we ate something?

- Is Pipo even here right now?

I am hungry.

- [Angelino] It's her.

- [Vinz] Wait, Lino, no, no, don't go in, don't go in.

- Trust me on this. (bell rings)

(footsteps clatter)

(chair rattles)

So that's how we got mixed up in all this.

I know it sounds crazy, but--

- I believe you.

I mean, seriously, and no offense,

but you two don't really look

like intimidating criminal masterminds.

Seriously, there's no way you two can run forever.

I bet there are tons of ways to prove you're innocent.

- Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's tons

of ways they can frame us, too.

(stomachs rumbling)

- [Luna] Here, you guys look like you need this more

than I do. (stomachs rumbling)

- [Vinz] Am I the only one's that creeped out

by the fact that Pipo's not back?

(ominous music) (bell rings)

(footsteps clatter)

(Vinz grunts) - Huh?

- [Vinz] Get, get, get off me!

- Like moths drawn to the flame.

(dramatic music)

(Vinz grunting)

(Angelino grunting)

- You did well, Luna, for once.

(Angelino sighs) See. boys?

Follow your brains instead of your dick.

(dramatic music)

(henchmen grunting)

(Angelino growls)

(dramatic music)

(henchman grunting)

(knife clangs)

(Angelino grunts)

- Hmm?

I remember the first time I saw them.

I was scared, too,

until I realized they're not the freaks of nature.

We are.

(dramatic music)

(heartbeat thumping) (tense music)

(doll giggles)

(gun fires)

- Mama. (heartbeat thumps)

(gun fires)

Papa. (heartbeat thumping)

(horn honks)

(doll babbles)

(heartbeat thumps)

(Taz growls)

(solemn music)

- [Man] Nice to finally make your acquaintance...

Angelino. (echoes)

- [Angelino] Who are you?

What do you want from us?

And where's Vinz? (echoes)

- Inquisitive young man.

The real question is, who are you?

You, Angelino, are a being unlike any other in this world.

I imagine you've always known that, deep down.

But where are my manners?

You may call me Mr. K. (echoes)

I am of a race known as the Machos,

spawned from the dark matter of the universe.

You felt that delicious surge of rage

and blood lust course through you,

that uncontrollable desire for destruction.

I know what you're thinking, little one.

Your father was just as stubborn.

You see, he was one of us.

He had so much potential,

that is, until the day he fell in love

and broke our most fundamental law,

never breed with a human.

Macho blood flows through you, Angelino.

Your father did you a disservice entrusting you

to the humans.

You've never been one of them, and you know it.

You belong to the master race,

yet you live a wretched existence

in a wretched city surrounded by wretched people

who despise you for being different.

Your so-called friends are only companions in this misery,

failures keeping you from reaching your true potential.

But now, it's time to spread your wings and fly.

Come be with your own kind, Angelino.

Upon returning to your cell, you will kill your friend,

extinguish the pathetic existence you've been living

since the day your wretched mother birthed you.

So your life can finally start.

(dramatic music)

Kill him and take your rightful place.

(solemn music)

Abandon your humanity

and become who you were always meant to be.

Trust me, my dear boy, we are offering you a true family.

- What, kill Vinz?

- He's almost ready.

You may now send in Luna.

- Kill Vinz?

(Angelino grunting)

I have to (groans).

(solemn music)

(Angelino gasps)

- Angelino.

(Angelino groans)

You must be so confused right now,

and I'm so, so sorry.

Embrace your true nature.

I've been where you are, too.

You need to accept who you really are.

Please, Angelino, this is your destiny.

(gentle music)

(Angelino grunting)

You and I can do great things together.

- (grunts) I must kill Vinz.

(Mr. K laughs)

- No point fighting it.

The battle has been won.

DMC was just phase one.

We've already begun infiltrating the economic

and financial strata of every city in the nation.

We are in your police force, on Wall Street,

in your White House.

Our presence in Congress allowed us to push through laws

which let us spread our agenda unhindered

throughout the globe.

Cruelty, greed, corruption, hate,

the Earth is our playground.

We Machos sustain ourselves off the bounty

of negative energy that seeps like magma

from mankind's every pore.

And believe me, when it comes to negative energy,

this planet's resources are truly inexhaustible.

(solemn music)

(Angela panting)

- Stay here, Angelino.

Mommy will be right back for you.

- [Vinz] Lino?

- [Angelino] I just wanna be a somebody.

- [Angela] Mommy's here, sweetie.

Mommy will always be here for you.

(Luna gasps)

(solemn music)

- (groans) Must kill Vinz.

- It's all right.

He's just in shock.

Release him.

Take him to the cell where his skeleton friend is waiting.

Let him make his own choice.

For the first time in his miserable existence,

young Angelino will be the master of his own fate.

And if his pathetic friend is still alive in the morning,

kill them both.

- But sir, with all due respect,

why even give him a chance?

The kid is a threat.

If he's really that powerful,

why not just eliminate him now?

(Mr. K sighs) (solemn music)

- And that, my dear Macchabee,

is the key difference between our two species.

While you humans don't think twice

about massacring your fellow man,

Machos consider our brothers and sisters lives

to be sacred, for we share a common ideal.

But I don't expect a human to grasp such a concept.

You're dismissed.

- Yes, sir.

- Ensure that you do not question

my authority again, Mr. Macchabee.

(computer beeps)

- Father?

You always told me there was no way I could survive

outside the base,

that I was the only hybrid,

and humans would never accept me.

So how is he able to live--

- And look at his life! (Luna gasps)

Is that the kind of miserable existence you want?

I don't have time for this, Luna.

There are more important matters to attend to.

Make yourself useful elsewhere.

I will not hear another word of it.

(solemn music)

(Luna grunts) (earpiece clatters)

(static hissing)

(roaches squeaking) (engine revs)

- [Tiger] Are we seriously relying on the swarm

of cockroaches for directions?

We should turn around.

This whole thing is fucking nuts.

(Vinz grunting)

(door clacks)

- Lino, dude, I didn't know where they took you.

I was freaking out.

I thought probably they killed you or something,

but (sighs), I'm really glad you're here.

Whoa, whoa, shit, man, are you, you all right?

- We're leaving.

We must part from here.

- What are you talking about, man?

Man, have you seen where we are?

We're in like a bunker with guards and cameras and shit.

It makes Guantanamo look like a Girl Scout retreat.

Whoever put us here doesn't want us to ever get out, man.

They ran all kinds of tests on me, Lino.

Tests, electrodes everywhere,

I mean, my head, my body.

The put it on my junk, man, my junk!

Shit's on you, bro.

We finally lost those assholes,

and you had to go trust some bitch

at Pipo's you barely knew.

I told you something wasn't right about her.

You had to think with your dick.

I hope it was fuckin' worth it.

(tentacle snaps)

Well, congratulations.

Look where your little crush got us.

- For real, you need to shut the fuck up, Vinz.

Man, I don't feel good.

It's happening!

(Angelino sighs)

- Uh, Lino?

- I can't control it.

Stay back!

(fire roars) (Angelino groaning)

- Lino, you're starting to freak me out, man.

- I said get the fuck away from me!

- Lino, you're hurting me, cut it out!

- There is no Lino.

Lino is gone!

- Lino!

- I am not what you think I am.

The pathetic being you called Lino was an illusion.

And your only purpose has been to hold me back.

(Vinz grunting)

Wretched creature, now do you see who I am?

- You're my friend.

- Friend?

(Vinz gasps)

(Vinz coughing)

Looks like that old bald dude was right.

I really am just a fuckin' monster.

- Holy shit, man.

What'd those assholes do to you in there?

- I'm so sorry, Vinz.

I don't understand.

There's this, there's this thing inside of me

that's just-- (metal thudding)

- Quiet down in there!

Or I'll put my boot up your ass, I swear to God!

You fuckin' scumbags.

(Vinz grunting)

That's it, no dinner for you shits tonight!

(solemn music)

(guard yells)

(solemn music)

(static hisses)

(Mr. K laughs)

- [Mr. K] Good, very good.

- Sir, we have a security breach reported

at checkpoint four-C.

- A security breach?

How's that possible?

Huh?

(dramatic music)

(alarm beeps)

- Okay, boys, you survey the perimeter.

I'll check the lab.

These science nerds and old farts won't give me any trouble.

- Yeah, try not to fall asleep, tough guy.

(guards laugh)

- [Guard] Fuckin' Doug, he's not even funny.

(guard yells)

(Fagor grunts)

- We make our escape now or never!

(solemn music)

You ignorant sheep.

(guns click)

(roaches squeaking)

(dramatic music)

(Diablo grunts)

(Tiger growls)

(Tiger grunts)

(roaches squeaking)

(solemn music)

(Vinz grunts)

- [Vinz] You can stay on the ceiling if you like.

- Vinz. - You're getting real close

to me, dude. - Vinz!

- Huh?

Huh?

(ominous music)

Yo, I think I'm losin' it, man.

- Vinz!

(bullets clattering)

Who the fuck are they shooting at?

(dramatic music)

(wrestlers grunting)

(Angelino gasps)

(roaches squeaking)

- Hey, I think we, are you okay?

(Angelino groaning)

Stay with us, bro.

Lino, hold on, hold on!

(solemn music)

(speaks in foreign language)

- (grunts) Shit, we're lost!

- There's an exit here!

(solemn music)

- [Vinz] Hey, stay with me, Lino.

Lino, please don't fall asleep.

Don't fall asleep.

(dramatic music)

(solemn music)

(Taz grunts)

(Angelino gasping)

- Daddy, Daddy, is that you?

- You're mother didn't abandon you, son.

She hid you from them.

Sacrificed her life to save yours.

Your mother loved you with all her heart.

(solemn music)

I did everything in my power

to protect the two of you,

to keep you safe.

They were too strong for me.

- Daddy?

- Become who you truly are, my son.

- [Fagor] The Machos are malevolent beings,

nasty creatures who made a pact with power hungry humans.

But they never truly trusted them,

not enough to breed with, anyway.

So they created their own hybrids in a lab,

hybrids that feel neither fear nor pain

and are unburdened by conscience,

the perfect fusion of the two species.

But this little fella's different.

He's the organic flawed fruit of a forbidden love.

As you can see,

offspring from such a union inherit traits at random.

Their potential is limitless.

- [Diablo] Yeah, yeah, Doc,

so how do we kill these Machos?

- [Fagor] Like all creatures

from the pits of hell, they abhor the cold.

It's no coincidence that for decades,

politicians have been working surreptitiously

to bring about an era of global warming,

emitting greenhouse gases, massive deforestation,

subsidizing fossil fuels.

You get the idea.

It takes time, this terraforming.

By pushing us towards extinction,

they've tipped Earth's balance to their favor.

And why wouldn't they?

When their years of well-laid plans

could be irrevocably compromised

by some pesky winter snowstorm.

(static hissing)

(Angelino gasping)

(wood banging)

(Vinz grunting)

(Vinz sighs)

- [Vinz] Lino!

(Vinz laughs)

Yo, Sleeping Beauty.

You've been knocked out for like three days, man.

I wasn't gonna slip you the tongue or anything, you know.

I don't do that.

I'm, I'm a gentleman.

- Vinz, where the hell are we?

(torch humming)

(metal clanging)

- Time for a smoke break. - Whatever!

Just don't do that shit too close to me.

I don't want anything to blow up.

- Always smoke break this, pee break that!

I need you gentlemen to hunker down and focus.

We have a world to save!

- There's no way we're gonna finish this in time.

- My word, you lot are worse

than a bunch of whiny teenagers.

Stick to the plan and no more godforsaken breaks.

♪ Budda, budda, buh ♪

♪ My name is Feliz, and I have gas ♪

Uh, you in here, skeleton man?

Hey, the kids went AWOL!

(boys panting)

- [Angelino] We didn't belong there, man.

Look at us, we can't even save ourselves.

How we gonna save the world?

(hip hop music)

- [Rapper] When you come to my show, you're going to a war.

And I'm all for violence, chaos (mumbles).

- [Angelino] Anyone who wants

to disappear goes to Mexico, right?

- [Vinz] I don't know.

It just doesn't feel right, you know,

skipping town like this.

I mean, what we even gonna do down there?

We've got no marketable skills.

- [Angelino] Yeah, we'll figure it out, man, somehow.

- [Vinz] Whatever, I'm just glad Willy won't be there.

- Oh shit, I forgot about Willy.

Poor little dude probably thinks we dead.

I mean, we were kind of his only family, right?

- [Vinz] (sighs) I still got a dollar left.

The phone's right there if you want to hit him up.

(phone ringing)

(Willy whimpering)

- [Agent Crocodile] Ah, that must be them.

(gun clicks)

You go off script, I'll blow your fuckin' head off.

(phone beeps)

- Hey, it's ringin'.

- Uh, greetings.

- [Angelino] Yo, dude, it's us.

What's good, man? - Funny you should ask.

I'm kinda in a situation right now (gasping).

- Hey, I thought I told you not

to pull anything funny, you little piece of shit.

- Hello, hello, Willy, Willy!

(sighs) What the, what's up with this piece of shit phone?

- [Willy] Hello?

- [Angelino] Oh good, I hear you now.

Me and Vinz got some real shit to fill you in on, bro.

- [Willy] What a coincidence, so do I.

Capital info, back home now,

life or death questions?

Did I say it right?

- [Angelino] What the fuck are you talkin' about, dude?

Hey, is somewhere there? - Oh man.

- [Willy] Just come back.

It's a super big emergency.

(yelps) I can't talk about it.

- What?

Willy, man, I can't understand you, dude.

Hey, are you on somethin', bro?

For real, you're not making any sense.

Capital info, what?

- I don't know what to say.

- Uh-uh.

- (squeals) I can't tell you over the phone.

Just get your asses here now.

(phone buzzing)

- What, hello, Willy?

- [Vinz] What's up?

What'd he say?

- [Angelino] Yeah, he said he needs

to tell us some important shit.

Then that motherfucker hung up on me.

Was actin' real weird the whole time, man.

- [Vinz] So?

He's always weird.

- [Angelino] I don't know, man.

Something sounded off.

I think we've got to go back.

- [Vinz] Back to DMC, are you crazy, man?

- [Angelino] Yeah, you're right.

It's too risky. - Damn straight,

it's too risky.

- Willy's a survivor.

He don't need us.

(solemn music)

But if he's really in danger,

we can't just leave our boy hangin' like that.

- Fuck, Willy!

How long we gonna keep lettin'

this douchebag fuck our lives up?

He's your boy, Lino, not mine.

It's not my job to handle his shit.

We have to fuckin' do is get out of here,

away from the DMC, away from the tentacle mafia

and from motherfuckin' Willy!

He's nothin' but fuckin' trouble, man.

(Vinz grunts)

Don't just look at me.

Let's go save him.

(Angelino chuckles)

- [Angelino] Hang tight, Willy.

(sirens wail)

(guns firing)

- [Reporter] As DMC police try

to quell the violent riots plaguing the city,

President Gore Tex made an official statement

declaring the riots--

- [Man] Hey, hey, check these two out.

- Huh?

Sit tight, cat boy.

(Willy whimpering) (insects buzzing)

This better be your friends,

or you'll be in a world of hurt.

Your performance on the phone was shit.

Let's hope they bought it.

If not, I might get creative and shove some fireworks up

that furry little ass of yours.

(Willy gasps) 'Cause hey,

I'm feelin' festive!

Little secret, even as a kid,

I loved torturing the animals.

So part of me hopes your friends don't show up.

(Agent Crocodile sniffs)

Oh for fuck's sake.

I'm sweatin' my fuckin' balls off in here.

It's hotter than Satan's anus in this piece of shit trailer.

Don't you have a fan in here?

Jesus Christ (gasps).

It can't be.

No fuckin' way, they actually came back.

Those fuckwits are unbelievable (laughs).

(Willy whimpers)

(Willy gasps) Oh this is too perfect.

Your boyfriends are here to rescue you.

Hold it, now say cheese.

Come on, out of the way, asshole.

(sighs) Don't move.

No, no, no, no, stay right there.

- [Man] Hey, these are the dudes that are wanted!

- There you are.

Son of a bitch.

(solemn music)

Come on, show me your eyes.

Good night.

No!

(gun fires)

- [Man] Did anyone see that?

Let's get this motherfucker, man, get him!

Fuck you, fuck you! - Where'd it come from?

(sings in a foreign language)

(explosion roars) - Oh shit!

- [VinZ] Shit!

Those shots came from Willy's.

(sings in a foreign language)

Oh man.

(guns firing) (Agent Crocodile grunting)

(sings in a foreign language)

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

(explosion roars) (gang members yelling)

- Willy.

(guns firing) (gang members grunting)

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

(Willy yelps)

- [Agent Crocodile] Let's go!

(guns firing)

(rocket roars)

(sings in a foreign language)

- [Sarah] What you're witnessing

is a Channel 7 World's Ahead exclusive.

A shootout has just erupted in the Southland neighborhood,

which had until now escaped involvement

in the surrounding riots.

Wait, hold on, I can see a man climbing

onto the roof of a trailer.

Is it another terrorist?

No, uh, he looks like a lone wolf gunman.

- Oh, you want a fuckin' war?

Then you'll get one!

Say hello to my little friend.

- Man, we gotta save Willy. - Huh?

Are you crazy?

That's suicide.

- [Angelino] But if I don't try,

I won't be able to live with myself.

Know what I'm saying?

(Willy whimpering) (guns firing)

Like, I may be a loser,

but I'm not a fucking coward. - What?

Wait, Lino, wait!

Fucking Willy.

(sings in a foreign language)

- Huh?

- Get the fuck out of here, (speaks in foreign language).

(sings in a foreign language)

Wrong way!

- (laughs) Run, you little punk!

(gun firing) (Agent Crocodile laughing)

(Agent Crocodile grunts)

(sings in a foreign language)

- I got him!

(Agent Crocodile groans)

(Willy whimpering)

- What took you douchebags so long?

(helicopter whirring)

(Agent Crocodile grunting)

(gun clicks)

- [Sarah] Ladies and gentlemen,

we are now witnessing an extraordinary sight,

an unidentified flying object.

(Agent Crocodile gasping)

Trajectory indicates that it originated

from the desert east of DMC.

We still don't know what it is or why--

(Feliz gasps)

(speaks in foreign language)

- It's out of our hands now.

(rocket sizzling)

(explosion roars)

- [Sarah] The UFO just exploded.

This must be the work of a--

(static hisses) (car alarms wailing)

(gang members gasping)

(helicopter sputtering)

- Hey! - Huh?

- Hey, look out! - What's going on?

- Idiot! - Hey, come on, fast!

(helicopter sputtering)

(Agent Crocodile moans)

- Lino?

Lino!

(car alarms wail)

(Angelino sighs)

(thunder crackling)

(rain patters)

(Angelino gasps)

(solemn music)

- Uh, Doc, this wasn't part of the plan.

- Wait for the temperature to drop.

You'll see.

(thunder cracking)

(propeller squeaks)

- [Vinz] Lino!

Holy shit, you're all right.

What the hell was that in the sky?

You think it was the luchadors' rocket?

- I don't know.

Why's it so cold?

(rain pattering) (solemn music)

(Willy whimpering)

(Willy sniffs)

(solemn music)

(people yelling)

(helicopter whirring)

(explosion pops)

(solemn music)

(Angelino gasping)

- [Vinz] Yo, it's snowing in the DMC.

That's sick. (Angelino grunts)

Shit, Lino!

- I, I can't, I can't move.

I'm freezin' up inside.

I'm scared, Vinz.

(Angelino gasping)

- [Willy] No, Lino, you're turnin'

into a Popsicle. (crow squawks)

Hey, you're not allowed to die on us, okay?

- I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I think it's in front of me.

- [Willy] Then make a fuckin' U-turn.

Don't go into the light.

- Huh?

You got a lot of nerve showing your face around here

after what you did.

(Angelino gasping)

Man, leave us the fuck alone.

You've been nothing but trouble since we met you.

(solemn music)

Lino, please don't fall for this shit again.

(Angelino groaning)

Oh shit, Lino.

(Willy gasps)

(lips smack)

- [Angelino] My heart, it's warming up.

- You did the same for me.

Thank you for showing me there's another way, Angelino.

I believed no one would accept me,

that they'd hate me, so I hated them first.

But feeding on hatred leaves such a bitter taste.

I'm quickly learning I much prefer the sweetness

of a stolen kiss.

- Uh, uh, guys!

(dramatic music) (kids grunt)

(Luna gasping) (solemn music)

- Why are you so desperate to be like them?

- Hey, you fuckin' (speaks in foreign language).

(guns firing)

(gang member panting)

(gang member grunts)

- They made me lose my train of thought.

Where were we?

(kids grunting) (tense music)

(gun clicks) (Angelino gasps)

(groans) This has never happened to me.

(gun clicks)

- Get the fuck away from her!

(Bruce grunts)

(dramatic music)

(Bruce growls)

(fighters grunting) (dramatic music)

Hah!

(Angelino grunts)

(solemn music)

- Fight, Angelino, do something!

Free your inner tentacle monster, dude.

You have to.

- [Angelino] I'd rather die.

(dramatic music)

- Well, you're about to if you don't get up.

Transform, dude!

(Bruce and Angelino grunting) (dramatic music)

Oh shit, he's gonna kill him.

(Bruce grunts)

(Angelino gasps)

- [Mr. K] Abandon your humanity

and become who you were always meant to be.

(Angelino gasps)

(Bruce grunts)

(Angelino gasping)

(Bruce panting)

(Angelino gasping)

- [Taz] Become who you truly are, my son.

(Angelino grunting)

- No beast.

Today, it's gonna be you and me.

(Bruce yells) (Angelino grunts)

- What are you doing, man?

You've got tentacles, use them!

- Hell, no.

I'm never lettin' that monster control me ever again.

(Bruce grunts)

- Sort that shit out in therapy, man.

You need to Hulk out, or you're dead.

(tense music)

Fine, I got this.

I'ma bust a cap in your ass, dude, 'cause I'm...

You're not gonna know what hit you.

I'm fine, I got this.

(gun fires) (Vinz grunts)

(Willy gasps)

(dramatic music)

(Bruce growls)

(Willy whimpering)

(Vinz grunts)

(Willy whimpering)

(Bruce grunts)

- [Willy] Looks like you guys got this.

See you back at Pipo's.

(Willy squealing)

(tense music)

(gun clicks)

- Such power at your disposal

and you did nothing with it.

(Willy panting)

(Willy yelps)

(Willy whimpering)

Because you're a goddamn coward.

And that's why you ended up on the wrong side of a gun.

(Angelino gasping)

- Thus bad begins

(guns clicking)

and worse remains behind. (dramatic music)

Hamlet, act three, scene four.

(Bruce grunts)

Eye for an eye, motherfucker.

He who lives by the sword,

dies by the sword! (gang cheers)

- Hell, yeah! - Dude, that's what

I'm talkin' about. - Yeah!

(gang cheering) (Angelino groans)

- Luna.

- Nobody better! - Long-time comin'!

- [Gang Member] This motherfucker ain't doin' it.

- [Gang Member] Now, do this!

(gang members chattering) (Angelino grunting)

(gang members chattering)

(solemn music)

- Luna. - Hmm?

(solemn music)

(Angelino grunts)

(Angelino gasping)

- [Angelino] My heart, it's getting cold again.

(solemn music)

- So, Doc, you think we got rid of them,

I mean, for good?

(Fagor grunts)

- [Tiger] (sighs) And no one will ever know it was us

who saved them.

- [Diablo] And we must keep it that way.

- [Angelino] It's been over two months

since it all went down.

The snow's finally starting to melt.

The city's slowly gettin' its old groove back.

(gentle guitar music)

The news stopped talking about the UFO, the snow, all of it.

They said it was eco-terrorism,

that a satellite crashed into the stratosphere.

And now, nothing.

None of it happened.

Life picked up exactly where it left off, well, almost.

When your old president freezes to death,

you elect a new one.

I don't know if they're actually gonna be able

to change anything in this fucked-up country,

but I think there's reason to hope.

Still haven't heard from Willy,

except on the music channels.

He's going through a mystical phase.

Just dropped his first single.

Hmm, it's all right.

♪ Yeah, yeah, it's your boy Willy ♪

♪ Trippin' in his lil' shades ♪

♪ Livin' here in outer space ♪

♪ Got no oxygen mask ♪

♪ It don't matter, don't need to ask ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the oxygen ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm the one multiplying the oxygen ♪

- [Angelino] His karma's probably fucked.

But as long as he's multiplying the oxygen,

then he's good, I guess.

Sooner or later, he'll come crawling back to us.

You'll see.

Nobody can stand Willy for more than a month.

Me and Vinz, our asses are back at Rios Rosas.

It's nasty as ever, but hey, it's home.

Plus, we found a new TV.

So everything's cool. - Watch as they face off

in a traditional two-on-two matchup.

Oh, kick to the plexus.

And a Hammer Smash!

(roach squeaks)

- Oh, I almost forgot. (roach squeaking)

My roaches are back, too,

but without any luchadors.

(roaches squeaking)

(solemn music)

- [Announcer] He falls on his back.

What's Tiger doing?

This does not look good!

And what the--

- Vinz finally got hired someplace.

You ready for this?

At Pipo's, where you and me first met.

(door clacks)

- [Vinz] Yo, I'm home!

What's good, man?

- Eh, you know, just writin' love letters

to a girl with no address.

- Yeah, she wasn't at Pipo's today, either, man.

Sorry.

- [Angelino] Well, maybe tomorrow.

- [Vinz] Maybe.

- [Angelino] I still think about you,

all the damn time,

where you are,

what you're doing.

And you?

You ever think about me,

from time to time?

(solemn music)

This has been Angelino, coming to you live

from Rios Rosas, DMC, New California,

in the United States of America

on Planet Earth, which is located in...

You know what?

I got no fuckin' idea what's out there after that.

(Angelino chuckles)

Thanks, Luna.

For everything.

(solemn music)

(Mr. K laughs)

(ominous music)

Oh, okay.

♪ Light as a kiss, outta control ♪

♪ Outta control, outta control ♪

♪ Heart like a stone restarting to beat ♪

♪ Restarting to beat, restarting to beat ♪

♪ Now our bodies dripping with gold, dripping with gold ♪

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ On the grave of broken dreams ♪

♪ Hard as a kick, loud as a gun, loud as a gun ♪

♪ Together we come, together we leave, together we leave ♪

♪ Surrounded now by cups overflown, overflown ♪

♪Here we are, on the grave of broken dreams ♪

♪ Stage diving has broken my bones ♪

♪ So tell me what am I supposed to do ♪

♪ It's not a party baby but a revolution ♪

♪ 'Cause I am all against institutions ♪

♪ Time is money for you, dude ♪

♪ I wanna spend it all ♪

♪ But baby, take back control of my body and soul ♪

P I'm comin' back in the game ♪

♪ 'Cause love is insane ♪

♪ There's no gain, just pain ♪

♪ Always the same ♪

♪ Light as a kiss, outta control ♪

♪ Outta control, outta control ♪

♪ Heart like a stone restarting to beat ♪

♪ Restarting to beat, restarting to beat ♪

♪ Now our bodies dripping with gold, dripping with gold ♪

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ On the grave of broken dreams, of broken dreams ♪

♪ Hard as a kick, loud as a gun, loud as a gun ♪

♪ Together we come, together we leave, together we leave ♪

♪ Surrounded now by cups overflown, overflown ♪

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ On the grave of broken dreams ♪

♪ Hard as a kick, loud as a gun, loud as a gun ♪

♪ Together we come, together we leave, together we leave ♪

♪ Surrounded now by cups overflown, overflown ♪

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ On the grave of broken dreams ♪

♪ Light as a kiss, outta control ♪

♪ Outta control, outta control ♪

♪ Heart like a stone restarting to beat ♪

♪ Restarting to beat, restarting to beat ♪

♪ Now our bodies dripping with gold, dripping with gold ♪

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ On the grave of broken dreams ♪

("De La Calle Mutafuka"')

(sings in a foreign language)