Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:28,400
♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
2
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:31,750
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:31,910 --> 00:00:35,280
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:38,020
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:41,100
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:44,730
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:46,270
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:47,980
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:52,510
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,820
FAMILY GUY
11
00:00:59,740 --> 00:01:01,190
Peter, come on.
12
00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:02,490
- What?
- We're starting.
13
00:01:02,490 --> 00:01:03,880
Oh, is this, uh, a new one?
14
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,620
I thought it was a rerun.
Okay, here we go.
15
00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:09,380
Line?
What are those guys doing over there?
16
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,900
Hey, what are those
guys doing over there?
17
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:13,660
I added a "hey."
18
00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:15,830
Here we go, Patriots!
19
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,870
All right, now let's go miss the urinal
20
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,520
with half a whiz and get out of here.
21
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,030
Right on!
22
00:01:21,030 --> 00:01:21,920
Hey, why you guys leaving?
23
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,580
We're taking a party bus to the game.
24
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:25,570
A bus for partying?
25
00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:26,710
Aw, that sounds awesome.
26
00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:28,350
Like a pair of Pete's Headphones.
27
00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:30,740
♪ Oye cómo va ♪
28
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,220
♪ Mi ritmo ♪
29
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:34,130
♪ Bueno pa' gozar ♪
30
00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:35,520
♪ Mulata ♪
31
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,900
Mom, can we eat?
32
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:49,520
My stomach is starting to sound
like Arnold Schwarzenegger
33
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,220
gasping for air at the
end of Total Recall.
34
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:56,540
My eyes are
popping out at the end of this movie!
35
00:01:56,970 --> 00:01:58,880
Well, I'd like to wait for your father.
36
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,680
L-Let me send him another
infuriating check-in text.
37
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,470
Hel-lo!
38
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,540
Yes?
39
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,300
Peter, where the hell have you been?
40
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:10,320
On a magical journey to
Gillette Stadium and back.
41
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,970
You remember last night
when you called me
42
00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:13,970
the lowest-class alcoholic in the world?
43
00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:17,490
Well, I found one rung lower.
I'm a party bus guy now.
44
00:02:17,490 --> 00:02:19,870
That's got to be way better
than when I drove a Fiat.
45
00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:22,600
Hey! You cut me off!
46
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,540
What? Turn down your radio.
47
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:27,150
I can't. My stomach's pressed
up against the dial.
48
00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:28,130
You want to go?
49
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:31,610
Get me 17 shoehorns and some canola oil,
and we'll go!
50
00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:33,290
Get back here!
51
00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:40,500
Okay, guys, now this is a bus
for a fireman's bachelor party.
52
00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:42,660
So just follow my lead
and we'll fit right in.
53
00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:46,920
All right!
9/11! Boston Strong!
54
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,530
Never forget!
How about this guy? You forget?
55
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,720
No way. You're too Boston
Strong to ever forget.
56
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:53,830
Let's roll!
57
00:02:55,410 --> 00:02:58,360
Uh, I mean... civil servants
with hero complexes!
58
00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,770
Boom!
59
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,880
- All right!
- Welcome, other firefighters.
60
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,450
Bring us the man of the hour.
61
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:05,760
Come on, Smitty!
62
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,420
Hmm. Unfortunate timing.
63
00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:14,340
Now, which one of these scumbag firemen
64
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:15,760
will go after his fiancée?
65
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,070
Already happened. We're very happy.
66
00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:24,160
♪ Firemen are not good friends ♪
67
00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:30,590
♪ They'll bang your wife
when you are dead. ♪
68
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,160
Peter, this sucks!
What are we doing out here?
69
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:52,240
I'm beginning to think
those vodka cranberries
70
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,120
may have had alcohol in them.
71
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,560
Wow, partying on the bus to prom.
72
00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,530
Doesn't get much cooler than this.
73
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,960
None of these lame kids is drinking.
74
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,700
Eh, I think I know what's going on.
75
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,870
Hey, how many of you kids
are on the horny drugs?
76
00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:15,440
I'm a cop.
77
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,630
But I'm not a narc.
78
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:22,350
Cool cop! Cool cop! Cool cop!
79
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,700
Did you dook yourself?
Just listen to the chant, Peter.
80
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:28,210
Listen to the chant.
81
00:04:36,790 --> 00:04:38,380
Close dancing, 12 o'clock.
82
00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:40,890
Hey, arm's length, dirty porno lovers!
83
00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:43,060
So, going stag tonight, Meg?
84
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,380
Oh, no, I brought someone.
85
00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:47,930
Hello. I'm in love with Meg.
86
00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:50,050
Well, now I'm very sorry I asked.
87
00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:53,400
Wow, the end of high school.
88
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,540
Tonight, we pass around Stifler's mom,
89
00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:58,400
and in the morning, it's off
to die quick in Vietnam.
90
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,320
Peter, I think you're getting
your movies mixed up.
91
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,400
Attention, students.
92
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,530
It's time to announce this
year's prom king and queen.
93
00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:06,890
Natalee Holloway!
94
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,410
Now, now.
And the winners are...
95
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,400
Connie D'Amico and "Kermit Legs" Kyle!
96
00:05:16,810 --> 00:05:18,270
Ah, so close.
97
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,190
Hello, gorgeous.
98
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,090
- How old are you?
- 18.
99
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:25,110
All right, and I just
recorded you saying that.
100
00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:27,090
And hi. I am Glenn Quagmire.
101
00:05:27,090 --> 00:05:28,820
Courtney. Nice to meet you.
102
00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:30,940
You don't look like
you're in high school.
103
00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:33,760
I got held back. You
like getting held back?
104
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,530
Sometimes.
105
00:05:40,030 --> 00:05:41,120
All right, youngins.
106
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,620
I dragged this piece of dirty
cardboard in from the alley
107
00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:45,970
to show y'all how to get down.
108
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:48,030
Peter! Let's boogie!
109
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,740
Aah! There was a staple in the box!
110
00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:23,610
Where's the nurse's office?
111
00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:26,010
Hey, you want to get out of here?
112
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,680
Yeah. Let's go.
113
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,850
You take requests?
114
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:31,840
What are you looking for?
115
00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:39,140
♪ It's been one week
since you looked at me ♪
116
00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:41,520
♪ Cocked your head to the
side and said I'm angry ♪
117
00:06:41,710 --> 00:06:43,450
♪ Five days since you laughed at me... ♪
118
00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:46,380
- I just don't know them fast!
- ♪ Three days... ♪
119
00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:48,680
Oh, oh, giggity!
120
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,320
Wait. Did you just say "giggity"?
121
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,540
Yeah. Sorry.
122
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:53,950
Sometimes I just blurt that
out when I get excited.
123
00:06:53,950 --> 00:06:55,830
Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
124
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,840
Here. Rub this up and down
on the inside of your cheek.
125
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,710
- Giggity.
- Aah! Stop saying that!
126
00:07:09,850 --> 00:07:11,680
What is it, Glenn? What's wrong?
127
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,550
You're... you're my daughter!
128
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:16,090
Oh, my God!
129
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,700
I guess this means I have
a phone call to make.
130
00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:21,930
Hey, it's Glenn Quagmire.
131
00:07:21,930 --> 00:07:24,530
Would you tell Andrew that
he is not the father?
132
00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:26,920
Andrew, you are not the father.
133
00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:45,670
Courtney, there's something
I just got to ask.
134
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,030
What the heck was the
theme of that dance?
135
00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:49,720
- What do you mean?
- I mean, like,
136
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,640
there was palm trees like it was Hawaii,
137
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,680
but then there was a suit
of armor in the corner.
138
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,060
There was a big banner
w-with fish on it.
139
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,540
Can we get back to the
fact that you're my dad?
140
00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:00,130
Yeah, you're right.
I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
141
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,570
Well, let me ask. What's
up with your mom?
142
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,880
Actually, I never knew my mom.
143
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,790
I was hoping that you
could tell me about her.
144
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:10,780
Uh... of course I can.
145
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,850
Your mom...
your mom... was really...
146
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:18,420
thing hanging on the
bulletin board behind you.
147
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:21,210
That's so nice to hear. Tell me more.
148
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:23,460
Oh, gosh, she was, she was just so...
149
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,950
word on the bottom of your coffee cup.
150
00:08:25,950 --> 00:08:28,690
I always knew she would be! What else?
151
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:30,680
I just have some great
memories of her...
152
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,710
numbers to call in case of emergency
153
00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:34,530
or accidental poisoning.
154
00:08:34,530 --> 00:08:37,250
It's like she's here with us right now.
155
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,730
So you don't know your
mom? Who do you live with?
156
00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:41,760
Well, right now I'm on a futon
157
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,440
in the rafters of my friend's garage.
158
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,670
Oh! Actually, I better get going.
159
00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:47,920
I have to feed their
ferrets. They breed them.
160
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,580
It's pretty terrifying.
161
00:08:50,390 --> 00:08:53,820
Anyway, thank you so
much for being so nice,
162
00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:55,630
and let's talk soon?
163
00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:57,720
Wait, hold on. You can't
live in a ferret garage.
164
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:58,980
You need a home.
165
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,440
You know, you could move in here.
166
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,000
I have an extra bedroom,
and the bed has a bunch
167
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,680
of different-sized pillows on it.
168
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,140
Hmm. I do love dealing with
those pillows every day,
169
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:11,600
but are you sure?
I don't want to be a burden.
170
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,920
No, it's no problem.
Hey, you're my daughter.
171
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,660
I want to make sure you
have everything you need.
172
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:19,120
Thanks. That's sweet.
173
00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:22,700
Um... okay! Yeah. I'll move in.
174
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:24,760
That's huge for me.
175
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,620
Hey, is that an Instant Pot?
176
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:29,260
- No, it's a Crock-Pot.
- You got to get an Instant Pot.
177
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,230
You can make short ribs in
it. It falls right off...
178
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:32,660
Yeah, yeah, falls right
off the bone. I know.
179
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,330
I've had this conversation five times.
180
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:36,150
Hey, Quagmire.
181
00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:38,090
I hear you're considering
an Instant Pot.
182
00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:40,000
Courtney, that's Joe, my neighbor.
183
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,680
Hey, Courtney. You getting
this guy on board?
184
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:49,390
So, I think I had a wet
nightmare last night.
185
00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:50,610
Is that possible?
186
00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:53,480
- Hello, fellow daddios.
- Did you bang your kid yet?
187
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,350
Okay, Peter, can I talk
to you for a second?
188
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,980
I'm sorry, but I am not going
to stand for any misogyny.
189
00:09:58,980 --> 00:10:00,880
Stop acting like a Neanderthal pig.
190
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,120
Those sound scary.
191
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,770
What were you two ladies talking about?
192
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,310
Joe, can I talk to you for a second?
193
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:10,170
It's 2019. Time-tested jokes like that
194
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:12,200
are now offensive and not funny at all.
195
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:14,560
Okay, I got to go.
196
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,140
I'm taking Courtney to
her first WNBA game.
197
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:18,610
I got courtside seats.
198
00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:20,860
They're way in the back, but
I'm sitting next to Courtney.
199
00:10:21,390 --> 00:10:24,280
I-I got dad jokes now.
See you, friends.
200
00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:27,210
Yes, 911?
201
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,430
Someone has stolen the old Quagmire
202
00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:32,010
and replaced him with a respectable man.
203
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,510
Sir, this line is reserved
for emergencies only.
204
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:38,320
Please end your clammy joke.
Okay. Sorry.
205
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:41,650
206
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,780
- You remember what I told you?
- I'm the best around.
207
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,360
Nothing's gonna ever keep me down.
208
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,830
That's right. I made that up.
Now go get 'em, kiddo.
209
00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:53,520
I'll be watching with the other moms.
210
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:58,420
Here's all the usual suspects.
211
00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:00,320
Oh, you're doing a video.
212
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,360
Turn it... G-Get it off.
Glenn, I look terrible.
213
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,890
Glenn, Courtney's up!
214
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:08,830
Okay, okay, here we go. Please.
Let's go, Courtney!
215
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,930
Ah, perfect! That's a ten!
216
00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:24,080
9.2? 9.2?!
9.2?!
217
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,390
9.2?!
218
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:39,130
9.2?! I'll give you a 9.2.
On the Richter scale!
219
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,380
Courtney, let's go.
220
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:43,600
I get to go again. We do it twice.
221
00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:00,090
Let's go, Courtney.
222
00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,330
So, you liking Take Your
Daughter to Work Day?
223
00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:08,970
Uh, yeah!
I can't believe my dad knows
how to fly this thing.
224
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,180
- You want to try?
- Me? I don't know.
225
00:12:12,180 --> 00:12:14,590
Come on, it's easy.
You don't even need a college degree,
226
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:16,970
which is a very scary
true fact. Go ahead.
227
00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:21,180
You're doing great. Now roll it.
228
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,880
What? No way.
229
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,520
Don't worry, you're a Quagmire.
It's in your blood.
230
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,380
- Grip it and rip it.
- Okay.
231
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,570
Attagirl. Perfect.
232
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,340
N-No. No, no. We're not doing that.
233
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:36,200
I got my daughter with
me today, you perverts.
234
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,110
He's not doing it today.
235
00:12:38,110 --> 00:12:39,520
- Aw, shoot.
- Another time.
236
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,720
Probably got his kid with him.
237
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:47,350
I'm glad you guys could
finally come over for dinner.
238
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,000
Sure thing, Lois. Thanks for having us.
239
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,460
See, Meg? That's a thigh gap.
240
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,240
Now, Courtney, I'd like to
awkwardly introduce you
241
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,200
to someone your own age.
Courtney, this is Megan.
242
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,120
Maybe you listen to the same music.
243
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,000
- Hey.
- Hey.
244
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,400
Yo, Courtney, what's your Instagram?
245
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,240
I just got on there and
need some interesting peeps
246
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,080
- to follow.
- Oh, you'll have to ask my dad.
247
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,260
He approves all my follow requests.
248
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:10,970
Denied! Nice try, ass.
249
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,930
Hey, have you guys seen
the Wonder Woman film?
250
00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,970
- Yeah, no.
- Oh, you have to.
251
00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:16,210
It's a triumph.
252
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:17,930
Courts and I have seen it five times.
253
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:19,520
It's an important movie, Peter.
254
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,930
You should watch it with
Meg. It's a masterwork.
255
00:13:21,930 --> 00:13:23,600
Oh, I've been wanting to see that.
256
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,010
Okay, we totally will.
257
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,600
Hey, Dad, I just checked the weather,
258
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,010
and it looks like sunny
skies all weekend.
259
00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:33,730
You guys have big plans?
Yeah, we're going camping.
260
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,000
Hey, you and Meg should
come with us, Peter.
261
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,160
We'll make it a father-daughter
bonding weekend.
262
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,200
- Oh, that's a great idea.
- Yeah, let's go, Dad.
263
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,300
Y-You know who you should
take instead of me?
264
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,680
Uh, Stewie or-or Chris or Brian.
265
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,030
May-Maybe Lois.
Or Seamus is fun.
266
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:53,320
Carter Pewterschmidt,
Babs Pewterschmidt,
Bonnie, Joe, their son Kevin,
267
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,050
Cleveland, Jerome, Bruce, Opie, Carl,
268
00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:58,880
the "phony" guy, the
ostrich, Al Harrington,
269
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,950
Billy Finn, John Travolta
from one of our cutaways,
270
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:05,090
uh, all of our characters
as Star Wars characters,
271
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:06,640
everybody from The Cleveland Show,
272
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,560
Cherry Chevapravatdumrong...
that's how that name is pronounced...
273
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,800
the Orville... the ship, not the cast...
274
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,420
um, me... Aw, damn it!
275
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,590
Okay, fine. I'll go.
276
00:14:15,590 --> 00:14:16,800
- Thank you.
- Cool.
277
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,740
I heard my name, too. I'm in!
278
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:21,540
No? I'll drive, buy snacks?
279
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,140
No? Okay.
Everyone else is out here, too.
280
00:14:33,510 --> 00:14:36,070
Oh, my God, it's literally everyone.
281
00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:39,140
That can only mean... show ghosts!
282
00:15:01,630 --> 00:15:03,400
I'm really glad you decided to bring Meg
283
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,370
on this camping trip, Peter.
284
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,920
- It's gonna be great.
- Because we're in the...
285
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,860
Because we're in the great outdoors.
286
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,160
You don't get air like this
back in Quahog, do you, Pete?
287
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,560
Uh, I don't know. Some places, probably.
288
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,130
Hoo-ah! Gosh, being in nature
gives me such great energy.
289
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:22,460
Hey, Courtney, you ever see
a yellow-headed warbler?
290
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,660
That's the only warbler I haven't seen.
291
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,420
Not for long it's not.
292
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:31,350
Don't answer that. We're eating.
293
00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:32,720
They're probably eating.
294
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,790
Okay, we're gonna have a
fun camp competition.
295
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,500
And the first event, worth five points,
296
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:39,100
is a race down to the lake right now!
297
00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:41,190
Last one there is a stinky poo-poo egg!
298
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,580
Come on, Dad!
299
00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:45,730
What Meg didn't know,
what none of them knew,
300
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:49,380
is that I already was
a stinky poo-poo egg.
301
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,920
Boy, you don't get stars like this
back in Quahog, do you, Pete?
302
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,320
Stop calling me Pete.
303
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,430
I know what'll cheer you up. Skits!
304
00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:14,520
Well, isn't this a
perfect bench for a sit.
305
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:19,000
Say, Dad, what are you doing?
306
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,800
Oh, just sitting on the invisible bench,
307
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,160
reading about those
North Korea jokesters.
308
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,770
But, Dad, they moved the
invisible bench last week.
309
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,790
Oh. It's over there now.
310
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:37,450
Ladies and gentlemen, "The
Invisible Bench" skit.
311
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:39,900
Peter, you're up.
312
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:47,200
Are you eating an apple with a knife?
313
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,110
God, that's always so forced.
314
00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:51,190
Hold on. We've been here already.
315
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,040
Yeah, she's right.
That's where I graffitied that rock.
316
00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:57,580
317
00:16:57,580 --> 00:17:00,170
We've changed our minds.
We're going on record.
318
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:01,650
We're not lost, all right?
319
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:03,750
We're just two dads bonding
with our daughters,
320
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,390
and getting lost is
not part of the plan.
321
00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:07,820
All right, nobody panic.
We just need to get our bearings.
322
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,330
Hey, here comes a hiker.
323
00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:10,930
Excuse me, sir, we're lost.
324
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,320
Ha! Then you must be my car keys, right?
325
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,320
It is so nice to get out of the city
326
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,980
and meet friendly people.
327
00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:20,220
You're not helping, Dad. As usual.
328
00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:21,930
Well, at least I didn't get us lost.
329
00:17:21,930 --> 00:17:25,370
We're not lost! We're just...
two dads in the woods,
330
00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:27,990
who love our daughters very, very much.
331
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:30,290
Okay, so maybe it's not
the life we chose.
332
00:17:30,290 --> 00:17:32,770
Well, you chose it. I didn't.
That's for damn sure!
333
00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:34,250
- Dad, will you help him?
- Shh.
334
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:36,120
I've been waiting for this.
I knew it was fake.
335
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,760
Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't...
I'm not Dad! I'm Quagmire!
336
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,750
Glenn Quagmire!
Giggity giggity!
337
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,750
I don't want to be out
here! I hate camping!
338
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:47,110
And what the hell was the
theme of that stupid prom?!
339
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:49,070
All the cups said, "Oh, What a Night!"
340
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:51,200
I mean, if it was, "Oh,
What a Knight" with a "K,"
341
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,380
that would've made some sense,
342
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:53,770
'cause there was a suit of armor there.
343
00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:55,540
What was that about? Answer me!
344
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:58,450
I-I think it's possible to
overthink these things.
345
00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:00,040
Ugh, what a mish-mosh.
346
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,440
Damn it, I just want to be home,
347
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,200
not here, lost in the woods,
looking at this stupid map
348
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,760
with a magnifying glass.
349
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,220
Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?
350
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,350
I don't know.
351
00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:19,720
- Help!
- Dear God, someone help us!
352
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,600
You know when this would never happen?
353
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,470
If I was sitting on the
couch, watching TV,
354
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,200
ignoring you completely.
355
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,640
Courtney, I'm sorry for
what I said earlier.
356
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,120
You mean when you completely
ripped my school dance theme?
357
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,100
No, no, there was no theme to rip.
358
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,900
That's the point. I
stand by all of that.
359
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:36,250
If anything, I'm more angry.
360
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:38,190
No, I'm-I'm talking
about being your father
361
00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:39,450
before I was ready.
362
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:42,150
I promise, if we make it out of here,
363
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,200
we can start again.
364
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,790
- Deal?
- Deal.
365
00:18:53,770 --> 00:18:56,460
9/11!
Boston Strong!
366
00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:59,760
Oh, it's Smitty.
We're saved!
367
00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,580
But we should warn the
birds the fire's coming.
368
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,690
All right, stay calm.
369
00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:09,810
Grab the pictures. I'll
get your mother's ashes.
370
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:17,100
Wow, Peter, that was a
close call with that fire,
371
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:19,340
but I'm glad you all made
it back safe and sound.
372
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,950
Yeah, me, too.
What the hell?
373
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,360
Oh, I hope it's okay.
I bought some more pillows.
374
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,760
I mean, what is the deal
with women and pillows?
375
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,330
Has-has anyone else noticed this?
376
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:34,320
No.
377
00:19:35,350 --> 00:19:36,600
No one?
378
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,810
But I-I got three minutes
of material on pillows.
379
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,280
We don't want to hear it.
380
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,280
28697
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
