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# Bah! Ba-ba-ba-bah!
Ba-ba-ba-bah!
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,000
# Ba-ba-ba-bah!
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,000
# When the world
In which you live in
4
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,000
# Gets a bit too much to bear
5
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:17,040
# And you need someone to lean on,
When you look there's no one there
6
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:23,000
# You're gonna find me
Out in the country
7
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,000
# Yeah, you're gonna find me
8
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,520
# Way out in the country,
Ba-ba-ba... #
9
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A SHEEP BLEATS
10
00:00:31,375 --> 00:00:32,895
"Anne and..." What does that say?
11
00:00:32,895 --> 00:00:35,415
Graham? Gordon?
I think it's Gavin.
12
00:00:35,415 --> 00:00:38,215
Please tell me we don't know
anyone called Gavin.
13
00:00:38,215 --> 00:00:41,055
I don't think that says Anne either,
I think it says Val.
14
00:00:41,055 --> 00:00:45,215
Well, whoever they are, they're
wishing us a very happy Christmas.
15
00:00:45,391 --> 00:00:48,231
Oh, Santa's little helper's
not in a good mood, is he?
16
00:00:48,231 --> 00:00:50,151
Well, it's all so pointless,
isn't it?
17
00:00:51,266 --> 00:00:55,066
In fact, you know what? Let's just
not do Christmas this year.
18
00:00:55,066 --> 00:00:58,066
Zoe's at her dad's,
my two can't make it.
19
00:00:58,261 --> 00:01:00,261
What, you mean just ignore it?
20
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,961
Just treat Christmas
like any other day,
21
00:01:01,988 --> 00:01:03,488
it's what a lot of our neighbours
in Leeds did.
22
00:01:03,589 --> 00:01:06,589
They were Muslims.
Maybe, but they had the right idea.
23
00:01:06,589 --> 00:01:08,309
Do you like Turkey?
Not really.
24
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,722
Christmas pudding?
I wouldn't miss it.
25
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:12,882
Yeah, and you know why?
Because it's not very nice.
26
00:01:12,882 --> 00:01:14,882
I'm always too full to enjoy it.
27
00:01:14,882 --> 00:01:17,882
Exactly! You're stuffed to the gills
and then you've got to eat something
28
00:01:17,882 --> 00:01:20,882
that looks like it's been dropped
on your plate by a police horse.
29
00:01:20,882 --> 00:01:22,882
Oh, thanks,
I think that's off the menu now.
30
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,402
Yeah, a good test,
take the word Christmas out
31
00:01:25,402 --> 00:01:28,882
and would you still do it? Would
you send someone a card saying,
32
00:01:28,882 --> 00:01:30,882
wishing you a very happy day?
Course not,
33
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,182
they'd think you're deranged.
Or American.
34
00:01:33,269 --> 00:01:35,269
What, you mean no decorations,
no Christmas tree?
35
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:37,109
Again, take the word Christmas out,
36
00:01:37,109 --> 00:01:39,269
do we normally have
a tree in the house?
37
00:01:39,269 --> 00:01:42,269
OK, OK.
38
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:45,969
You're on,
we're not doing Christmas. Deal?
39
00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:47,014
Deal.
40
00:01:48,826 --> 00:01:50,826
So no presents then.
41
00:01:54,826 --> 00:01:57,826
Not doing Christmas?
Whose idea was this?
42
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,026
Well, Steve pointed out...
43
00:01:59,026 --> 00:02:00,826
Oh, I might've known.
44
00:02:00,826 --> 00:02:02,826
No, I agree with him.
We do all these things just cos
45
00:02:02,826 --> 00:02:04,346
it's Christmas Day
and we don't enjoy them.
46
00:02:04,346 --> 00:02:05,826
Who says we don't enjoy them?
47
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,826
Well, it's true,
I mean, take sprouts.
48
00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:10,826
If sprouts were nice, people would
have them more than once a year.
49
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,826
I do, I eat them every Sunday
when they're in season.
50
00:02:12,826 --> 00:02:14,666
Twice a week sometimes.
51
00:02:14,666 --> 00:02:16,666
All right, not sprouts, mince pies.
52
00:02:16,666 --> 00:02:17,826
I love mince pies,
I eat them all the time.
53
00:02:17,826 --> 00:02:20,346
OK, Christmas crackers.
54
00:02:20,346 --> 00:02:22,826
No-one ever has crackers
unless it's Christmas.
55
00:02:22,826 --> 00:02:27,926
Hey, you're right, and there's
something else fishy I've noticed.
56
00:02:28,471 --> 00:02:31,571
People only have Easter eggs
when it's Easter.
57
00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:33,635
You might be on to something here,
Steve.
58
00:02:33,635 --> 00:02:35,635
Well, we've decided we're not making
a big thing of it this year.
59
00:02:35,635 --> 00:02:38,635
Suit yourselves,
no skin off my nose.
60
00:02:38,635 --> 00:02:41,935
I'll be having my Christmas
dinner at the bowls club, as usual,
61
00:02:41,935 --> 00:02:45,935
followed by a great big,
steaming Christmas pudding.
62
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,635
What's so funny?
Sounds lovely.
63
00:02:49,635 --> 00:02:50,635
Nothing.
64
00:02:53,635 --> 00:02:55,635
Right, that's me off.
Have you got some gardening work?
65
00:02:55,635 --> 00:02:59,635
Do you mind! These aren't my work
clothes, this is my best coat.
66
00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:02,635
Hey, I thought
we weren't doing Christmas.
67
00:03:02,635 --> 00:03:05,635
This is work,
North Yorkshire Mobility Scooters
68
00:03:05,635 --> 00:03:07,635
felt their website
wasn't Christmassy enough.
69
00:03:07,635 --> 00:03:09,635
Oh, I know, why don't you have Santa
70
00:03:09,635 --> 00:03:11,635
coming across on one of their
scoo...
71
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,893
'Ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho!'
72
00:03:15,893 --> 00:03:18,893
Aw, that's quite sweet!
Yeah,
73
00:03:18,893 --> 00:03:21,893
Santa's got a degenerative disease.
74
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:27,253
'Ho-ho-ho!'
75
00:03:28,893 --> 00:03:32,893
# Hark the Herald Angels sing
76
00:03:32,893 --> 00:03:36,893
# "Glory to the new-born King!"
77
00:03:36,893 --> 00:03:40,893
# Peace on earth and mercy mild... #
78
00:03:40,893 --> 00:03:42,253
Shop looks nice.
79
00:03:42,253 --> 00:03:43,893
It's for Christmas.
80
00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:46,893
Yeah, I... Anyway, it's very nice.
81
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,893
Want any tinsel?
It's on special offer.
82
00:03:49,893 --> 00:03:50,893
Er, no thanks.
83
00:03:50,893 --> 00:03:53,253
What about chocolate oranges?
84
00:03:53,253 --> 00:03:54,893
Four for the price of five.
85
00:03:54,893 --> 00:03:58,733
No, we're erm...
Isn't that the wrong way round?
86
00:03:58,733 --> 00:04:01,093
Huh?Shouldn't it be five
for the price of four?
87
00:04:02,119 --> 00:04:04,799
Only if you're getting four
but you're paying...Gareth!
88
00:04:04,799 --> 00:04:08,099
Should the chocolate oranges
be five for the price of four?
89
00:04:08,099 --> 00:04:09,959
'You what?'
90
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:13,579
Why aren't the chocolate oranges
five for the price of four?
91
00:04:14,279 --> 00:04:16,119
'We'd be losing out that way.'
92
00:04:17,119 --> 00:04:18,779
We'd be losing out that way.
93
00:04:19,124 --> 00:04:22,124
Right. Well, I don't want any
anyway, thanks.
94
00:04:22,124 --> 00:04:23,644
Actually, me and Steve,
95
00:04:23,644 --> 00:04:25,664
we've decided we're not doing
Christmas this year.
96
00:04:25,668 --> 00:04:26,828
Why not?
97
00:04:26,828 --> 00:04:28,828
We're just not.
98
00:04:28,828 --> 00:04:31,828
That's daft, that is.
Best day of the year, Christmas Day.
99
00:04:31,828 --> 00:04:33,828
You can eat what you want
all day long.
100
00:04:41,828 --> 00:04:45,828
There we are, all done.
101
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,828
See you in the New Year.
102
00:04:48,868 --> 00:04:50,828
Some of you.
103
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:58,828
THE TILL BLEEPS
104
00:05:01,828 --> 00:05:05,828
Oh, hello, dear.
Doing your Christmas shopping?
105
00:05:05,828 --> 00:05:09,028
Oh, no, we've decided we're not...
oh, never mind.
106
00:05:09,028 --> 00:05:11,828
What are you up to at Christmas,
Alice? Are you seeing your sister?
107
00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:16,348
Oh, no, Joyce is away in Colchester
visiting her daughter.
108
00:05:16,348 --> 00:05:19,828
I'll just stay at home on my own,
109
00:05:19,828 --> 00:05:23,828
again. It's nice and warm
if I keep my coat on.
110
00:05:25,414 --> 00:05:27,454
What do you mean,
you've invited her to drinks?
111
00:05:27,454 --> 00:05:29,314
We said we're not doing Christmas.
We're not,
112
00:05:29,314 --> 00:05:32,114
it's just drinks that
happen to be on Christmas Eve.
113
00:05:32,164 --> 00:05:36,464
I had to do something, she's going
to be all alone on Christmas Day.
114
00:05:36,516 --> 00:05:38,416
Like she is every other day,
once again,
115
00:05:38,462 --> 00:05:41,062
take the word Christmas out of it,
it makes a lot more sense.
116
00:05:41,125 --> 00:05:43,025
It's a day
and she's going to be alone on it.
117
00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:45,355
And with that,
the little Christmas elf
118
00:05:45,355 --> 00:05:46,955
shook his bell
and wrapped another present.
119
00:05:47,031 --> 00:05:49,031
Who else are you
thinking of inviting?
120
00:05:49,031 --> 00:05:50,231
My dad.
121
00:05:50,231 --> 00:05:52,071
Matt and Meena.
Oh, not them.
122
00:05:52,071 --> 00:05:54,031
Oh, come on.
123
00:05:54,031 --> 00:05:56,711
If the soldiers in the First World
War can have a Christmas truce,
124
00:05:56,711 --> 00:05:58,031
then so can you.
125
00:05:58,031 --> 00:06:00,431
Yes, but this is more serious, they
didn't actually hate each other.
126
00:06:04,537 --> 00:06:07,577
No, it's not Christmas drinks, Dad,
127
00:06:07,577 --> 00:06:10,897
it's just drinks
that happen to be on Christmas Eve.
128
00:06:11,748 --> 00:06:15,748
All right, well, call it what
you want, are you coming or not?
129
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,266
Good. Bye.
130
00:06:19,506 --> 00:06:20,506
God's sake.
131
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,506
Where are you off to?
132
00:06:22,506 --> 00:06:25,546
Oh, erm, I just thought I'd go and
invite Grizzo to this drinks thing.
133
00:06:25,546 --> 00:06:29,026
You've changed your tune.
I doubt Grizzo'll want to come.
134
00:06:29,026 --> 00:06:30,506
Well, you never know, anyway,
135
00:06:30,506 --> 00:06:33,506
I thought we might as well invite
someone I actually like.
136
00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:43,506
THE DOOR BELL CHIMES
137
00:06:48,897 --> 00:06:51,937
Oh, hiya, Steve.
Oh, hi. Have I come at a bad time?
138
00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:53,897
No, just getting this down
off the roof.
139
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,897
How did a harp get on your roof?
140
00:06:55,897 --> 00:06:57,897
Put it this way,
that's the last time I invite
141
00:06:57,897 --> 00:06:59,257
Kylie Minogue
to one of my parties!
142
00:07:00,412 --> 00:07:03,412
Right. Anyway, the reason I'm here,
we were just wondering
143
00:07:03,412 --> 00:07:04,412
what you're doing for Christmas?
144
00:07:04,412 --> 00:07:07,412
Oh, I'm gonna have a traditional
Christmas.Oh, good,
145
00:07:07,412 --> 00:07:10,092
we're having drinks
on Christmas Eve,
146
00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:11,412
so if you fancy coming round?
Love to.
147
00:07:11,412 --> 00:07:13,252
Great!
148
00:07:13,252 --> 00:07:14,452
Only, like I said,
I'll be in the Bahamas.
149
00:07:14,452 --> 00:07:17,412
Oh, I thought you said you were
having a traditional Christmas.
150
00:07:17,412 --> 00:07:19,412
No, that is the tradition.
151
00:07:19,412 --> 00:07:21,412
I go to the Bahamas.
Oh, right. Yeah.
152
00:07:21,412 --> 00:07:23,092
Well, have a nice time.
153
00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:24,412
You too. Thanks for the invite.
154
00:07:24,412 --> 00:07:25,412
Oh, no, you're welcome.
155
00:07:27,556 --> 00:07:29,556
Oh, Steve.
156
00:07:29,556 --> 00:07:31,556
When is it again?
Christmas Eve.
157
00:07:31,556 --> 00:07:34,556
No, when's Christmas?
It's in five days' time.
158
00:07:34,556 --> 00:07:36,556
Brilliant! Cheers!
159
00:07:41,751 --> 00:07:43,751
Hi, Shannon.
160
00:07:44,447 --> 00:07:46,447
I did a click and collect,
is there a parcel here for me?
161
00:07:46,447 --> 00:07:48,447
It's a present for Nicky.
162
00:07:48,447 --> 00:07:49,447
What's it look like?
163
00:07:49,447 --> 00:07:52,447
Well, I should imagine it looks
like a parcel with my name on it.
164
00:07:53,447 --> 00:07:55,447
Gareth!
165
00:07:55,447 --> 00:07:57,447
Is there a parcel there?
166
00:07:57,447 --> 00:07:59,147
'You what?'
167
00:07:59,233 --> 00:08:01,233
Is there a parcel for Steve?
168
00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:03,233
'I don't think so.'
169
00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:07,233
It should be here,
it was next-day delivery.
170
00:08:07,233 --> 00:08:09,233
If it's next-day delivery,
it'll be here tomorrow then.
171
00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:13,233
No, I ordered it yesterday,
so today is the next day.
172
00:08:13,233 --> 00:08:15,233
Well, every day's the next day
if you start from yesterday.
173
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:19,433
Look, I came in here for a parcel,
not a philosophy lecture.
174
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,233
Is it here or not?
175
00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:23,233
No.
176
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:24,533
Thank you.
177
00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:28,233
Shouldn't that be...
178
00:08:35,694 --> 00:08:37,694
Maybe she just doesn't like harps.
179
00:08:37,694 --> 00:08:41,294
Well, we'll probably never know.
The point is, he can't come.
180
00:08:41,975 --> 00:08:44,975
Well, let's hope Matt and Meena can.
181
00:08:45,499 --> 00:08:46,539
Yeah.
182
00:08:47,776 --> 00:08:50,456
Oh, my God, look at this!
183
00:08:51,776 --> 00:08:54,776
Welcome to the next
John Lewis advert.
184
00:08:58,557 --> 00:09:00,557
'I've been baking brownies
since five in the morning!'
185
00:09:00,557 --> 00:09:03,917
'I have been behind the wheel of a
car for three hours already today!'
186
00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:05,917
'I've been on the roof
putting the lights up!'
187
00:09:05,917 --> 00:09:08,557
'Yes, but it was me that got
the illuminated reindeer working!'
188
00:09:08,557 --> 00:09:10,557
'Bully for you!'
STEVE KNOCKS THE DOOR
189
00:09:14,557 --> 00:09:16,557
Hi.
What a pleasant surprise.
190
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:19,557
Anyone for a cinnamon brownie?
They're very moreish.
191
00:09:19,982 --> 00:09:21,982
I see you put a few lights up.
192
00:09:21,982 --> 00:09:23,982
Where are the kids?
They're at macrame club.
193
00:09:23,982 --> 00:09:26,102
They're very good at it.
Of course.
194
00:09:26,193 --> 00:09:28,673
Look what Silas made last week.
195
00:09:28,673 --> 00:09:29,713
What is it?
196
00:09:29,713 --> 00:09:31,673
It's an angel.
It's lovely!
197
00:09:31,673 --> 00:09:33,193
They're making our present
this week.
198
00:09:33,193 --> 00:09:34,713
We're not allowed to know
what it is.
199
00:09:35,113 --> 00:09:37,273
Whatever it is,
it'll be made out of string.
200
00:09:38,073 --> 00:09:39,773
It's the thought that counts, Steve.
201
00:09:39,794 --> 00:09:42,314
We wondered if you'd like to come
for drinks Christmas Eve?
202
00:09:42,314 --> 00:09:45,474
Yeah, they're not Christmas drinks,
just drinks on Christmas Eve.
203
00:09:45,474 --> 00:09:46,794
I don't see the difference.
204
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,794
Talk to my dad about that.
205
00:09:48,794 --> 00:09:50,834
We've decided we're not
going to do Christmas this year.
206
00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:53,794
Oh, that's a shame.
You can't beat a proper Christmas.
207
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,834
Christmas stockings...
Christmas walks.....games...
208
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:57,794
..carols...
Christmas rows.
209
00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:03,557
Anyway, we'd love to come.
Great.
210
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,760
Yeah, but that's not click and
collect, is it? That's just click.
211
00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:18,870
All right,
I'll go back and see if it's there,
212
00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:21,510
like I have every day
since I ordered it.
213
00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:22,510
Yep.
214
00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:24,510
Yeah, happy Christmas to you, too.
215
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:28,510
Mind you don't choke on a mince pie,
or anything.
216
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:29,930
Who was that?
217
00:10:29,958 --> 00:10:32,438
Oh, it was just a client
ringing to wish me happy Christmas.
218
00:10:32,438 --> 00:10:35,438
They're brave.
I thought I might go to the shop,
219
00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:36,958
get a few
bits and pieces for tonight.
220
00:10:36,958 --> 00:10:39,438
We've got everything we need,
I drove 50 miles to get it.
221
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:41,438
Yeah,
but we might need some mustard.
222
00:10:41,438 --> 00:10:43,438
We've got mustard.
223
00:10:43,438 --> 00:10:44,838
No, not the stuff
they sell at the shop.
224
00:10:44,838 --> 00:10:46,838
What? Mouldy and out-of-date.
225
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:51,938
Yeah, but we do need some post-it
notes, as well as mustard.
226
00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:53,138
So, I won't be long.
227
00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:03,867
It's not here.
228
00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:06,867
Well, according to them, it is.
Can you please double-check.
229
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,867
Gareth!
'It's not here, I've checked!'
230
00:11:11,867 --> 00:11:14,867
Can you look on the system,
see what it says.
231
00:11:17,867 --> 00:11:20,867
THE COMPUTER BLEEPS
232
00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:26,867
It's saying there's an unexpected
volume of parcels.
233
00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:28,567
Unexpected?!
234
00:11:28,609 --> 00:11:31,309
What is unexpected about Christmas?
235
00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:34,047
It's been on the calendar
for over 2,000 years.
236
00:11:34,047 --> 00:11:36,367
It hasn't been unexpected
since that angel appeared
237
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,047
to three shepherds in a field.
238
00:11:38,047 --> 00:11:41,367
They had a right to be caught out
by it but nobody else does!
239
00:11:42,641 --> 00:11:43,641
It's...
240
00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:45,641
not...
241
00:11:45,641 --> 00:11:46,641
here.
242
00:11:47,446 --> 00:11:49,446
Right, well,
that's that then, isn't it?
243
00:11:49,446 --> 00:11:52,446
I'll just have to wake up
on Christmas morning
244
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,966
with no present for my wife.
245
00:11:54,966 --> 00:11:57,446
Thought you weren't doing Christmas.
246
00:12:02,599 --> 00:12:04,599
Am I the only one
coming to this party?
247
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,599
No, Matt and Meena
are coming with the kids,
248
00:12:06,599 --> 00:12:08,439
oh, and they're bringing Alice.
249
00:12:08,439 --> 00:12:09,599
I hope you've got enough booze in,
250
00:12:09,599 --> 00:12:12,599
she's the reason there's no pub in
the village.Was there a pub then?
251
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,599
Oh, yes, they made
the mistake of banning her,
252
00:12:14,599 --> 00:12:16,599
two months later
they went out of business.
253
00:12:16,919 --> 00:12:17,919
That'll be them.
254
00:12:20,162 --> 00:12:21,462
Oh, it's started snowing.
255
00:12:21,599 --> 00:12:24,599
Oh, yes,
it's almost as if it's Christmas.
256
00:12:24,599 --> 00:12:26,599
Shame we're not allowed to say it.
257
00:12:26,599 --> 00:12:27,799
DOOR BELL RINGS
258
00:12:29,119 --> 00:12:31,599
IN CHORUS: It's snowing!
259
00:12:31,599 --> 00:12:33,599
Well, let's hope your car
doesn't get stuck.
260
00:12:33,599 --> 00:12:36,599
Listen to him, you townies
see a couple of flakes of snow
261
00:12:36,599 --> 00:12:39,599
and start to panic!
We're a bit more used to it here.
262
00:12:39,599 --> 00:12:42,119
I could do with a sherry
to warm myself up.
263
00:12:43,486 --> 00:12:45,486
Well, if you'd like to come in.
264
00:12:45,486 --> 00:12:47,486
Oh, hello, Alice.
Is there any sherry?
265
00:12:47,486 --> 00:12:50,006
Dad, would you, erm...
266
00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:52,006
It's all right, I'll manage.
267
00:12:52,006 --> 00:12:54,486
There we go, try telling her
it's not Christmas.
268
00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:58,070
We made you a present.
Oh, lovely.
269
00:12:58,121 --> 00:12:59,921
They made that all by themselves.
270
00:13:01,707 --> 00:13:02,707
Oh.
271
00:13:03,707 --> 00:13:04,707
It's a table mat.
272
00:13:04,707 --> 00:13:06,707
Oh, right, well,
273
00:13:06,707 --> 00:13:08,707
put it on the table them.
274
00:13:08,707 --> 00:13:10,707
What would you like to drink?
Wine, beer?
275
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,707
I'm driving, just tap water for me.
276
00:13:12,707 --> 00:13:14,707
Great, well, help yourself then.
277
00:13:14,707 --> 00:13:17,707
Meena?
This sherry's very good.
278
00:13:17,707 --> 00:13:19,387
Ooh, I might have one of those.
279
00:13:19,387 --> 00:13:21,387
Right, one sherry coming up.
280
00:13:21,387 --> 00:13:22,707
Oh, I think I'll join you.
281
00:13:38,707 --> 00:13:40,707
Not too many of those,
we don't like crisps, do we?
282
00:13:40,707 --> 00:13:42,707
High salt content.
We're watching telly!
283
00:13:42,707 --> 00:13:44,707
Well, not too much of that, either.
284
00:13:44,707 --> 00:13:47,707
Looks like someone's getting
stuck into the sherry.Yeah.
285
00:13:48,668 --> 00:13:49,668
THEY LAUGH
286
00:13:50,868 --> 00:13:52,368
Oh.
287
00:13:52,419 --> 00:13:55,099
Nicky, can I tell you something?
288
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:56,419
Go on.
289
00:13:58,419 --> 00:14:00,419
No.
What's this, Meena?
290
00:14:00,419 --> 00:14:03,419
Oh, nothing.
No, go on, it's rude to whisper.
291
00:14:03,419 --> 00:14:08,119
OK, I was just telling Nicky
that sometimes I hate it here.
292
00:14:08,169 --> 00:14:11,369
No, Meena, you don't,
we've talked about this, remember?
293
00:14:11,369 --> 00:14:13,169
Have some more of this.
294
00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:15,969
I think she's had enough,
she's not as used to it as you are.
295
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:17,660
It's only sherry.
296
00:14:17,677 --> 00:14:19,677
Still, best not to.
297
00:14:19,677 --> 00:14:21,977
Oh, come on, Matt, loosen up.
298
00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:23,997
Oh!
299
00:14:24,653 --> 00:14:25,833
I've got it.
300
00:14:25,888 --> 00:14:28,208
What're you doing?
That is a table mat!
301
00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:32,568
What now?
You're right. That is a table, Matt.
302
00:14:32,568 --> 00:14:35,208
Right, that's it, we're leaving,
I'll go and start the car.
303
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:39,208
Silas, Pipps!
'We're just watching something.'
304
00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:41,208
Thanks for coming.
305
00:14:41,208 --> 00:14:42,208
Don't forget your coat.
306
00:14:46,208 --> 00:14:47,208
Bloody hell!
307
00:14:47,611 --> 00:14:49,611
Are you going to be able
to get through that all right?
308
00:14:49,611 --> 00:14:52,811
Yeah, I think so, I mean,
our car can handle most things.
309
00:14:52,811 --> 00:14:54,651
I've never seen so much snow.
310
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,460
I must admit,
even by country standards,
311
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:58,660
that's one hell of a dump.
312
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:01,460
You don't normally say that
until Boxing Day.
313
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,980
We won't get through that,
we're stuck here for the night.
314
00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:07,460
Oh, great!
315
00:15:26,374 --> 00:15:27,374
Sleep well?
Not really,
316
00:15:27,374 --> 00:15:30,374
I was worried my eyelids
were going to freeze shut.
317
00:15:30,695 --> 00:15:31,695
How about you?
318
00:15:31,695 --> 00:15:33,695
I had a dream
I was living in an igloo.
319
00:15:33,695 --> 00:15:36,695
What was it like?
Warmer than this.
320
00:15:37,695 --> 00:15:38,735
Anyway...
321
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,695
..happy Christmas!
322
00:15:43,695 --> 00:15:45,695
You said we wouldn't.
323
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,695
I know, but I'd already bought
it for you, so, happy day!
324
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,931
Oh, Nicky.
Don't you like it?
325
00:15:52,945 --> 00:15:55,105
I love it! Thank you, it's just...
326
00:15:55,945 --> 00:15:57,905
..I did buy you a present,
but it didn't arrive.
327
00:15:57,905 --> 00:15:59,905
Steve, you don't have to pretend.
328
00:15:59,905 --> 00:16:01,905
No, I did, only Shannon...
329
00:16:01,905 --> 00:16:04,905
Oh, you got something from the shop,
what was it? A tin of cat food?
330
00:16:04,905 --> 00:16:05,905
No, it was a proper present.
331
00:16:05,905 --> 00:16:07,905
I almost believe you.
332
00:16:09,905 --> 00:16:13,985
Right, I suppose we'd better go
and do a body count,
333
00:16:14,012 --> 00:16:16,332
see if they've survived the night.
334
00:16:16,332 --> 00:16:17,332
Fingers crossed.
335
00:16:24,332 --> 00:16:25,332
Thanks.
336
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:28,132
Paracetamol?
Yes, please.
337
00:16:28,184 --> 00:16:29,784
I'm hungry, Mummy.
338
00:16:29,817 --> 00:16:31,817
Oh, just have some crisps.
339
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:35,192
It's no good, I can hardly
see the car, let alone drive it.
340
00:16:35,192 --> 00:16:37,492
I told you,
we're stuck here for the duration.
341
00:16:37,713 --> 00:16:39,553
Is there any sherry?
342
00:16:39,553 --> 00:16:43,713
Oh, it's all finished, Alice.
And we know why.
343
00:16:43,995 --> 00:16:46,335
We've got some fishcakes,
we can have those for lunch.
344
00:16:46,378 --> 00:16:49,098
Ah, the traditional Christmas
fishcake, shall I carve,
345
00:16:49,128 --> 00:16:50,128
or will you?
346
00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:52,930
There's a Cornish pasty.
347
00:16:53,073 --> 00:16:55,033
Anything vegetarian?
348
00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:57,433
It'll have to be a mishmash,
I'm afraid, we've not got a lot in.
349
00:16:57,478 --> 00:16:58,998
Oh, I wonder why.
350
00:16:58,998 --> 00:17:01,478
Oh, yeah, it's because
someone had the bright idea
351
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:02,838
of not doing Christmas.
352
00:17:02,838 --> 00:17:06,478
All right, Dad, leave it.
Yeah, come on, Ken, it is Christmas.
353
00:17:06,478 --> 00:17:08,838
And what do we say about crisps?
354
00:17:08,838 --> 00:17:10,978
Mummy said we could have them.
355
00:17:11,678 --> 00:17:15,998
I just...
Fine. Just no fizzy drinks.
356
00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:17,478
This is the worst Christmas ever.
357
00:17:17,478 --> 00:17:21,478
I agree and I've had 92 of them!
358
00:17:31,314 --> 00:17:35,314
HE WHISTLES:
'WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS'
359
00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:54,666
I should've been
at the bowls club by now.
360
00:17:54,666 --> 00:17:56,666
I wish you were.
Eh?
361
00:17:56,666 --> 00:17:58,666
No, I mean,
because then you wouldn't
362
00:17:58,666 --> 00:18:01,666
be stuck here,
you'd be having a nice time there.
363
00:18:01,666 --> 00:18:04,666
We're just sorry
we ruined everyone's Christmas.
364
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,666
Oh, no.
Well...
365
00:18:06,666 --> 00:18:10,666
Father Christmas is coming!
We saw him from the window!
366
00:18:10,666 --> 00:18:13,666
Oh,
they've got wonderful imaginations.
367
00:18:13,666 --> 00:18:14,666
They're hallucinating,
368
00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:17,666
it's what happens when you give them
crisps and fizzy drinks.But he is!
369
00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:19,666
It's Father Christmas on his sledge!
370
00:18:32,186 --> 00:18:33,666
Grizzo?!
371
00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:35,186
Merry Christmas.
372
00:18:39,666 --> 00:18:41,666
I thought you were
going to the Bahamas?
373
00:18:41,666 --> 00:18:44,026
Flight was cancelled,
thanks to the erm, what's it called?
374
00:18:44,026 --> 00:18:46,666
Snow.
Yeah, that's it, yeah.
375
00:18:46,666 --> 00:18:49,346
Anyway, brought a few bits
and pieces with me.
376
00:18:49,346 --> 00:18:52,066
Now, who wants to give me
a hand getting the tree in?
377
00:18:52,066 --> 00:18:53,966
Yay!
378
00:18:58,866 --> 00:19:00,666
How's the nut-roast doing?
379
00:19:00,666 --> 00:19:04,066
Fine, once I stopped you
stuffing it in the turkey.
380
00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:06,066
In fairness,
it does look like stuffing.
381
00:19:07,866 --> 00:19:09,666
I really did get you a present,
you know.
382
00:19:09,666 --> 00:19:13,066
Steve, it's fine.
Well, you certainly saved the day.
383
00:19:13,422 --> 00:19:15,522
Where the heck did you get
all this lot from?
384
00:19:15,544 --> 00:19:18,544
It just turned up yesterday morning,
record label sent it as a thank you.
385
00:19:18,544 --> 00:19:20,064
What's this, Grizzo?
386
00:19:20,064 --> 00:19:22,544
Oh, hey, you are gonna love this!
387
00:19:22,544 --> 00:19:26,544
It's a glitter cannon, we'll set
it off outside after dinner, hey?
388
00:19:26,544 --> 00:19:27,544
Yay!
389
00:19:28,904 --> 00:19:30,544
Turned out all right, hasn't it?
390
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:33,178
Considering we're not doing
Christmas.
391
00:19:33,178 --> 00:19:34,778
Yeah, it has, hasn't it?
392
00:19:34,778 --> 00:19:36,778
THE DOOR BELL RINGS
393
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:40,778
Shannon?!
394
00:19:40,778 --> 00:19:44,778
This came after you left, thought
you might want it for Christmas.
395
00:19:44,778 --> 00:19:47,778
Oh, thank you! How did you get here?
396
00:19:47,778 --> 00:19:49,458
Bronson borrowed a tractor.
397
00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:50,778
Borrowed?
398
00:19:50,778 --> 00:19:54,138
Well, technically took,
but I'll give it back, like.
399
00:19:54,138 --> 00:19:56,138
Seeing as it's Christmas.
400
00:19:58,069 --> 00:19:59,809
It's hard to describe
my sound really,
401
00:19:59,842 --> 00:20:02,602
it's a sort of grime-indie crossover
with a bit of drum and bass.
402
00:20:02,624 --> 00:20:04,864
Is it anything like Perry Como?
403
00:20:04,864 --> 00:20:06,004
Er...
404
00:20:06,055 --> 00:20:09,375
Oh, Steve, it's gorgeous!
405
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,375
I love it.They don't call me
Mr Christmas for nothing.
406
00:20:12,375 --> 00:20:13,415
Thank you.
407
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,375
Coin, what coin?
408
00:20:19,375 --> 00:20:22,375
Bronson made
our pocket money disappear!
409
00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:24,375
This is the best Christmas ever!
410
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:27,375
Is he allowed to say that, Steve?
Yes, yes.
411
00:20:30,215 --> 00:20:33,675
Righto.
Gareth says, "Happy Christmas".
412
00:20:33,695 --> 00:20:36,375
IN CHORUS: Happy Christmas, Gareth!
413
00:20:36,375 --> 00:20:37,695
'You what?'
414
00:20:38,785 --> 00:20:41,085
Right, look, as you know...
415
00:20:42,067 --> 00:20:44,387
..we weren't going to celebrate
Christmas this year...
416
00:20:44,387 --> 00:20:47,067
THEY GRUMBLE
..in any event,
417
00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:51,387
it didn't turn out like that,
thanks to your generosity and...
418
00:20:53,387 --> 00:20:55,387
..kindness.
419
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:58,387
So, from now on, we're going
to celebrate Christmas properly.
420
00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:00,747
Good. Glad to hear it.
421
00:21:00,747 --> 00:21:03,882
I'd like to wish you all
a very happy...
422
00:21:03,885 --> 00:21:06,885
Steve, no!
BANG!
423
00:21:41,362 --> 00:21:42,962
Fishcake, anyone?
424
00:21:43,012 --> 00:21:47,562
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