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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today 2 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,691 ♪ Watch it! ♪ 3 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:38,830 ♪ Just like the one that got away ♪ 4 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,208 ♪ So close and yet so far ♪ 5 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,212 ♪ I threw my hook into the water ♪ 6 00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,214 ♪ I nearly caught her ♪ 7 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,299 ♪ How bizarre ♪ 8 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,052 ♪ Now I'm up the creek ♪ 9 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,971 ♪ Though I have lost a little pride ♪ 10 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,681 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 11 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,474 ♪ I know that time is on my side ♪ 12 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,434 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 13 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,311 ♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪ 14 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,188 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 15 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,148 ♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪ 16 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,984 ♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪ 17 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,403 ♪ I know that I am up the creek ♪ 18 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,281 ♪ Hey! Hey! ♪ 19 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:19,663 ♪ The foreign legion's always there ♪ 20 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,499 ♪ I need a holiday ♪ 21 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:26,378 ♪ Daydream in the desert ♪ 22 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,213 ♪ With no pressure ♪ 23 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:32,968 ♪ That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek ♪ 24 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,803 ♪ Oh, I've lost a little pride ♪ 25 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,722 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 26 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,640 ♪ I know that time is on my side ♪ 27 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,434 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 28 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,144 ♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪ 29 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,187 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 30 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,064 ♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪ 31 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,899 ♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪ 32 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,319 ♪ I know that I am up the creek ♪ 33 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,948 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 34 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,825 ♪ Without a paddle ♪ 35 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,660 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 36 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,038 ♪ But that don't matter at all ♪ 37 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,208 ♪ Don't matter at all ♪ 38 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,796 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 39 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,631 ♪ Without a paddle ♪ 40 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,258 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 41 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,511 ♪ I'm ready to battle it all ♪ 42 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,474 ♪ Don't matter at all ♪ 43 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,019 ♪ Oh! ♪ 44 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,064 ♪ Hey! Hey! ♪ 45 00:02:31,982 --> 00:02:35,673 [CAWING] 46 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,743 - Excuse me, could you... - [PUNCH] 47 00:03:19,773 --> 00:03:21,243 Ew! Oh! 48 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,499 - Ew! What a big nightstick! - [PUNCH] 49 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,809 Ah! He-he, oh. 50 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,853 Mom? No! Take me! 51 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,647 It wasn't Mr. Moo-moo. I want Mr. Moo-moo! 52 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,857 No! 53 00:04:00,427 --> 00:04:01,952 Ah! 54 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,623 Okay, okay. How about lunch? 55 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:09,791 Gotta get lunch, right? 56 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,334 Max, it's five in the morning! 57 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,542 What about dinner? You gotta get hungry sometime today... 58 00:04:13,605 --> 00:04:15,309 - [DIAL TONE] - Hello? 59 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,523 Desperation's not pretty. 60 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,870 Cheese! 61 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:06,723 Hey! 62 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,653 WOMAN ON TAPE: See José run. 63 00:05:19,698 --> 00:05:21,999 Corre, José, corre! 64 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,824 Run, José, run! 65 00:05:24,143 --> 00:05:27,333 José no tiene tarjeta verde. 66 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,497 José has no green card. 67 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,288 ¿Dónde está José? 68 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,970 It was open! 69 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,180 Get out of bed, McGraw, we haven't got all day. 70 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,307 The zoo's out then, huh? 71 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:50,934 I've seen your record, McGraw. 72 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,727 I know what kind of a guy you are, 73 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,693 so don't give me an excuse to use this. 74 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,232 Your mother's ugly. You're stupid. 75 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,733 - Your sister makes it with... - You stinkin'... 76 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,861 Stop it, Leslie. Get a hold of yourself! 77 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,777 Don't let this jerk get to you. 78 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,865 Come on, I'm sorry. 79 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,866 Let's just forget I said anything, okay? 80 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,160 Let's be pals. 81 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,746 What do you say, Leslie? 82 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:12,998 Leslie! 83 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,749 Come on, let me hit him just once. 84 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,502 Just one little crack on the head, that's all I'm askin'. 85 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,682 Alright. Just a little one. But make it fast. 86 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,618 Hey, don't you guys have a sense of humor? 87 00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:24,934 - [PUNCH] - [CAWING] 88 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,601 Get rid of the bottle, McGraw. 89 00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:35,312 Oh, Leslie. For you, anything. 90 00:06:35,926 --> 00:06:38,276 - [SMASH] - [CROW CRIES] 91 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,166 Come on. Come on! 92 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,916 Hey! 93 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,376 Dean Burch. 94 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,131 You've had quite a colorful career as a student, Mr. McGraw. 95 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,885 You've managed to be suspended, expelled, or physically thrown out of 96 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,721 16 colleges and universities throughout the country. 97 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,142 You've changed your major 23 times. 98 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,978 And your presence has been tied directly 99 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,315 to three university presidents losing their jobs, 100 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,401 two others being committed to sanitariums, 101 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,904 and at least one known suicide. 102 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,782 Have I left anything out? 103 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,914 Just the good stuff. 104 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,623 Mr. McGraw, as you are aware, 105 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,918 this university, our university 106 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:44,172 has the reputation as the single worst educational institution in the country. 107 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,049 That's because it is the worst 108 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,565 educational institution in the country, sir. 109 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:52,263 Do you realize that not one single student, 110 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:55,238 including you, and them, 111 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,913 has ever won any award for anything? 112 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,190 Not one ribbon, not one trophy. 113 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,651 In fact, the only certifiable recognition 114 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,237 that any of our alumni have ever received 115 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,949 is a parole. 116 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:16,246 Mr. McGraw, every year for the past 15 years 117 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,373 the colleges and universities of this country 118 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,709 have held an intercollegiate raft race. 119 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,423 If just once we... 120 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,842 I mean you 121 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,761 could win this race for our school, 122 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,680 it would mean an end 123 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,270 to jokes like "Lobotomy U." 124 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,195 it would mean that for the first time in our history... 125 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:49,694 Let me clarify my position, so that you can understand. 126 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,490 A raft means a river, 127 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,493 and a river means rapids, 128 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,553 and rapids spells death. 129 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,376 You got the wrong guy! 130 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,632 Not so fast, McGraw! 131 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,335 Okay. 132 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:08,140 You've got the wrong guy. 133 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,216 Excuse me, Dean Burch. 134 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,261 Um, I think there's another point that should be made. 135 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,971 I don't need this aggravation, 136 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,098 and this really doesn't sound like a lot of fun. 137 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,850 I'm damned if I'll let my university 138 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,352 be the laughing stock of this country any longer! 139 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,569 I want a victory with a capital "V" and I want it now! 140 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,234 No more excuses! No more holding back! 141 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:30,242 That's why I picked you. And them! 142 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,113 You have the distinct honor of being 143 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,945 the four worst students in the entire country. 144 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,577 You are not at the bottom of the list, 145 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,967 you are the bottom of the list! 146 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,583 That's why you're going to win this race for me and Lepetomane. 147 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,634 You're the only men who virtually have nothing left to lose! 148 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,777 Except my temper. 149 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,799 Mr. McGraw, 150 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,641 I'm not asking you to do this for nothing. 151 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,514 In fact, I'm prepared to make a very generous offer. 152 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,100 Degrees. 153 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,519 For all of you. 154 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,063 Degrees? 155 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,273 In whatever subject you like. 156 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,150 English lit? 157 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,860 If that's what you want. 158 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,363 Providing, of course, that you win. 159 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:14,781 Physics? 160 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,666 Biochemistry. With a minor in art history. 161 00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,391 Home Ec? 162 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,544 And what if I say no? 163 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,381 I was hoping we could avoid this scene, 164 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,514 but since you feel the need to test me... 165 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,928 I suppose you know nothing about the student loans 166 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:40,356 you've taken out in 35 different names. 167 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:44,332 Or last semester's bookmaking operation in the computer center. 168 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,730 You think you can blackmail me 169 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,984 into playing this little game of yours, don't you? 170 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,529 Well, I got news for you, Mister. 171 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,989 This ain't just any dumb schmo you're dealing with here, 172 00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:01,579 this is Bob McGraw. The Bob McGraw. 173 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:05,008 And it's gonna take men a lot bigger than you 174 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,055 to make this guy play ball. 175 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,723 How about Poli-Sci? 176 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,686 I don't believe it! 177 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,938 Bob, listen to this. She dumped me! 178 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,565 Aw, come on, Max. 179 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:33,151 Bob, she said she never wants to see me again. 180 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,778 Let me tell you something about women. 181 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,531 They always say the opposite of what they mean. 182 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,366 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 183 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,619 "If you come within a three block radius of my house, 184 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,996 "I will have my new boyfriend Vito 185 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,790 "rip off your head and spit in your neck." 186 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,627 You're right, kid. You've been dumped. 187 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,712 Forget about her. Have a drink, huh? 188 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,381 The bar is now open. Cocktails, anyone? 189 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,218 - Banana daiquiri. - Martini, straight up. 190 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,012 Okay. Here you go, extra dry, just the way you like it. 191 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,430 Thank you. 192 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,974 How about you, big guy? 193 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,430 I'm all set. 194 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,773 Gonzer, do you realize what you're doing to your body? 195 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,608 That stuff's gonna kill you! 196 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,027 Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, 197 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,154 but soon, and for the rest of your life. 198 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,656 Gonz, your body is your temple. 199 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,033 If you don't worship it, who will? 200 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,992 And, Gonz, your temple is starting to resemble the astrodome. 201 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,636 Hey, Max is right. Get rid of that shit. 202 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,876 Come on, Gonzer, show food who's boss. 203 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,819 - Throw it out the window. - M-mm 204 00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:36,359 Gonzer! Gonzer! 205 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:40,097 Gonzer! Gonzer! Gonzer! 206 00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,220 Gonzer! Gonzer! 207 00:12:42,508 --> 00:12:43,770 Ah! 208 00:12:43,891 --> 00:12:45,975 Ahhhh-ooooo! 209 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,063 [CRASH] 210 00:12:47,094 --> 00:12:48,559 - That's the way to go! - Alright, Gonz! 211 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,311 What would you like to drink? 212 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,473 - Let me have a Brandy Alexander. - Brandy Alexander. 213 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,525 There you go. Especially for you. 214 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,777 Gonz, you look thinner already. 215 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,863 Excuse me. Excuse me. 216 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:07,328 Uh, look, Bob, I know we're not exactly the best. 217 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,206 As a matter of fact, we're not even very good. 218 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,166 But, uh, do you think we have a chance? 219 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,669 Everybody's got a chance, kid. 220 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,587 This is America. 221 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,715 Let's take you, for example. 222 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,967 Skinny, uncoordinated, 223 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,594 got a yellow streak down your back a mile wide, 224 00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,931 you're anemic, you dress like a creep, 225 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:30,242 you've got the personality of a mayo and baloney on white. 226 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:34,063 You're the kind of guy most people wouldn't give the time of day to. 227 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,982 What does that mean? 228 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,199 I don't know. 229 00:13:37,592 --> 00:13:38,834 - That doesn't mean... - Bob! 230 00:13:38,881 --> 00:13:40,146 - ...you don't have a chance. - [HONKING] 231 00:13:40,199 --> 00:13:41,415 Look at me! 232 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:47,081 Gee, I never thought of it like that. 233 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,911 Hey, don't mention it, kid. 234 00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:52,381 - [WHINING] - [FART SOUNDS] 235 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,013 Oh, geez! 236 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,554 Gonzer! 237 00:13:58,736 --> 00:14:00,110 [CHUCKLING] 238 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,133 Oh, man! 239 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,304 Gonzer! 240 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,931 You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 241 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,194 It wasn't me, man. 242 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,267 Who was it? 243 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,311 - It wasn't! - Who was it? 244 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,188 It was Chuck! 245 00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:17,145 - [BARKS] - Unh! 246 00:14:17,177 --> 00:14:18,777 - Alright! - [LAUGHING] 247 00:14:18,989 --> 00:14:20,208 You guys. 248 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,922 - [ROCK MUSIC] - [WOMEN LAUGHING AND SCREAMING] 249 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,871 Ivy U! Ivy U! 250 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,885 Roland Tozer. 251 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,595 - Rex Crandall. - Rex. 252 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,679 - Roger Van Dyke. - Roger. 253 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,267 Men, I have a lot of race preparation to do before tomorrow morning. 254 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:57,063 What do you say we just cut the bullshit and get down to business? 255 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,900 Standard race equipment. 256 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,701 Regulation handle, stock and blade. 257 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,031 With the exception of a little added feature. 258 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,743 Which is quite effective when it comes to 259 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:14,084 slashing the tubes of rafts without dropping a stroke. 260 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,332 - Impressive. - Adequate. 261 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,761 You haven't seen anything yet. 262 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,003 The Ivy U race kit. 263 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,005 Baby! 264 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,425 These ought to take care of any front runners. 265 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:27,844 Explosives! 266 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:29,971 Is this it? 267 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,141 Not to worry. There's plenty more back at my house. 268 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,893 What you cannot destroy or disable, 269 00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:38,781 I will have my referees disqualify. 270 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,155 Good. Very good. 271 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:45,492 Here it is. $5,000 in hundreds, just like you requested. 272 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,321 Well, thanks. 273 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,407 Would you like the trophy now, 274 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:52,328 or do you want to wait until you actually cross the finish line? 275 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:54,456 What, and disappoint the crowd? 276 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,707 I can't wait to be standing on my deck 277 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,877 watching you come around that bend. Thanks. 278 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,212 Aren't you gonna count it? 279 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:08,221 What, distrust of an alumnus? Class of '63. 280 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,470 I'll see you in the winner's circle. 281 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,098 Thank you, sir. 282 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:40,249 I need a shave. Bath. Cup of coffee and a good woman. 283 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,920 Something told me we've come to the wrong place. 284 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,461 Fill it up, Gonz. 285 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,469 You got any money? 286 00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,435 What the hell's this? 287 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,108 Will you check the oil? 288 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,569 Yes, sir. Just as soon as I'm done here. 289 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,738 What the heck, I'll do that for you. 290 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,074 No use you standing there holding your hose. 291 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,410 Yeah. Yeah. Thanks a lot. 292 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:19,121 Sure. That's it there. 293 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,416 - Hiya. - Hi, how are ya? 294 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,626 Not bad. Yourself? 295 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,044 - Okay. - Good. 296 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,505 Lots of grit. 297 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,924 Yeah, they get that way, I guess. 298 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,013 Looks good. 299 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,723 Looks great to me. 300 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,230 Wait. Wait. Maybe you better check the battery. 301 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,856 It's in here somewhere. I'm not sure where it is. 302 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,108 It's over here. 303 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,986 - Oh, that's a big one. - Yeah, they gotta be. 304 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,404 Get up! 305 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,364 You give me a hard on! 306 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,490 Get up! 307 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,867 Party! 308 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,620 Ivy U! Ivy U! 309 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,023 Listen to this part, you guys. 310 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,192 "His strong hands ran over her hardened nipples. 311 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,737 "The tender touch of his glistening body 312 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,865 "sent shock waves running through her naked breasts." 313 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:39,071 Yeah, I believe I've read this book before, Molly. 314 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,536 You know, I think I read it, too. 315 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,996 I think it's in the next chapter 316 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:45,181 where they start talking about his "throbbing spaceship of love." 317 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,960 Is that what Rexy-poo calls it? 318 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,421 Never mind, Corky. 319 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,760 Look! It's Rexy and the Ivy boys. 320 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,511 If it isn't the spaceship of love. 321 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,889 And it's throbbing away, I'm sure. 322 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,475 Can you believe it? We actually caught up with these guys! 323 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,060 At 110 miles per hour, 324 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,645 I'm surprised we didn't run them over. 325 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:06,771 Really! 326 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:24,893 Looks like Rex has other things on his mind besides me. 327 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,082 Oh! 328 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,417 Fill it up, okay? 329 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,846 Okay. Is there anything else? 330 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,516 Gaskets? New upholstery? Retreads? Paint job? 331 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,559 No, I think that's about it. 332 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,144 I think everything's okey-dokey. 333 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,312 - Okey-dokey? - Yeah. 334 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,362 Wait! 335 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,663 Is that it? 336 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,748 Well, the air cleaner. 337 00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,626 We've been having trouble with the suction. 338 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:16,257 Rex, I know you're in there! Now open this door now! 339 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,176 Ladies! 340 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,803 May I be of some assistance here? 341 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,096 Not unless you can open that door. 342 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,556 No problem. Hair pin? 343 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,017 - Heather! - Listen, if you guys aren't busy later... 344 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,772 You can't see a thing. 345 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,567 Come on, Rex has got business to take care of. 346 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,408 Heather! Hi. 347 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:46,370 Peaches! What are you doing here? 348 00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:50,124 That's it. That does it. It's over! 349 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,543 Maybe dinner? Some dancing? 350 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,878 You're an asshole! 351 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,129 Asshole already? 352 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,859 Heather, wait a minute! 353 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,008 Chuck, next time don't drink out of the toilet bowl 354 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,331 till I check it first, okay? 355 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,015 - Heather... - Not now. 356 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,222 Heather! 357 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,682 I have nothing to say to you. 358 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,309 I'm sure if you just took the time to get to know me 359 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,278 - we could work something out. - Heather. 360 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,563 I don't even want to see you again, ever. Do you understand that? 361 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,981 You are nothing but a cheap, lying bastard. 362 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,200 - I've had enough! - Calm down! 363 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,736 Who are you? Get out of my way. 364 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:19,945 No, no, no. She's right. 365 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,698 You are a cheap, lying bastard and we've had enough. 366 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,290 You stinkin'... 367 00:21:25,313 --> 00:21:27,438 ALL: Whoa! 368 00:21:27,493 --> 00:21:29,453 I'm so sorry, Heather! I'm... 369 00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:31,540 Take your hands off her! 370 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:32,875 Take your hands off of me! 371 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,835 Take your hands off of her! 372 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,464 If ever I can be of further assistance, 373 00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,174 feel free to call on me. 374 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,468 Anytime, anywhere. 375 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,014 Thank you. 376 00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,489 You son of a bitch. 377 00:21:58,567 --> 00:21:59,985 Sorry. 378 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,961 You get in my way again, and you're gonna be sorry you were born. 379 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,908 He knew then and there that the friendship they had since youth 380 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,118 had died a sudden and tragic death, 381 00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,120 destroyed by the love of a woman. 382 00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:17,211 Heather! Cupcake, listen to me! 383 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:18,898 Forget it, Rex! You're history! 384 00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:21,843 Shit. 385 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,180 $213.37? 386 00:22:30,224 --> 00:22:32,059 Keep the change, pal. 387 00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:47,575 I don't think I need to remind you gentlemen 388 00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:49,905 about the importance of this race. 389 00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:52,746 I don't think I have to bore you with the fact 390 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,915 that the Washington Military Institute 391 00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:58,627 has won this race for the past three years! 392 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:01,046 I don't think I need to stress the fact 393 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:04,091 that we will win this race at any cost, 394 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:07,261 because a corpsman, in his heart, in his gut, 395 00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,562 knows no such thing as defeat! 396 00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:13,434 Victory is the only thing he'll eat. 397 00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:15,782 And he'll eat it raw! 398 00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:17,938 Will We Win? 399 00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,575 ALL: Yes, sir! 400 00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:21,108 Then move out! 401 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:23,493 Detail, hut! 402 00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:25,574 Men out! 403 00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:31,285 Alright, roll! 404 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,705 You see that? 405 00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:48,177 A town like any other town. 406 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,512 A town with nothing to hide. 407 00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,098 Until they arrived. 408 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,516 Okay! 409 00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,481 Come on, Chuck. 410 00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:03,275 Here we are. 411 00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:05,736 Ladies. 412 00:24:09,838 --> 00:24:10,986 Oh! 413 00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:15,035 Gonzer! Down, boy! Down, boy. Here you go. Good boy. 414 00:24:19,605 --> 00:24:21,418 Oh, nice finger. 415 00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:23,232 I was just checking out the competition. 416 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,546 Come on, Chuck! 417 00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:29,385 ♪ We're the men from WMI ♪ 418 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,303 Shalom aleichem. 419 00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:34,682 Yeah, a few more guys... 420 00:24:35,126 --> 00:24:36,447 [GRUNTS] 421 00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:38,686 Excuse me. 422 00:24:38,769 --> 00:24:40,813 Is that spacelab up there? 423 00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:42,940 - No, I guess not. - No. 424 00:24:43,185 --> 00:24:44,234 Alright. 425 00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:54,952 The competition looks a little weirder than I expected. 426 00:24:55,293 --> 00:24:58,092 [WOLF HOWLING] 427 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:03,844 What's the matter, Chuck? You're not thirsty? 428 00:25:05,953 --> 00:25:07,770 [HOWLING] 429 00:25:08,424 --> 00:25:11,557 Oh, it's the call, isn't it, Chuck? 430 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,138 It's reaching out to you. 431 00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:15,901 It's pulling you from the gut. 432 00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:17,484 Isn't that right, boy? 433 00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:20,728 You meet me tomorrow morning, 10:00, at the portage. 434 00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,271 Don't be late. 435 00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:25,480 Come here, come here. Come here, slugger. 436 00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:31,655 Don't stay up all night, and don't drink too much. 437 00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:35,534 Remember that night on the west side with that bitch, binga, binga? 438 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,123 Go on, get outta here. 439 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,365 Horny bastard. 440 00:25:42,963 --> 00:25:46,137 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 441 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,299 Thank you. 442 00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:54,803 Nice jugs. 443 00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:03,031 Ringside seats. 444 00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:06,982 Lively crowd, huh? 445 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,693 Hey, did you order me that old fashioned? 446 00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:12,071 Oh, yeah, just the way you like it, extra bitters. 447 00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:15,157 I knew I could count on you. Here's to mediocrity. 448 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,117 Mediocrity, yeah! 449 00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:25,334 Nice right cross. 450 00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:30,172 Now, there's a girl who knows how to party. 451 00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:36,595 Gonz, who ordered this? 452 00:26:36,678 --> 00:26:38,138 I'll take it. 453 00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:44,061 There's the woman-hitter and his colleagues. 454 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,576 Nice hair. 455 00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:51,578 I don't think he likes you. 456 00:26:53,433 --> 00:26:54,712 Wow! 457 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,832 Would you look at all that beefcake. 458 00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:00,911 The odds are definitely in our favor. 459 00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:02,875 Take no prisoners. 460 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,585 - Here you go, ladies. - Thanks. 461 00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:09,962 Our pleasure. 462 00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:12,714 So you girls here for the big race tomorrow? 463 00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:16,226 No, actually, we're here to get laid. 464 00:27:16,282 --> 00:27:18,702 - [LAUGHING] - Well, let's go talk about this. 465 00:27:20,142 --> 00:27:21,142 Oh! 466 00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:22,516 Look at that one there! 467 00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:24,559 Gonzer, that's a guy. 468 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,066 Hey, can I buy you a drink, Irwin? 469 00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:32,651 No, no, I'm fine. 470 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:34,111 Pink dress. 471 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:35,988 Max, no! 472 00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,281 Come on. 473 00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,259 Is it showing? 474 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:57,662 - Way to go, Gonz! - Good job, buddy! 475 00:27:58,886 --> 00:28:02,816 Gentlemen! Soldiers, the map! Once again. 476 00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:04,141 Johnson! 477 00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:06,226 We enter left, we paddle right behind the big rock. 478 00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:08,353 Then left again past the dead tree, sir! 479 00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:09,563 Brown! 480 00:28:09,646 --> 00:28:11,690 Hard forward till we reach the turn of the rapids, 481 00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:13,241 then hug the shore, sir. 482 00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:14,651 Lieutenant Whitney! 483 00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:16,403 Baron's rapids, head for the hole, 484 00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:19,547 do a 360 degree turn and paddle hard right, sir! 485 00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,326 Good. Good. 486 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:24,171 Now it's time for night-night. 487 00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:30,750 Alright, guys, there's work to be done. It's sabotage time. 488 00:28:30,784 --> 00:28:34,151 [ALL CRYING OUT] 489 00:28:34,205 --> 00:28:35,908 Ah! 490 00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,472 - What do you want? - Stoli with a twist. 491 00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,185 Thank you. 492 00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:08,914 Hey, want a little popcorn? 493 00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:10,999 Oh! Excuse me. Gosh, I spilled that. 494 00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:13,168 I'll get it. That's... 495 00:29:17,673 --> 00:29:19,132 Hey, watch it. 496 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:20,968 Watch what? 497 00:29:21,051 --> 00:29:23,887 Watch what a fool I can make out of myself. 498 00:29:24,137 --> 00:29:26,231 Is that worth watching? 499 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:27,766 I'm very good at it, 500 00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:31,353 especially when I'm in the company of such an attractive woman. 501 00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:33,568 Haven't we met somewhere before? 502 00:29:35,357 --> 00:29:36,900 I suppose 503 00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:39,784 next you're gonna ask me if you can buy me a drink. 504 00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:42,155 "Aha" he says to himself, 505 00:29:42,239 --> 00:29:46,090 "here is a woman who knows a come-on when she hears one. 506 00:29:46,576 --> 00:29:48,662 "He thinks he's got her where he wants her, 507 00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:50,665 "but he has to make sure." 508 00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:52,416 Can I buy you a drink? 509 00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:55,877 She refuses with a shake of her beautiful head. 510 00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:57,254 That's perfect! 511 00:29:57,337 --> 00:30:01,300 She's passed the second test, but she's not an easy mark. 512 00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:04,381 Still, he must try the last line. 513 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,846 What... 514 00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:07,280 What's your major? 515 00:30:08,265 --> 00:30:09,558 Gin and tonic. 516 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,892 Gin and tonic for the lady! 517 00:30:14,271 --> 00:30:16,523 Make it two, will you? Thank you, my man. 518 00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:18,400 You wanna fool around? You wanna get married? 519 00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:19,651 Want fellatio or what? 520 00:30:19,735 --> 00:30:22,404 If I'm being too forward, just tell me to back off. 521 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:24,281 How about a name first? 522 00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:27,117 An old-fashioned girl, I like that. 523 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:28,910 McGraw. 524 00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:31,872 Bob McGraw. 525 00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:35,167 Rex, where you goin'? 526 00:30:35,250 --> 00:30:36,501 Hey, man! 527 00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:38,962 I'm Heather. 528 00:30:39,796 --> 00:30:41,590 Heather Merriweather. 529 00:30:54,353 --> 00:30:56,835 If I'm being too forward, just tell me. 530 00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:59,732 No, no, no. Not at all. 531 00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:02,908 You know, it's a little crowded in here. 532 00:31:02,931 --> 00:31:04,493 - Don't you think? - M-hm. 533 00:31:04,654 --> 00:31:05,864 Smoky. 534 00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:07,574 Noisy. 535 00:31:08,158 --> 00:31:09,701 Crowded. 536 00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:12,621 What do you say we go for a walk? 537 00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,164 To my room. 538 00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:15,829 What do you say we run? 539 00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:19,169 What do you say give me 10 minutes? 540 00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:21,129 I'm in room 27. 541 00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:23,433 Do you think you can remember that? 542 00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:26,261 I'll carve it in the back of my hand. 543 00:31:30,022 --> 00:31:31,361 Whew. 544 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,532 I guess this means no bedtime story. 545 00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:43,235 If I'm not back in two hours, 546 00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:44,863 borrow a book. 547 00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:46,362 A book? 548 00:32:04,270 --> 00:32:07,444 [TICKING] 549 00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:14,642 You beautiful bomb. 550 00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,286 It was a night. 551 00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:36,455 A real, wide open night 552 00:32:36,538 --> 00:32:39,676 filled with the stars of a thousand dreams. 553 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,461 It was the kind of night that could only be found 554 00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:46,352 in a place called the West. 555 00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:49,815 Or maybe in a cheap spy novel. 556 00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:53,805 The kind with gorgeous, smooth-skinned women 557 00:32:53,889 --> 00:32:57,852 with accents and .45 caliber lips. 558 00:33:05,284 --> 00:33:06,405 Ouch! 559 00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:11,087 My, how time flies. You dropped this! 560 00:33:12,542 --> 00:33:14,870 Ah! 561 00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:21,625 Are you alright? 562 00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:25,587 I'm gonna... 563 00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:27,714 I'm gonna get... 564 00:33:27,797 --> 00:33:29,424 I'm gonna get... 565 00:33:30,132 --> 00:33:32,434 Ew! 566 00:33:33,303 --> 00:33:35,937 Who's "ew"? 567 00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:54,241 Who is it? 568 00:33:58,684 --> 00:34:00,627 - Hi. - Hi. 569 00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:03,834 Why don't you come on in and shut the door? 570 00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:09,881 Why don't you lock it? 571 00:34:12,602 --> 00:34:13,915 [CLICK] 572 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:17,886 - Why don't you... - I think I can take it from here. 573 00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:26,648 Well... 574 00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,733 Here we are. 575 00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:31,278 All by ourselves. 576 00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:32,862 With the door locked. 577 00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:35,488 And me lying on the bed in a robe. 578 00:34:37,284 --> 00:34:40,705 I like a woman who's not afraid to play hard to get. 579 00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:44,459 I like a man who's not afraid to play hard. 580 00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:50,589 You know something, Bob McGraw? 581 00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:53,967 You look a little warm. 582 00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:57,439 Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? 583 00:34:58,388 --> 00:35:01,365 I didn't bring anything "more comfortable." 584 00:35:02,809 --> 00:35:04,519 Well, how about me? 585 00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:09,660 You talked me into it. 586 00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:19,784 For crying out loud. 587 00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:23,172 This is a race, not a battlefield. 588 00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:27,005 With blatant disregard for rules and regulations, 589 00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:29,794 frivolous misuse of equipment and personnel... 590 00:35:29,878 --> 00:35:32,589 Where did you learn to be a soldier, soldier? 591 00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:34,140 The institute, sir. 592 00:35:34,215 --> 00:35:35,425 Well, I hope, for your sake, 593 00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:37,427 the institute is a lenient one. 594 00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:41,723 Under the circumstances, I have no choice 595 00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:44,787 but to impound your raft and disqualify you. 596 00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:02,289 - Tell me something. - What? 597 00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:06,331 Was that as good for you as it was for me? 598 00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:09,042 No. It was... 599 00:36:10,095 --> 00:36:11,633 - [KNOCKING] - Heather? 600 00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,421 It's Rex! Are you in there? 601 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,715 - Company. How nice. - Heather! 602 00:36:15,799 --> 00:36:18,551 Rex, go away! I have nothing to say to you. 603 00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:21,179 You can just stay right here and just ignore him, okay? 604 00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:23,057 I hate to eat and run, but... 605 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:28,121 Bob, am I ever gonna see you again? 606 00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:30,736 We are going to see each other again. 607 00:36:30,939 --> 00:36:32,524 You wouldn't lie to me? 608 00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:34,943 Of course I'd lie to you, I'm a guy. 609 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:36,903 But I'm not lying now. 610 00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:39,406 You mean it? 611 00:36:39,489 --> 00:36:40,656 Honest. 612 00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:46,871 Hey, guys, 613 00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:49,040 it's a little early for the Easter parade, don't you think? 614 00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:51,336 Look! It's Halley's comet! 615 00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:54,754 Bright, real bright. Bye! 616 00:37:07,567 --> 00:37:09,155 Ah! 617 00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:16,989 Hello, asshole. 618 00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,611 Oops. 619 00:37:18,695 --> 00:37:21,504 Things looked bad for McGraw. He had to think fast. 620 00:37:25,618 --> 00:37:27,078 Get him! 621 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:28,997 Oh, shit! Hold it! 622 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,582 Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Guys, guys... 623 00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:33,209 Now, I know you're wondering why I called you all here tonight, 624 00:37:33,293 --> 00:37:36,228 because I want to talk to you about herpes. 625 00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,808 That's the end of that chapter. 626 00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,229 I don't wanna die tomorrow! 627 00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:56,065 You know I hate water. It ruins a good drink. 628 00:37:56,149 --> 00:37:58,647 Oh, I'm gonna projectile vomit on everyone! 629 00:37:58,902 --> 00:38:00,361 Excuse me. 630 00:38:01,321 --> 00:38:03,127 What am I, a turnstile? 631 00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:05,992 Bay Mist. 632 00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:10,205 No, it's either Misty Crevice or Savage Truth. 633 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:13,462 No, no, Bay Mist, I'm tellin' you. Bay Mist. 634 00:38:14,257 --> 00:38:15,421 Oh! 635 00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:16,978 Bob! 636 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,099 What happened? Are you okay? 637 00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:23,092 Bob, it's us! 638 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:27,555 Oh, boy! Am I glad to see you guys. 639 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:30,308 This is a terrible place to spend the night alone. 640 00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:31,851 Who did it? 641 00:38:32,602 --> 00:38:34,395 They got you, too? 642 00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:35,939 Bob, how many were there? 643 00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:37,941 I didn't get all their names, 644 00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:42,778 but they all wore the same cologne. 645 00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:50,124 You know, this is gonna be a piece of fucking cake. 646 00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:55,291 Good afternoon and welcome to this year's annual collegiate 647 00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,210 White Water Rafting Race. 648 00:38:57,293 --> 00:39:00,839 It's a perfect day for rapid competition. 649 00:39:00,922 --> 00:39:03,716 The temperature is a comfortable 86 degrees, 650 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,886 the water at a refreshing 53 degrees. 651 00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:11,307 With the disqualification of last year's winner, 652 00:39:11,391 --> 00:39:13,560 Washington Military Institute, 653 00:39:13,643 --> 00:39:15,770 we have 13 entries this year. 654 00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:19,440 Good luck to all of our participants! 655 00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:25,488 ♪ It's either lose or win ♪ 656 00:39:25,572 --> 00:39:28,575 ♪ You'll either break or bend ♪ 657 00:39:28,658 --> 00:39:31,327 ♪ Pushing it one more inch ♪ 658 00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:34,747 ♪ You better be steady, boy ♪ 659 00:39:34,831 --> 00:39:37,875 ♪ It's waiting all for you ♪ 660 00:39:37,959 --> 00:39:41,004 ♪ Need to give all you've got ♪ 661 00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,548 ♪ It's time to take your shot ♪ 662 00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:46,885 ♪ You got nothing to lose ♪ 663 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,399 I thought we got rid of him. 664 00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:04,565 Well, he's obviously a slow learner. 665 00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:19,334 Bob, what happened? 666 00:40:19,638 --> 00:40:21,667 Oh, oh! Does it hurt? 667 00:40:21,693 --> 00:40:22,693 Oh, ah ah! 668 00:40:22,837 --> 00:40:25,312 Not so much anymore, now that you're here. 669 00:40:25,344 --> 00:40:26,470 Was it that creep? 670 00:40:26,502 --> 00:40:29,052 Let's just say I slipped on a bar of soap in the shower 671 00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:30,511 as a bus ran out of control 672 00:40:30,595 --> 00:40:32,364 and crashed into the medicine cabinet. 673 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,808 I'm really sorry. Is there anything I can do? 674 00:40:35,892 --> 00:40:38,199 Actually, I made a list, but, uh... 675 00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:41,407 This will have to suffice until the race is over. 676 00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:51,783 Ten minutes! Ten minutes to starting time! 677 00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:54,758 Hey, come on, guys! Where's your spirit? 678 00:40:54,877 --> 00:40:57,921 We oughta give these teams some support! Yea! 679 00:40:59,757 --> 00:41:02,384 Come on, we can't send 'em down the river with nothing. 680 00:41:02,468 --> 00:41:03,802 What do you say? 681 00:41:06,847 --> 00:41:08,830 Now what do you say? 682 00:41:24,531 --> 00:41:26,617 There they are. 683 00:41:27,868 --> 00:41:31,872 All getting ready for the start of their little race. 684 00:41:32,790 --> 00:41:36,585 Does that civilian mashed potato think he can disqualify us? 685 00:41:37,711 --> 00:41:39,463 They'll see. 686 00:41:39,546 --> 00:41:41,507 They'll see! 687 00:41:41,879 --> 00:41:44,635 The race will continue for two days. 688 00:41:45,177 --> 00:41:47,888 Today you will race to this point, Beaver Flats, 689 00:41:47,971 --> 00:41:50,474 where the first five teams will pick up flags. 690 00:41:50,557 --> 00:41:53,310 And only the first five teams to pick up flags 691 00:41:53,393 --> 00:41:55,062 will be in the second day. 692 00:41:55,145 --> 00:41:57,231 And those of you who pick up flags 693 00:41:57,314 --> 00:41:59,274 will then portage to Chicken Falls 694 00:41:59,358 --> 00:42:01,485 where you will spend the night and turn in your flags. 695 00:42:01,568 --> 00:42:04,154 Then tomorrow morning at 10:00, 696 00:42:04,238 --> 00:42:06,573 you will continue the race downriver. 697 00:42:06,865 --> 00:42:10,661 Now, you all come here to represent your colleges and your universities. 698 00:42:10,744 --> 00:42:13,539 You have come here to participate in an annual event 699 00:42:13,622 --> 00:42:18,335 that shows good, healthy American competition is still alive. 700 00:42:20,510 --> 00:42:22,172 And before we start the race, 701 00:42:22,256 --> 00:42:24,299 I'd like to thank you for participating, 702 00:42:24,383 --> 00:42:27,219 wish you good luck, godspeed, 703 00:42:27,302 --> 00:42:28,952 and may the best team win. 704 00:42:34,101 --> 00:42:35,602 There he is. 705 00:42:36,061 --> 00:42:38,313 There he is. 706 00:42:38,814 --> 00:42:42,651 I'm gonna get that son of a bitch if it's the last thing I ever do! 707 00:42:46,238 --> 00:42:49,446 Alright. Rafters, man your paddles! 708 00:42:52,661 --> 00:42:53,811 Ready. 709 00:42:57,374 --> 00:42:58,459 Set. 710 00:42:59,913 --> 00:43:01,042 [GUNSHOT] 711 00:43:01,702 --> 00:43:02,975 [PEW!] 712 00:43:09,011 --> 00:43:11,346 There's the gun, and they're off! 713 00:43:11,430 --> 00:43:14,641 We've got 13 rafts racing for their school's honor. 714 00:43:14,808 --> 00:43:17,561 The rivalry between Arkansas Christian State 715 00:43:17,644 --> 00:43:21,773 and St. Martin's Bible College heats up once again! 716 00:43:27,696 --> 00:43:30,240 And they're hitting the water, folks! 717 00:43:31,241 --> 00:43:34,161 Oh, my, folks, this is bedlam! 718 00:43:36,788 --> 00:43:38,916 The ladies of Iowa A&M... 719 00:43:40,918 --> 00:43:43,086 Uh-oh, what's this? Oh, that's too bad, 720 00:43:43,170 --> 00:43:45,964 looks like one more faulty equipment. 721 00:43:46,465 --> 00:43:50,177 We are now down to nine rafts, just nine! 722 00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:51,803 No, Bob! 723 00:43:54,014 --> 00:43:55,682 Look, guys, please! I don't wanna die! 724 00:43:55,766 --> 00:43:59,019 I'm so young, I've got my looks, I've got my health. 725 00:43:59,102 --> 00:44:01,355 - I've got my whole life ahead of me! - To the water! 726 00:44:01,438 --> 00:44:03,232 I've got too much to live for! 727 00:44:04,483 --> 00:44:05,859 Like what? 728 00:44:05,943 --> 00:44:07,778 Like what? Like what? 729 00:44:07,861 --> 00:44:09,154 Women. 730 00:44:09,238 --> 00:44:12,115 There might be a woman out there who might want to have sex with me. 731 00:44:17,621 --> 00:44:21,416 And that's Ivy U! Yes, Ivy U, this year's favorite. 732 00:44:22,167 --> 00:44:24,503 Three, two, one! 733 00:44:24,725 --> 00:44:26,379 [EXPLOSION] 734 00:44:26,756 --> 00:44:28,665 Oh! Sweet Jesus! 735 00:44:30,342 --> 00:44:32,302 Please don't make me do this. 736 00:44:32,386 --> 00:44:35,347 Don't make me go, alright? I'm gonna die! 737 00:44:35,430 --> 00:44:38,517 I don't wanna die! I wanna live! 738 00:44:43,355 --> 00:44:45,691 Thanks. I needed that. 739 00:44:46,775 --> 00:44:47,901 Shall we go? 740 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:56,243 Get him out of there! 741 00:44:57,661 --> 00:44:58,954 Get in here, Shamu! 742 00:45:44,082 --> 00:45:45,709 Hey, that's good. 743 00:45:46,668 --> 00:45:48,003 Alright. 744 00:45:48,879 --> 00:45:50,547 Give me a hard left. 745 00:45:56,094 --> 00:45:58,722 Their situation seemed utterly hopeless. 746 00:45:58,805 --> 00:46:00,640 And with damn good reason. 747 00:46:15,197 --> 00:46:16,698 Yeah! Alright! 748 00:46:24,873 --> 00:46:26,666 Pull! Pull! 749 00:46:29,586 --> 00:46:30,837 Come on! 750 00:47:06,790 --> 00:47:08,250 This is it, guys. 751 00:47:09,251 --> 00:47:11,920 We can do it, guys, I know we can. I can feel it. 752 00:47:12,003 --> 00:47:14,089 It's just water and rock, that's all! 753 00:47:14,756 --> 00:47:16,633 We'll show this river who's boss! 754 00:47:16,717 --> 00:47:18,343 This river will be ours! 755 00:47:23,432 --> 00:47:25,016 This is not a good sign. 756 00:47:25,100 --> 00:47:26,861 ALL: No. No, no no, no. 757 00:47:28,812 --> 00:47:31,565 Sorry, guys, I guess I got a little carried away. 758 00:47:33,161 --> 00:47:34,482 Oh, my God! 759 00:47:41,450 --> 00:47:42,951 Stop! it! 760 00:47:44,494 --> 00:47:46,788 Oh, my God! 761 00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,783 - That was great! - We did it! 762 00:48:25,285 --> 00:48:27,162 I don't believe it! 763 00:48:27,746 --> 00:48:30,790 Son of a bitch, we did it. And we're still alive! 764 00:48:31,166 --> 00:48:33,376 Un-fucking-believable! 765 00:48:33,460 --> 00:48:36,087 Wasn't bad for a bunch of losers! 766 00:48:36,463 --> 00:48:40,300 Well, you have just made it through the world's most dangerous rapid! 767 00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:42,928 And now, it's beer time! 768 00:48:44,679 --> 00:48:47,390 I risked my life, and you give me light beer? 769 00:48:48,225 --> 00:48:51,061 Lepetomane! Lepetomane! 770 00:48:51,144 --> 00:48:52,562 Lepetomane! 771 00:48:57,275 --> 00:48:58,735 Das raft! 772 00:48:59,069 --> 00:49:01,154 We toast you! 773 00:49:02,656 --> 00:49:04,866 Hey, where've you Nazis been, huh? 774 00:49:04,950 --> 00:49:06,326 Didn't you see us go through those rapids? 775 00:49:06,409 --> 00:49:08,161 You think we're kidding around here? 776 00:49:11,831 --> 00:49:12,958 Hi, boys! 777 00:49:13,041 --> 00:49:15,293 Shoot him, Rex. 778 00:49:15,919 --> 00:49:18,171 I don't like those guys. 779 00:49:19,714 --> 00:49:21,800 I warned you, you bozo! 780 00:49:22,025 --> 00:49:24,840 ALL: Whoa! 781 00:49:26,518 --> 00:49:28,063 Yeah! 782 00:49:28,181 --> 00:49:29,307 What the hell is that? 783 00:49:29,391 --> 00:49:31,643 Oh, they hit us with a little dart. 784 00:49:32,852 --> 00:49:34,646 Good shot, Rex, good shot. 785 00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:37,732 Bob, it's ticking. 786 00:49:43,817 --> 00:49:45,319 Jerks! 787 00:49:46,616 --> 00:49:50,662 Five, four, three, two, one! 788 00:49:55,959 --> 00:49:57,460 Take that, suckers! 789 00:49:58,045 --> 00:49:59,375 Yeah, you moron! 790 00:49:59,796 --> 00:50:02,007 Were those the guys that got you last night? 791 00:50:02,090 --> 00:50:03,300 How could ya tell? 792 00:50:03,383 --> 00:50:05,260 They're all wearing the same cologne. 793 00:50:05,598 --> 00:50:06,631 Scumbag! 794 00:50:07,178 --> 00:50:08,305 Come on, guys, 795 00:50:08,388 --> 00:50:10,140 let's get the hell out of Dodge! 796 00:50:16,563 --> 00:50:19,357 Alright, now get that rock in the sling... 797 00:50:19,441 --> 00:50:20,942 I'm goin' up! 798 00:50:27,866 --> 00:50:29,367 - Push, man! - I'm pushing! 799 00:50:43,673 --> 00:50:44,758 How we doin', guys? 800 00:50:44,841 --> 00:50:45,884 Ready, Bob. 801 00:50:46,009 --> 00:50:47,641 - Okay, let's go. - God, it's empty. 802 00:50:48,637 --> 00:50:51,056 Bob, it's empty. 803 00:50:51,139 --> 00:50:53,475 I gotta have a drink. I don't think I can make it. 804 00:50:53,558 --> 00:50:54,684 You can do it, kid, I know you can. 805 00:50:54,768 --> 00:50:56,269 No, no, no. I don't think I can. 806 00:50:57,354 --> 00:50:59,105 You're not trying. 807 00:51:00,190 --> 00:51:01,691 Lemme give it another shot. 808 00:51:02,609 --> 00:51:03,818 I knew you could do it. 809 00:51:05,695 --> 00:51:06,905 Irwin. 810 00:51:13,790 --> 00:51:15,870 Hey, ooh-ya! 811 00:51:19,167 --> 00:51:21,252 Alright. Left turn! 812 00:51:22,504 --> 00:51:23,588 Forward easy! 813 00:51:35,475 --> 00:51:37,018 - Push, man! - I'm pushing! 814 00:51:38,812 --> 00:51:39,938 Now! 815 00:51:41,064 --> 00:51:42,190 - Now? - Now? 816 00:51:43,448 --> 00:51:44,651 Ah! 817 00:51:50,865 --> 00:51:53,396 Unidentified flying asshole. 818 00:51:54,537 --> 00:51:56,045 ALL: Ew! 819 00:51:57,330 --> 00:51:59,249 - Party time! - Two! Two! 820 00:52:39,873 --> 00:52:41,916 Let's move! 821 00:52:52,469 --> 00:52:53,678 Where's Ivy U? 822 00:52:53,762 --> 00:52:55,513 Who cares, as long as they're not ahead of us! 823 00:52:55,597 --> 00:52:57,015 Let's go! 824 00:52:59,851 --> 00:53:01,144 Grab a flag! 825 00:53:03,396 --> 00:53:04,522 Got a flag! 826 00:53:07,192 --> 00:53:08,401 - Brown. - Sir! 827 00:53:08,526 --> 00:53:09,861 - Johnson. - Sir! 828 00:53:09,944 --> 00:53:11,696 Good job, men, good job! 829 00:53:15,241 --> 00:53:16,534 Whitney. 830 00:53:17,452 --> 00:53:18,703 Soon... 831 00:53:22,165 --> 00:53:23,458 Soon. 832 00:53:41,976 --> 00:53:43,269 Look at that! 833 00:53:43,353 --> 00:53:45,480 Now, that can stop us. 834 00:53:45,855 --> 00:53:47,440 Duck! Duck! 835 00:54:01,955 --> 00:54:04,332 Say your prayers, gentlemen. 836 00:54:08,711 --> 00:54:10,839 Come on, come on! They're gonna get past! 837 00:54:10,922 --> 00:54:12,215 Now! 838 00:54:15,552 --> 00:54:17,011 It's goin' the wrong way! 839 00:54:22,892 --> 00:54:24,936 - Go! Go! - Move it! Move it! 840 00:54:45,957 --> 00:54:49,169 Tonight, we are gonna be in bimbette's heaven! 841 00:54:50,753 --> 00:54:52,338 Good work! 842 00:54:53,047 --> 00:54:54,591 Alright, now, Rocky, 843 00:54:54,674 --> 00:54:56,634 get one flag and lose the other! 844 00:54:56,718 --> 00:54:58,052 Gotcha. 845 00:54:58,928 --> 00:55:00,471 Let's go, man. 846 00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:03,308 - One, two... - Yeah! 847 00:55:06,352 --> 00:55:07,687 Keep it up, guys. 848 00:55:07,770 --> 00:55:09,314 Keep it goin'. 849 00:55:09,689 --> 00:55:11,441 I know it's tough. 850 00:55:11,524 --> 00:55:13,109 And I know that you know it's tough. 851 00:55:13,735 --> 00:55:15,361 But try not to think about it. 852 00:55:15,820 --> 00:55:17,697 Think about those degrees we're gonna get 853 00:55:17,780 --> 00:55:19,699 when we win this race! 854 00:55:19,866 --> 00:55:21,743 Maybe that'll help you forget the pain. 855 00:55:25,663 --> 00:55:28,082 More likely it won't, but give it a shot. 856 00:55:30,376 --> 00:55:32,670 Your bag of goodies was a real bargain, Doctor. 857 00:55:32,754 --> 00:55:33,838 You bet your bottom dollar. 858 00:55:33,922 --> 00:55:35,048 There's only four boats left. 859 00:55:35,131 --> 00:55:38,134 I think we earned that little soiree of yours tonight. 860 00:55:38,301 --> 00:55:40,053 St. Martin's, Sara Teasdale, Texas State, and us. 861 00:55:40,428 --> 00:55:41,721 And Lepetomane. 862 00:55:41,804 --> 00:55:43,264 - Lepetomane? - What? 863 00:55:43,348 --> 00:55:45,725 We took care of those remedials after the first rapids! 864 00:55:45,808 --> 00:55:47,936 Well, whoever "we" is didn't do a very thorough job, 865 00:55:48,019 --> 00:55:49,228 'cause they're still on the river. 866 00:55:49,312 --> 00:55:50,438 - What? - I don't believe it. 867 00:55:50,521 --> 00:55:52,357 I thought we nailed those Twinkies! 868 00:56:00,782 --> 00:56:03,534 Control tower to Ivy, you're cleared for takeoff. 869 00:56:05,995 --> 00:56:07,455 I love it. 870 00:56:12,669 --> 00:56:14,295 I don't like the sound of this. 871 00:56:15,546 --> 00:56:18,424 It's too quiet. 872 00:56:20,260 --> 00:56:22,095 What could it be? 873 00:56:23,513 --> 00:56:24,639 Indians! 874 00:56:24,751 --> 00:56:26,219 [BUZZING] 875 00:56:29,143 --> 00:56:30,687 What the hell is that? 876 00:56:31,354 --> 00:56:32,772 Sounds like big mosquitoes. 877 00:56:38,392 --> 00:56:39,563 Uh-oh. 878 00:56:41,963 --> 00:56:42,997 It's comin' at us! 879 00:56:43,582 --> 00:56:44,891 Get down! 880 00:56:49,437 --> 00:56:50,930 - It's comin' back! - Oh, no. 881 00:56:53,042 --> 00:56:54,585 Bob, get down! 882 00:56:55,858 --> 00:56:57,068 This is dangerous! 883 00:56:59,445 --> 00:57:01,155 How'd you like that, guys? 884 00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,165 This has gone far enough! 885 00:57:11,629 --> 00:57:15,049 He's right! It's gone far enough! 886 00:57:22,265 --> 00:57:24,392 Gonz! Get down! 887 00:57:31,996 --> 00:57:33,610 Abandon ship! 888 00:57:34,235 --> 00:57:36,070 - Get out! Get out! - Not again! 889 00:57:36,946 --> 00:57:38,448 Kamikaze! 890 00:57:45,997 --> 00:57:48,416 Let's see you get out of that one, you dipshit! 891 00:57:48,499 --> 00:57:49,584 Let's get out of here. 892 00:57:49,667 --> 00:57:50,919 Max! 893 00:57:52,503 --> 00:57:53,838 Hey, Max! 894 00:58:00,511 --> 00:58:02,180 I want the blond! 895 00:58:02,263 --> 00:58:03,890 - You putz! - Are those real breasts? 896 00:58:08,228 --> 00:58:09,896 I want leverage! 897 00:58:10,021 --> 00:58:14,484 Him, his doggie, one of his men, anyone! 898 00:58:15,068 --> 00:58:17,293 Reconnoiter 0600 sharp! 899 00:58:19,572 --> 00:58:21,824 Come back with a prisoner, 900 00:58:23,034 --> 00:58:24,980 or don't come back! 901 00:58:25,301 --> 00:58:26,383 Yes, sir! 902 00:58:27,622 --> 00:58:29,082 Hey, it's Chuck! 903 00:58:29,165 --> 00:58:31,459 Wow, he's got the last flag! 904 00:58:33,934 --> 00:58:35,215 [MOANS] 905 00:58:36,005 --> 00:58:37,806 What is this? An attitude? 906 00:58:37,825 --> 00:58:38,825 [BARK] 907 00:58:39,258 --> 00:58:40,760 I'm sorry if we were a little bit late, 908 00:58:40,843 --> 00:58:42,762 we had a few problems. 909 00:58:42,971 --> 00:58:45,390 We weren't out on the town like someone I could mention. 910 00:58:45,473 --> 00:58:48,101 - Chuck, he was mugged last night! - Let him be! 911 00:58:48,184 --> 00:58:49,894 If he wants to be a complete jerk, let him. 912 00:58:50,061 --> 00:58:51,854 I don't think we need to explain to him that somebody 913 00:58:51,938 --> 00:58:55,400 tried to destroy our raft, knock us out of the race. 914 00:58:55,483 --> 00:58:57,402 No, if he's gonna get his nose bent out of shape 915 00:58:57,485 --> 00:58:59,237 over a little lost time, 916 00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,038 I'd rather not talk to him, either. You're a dog. 917 00:59:02,314 --> 00:59:03,810 - [BARK] - Grab the raft. 918 00:59:03,837 --> 00:59:05,301 [CHUCK WHINING] 919 00:59:07,327 --> 00:59:08,327 Look... 920 00:59:08,413 --> 00:59:11,089 I suppose it doesn't make any difference that they beat up Bob? 921 00:59:11,916 --> 00:59:15,211 That's right. Pipes, bottles, chains, hitting, pain... 922 00:59:15,295 --> 00:59:17,422 There were 10 of 'em. Ten big ones. 923 00:59:17,797 --> 00:59:19,185 - Maybe eleven. - [WOOF] 924 00:59:19,257 --> 00:59:22,051 Oh, and you should've heard the names they called him. 925 00:59:23,445 --> 00:59:24,851 [BARKING] 926 00:59:24,887 --> 00:59:26,444 Sensitive dog. 927 00:59:28,016 --> 00:59:32,311 Yes, okay, okay, I forgive you. 928 00:59:32,395 --> 00:59:34,564 I know you were playing hard to get. 929 00:59:35,481 --> 00:59:37,400 Chuck, what is it? 930 00:59:37,483 --> 00:59:38,609 I smell it, too. 931 00:59:38,693 --> 00:59:40,361 It smells like... 932 00:59:40,486 --> 00:59:41,779 Cologne. 933 00:59:45,408 --> 00:59:49,120 Suddenly he knew what the night held in store for them. 934 00:59:50,204 --> 00:59:52,332 And he liked the smell of it. 935 00:59:56,586 --> 00:59:58,087 Are you okay? 936 00:59:59,672 --> 01:00:01,466 You know something? 937 01:00:01,841 --> 01:00:05,486 I really thought that McGraw had a chance. 938 01:00:05,970 --> 01:00:07,055 I mean, however slim, 939 01:00:07,138 --> 01:00:09,277 I really thought that he might make it. 940 01:00:09,891 --> 01:00:11,601 I would have liked to have seen him again. 941 01:00:11,684 --> 01:00:13,394 "Seen," young lady? 942 01:00:13,478 --> 01:00:14,812 For starters. 943 01:00:14,896 --> 01:00:17,285 You mean to tell me you're not coming? 944 01:00:17,774 --> 01:00:18,816 No. 945 01:00:18,900 --> 01:00:20,651 Okey-dokey, honey. See ya later. 946 01:00:21,402 --> 01:00:23,809 - Happy trails. - Bye-bye, hon. 947 01:00:38,836 --> 01:00:40,671 Revenge is a dish best eaten cold 948 01:00:40,755 --> 01:00:42,590 and with your hands. 949 01:00:51,641 --> 01:00:54,102 It's a little early for Christmas, isn't it? 950 01:01:07,741 --> 01:01:09,423 Just breathe. 951 01:01:19,147 --> 01:01:21,508 [LAUGHING] 952 01:01:23,256 --> 01:01:24,549 Tomorrow should be a breeze. 953 01:01:24,632 --> 01:01:26,551 By the time you cross that finish line, 954 01:01:26,634 --> 01:01:29,887 I'm betting that yours is the only raft on the river. 955 01:01:52,285 --> 01:01:54,245 Let's have some more champagne! 956 01:02:06,382 --> 01:02:07,675 Waiter! 957 01:02:08,890 --> 01:02:11,179 [GONZER IMITATES FEMALE VOICE] 958 01:02:23,900 --> 01:02:25,610 Wait a minute, I know that dog! 959 01:02:27,111 --> 01:02:28,779 I know that dog! 960 01:02:29,405 --> 01:02:31,115 Hey, what's going on? 961 01:02:31,866 --> 01:02:32,909 Wait a minute! 962 01:02:47,548 --> 01:02:48,925 Well, well, what is this? 963 01:02:49,008 --> 01:02:50,927 A meeting of the assholes of America? 964 01:02:51,093 --> 01:02:52,386 Look who's here. 965 01:02:52,470 --> 01:02:53,721 We missed you guys! 966 01:02:53,804 --> 01:02:55,389 We didn't miss you, you jerk. 967 01:02:55,473 --> 01:02:57,600 Hurry up, put that on! I haven't got all night! 968 01:02:57,683 --> 01:02:58,935 You asshole! 969 01:02:59,018 --> 01:03:00,645 Oh, excuse me. 970 01:03:15,329 --> 01:03:16,556 Excusez-moi. 971 01:03:19,330 --> 01:03:21,457 You wouldn't hit a lady, would you? 972 01:03:29,423 --> 01:03:30,466 Mocha. 973 01:03:36,145 --> 01:03:37,190 Ta-da! 974 01:03:37,765 --> 01:03:40,309 No, no, no, no! No. No. 975 01:03:42,353 --> 01:03:43,646 Get out, come on. 976 01:03:45,731 --> 01:03:47,441 Now I got you, you bastard. 977 01:03:49,485 --> 01:03:51,862 It's so much better this way. 978 01:03:54,865 --> 01:03:56,242 So much for the piano. 979 01:03:59,620 --> 01:04:01,289 Bob. The tub. 980 01:04:03,708 --> 01:04:04,834 Bye. 981 01:04:05,293 --> 01:04:06,836 Table for one. 982 01:04:21,559 --> 01:04:23,102 You incompetent twits! 983 01:04:25,062 --> 01:04:26,981 Let's get outta here! 984 01:04:45,041 --> 01:04:46,917 There you are. 985 01:04:47,293 --> 01:04:50,963 Bob! Where have you been? What's going on around here? 986 01:04:51,047 --> 01:04:53,257 It's such a long story. 987 01:04:54,425 --> 01:04:57,136 Gosh, is there someplace that we can talk? 988 01:04:57,571 --> 01:04:58,749 Uh-uh. 989 01:05:00,264 --> 01:05:04,143 Well, is there someplace that we can pet heavily? 990 01:05:10,721 --> 01:05:11,986 They screwed up our raft! 991 01:05:12,025 --> 01:05:13,246 We're out of the race! 992 01:05:14,737 --> 01:05:16,072 Terrific! 993 01:05:16,530 --> 01:05:17,615 Look at that! 994 01:05:19,742 --> 01:05:21,827 Wait! What... 995 01:05:31,796 --> 01:05:33,381 Now, tell me, 996 01:05:34,548 --> 01:05:38,713 was it as good for you as it was for me that time? 997 01:05:40,221 --> 01:05:41,616 Not exactly. 998 01:05:42,390 --> 01:05:44,809 Bob! Irwin's gone, we can't find him anywhere. 999 01:05:44,892 --> 01:05:46,769 I think something happened to him. 1000 01:05:47,269 --> 01:05:48,854 Did I interrupt anything? 1001 01:05:51,190 --> 01:05:52,483 Not exactly. 1002 01:05:52,566 --> 01:05:54,360 Look, I'll meet you at the raft. 1003 01:05:54,443 --> 01:05:55,945 Oh, Max, this is Heather. Heather, this Max. 1004 01:05:56,028 --> 01:05:57,113 - Hi. - Hi. 1005 01:05:58,531 --> 01:05:59,824 Pleasure to meet you. 1006 01:06:00,699 --> 01:06:01,833 Do you need any help? 1007 01:06:02,326 --> 01:06:04,912 No, thanks. I've been dressing myself for years. 1008 01:06:04,995 --> 01:06:06,555 But I appreciate the offer. 1009 01:06:11,377 --> 01:06:12,711 When this is over 1010 01:06:12,795 --> 01:06:14,964 and somebody's won this damn thing, 1011 01:06:15,047 --> 01:06:17,321 I'd like to think I could jump on you again sometime. 1012 01:06:28,561 --> 01:06:30,941 Disqualify me, will they? 1013 01:06:31,188 --> 01:06:35,052 Well, now I've got them right where I want them! 1014 01:06:35,985 --> 01:06:39,154 You thought the disguise would fool me? 1015 01:06:40,739 --> 01:06:43,457 They can't beat me. No! 1016 01:06:43,784 --> 01:06:46,495 Because I'm the cream of the military crop, 1017 01:06:46,579 --> 01:06:49,025 and I have a hostage. 1018 01:06:49,749 --> 01:06:53,223 A living, human hostage! 1019 01:06:53,961 --> 01:06:55,713 I can't find Irwin anywhere. 1020 01:06:55,963 --> 01:06:57,214 Poor little guy. 1021 01:06:57,298 --> 01:06:59,049 Hey, Gonz, don't you worry. 1022 01:06:59,133 --> 01:07:01,427 We're gonna find Irwin if it takes a hundred years. 1023 01:07:01,510 --> 01:07:03,826 Hey, Bob. He'll be dead by then. 1024 01:07:04,430 --> 01:07:05,848 - Good point. - Thanks. 1025 01:07:06,891 --> 01:07:08,017 Wait a minute. 1026 01:07:08,100 --> 01:07:10,467 Wait a minute! What about Chuck? 1027 01:07:11,047 --> 01:07:12,491 [WHINES] 1028 01:07:13,606 --> 01:07:14,648 Come on, Chuck. 1029 01:07:14,732 --> 01:07:17,151 I know you're tired, but we need your help. 1030 01:07:17,234 --> 01:07:19,904 We've got to find Irwin before it's too late! 1031 01:07:19,987 --> 01:07:21,906 We'll take the water, you take the land. Whaddya say? 1032 01:07:21,989 --> 01:07:23,073 Come on, Chuck, you remember Irwin. 1033 01:07:23,157 --> 01:07:25,441 He's got glasses, he's skinny, he drinks a lot. 1034 01:07:25,562 --> 01:07:27,303 [GRUMBLING] 1035 01:07:27,661 --> 01:07:30,389 Here, Chuck, here. Try this. 1036 01:07:30,956 --> 01:07:32,833 You remember him now, don't you, Chuck? 1037 01:07:33,018 --> 01:07:34,465 [LIGHT GROWL] 1038 01:07:34,793 --> 01:07:36,837 Alright. Alright, Chuck, 1039 01:07:36,921 --> 01:07:39,173 there's a new collar in it for you, huh? 1040 01:07:39,256 --> 01:07:40,819 Does that jar your memory? 1041 01:07:41,029 --> 01:07:42,310 [SNORE] 1042 01:07:42,384 --> 01:07:43,802 Okay, okay. 1043 01:07:44,345 --> 01:07:47,365 No more plain-wrap dog food. Does that ring any bells for you? 1044 01:07:47,557 --> 01:07:48,992 [WHINES] 1045 01:07:49,058 --> 01:07:52,577 I'll put you up for stud. But that's it, take it or leave it. 1046 01:07:58,940 --> 01:08:01,237 Boy, what's the world coming to 1047 01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:03,447 when you have to bribe your own dog? 1048 01:08:03,531 --> 01:08:04,865 The dog's a whore, Bob. 1049 01:08:04,949 --> 01:08:06,596 I trained him well. 1050 01:08:09,036 --> 01:08:11,664 Nobody does that to Ivy! 1051 01:08:11,747 --> 01:08:15,376 Guys, we got a race to win here, act like adults. 1052 01:08:15,626 --> 01:08:17,753 I'm gonna get that weenie! 1053 01:08:17,878 --> 01:08:19,755 We're gonna get that weenie! 1054 01:08:19,839 --> 01:08:21,465 We're gonna win this race! 1055 01:08:21,590 --> 01:08:24,260 Geez, Rex, too much caffeine making you tense? 1056 01:08:25,094 --> 01:08:27,846 After last night, you wanna go again, huh? 1057 01:08:27,930 --> 01:08:29,890 - That's right. - You must've liked it, huh? 1058 01:08:29,974 --> 01:08:31,100 I'm ready and willing. 1059 01:08:31,183 --> 01:08:33,561 - I'm always able. - Alright! Nice! 1060 01:08:33,644 --> 01:08:35,563 Left turn, men, we've got company! 1061 01:08:35,646 --> 01:08:36,772 What? 1062 01:08:36,992 --> 01:08:38,562 - What the fuck? - It's the bitches! 1063 01:08:38,594 --> 01:08:40,344 - Look who's with us. - Whew! 1064 01:08:40,818 --> 01:08:42,691 Check it out. 1065 01:08:42,987 --> 01:08:44,738 - Hey. - The bleach boys. 1066 01:08:44,822 --> 01:08:47,074 Good afternoon, ladies! 1067 01:08:47,366 --> 01:08:49,410 Alright, guys, listen. 1068 01:08:49,535 --> 01:08:50,995 We're gonna beat 'em, and we're gonna win, 1069 01:08:51,078 --> 01:08:53,038 and let's go into a hard forward. 1070 01:08:54,456 --> 01:08:56,667 The instrument, maestro, if you will. 1071 01:08:56,876 --> 01:08:58,836 See ya, ladies! 1072 01:09:00,087 --> 01:09:01,839 They'll like this, won't they? 1073 01:09:01,922 --> 01:09:04,008 - What's that? - What the hell is that? 1074 01:09:04,091 --> 01:09:05,576 Alright, sweetheart. 1075 01:09:09,054 --> 01:09:10,723 - It's a torpedo. - Oh, shit! 1076 01:09:10,823 --> 01:09:12,496 We've got to get out of here! 1077 01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:20,107 Good shot, Rex, good shot! 1078 01:09:20,858 --> 01:09:23,258 You jerk! You asshole! 1079 01:09:23,619 --> 01:09:26,333 [ALL JEERING] 1080 01:09:27,489 --> 01:09:28,532 Adios, ladies! 1081 01:09:31,201 --> 01:09:34,455 We got those morons. So let's go get Lepetomane! 1082 01:09:35,706 --> 01:09:37,777 Well done, soldiers, well done! 1083 01:09:38,847 --> 01:09:40,606 Ah! Ew! Oh! 1084 01:09:41,462 --> 01:09:43,422 From here, we take the island. 1085 01:09:43,505 --> 01:09:45,257 We beach the craft in the south, 1086 01:09:45,341 --> 01:09:47,384 then move to a high point above. 1087 01:09:47,468 --> 01:09:51,960 Then, we hang the bait, and wait! 1088 01:09:52,473 --> 01:09:54,164 Now move out! 1089 01:09:56,852 --> 01:09:59,271 Stroke! Stroke! 1090 01:10:00,147 --> 01:10:01,398 Stroke! 1091 01:10:01,815 --> 01:10:03,233 Stroke! 1092 01:10:06,612 --> 01:10:07,988 Johnson, 1093 01:10:08,322 --> 01:10:09,948 ready the jet. 1094 01:10:10,532 --> 01:10:11,950 Yes sir. 1095 01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:16,705 Brown, ready the wireless control system. 1096 01:10:16,997 --> 01:10:18,040 Yes, sir. 1097 01:10:22,044 --> 01:10:24,220 It's those G.I. Joe guys! 1098 01:10:25,881 --> 01:10:27,346 - Where? - There. 1099 01:10:32,096 --> 01:10:33,639 Get back in your pouch! 1100 01:10:34,181 --> 01:10:36,850 They got Irwin! In a wet bag! 1101 01:10:38,769 --> 01:10:40,104 Come on! 1102 01:10:41,188 --> 01:10:42,982 It's toboggan time! 1103 01:10:43,148 --> 01:10:46,235 Wait a minute, Bob! Are you sure that's a good idea? 1104 01:10:46,318 --> 01:10:48,278 Nah, but at this point it's beside the point. 1105 01:10:48,362 --> 01:10:49,947 Oh, boy. 1106 01:10:50,364 --> 01:10:52,658 Forward easy. 1107 01:10:55,869 --> 01:10:57,204 Bob! No! 1108 01:10:59,665 --> 01:11:00,958 - Too fast! Too fast! - Shit! 1109 01:11:01,041 --> 01:11:05,212 No! 1110 01:11:08,757 --> 01:11:11,051 We're gonna get wet again! 1111 01:11:18,434 --> 01:11:20,018 Nice shot, Bob. 1112 01:11:20,102 --> 01:11:21,729 Come on! Irwin's gettin' away! 1113 01:11:24,481 --> 01:11:27,026 Alright, so I miscalculated. What are you gonna do, fire me? 1114 01:11:27,234 --> 01:11:28,986 I'll think about it. 1115 01:11:30,112 --> 01:11:31,572 Stroke! 1116 01:11:31,697 --> 01:11:32,948 Stroke! 1117 01:11:33,282 --> 01:11:34,324 Stroke! 1118 01:11:34,742 --> 01:11:35,909 - Stroke! - Sir! 1119 01:11:37,327 --> 01:11:39,121 The island's just up ahead, sir! 1120 01:11:39,705 --> 01:11:41,707 Good. Good. 1121 01:11:41,790 --> 01:11:44,042 I'm ready with the jet, sir. 1122 01:11:44,126 --> 01:11:47,212 Ready with the wireless control system, sir. 1123 01:11:50,049 --> 01:11:51,216 Now! 1124 01:11:59,509 --> 01:12:00,509 Hold on! 1125 01:12:01,970 --> 01:12:03,376 Guys! Guys! 1126 01:12:05,481 --> 01:12:08,450 Victory! We are men! 1127 01:12:45,104 --> 01:12:46,772 Alright, meatheads! 1128 01:12:46,855 --> 01:12:49,191 What are you sittin' around for? This is no picnic! 1129 01:12:49,274 --> 01:12:50,818 Captain, we can't win. 1130 01:12:50,901 --> 01:12:52,884 We were disqualified yesterday. 1131 01:12:53,028 --> 01:12:55,531 Disqualified? We're not disqualified! 1132 01:12:55,614 --> 01:12:58,175 Not till I say we're disqualified! 1133 01:12:58,826 --> 01:13:01,745 It takes a river to win this war. 1134 01:13:03,163 --> 01:13:05,582 And there can't be a winner, 1135 01:13:05,666 --> 01:13:08,139 if there isn't a river! 1136 01:13:08,335 --> 01:13:09,461 Sir? 1137 01:13:10,420 --> 01:13:14,091 We're gonna blow the mother up! 1138 01:13:26,770 --> 01:13:28,397 Alright! 1139 01:13:28,480 --> 01:13:29,773 Women! 1140 01:13:34,361 --> 01:13:36,124 What is she doing out there? 1141 01:13:36,321 --> 01:13:37,906 Getting tan. 1142 01:13:38,615 --> 01:13:39,922 Forward easy. 1143 01:13:44,705 --> 01:13:46,892 - Alright? - I'm fine. 1144 01:13:47,916 --> 01:13:49,668 Let me guess what happened. 1145 01:13:50,544 --> 01:13:51,837 That good old Ivy U. 1146 01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:54,434 You didn't have to tell me, I woulda caught it. 1147 01:13:59,177 --> 01:14:01,388 Those guys almost killed us. 1148 01:14:01,722 --> 01:14:04,391 He's beginning to get a little nervy. 1149 01:14:04,474 --> 01:14:07,705 The thought of them winning this race really makes me sick. 1150 01:14:08,812 --> 01:14:10,564 It isn't over yet. 1151 01:14:10,981 --> 01:14:12,465 Well, what are we waiting for? 1152 01:14:13,817 --> 01:14:15,986 Just a few indecent thoughts. 1153 01:14:19,948 --> 01:14:21,867 Okay, I'm ready now. 1154 01:14:21,950 --> 01:14:24,995 First, we get Irwin. Then we get the trophy! 1155 01:14:25,078 --> 01:14:27,789 Hey, you guys! I'll see you later, okay? 1156 01:14:27,873 --> 01:14:30,301 Revenge! Revenge! Get 'em! 1157 01:14:32,169 --> 01:14:33,295 Forward easy! 1158 01:14:36,298 --> 01:14:39,974 Soon the river will go ka-boom! 1159 01:14:42,387 --> 01:14:45,390 A commander couldn't ask for better soldiers. 1160 01:14:57,694 --> 01:14:58,946 Well, 1161 01:14:59,571 --> 01:15:01,156 while we're waiting for your captain 1162 01:15:01,240 --> 01:15:03,116 to come to your rescue, 1163 01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:05,285 maybe I should warm up on you a little. 1164 01:15:05,369 --> 01:15:07,037 No? Alright. 1165 01:15:08,789 --> 01:15:11,792 How about the old bamboo under the fingernails? 1166 01:15:12,626 --> 01:15:15,295 It's a personal favorite of mine, 1167 01:15:15,379 --> 01:15:17,631 and a nice way to loosen up, too, 1168 01:15:17,714 --> 01:15:19,675 you little schmo! 1169 01:15:24,721 --> 01:15:25,806 No! 1170 01:15:44,992 --> 01:15:48,245 Chuck, puppy! Am I glad to see you! Where the hell you been? 1171 01:15:48,412 --> 01:15:50,747 Chuck, we're in some kind of trouble, okay? 1172 01:15:50,831 --> 01:15:52,416 The guys are heading right in for a trap, 1173 01:15:52,499 --> 01:15:53,583 we gotta warn 'em, alright? 1174 01:15:53,667 --> 01:15:55,508 So get me outta here. Come on. Get me out. 1175 01:15:56,003 --> 01:15:57,838 What are you doing? No, Chuck! 1176 01:15:59,214 --> 01:16:01,508 No, don't do... Where are you going with those? 1177 01:16:01,591 --> 01:16:03,176 Don't leave me! 1178 01:16:03,510 --> 01:16:05,345 Chuck... What's that? 1179 01:16:05,595 --> 01:16:07,764 What are you doing? Don't put that on there! 1180 01:16:09,057 --> 01:16:10,600 Chuck! Where you going? 1181 01:16:11,393 --> 01:16:13,812 No! No, Chuck, no! 1182 01:16:14,187 --> 01:16:16,481 Chuck, no! Chuck... I can't... Not like... 1183 01:16:16,565 --> 01:16:18,317 This is not good, Chuck! 1184 01:16:18,400 --> 01:16:20,742 Oh, God, I'm so depressed! 1185 01:16:31,815 --> 01:16:34,560 [SNIFFING] 1186 01:16:39,629 --> 01:16:40,922 Irwin... 1187 01:16:42,424 --> 01:16:43,884 Irwin... 1188 01:16:45,594 --> 01:16:47,054 Irwin... 1189 01:16:47,971 --> 01:16:49,306 Irwin. 1190 01:16:49,639 --> 01:16:51,016 Irwin! 1191 01:16:51,641 --> 01:16:53,018 Irwin! 1192 01:16:53,351 --> 01:16:56,688 Irwin! Irwin! 1193 01:16:56,772 --> 01:16:57,981 Irwin! 1194 01:16:58,231 --> 01:17:01,485 Irwin! Irwin! Irwin! 1195 01:17:01,568 --> 01:17:03,153 What the hell? 1196 01:17:03,487 --> 01:17:05,155 Let's wait here. 1197 01:17:05,447 --> 01:17:07,199 Irwin! Irwin! Irwin! 1198 01:17:07,282 --> 01:17:09,659 Irwin! Irwin! Irwin! 1199 01:17:13,497 --> 01:17:15,165 Hey, it's Chuck! 1200 01:17:15,248 --> 01:17:16,750 Hey! Chucker! 1201 01:17:22,214 --> 01:17:24,132 Bob, it looks like he's been drinkin' again. 1202 01:17:24,216 --> 01:17:25,634 No, not drinking. 1203 01:17:25,717 --> 01:17:28,261 Look! In his mouth! It's Irwin's underwear. 1204 01:17:28,345 --> 01:17:29,888 No wonder he's acting like that. 1205 01:17:32,599 --> 01:17:34,423 That can only mean one thing! 1206 01:17:35,143 --> 01:17:36,744 Irwin's naked. 1207 01:17:37,604 --> 01:17:38,647 Right! 1208 01:17:38,730 --> 01:17:40,732 And Chuck knows where he is! 1209 01:17:40,816 --> 01:17:42,150 Let's go! 1210 01:17:43,527 --> 01:17:45,946 Left turn! Forward easy! 1211 01:17:46,279 --> 01:17:49,211 They're quitting! They've given up! 1212 01:17:50,075 --> 01:17:52,224 I knew they didn't have what it takes! 1213 01:17:53,745 --> 01:17:56,873 Hey! That's Lepetomane U for ya, you degenerates! 1214 01:17:56,998 --> 01:17:59,189 Good old Lobotomy U! 1215 01:18:00,335 --> 01:18:02,379 Let's move out of here. 1216 01:18:02,838 --> 01:18:06,091 Let's just kick back and coast, because the trophy is ours! 1217 01:18:07,467 --> 01:18:08,817 Scumbags! 1218 01:18:09,928 --> 01:18:11,346 Hey, Chuck! 1219 01:18:12,430 --> 01:18:16,059 It's good to see you, too, but first things first, huh? 1220 01:18:16,393 --> 01:18:18,979 Now, where is he? Where's Irwin, Chuck? 1221 01:18:19,385 --> 01:18:20,779 [MOANING] 1222 01:18:20,939 --> 01:18:23,108 Oh, my God! They killed him! 1223 01:18:23,275 --> 01:18:26,319 No, they haven't killed him, but he's... He's... 1224 01:18:27,237 --> 01:18:28,905 He's lying on the ground somewhere! 1225 01:18:28,989 --> 01:18:30,115 Right, Chuck? 1226 01:18:30,198 --> 01:18:32,784 No, on the nose! 1227 01:18:32,868 --> 01:18:35,370 But where is Irwin now, Chuck? Where is he now? 1228 01:18:42,502 --> 01:18:44,504 He's trying to get into the wet bag. 1229 01:18:44,671 --> 01:18:48,133 - Wet bag, dirtbag, douchebag... - Bag lady? 1230 01:18:51,761 --> 01:18:53,513 He's got a bone... 1231 01:18:53,763 --> 01:18:55,182 Oh, my God! 1232 01:18:55,307 --> 01:18:57,119 They cut him into steaks! 1233 01:19:00,145 --> 01:19:02,689 They haven't cut him into steaks, they've, uh, uh... 1234 01:19:02,772 --> 01:19:05,650 They staked him to the ground! 1235 01:19:05,734 --> 01:19:08,487 Where is he, Chuck? Where is Irwin now? 1236 01:19:09,321 --> 01:19:10,822 Chuck, that's my jacket! 1237 01:19:10,906 --> 01:19:13,098 He's trying to tell us something! 1238 01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:17,237 They plucked him! 1239 01:19:21,291 --> 01:19:22,501 I'm trying. 1240 01:19:22,584 --> 01:19:25,545 They haven't plucked him, it's something to do with... 1241 01:19:25,629 --> 01:19:26,838 Feathers! Feathers! 1242 01:19:26,922 --> 01:19:29,680 No, those aren't feathers! That's down! 1243 01:19:29,841 --> 01:19:31,885 Down! Down! Alright! 1244 01:19:32,093 --> 01:19:34,638 Down something. They've got Irwin down something. 1245 01:19:34,721 --> 01:19:36,890 Come on, Chuck, where? Give us another clue, quick! 1246 01:19:36,973 --> 01:19:38,200 Chuck, how many syllables? 1247 01:19:38,239 --> 01:19:39,293 [BARK, BARK] 1248 01:19:39,351 --> 01:19:41,767 - Two! - Two syllables! 1249 01:19:44,689 --> 01:19:47,928 God! They cut out his liver! 1250 01:19:50,403 --> 01:19:53,198 Down... Down... Down liver... Uh... 1251 01:19:53,949 --> 01:19:55,245 I've got it! I've got it! 1252 01:19:55,295 --> 01:19:56,295 ALL: What? 1253 01:19:56,339 --> 01:19:59,376 "Down liver," that's Japanese for "downriver"! 1254 01:20:04,167 --> 01:20:05,418 Alright, Chuck! 1255 01:20:07,420 --> 01:20:08,630 Those were great clues. 1256 01:20:08,713 --> 01:20:10,257 I thought they were kinda hard. 1257 01:20:12,663 --> 01:20:13,689 [WHISTLES] 1258 01:20:17,180 --> 01:20:20,308 My sweet boom-boom maker. 1259 01:20:30,944 --> 01:20:32,696 Where's your doggie? 1260 01:20:32,779 --> 01:20:34,155 Look, I think there's been some mistake. 1261 01:20:34,239 --> 01:20:36,283 Where's your underwear? 1262 01:20:36,366 --> 01:20:38,326 I don't know. The dog ran off... 1263 01:20:38,410 --> 01:20:39,953 Don't wanna cooperate, huh? 1264 01:20:40,032 --> 01:20:41,561 [STAMMERING] 1265 01:20:41,830 --> 01:20:43,415 That's okay. 1266 01:20:44,124 --> 01:20:46,595 Your time is up anyway. 1267 01:20:48,086 --> 01:20:49,796 Say your prayers, 1268 01:20:49,921 --> 01:20:53,517 you pinko commie slime! 1269 01:20:54,426 --> 01:20:55,635 Slime? 1270 01:20:56,428 --> 01:20:58,711 No shooting with the gun, please! 1271 01:20:58,972 --> 01:21:01,119 Oh, look, if we can talk about this... 1272 01:21:06,896 --> 01:21:09,080 Oh, hi, guys. Glad you could stop by. 1273 01:21:11,109 --> 01:21:12,819 Well, well, well. 1274 01:21:13,528 --> 01:21:15,987 You finally decided to show your face, eh? 1275 01:21:16,034 --> 01:21:17,034 M-hm. 1276 01:21:17,365 --> 01:21:19,200 Well, you walked right into my little trap, 1277 01:21:19,284 --> 01:21:21,917 and you'll never get out alive. 1278 01:21:26,330 --> 01:21:27,518 Uh-oh! 1279 01:21:29,586 --> 01:21:31,046 Be my guest. 1280 01:21:35,550 --> 01:21:37,093 Take my money! Anything you want! No, anything! 1281 01:21:37,177 --> 01:21:39,638 Go ahead, just ask me, I'll tell you anything! Anything! 1282 01:21:39,971 --> 01:21:41,639 I'd like to know what he did with my pants. 1283 01:21:46,936 --> 01:21:48,980 Good for you. Son of a bitch. 1284 01:21:50,357 --> 01:21:51,566 Irwin! 1285 01:21:52,067 --> 01:21:54,090 Just in time to turn me over. 1286 01:21:56,196 --> 01:21:58,865 What's he doing? He should be here by now! 1287 01:22:00,075 --> 01:22:01,284 Johnson, 1288 01:22:01,368 --> 01:22:02,827 go get Captain Braverman. 1289 01:22:02,911 --> 01:22:05,413 You go get him. I don't miss him. 1290 01:22:05,538 --> 01:22:07,665 Johnson, you see this? You know what this means? 1291 01:22:07,749 --> 01:22:09,559 Hey, you see this, sparky? 1292 01:22:09,593 --> 01:22:12,310 [IMITATES COUNTRY TWANG] You know what this means, huh? 1293 01:22:14,506 --> 01:22:16,091 What do you got there, Chuck? 1294 01:22:16,174 --> 01:22:17,634 What is that? 1295 01:22:17,717 --> 01:22:20,449 Oh, laughing gas. 1296 01:22:22,110 --> 01:22:24,608 ALL: Whoa! 1297 01:22:29,270 --> 01:22:31,722 Men? Men! 1298 01:22:34,109 --> 01:22:35,985 The enemy is upon us! 1299 01:22:37,278 --> 01:22:38,655 Charge! 1300 01:22:40,615 --> 01:22:41,783 Gosh, is he dead? 1301 01:22:41,866 --> 01:22:43,868 I sure as hell hope so. 1302 01:22:50,452 --> 01:22:53,319 [COUGHING AND LAUGHING] 1303 01:23:03,888 --> 01:23:05,265 That one, right there! 1304 01:23:05,348 --> 01:23:07,235 You get him, we'll take the others. 1305 01:23:14,184 --> 01:23:16,747 [PUNCHING SOUNDS] 1306 01:23:18,319 --> 01:23:21,573 There's nothing like the peace and quiet of the wilderness. 1307 01:23:21,656 --> 01:23:22,741 Shall we go? 1308 01:23:22,824 --> 01:23:24,295 - I think we should. - Absolutely. 1309 01:23:26,536 --> 01:23:28,216 Hey, guys, where you been? 1310 01:23:28,329 --> 01:23:29,914 Taking care of a little unfinished business. 1311 01:23:29,998 --> 01:23:31,332 You know, returning a favor. 1312 01:23:31,416 --> 01:23:33,376 Irwin, you look good! 1313 01:23:33,460 --> 01:23:35,471 I feel good. Can't complain. 1314 01:23:35,795 --> 01:23:37,380 Guys, guys... 1315 01:23:37,464 --> 01:23:38,882 Enough of this hearts and flowers stuff. 1316 01:23:38,965 --> 01:23:41,987 What do you say we win this race for us? 1317 01:23:45,346 --> 01:23:48,016 No, no. You dickhead. 1318 01:23:48,099 --> 01:23:51,519 You weren't supposed to get it engraved until after they cross the finish line. 1319 01:23:51,603 --> 01:23:52,687 Now hide it. 1320 01:23:57,984 --> 01:23:59,828 Five minutes, ladies and gentlemen. 1321 01:24:00,987 --> 01:24:04,263 Five minutes and counting. Any bets? 1322 01:24:09,078 --> 01:24:10,455 Keep it steady. 1323 01:24:10,538 --> 01:24:11,915 That's it. 1324 01:24:13,124 --> 01:24:16,294 You know, guys, I can see it all now. 1325 01:24:16,544 --> 01:24:17,921 All of us being carried around the square 1326 01:24:18,004 --> 01:24:19,964 on the shoulders of cheering hordes. 1327 01:24:20,048 --> 01:24:23,801 Co-eds beating down our doors, chaining themselves to our beds. 1328 01:24:25,094 --> 01:24:27,388 We're gonna get laid for six months off this one. 1329 01:24:27,680 --> 01:24:30,916 Are you kidding? We're gonna be inducted into the stud hall of fame. 1330 01:24:31,184 --> 01:24:33,144 I thought we already were. I know I am. 1331 01:24:33,269 --> 01:24:35,146 You're such an animal. 1332 01:24:35,230 --> 01:24:37,324 Come on! Forward, men, let's do it! 1333 01:24:37,774 --> 01:24:39,275 Move! Let's go. 1334 01:24:39,359 --> 01:24:41,069 Hard forward, that's it. 1335 01:24:41,152 --> 01:24:42,412 Keep it steady. 1336 01:25:09,597 --> 01:25:10,849 Powers. 1337 01:25:11,933 --> 01:25:14,984 Powers... The plunger. 1338 01:25:15,853 --> 01:25:19,950 Blow it! That's an order, bean head! 1339 01:25:50,430 --> 01:25:52,015 Stroke! Stroke! 1340 01:25:52,098 --> 01:25:53,933 Come on, forward! 1341 01:25:54,392 --> 01:25:56,864 So long, jerks! 1342 01:26:12,243 --> 01:26:13,286 Go! Go! 1343 01:26:13,369 --> 01:26:14,787 Go! Go! 1344 01:26:21,419 --> 01:26:24,468 Oh, God! You give great vibes. 1345 01:26:48,571 --> 01:26:49,874 Where's the river? 1346 01:26:55,912 --> 01:26:57,309 There's the river! 1347 01:26:58,748 --> 01:26:59,916 My God! 1348 01:26:59,999 --> 01:27:02,168 Back paddle! Back paddle! 1349 01:27:36,244 --> 01:27:37,768 We did it! Come on! 1350 01:27:37,996 --> 01:27:40,770 Another victory for the Mighty Crimson! 1351 01:27:54,345 --> 01:27:55,680 Let's get out of here! 1352 01:28:01,310 --> 01:28:04,280 Oh, I think maybe your toilet's overflowing. 1353 01:29:23,017 --> 01:29:24,700 Cocktails, anyone? 1354 01:29:35,738 --> 01:29:38,074 There's Ivy! There's Ivy! 1355 01:29:41,536 --> 01:29:43,084 There's the finish line! 1356 01:29:44,580 --> 01:29:48,307 Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 1357 01:29:57,802 --> 01:29:59,486 Come on, you guys! 1358 01:30:00,054 --> 01:30:01,571 See ya, Ivy! 1359 01:30:02,557 --> 01:30:04,100 They can't do that! 1360 01:30:04,183 --> 01:30:06,399 - That's cheating! - They can't do that! 1361 01:30:10,314 --> 01:30:11,618 Yeah! 1362 01:30:23,327 --> 01:30:25,162 Team Lepetomane! 1363 01:30:25,538 --> 01:30:26,834 We did it! 1364 01:30:30,168 --> 01:30:31,685 Congratulations. 1365 01:30:47,214 --> 01:30:49,081 [TICKING] 1366 01:31:00,740 --> 01:31:02,116 Tell me, 1367 01:31:02,700 --> 01:31:04,619 was it as good for you 1368 01:31:04,785 --> 01:31:07,584 as it was for me that time? 1369 01:31:07,872 --> 01:31:09,874 - No. - No? 1370 01:31:12,919 --> 01:31:14,568 It was better. 1371 01:31:21,397 --> 01:31:23,479 [WHINES AND BARKS] 1372 01:31:30,811 --> 01:31:31,979 Bob... 1373 01:31:33,022 --> 01:31:35,412 How big could it really be? 1374 01:31:38,069 --> 01:31:40,288 Well, let's find out. 1375 01:31:56,045 --> 01:31:58,339 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1376 01:31:59,757 --> 01:32:02,343 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1377 01:32:14,730 --> 01:32:18,401 ♪ Just like the one that got away ♪ 1378 01:32:18,776 --> 01:32:21,278 ♪ So close and yet so far ♪ 1379 01:32:22,196 --> 01:32:24,949 ♪ I threw my hook into the water ♪ 1380 01:32:25,032 --> 01:32:27,702 ♪ I nearly caught her ♪ 1381 01:32:27,785 --> 01:32:29,161 ♪ How bizarre ♪ 1382 01:32:29,245 --> 01:32:31,664 ♪ Now I'm up the creek ♪ 1383 01:32:31,747 --> 01:32:33,582 ♪ Though I have lost a little pride ♪ 1384 01:32:33,666 --> 01:32:35,418 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1385 01:32:35,501 --> 01:32:37,962 ♪ I know that time is on my side ♪ 1386 01:32:38,045 --> 01:32:39,338 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1387 01:32:39,422 --> 01:32:41,340 ♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪ 1388 01:32:41,424 --> 01:32:42,883 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1389 01:32:42,967 --> 01:32:44,802 ♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪ 1390 01:32:44,885 --> 01:32:46,679 ♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪ 1391 01:32:46,762 --> 01:32:48,806 ♪ I know that I am up the creek ♪ 1392 01:32:50,433 --> 01:32:52,059 ♪ Hey! Hey! ♪ 1393 01:32:56,188 --> 01:32:59,066 ♪ The foreign legion's always there ♪ 1394 01:32:59,775 --> 01:33:02,278 ♪ I need a holiday ♪ 1395 01:33:03,404 --> 01:33:06,073 ♪ Daydream in the desert ♪ 1396 01:33:06,157 --> 01:33:08,576 ♪ With no pressure ♪ 1397 01:33:08,659 --> 01:33:12,538 ♪ That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek ♪ 1398 01:33:12,621 --> 01:33:14,540 ♪ Though I have lost a little drive ♪ 1399 01:33:14,623 --> 01:33:16,375 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1400 01:33:16,459 --> 01:33:18,210 ♪ I know that time is on my side ♪ 1401 01:33:18,294 --> 01:33:20,046 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1402 01:33:20,129 --> 01:33:21,839 ♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪ 1403 01:33:21,922 --> 01:33:23,841 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1404 01:33:23,924 --> 01:33:25,718 ♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪ 1405 01:33:25,801 --> 01:33:27,595 ♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪ 1406 01:33:27,678 --> 01:33:30,056 ♪ I know that I'm up the creek ♪ 1407 01:33:32,725 --> 01:33:34,685 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1408 01:33:34,769 --> 01:33:36,395 ♪ Without a paddle ♪ 1409 01:33:36,479 --> 01:33:38,230 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1410 01:33:38,314 --> 01:33:41,233 ♪ But that don't matter at all ♪ 1411 01:33:42,651 --> 01:33:46,155 ♪ No matter at all ♪ 1412 01:33:47,448 --> 01:33:49,241 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1413 01:33:49,325 --> 01:33:51,035 ♪ Without a paddle ♪ 1414 01:33:51,118 --> 01:33:53,037 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1415 01:33:53,120 --> 01:33:56,165 ♪ I'm learning to paddle it all ♪ 1416 01:33:57,958 --> 01:34:02,004 ♪ Paddle it all ♪ 1417 01:34:04,924 --> 01:34:06,425 ♪ Hey! Hey! ♪ 1418 01:34:10,262 --> 01:34:14,934 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1419 01:34:17,603 --> 01:34:22,191 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1420 01:34:24,944 --> 01:34:29,573 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1421 01:34:29,657 --> 01:34:32,535 ♪ Here I go! You want to go? ♪ 1422 01:34:32,618 --> 01:34:36,914 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1423 01:34:36,997 --> 01:34:39,875 ♪ Help me! Help me! Help me! ♪ 1424 01:34:39,959 --> 01:34:44,588 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1425 01:34:47,299 --> 01:34:51,929 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1426 01:34:52,012 --> 01:34:55,599 ♪ Watch it! Wow! ♪ 1427 01:34:58,477 --> 01:35:02,356 ♪ The foreign legion's always there ♪ 1428 01:35:02,439 --> 01:35:04,984 ♪ I need a holiday ♪ 1429 01:35:06,152 --> 01:35:08,821 ♪ Daydream in the desert ♪ 1430 01:35:08,904 --> 01:35:11,449 ♪ With no pressure ♪ 1431 01:35:11,532 --> 01:35:15,494 ♪ That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek ♪ 1432 01:35:15,578 --> 01:35:17,621 ♪ Though I have lost a little drive ♪ 1433 01:35:17,705 --> 01:35:19,373 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1434 01:35:19,457 --> 01:35:21,709 ♪ I know that time is on my side ♪ 1435 01:35:21,792 --> 01:35:23,002 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1436 01:35:23,085 --> 01:35:24,920 ♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪ 1437 01:35:25,004 --> 01:35:26,589 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1438 01:35:26,672 --> 01:35:28,465 ♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪ 1439 01:35:28,549 --> 01:35:30,301 ♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪ 1440 01:35:30,384 --> 01:35:32,887 ♪ I know that I'm up the creek ♪ 1441 01:35:35,514 --> 01:35:37,349 ♪ I'm up the creek ♪ 1442 01:35:37,433 --> 01:35:39,101 ♪ Without a paddle ♪ 1443 01:35:39,185 --> 01:35:41,103 ♪ I'm up the creek... ♪ 1443 01:35:42,305 --> 01:35:48,191 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from SubtitleDB.org 99946

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