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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,607 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:03,610 (SILENCE) 3 00:00:04,778 --> 00:00:07,490 (SINISTER MUSIC) 4 00:00:15,581 --> 00:00:17,790 And that's why I don't think a woman should ever 5 00:00:17,792 --> 00:00:19,334 have a man as a roommate. 6 00:00:19,336 --> 00:00:22,171 He was so nasty. 7 00:00:22,173 --> 00:00:23,797 I just had to get the hell out of there. 8 00:00:23,799 --> 00:00:27,468 I mean, one time he wanted to put his junk in my... 9 00:00:27,470 --> 00:00:28,720 Squirt Locker. 10 00:00:28,722 --> 00:00:30,683 You never heard of the Squirt Locker? 11 00:00:31,726 --> 00:00:33,309 You know, you need to 12 00:00:33,311 --> 00:00:35,563 start watching some quality entertainment. 13 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,399 So check it, it stars this girl, Anita Humpalot, as a... 14 00:00:40,650 --> 00:00:42,445 Whore for the Reptoids. 15 00:00:43,654 --> 00:00:45,823 Yeah, the Reptoids. 16 00:00:47,409 --> 00:00:48,660 Forget the Illuminati. 17 00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:53,203 It's the Reptoids that really run the show, 18 00:00:53,205 --> 00:00:55,877 but let me tell you something, not on my watch. 19 00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:59,420 Ah, I wouldn't expect you to understand. 20 00:00:59,422 --> 00:01:02,008 (CREEPY MUSIC) 21 00:01:03,258 --> 00:01:05,050 Those bastards think they can just... 22 00:01:05,052 --> 00:01:07,345 Shit all over my place. 23 00:01:07,347 --> 00:01:08,512 Girl, I said, "Mm-mm," 24 00:01:08,514 --> 00:01:10,682 because I wasn't having that. 25 00:01:10,684 --> 00:01:13,518 Then he had the nerve to try to put his hands on me. 26 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,187 Fool even tried to get me to do... 27 00:01:15,189 --> 00:01:16,396 Tentacle porn. 28 00:01:16,398 --> 00:01:18,485 I'm really into tentacle porn. 29 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,611 You know, alotofsquid.com, 30 00:01:21,613 --> 00:01:23,362 let me tell you something, 31 00:01:23,364 --> 00:01:25,491 that's some real mind-blowing stuff there. 32 00:01:26,785 --> 00:01:29,409 I'd be glad to show you. (LAUGHS) 33 00:01:29,411 --> 00:01:30,621 Just don't expect me to use any... 34 00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:31,582 Protection! 35 00:01:33,124 --> 00:01:34,709 You have to know how to defend yourself 36 00:01:37,713 --> 00:01:38,878 when invasion begins. 37 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,508 (SHADOWY MUSIC) 38 00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:47,557 Hand-to-hand combat, 39 00:01:48,767 --> 00:01:49,601 grappling, 40 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,351 with the right technique, 41 00:01:52,353 --> 00:01:54,147 you could really fuck somebody up. 42 00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:59,567 One time this werewolf tried to... 43 00:01:59,569 --> 00:02:00,778 Punch my tits. 44 00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:03,029 I blocked that shit like Jackie Chang. 45 00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:04,573 I was like, "Wah!" 46 00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:07,410 And then I got him in a headlock and went... 47 00:02:07,412 --> 00:02:09,370 (GRUNTING) 48 00:02:09,372 --> 00:02:10,871 Yeah. (LAUGHS) 49 00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:11,707 Yeah. 50 00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:12,749 Yeah! 51 00:02:12,751 --> 00:02:13,750 Oh I knew she liked it, 52 00:02:13,752 --> 00:02:16,669 but you want to know what she was really into? 53 00:02:16,671 --> 00:02:19,299 Vampires. 54 00:02:19,301 --> 00:02:21,300 They're real. 55 00:02:21,302 --> 00:02:23,887 (CREEPY MUSIC) 56 00:02:27,057 --> 00:02:28,724 You know what? 57 00:02:28,726 --> 00:02:32,646 EVERYONE: You kind of look like a vampire. 58 00:02:32,648 --> 00:02:35,275 I am a vampire, duh! 59 00:02:37,403 --> 00:02:40,405 (DARK TECHNO MUSIC) 60 00:03:20,324 --> 00:03:22,115 (GASPS) 61 00:03:22,117 --> 00:03:23,116 SAM: Seriously, Simone? 62 00:03:23,118 --> 00:03:25,330 You are such an asshole! 63 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:27,704 SAM: Good luck finding a roommate 64 00:03:27,706 --> 00:03:29,582 with that crap on your face, you freak. 65 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,795 SIMONE: Whatever. 66 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,215 Speaking of roommates... 67 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,008 I don't want to talk about it. 68 00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:40,426 Besides, Bloodlust is coming on. 69 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,138 Holy shit, Simone, 70 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:45,641 when are you gonna grow out of this vampire bullshit? 71 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:49,062 Most people want to grow up and be, like, doctors 72 00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:50,688 or like, lawyers 73 00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:51,855 or like, a lesbian, but... 74 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:54,193 Why don't you shut the fuck up? 75 00:03:54,195 --> 00:03:56,361 I mean, why are you even here anyway? 76 00:03:56,363 --> 00:03:57,529 Shouldn't you be outside 77 00:03:57,531 --> 00:04:00,116 getting rejected by high school freshmen or something? 78 00:04:00,118 --> 00:04:01,867 Not on Tuesdays, Simone. 79 00:04:01,869 --> 00:04:05,746 Tuesdays are dedicated to spending time with my twin sis. 80 00:04:05,748 --> 00:04:07,501 Knock it off. 81 00:04:10,211 --> 00:04:11,547 What the fuck? 82 00:04:12,548 --> 00:04:15,006 Bloodlust is on hiatus, dumbass. 83 00:04:15,008 --> 00:04:16,924 So they play this shit? 84 00:04:16,926 --> 00:04:18,302 You wanted vampires. 85 00:04:18,304 --> 00:04:20,723 Please, you hate this crap as much as I do. 86 00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:25,061 (EERIE ROCK MUSIC) 87 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:43,162 Hi. 88 00:04:43,164 --> 00:04:43,996 You must be Simone. 89 00:04:43,998 --> 00:04:45,124 I'm Ashlee. 90 00:04:47,294 --> 00:04:48,876 Well, Ashlee with two E's, 91 00:04:48,878 --> 00:04:50,919 although my dad thought my mom was, like, a total freak 92 00:04:50,921 --> 00:04:51,921 when she named me that. 93 00:04:51,923 --> 00:04:52,756 They live in L.A. 94 00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,425 That's where I'm from. 95 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,800 Actually, I was born in Memphis. 96 00:04:55,802 --> 00:04:57,093 I was there last year for a tryout. 97 00:04:57,095 --> 00:04:57,927 - Hey! - Hey. 98 00:04:57,929 --> 00:05:00,305 I'm Sam, I'm Simone's brother. 99 00:05:00,307 --> 00:05:01,139 Come on in. 100 00:05:01,141 --> 00:05:02,017 ASHLEE: Thank you. 101 00:05:07,024 --> 00:05:08,817 Yeah, good luck with that, buddy. 102 00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:12,443 Yeah, just have a seat right here. 103 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,781 Make yourself comfortable. 104 00:05:18,912 --> 00:05:21,328 OMG, you guys look exactly alike. 105 00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:23,581 Yeah, we're like twins. 106 00:05:23,583 --> 00:05:24,790 Fraternal. 107 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,292 Aw, how cute. 108 00:05:26,294 --> 00:05:27,794 I once knew these twins back in L.A. 109 00:05:27,796 --> 00:05:29,127 but they were sisters, 110 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,546 Tammy and Terry. 111 00:05:30,548 --> 00:05:31,798 Well, they weren't twins. 112 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:32,966 Actually, they weren't even sisters, 113 00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:33,841 more like BFFs, 114 00:05:33,843 --> 00:05:35,635 until Tammy stole Terry's boyfriend 115 00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:37,387 and then they stopped talking. 116 00:05:37,389 --> 00:05:38,723 That was so sad. 117 00:05:41,811 --> 00:05:42,812 So, 118 00:05:43,854 --> 00:05:45,772 can I get you anything to drink? 119 00:05:45,774 --> 00:05:47,648 We actually just ran out. 120 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:48,816 Ran out of what? 121 00:05:48,818 --> 00:05:50,193 Everything. 122 00:05:50,195 --> 00:05:52,612 Can I get you some water? 123 00:05:52,614 --> 00:05:54,865 Tap water, no ice. 124 00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:56,658 No, thank you. 125 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,952 So this place is really nice. 126 00:05:58,954 --> 00:06:00,998 It's way nicer than the last place I went. 127 00:06:07,171 --> 00:06:09,339 And then I got stopped by this perv 128 00:06:09,341 --> 00:06:11,424 who tried to get me to do tentacle porn. 129 00:06:11,426 --> 00:06:12,258 Gross. 130 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:13,635 So what's with all of this? 131 00:06:13,637 --> 00:06:15,262 Huh? 132 00:06:15,264 --> 00:06:17,932 Oh, I just came from a tryout. 133 00:06:17,934 --> 00:06:20,684 Like, OMG, like, you're a cheerleader? 134 00:06:20,686 --> 00:06:21,685 Yes! 135 00:06:21,687 --> 00:06:23,146 Well, I'm working on that, not exactly yet. 136 00:06:23,148 --> 00:06:24,355 Do you, like, have a job? 137 00:06:24,357 --> 00:06:25,355 Well duh. 138 00:06:25,357 --> 00:06:27,444 How else am I gonna pay for an apartment? 139 00:06:29,321 --> 00:06:32,156 Did I just smell an attitude? 140 00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:33,197 Hey! 141 00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:35,534 Can I talk to you alone for a second? 142 00:06:35,536 --> 00:06:37,702 You just, you just wait right here, okay, don't move. 143 00:06:37,704 --> 00:06:41,375 Just, uh, practice your cheering. 144 00:06:43,044 --> 00:06:43,878 Britney! 145 00:06:44,796 --> 00:06:45,879 SAM: What is the matter with you? 146 00:06:45,881 --> 00:06:47,213 - Can't you say... - I don't want to hear it! 147 00:06:47,215 --> 00:06:48,297 - This is... - Shh! 148 00:06:48,299 --> 00:06:50,549 Shh yourself! 149 00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:52,052 Why do you have to be so rude? 150 00:06:52,054 --> 00:06:53,136 She's a guest. 151 00:06:53,138 --> 00:06:55,096 Like I care. 152 00:06:55,098 --> 00:06:56,098 Look at her. 153 00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:58,227 How do you expect me to... 154 00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:00,812 Hello? 155 00:07:02,105 --> 00:07:03,731 What? 156 00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:05,900 Do you honestly think you have a chance with her? 157 00:07:05,902 --> 00:07:07,902 No, you listen to me, 158 00:07:07,904 --> 00:07:09,862 I'm not gonna let you fuck this up for me, all right? 159 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:10,905 For you? 160 00:07:10,907 --> 00:07:11,739 This is about... 161 00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:12,907 Finding a roommate, yeah, 162 00:07:12,909 --> 00:07:14,575 okay, yeah, real successful. 163 00:07:14,577 --> 00:07:16,080 How many have you turned down? 164 00:07:17,999 --> 00:07:19,581 Well? 165 00:07:19,583 --> 00:07:20,583 32. 166 00:07:20,585 --> 00:07:21,918 32? 167 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,086 Are you smoking crack? 168 00:07:23,088 --> 00:07:25,338 How do you expect to make rent? 169 00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:26,172 Fine, but you're gonna be the one 170 00:07:26,174 --> 00:07:27,589 that's gonna show her around. 171 00:07:27,591 --> 00:07:28,425 Do I have to? 172 00:07:30,428 --> 00:07:31,262 Yes. 173 00:07:33,224 --> 00:07:35,599 Guess who gets to show you around? 174 00:07:35,601 --> 00:07:37,937 (POP MUSIC) 175 00:07:40,815 --> 00:07:43,734 (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) 176 00:07:51,867 --> 00:07:53,577 That was pretty cool, Marcus. 177 00:07:53,579 --> 00:07:55,454 Did you enjoy the pierogis? 178 00:07:55,456 --> 00:07:58,039 Oh yeah, they were really good. 179 00:07:58,041 --> 00:07:58,873 Yeah. 180 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:00,459 Mine was very delicious. 181 00:08:00,461 --> 00:08:02,254 On the inside was Saskatoon berries. 182 00:08:03,297 --> 00:08:06,468 Mm, just like Mom used to make. 183 00:08:10,138 --> 00:08:11,888 She's up there, Vin. 184 00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:13,267 Who, your mom? 185 00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:17,687 What the fuck? 186 00:08:17,689 --> 00:08:19,271 No, man, not my mom. 187 00:08:19,273 --> 00:08:20,605 The vampire. 188 00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:21,649 Oh. 189 00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:23,692 So did you bring the silver bullets? 190 00:08:23,694 --> 00:08:25,610 Silver bullets? 191 00:08:25,612 --> 00:08:28,156 Silver bullets only work on werewolves. 192 00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:29,197 Nah, man. 193 00:08:29,199 --> 00:08:31,328 If I shot you with a silver bullet, you'd die. 194 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:33,954 No. 195 00:08:33,956 --> 00:08:37,791 I, I mean, yeah, I would die, but she wouldn't. 196 00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:39,710 But you just said it only works on werewolves. 197 00:08:39,712 --> 00:08:40,795 That's just not true. 198 00:08:44,425 --> 00:08:45,884 Not today. 199 00:08:45,886 --> 00:08:47,509 VIN: Huh? 200 00:08:47,511 --> 00:08:49,137 Not today, Vin. 201 00:08:49,139 --> 00:08:50,220 Don't start with me, man. 202 00:08:50,222 --> 00:08:51,806 This is serious. 203 00:08:51,808 --> 00:08:52,893 I could get killed. 204 00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:56,478 These vampires, they're very crafty. 205 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,439 They leave traps all around their crypts. 206 00:08:59,441 --> 00:09:01,360 Even during the day they're dangerous. 207 00:09:04,321 --> 00:09:06,948 I bet her brother helps her like Renfield. 208 00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:09,828 I bet they didn't teach you shit like that back in Kenya. 209 00:09:14,123 --> 00:09:15,207 Let's get out of here. 210 00:09:15,209 --> 00:09:16,458 I gotta feed Mr. Fluffy. 211 00:09:16,460 --> 00:09:19,547 (RELAXED ROCK MUSIC) 212 00:09:30,518 --> 00:09:32,935 Didn't you just move in like two hours ago? 213 00:09:32,937 --> 00:09:34,186 Mm-hmm. 214 00:09:34,188 --> 00:09:35,521 Like it? 215 00:09:35,523 --> 00:09:36,814 Uh, 216 00:09:36,816 --> 00:09:37,730 sure. 217 00:09:37,732 --> 00:09:38,731 Come in. 218 00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:40,151 No, I, uh... 219 00:09:41,655 --> 00:09:42,986 All right, fine. 220 00:09:42,988 --> 00:09:44,699 Don't you just love Hello Kitty? 221 00:09:49,496 --> 00:09:51,328 Oh, (LAUGHS) fuck this. 222 00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:52,205 - No, wait! - Ow! 223 00:09:52,207 --> 00:09:53,499 ASHLEE: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. 224 00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:55,083 What's the matter with you? 225 00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:57,712 I just moved here and I don't have any friends 226 00:09:57,714 --> 00:09:58,712 and I was just... 227 00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:00,505 And you expect me to feel bad for you, right? 228 00:10:00,507 --> 00:10:01,966 No. 229 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,467 But ever since we met, I just knew we could be friends. 230 00:10:04,469 --> 00:10:05,302 (SIMONE LAUGHS) 231 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:08,390 Okay, (LAUGHS) I'm a vampire. 232 00:10:08,392 --> 00:10:10,766 You're into Twilight. 233 00:10:10,768 --> 00:10:12,435 Just give me a chance, please. 234 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,771 Look, I have dealt with your kind 235 00:10:14,773 --> 00:10:18,108 all throughout high school and beyond. 236 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:21,612 You're besties up until you get into a trendy clique 237 00:10:21,614 --> 00:10:24,489 that just absorbs you and you leave me behind. 238 00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:25,616 You know what? 239 00:10:25,618 --> 00:10:27,912 Why don't you just stay the hell away from me? 240 00:10:29,664 --> 00:10:30,498 Ugh! 241 00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:34,210 (BROODING MUSIC) 242 00:10:38,174 --> 00:10:41,343 (VIGOROUS ROCK MUSIC) 243 00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,156 (MEOWING) 244 00:11:03,158 --> 00:11:05,661 (PHONE RINGS) 245 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:11,415 (MEOWING) 246 00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:12,418 Yeah, Vin? 247 00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:16,045 Okay, I'll be out in a minute. 248 00:11:16,047 --> 00:11:17,382 (MEOWING) 249 00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:19,633 Shut the fuck up, Mr. Fluffy! 250 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:20,593 (MEOWING) 251 00:11:20,595 --> 00:11:23,932 (DETERMINED ROCK MUSIC) 252 00:11:58,219 --> 00:12:00,387 (TICKING) 253 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:11,274 (SPOOKY ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 254 00:12:38,721 --> 00:12:40,722 (GASPS) 255 00:12:41,808 --> 00:12:42,890 Great. 256 00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,603 Now I am a lesbian. 257 00:12:45,561 --> 00:12:47,354 You're such an asshole, Sam. 258 00:12:47,356 --> 00:12:49,941 (GLOOMY MUSIC) 259 00:12:59,951 --> 00:13:02,621 (SHADOWY MUSIC) 260 00:13:17,846 --> 00:13:20,639 MARCUS: I might not make it out alive, Vin. 261 00:13:20,641 --> 00:13:21,474 What? 262 00:13:21,476 --> 00:13:24,019 (SPOOKY MUSIC) 263 00:13:29,651 --> 00:13:31,527 I said I might not make it out alive. 264 00:13:31,529 --> 00:13:32,820 So? 265 00:13:32,822 --> 00:13:35,364 What am I supposed to do with this coupon? 266 00:13:35,366 --> 00:13:37,115 Would you knock it off? 267 00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,493 You have no idea what's going on here. 268 00:13:39,495 --> 00:13:42,080 All these people are in grave danger. 269 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,207 All right, man, I get it. 270 00:13:44,209 --> 00:13:45,750 But did you have to throw my coupons out? 271 00:13:45,752 --> 00:13:47,670 Obviously, you don't get it. 272 00:13:48,504 --> 00:13:51,005 I've been hunting these things for years. 273 00:13:51,007 --> 00:13:53,720 I never thought I'd actually find one, but here we are. 274 00:13:54,803 --> 00:13:56,094 I could finally prove to the world 275 00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,472 that I was right all along. 276 00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,851 It sounds pretty dangerous, Marcus. 277 00:14:01,853 --> 00:14:02,977 Maybe someone should go with you. 278 00:14:02,979 --> 00:14:05,816 (DANGEROUS MUSIC) 279 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,358 No, Vin. 280 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,361 This is too dangerous for you. 281 00:14:11,363 --> 00:14:12,487 What? 282 00:14:12,489 --> 00:14:14,156 I didn't mean me. 283 00:14:14,158 --> 00:14:16,907 And besides, why are you doing this at night? 284 00:14:16,909 --> 00:14:18,201 Isn't she awake? 285 00:14:18,203 --> 00:14:19,870 Yeah. 286 00:14:19,872 --> 00:14:22,041 This way she'll never see me coming. 287 00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:25,044 Now you look, Vin. 288 00:14:26,129 --> 00:14:27,836 If I don't make it out alive, 289 00:14:27,838 --> 00:14:30,423 you take Mr. Fluffy and you leave, okay? 290 00:14:30,425 --> 00:14:32,469 You go as far away from here as possible. 291 00:14:33,386 --> 00:14:36,304 Fine, but if you make it out alive, 292 00:14:36,306 --> 00:14:37,390 want to hit the mall? 293 00:14:38,224 --> 00:14:41,727 (IRRITATED MUSIC) 294 00:14:41,729 --> 00:14:42,645 Aw, come on. 295 00:14:42,647 --> 00:14:44,608 J.C. Penney's having a two-for-one sale. 296 00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:48,987 Pray for me, Vin. 297 00:15:01,417 --> 00:15:04,253 (MESSENGER DINGS) 298 00:15:19,603 --> 00:15:20,853 Hello? 299 00:15:20,855 --> 00:15:23,775 (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) 300 00:15:27,529 --> 00:15:28,654 Hello? 301 00:15:31,492 --> 00:15:32,323 Ashlee? 302 00:15:32,325 --> 00:15:34,953 (VEILED MUSIC) 303 00:15:48,301 --> 00:15:49,134 (SIMONE GASPS) 304 00:15:49,136 --> 00:15:52,472 (WRATHFUL TECHNO MUSIC) 305 00:16:02,441 --> 00:16:05,194 (SIMONE SCREAMS) 306 00:16:12,035 --> 00:16:13,785 MARCUS: Prepare to be freed from your sexy corpse shell, 307 00:16:13,787 --> 00:16:15,494 spawn of Beelzebub. 308 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:16,330 What? 309 00:16:19,794 --> 00:16:22,836 I said, prepare to be freed from your sexy corpse shell, 310 00:16:22,838 --> 00:16:24,504 spawn of Beelzebub. 311 00:16:24,506 --> 00:16:26,423 Oh my god, I'm not a vampire! 312 00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:27,425 I'm not a vampire! 313 00:16:27,427 --> 00:16:30,261 I swear to god, I'm not a vampire! 314 00:16:30,263 --> 00:16:31,598 Where are you? 315 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,520 (ASHLEE SCREAMS) 316 00:16:39,522 --> 00:16:42,360 (WILD ROCK MUSIC) 317 00:17:11,891 --> 00:17:14,852 (SQUISHY SLURPING) 318 00:17:17,189 --> 00:17:19,942 (HAUNTING MUSIC) 319 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,262 Oh hi, can we like be friends now? 320 00:17:47,264 --> 00:17:49,766 (SCARY MUSIC) 321 00:18:03,197 --> 00:18:05,740 (SIMONE SCREAMS) 322 00:18:05,742 --> 00:18:06,575 No, wait! 323 00:18:06,577 --> 00:18:07,411 No, no! 324 00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:11,246 Oh my god, I'm so sorry! 325 00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:12,581 Are you okay? 326 00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:13,875 I didn't mean to hurt you! 327 00:18:15,085 --> 00:18:16,879 Please, say something! 328 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:20,256 I'm really scared, Simone! 329 00:18:20,258 --> 00:18:22,049 I've never bit a person before! 330 00:18:22,051 --> 00:18:25,010 Well, except for my ex, but he kind of liked it! 331 00:18:25,012 --> 00:18:26,595 And then there was that one time in 3rd grade 332 00:18:26,597 --> 00:18:27,805 when I bit Charlie Parker, 333 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,808 but that was only because he said I had the cooties! 334 00:18:29,810 --> 00:18:31,977 Okay, okay, just stop it, please. 335 00:18:31,979 --> 00:18:35,355 Can you please wipe that shit off your face? 336 00:18:35,357 --> 00:18:36,315 ASHLEE: Oh. 337 00:18:36,317 --> 00:18:37,609 I'm a total mess. 338 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:44,951 What about him? 339 00:18:46,203 --> 00:18:47,827 Oh. 340 00:18:47,829 --> 00:18:48,994 He's not gonna turn. 341 00:18:48,996 --> 00:18:50,206 I have to give him my... 342 00:18:52,292 --> 00:18:54,001 Well, at least that's what happened 343 00:18:54,003 --> 00:18:56,087 when that jerk turned me. 344 00:18:56,089 --> 00:18:59,005 Ugh, I don't even want to think about that right now. 345 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,674 Uh-huh. 346 00:19:00,676 --> 00:19:03,344 So like, are we gonna be friends or not? 347 00:19:03,346 --> 00:19:06,223 I mean, we can't be roomies without being friends. 348 00:19:06,225 --> 00:19:07,390 Friends? 349 00:19:07,392 --> 00:19:10,351 You just ripped the face off of that 300-pound gorilla 350 00:19:10,353 --> 00:19:12,771 like a freak on bath salts! 351 00:19:12,773 --> 00:19:14,647 Hey, I didn't rip off his face. 352 00:19:14,649 --> 00:19:17,025 Besides, I thought you'd be into that kind of stuff. 353 00:19:17,027 --> 00:19:18,569 Are you kidding me? 354 00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:20,862 That guy just tried to impale me! 355 00:19:20,864 --> 00:19:23,949 That's what happens when you're a vampire, duh. 356 00:19:23,951 --> 00:19:26,702 Well I'm not a vampire, okay? 357 00:19:26,704 --> 00:19:30,791 As a matter of fact, I'm having a real identity crisis here. 358 00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:34,378 I mean, I thought that I was something special, 359 00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:38,172 like something set me apart from the rest of the sheeple, 360 00:19:38,174 --> 00:19:39,632 you know? 361 00:19:39,634 --> 00:19:44,430 All these years I've identified myself as a vampire. 362 00:19:44,432 --> 00:19:46,934 (EERIE MUSIC) 363 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,857 (MUFFLED SPEAKING) 364 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:15,424 Hello? 365 00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:19,219 Earth to Ashlee! 366 00:20:22,223 --> 00:20:24,766 OMG, this room is like a total mess. 367 00:20:24,768 --> 00:20:25,682 And who the hell is this guy? 368 00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:26,517 What the hell is he doing here? 369 00:20:26,519 --> 00:20:27,351 Oh my god, he's kind of cute. 370 00:20:27,353 --> 00:20:28,728 Did I just say that out loud? 371 00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:29,937 Are you okay? 372 00:20:29,939 --> 00:20:31,315 I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! 373 00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:35,234 My head is numb and my tongue is all swollen. 374 00:20:35,236 --> 00:20:37,445 What the hell is wrong with you? 375 00:20:37,447 --> 00:20:40,283 (PERPLEXED MUSIC) 376 00:20:48,459 --> 00:20:50,502 Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! 377 00:20:50,504 --> 00:20:52,628 That's why this is happening! 378 00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:53,923 Is that what I think it is? 379 00:20:53,925 --> 00:20:54,756 It's gotta be! 380 00:20:54,758 --> 00:20:55,590 It's in his blood! 381 00:20:55,592 --> 00:20:56,675 It's making my brain all 382 00:20:56,677 --> 00:20:59,514 (RAPID WHOOSHING) 383 00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:08,146 Okay, um, I think you need some chai. 384 00:21:08,148 --> 00:21:08,980 It'll soothe you. 385 00:21:08,982 --> 00:21:09,814 - I'll go get some. - No! 386 00:21:09,816 --> 00:21:11,983 I only drink blood, okay? 387 00:21:11,985 --> 00:21:14,362 Gross, I never thought I'd hear myself say that. 388 00:21:15,279 --> 00:21:16,114 Wait a minute. 389 00:21:17,449 --> 00:21:19,074 What about some pure blood? 390 00:21:19,076 --> 00:21:20,743 That'll clear you up, right? 391 00:21:20,745 --> 00:21:21,994 I guess. 392 00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:22,995 I don't know! 393 00:21:22,997 --> 00:21:24,791 This never happened to me before! 394 00:21:27,334 --> 00:21:29,294 How about that? 395 00:21:29,296 --> 00:21:30,506 That looks yummy, right? 396 00:21:31,465 --> 00:21:32,341 Yeah. 397 00:21:33,217 --> 00:21:35,426 I know you need that fix. 398 00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:36,467 I can tell. 399 00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:39,140 (STRANGE MUSIC) 400 00:22:06,462 --> 00:22:07,376 Ew! 401 00:22:07,378 --> 00:22:08,377 As if! 402 00:22:08,379 --> 00:22:10,380 Hey, there's nothing wrong with my blood! 403 00:22:10,382 --> 00:22:12,382 It's not like I have STDs! 404 00:22:12,384 --> 00:22:13,592 It's not that, okay? 405 00:22:13,594 --> 00:22:15,343 I'm not gonna bite you and that's final. 406 00:22:15,345 --> 00:22:16,510 Well why not? 407 00:22:16,512 --> 00:22:19,723 I'm supposed to be a vampire! 408 00:22:19,725 --> 00:22:21,600 I've been dreaming of a moment like this 409 00:22:21,602 --> 00:22:23,395 all of my life! 410 00:22:25,065 --> 00:22:27,981 Fine, since I was 14, okay? 411 00:22:27,983 --> 00:22:30,778 My grandma took me to go see Bram Stoker's Dracula 412 00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:31,779 at a matinee and... 413 00:22:31,781 --> 00:22:33,616 Wait, you were 14? 414 00:22:34,492 --> 00:22:35,824 What was she, a freak or something? 415 00:22:35,826 --> 00:22:37,909 Hey, don't make fun of her! 416 00:22:37,911 --> 00:22:40,119 Besides, she was Romanian. 417 00:22:40,121 --> 00:22:42,749 See, I'm supposed to be a vampire. 418 00:22:42,751 --> 00:22:43,957 Hold on a minute, Simone. 419 00:22:43,959 --> 00:22:48,253 You're just, you're just messing with my head right now. 420 00:22:48,255 --> 00:22:51,131 Okay, just a minute ago you were trying to run away from me. 421 00:22:51,133 --> 00:22:53,218 Well I'm over it, got it? 422 00:22:53,220 --> 00:22:55,513 And you better not tell anybody about that. 423 00:22:55,515 --> 00:22:57,680 Well I'm not gonna turn you, okay? 424 00:22:57,682 --> 00:22:58,515 Why not? 425 00:22:58,517 --> 00:23:00,350 You just don't understand. 426 00:23:00,352 --> 00:23:03,937 I mean, I don't even have a life anymore! 427 00:23:03,939 --> 00:23:06,190 Of course not, you're a member of the undead. 428 00:23:06,192 --> 00:23:07,192 No! 429 00:23:07,194 --> 00:23:09,276 They didn't say anything like this in Twilight! 430 00:23:09,278 --> 00:23:11,780 That's because Twilight is bullshit! 431 00:23:11,782 --> 00:23:15,199 (FOOTSTEPS WALKING) 432 00:23:15,201 --> 00:23:16,033 What? 433 00:23:16,035 --> 00:23:19,580 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 434 00:23:19,582 --> 00:23:22,041 (SIMONE GASPS) 435 00:23:22,043 --> 00:23:22,874 - Whoa! - Sam, 436 00:23:22,876 --> 00:23:24,584 what the hell are you doing here? 437 00:23:24,586 --> 00:23:26,463 I was at the party down the street. 438 00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:28,422 I'm so drunk. 439 00:23:28,424 --> 00:23:29,550 No no, you can't be here! 440 00:23:29,552 --> 00:23:31,301 You have to leave! 441 00:23:31,303 --> 00:23:33,139 Why is it so dark in here? 442 00:23:34,722 --> 00:23:36,267 It must be the breaker! 443 00:23:38,728 --> 00:23:39,979 See, I fixed it. 444 00:23:41,064 --> 00:23:42,772 Right on, yeah. 445 00:23:42,774 --> 00:23:43,981 How the hell? 446 00:23:43,983 --> 00:23:45,315 Hey. 447 00:23:45,317 --> 00:23:46,151 Hey, who's that? 448 00:23:46,153 --> 00:23:47,192 Uh, hi! 449 00:23:47,194 --> 00:23:48,527 - Hey. - Hi! 450 00:23:48,529 --> 00:23:50,697 - Hey. - Um, I like your hair. 451 00:23:50,699 --> 00:23:51,530 You do? 452 00:23:51,532 --> 00:23:52,991 Yeah, can I touch it? 453 00:23:52,993 --> 00:23:55,244 I thought you'd never ask. 454 00:23:55,246 --> 00:23:56,746 Whoa, what are you doing? 455 00:23:56,748 --> 00:23:58,998 Your hair, can I touch your hair? 456 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,500 Oh, yeah, my hair, yeah. 457 00:24:01,586 --> 00:24:04,755 (SAM LAUGHS) 458 00:24:04,757 --> 00:24:06,464 Ow ow ow ow ow! 459 00:24:06,466 --> 00:24:07,382 - Ashlee! - Ow ow ow ow! 460 00:24:07,384 --> 00:24:10,554 - Let go! - Ow ow ow ow! 461 00:24:13,056 --> 00:24:13,973 That was cool. 462 00:24:14,892 --> 00:24:16,432 Whoa, a dead guy! 463 00:24:16,434 --> 00:24:18,059 Did you do this? 464 00:24:18,061 --> 00:24:19,436 No, no. 465 00:24:19,438 --> 00:24:20,687 Yeah, you did. 466 00:24:20,689 --> 00:24:22,898 I can tell, you did this. 467 00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:27,235 No! 468 00:24:27,237 --> 00:24:29,490 Now look what you did. 469 00:24:29,492 --> 00:24:31,407 Is she a vampire? 470 00:24:31,409 --> 00:24:32,744 You think? 471 00:24:35,330 --> 00:24:37,372 That makes her like 20 times fucking hotter. 472 00:24:37,374 --> 00:24:39,332 Stop being a douche, Sam. 473 00:24:39,334 --> 00:24:41,336 Now I have to go and deal with her. 474 00:24:41,338 --> 00:24:42,669 What about him? 475 00:24:42,671 --> 00:24:43,879 What about him? 476 00:24:43,881 --> 00:24:45,964 Well, we can't just leave him here. 477 00:24:45,966 --> 00:24:47,884 No shit, Sherlock! 478 00:24:47,886 --> 00:24:49,927 I have to go upstairs and grab Ashlee, 479 00:24:49,929 --> 00:24:53,139 so she can help lug his gargantuan ass out of here. 480 00:24:53,141 --> 00:24:56,267 But she's only like three feet fucking tall. 481 00:24:56,269 --> 00:24:57,895 Yo, she's a vampire. 482 00:24:57,897 --> 00:25:00,563 She's the one who kicked his ass in the first place. 483 00:25:00,565 --> 00:25:02,399 Well, who is he? 484 00:25:02,401 --> 00:25:03,236 I don't know. 485 00:25:04,070 --> 00:25:06,990 (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) 486 00:25:09,743 --> 00:25:12,079 According to this, his name is Marcus Denning. 487 00:25:14,789 --> 00:25:16,164 This asshole tried to kill me. 488 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:16,998 He tried to kill you? 489 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:17,833 Did you call the cops? 490 00:25:17,835 --> 00:25:19,669 No, Sam, I can't call the cops. 491 00:25:19,671 --> 00:25:21,586 They'll just come and arrest Ashlee. 492 00:25:21,588 --> 00:25:24,174 (CREEPY MUSIC) 493 00:25:26,928 --> 00:25:28,468 Yeah, well this asshole's dead. 494 00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:30,932 (EERIE MUSIC) 495 00:25:40,609 --> 00:25:42,610 (KNOCKING ON THE DOOR) 496 00:25:42,612 --> 00:25:44,946 Just leave me alone! 497 00:25:44,948 --> 00:25:46,074 OMG, my voice. 498 00:25:47,451 --> 00:25:48,285 Ashlee? 499 00:25:49,286 --> 00:25:50,744 Sweetie? 500 00:25:50,746 --> 00:25:51,577 Would you let me in? 501 00:25:51,579 --> 00:25:52,997 ASHLEE: I'm not gonna bite you! 502 00:25:52,999 --> 00:25:53,831 Just leave me alone! 503 00:25:53,833 --> 00:25:55,290 Look, forget about all that, okay! 504 00:25:55,292 --> 00:25:57,668 We have a dead guy in the living room, 505 00:25:57,670 --> 00:25:59,461 and if we don't do something about it, 506 00:25:59,463 --> 00:26:01,799 we're gonna be in a heap of shit! 507 00:26:03,468 --> 00:26:06,263 (HAUNTING MUSIC) 508 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,568 ♪ Peanut butter ♪ 509 00:26:21,570 --> 00:26:23,780 ♪ And some jelly ♪ 510 00:26:23,782 --> 00:26:25,655 ♪ Put together ♪ 511 00:26:25,657 --> 00:26:28,408 ♪ In my belly ♪ 512 00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:31,414 What the fuck kind of bread is this? 513 00:26:35,418 --> 00:26:36,251 Oh. 514 00:26:36,253 --> 00:26:38,923 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 515 00:26:47,349 --> 00:26:49,059 Hey, over here! 516 00:26:50,893 --> 00:26:51,727 What? 517 00:26:53,272 --> 00:26:54,774 I'm so sorry. 518 00:26:56,066 --> 00:26:58,234 There, that better? 519 00:26:58,236 --> 00:26:59,859 It's 520 00:26:59,861 --> 00:27:00,696 fine. 521 00:27:03,365 --> 00:27:07,369 Look, I know you're having some issues right now, 522 00:27:07,371 --> 00:27:09,370 but you've gotta get a grip. 523 00:27:09,372 --> 00:27:12,998 We have a dead, coked-out vampire hunter 524 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,208 in the living room 525 00:27:14,210 --> 00:27:16,419 and we have to deal with it. 526 00:27:16,421 --> 00:27:18,214 I've never killed someone before! 527 00:27:18,216 --> 00:27:21,300 Ashlee, we don't have time to sit and brood. 528 00:27:21,302 --> 00:27:25,429 We've gotta get rid of that body or we will all get screwed! 529 00:27:25,431 --> 00:27:27,305 (LAUGHS) That rhymed. 530 00:27:27,307 --> 00:27:29,476 Ashlee, you have to focus! 531 00:27:29,478 --> 00:27:31,186 Please, focus! 532 00:27:31,188 --> 00:27:33,104 (LAUGHS) Okay! 533 00:27:33,106 --> 00:27:34,230 Okay. 534 00:27:34,232 --> 00:27:35,815 Are you sure? 535 00:27:35,817 --> 00:27:36,902 Yeah, okay. 536 00:27:38,362 --> 00:27:39,196 Okay. 537 00:27:42,576 --> 00:27:43,410 What?! 538 00:27:44,493 --> 00:27:45,576 I didn't say anything! 539 00:27:45,578 --> 00:27:46,577 Not you! 540 00:27:46,579 --> 00:27:49,581 Where the fuck is Sam, the body? 541 00:27:49,583 --> 00:27:51,749 ASHLEE AND SIMONE: Oh my god! 542 00:27:51,751 --> 00:27:56,256 ("AMERICAN HEBREW" BY DAVIS ABSOLUTE) 543 00:28:06,350 --> 00:28:08,100 MARCUS: So what's your name, kid? 544 00:28:08,102 --> 00:28:09,353 Uh, Sam. 545 00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:14,316 Well Sam, I'm Marcus. 546 00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:16,233 Glad to make your acquaintance. 547 00:28:16,235 --> 00:28:18,322 So you're not gonna kill me, right, man? 548 00:28:20,783 --> 00:28:23,453 (PHONE RINGING) 549 00:28:26,289 --> 00:28:27,747 Hello? 550 00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:29,957 What have you done with Sam? 551 00:28:29,959 --> 00:28:31,627 I swear to god, 552 00:28:31,629 --> 00:28:33,419 if you've hurt my brother, 553 00:28:33,421 --> 00:28:34,756 I will kill you. 554 00:28:36,007 --> 00:28:37,800 Are you finished, wannabe? 555 00:28:37,802 --> 00:28:39,136 Now shut up and listen! 556 00:28:40,639 --> 00:28:42,556 Sam's right here safe and sound, 557 00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:45,766 and if you want it to stay that way, 558 00:28:45,768 --> 00:28:48,270 you'll bring pompoms to the old Tesla factory 559 00:28:49,730 --> 00:28:51,897 in an hour and a half. 560 00:28:51,899 --> 00:28:53,525 Oh, and Vampirella, 561 00:28:53,527 --> 00:28:57,029 if I catch a whiff of bacon, your brother's dead. 562 00:28:57,031 --> 00:28:58,280 Do you hear me? 563 00:28:58,282 --> 00:28:59,324 Fucking dead! 564 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,370 What did he say? 565 00:29:03,621 --> 00:29:04,912 He has Sam. 566 00:29:04,914 --> 00:29:07,040 He said if we call the cops, he's gonna kill him! 567 00:29:07,042 --> 00:29:09,126 Oh my god, poor Sam. 568 00:29:09,128 --> 00:29:11,044 This is your damn fault! 569 00:29:11,046 --> 00:29:13,546 If you hadn't gone around biting all those dogs, 570 00:29:13,548 --> 00:29:16,299 he wouldn't be looking for goddamn vampires! 571 00:29:16,301 --> 00:29:17,759 Simone, how could you say that? 572 00:29:17,761 --> 00:29:19,719 What was I supposed to do? 573 00:29:19,721 --> 00:29:21,389 Go around hurting people? 574 00:29:21,391 --> 00:29:23,306 It's not like I even killed any of those dogs! 575 00:29:23,308 --> 00:29:25,016 That's not the point! 576 00:29:25,018 --> 00:29:27,519 You led him directly to me! 577 00:29:27,521 --> 00:29:29,355 Now he has Sam. 578 00:29:29,357 --> 00:29:31,359 Now I don't know what the hell to do! 579 00:29:33,153 --> 00:29:34,486 (PHONE RINGS) 580 00:29:34,488 --> 00:29:35,737 Is that your phone? 581 00:29:35,739 --> 00:29:38,325 (HIDDEN MUSIC) 582 00:29:44,374 --> 00:29:45,707 It's Vin. 583 00:29:45,709 --> 00:29:47,124 SIMONE: Who the hell is Vin? 584 00:29:47,126 --> 00:29:48,835 I don't know. 585 00:29:48,837 --> 00:29:50,210 Who are you? 586 00:29:50,212 --> 00:29:51,587 Where's Marcus, bitch? 587 00:29:51,589 --> 00:29:52,631 What the hell are you doing? 588 00:29:52,633 --> 00:29:54,884 Would you make up your mind, Simone? 589 00:29:54,886 --> 00:29:56,676 You idiot! 590 00:29:56,678 --> 00:29:58,136 Give me that. 591 00:29:58,138 --> 00:29:59,180 Oh my god. 592 00:29:59,182 --> 00:30:00,599 Now he knows my name! 593 00:30:01,642 --> 00:30:02,477 You idiot! 594 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:05,686 (ASHLEE CRIES) 595 00:30:05,688 --> 00:30:06,522 Stop it! 596 00:30:08,983 --> 00:30:10,150 Okay, okay, wait a minute. 597 00:30:10,152 --> 00:30:11,443 This guy doesn't know that 598 00:30:11,445 --> 00:30:14,112 that Marcus asshole isn't here, right? 599 00:30:14,114 --> 00:30:15,531 How am I supposed to know? 600 00:30:17,744 --> 00:30:19,202 Hello? 601 00:30:19,204 --> 00:30:20,661 GAMER KID: You suck! 602 00:30:20,663 --> 00:30:21,830 Shut up, idiot! 603 00:30:23,373 --> 00:30:24,456 What? 604 00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:25,290 Not you. 605 00:30:25,292 --> 00:30:26,959 Where's Marcus? 606 00:30:26,961 --> 00:30:28,753 Well your psycho friend is all coked up, 607 00:30:28,755 --> 00:30:30,589 passed out on my floor. 608 00:30:30,591 --> 00:30:32,131 GAMER KID: You're the best 609 00:30:32,133 --> 00:30:33,509 at dying. 610 00:30:33,511 --> 00:30:34,967 Shut the hell up. 611 00:30:34,969 --> 00:30:36,721 No, it's true, dammit! 612 00:30:37,931 --> 00:30:39,181 Not you. 613 00:30:39,183 --> 00:30:41,184 Well you better come pick up your friend 614 00:30:41,186 --> 00:30:43,269 or I'm gonna have you both arrested. 615 00:30:43,271 --> 00:30:44,646 GAMER KID: You should change your gamer tag 616 00:30:44,648 --> 00:30:45,480 to BulletMagnet. 617 00:30:45,482 --> 00:30:48,023 You should kiss my curry ass. 618 00:30:48,025 --> 00:30:49,192 What did you just say? 619 00:30:49,194 --> 00:30:52,404 Uh, aren't you the vampire chick? 620 00:30:52,406 --> 00:30:53,280 Yes. 621 00:30:53,282 --> 00:30:54,907 I mean, no. 622 00:30:54,909 --> 00:30:56,283 Wait. 623 00:30:56,285 --> 00:30:57,826 You know about all this? 624 00:30:57,828 --> 00:30:58,785 Well, sorta. 625 00:30:58,787 --> 00:31:00,579 What do you mean sorta? 626 00:31:00,581 --> 00:31:02,997 Well, I'm the one that dropped him over there. 627 00:31:02,999 --> 00:31:04,375 You what? 628 00:31:04,377 --> 00:31:07,169 That crazy bastard almost killed me. 629 00:31:07,171 --> 00:31:09,464 GAMER KID: Hey, have you ever played this game before? 630 00:31:09,466 --> 00:31:11,716 Because my little sister can beat your butt. 631 00:31:11,718 --> 00:31:12,758 Oh yeah? 632 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:13,717 Yes! 633 00:31:13,719 --> 00:31:15,639 Vin, this isn't a joke. 634 00:31:16,557 --> 00:31:18,056 GAMER KID: Hey, that's not fair! 635 00:31:18,058 --> 00:31:20,810 (LAUGHS) That's what you get for being a little bitch. 636 00:31:20,812 --> 00:31:21,643 SIMONE: What? 637 00:31:21,645 --> 00:31:22,728 Not you. 638 00:31:22,730 --> 00:31:25,439 Look, Vin, I don't know what your problem is, 639 00:31:25,441 --> 00:31:26,440 but your buddy over here 640 00:31:26,442 --> 00:31:29,193 tried to ram a goddamn stake through my chest. 641 00:31:29,195 --> 00:31:32,029 Whoa, he was serious about that? 642 00:31:32,031 --> 00:31:35,992 Yes, he was serious about that, and I'm serious too. 643 00:31:35,994 --> 00:31:38,327 If you don't come here within the next 20 minutes 644 00:31:38,329 --> 00:31:40,330 to pick up your, your friend, 645 00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:41,959 I'm gonna have you both arrested. 646 00:31:43,002 --> 00:31:46,171 (GUNS FIRING ON GAME) 647 00:31:46,173 --> 00:31:47,755 GAMER KID: Ha ha, you lose. 648 00:31:47,757 --> 00:31:49,132 Aw, come on. 649 00:31:49,134 --> 00:31:50,216 GAMER KID: You suck. 650 00:31:50,218 --> 00:31:51,884 Does your mom know you talk like that? 651 00:31:51,886 --> 00:31:54,555 GAMER KID: Does your mom know you pretend to be a man? 652 00:31:54,557 --> 00:31:56,851 So, listen, Doc, I gotta tell you, 653 00:31:57,726 --> 00:32:00,853 that specialist you see, he ain't gonna help you. 654 00:32:00,855 --> 00:32:02,190 I have a much better idea. 655 00:32:03,191 --> 00:32:04,607 Yeah yeah. 656 00:32:04,609 --> 00:32:06,276 Switch it to multi-player, will you? 657 00:32:06,278 --> 00:32:08,487 VIN: All right. 658 00:32:08,489 --> 00:32:11,322 Oh by the way, this was a great idea, 659 00:32:11,324 --> 00:32:13,868 spending $300 on a PlayStation 3. 660 00:32:15,329 --> 00:32:17,789 How the hell was I supposed to know 661 00:32:17,791 --> 00:32:22,210 that your entire clientele consists of 75-year-old widows? 662 00:32:22,212 --> 00:32:23,293 (VIN LAUGHS) 663 00:32:23,295 --> 00:32:24,129 Shut up, Vin. 664 00:32:25,130 --> 00:32:26,713 Oh, don't be so blue, doc. 665 00:32:26,715 --> 00:32:28,801 (LAUGHS) Blue, that's funny. 666 00:32:28,803 --> 00:32:30,301 (LAUGHS) Yeah! 667 00:32:30,303 --> 00:32:32,095 (LAUGHS) Ah. 668 00:32:32,097 --> 00:32:35,014 Seriously, you know, that animal's back. 669 00:32:35,016 --> 00:32:37,350 Bit a few dogs over in Surly Park last night. 670 00:32:37,352 --> 00:32:39,061 I heard it was some meth head. 671 00:32:39,063 --> 00:32:41,939 No no no, I treated those dogs myself. 672 00:32:41,941 --> 00:32:44,234 They're way different from last year's attack. 673 00:32:44,236 --> 00:32:46,485 And it definitely wasn't human bite marks, for sure. 674 00:32:46,487 --> 00:32:47,320 TODD: Oh really? 675 00:32:47,322 --> 00:32:49,531 Well, I'm done. 676 00:32:49,533 --> 00:32:51,698 Yeah, (LAUGHS) that's because I'm just kicking your ass. 677 00:32:51,700 --> 00:32:54,078 No, I have to pick Marcus up at his girl's place. 678 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,745 Wait, that freak has a girlfriend? 679 00:32:55,747 --> 00:32:56,580 (LAUGHS) Yeah, 680 00:32:56,582 --> 00:32:58,207 into some freaky vampire shit. 681 00:32:58,209 --> 00:32:59,416 Oh really? 682 00:32:59,418 --> 00:33:00,503 VIN: Yeah. 683 00:33:01,379 --> 00:33:03,169 Hey, uh, door's that way, man. 684 00:33:03,171 --> 00:33:04,965 Can a guy go take a piss? 685 00:33:04,967 --> 00:33:06,466 You know what, man? 686 00:33:06,468 --> 00:33:08,259 This fucking sucks. 687 00:33:08,261 --> 00:33:09,177 What are you talking about? 688 00:33:09,179 --> 00:33:10,719 This is the most action you got all week. 689 00:33:10,721 --> 00:33:14,099 Yeah, that may be, but I gotta cut out of here. 690 00:33:14,101 --> 00:33:15,391 Where are you going? 691 00:33:15,393 --> 00:33:16,227 TODD: Well, I thought you wanted me 692 00:33:16,229 --> 00:33:17,603 to do your website for you. 693 00:33:17,605 --> 00:33:19,814 Oh yeah, what's the name of that? 694 00:33:19,816 --> 00:33:21,274 FilthyFurries.com. 695 00:33:21,276 --> 00:33:24,610 Soon as I get home, I'm gonna email you all the info. 696 00:33:24,612 --> 00:33:26,112 All right, get out of here, man. 697 00:33:26,114 --> 00:33:27,572 TODD: (laughs) All right, man, see you tomorrow. 698 00:33:27,574 --> 00:33:30,161 (SPOOKY MUSIC) 699 00:33:40,588 --> 00:33:41,753 MARCUS: How does that feel? 700 00:33:41,755 --> 00:33:42,963 You okay, yeah? 701 00:33:42,965 --> 00:33:46,425 (SAM CRIES OUT) 702 00:33:46,427 --> 00:33:49,345 What the hell did you do that for, asshole? 703 00:33:49,347 --> 00:33:50,971 Because you're my prisoner. 704 00:33:50,973 --> 00:33:52,225 I gotta keep you in line. 705 00:33:54,060 --> 00:33:55,269 I'm all tied up. 706 00:33:55,271 --> 00:33:56,646 I can't do shit to you. 707 00:33:57,814 --> 00:34:00,150 Besides, I thought you were like the good guy. 708 00:34:01,485 --> 00:34:03,027 Look at me. 709 00:34:03,029 --> 00:34:04,654 I am a good guy. 710 00:34:04,656 --> 00:34:06,490 Yeah, well good guys don't go around 711 00:34:06,492 --> 00:34:10,326 smacking the shit out of their prisoners, man. 712 00:34:10,328 --> 00:34:11,953 Fine, fine. 713 00:34:11,955 --> 00:34:13,121 No, it's not fine! 714 00:34:13,123 --> 00:34:14,792 That shit hurt like hell! 715 00:34:16,878 --> 00:34:18,171 Quit your whining, kid. 716 00:34:19,171 --> 00:34:21,632 Yeah, well, like the least you could do is like 717 00:34:22,716 --> 00:34:24,258 apologize or something. 718 00:34:24,260 --> 00:34:25,093 For what? 719 00:34:26,095 --> 00:34:28,721 You almost knocked my head off! 720 00:34:28,723 --> 00:34:32,935 The least you could do is apologize! 721 00:34:32,937 --> 00:34:35,686 I am not apologizing for anything, buddy. 722 00:34:35,688 --> 00:34:38,609 Well see, you are a bad guy. 723 00:34:40,027 --> 00:34:40,862 Look. 724 00:34:41,822 --> 00:34:43,365 I am not the bad guy. 725 00:34:44,449 --> 00:34:49,412 Your little hot cheerleader girlfriend, she's the bad guy. 726 00:34:49,704 --> 00:34:51,957 You tried to kill my sister! 727 00:34:53,042 --> 00:34:56,460 Besides, Ashlee ain't like that, man. 728 00:34:56,462 --> 00:34:59,379 She's the sweetest, 729 00:34:59,381 --> 00:35:00,297 most innocent... 730 00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:03,719 Psycho vampire bitch! 731 00:35:06,222 --> 00:35:08,180 No, she's not, man. 732 00:35:08,182 --> 00:35:13,146 She's the most incredible girl in the whole world. 733 00:35:13,563 --> 00:35:16,607 You don't know what the hell you're talking about, kid. 734 00:35:16,609 --> 00:35:18,528 Those things like your girlfriend, 735 00:35:19,571 --> 00:35:23,741 they're bloodthirsty Satan spawn freaks! 736 00:35:24,783 --> 00:35:26,701 And they'll stop at nothing 737 00:35:26,703 --> 00:35:28,831 short of the destruction of humanity! 738 00:35:31,833 --> 00:35:34,085 Just when we're on the brink of extinction. 739 00:35:36,588 --> 00:35:37,422 Then what? 740 00:35:39,925 --> 00:35:40,844 What happens after? 741 00:35:41,928 --> 00:35:43,470 Oh man. 742 00:35:43,472 --> 00:35:44,303 Hello? 743 00:35:44,305 --> 00:35:45,180 Anyone home, man? 744 00:35:45,182 --> 00:35:47,934 (DEMENTED MUSIC) 745 00:35:50,102 --> 00:35:52,396 Then what? 746 00:35:52,398 --> 00:35:55,067 That's when they herd the rest of us like cattle 747 00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:57,778 and breed us on blood farms. 748 00:35:59,029 --> 00:36:02,197 Yeah, blood farms. 749 00:36:02,199 --> 00:36:03,033 It's coming. 750 00:36:03,909 --> 00:36:05,369 Oh yeah, it's coming. 751 00:36:06,622 --> 00:36:11,627 Unless you and I and the rest of us open our eyes. 752 00:36:14,879 --> 00:36:15,963 Can't you see? 753 00:36:16,799 --> 00:36:18,967 You're out of your fucking mind, man. 754 00:36:20,469 --> 00:36:23,094 I'm telling you, Ashlee is not like that, 755 00:36:23,096 --> 00:36:24,639 at all. 756 00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:25,806 No, not Ashlee. 757 00:36:25,808 --> 00:36:27,724 You don't know what you're saying, kid. 758 00:36:27,726 --> 00:36:29,977 I think hanging out with that crazy sister of yours 759 00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:32,233 got your brain all soft. 760 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:34,191 Just listen to me. 761 00:36:34,193 --> 00:36:37,528 Just untie me and just let me go, man! 762 00:36:37,530 --> 00:36:40,489 And I won't tell anyone about this. 763 00:36:40,491 --> 00:36:41,449 Like, you got my word. 764 00:36:41,451 --> 00:36:44,913 Just forget about killing Ashlee. 765 00:36:46,373 --> 00:36:49,334 (UNFRIENDLY MUSIC) 766 00:37:01,639 --> 00:37:02,682 Forget what? 767 00:37:04,852 --> 00:37:06,353 Forget about this? 768 00:37:07,270 --> 00:37:08,980 Did you see what she did to me? 769 00:37:11,524 --> 00:37:12,982 Yeah. 770 00:37:12,984 --> 00:37:13,901 I don't think so. 771 00:37:16,197 --> 00:37:17,030 You know what? 772 00:37:19,367 --> 00:37:21,534 I don't have to have this conversation with you. 773 00:37:21,536 --> 00:37:24,204 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 774 00:37:34,383 --> 00:37:35,381 Ew, man, ew. 775 00:37:35,383 --> 00:37:36,424 What? 776 00:37:36,426 --> 00:37:37,428 I just got the tape. 777 00:37:38,595 --> 00:37:40,387 It's got your drool all over it, man. 778 00:37:40,389 --> 00:37:42,058 How else am I supposed to? 779 00:37:47,898 --> 00:37:50,567 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 780 00:38:01,912 --> 00:38:03,414 Quit squirming. 781 00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:06,208 There. 782 00:38:06,210 --> 00:38:07,127 Are you happy now? 783 00:38:08,504 --> 00:38:10,212 Yeah, you good, yeah? 784 00:38:10,214 --> 00:38:11,212 - Mm. - Okay, good. 785 00:38:11,214 --> 00:38:12,130 Mm-hmm. 786 00:38:12,132 --> 00:38:12,966 Mm-hmm. 787 00:38:14,759 --> 00:38:17,262 (SCARY MUSIC) 788 00:38:25,313 --> 00:38:26,604 Aw, come on! 789 00:38:26,606 --> 00:38:27,942 Those are brand new tires. 790 00:38:29,275 --> 00:38:30,775 ASHLEE: Well, what if he's dangerous? 791 00:38:30,777 --> 00:38:33,110 Ashlee, you took down a 6'5" 792 00:38:33,112 --> 00:38:35,616 heavily armed, coked-up psychopath. 793 00:38:36,741 --> 00:38:40,077 Look, I don't think that banger boy here 794 00:38:40,079 --> 00:38:41,497 is gonna put much of a fight. 795 00:38:42,749 --> 00:38:46,670 ("THOUGHT" BY YANNICK IRELAND) 796 00:38:47,796 --> 00:38:49,253 SAL: Is this the place? 797 00:38:49,255 --> 00:38:50,088 Yep. 798 00:38:50,090 --> 00:38:51,463 All right, just hurry up then. 799 00:38:51,465 --> 00:38:53,009 I'll be back in a minute. 800 00:38:56,513 --> 00:38:59,142 (CREEPY MUSIC) 801 00:39:02,102 --> 00:39:03,518 (KNOCKING ON THE DOOR) 802 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:04,729 You ready? 803 00:39:04,731 --> 00:39:06,063 Uh, 804 00:39:06,065 --> 00:39:07,273 yeah? 805 00:39:07,275 --> 00:39:10,110 Remember, wait until he comes in first 806 00:39:10,112 --> 00:39:12,278 and then cover him with that thing. 807 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:13,320 You got it? 808 00:39:13,322 --> 00:39:14,363 Okay. 809 00:39:14,365 --> 00:39:15,197 Okay. 810 00:39:15,199 --> 00:39:17,285 And don't bite him. 811 00:39:17,287 --> 00:39:20,290 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 812 00:39:22,124 --> 00:39:23,915 (KNOCKING ON THE DOOR) 813 00:39:23,917 --> 00:39:25,125 Where's Marcus? 814 00:39:25,127 --> 00:39:26,459 He's inside, come in. 815 00:39:26,461 --> 00:39:27,294 I'm in a hurry. 816 00:39:27,296 --> 00:39:28,713 Just tell him I'm waiting for him. 817 00:39:28,715 --> 00:39:30,840 No, come inside and get him yourself. 818 00:39:30,842 --> 00:39:32,009 VIN: Just go get him. 819 00:39:32,011 --> 00:39:35,012 No, come inside and get him yourself! 820 00:39:35,014 --> 00:39:36,054 I told you I'm in a hurry. 821 00:39:36,056 --> 00:39:37,347 Just go get him. 822 00:39:37,349 --> 00:39:39,141 If you don't come inside, I'm gonna call the fucking cops. 823 00:39:39,143 --> 00:39:41,185 Go ahead, call the cops, I don't care. 824 00:39:41,187 --> 00:39:42,352 Do you want to get arrested? 825 00:39:42,354 --> 00:39:43,354 For what? 826 00:39:43,356 --> 00:39:45,106 Do you want your buddy here to get arrested? 827 00:39:45,108 --> 00:39:45,939 Fine. 828 00:39:45,941 --> 00:39:46,775 Come on! 829 00:39:51,198 --> 00:39:52,447 Okay, so you argue with me this whole time 830 00:39:52,449 --> 00:39:53,741 so I could stand here? 831 00:39:53,743 --> 00:39:56,201 Um, I'm sorry, my roomie's getting dressed. 832 00:39:56,203 --> 00:39:57,369 Oh yeah, is she hot? 833 00:39:57,371 --> 00:39:59,538 (LAUGHS) You're so funny! 834 00:39:59,540 --> 00:40:00,371 I know. 835 00:40:00,373 --> 00:40:01,748 Where's Marcus? 836 00:40:01,750 --> 00:40:03,333 Oh, um, you know, 837 00:40:03,335 --> 00:40:06,629 I never realized how good-looking you were! 838 00:40:06,631 --> 00:40:07,756 Most people don't. 839 00:40:07,758 --> 00:40:09,885 (LAUGHS) Well I sure did. 840 00:40:13,055 --> 00:40:14,178 VIN: Did you just feel something? 841 00:40:14,180 --> 00:40:15,722 Woo! (LAUGHS) 842 00:40:15,724 --> 00:40:18,183 Must be the energy between us. 843 00:40:18,185 --> 00:40:19,726 I don't have time for this. 844 00:40:19,728 --> 00:40:21,270 Where's Marcus? 845 00:40:21,272 --> 00:40:22,103 Um, 846 00:40:22,105 --> 00:40:24,397 oh come on now, 847 00:40:24,399 --> 00:40:26,067 don't you want to spend time with me? 848 00:40:26,069 --> 00:40:27,570 I'll make it worth your while. 849 00:40:29,824 --> 00:40:30,655 Fine. 850 00:40:30,657 --> 00:40:31,825 Do you have any condoms? 851 00:40:32,992 --> 00:40:34,660 Um, yeah. 852 00:40:34,662 --> 00:40:35,496 Um, 853 00:40:36,704 --> 00:40:37,787 let me go get them. 854 00:40:37,789 --> 00:40:39,414 I'll be right back. 855 00:40:39,416 --> 00:40:41,250 VIN: Hurry up, gotta make this quick. 856 00:40:41,252 --> 00:40:44,171 (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) 857 00:40:51,388 --> 00:40:53,849 (OWL HOOTING) 858 00:40:58,103 --> 00:41:00,271 What is the matter with you? 859 00:41:00,273 --> 00:41:01,354 I couldn't do it! 860 00:41:01,356 --> 00:41:02,188 I just couldn't do it! 861 00:41:02,190 --> 00:41:03,024 Ashlee! 862 00:41:04,026 --> 00:41:05,109 I got scared! 863 00:41:05,111 --> 00:41:06,777 But you kicked that other guy's ass. 864 00:41:06,779 --> 00:41:07,654 That was different. 865 00:41:07,656 --> 00:41:09,239 He was trying to kill you! 866 00:41:09,241 --> 00:41:10,698 If you don't get this guy, 867 00:41:10,700 --> 00:41:13,368 that psychopath is gonna kill Sam! 868 00:41:13,370 --> 00:41:15,578 VIN: Hey, you get lost in there? 869 00:41:15,580 --> 00:41:18,585 Um, no, (LAUGHS) I'll be out in a sec. 870 00:41:19,543 --> 00:41:21,085 Get over there! 871 00:41:21,087 --> 00:41:22,463 - Fine. - Come on! 872 00:41:24,632 --> 00:41:26,465 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 873 00:41:26,467 --> 00:41:28,551 VIN: Whoa, you too? 874 00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:29,720 Ah, what are you doing? 875 00:41:29,722 --> 00:41:32,390 (SHADOWY MUSIC) 876 00:41:38,731 --> 00:41:39,980 (KNOCKING ON THE DOOR) 877 00:41:39,982 --> 00:41:40,816 Shh! 878 00:41:43,819 --> 00:41:44,652 (KNOCKING ON THE DOOR) 879 00:41:44,654 --> 00:41:46,654 SAL: Hey, Vin, you in there? 880 00:41:46,656 --> 00:41:48,907 Did you bring somebody with you? 881 00:41:48,909 --> 00:41:50,368 VIN: My cousin-in-law Sal. 882 00:41:51,661 --> 00:41:53,787 Quick, go get another pillowcase. 883 00:41:53,789 --> 00:41:56,709 (FOREBODING MUSIC) 884 00:42:06,803 --> 00:42:11,808 So, Frankenstein grabs this mad scientist chick 885 00:42:13,185 --> 00:42:15,727 and throws her skinny ass out the window. 886 00:42:15,729 --> 00:42:16,771 No way, man. 887 00:42:16,773 --> 00:42:18,523 And then what? 888 00:42:18,525 --> 00:42:20,691 Okay, I love this part. 889 00:42:20,693 --> 00:42:22,693 This is classic Costello. 890 00:42:22,695 --> 00:42:24,861 He's tied to this operating table, 891 00:42:24,863 --> 00:42:27,741 and electrodes are blasting arcs of light everywhere, 892 00:42:27,743 --> 00:42:29,158 and he turns to Abbott, 893 00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:32,286 and he says, "So, do you believe me now?" 894 00:42:32,288 --> 00:42:33,871 (LAUGHS) 895 00:42:33,873 --> 00:42:36,625 Bro, it's the best, 896 00:42:36,627 --> 00:42:38,125 because the whole movie, 897 00:42:38,127 --> 00:42:40,921 Abbott thinks Costello's full of shit, you know. 898 00:42:40,923 --> 00:42:42,381 And then all of a sudden there he is 899 00:42:42,383 --> 00:42:44,717 staring at this seven-foot-tall monster, 900 00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:46,093 and he realizes 901 00:42:46,095 --> 00:42:48,512 he was telling the truth the whole time, man. 902 00:42:48,514 --> 00:42:50,472 (LAUGHS) Too funny. 903 00:42:50,474 --> 00:42:53,227 Well I guess you don't realize the truth about someone 904 00:42:53,229 --> 00:42:55,562 until it's staring you in the face, huh? 905 00:42:55,564 --> 00:42:57,983 Wow, that's deep. 906 00:42:59,734 --> 00:43:03,989 So anyway, the rest of the movie has the monsters 907 00:43:03,991 --> 00:43:07,700 chasing the two across this castle back and forth, 908 00:43:07,702 --> 00:43:10,161 like one of those old Scooby-Doo cartoons, 909 00:43:10,163 --> 00:43:12,664 which I'm sure you've seen like a million times. 910 00:43:12,666 --> 00:43:14,916 Shaggy's changed my life, man. 911 00:43:14,918 --> 00:43:17,794 (LAUGHS) Yeah, I bet. 912 00:43:17,796 --> 00:43:22,801 So finally, the movie ends with Dracula and Wolfman 913 00:43:23,343 --> 00:43:25,886 falling to their deaths from the castle tower, 914 00:43:25,888 --> 00:43:28,389 and Frankie burns to death. 915 00:43:28,391 --> 00:43:29,435 Come to think of it, 916 00:43:30,728 --> 00:43:34,061 how did Drac and Wolfy bite it from their fall? 917 00:43:34,063 --> 00:43:36,440 It doesn't make any sense. 918 00:43:36,442 --> 00:43:37,356 Yeah, man, but you said 919 00:43:37,358 --> 00:43:39,275 they fell off the side of the castle. 920 00:43:39,277 --> 00:43:40,280 Yeah, but bro, 921 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,448 the only way to kill Dracula 922 00:43:43,450 --> 00:43:46,408 is by sunlight or a stake through the heart. 923 00:43:46,410 --> 00:43:48,243 And everybody knows you need silver bullets 924 00:43:48,245 --> 00:43:49,455 to kill a werewolf. 925 00:43:50,664 --> 00:43:52,625 So neither one of them would've been killed 926 00:43:52,627 --> 00:43:54,003 from their falls. 927 00:43:54,962 --> 00:43:57,045 It doesn't make any freaking sense. 928 00:43:57,047 --> 00:43:59,965 Yeah, but it's Abbott and Costello, right? 929 00:43:59,967 --> 00:44:03,803 It's supposed to be like ha ha funny, you know. 930 00:44:03,805 --> 00:44:06,975 Like, maybe it's a whole part of the big joke. 931 00:44:09,894 --> 00:44:12,229 Yeah, I guess. 932 00:44:12,231 --> 00:44:13,896 Maybe you're right, kid. 933 00:44:13,898 --> 00:44:15,984 Maybe that's the biggest joke of them all. 934 00:44:18,904 --> 00:44:20,362 You know what? 935 00:44:20,364 --> 00:44:21,573 You're all right, Sam. 936 00:44:22,991 --> 00:44:24,826 I'm sorry I slapped you earlier. 937 00:44:25,953 --> 00:44:27,495 No hard feelings, right? 938 00:44:27,497 --> 00:44:28,874 No hard feelings, man. 939 00:44:31,334 --> 00:44:33,003 So I guess you can untie me now. 940 00:44:34,671 --> 00:44:37,090 Yeah, I don't think so, buddy. 941 00:44:41,346 --> 00:44:43,136 SAL: Is this some kind of sex thing? 942 00:44:43,138 --> 00:44:44,013 What? 943 00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:45,681 SAL: Did Marcus put you up to this? 944 00:44:45,683 --> 00:44:48,560 Your friend kidnapped my brother, you asshole. 945 00:44:48,562 --> 00:44:49,685 SAL: Oh. 946 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,688 And now we're gonna swap him out for you two guys. 947 00:44:51,690 --> 00:44:53,398 Isn't that exciting? 948 00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:54,275 SAL: Oh god! 949 00:44:54,277 --> 00:44:56,651 Why didn't you tell me about this, Vin? 950 00:44:56,653 --> 00:44:58,153 VIN: Mm-mm-mm, I thought he was here. 951 00:44:58,155 --> 00:44:59,073 Nope, he's not. 952 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:02,907 SAL: Oh god, I had nothing to do with this! 953 00:45:02,909 --> 00:45:04,368 Please don't kill me! 954 00:45:04,370 --> 00:45:05,412 We're not gonna kill you. 955 00:45:05,414 --> 00:45:06,872 Just relax. 956 00:45:06,874 --> 00:45:08,747 SAL: I should've stayed in the damn clinic. 957 00:45:08,749 --> 00:45:10,542 What are you, some kind of a doctor? 958 00:45:10,544 --> 00:45:11,792 SAL: Yeah, I'm a vet! 959 00:45:11,794 --> 00:45:13,587 I never hurt anyone in my damn life. 960 00:45:13,589 --> 00:45:16,632 If you're a vet, that means you shot at people, 961 00:45:16,634 --> 00:45:17,884 which means you hurt people, 962 00:45:17,886 --> 00:45:19,844 and that makes you a liar. 963 00:45:19,846 --> 00:45:20,677 SAL: What? 964 00:45:20,679 --> 00:45:22,387 No, I'm a veterinarian. 965 00:45:22,389 --> 00:45:23,222 Oh! 966 00:45:23,224 --> 00:45:24,764 My ex-boyfriend was vegan. 967 00:45:24,766 --> 00:45:26,309 He used to eat a lot of beans, 968 00:45:26,311 --> 00:45:27,143 which gave him gas. 969 00:45:27,145 --> 00:45:28,562 It was really gross. 970 00:45:28,564 --> 00:45:30,229 SAL: No, that's a vegetarian. 971 00:45:30,231 --> 00:45:31,647 I'm a veterinarian, 972 00:45:31,649 --> 00:45:33,691 you know, like animal doctor. 973 00:45:33,693 --> 00:45:34,901 Oh. 974 00:45:34,903 --> 00:45:36,486 Do you have puppies? 975 00:45:36,488 --> 00:45:37,988 SAL: Yeah, we have puppies. 976 00:45:37,990 --> 00:45:41,116 Ah, I love puppies. 977 00:45:41,118 --> 00:45:41,952 Mm. 978 00:45:45,956 --> 00:45:47,123 Oh god! 979 00:45:47,125 --> 00:45:48,043 Oh my god! 980 00:45:49,252 --> 00:45:50,754 SIMONE: Seriously? 981 00:45:51,923 --> 00:45:53,588 Aw, don't be so blue. 982 00:45:53,590 --> 00:45:55,633 Yeah, dude, what's up with your face? 983 00:45:55,635 --> 00:45:58,718 It's called Argyria, Wednesday Addams. 984 00:45:58,720 --> 00:46:00,012 Well that shit better not be contagious, 985 00:46:00,014 --> 00:46:03,265 because I can't go around looking like a damn Smurf! 986 00:46:03,267 --> 00:46:06,393 Aw, I think Smurfette is beautiful. 987 00:46:06,395 --> 00:46:10,105 Ha ha, that's because you're an idiot. 988 00:46:10,107 --> 00:46:10,940 Hey! 989 00:46:10,942 --> 00:46:13,235 It's not contagious, okay. 990 00:46:13,237 --> 00:46:14,444 Fine. 991 00:46:14,446 --> 00:46:17,365 Look, you two, we don't want to start any trouble here. 992 00:46:17,367 --> 00:46:18,365 I want my brother back 993 00:46:18,367 --> 00:46:20,450 just as much as you two want to be free, 994 00:46:20,452 --> 00:46:22,577 so let's get this over with quickly, okay? 995 00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:25,458 (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) 996 00:46:29,629 --> 00:46:30,879 Where are we going? 997 00:46:30,881 --> 00:46:32,339 We're going to the old Tesla factory. 998 00:46:32,341 --> 00:46:33,632 We're gonna swap you guys out with Sam, 999 00:46:33,634 --> 00:46:35,007 then you're free to go. 1000 00:46:35,009 --> 00:46:37,638 (SPOOKY MUSIC) 1001 00:46:40,809 --> 00:46:41,810 MAN: Hmm. 1002 00:46:46,438 --> 00:46:50,109 ("JULY" BY REXX FINAL BEAT) 1003 00:46:53,990 --> 00:46:55,321 Can we hurry up with this? 1004 00:46:55,323 --> 00:46:56,991 I have to get to work early tomorrow. 1005 00:46:56,993 --> 00:46:59,996 You can drop dead, pony boy. 1006 00:47:01,455 --> 00:47:03,122 How about you, Dr. Doolittle? 1007 00:47:03,124 --> 00:47:04,999 Do you have something to say? 1008 00:47:05,001 --> 00:47:06,501 Hey, don't talk to him like that. 1009 00:47:06,503 --> 00:47:07,501 He's my cousin-in-law. 1010 00:47:07,503 --> 00:47:09,920 I don't give a shit if he's your cousin-in-law. 1011 00:47:09,922 --> 00:47:12,298 He could be your father for all I care. 1012 00:47:12,300 --> 00:47:13,215 Don't talk about my father. 1013 00:47:13,217 --> 00:47:15,217 I didn't talk about your damn father! 1014 00:47:15,219 --> 00:47:16,386 You just did. 1015 00:47:16,388 --> 00:47:17,555 No, I didn't. 1016 00:47:17,557 --> 00:47:18,848 - Yes, you did. - No, I didn't. 1017 00:47:18,850 --> 00:47:19,932 - Yes, you did. - I... 1018 00:47:19,934 --> 00:47:21,433 He's right, Simone, you did. 1019 00:47:21,435 --> 00:47:23,602 You said, "Your damn father," 1020 00:47:23,604 --> 00:47:25,062 and that's just rude! 1021 00:47:25,064 --> 00:47:28,608 Would you just shut the hell up? 1022 00:47:28,610 --> 00:47:30,943 Whose side are you on anyway? 1023 00:47:30,945 --> 00:47:32,862 Keep your eyes on the road. 1024 00:47:32,864 --> 00:47:33,739 Your side. 1025 00:47:33,741 --> 00:47:37,411 ("JULY" BY REXX FINAL BEAT) 1026 00:47:38,746 --> 00:47:42,414 (MOVES INTO UNCERTAIN MUSIC) 1027 00:47:42,416 --> 00:47:44,084 Are they here yet? 1028 00:47:45,544 --> 00:47:46,919 No. 1029 00:47:46,921 --> 00:47:49,756 What happens if they're not here on time? 1030 00:47:49,758 --> 00:47:51,009 Are you gonna kill me? 1031 00:47:52,386 --> 00:47:53,384 Oh come on, man! 1032 00:47:53,386 --> 00:47:55,513 I never did anything to you! 1033 00:47:55,515 --> 00:47:56,804 Relax. 1034 00:47:56,806 --> 00:47:58,723 They'll be here. 1035 00:47:58,725 --> 00:48:02,353 If your sister's smart, she'll be here in five. 1036 00:48:02,355 --> 00:48:03,562 Five minutes? 1037 00:48:03,564 --> 00:48:05,564 What if they get lost? 1038 00:48:05,566 --> 00:48:07,901 I'm sure she has a GPS. 1039 00:48:07,903 --> 00:48:09,903 Look, man, I don't want to die, 1040 00:48:09,905 --> 00:48:12,488 not in here, not like this! 1041 00:48:12,490 --> 00:48:14,240 Would you just chill? 1042 00:48:14,242 --> 00:48:15,157 Chill? 1043 00:48:15,159 --> 00:48:17,578 I have five minutes left to live! 1044 00:48:17,580 --> 00:48:18,746 Actually four. 1045 00:48:18,748 --> 00:48:22,708 Oh man, ah, I'm really good with computers, man. 1046 00:48:22,710 --> 00:48:26,170 Like, I'll fix yours totally free of charge. 1047 00:48:26,172 --> 00:48:28,298 Haven't I taught you anything? 1048 00:48:28,300 --> 00:48:30,968 Reptoids track us through computers. 1049 00:48:30,970 --> 00:48:32,927 Didn't you see Enemy of the State? 1050 00:48:32,929 --> 00:48:35,097 Of course I saw Enemy of the State. 1051 00:48:35,099 --> 00:48:37,391 That movie didn't have any Reptars. 1052 00:48:37,393 --> 00:48:38,599 What? 1053 00:48:38,601 --> 00:48:41,103 It's Reptoids, you dopey shit. 1054 00:48:41,105 --> 00:48:43,147 You didn't see them, but they were there. 1055 00:48:43,149 --> 00:48:46,109 They're the ones running the show from behind the scenes. 1056 00:48:46,111 --> 00:48:47,777 Screw that movie, man! 1057 00:48:47,779 --> 00:48:49,361 I want to live. 1058 00:48:49,363 --> 00:48:52,282 I could be like your sidekick, you know, 1059 00:48:52,284 --> 00:48:56,619 like Batman has, like, Robin. 1060 00:48:56,621 --> 00:48:58,790 What the hell are you talking about? 1061 00:48:59,958 --> 00:49:03,126 You are my hostage. 1062 00:49:03,128 --> 00:49:06,131 Robin was never Batman's hostage. 1063 00:49:06,133 --> 00:49:07,426 Please, man! 1064 00:49:08,551 --> 00:49:10,426 Take a chill pill, junior. 1065 00:49:10,428 --> 00:49:12,261 I'm not gonna kill you. 1066 00:49:12,263 --> 00:49:14,763 I need you for the bloodsucker. 1067 00:49:14,765 --> 00:49:15,724 Don't hurt her, man, 1068 00:49:15,726 --> 00:49:16,978 not my Ashlee! 1069 00:49:19,313 --> 00:49:20,147 Oh. 1070 00:49:22,733 --> 00:49:25,485 So now she's your Ashlee. 1071 00:49:26,779 --> 00:49:28,821 I know this is hard for you, kid. 1072 00:49:28,823 --> 00:49:30,490 She's obviously glamored you 1073 00:49:30,492 --> 00:49:32,494 into being her obedient puppy dog. 1074 00:49:34,037 --> 00:49:37,122 My brain's too strong for that shit. 1075 00:49:37,124 --> 00:49:39,458 Once I slay her, 1076 00:49:39,460 --> 00:49:42,545 you'll be free of her spell once and for all. 1077 00:49:42,547 --> 00:49:45,217 (WEIGHTY MUSIC) 1078 00:49:57,063 --> 00:49:59,354 Looks like this is your lucky day. 1079 00:49:59,356 --> 00:50:02,524 (PHONE RINGING) 1080 00:50:02,526 --> 00:50:03,442 Hello? 1081 00:50:03,444 --> 00:50:05,612 SIMONE: Let me speak to my brother. 1082 00:50:05,614 --> 00:50:08,031 MARCUS: Yeah, there's no talking on the phone, 1083 00:50:08,033 --> 00:50:09,281 not on my watch. 1084 00:50:09,283 --> 00:50:11,702 Well before you do anything to my brother, 1085 00:50:12,703 --> 00:50:15,706 you might want to speak to your little boyfriend over here. 1086 00:50:15,708 --> 00:50:16,541 Hey, man. 1087 00:50:16,543 --> 00:50:17,832 MARCUS: Goddamn, son of a bitch! 1088 00:50:17,834 --> 00:50:19,376 Whoa. 1089 00:50:19,378 --> 00:50:20,544 Take it easy. 1090 00:50:20,546 --> 00:50:21,836 We're all tied up here. 1091 00:50:21,838 --> 00:50:24,090 I was gonna come alone, but Sal wanted to come too, 1092 00:50:24,092 --> 00:50:25,508 and he's tied up in the back. 1093 00:50:25,510 --> 00:50:26,550 What? 1094 00:50:26,552 --> 00:50:27,678 VIN: Can we hurry this up? 1095 00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:28,803 It's kind of late 1096 00:50:28,805 --> 00:50:30,138 and I really have to go to work early in the morning. 1097 00:50:30,140 --> 00:50:31,141 Goddammit! 1098 00:50:32,058 --> 00:50:33,893 Hey, that's my iPhone, dude! 1099 00:50:35,229 --> 00:50:37,397 Your sister's a sneaky little bitch. 1100 00:50:38,232 --> 00:50:39,651 No, it's not her. 1101 00:50:41,110 --> 00:50:42,945 It's your little vampire friend. 1102 00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,240 She thinks she can outsmart me. 1103 00:50:49,159 --> 00:50:51,912 Okay, let's get this over with. 1104 00:50:51,914 --> 00:50:52,997 Yay! 1105 00:50:52,999 --> 00:50:55,667 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 1106 00:51:29,538 --> 00:51:32,041 (GATE CREAKS) 1107 00:51:44,095 --> 00:51:45,430 Where are they? 1108 00:51:46,472 --> 00:51:47,765 I don't know. 1109 00:51:50,309 --> 00:51:53,853 Do you think Sam is dead? 1110 00:51:53,855 --> 00:51:55,022 What? 1111 00:51:55,024 --> 00:51:55,940 Ashlee, no! 1112 00:51:55,942 --> 00:51:58,150 Why would you say something like that? 1113 00:51:58,152 --> 00:51:59,025 I don't know. 1114 00:51:59,027 --> 00:52:01,194 I was just trying to make conversation. 1115 00:52:01,196 --> 00:52:04,158 You have a real fucked up way of doing that. 1116 00:52:10,831 --> 00:52:11,664 (PHONE RINGS) 1117 00:52:11,666 --> 00:52:12,500 Shit! 1118 00:52:18,341 --> 00:52:19,339 Whoa, watch that, dude! 1119 00:52:19,341 --> 00:52:20,175 Shut up! 1120 00:52:21,636 --> 00:52:24,639 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 1121 00:52:27,518 --> 00:52:28,432 Hello? 1122 00:52:28,434 --> 00:52:30,938 (MISTY MUSIC) 1123 00:52:34,358 --> 00:52:36,443 I heard your phone, asshole! 1124 00:52:39,781 --> 00:52:41,029 Hey, if you don't show yourself, 1125 00:52:41,031 --> 00:52:42,908 I'm gonna kill your buddies over here. 1126 00:52:47,830 --> 00:52:49,497 Ashlee! 1127 00:52:49,499 --> 00:52:50,497 Why are you yelling? 1128 00:52:50,499 --> 00:52:51,334 I'm right here. 1129 00:52:53,128 --> 00:52:54,043 Okay. 1130 00:52:54,045 --> 00:52:57,548 Um, rip that guy's head off! 1131 00:52:57,550 --> 00:52:58,382 Oh god, no! 1132 00:52:58,384 --> 00:52:59,427 Are you crazy? 1133 00:53:00,469 --> 00:53:01,719 I'm just making it up, idiot. 1134 00:53:01,721 --> 00:53:02,972 Just play along. 1135 00:53:04,557 --> 00:53:05,640 Okay, Simone. 1136 00:53:05,642 --> 00:53:10,270 Um, I'm gonna go and rip this guy's head off 1137 00:53:10,272 --> 00:53:12,397 and then he will die. 1138 00:53:12,399 --> 00:53:13,732 Was that okay? 1139 00:53:13,734 --> 00:53:14,902 It was fine. 1140 00:53:16,945 --> 00:53:17,777 Hey! 1141 00:53:17,779 --> 00:53:21,074 (STRANGE TECHNO MUSIC) 1142 00:53:26,873 --> 00:53:28,039 Oh my god, Sam! 1143 00:53:28,041 --> 00:53:29,624 Back off, freak show! 1144 00:53:29,626 --> 00:53:31,417 This wasn't part of the deal. 1145 00:53:31,419 --> 00:53:35,171 Yeah, well, I decided to change the rules, asshole! 1146 00:53:35,173 --> 00:53:37,758 You didn't decide anything! 1147 00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:38,761 She did. 1148 00:53:39,763 --> 00:53:41,094 What? 1149 00:53:41,096 --> 00:53:42,639 Yeah. 1150 00:53:42,641 --> 00:53:44,641 I know it was you, bloodsucker. 1151 00:53:44,643 --> 00:53:47,435 You're the one who masterminded this whole plan. 1152 00:53:47,437 --> 00:53:49,186 Well you know what? 1153 00:53:49,188 --> 00:53:51,649 No matter what happens here tonight, 1154 00:53:51,651 --> 00:53:53,691 you're not gonna make it out of here alive. 1155 00:53:53,693 --> 00:53:56,153 She's not alive, brainiac. 1156 00:53:56,155 --> 00:53:57,448 You know what I mean. 1157 00:53:59,075 --> 00:54:00,282 Oh my god! 1158 00:54:00,284 --> 00:54:01,115 Sam! 1159 00:54:01,117 --> 00:54:02,660 Don't you hurt him! 1160 00:54:02,662 --> 00:54:05,332 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 1161 00:54:17,469 --> 00:54:20,180 (GLASS BREAKING) 1162 00:54:36,365 --> 00:54:39,659 (MOVES INTO CREEPY MUSIC) 1163 00:54:39,661 --> 00:54:40,952 Give her to me, 1164 00:54:40,954 --> 00:54:42,327 and I'll let your brother live! 1165 00:54:42,329 --> 00:54:43,204 No! 1166 00:54:43,206 --> 00:54:44,664 You give me my brother 1167 00:54:44,666 --> 00:54:47,333 or I will have her rip their heads off! 1168 00:54:47,335 --> 00:54:49,001 Can't you see? 1169 00:54:49,003 --> 00:54:51,087 She has you under her spell. 1170 00:54:51,089 --> 00:54:52,046 Her? 1171 00:54:52,048 --> 00:54:53,841 Are you kidding me? 1172 00:54:53,843 --> 00:54:56,676 She has the IQ of a lab rat. 1173 00:54:56,678 --> 00:54:58,845 Hey, that's not nice! 1174 00:54:58,847 --> 00:55:02,683 Ashlee, I'm trying to save my brother here. 1175 00:55:02,685 --> 00:55:04,311 Well, if I wanted to, 1176 00:55:04,313 --> 00:55:07,355 I can do that thing, like you said. 1177 00:55:07,357 --> 00:55:08,856 Shut up, you! 1178 00:55:08,858 --> 00:55:10,525 I know what you're trying to do. 1179 00:55:10,527 --> 00:55:12,360 You're making her think that you're not in control 1180 00:55:12,362 --> 00:55:14,737 so now I think that she's in control. 1181 00:55:14,739 --> 00:55:17,576 (PERPLEXED MUSIC) 1182 00:55:31,717 --> 00:55:33,886 (RINGING) 1183 00:55:36,931 --> 00:55:39,140 Oh, what is that? 1184 00:55:39,142 --> 00:55:40,268 Are you okay? 1185 00:55:41,144 --> 00:55:42,977 Oh, yeah, it's just that... 1186 00:55:42,979 --> 00:55:45,021 I'm getting tired of waiting. 1187 00:55:45,023 --> 00:55:47,356 Bring her to me or I'm gonna kill him! 1188 00:55:47,358 --> 00:55:49,399 Don't you hurt him! 1189 00:55:49,401 --> 00:55:51,319 I swear to god I'm gonna do it! 1190 00:55:51,321 --> 00:55:52,155 No! 1191 00:55:53,114 --> 00:55:54,572 (SIMONE SCREAMS) 1192 00:55:54,574 --> 00:55:55,699 No! 1193 00:55:55,701 --> 00:55:57,451 What the fuck? 1194 00:55:57,453 --> 00:55:59,245 All of you are fucking psychopaths! 1195 00:55:59,247 --> 00:56:00,078 I don't want to do this! 1196 00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:01,038 What are you doing? 1197 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,455 You forced my hand! 1198 00:56:02,457 --> 00:56:03,832 You're screwing everything up! 1199 00:56:03,834 --> 00:56:05,168 I'm getting us out of here! 1200 00:56:05,170 --> 00:56:06,378 Come on, Vin! 1201 00:56:06,380 --> 00:56:07,878 It's about time. 1202 00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:09,256 I'll see you tomorrow, Marcus. 1203 00:56:09,258 --> 00:56:10,673 Hey, can you untie me? 1204 00:56:10,675 --> 00:56:11,634 Uh, sure. 1205 00:56:12,469 --> 00:56:13,593 Grab him, Ashlee! 1206 00:56:13,595 --> 00:56:14,427 What? 1207 00:56:14,429 --> 00:56:15,638 Grab him! 1208 00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:16,846 Aw come on. 1209 00:56:16,848 --> 00:56:18,265 I gotta get some sleep, yo. 1210 00:56:18,267 --> 00:56:19,433 She's a female, Vin! 1211 00:56:19,435 --> 00:56:20,685 Lose her! 1212 00:56:20,687 --> 00:56:22,102 (VIN CRIES OUT) 1213 00:56:22,104 --> 00:56:23,520 She isn't normal! 1214 00:56:23,522 --> 00:56:25,355 Yeah, she got me with a powerful grip. 1215 00:56:25,357 --> 00:56:27,568 I'm sorry, she told me to do it! 1216 00:56:27,570 --> 00:56:28,943 It's okay. 1217 00:56:28,945 --> 00:56:30,778 Just be gentle. 1218 00:56:30,780 --> 00:56:32,447 Hey, you better tell your friend to... 1219 00:56:32,449 --> 00:56:34,157 To what, huh? 1220 00:56:34,159 --> 00:56:37,452 What are you gonna do, kill me? 1221 00:56:37,454 --> 00:56:40,040 (SNEAKY MUSIC) 1222 00:56:51,596 --> 00:56:52,885 I just want to go home! 1223 00:56:52,887 --> 00:56:54,762 Well you're not the only one! 1224 00:56:54,764 --> 00:56:56,599 Why don't you let him go? 1225 00:56:56,601 --> 00:56:58,766 Don't let him go, Ashlee! 1226 00:56:58,768 --> 00:56:59,728 Let him go! 1227 00:57:01,146 --> 00:57:02,438 Don't let him go! 1228 00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:03,274 Let him go! 1229 00:57:04,108 --> 00:57:05,649 I will not let him go! 1230 00:57:05,651 --> 00:57:07,819 Let me go. 1231 00:57:07,821 --> 00:57:08,903 I will not let you go. 1232 00:57:08,905 --> 00:57:09,738 Let me go! 1233 00:57:09,740 --> 00:57:10,571 I'll never let you go. 1234 00:57:10,573 --> 00:57:11,406 Let me go. 1235 00:57:11,408 --> 00:57:14,158 I'll never let you go. 1236 00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:17,413 ♪ No no no no no no no ♪ 1237 00:57:17,415 --> 00:57:18,831 Oh mamma mia. 1238 00:57:18,833 --> 00:57:19,998 Simone! 1239 00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:23,129 (FERAL TECHNO MUSIC) 1240 00:57:31,889 --> 00:57:32,845 Vin! 1241 00:57:32,847 --> 00:57:35,726 (ASHLEE SCREAMING) 1242 00:57:37,644 --> 00:57:38,853 Get her off him. 1243 00:57:38,855 --> 00:57:41,775 (ASHLEE SCREAMING) 1244 00:57:43,192 --> 00:57:45,609 Prepare to meet your maker, spawn of... 1245 00:57:45,611 --> 00:57:46,985 SIMONE: Hey! 1246 00:57:46,987 --> 00:57:49,279 (SAM SCREAMS) 1247 00:57:49,281 --> 00:57:50,364 What the hell? 1248 00:57:50,366 --> 00:57:51,784 Munchkins! 1249 00:57:51,786 --> 00:57:53,287 Goddamn munchkins! 1250 00:57:55,747 --> 00:57:56,581 Hey, guys. 1251 00:57:58,251 --> 00:57:59,084 Ring toss? 1252 00:58:00,086 --> 00:58:01,671 How you feeling, doc? 1253 00:58:04,716 --> 00:58:06,466 Ugh, I know that guy. 1254 00:58:06,468 --> 00:58:07,549 Me too. 1255 00:58:07,551 --> 00:58:08,969 (LAUGHS) Hey, all right, 1256 00:58:08,971 --> 00:58:10,722 looks like you got your color back. 1257 00:58:12,975 --> 00:58:15,892 (ASHLEE COUGHS) 1258 00:58:15,894 --> 00:58:18,144 Ew, gross, what, 1259 00:58:18,146 --> 00:58:19,104 what is this? 1260 00:58:19,106 --> 00:58:20,898 That's disgusting. 1261 00:58:20,900 --> 00:58:22,441 As if! 1262 00:58:22,443 --> 00:58:24,153 I just set you free, doc. 1263 00:58:25,905 --> 00:58:28,573 Here, let me show you. 1264 00:58:28,575 --> 00:58:30,993 No, turn it off, turn it off! 1265 00:58:30,995 --> 00:58:32,953 Oh my god! 1266 00:58:32,955 --> 00:58:35,038 What is that noise? 1267 00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:36,247 I don't hear anything. 1268 00:58:36,249 --> 00:58:37,707 Oh shit! 1269 00:58:37,709 --> 00:58:39,418 Oh no you don't! 1270 00:58:39,420 --> 00:58:42,255 Yeah, pal, I'm not gonna let you hurt my Ashlee. 1271 00:58:42,257 --> 00:58:44,840 It's not her, it's that guy. 1272 00:58:44,842 --> 00:58:47,927 If we don't stop him, we're all gonna be in big trouble. 1273 00:58:47,929 --> 00:58:50,262 (LAUGHS) Nobody's stopping me, buddy. 1274 00:58:50,264 --> 00:58:53,519 In fact, why don't we just kick this up a notch, huh? 1275 00:58:54,729 --> 00:58:56,897 (RINGING) 1276 00:58:58,983 --> 00:59:00,816 What is that? 1277 00:59:00,818 --> 00:59:02,609 (SAL SCREAMS) 1278 00:59:02,611 --> 00:59:04,737 How you feeling, doc? 1279 00:59:04,739 --> 00:59:07,907 (SAL SCREAMS) 1280 00:59:07,909 --> 00:59:10,076 (SAL HOWLS) 1281 00:59:10,078 --> 00:59:12,831 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1282 00:59:24,635 --> 00:59:27,305 (CLOTH RIPPING) 1283 00:59:38,692 --> 00:59:40,946 (GROWLING) 1284 00:59:52,792 --> 00:59:55,335 (CREEPY MUSIC) 1285 01:00:15,941 --> 01:00:18,193 (GROWLING) 1286 01:00:25,410 --> 01:00:26,241 (SLAMMING) 1287 01:00:26,243 --> 01:00:29,831 (ASHLEE AND SIMONE SCREAM) 1288 01:00:40,260 --> 01:00:41,341 Shit, it's a dead end! 1289 01:00:41,343 --> 01:00:44,179 (PERPLEXED MUSIC) 1290 01:00:48,184 --> 01:00:49,183 (SIMONE GASPS) 1291 01:00:49,185 --> 01:00:50,061 Um, guys. 1292 01:00:57,819 --> 01:01:00,488 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 1293 01:01:05,329 --> 01:01:07,331 (HOWLS) 1294 01:01:08,916 --> 01:01:09,830 I got this. 1295 01:01:09,832 --> 01:01:12,836 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 1296 01:01:29,188 --> 01:01:31,273 (GROWLS) 1297 01:01:54,757 --> 01:01:56,298 Oh. 1298 01:01:56,300 --> 01:01:57,925 It's about time you showed up. 1299 01:01:57,927 --> 01:02:00,593 You know, (LAUGHS) it took me a while to find you guys. 1300 01:02:00,595 --> 01:02:03,432 (FEROCIOUS MUSIC) 1301 01:02:05,310 --> 01:02:06,687 Marcus, I got your back. 1302 01:02:10,022 --> 01:02:12,065 (CLATTERING) 1303 01:02:12,067 --> 01:02:14,024 (GRUNTING) 1304 01:02:14,026 --> 01:02:16,530 (ANGRY MUSIC) 1305 01:02:38,386 --> 01:02:41,431 (GROWLING) 1306 01:02:41,433 --> 01:02:43,851 (BODY THUDS) 1307 01:02:45,353 --> 01:02:47,355 (HOWLS) 1308 01:02:49,732 --> 01:02:52,485 Get out of the way, slime ball! 1309 01:02:55,238 --> 01:02:57,532 You two can leave. 1310 01:02:58,992 --> 01:03:01,536 Not you, sweet cheeks, not you. 1311 01:03:03,415 --> 01:03:05,667 (GROWLING) 1312 01:03:09,587 --> 01:03:12,214 (CRAZED MUSIC) 1313 01:03:13,382 --> 01:03:15,637 (GRUNTING) 1314 01:04:07,483 --> 01:04:08,316 (ASHLEE GASPS) 1315 01:04:08,318 --> 01:04:09,358 Ew! 1316 01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:10,444 What is that? 1317 01:04:11,612 --> 01:04:14,407 Just some dog pheromones to get the action started. 1318 01:04:15,952 --> 01:04:17,368 Knock it off, dude. 1319 01:04:17,370 --> 01:04:18,618 This ain't funny. 1320 01:04:18,620 --> 01:04:21,124 (ANGRY MUSIC) 1321 01:04:23,417 --> 01:04:25,459 (GROWLS) 1322 01:04:25,461 --> 01:04:27,295 (THUDS) 1323 01:04:27,297 --> 01:04:28,170 Vin. 1324 01:04:28,172 --> 01:04:30,967 (WRATHFUL MUSIC) 1325 01:04:37,433 --> 01:04:40,435 (SAM SCREAMS) 1326 01:04:40,437 --> 01:04:41,602 Vin. 1327 01:04:41,604 --> 01:04:42,979 Mom, mom? 1328 01:04:42,981 --> 01:04:43,857 Hey, buddy. 1329 01:04:44,983 --> 01:04:45,984 You're not my mom. 1330 01:04:47,318 --> 01:04:48,902 I wish I knew how to quit you. 1331 01:04:50,113 --> 01:04:51,365 Now come on, let's go. 1332 01:04:54,826 --> 01:04:56,159 Simone. 1333 01:04:56,161 --> 01:04:58,371 (GROWLING) 1334 01:05:01,083 --> 01:05:02,876 Are you okay? 1335 01:05:02,878 --> 01:05:04,376 I think I'll be all right. 1336 01:05:04,378 --> 01:05:06,631 (GROWLING) 1337 01:05:08,341 --> 01:05:10,091 Well, (LAUGHS) it's about damn time. 1338 01:05:10,093 --> 01:05:12,846 (TROUBLED MUSIC) 1339 01:05:18,853 --> 01:05:21,270 Hey there, Squid fans. 1340 01:05:21,272 --> 01:05:23,022 It's your old Uncle Todd 1341 01:05:23,024 --> 01:05:27,528 reporting to you live with an unprecedented event, 1342 01:05:27,530 --> 01:05:29,990 and have I got a surprise for you. 1343 01:05:31,117 --> 01:05:34,327 I was gonna keep this in my private video stash, 1344 01:05:34,329 --> 01:05:38,415 but I decided it's just too good not to share! 1345 01:05:38,417 --> 01:05:43,422 So I present to you the gonzo porn event of the century, 1346 01:05:44,506 --> 01:05:49,511 a vampire and a werewolf in 1347 01:05:51,431 --> 01:05:53,599 Monster Fuckbags! 1348 01:05:55,726 --> 01:05:58,646 (UNFRIENDLY MUSIC) 1349 01:06:03,903 --> 01:06:06,444 Hey, get out of the shot, junior! 1350 01:06:06,446 --> 01:06:07,531 Let go of her! 1351 01:06:10,825 --> 01:06:12,827 You're gonna get yourself killed, kid. 1352 01:06:13,996 --> 01:06:15,121 Here. 1353 01:06:15,123 --> 01:06:16,164 Watch it, buddy. 1354 01:06:16,166 --> 01:06:17,000 Huh? 1355 01:06:20,503 --> 01:06:22,670 Hey, you want to be a cowboy? 1356 01:06:22,672 --> 01:06:23,547 Hell yeah, partner. 1357 01:06:23,549 --> 01:06:26,468 (DETERMINED MUSIC) 1358 01:06:31,682 --> 01:06:32,516 SIMONE: Hey. 1359 01:06:34,727 --> 01:06:35,937 You just read my mind. 1360 01:06:41,025 --> 01:06:42,027 Hey, blue balls! 1361 01:06:44,779 --> 01:06:47,780 Come get some. 1362 01:06:47,782 --> 01:06:48,949 Oh come on! 1363 01:06:48,951 --> 01:06:51,787 (PERPLEXED MUSIC) 1364 01:06:52,664 --> 01:06:53,580 Now, kid! 1365 01:06:53,582 --> 01:06:54,414 (GROWLING) 1366 01:06:54,416 --> 01:06:57,711 (SERIOUS TECHNO MUSIC) 1367 01:07:08,763 --> 01:07:09,846 Don't mind me. 1368 01:07:09,848 --> 01:07:12,058 (GROWLING) 1369 01:07:17,273 --> 01:07:19,316 (TODD LAUGHS) 1370 01:07:19,318 --> 01:07:20,233 (RINGING) 1371 01:07:20,235 --> 01:07:21,068 Ow! 1372 01:07:22,820 --> 01:07:25,072 (GROWLING) 1373 01:07:27,660 --> 01:07:30,288 (ROPE CREAKING) 1374 01:07:32,040 --> 01:07:33,038 Marcus! 1375 01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:35,958 (METALLIC CREAKING) 1376 01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:38,464 (TENSE MUSIC) 1377 01:07:51,435 --> 01:07:53,687 (THUDDING) 1378 01:07:55,439 --> 01:07:57,232 (GROWLING) 1379 01:07:57,234 --> 01:07:58,065 Shit! 1380 01:07:58,067 --> 01:08:01,278 (SERIOUS TECHNO MUSIC) 1381 01:08:04,617 --> 01:08:07,617 How about a little bit more of eau du Fido? 1382 01:08:07,619 --> 01:08:09,536 No, what are you doing? 1383 01:08:09,538 --> 01:08:10,539 Crazy bitch! 1384 01:08:13,544 --> 01:08:14,625 (CRASHING) 1385 01:08:14,627 --> 01:08:17,213 (TODD SCREAMS) 1386 01:08:22,970 --> 01:08:24,803 Hey there, Squid fans. 1387 01:08:24,805 --> 01:08:28,056 There are some interesting developments happening 1388 01:08:28,058 --> 01:08:30,685 at this very moment. 1389 01:08:30,687 --> 01:08:34,229 Good old Uncle Todd decided to, uh, well, 1390 01:08:34,231 --> 01:08:37,024 get in on some of the doggy action. 1391 01:08:37,026 --> 01:08:37,861 So stick around! 1392 01:08:38,821 --> 01:08:40,861 You don't want to miss this. 1393 01:08:40,863 --> 01:08:43,323 (TODD SCREAMING) 1394 01:08:43,325 --> 01:08:46,077 (DREADFUL MUSIC) 1395 01:08:53,836 --> 01:08:55,544 (SCREAMS) 1396 01:08:55,546 --> 01:08:56,379 (EVERYONE GROANS) 1397 01:08:56,381 --> 01:08:57,632 That's gross! 1398 01:09:00,260 --> 01:09:02,428 So much for Asian stereotypes. 1399 01:09:02,430 --> 01:09:05,016 (TODD SOBBING) 1400 01:09:10,354 --> 01:09:13,024 (WEIGHTY MUSIC) 1401 01:09:25,955 --> 01:09:28,041 You knew he was a werewolf, didn't you? 1402 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,667 Used to bite all the local dogs 1403 01:09:31,669 --> 01:09:33,796 to get patients for his veterinary clinic. 1404 01:09:34,796 --> 01:09:36,297 Some racket. 1405 01:09:36,299 --> 01:09:40,052 It was, until we got pieces of Vin's mom silverware 1406 01:09:40,054 --> 01:09:40,888 into his blood. 1407 01:09:41,930 --> 01:09:43,763 That's how his skin turned blue. 1408 01:09:43,765 --> 01:09:45,850 She's still pissed off about that. 1409 01:09:49,188 --> 01:09:51,358 (HOWLING) 1410 01:09:54,860 --> 01:09:56,904 He must've just finished. 1411 01:09:58,030 --> 01:09:59,112 Shouldn't we discuss what we're gonna do 1412 01:09:59,114 --> 01:10:00,449 with those two in there? 1413 01:10:02,078 --> 01:10:03,993 After what we just went through, no. 1414 01:10:03,995 --> 01:10:05,828 I think we should just go home now. 1415 01:10:05,830 --> 01:10:08,083 Hey, we're all in this together. 1416 01:10:10,253 --> 01:10:11,087 Fine. 1417 01:10:12,754 --> 01:10:14,171 I admit it. 1418 01:10:14,173 --> 01:10:16,757 I miscalculated a few things, 1419 01:10:16,759 --> 01:10:19,594 but we made a pretty good team in there. 1420 01:10:19,596 --> 01:10:22,221 When we weren't trying to kill each other. 1421 01:10:22,223 --> 01:10:23,849 I thought we made a great team. 1422 01:10:24,851 --> 01:10:26,977 Hey, bloodsucker! 1423 01:10:26,979 --> 01:10:29,982 (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC) 1424 01:10:32,317 --> 01:10:33,193 You're all right. 1425 01:10:34,862 --> 01:10:37,864 Looks like Van Helsing's had a change of heart. 1426 01:10:37,866 --> 01:10:38,906 Who's Van Helsing? 1427 01:10:38,908 --> 01:10:41,744 (EMOTIONAL MUSIC) 1428 01:10:44,957 --> 01:10:47,081 Can I get my keys back, dude? 1429 01:10:47,083 --> 01:10:49,753 (WEIGHTY MUSIC) 1430 01:10:55,010 --> 01:10:55,884 Need a lift? 1431 01:10:55,886 --> 01:10:56,718 Yeah, man. 1432 01:10:56,720 --> 01:10:58,344 I gotta work in four hours. 1433 01:10:58,346 --> 01:11:01,308 (BITTERSWEET MUSIC) 1434 01:11:33,175 --> 01:11:37,177 ♪ You took too much ♪ 1435 01:11:37,179 --> 01:11:39,305 ♪ Heavy-handed ♪ 1436 01:11:39,307 --> 01:11:41,974 ♪ Just to stay in touch ♪ 1437 01:11:41,976 --> 01:11:46,187 ♪ You were always free ♪ 1438 01:11:46,189 --> 01:11:51,027 ♪ With freedom so incomplete ♪ 1439 01:11:51,029 --> 01:11:55,364 ♪ It's all as was ♪ 1440 01:11:55,366 --> 01:11:57,532 ♪ Find a key there ♪ 1441 01:11:57,534 --> 01:12:00,327 ♪ While you're reaching up ♪ 1442 01:12:00,329 --> 01:12:04,874 ♪ I know what you've done ♪ 1443 01:12:04,876 --> 01:12:07,418 ♪ Did it all for ♪ 1444 01:12:07,420 --> 01:12:10,546 ♪ One to love ♪ 1445 01:12:10,548 --> 01:12:14,552 ♪ And then it happened again ♪ 1446 01:12:14,554 --> 01:12:19,559 ♪ You can't control what history knows ♪ 1447 01:12:19,850 --> 01:12:23,561 ♪ Disgrace cover your face ♪ 1448 01:12:23,563 --> 01:12:28,569 ♪ Trying to hide what the daylight shows ♪ 1449 01:12:28,987 --> 01:12:32,862 ♪ Like that flat on your back ♪ 1450 01:12:32,864 --> 01:12:37,870 ♪ Get what you want whatever the cost ♪ 1451 01:12:38,247 --> 01:12:42,081 ♪ My love it's in your blood ♪ 1452 01:12:42,083 --> 01:12:46,171 ♪ Came to the world already lost ♪ 1453 01:13:05,233 --> 01:13:09,403 ♪ It starts in parts ♪ 1454 01:13:09,405 --> 01:13:14,075 ♪ It stops and hesitates ♪ 1455 01:13:14,077 --> 01:13:18,413 ♪ You won't lack a scar ♪ 1456 01:13:18,415 --> 01:13:23,500 ♪ It was over when you went too far ♪ 1457 01:13:23,502 --> 01:13:28,006 ♪ Take back what's been done ♪ 1458 01:13:28,008 --> 01:13:32,553 ♪ Here I am while you hold the gun ♪ 1459 01:13:32,555 --> 01:13:37,141 ♪ You were never free ♪ 1460 01:13:37,143 --> 01:13:42,149 ♪ Your blood has you in too deep ♪ 1461 01:13:45,735 --> 01:13:50,073 ♪ You're mixing it in ♪ 1462 01:13:50,075 --> 01:13:54,661 ♪ You're mixing it in ♪ 1463 01:13:54,663 --> 01:13:59,248 ♪ You're mixing it in ♪ 1464 01:13:59,250 --> 01:14:03,003 ♪ You're mixing it in ♪ 1465 01:14:03,005 --> 01:14:07,382 ♪ Now you're mixing it in ♪ 1466 01:14:07,384 --> 01:14:11,971 ♪ Now you're mixing it in ♪ 1467 01:14:11,973 --> 01:14:16,601 ♪ Now you're mixing it in ♪ 1468 01:14:16,603 --> 01:14:19,812 ♪ Now ♪ 1469 01:14:19,814 --> 01:14:23,400 ♪ And then it happened again ♪ 1470 01:14:23,402 --> 01:14:28,408 ♪ You can't control what history knows ♪ 1471 01:14:28,949 --> 01:14:32,742 ♪ Disgrace cover your face ♪ 1472 01:14:32,744 --> 01:14:37,709 ♪ Trying to hide what the daylight shows ♪ 1473 01:14:38,209 --> 01:14:41,795 ♪ Like that flat on your back ♪ 1474 01:14:41,797 --> 01:14:46,759 ♪ Get what you want whatever the cost ♪ 1475 01:14:47,511 --> 01:14:51,263 ♪ My love it's in your blood ♪ 1476 01:14:51,265 --> 01:14:55,353 ♪ Came to the world already lost ♪ 1477 01:15:05,781 --> 01:15:08,367 (SPOOKY MUSIC) 1478 01:15:31,433 --> 01:15:33,101 Todd. 1479 01:15:37,398 --> 01:15:39,901 (EERIE MUSIC) 1480 01:15:54,221 --> 01:15:55,814 Subtitles by explosiveskull95906