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00:00:01,275 --> 00:00:04,642
It's The Muppet Show with our
very special guest star, Connie Stevens.
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And from Sesame Street. Ernie and Bert.
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00:00:08,449 --> 00:00:10,440
(# "The Muppet Show" theme)
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00:00:16,758 --> 00:00:18,726
# It's time to play the music
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00:00:18,793 --> 00:00:20,784
# It's time to light the lights
6
00:00:20,862 --> 00:00:24,389
# It's time to meet the Muppets
on The Muppet Show tonight
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00:00:25,033 --> 00:00:26,967
# It's time to put on makeup
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00:00:27,035 --> 00:00:29,094
# It's time to dress up right
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00:00:29,170 --> 00:00:32,333
# It's time to raise the curtain
on The Muppet Show tonight
10
00:00:34,275 --> 00:00:39,474
Hey! That Gonzo is so dumb, he just heard
that we're running short of water,
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00:00:39,547 --> 00:00:42,641
so he wants us to dilute it.
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00:00:42,717 --> 00:00:44,685
# To introduce our guest star
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# That's what I'm here to do
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# So it really makes me happy
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# To introduce to you
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Miss Connie Stevens!
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# But now let's get things started
on the most sensational, inspirational
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00:01:03,604 --> 00:01:05,663
# celebrational, Muppetational
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00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:11,679
# This is what we call The Muppet Show
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(glass breaking)
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Thank you, thank you, thank you,
and welcome to The Muppet Show.
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Hey, our special guest star is the beautiful
and vivacious Miss Connie Stevens.
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So we're gonna have
a great show for you tonight,
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and matter of fact, right now
I'd like you to meet another friend of mine.
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Her name is Lydia. Hit it!
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(band plays "Lydia the Tattooed Lady"by Harold Arlen and E Y Harburg)
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# Lydia, oh, Lydia,
say, have you met Lydia?
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# Lydia the tattooed lady
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# She has eyes that folks adore so
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# And a torso even more so
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# Lydia, oh, Lydia,
that encyclopedia
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# Oh, Lydia the queen of tattoo
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# On her back is the battle of Waterloo
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00:02:00,094 --> 00:02:03,530
# Beside it the wreck of the Hesperus too
35
00:02:03,598 --> 00:02:07,694
# And proudly above
waves the red, white and blue
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00:02:07,768 --> 00:02:11,295
# You can learn a lot from Lydia
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# La da daa
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# Da da dum
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# La da daa
40
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# Da da dum
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00:02:18,412 --> 00:02:21,904
# She can give you a view
of the world in tattoo
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# If you step up and tell her where
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# For a dime you can see
Kankakee or Paris
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# Or Washington crossing the Delaware
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# La da daa
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# Da da dum
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# Loo doo doo
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# Doo doo
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# Lydia, oh, Lydia,
say, have you met Lydia?
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# Oh, Lydia the tattooed lady
51
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# When her muscles start relaxing
52
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# Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson
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00:02:55,449 --> 00:02:58,475
# Lydia, oh, Lydia,
oh, have you met Lydia?
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# Oh, Lydia the champ of them all
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# She once swept an admiral
clear off his feet
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# The ships on her hips
made his heart skip a beat
57
00:03:08,863 --> 00:03:12,924
# And now the old boy's
in command of the fleet
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# For he went and married Lydia
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Oh, uh, Piggy. Have you met Lydia?
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- No. Have you met my left fist?
- Hmm?
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00:03:35,489 --> 00:03:37,480
I love it. I love it.
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00:03:37,558 --> 00:03:42,461
Of course he loves it.
He's the kind of guy who plants poison ivy.
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Hilda, Hilda.
Could I ask a great big favor?
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00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:50,301
Oh, Gonzo, I'm very busy right now.
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00:03:50,371 --> 00:03:54,068
Oh, but I brought my teddy bear in
just especially for you to repair.
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00:03:54,141 --> 00:03:58,908
Gonzo, aren't you a little old
to carry around a teddy bear?
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00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:04,179
Really? You think I'm emotionally mature
enough to move up to a Raggedy Ann?
68
00:04:04,252 --> 00:04:08,814
Gonzo, I categorically, absolutely refuse
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00:04:08,889 --> 00:04:11,357
to repair that teddy bear.
70
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,086
- Can I take that to mean "maybe"?
- Oh!
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00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,253
Oh, come on, Hilda.
What do you say? Huh?
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00:04:15,329 --> 00:04:20,528
I say that bear is the worst thing
I have ever seen in this theater.
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00:04:20,601 --> 00:04:23,001
Why not get rid of him?
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00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:25,061
But, but Hilda...
75
00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:30,606
The bear is the worst thing
she's ever seen in this theater?
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My whole life is flashing before my eyes.
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(sings in mock Swedish)
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English word der Swedish meatballs.
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Here is der sauce der meatballs.
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(sings in mock Swedish)
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Das good. Oop!
82
00:05:03,144 --> 00:05:05,135
(speaks in mock Swedish)
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00:05:07,815 --> 00:05:08,804
Oh.
84
00:05:08,883 --> 00:05:11,283
Is a beencey bouncy burger, eh?
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I serve de burger...
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(speaks in mock Swedish)
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00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:23,186
15-love.
88
00:05:25,599 --> 00:05:29,535
Kermit, this is an ultimatum.
We sing tonight or else.
89
00:05:29,603 --> 00:05:33,300
- Kermit's not here, Wayne.
- Hmm. Hiding from my wrath, no doubt.
90
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,672
That's funny. He's not on stage, either.
91
00:05:35,743 --> 00:05:38,974
- Wanda, no one is on stage.
- You mean...
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00:05:39,046 --> 00:05:42,345
Yes. This is our chance.
We must grasp it.
93
00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:45,579
But this is supposed to be
the place for the Connie Stevens spot.
94
00:05:45,653 --> 00:05:49,180
Oh, we'll cut the Connie Stevens spot.
95
00:05:52,793 --> 00:05:55,591
Who needs the Connie Stevens spot?
96
00:05:55,663 --> 00:05:58,564
Who cares about
the Connie Stevens spot?
97
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,900
I can't wait for the Connie Stevens spot!
98
00:06:13,614 --> 00:06:16,674
Well, I thought Kermit
was gonna introduce me.
99
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:19,049
- And indeed he shall.
- Hi, Kermit.
100
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,021
Hi, Connie. Wow. Hey, listen, gang.
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00:06:22,089 --> 00:06:24,956
I'd like to introduce
that indefatigable blonde bundle
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of beauty and talent,
Miss Connie Stevens.
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Wow!
104
00:06:28,362 --> 00:06:30,353
And that was only
your backstage introduction.
105
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When you sing your song,
I'm gonna pull out all the stops.
106
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:37,401
- Aw, thanks, Kermit. You're so kind.
- It was my pleasure.
107
00:06:37,471 --> 00:06:39,439
Incidentally, I've been looking
at this number you're gonna do,
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00:06:39,507 --> 00:06:41,805
and I don't remember
ever hearing it before.
109
00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:45,334
Yeah, well, when I get done with it,
you may never hear it again.
110
00:06:45,413 --> 00:06:47,677
- Listen, it was a big hit back in the '50s.
- Oh, yeah?
111
00:06:47,748 --> 00:06:51,548
And I would like to dedicate this
to my old boyfriend, Jimmy McAfee.
112
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:56,454
He used to sing this to me in his hot rod
back in 1956, in the front seat.
113
00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:59,516
- Oh, yeah? Your first love, huh?
- Yeah.
114
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:02,289
Sure was a beautiful car.
115
00:07:02,363 --> 00:07:04,388
I... I, I meant Jimmy McAfee.
116
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:06,729
Oh, yeah. Jimmy McAfee.
117
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,826
Kermit, boy, did I love him.
118
00:07:08,903 --> 00:07:12,168
He had this long, thick,
greasy hair, you know.
119
00:07:12,239 --> 00:07:14,867
And he used to wear
this big leather jacket.
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00:07:14,942 --> 00:07:17,638
And you know something?
If we had saved Jimmy's hair
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we wouldn't have any oil shortage today.
122
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:25,615
I can't wait to hear the song. And like I told
you earlier, we got a group to back you up.
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- Fantastic!
- (grunting and roaring)
124
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,957
- Is that the group?
- Yep. You called it.
125
00:07:38,966 --> 00:07:40,991
Well, they aren't The Temptations.
126
00:07:41,068 --> 00:07:43,366
No, those are The Mutations.
127
00:07:44,972 --> 00:07:47,099
- Delightful.
- Yeah. Well, I tell you what.
128
00:07:47,174 --> 00:07:51,235
I'm gonna go out there, and give you a big
1950s disc-jockey style introduction, OK?
129
00:07:51,312 --> 00:07:53,439
- OK.
- Whoo!
130
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(# "Teenager In Love"by Mort Shuman and Doc Pomus)
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This is Kermit the Frog,
your favorite jock,
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00:07:57,017 --> 00:07:59,349
with all the top tunes of today
spinning merrily out your way.
133
00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:03,413
Stacks and stacks of wax and wax, and
this is a golden oldie, a blast from the past.
134
00:08:03,491 --> 00:08:05,322
The fabulous Connie Stevens
and The Mutations
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with a platter that mattered
way back in 1956.
136
00:08:08,262 --> 00:08:12,494
Let's lock on "Teenager In Love."
Connie, you're on!
137
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# Each time we have a quarrel
138
00:08:27,214 --> 00:08:29,808
# It almost breaks my heart
139
00:08:30,184 --> 00:08:33,119
# 'Cause I am so afraid
140
00:08:33,187 --> 00:08:36,088
# That we will have to part
141
00:08:36,156 --> 00:08:41,651
# Each night I ask the stars up above
142
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# Why must I be a teenager in love?
143
00:08:48,068 --> 00:08:51,231
# I cried a tear
144
00:08:51,305 --> 00:08:54,172
# For nobody but you
145
00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:56,971
# I'd be the lonely one
146
00:08:57,044 --> 00:08:59,945
# If you should say we're through
147
00:09:00,014 --> 00:09:03,381
# Well, if you want to make me cry
148
00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:06,442
# That won't be so hard to do
149
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,455
# And if you should say goodbye
150
00:09:09,523 --> 00:09:12,788
# I'll still go on loving you
151
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:18,799
# 'Cause each night I ask
the stars up above
152
00:09:18,866 --> 00:09:25,066
# Why must I be a teenager in love?
153
00:09:25,139 --> 00:09:30,304
# Why must I be a teenager
154
00:09:30,377 --> 00:09:35,974
# In love?
155
00:09:46,493 --> 00:09:50,452
Ah, how poignant.
I remember being a teenager in love.
156
00:09:50,531 --> 00:09:54,023
Yeah, but Queen Victoria
wouldn't have you!
157
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:59,098
Kermit, don't tell me
you don't like him either.
158
00:09:59,173 --> 00:10:03,576
Well, what's to like, Gonzo? That bear
is the worst. I say let's get rid of him, OK?
159
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:09,742
But he's a nice bear. Come on, I don't
care if he is moldy-looking. I like him.
160
00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:13,811
Did you hear? Only Gonzo likes me.
161
00:10:13,887 --> 00:10:16,219
And he thinks I'm moldy.
162
00:10:17,424 --> 00:10:19,415
(# tea dance music)
163
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:29,867
I see they've finally
started to class this place up.
164
00:10:29,937 --> 00:10:34,306
- How do you mean?
- They're making the rats wear neckties.
165
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:37,572
...two, three, dip. One, two, three, dip.
166
00:10:37,645 --> 00:10:39,442
One, two, three, dip.
167
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:40,673
(screams)
168
00:10:40,748 --> 00:10:42,443
One, two, three, dip.
169
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:44,279
(screams)
170
00:10:45,085 --> 00:10:47,815
Bruce, this is not a fox trot.
171
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,184
It is to me.
172
00:10:54,361 --> 00:10:56,921
(# "Ain't Misbehavin"' by Fats Waller)
173
00:10:56,997 --> 00:11:01,559
# No one to talk with, all by myself
174
00:11:01,635 --> 00:11:06,129
# No one to walk with,
but I'm happy on the shelf
175
00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:11,007
# Ain't misbehavin', savin' my love for you
176
00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:15,244
# Sca-da-ba-da-doo
177
00:11:15,315 --> 00:11:19,843
# I know for certain the one I love
178
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:24,323
# I'm through with flirting,
it's just you I'm dreaming of
179
00:11:24,391 --> 00:11:29,624
# Ain't misbehavin', savin' my love for you
180
00:11:33,434 --> 00:11:37,837
# Like Jack Horner in the corner
181
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:42,342
# Don't go nowhere, what do I care?
182
00:11:42,409 --> 00:11:48,143
# Your kisses are worth waiting for
183
00:11:48,215 --> 00:11:50,945
# Believe me
184
00:11:51,018 --> 00:11:55,751
# I don't stay out late, don't care to go
185
00:11:55,823 --> 00:12:00,226
# I'm home about eight,
just me and my radio
186
00:12:00,294 --> 00:12:05,732
# Ain't misbehavin', savin' my love for you
187
00:12:23,851 --> 00:12:26,877
# Believe me
188
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:31,653
# I don't stay out late, don't care to go
189
00:12:31,725 --> 00:12:36,162
# I'm home about 8, just me and my radio
190
00:12:36,230 --> 00:12:41,668
# Ain't misbehaving, saving my love for you
191
00:12:42,669 --> 00:12:44,296
# Be-ba-da-bom
192
00:12:44,371 --> 00:12:46,362
Ahh!
193
00:12:53,213 --> 00:12:55,443
Uh, Connie, at last...
194
00:12:57,751 --> 00:13:01,209
...we're alone.
- You know something?
195
00:13:01,288 --> 00:13:04,121
I think it's terrific being with you.
196
00:13:04,191 --> 00:13:07,752
- Oh, yeah?
- (# "Close To You" by Burt Bacharach)
197
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:14,734
# Why do stars fall down from the skies
198
00:13:14,802 --> 00:13:20,502
# Every time you walk by?
199
00:13:20,574 --> 00:13:23,270
# Just like me
200
00:13:23,343 --> 00:13:26,744
# They long to be
201
00:13:26,814 --> 00:13:29,476
# Close to you
202
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:36,713
# Aaa-aaa-aahh
203
00:13:36,790 --> 00:13:41,625
# Close to you
204
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:46,359
# Aaa-aaa-aahh
205
00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:49,834
# Close to you
206
00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:55,774
# On the day that you were born
the angels got together
207
00:13:55,843 --> 00:14:00,177
# And decided to create a dream come true
208
00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:03,683
# So they sprinkled moon dust
in your hair of green
209
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:09,814
# And starlight in your eyes of blue
210
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:14,850
# That is why all the girls in town
211
00:14:14,928 --> 00:14:20,525
# Follow you around
212
00:14:20,601 --> 00:14:22,501
# Ooh, just like me
213
00:14:22,569 --> 00:14:24,799
# They long to be
214
00:14:24,872 --> 00:14:27,397
# Close to you
215
00:14:27,474 --> 00:14:29,601
Are you ready, fellas?
216
00:14:29,676 --> 00:14:32,008
# Just like me
217
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,309
# They long to be
218
00:14:34,381 --> 00:14:36,747
# Close
219
00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:39,115
# To
220
00:14:39,186 --> 00:14:44,886
# You
221
00:14:50,397 --> 00:14:54,731
I'd like to get close to Connie Stevens,
but I'm too close to something else.
222
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:56,792
- Well, what's that?
- 90.
223
00:15:00,307 --> 00:15:04,869
I've had it. Now that I know
what people think of me here,
224
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,914
I'm leaving the show.
225
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:11,576
(Gonzo) Oh, hi, guys. Say, I'm curious.
What do you think of him?
226
00:15:11,652 --> 00:15:15,645
Listen, they're talking about me.
Well, I will not listen.
227
00:15:15,722 --> 00:15:18,748
What do I think of the bear?
Why, he's funny.
228
00:15:18,825 --> 00:15:22,886
No, no, really. Every time I look at him
he makes me want to laugh and laugh.
229
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:27,297
- Oh, I think he's just great.
- Oh, well, I'm glad you like him too.
230
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:29,164
Kermit thinks it's a disgrace
to have him around
231
00:15:29,236 --> 00:15:31,363
and says we ought to get a new one.
232
00:15:31,438 --> 00:15:33,497
Well, that'd be nice too.
233
00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:38,701
The bear can barely bear it, folks.
234
00:15:43,417 --> 00:15:46,853
OK, Zoot. It's time for your solo.
Have you looked over the music?
235
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:51,687
- Yeah. You expect me to play this, man?
- What else would you do with it?
236
00:15:51,758 --> 00:15:54,955
If I had a match
I could put it out of its misery.
237
00:15:55,028 --> 00:15:57,462
Don't joke me, Zoot.
This is a great little number.
238
00:15:57,531 --> 00:16:00,625
Yeah. What if I refuse to play it?
239
00:16:00,701 --> 00:16:03,067
What if I get a new sax player?
240
00:16:04,404 --> 00:16:09,603
What if you and I just get
right down to it and do this little beauty?
241
00:16:09,676 --> 00:16:11,837
- Good thought.
- Yeah.
242
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:17,113
Forgive me, Charlie Parker,
wherever you are.
243
00:16:18,585 --> 00:16:20,576
(#jazz music)
244
00:17:47,007 --> 00:17:49,805
OK. And now,
for your amazement and confusion,
245
00:17:49,876 --> 00:17:53,539
The Muppet Show 's
resident weird person, Gonzo the Great,
246
00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:55,638
will grow a tomato plant
247
00:17:55,715 --> 00:18:00,243
whilst playing
the 181 2 Overture on the violin.
248
00:18:02,089 --> 00:18:03,818
Thank you, thank you.
249
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:08,759
This is the tomato plant,
and I am the Gonzo.
250
00:18:09,696 --> 00:18:11,527
- This act may not last long.
- (Gonzo plays "181 2 Overture" on violin)
251
00:18:11,598 --> 00:18:13,589
- (Gonzo) Whoo! Whee-aaa-hahah!
- (violin stops)
252
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,635
In fact, it's over.
253
00:18:15,702 --> 00:18:18,068
No! Get off me!
254
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,197
(screaming and shouting)
255
00:18:21,908 --> 00:18:23,899
Well, they're gonna be tied up for a while.
256
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:27,242
- Goodbye, Mr. Frog.
- Uh, Fozzie? Where are you going?
257
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:30,613
Oh, I've been hearing what they've
been saying about the old bear here,
258
00:18:30,684 --> 00:18:34,848
so I'm going home.
I'm leaving the show business.
259
00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:35,979
- But...
- Kermit.
260
00:18:36,056 --> 00:18:39,184
- Bye.
- If the bear goes, I go.
261
00:18:39,259 --> 00:18:44,128
Wha... Gonzo, I never realized!
Oh, boy, oh, boy. OK.
262
00:18:44,197 --> 00:18:47,598
OK. The ball is in your court, frog.
263
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:50,500
Uh, wait a minute. Wait a minute,
wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it.
264
00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:52,504
Listen, Fozzie,
when you heard people saying
265
00:18:52,572 --> 00:18:56,201
they didn't want the bear around here,
they were referring to Gonzo's teddy bear.
266
00:18:56,276 --> 00:18:58,938
Not to you.
267
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:01,207
Teddy bear?
268
00:19:01,281 --> 00:19:04,148
Oh, you mean... Then you really
want me to stay on the show?
269
00:19:04,217 --> 00:19:06,777
Of course I want you to stay
on the show. You're a star.
270
00:19:06,853 --> 00:19:09,879
- You're a legend in your own time.
- Oh!
271
00:19:09,956 --> 00:19:13,357
- Am I laying it on a little too thick?
- Oh, I don't know what to say,
272
00:19:13,426 --> 00:19:18,728
except that if you, the frog,
want me, the bear, to stay, then...
273
00:19:18,798 --> 00:19:21,232
- I just have to have a raise.
- What?
274
00:19:21,301 --> 00:19:24,566
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I want an even bigger
dressing room, and a limousine...
275
00:19:24,638 --> 00:19:28,130
- Will you get out of here, Fozzie?
- Thank you, sir. Thank you. Thank you.
276
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:32,668
Yeah, well, like I was saying, Kermit,
if the bear goes, the Gonzo goes.
277
00:19:32,746 --> 00:19:33,735
OK, OK.
278
00:19:33,813 --> 00:19:38,113
You can stay. The teddy bear can stay.
Both bears can stay. The Gonzo can stay.
279
00:19:38,185 --> 00:19:39,209
Phew!
280
00:19:39,286 --> 00:19:44,781
Sometimes the crown weighs
rather heavy on this little froggy head.
281
00:19:45,859 --> 00:19:48,692
(newsreader) Here's a Muppet news flash.
282
00:19:48,762 --> 00:19:53,290
And now, to Washington DC
for a direct call on our hot line.
283
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:54,765
Ooh! Oh! Oh!
284
00:19:56,303 --> 00:19:58,669
And now it's time
to present two old friends of ours.
285
00:19:58,738 --> 00:20:02,003
All the way from Sesame Street.
Here they are now, the two and only,
286
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,100
Ernie and Bert.
287
00:20:05,845 --> 00:20:08,109
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
288
00:20:08,181 --> 00:20:11,173
Gee, it's really great to be here.
Right, Bert?
289
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,185
Uh... Guess so.
290
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:15,949
- Well, what's wrong, Bert?
- Well, I mean, uh...
291
00:20:16,022 --> 00:20:20,721
I feel funny being here.
This is a big TV variety show, you know.
292
00:20:20,794 --> 00:20:23,661
- Well, so?
- Well, I... I'm no performer.
293
00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:26,824
Oh, Bert. A suave,
sophisticated showman like you, Bert?
294
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,595
Oh, sure, sure. You see, I know you.
295
00:20:28,668 --> 00:20:31,432
You're gonna keep on saying
I'm suave and sophisticated,
296
00:20:31,504 --> 00:20:35,770
and then when I start to believe it, then
you're gonna say how pointy head I have,
297
00:20:35,842 --> 00:20:39,369
and how floppy arms I have,
and, and how dull I am.
298
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,811
- I know you.
- Oh, Bert, Bert, Bert.
299
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,677
- What?
- Now, you must admit, though, Bert,
300
00:20:42,749 --> 00:20:45,411
that the head up there
is a little bit pointy, Bert.
301
00:20:45,485 --> 00:20:48,511
And you must admit that the arms
are a little bit floppy and soggy, Bert.
302
00:20:48,588 --> 00:20:50,021
- See that?
- Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
303
00:20:50,090 --> 00:20:52,320
- And Bert? Bert?
- What?
304
00:20:52,392 --> 00:20:54,792
The nose is still loose, Bert.
305
00:20:57,197 --> 00:21:01,224
- Now cut that out!
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry, Bert. Here.
306
00:21:02,369 --> 00:21:04,269
- There we go, Bert.
- Yeah. See what I mean?
307
00:21:04,337 --> 00:21:07,864
I mean, that old loose nose joke
is funny on Sesame Street.
308
00:21:07,941 --> 00:21:10,501
But this is big time, Ernie.
309
00:21:10,577 --> 00:21:12,340
I mean, they're expecting
an act or something...
310
00:21:12,412 --> 00:21:13,572
- Hey, Bert, wait a minute.
- What?
311
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,705
You can do an act.
312
00:21:14,781 --> 00:21:17,682
- All you need are the clothes, Bert.
- Ah, no... Clothes?
313
00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:19,241
- Come here, Bert. Step right over here.
- No, I... No, stop it...
314
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:22,447
- No, no, right over here, Bert.
- I know what you have in mind. Stop it!
315
00:21:22,522 --> 00:21:25,047
(scuffling sounds)
316
00:21:25,125 --> 00:21:28,288
And here he is now,
that suave, sophisticated showman,
317
00:21:28,361 --> 00:21:31,023
my old buddy, Bert.
318
00:21:32,966 --> 00:21:35,093
Well, Bert? What do you say?
319
00:21:36,102 --> 00:21:40,038
# Some enchanted evening
320
00:21:40,106 --> 00:21:44,702
- Beg pardon, Bert?
- # You may see a stranger
321
00:21:44,778 --> 00:21:46,211
(# "Some Enchanted Evening"by Rodgers and Hammerstein)
322
00:21:46,279 --> 00:21:48,338
What's going on here?
323
00:21:48,415 --> 00:21:51,043
# You may see a stranger
324
00:21:51,117 --> 00:21:54,951
# Across a crowded room
325
00:21:55,021 --> 00:21:59,014
# And somehow you know
326
00:21:59,092 --> 00:22:03,153
# You know even then
327
00:22:03,229 --> 00:22:06,164
# That somewhere you'll see her
328
00:22:06,232 --> 00:22:10,828
# Again and again
329
00:22:12,872 --> 00:22:15,466
# Who can explain it?
330
00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:18,033
# Who can tell you why?
331
00:22:18,111 --> 00:22:21,444
# Fools give you reasons
332
00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:24,847
# Wise men never
333
00:22:24,918 --> 00:22:28,012
# Try
334
00:22:53,513 --> 00:22:55,504
Oh, Connie.
335
00:22:58,451 --> 00:23:00,442
(sighs)
336
00:23:04,090 --> 00:23:07,059
# Once you have found her
337
00:23:07,127 --> 00:23:09,561
# Never let her go
338
00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:14,158
# Once you have found her
339
00:23:14,234 --> 00:23:17,135
# Never
340
00:23:17,203 --> 00:23:20,001
# Let her
341
00:23:20,073 --> 00:23:25,875
# Go
342
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:37,756
- Ernie?
- Hmm?
343
00:23:37,824 --> 00:23:39,416
- Ernie, come here.
- What, Bert?
344
00:23:39,492 --> 00:23:42,757
Did I just make a complete fool of myself?
345
00:23:43,763 --> 00:23:45,924
Absolutely, Bert.
346
00:23:45,999 --> 00:23:50,026
- Take me home. I feel terrible.
- OK. Come on, Bert.
347
00:23:53,039 --> 00:23:56,099
Well, Connie, we sure want to thank you
for being with us on the show tonight.
348
00:23:56,176 --> 00:23:58,303
Well, thank you, Kermit. I had a ball.
349
00:23:58,378 --> 00:24:01,040
Uh, listen. Hey, we'd also
like to present you with a little gift
350
00:24:01,114 --> 00:24:02,775
that we give to all our
guest stars on the show:
351
00:24:02,849 --> 00:24:05,317
A Muppet likeness of yourself.
352
00:24:05,385 --> 00:24:09,412
Uh, hiya, Connie. Do you think
there's room for two of us in this business?
353
00:24:09,489 --> 00:24:12,151
- Well, can you sing and dance?
- Uh, no.
354
00:24:12,225 --> 00:24:13,920
Well, then, there's plenty of room.
355
00:24:13,993 --> 00:24:17,929
Thanks a lot, Kermit. This is
a lovely surprise. I would like to thank...
356
00:24:17,997 --> 00:24:19,692
Oh, no.
357
00:24:19,766 --> 00:24:21,063
It's a...
358
00:24:21,134 --> 00:24:24,661
It's a crazy Great Gonzo tomato plant!
Hey, make sure Connie's OK,
359
00:24:24,737 --> 00:24:27,968
and tell Gonzo that
either the plant goes or he goes.
360
00:24:28,041 --> 00:24:29,941
We lose more guests that way.
361
00:24:30,009 --> 00:24:33,945
Anyhow, take care of yourselves, and we'll
see you next time on The Muppet Show.
362
00:24:34,013 --> 00:24:36,004
(# "The Muppet Show" theme)
363
00:25:14,654 --> 00:25:17,248
Well, do you think
this show is educational?
364
00:25:17,323 --> 00:25:20,850
Yes, it'll drive people to read books.
365
00:25:22,629 --> 00:25:24,620
(bum note)
29255
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