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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,473 --> 00:00:05,495 After a recent string of setbacks, 2 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:08,550 things were finally starting to look up for young Zo-Zo. 3 00:00:10,486 --> 00:00:12,863 I'd successfully held down a job at the bookstore 4 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:16,159 for two weeks and only called in sick twice. 5 00:00:16,823 --> 00:00:19,326 Shout-out to my work ethic! 6 00:00:19,351 --> 00:00:23,188 And I'd even complied with their basic-ass khakis dress code. 7 00:00:23,213 --> 00:00:26,570 I was officially on my way to financial freedom. 8 00:00:28,441 --> 00:00:30,777 Well, not exactly freedom. 9 00:00:33,842 --> 00:00:36,791 But at least like a halfway house situation. 10 00:00:36,816 --> 00:00:40,658 But that wasn't all. My academics had also improved. 11 00:00:43,050 --> 00:00:46,489 After all the hard work it took to get my life back on track, 12 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,158 not to mention getting my car back from Dad, 13 00:00:49,192 --> 00:00:52,128 I decided it was time to reward myself 14 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:55,175 with a weekend devoted to self-care. 15 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:59,735 And as much as I deserved it, my girls needed it even more. 16 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,517 With Ana having her Aaron problems, 17 00:01:02,542 --> 00:01:05,274 and Nomi's situation with Professor Hewson, 18 00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:07,244 I decided to take the MLK weekend... 19 00:01:07,269 --> 00:01:08,675 ...and get out of town for a girls' 20 00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:10,212 self-care retreat. 21 00:01:10,213 --> 00:01:11,594 Whoo! 22 00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,650 And where better to do that 23 00:01:14,684 --> 00:01:16,530 than at my parents' empty house. 24 00:01:16,555 --> 00:01:19,356 Ladies... welcome to serenity. 25 00:01:19,389 --> 00:01:21,591 Psh. 26 00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:23,860 More like paradise. 27 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,128 M'lady. 28 00:01:29,332 --> 00:01:31,300 M'nightmare. 29 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,937 ♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪ 30 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,639 ♪ I'm grown ♪ 31 00:01:36,672 --> 00:01:39,141 ♪ Learn something new every day ♪ 32 00:01:39,175 --> 00:01:41,711 ♪ I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ♪ 33 00:01:41,743 --> 00:01:44,213 ♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪ 34 00:01:44,246 --> 00:01:47,283 ♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪ 35 00:01:47,317 --> 00:01:51,187 ♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪ 36 00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:52,689 - ♪ I'm grown ♪ - ♪ You can tell me ♪ 37 00:01:52,722 --> 00:01:57,726 ♪ My heart beating so loud ♪ 38 00:01:57,759 --> 00:02:01,797 ♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪ 39 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,268 ♪ I'm grown ♪ 40 00:02:04,293 --> 00:02:05,399 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 41 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,570 What are you doing here?! 42 00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:09,238 And why in the world did you not go skiing 43 00:02:09,271 --> 00:02:10,906 with the rest of the family? 44 00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:14,210 You may not realize it, Zoey, but it is exhausting 45 00:02:14,244 --> 00:02:16,513 being our baby brother's primary caregiver. 46 00:02:16,546 --> 00:02:18,882 Sometimes, I need a break from skin-to-skin, 47 00:02:18,915 --> 00:02:20,382 and so does Devante. 48 00:02:20,416 --> 00:02:23,220 Whatever. Please just do not bother us this weekend. 49 00:02:23,252 --> 00:02:25,154 Okay, Zoey! I see you! 50 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,222 Come through, Johnsons! 51 00:02:26,256 --> 00:02:27,591 You know, I'm almost not mad at you 52 00:02:27,624 --> 00:02:29,326 for making us miss the Martin Luther King Parade 53 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,726 for the first time in our lives. 54 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,394 - Mm-hmm. - Zo, I thought that you said 55 00:02:32,428 --> 00:02:35,665 you grew up wealthy, but I mean, are these floors even heated? 56 00:02:36,899 --> 00:02:39,269 Ladies! Welcome! 57 00:02:39,302 --> 00:02:41,937 Please, make yourselves at home. 58 00:02:41,971 --> 00:02:44,441 There are plenty of beds for everyone. 59 00:02:44,473 --> 00:02:47,543 I mean, obviously, you are welcome to crash with me, 60 00:02:47,577 --> 00:02:50,780 assuming that you're not allergic to spider silk. 61 00:02:50,812 --> 00:02:55,184 Um... can I actually talk to you alone for a second? 62 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,192 Night... mare. 63 00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:06,128 Junior. Sweet, sweet Junior. 64 00:03:06,162 --> 00:03:08,265 How do I say this gently? 65 00:03:08,298 --> 00:03:13,235 You know, me and you, we shared one drunken, 66 00:03:13,269 --> 00:03:15,872 sweaty night on the dance floor, and you made it rain on me, 67 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:18,708 but, uh, that's pretty much where it ends. 68 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,410 You know, you're my girl's brother, and I... 69 00:03:21,443 --> 00:03:25,482 I just don't want this to become a... a "thing." 70 00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:28,618 Say no more. I can read between the lines. 71 00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:30,653 - Okay. - You're afraid I'll hurt you. 72 00:03:30,686 --> 00:03:33,756 Plus dating a single parent isn't for everyone. 73 00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:36,425 You are not Devante's father! 74 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,495 Spider silk. 75 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,666 I'm disturbed. 76 00:03:43,699 --> 00:03:46,636 Okay. Yeah. 77 00:03:46,668 --> 00:03:47,836 It's all taken care of. 78 00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:50,840 Great! Well, in that case... 79 00:03:50,872 --> 00:03:52,775 we are here this weekend 80 00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:55,612 to cleanse our mind, body, and soul. 81 00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:58,415 Excuse me. I know Jesus. My soul stays clean. 82 00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,916 Okay, well, that means no phones 83 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,351 or social media, 84 00:04:02,384 --> 00:04:07,323 and definitely no alcohol, drugs, or junk food. 85 00:04:08,858 --> 00:04:10,493 Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not going through 86 00:04:10,525 --> 00:04:13,295 this breakup without carbs. 87 00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,431 Do you have spaghetti that I can dip this in? 88 00:04:15,465 --> 00:04:17,534 Honey, it wasn't, like, really a breakup. 89 00:04:17,566 --> 00:04:19,501 - Yeah. - You're right. 90 00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:21,503 I don't even get the dignity 91 00:04:21,537 --> 00:04:23,205 of a breakup title because I didn't even 92 00:04:23,239 --> 00:04:24,506 get the relationship! 93 00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:27,319 Uh, well, this... this here is exactly why 94 00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,371 this weekend is so important. 95 00:04:29,404 --> 00:04:32,540 We need to heal ourselves because no one else will. 96 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:35,599 Right. So how exactly does the healing happen? 97 00:04:35,624 --> 00:04:37,077 - Mm-hmm. - Good question. 98 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,748 By treating ourselves well, clearing our heads, 99 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,283 and relaxing, which actually brings me 100 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,319 to our first self-care activity. 101 00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,790 Ooh! 102 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,825 Adult coloring books. 103 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,094 Ugh, white-people shit. 104 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,996 And on MLK weekend. 105 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,166 Mnh-mnh. 106 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,434 Hi, it's me, Aaron. 107 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,503 I'm a part of the Hawkins Brotherhood. 108 00:05:02,537 --> 00:05:06,474 While we here at Cal U enjoy beautiful, well-kept facilities, 109 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,109 our surrounding community isn't so fortunate. 110 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,477 There's no net here. 111 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:13,481 How do you know if you make it or not, you know? So... 112 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:17,017 But we want to give these kids the park they deserve. 113 00:05:17,051 --> 00:05:21,955 Uh, so, let's clean up this park and pass... 114 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,590 a long-lasting legacy. 115 00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,027 [Bleep] 116 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,364 There you have it. 117 00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,866 There you have it. You guys feel that? 118 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,601 That is why we are here. 119 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,869 We have four regulation basketball courts 120 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,604 here in these privileged walls of Cal U, 121 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:40,709 but the kids on the next block don't even have a net... 122 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,943 to put on their hoop. 123 00:05:41,976 --> 00:05:44,346 So, I want us to dig deep, 124 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,013 and let's show these kids that Titans care! 125 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,622 We're taking donations right here. 126 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:48,916 So, uh, yeah. 127 00:05:48,941 --> 00:05:51,452 We Titans care! All right, whoo! 128 00:05:51,486 --> 00:05:53,488 All right. 129 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,789 Play the music, play the music. Thank you. Enjoy yourselves. 130 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,701 - What do you guys think? - Call the cops, man! 131 00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,878 We murdered that video. 132 00:05:59,903 --> 00:06:02,120 Don't call anyone yet. We didn't murder anything, okay? 133 00:06:02,145 --> 00:06:03,298 We still need donations. 134 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,332 What are we looking like on that? 135 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:06,700 $50... $50. 136 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,404 Are you kidding me? That's it?! Guys... 137 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:12,139 Bro, yo, give it some time, playboy. 138 00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:13,541 Yo, this joint's just getting started. 139 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:16,544 Doug, I need you circulating, getting this conversation started. 140 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,678 We need donations. 141 00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:20,548 Vivek, this music... What is it? Wrong. 142 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,182 We need something that makes people want to give. 143 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,485 Like, uh, Gucci Mane or, um... Michael McDonald. 144 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,986 - Gotcha. - All right. 145 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:28,522 As for me, it's go time. 146 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,558 Ma'am! 147 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,530 Oh, isn't this so soothing? 148 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,432 No, it's whack. 149 00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:41,436 I did not miss the MLK parade to color dumbass mermaids. 150 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,938 We need some drinks. 151 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,706 Look what I brought! 152 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,708 Yes! Let's celebrate these civil rights. 153 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,612 What? N-No! Guys, this weekend is not about celebrating civil rights. 154 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,114 Huh? 155 00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,450 And that sounded rough. Um, it is. 156 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,852 But it is also about celebrating us. 157 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,222 What kind of dry and dusty celebration is this? 158 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,557 I am bored as hell. 159 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,590 - Yeah. - Yes! 160 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,624 - Excuse me. - I will get the cups! 161 00:07:04,659 --> 00:07:08,529 Aw, y'all, we're gonna do the ASMR videos next. 162 00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:11,466 "Dear Diary, Steve Newcomb 163 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,469 is def the Lupe Fiasco of our middle school. 164 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,739 His Vines are like so on fleek!" 165 00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:19,774 Oh, my God. Where did you get that? 166 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,775 I don't know, some random, sealed box 167 00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,546 that had your name on it and said "do not open." 168 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,713 - No. Well, guess what. - Hmm? 169 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,650 My diary is not for public consumption. 170 00:07:28,683 --> 00:07:29,918 Respect my privacy. 171 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,652 Oh, come on! 172 00:07:31,686 --> 00:07:33,955 You have us locked up in this bougie subdivision 173 00:07:33,988 --> 00:07:36,624 with no phones, no TV, and no [bleep]. 174 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,058 Let us have some fun. 175 00:07:38,092 --> 00:07:39,727 #self-care. 176 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,094 - Fine. - Yes. 177 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,431 But I... will be doing the reading. 178 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:44,499 - Okay. - Yes! 179 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:45,933 Oh, my God, this one. 180 00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:48,503 "Dear Diary, I can't believe my mom came 181 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:50,505 to the roller rink where Steve Newcomb and I 182 00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,005 were couple skating. 183 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:55,510 O.M.G., tonight my life literally ended." 184 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,743 So what happened? 185 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,080 Well, okay, all I did was borrow a jacket 186 00:07:59,113 --> 00:08:01,950 she already told me I couldn't, but I mean, it was so dope... 187 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,985 like, big, white collar, striped, couture, you know? 188 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,754 Okay, that's baby bullshit compared to what happened 189 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,691 with Sky when she wrote down about her first 190 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,594 oral sex experience in her diary. 191 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,528 - Wait, how old were you?! - Okay, hold on. 192 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:21,636 Okay, I thought it meant just talking about sex, okay? 193 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,505 So one day, ashy-backed Gerald... 194 00:08:26,541 --> 00:08:29,643 ...decided to tell the whole class a sex story during recess, 195 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,678 and then I went home and wrote in my diary 196 00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,215 that I'd had oral sex with ashy-backed Gerald... 197 00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:35,883 Wait for it. 198 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,017 ...and then our dad read it. 199 00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:39,119 - Ohh! - Oh, my gosh. 200 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,455 - That's so embarrassing! - Are you serious? 201 00:08:40,488 --> 00:08:42,357 Whoa! 202 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:46,293 Sorry for the interruption, ladies, but I just worked out. 203 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,529 Please try not to stare. You might hurt your eyes. 204 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,032 Ignore him. 205 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:55,202 Um, oh, wait, guys. Listen to this. 206 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,671 This one is hilarious. Um... 207 00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:01,876 "Dear Diary, Hailey thinks she is so friggin' cool 208 00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,044 with her rose gold iPod Touch..." 209 00:09:04,078 --> 00:09:05,713 "...but I don't even care 210 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,482 because while she's making Harlem Shake videos, 211 00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:11,486 I'm over here setting goals." 212 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,720 "By the time I'm 20, I'll have my own blog..." 213 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:16,590 Well, I had a makeup vlog in, like, high school, 214 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:17,724 so chiggity check! 215 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,927 - Okay. - Okay. 216 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,863 "...I'll start my own fashion label..." 217 00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,698 You didn't do that. 218 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,433 "...which Frank Ocean will wear in one of his videos 219 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,235 for like his fifth album..." 220 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,937 That definitely didn't happen. 221 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:33,674 "I cannot wait to leave L.A. the moment I turn 18 222 00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:37,545 and take the world by storm. 223 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:41,182 I know it'll be difficult juggling being a college student 224 00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:46,620 and having a fashion career, but I know I can do it." 225 00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:50,023 Oh, Zoey, you know what else you didn't do? 226 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,892 - Hmm? - Any of that! 227 00:09:51,926 --> 00:09:54,561 Sorry, Diary. But you did eventually get 228 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:58,298 an iPod Touch... that I broke, so... 229 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,977 Reading "Young Zoey's" dreams and realizing 230 00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:10,277 how short "College Zoey" had fallen of accomplishing them, 231 00:10:10,311 --> 00:10:14,081 it became clear I didn't deserve to be rewarded at all. 232 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,750 What are you doing, Zo? You okay? 233 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,719 Yeah, I don't know. 234 00:10:18,753 --> 00:10:21,623 Look at all this stuff... ribbons and good grades 235 00:10:21,656 --> 00:10:25,392 and birthday cards from my dad to his favorite child. 236 00:10:25,426 --> 00:10:27,996 This was me less than three years ago, and I... 237 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:31,832 I just... I just feel embarrassed. 238 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,434 Like, how did I get so far off track? 239 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,271 Okay, Zoey, step away from the box. 240 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,741 Sit down. It's okay. 241 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,743 Embarrassment is being dumped on your own balcony 242 00:10:42,777 --> 00:10:45,412 by a guy you're not even in a relationship with. 243 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,210 I would've jumped. Or pushed his ass. 244 00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:48,749 Either way, somebody would've wound up 245 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:49,827 - on that street. - Yeah. 246 00:10:49,852 --> 00:10:52,086 Okay, but I'm working at a bookstore. 247 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:55,455 That has nothing... zero... to do with fashion. 248 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:58,792 I totally get starting at the bottom... it's necessary... 249 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,827 but this isn't even the right bottom. 250 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,796 Like, I should be so much further ahead. 251 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,032 I get it. I thought I'd be some 252 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,868 Olympic gold medalist by now. 253 00:11:06,901 --> 00:11:08,703 And Sky would at least be bronze. 254 00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,203 Your mama's bronze. 255 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,873 All right, you guys, we need to relax here. 256 00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:14,842 We're 19, okay? We have plenty of time 257 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:17,210 to establish our careers and our love lives. 258 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:20,882 Well... you can say that, Nomi, because you're good. 259 00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:22,116 You have straight A's. 260 00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,484 No financial pressures. 261 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,219 No relationship drama. 262 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,188 Oh, my God, come on. You guys are acting like 263 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,022 I live this charmed life with, like, 264 00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:30,958 heated floors and organic applesauce. 265 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:34,394 Okay, I have... I have things that I'm dealing with. 266 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,998 - Like what?! - Name one. Just one. 267 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,668 Like I'm dating Professor Hewson. 268 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,703 - What?! - Huh? 269 00:11:42,737 --> 00:11:44,872 - Huh? - Hold on. What?! 270 00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:45,707 Who? 271 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,510 How's it looking? 272 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,646 Horrible. Got it. 273 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,082 Uh, excuse me, fellas. 274 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,883 Hey, not to interrupt, uh... I don't know if you saw me. 275 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,186 I'm Aaron, the dude from the video earlier... 276 00:11:58,219 --> 00:12:00,588 well-directed, well-acted... and I was just asking, uh, 277 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,823 if you'd be willing to donate to these kids in our community, man. 278 00:12:02,857 --> 00:12:04,826 It would help out a lot, and I see your kicks, 279 00:12:04,859 --> 00:12:06,359 so I know you got it. All right? 280 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,495 Yeah, I'm wit' it. Love what you're doing. 281 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,364 Really? Thank you. That means a lot, bro. 282 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,100 Guys, you see what I'm talking about? 283 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,568 This man, um... 284 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,703 - Mauricio. - ...Mau... Mauricio 285 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,439 is stepping up and being the change 286 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,906 that he wants to see in the world. 287 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,844 Now, Mauricio just generously donated to us... 288 00:12:22,877 --> 00:12:24,779 $5. $5? 289 00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,047 What are these kids supposed to do with $5? 290 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,249 Um, I said "be the change," not "give me change." 291 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,884 - Do you wanna up this... - Bro, relax. 292 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,387 On top of that $5, I paid $10 to get in. 293 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,756 Fall back. 294 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,123 Fall back. 295 00:12:36,157 --> 00:12:37,557 How about you fall back on my drinks? 296 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,926 I've seen you drink at least $30 worth of Cuban rum, 297 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,195 but all you can give these kids is $5? 298 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,464 That's the type of man you are? 299 00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:44,987 Man [bleep] you and them kids. 300 00:12:45,012 --> 00:12:46,190 - Who you talking to? - Chill. 301 00:12:46,215 --> 00:12:47,541 - Y'all better get your boy! - No, who you talking to?! 302 00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:49,362 He don't know 'Ricio. Like, for real, for real. 303 00:12:49,387 --> 00:12:50,947 No, you know what? All y'all drinking and eating 304 00:12:50,972 --> 00:12:54,541 for free, you don't give a damn about the community! 305 00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:57,244 Is Professor Hewson the one who called you a misogynist? 306 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,113 You called me a misogynist. 307 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,915 - Yeah. - Hold up, is that how you got 308 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,883 an "A" in that class while I've been busy 309 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,619 busting my ass over this boring feminism propaganda? 310 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,156 No. I got an "A" because I'm an "A" student. 311 00:13:08,189 --> 00:13:09,457 And we didn't even start dating 312 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,959 until the semester was over... ish. 313 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,962 Even so, she's still the professor, 314 00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,730 and you're the student. 315 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:19,299 You don't think that's a messed-up power dynamic? 316 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,903 Is it? They're two consenting adults. 317 00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:24,305 - Yeah. - With a 20-year age difference! 318 00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:26,240 So what? It works out for Sarah Paulson 319 00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:27,908 and whatever old lady she's dating. 320 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,243 And can you imagine how wrong it would feel 321 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,314 if she was a 40-year-old male professor? 322 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:36,683 But she's not, and a lot of things 323 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,287 would be different if the genders were reversed. 324 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,922 Guys, I honestly think it's fine. 325 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,490 Well, how do you feel? 326 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,458 You've just been sitting here quiet the whole time. 327 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,995 I mean, I'm sure you have something to say. 328 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,864 Mm-hmm. 329 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,300 I already know how Zoey feels. 330 00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:53,301 - Yeah. - How? 331 00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:55,837 What? Wait, you told her? 332 00:13:57,805 --> 00:13:59,507 Not exactly. 333 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,983 Wow! We are the most secret-keeping group of bitches 334 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,618 I have ever met. 335 00:14:11,752 --> 00:14:13,054 I'm proud of us. 336 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:16,623 Okay, fine, you know what? I-I think... 337 00:14:16,657 --> 00:14:20,161 I think that Nomi is an amazing human being, 338 00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:23,130 and I honestly trust whatever she chooses 339 00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:24,565 is right for her. 340 00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:27,335 And that's Professor Hewson. 341 00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:29,003 - Wow. - Yeah. 342 00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,304 Thank you, Zoey. 343 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:31,404 Of course. 344 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,874 But I still think that telling the both of you was a big mistake. 345 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,642 You guys are honestly being harsher 346 00:14:35,676 --> 00:14:37,711 than Paige even predicted you would be. 347 00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:41,181 Okay, you know, no judgment, Nomi, just pure curiosity. 348 00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:44,730 Like, what led you to smashing our gross old-lady professor? 349 00:14:44,755 --> 00:14:46,586 Okay, you're gross, first of all, 350 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,255 and Paige is amazing, okay? 351 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,657 And we have a real connection. 352 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:53,360 She's smart, and she's interesting, 353 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,062 and she's given me so much great life advice. 354 00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:57,998 I mean, she's the reason why I was honest 355 00:14:58,032 --> 00:15:00,100 and finally came out to my parents, okay? 356 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,903 - Mm-hmm. - I'm really happy for you. 357 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,071 Thank you. 358 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,507 I'ma pray for you. 359 00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:09,075 Yeah, you know what? This is exactly why Paige 360 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,378 told me not to say anything, because people 361 00:15:10,411 --> 00:15:12,513 - are narrow-minded. - Okay, fine. 362 00:15:12,546 --> 00:15:14,047 I'ma pray for Paige's old ass, too. 363 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,916 Mm-hmm. God is good. 364 00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,051 I need to smoke. 365 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,585 - I need a drink. - I need spaghetti. 366 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:19,719 Are you serious? 367 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,254 Okay. 368 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:38,104 We're just six hours into my self-care weekend, 369 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,974 and it's already a total bust. 370 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:44,277 Per usual, yet another one of my well-intentioned goals 371 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,247 just dies a-a painful... 372 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,582 Oh, my God! 373 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,350 Uh! 374 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,486 - Oh, my God! - What happened? 375 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,157 Excuse you! What?! 376 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,960 I thought we were practicing self-care. 377 00:15:58,993 --> 00:16:00,628 Hmm. 378 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,501 - Don't worry about them. - Okay. 379 00:16:08,002 --> 00:16:09,904 Wow. 380 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,072 Wow. 381 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,707 Wow! 382 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,013 I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty happy that 383 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:22,083 the heat about inappropriate relationships is off me. 384 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,450 Oh. 385 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:26,921 What? 386 00:16:26,954 --> 00:16:28,989 She's the one who brought up self-care at me, 387 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,791 and I was just trying to stay on theme. 388 00:16:33,027 --> 00:16:34,195 Wha... 389 00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:36,763 It is not funny, guys! 390 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,099 - I'm sorry. - It's kinda funny. 391 00:16:38,132 --> 00:16:39,333 I do not know 392 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:42,268 what the hell is so amusing about all this! 393 00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,171 I mean, I just watched my little brother 394 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,007 and one of my best friends in the tub 395 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,009 doing God knows what to your feet! 396 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,009 Oh, I can tell you. 397 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,878 No! 398 00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,880 Ugh! You know what? 399 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,681 Self-care weekend is officially over, 400 00:16:54,715 --> 00:16:57,785 so y'all can do whatever you wanna do because I have failed. 401 00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,819 Listen, okay, you made a valiant effort, 402 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,789 but you can't just carve out a weekend and then suddenly 403 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:04,058 - expect everything to be solved. - Mm-hmm. 404 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:07,293 Yeah, Zoey, it's like how you are with your curls. 405 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,628 It just doesn't happen overnight. 406 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,196 - It's a process. - Mm-hmm. 407 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,666 First you start off by trimming off the dead ends, 408 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,234 then you gotta find the right products, 409 00:17:14,268 --> 00:17:16,170 then you pineapple it at night, 410 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,071 and then you plunk it in the morning. 411 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,408 It's about maintenance. Just like self-care. 412 00:17:20,441 --> 00:17:23,177 Yeah, you practice a little bit of it every day. 413 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,678 And, you know, you can't get curl and life goals 414 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,915 in one weekend. 415 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,483 Wow, you're right. 416 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,518 Well, you know what? I just wish you would've told me that 417 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,487 before I spent my last check on those coloring books. 418 00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,424 I said I wanted spaghetti! 419 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,757 Yes. 420 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,592 Should we have, um, spaghetti and wine? 421 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,862 - I would really love that. - Spaghetti and wine! 422 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,497 Spaghetti and wine! 423 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,166 Spaghetti and wine! 424 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,735 Yo, bro, you need to calm that down, man. 425 00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:50,905 Real talk, you don't want problems with 'Ricio. 426 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,174 This can't just be about Mauricio and that dumb donation. 427 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,774 No, it's not just that, okay? 428 00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:57,211 It's the fact that I... I've been busy being an R.A., 429 00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:00,214 I've been busy partying, and this whole Zoey and Ana thing. 430 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,082 You know? This is the first time this year 431 00:18:02,116 --> 00:18:04,218 that I've done a fundraiser, and I couldn't even get a stack 432 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,020 to help clean up a park, you know? 433 00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:09,389 I've... I just feel like I've lost focus. 434 00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:11,592 Hey, come on, man. 435 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,963 Don't be so hard on yourself, man. 436 00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,197 Look. 437 00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:19,532 I think if you take a look at this total, 438 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:23,137 you'll see you surpassed your goal. 439 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:24,938 Are you serious? You... You did this? 440 00:18:24,972 --> 00:18:27,041 Yeah, man! You inspired me! 441 00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,109 Yeah, I see you out here doing your little activism thing, 442 00:18:29,143 --> 00:18:30,277 and I admire that. 443 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,746 And plus, I'm a very successful drug dealer, you know. 444 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,216 I am genuinely touched, man. Thank you. 445 00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:39,119 All right, cute, but y'all wanna wrap this up? 446 00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:40,921 We're sitting ducks out here. 447 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,224 Big 'Ricio never forgets, man. 448 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:46,060 Man, will you chill, please? Nobody's worried about Big 'Ricio. 449 00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,094 - Hold up. - What? 450 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,664 Why does that Jetta not have his headlights on? 451 00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,834 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 452 00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,771 So, in some weird way, the self-care weekend 453 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,273 had actually turned out to be a success. 454 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:04,311 We didn't need all the coloring books, tea, or clean eating. 455 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,846 Apparently, we just needed some quality time 456 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,082 to purge some of our secrets. 457 00:19:09,116 --> 00:19:11,185 And a good laugh at my brother's expense. 458 00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:12,519 There we go! 459 00:19:15,438 --> 00:19:19,160 "Dear Diary, if I had to pick one thing to do 460 00:19:19,193 --> 00:19:21,829 for my 14th birthday party, it would be to raid 461 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,264 my mother's closet and do a fashion show 462 00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:25,366 with my best friends." 463 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:29,869 Here it is... the infamous jacket. 464 00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,372 - This woman throws nothing away. - Oh, my God. 465 00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,941 Oh, my gosh. Dude, your mom's clothes 466 00:19:33,974 --> 00:19:35,309 are so sick. 467 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,511 I know. I mean, this jacket was almost worth 468 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,345 the roller-rink humiliation. 469 00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:40,680 Oh, yeah. 470 00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:42,816 Huh? 471 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,952 - Wh... - You guys... 472 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,820 You know what we should do? 473 00:19:49,156 --> 00:19:50,191 Yes, please. 35622

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