All language subtitles for still_standing_s02e11_still_christmas

Did you finally clear the driveway?

Yep. Did you put back the snowblower?

Yep. Did the neighbors catch you?

Nope.

And, good news for summer, I noticed
they got a flip and slide.

Oh, it's so Christmassy out there.

I see somebody made snow angels on the
front lawn.

No, that was Bill. He didn't get back
up.

If you saw me, why didn't you help me?

Because it was warm in here.

funny out there.

Hello? Oh, hey, Mom.

Yes, of course, we're coming to you for
Christmas. It's your year.

What?

Really?

A cruise?

So we won't be spending Christmas with
you?

Oh, of course we're disappointed. Yeah,
but you and Dad have a great time. We'll

miss you. Bye!

Bye! Bye!

going to be good for the holidays.

They told you to let me know?

No.

Katie. Probably just left it on my cell
phone.

No messages.

Nope. I think there's a big one.

Bill, this is great. After all these
years, we finally get to have our own

Miller Christmas. We can do whatever we
want. Create our own traditions. I'm

just throwing this out.

Beer nog.

Oh, yes.

You can take this opportunity to open
your heart and your home to someone less

fortunate. You know, the sad, the
pathetic, the downtrodden.

Okay, I get it. You can come.

I'm still in love with you today because
you make me happy.

Mom? Yes? Got that other box of
decorations down from the attic for you.

Thanks, Lauren.

Don't thank me.

Mother, you do so much for us. You
deserve a wonderful Christmas.

Well, it is the most butt -kissy time of
the year.

What? Me being nice has nothing to do
with some medium -brown sweet jacket.

I'm the way.

Farrington's. Send her my name.

You know, I am so excited that we get to
have our own Christmas this year. What

do you say we ditch the fake tree and go
to one of those lots and cut down a

live one? Ooh, it's beginning to smell a
lot like effort.

Hey, Brian, guess what? It's time to set
up the Candy Cane Express.

Mom, I'm a teenager now. I'm too old for
model trains and stuff.

Look, it's Coco Claus.

I missed you, buddy.

Let's go get you cleaned up.

We're back.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, my little billy goat. Where were you
when I came to pick up Tina? Were you

hiding from me? Why would I hide from my
mom in the basement?

So how was your picture with Santa?

Oh, not so good.

He fell and shook a lot.

Santa had a little seizure episode.

An elf had to shove a candy cane in his
mouth.

Tina, don't worry. I'm sure Santa will
be fine in time for Christmas. I don't

want him in the house.

I go after her. Poor kid. Last year at
the mall, she found the Easter Bunny

smoking behind a dumpster.

Billy?

I've got some great tickets to the
Nutcracker on Saturday. Maybe you could

some time out of your busy life for the
woman who raised you.

I feel like I got front row seats for
the Nutcracker right now.

I'm sorry, Ma. I can't make it.

Oh, well.

At least we'll see each other for
Christmas Eve dinner.

Absolutely. Oh, it's going to be so much
fun to have everybody over to my new

place. What?

But, Mom, we had it at your house last
year. It might be a lot of work for you.

Oh, nonsense.

There's nothing more that I would love
than to give you a nice Christmas like

the kind we used to have.

Remember, we'd all gather around the
piano while I played carols.

I miss that piano.

But you don't have the piano anymore,
and your new apartment's so small.

And it's been a big adjustment for me.

But maybe something like this is what I
need to make it feel more like a home

for even a few precious hours.

So, what time do you want us there?

Oh, well, we'll eat at six, so no later
than noon.

Wait, wait, wait. What's with six? And
why do we have to be there at noon?

Christmas Eve dinner. Oh, this is just
what I need.

Life hasn't been easy for me since your
father left me for that whore. Merry

Christmas.

Well, you gotta love her. I can't
remember why. I think it's one of the

commandments or something.

Bill, didn't you tell her we were having
Christmas here this year? Oh, Judy, we

could stand here all day and play the
blame game, but I wouldn't fare well in

that discussion, so let's just drop it.
Now, who wants to watch me drink six

beers? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm
not dropping it.

When do I get to have the Christmas Eve
dinner that I've always dreamed of with

turkey or beef or whatever the hell it
is I've decided I've always dreamed of?

Fine, I'll tell her. It's not going to
be easy.

Hey, I know what I'll do. I'll buy her
off. I'll get her a great present.

That'll soften the blow.

Well, if you think that'll work. You
know, she's never liked what we've given

her in the past. That's not true, and I
got the perfect thing. She was going on

and on about how much she loved her old
piano.

Oh, I hated singing around that piano.

Honey, we all hated you singing around
that piano.

I'm getting her a portable keyboard.
She'll love it.

Oh, I hope so. You know, the kids are
getting older and there's only so many

holidays left that we can legally make
them spend with us.

Don't worry.

I'll get you your Miller Christmas with
your turkey or your beef or your

Christmas night dirty lingerie show.

I'm just spitballing here, but that's
where traditions come from, you know.

What a surprise. You came over without
me even calling you three or four times.

But who's counting?

Other than you, nobody.

Look, I put up the Christmas tree.

Doesn't it look beautiful?

Yeah, nothing says Christmas like a tree
that could give you tetanus.

The reason I dropped by, I bought you a
present.

It's an electric keyboard.

I guess you were talking about those
great Christmases we had singing around

piano. An electric keyboard.

I don't have to join the Internet to use
this, do I? No, no, no, no. And the

great thing about this is it's portable.

So you can bring it with you when you
come to our house for Christmas Eve

dinner. We're eating at 6, so be there
no earlier than 5 .30.

What?

But I thought you were coming to my
place.

It's just that Judy's been looking
forward to having our own Christmas. And

don't have the big house like you did in
Joliet. It might be kind of hard to fit

all of us in this tiny apartment.

Oh.

Well, it doesn't seem so tiny when
you're rattling around in it all alone.

Please, Ma.

It'd mean a lot to us.

Well, maybe I could get myself all
bundled up.

Maybe there won't be ice.

Maybe I won't fall and break my hip on
the way over.

I'll risk it, if that's what will make
you happy.

That's the spirit.

I found the needy person I'm going to
help for Christmas.

She works in my office, and I'm going to
take her shopping to fix her up.

But I just brought her by so you can get
a load of her.

I mean, meet her.

Stacy, come on in.

Judy, this is Stacy.

Very nice to meet you, Stacy.

Hi.

If you find a heel on your lawn when the
snow melts, could you call me?

Come by and get it.

Sure.

Yeah, Linda thinks she can give me a
makeover. I told her she was wasting her

time. Ah, hey, uh -uh.

No, that is just ridiculous.

Somewhere inside of you is a beautiful,
confident woman, and we're going to find

her, okay?

We're going to start with that hair.

Just had it done.

Can I use your bathroom? If I sneeze,
I'm going to tinkle.

And I'm gonna sneak. Okay, yeah.

Remember,

Stacy, you're a beautiful person and
everyone knows it.

She's a mess.

I get to fix her and feel good about
myself.

Linda, when you said you were gonna help
the less fortunate, I thought it was

gonna be someone truly needy. Judy,
hello.

Have you seen her hair?

Oh, the Miller family Christmas is back
on.

house, so she liked the keyboard.

Of course she did. She's my mom. I know
what she liked.

So now we can have a nice, quiet, sane
Christmas after all.

I'm locked in the bathroom.

Who's that?

That would be my pathetic person.

Locked herself in the bathroom.

Did I get cold or what?

See? Wasn't that exciting, cutting down
our own tree? Yeah, especially when that

guy started chasing us out of his yard.

to live next door to a cut -down -your
-own -tree lot, you ought to have a

fence.

Okay, where should we put it?

Next to the piano.

Honey, the tree's heavy. Don't tease
Daddy.

I'm not.

Wow,

you gave us a piano.

Wow, you gave her a key.

You said you missed having a piano, and
when you brought me that cute little

one, I took the hint. Oh, don't you love
it, Billy? It's exactly like our old

one. Kids, why don't you go upstairs and
check for other instruments?

Louise, where's our couch?

Oh, the piano man moved it.

But, Mom, none of us plays piano.

Well, that is the rest of the present.
I'm coming over every Saturday to give

you all lessons.

Bill, let's go to the kitchen and mark
our calendar.

We have to tell her we can't keep that
thing. Come on, I already had to take

Christmas away from her. Trust me, she
didn't make that easy.

Are you actually suggesting we keep it?
Our couch is in our kitchen.

Well, it's closer to the fridge.

Bill, your mother has given us lessons
every Saturday.

It's like I say, piano's got to go.

Mom, this is very generous, but we can't
keep it. What?

But I thought you said you loved it when
I played the piano and we sang

Christmas carols.

But it's so big.

Well, you won't let me have you over for
dinner, and you won't let me give you a

gift. So I guess I'll have to wait for
next year to be happy.

It's all taken care of. She left, and
she's taken back the piano. Oh, well,

that's great.

And on an unrelated note, we're having
Christmas Eve dinner at my mom's house.

Bill?

Why did you give away Christmas? I was
talking my mom into taking back the

piano, and she got this crazy idea that
we loved having Christmas at her house.

How'd you get that idea?

I said it. But in my defense, I was
lying.

So, uh, we're cool.

No, we're not cool.

What about the Miller Christmas? Well,
what better place to have Miller

Christmas than with the oldest and
craziest Miller of all?

Fine. But that lady's not taking away my
Christmas Eve dinner. I am bringing my

crown roast and shoving it down her
throat.

So you'll go?

I won't be happy about it.

Honey, it's the holidays. No one's ever
happy.

Now, I know this is not the Christmas
Eve we were planning, but it means a lot

to your grandmother, and we want to make
her happy.

For some reason.

So, let's just make the best of it.
Because when all's said and done, it's

family, and it's still Christmas.

Yes, like ours.

Oh, it's the same one, Tina.

And I'm keeping it for now, just in case
your mommy and daddy change their mind.

Where should I put my crown roast,
Louise?

Oh, well, why don't we put all this
stuff in the kitchen, everybody? Follow

Now I have to open the refrigerator.
Everybody back up a few steps.

There's no making my mother happy. Let
it go, Bill. Embrace the Christmas

spirit.

What are you eating?

Cherries. I found them in your mom's
cabinet. They're delicious.

And milked in brandy.

How many have you had?

Two. But I drank all the juice.

Here's the ham.

Billy, you do the carving.

Where's the crown roast I brought?

Oh, I'm sorry. I dropped that on the
floor.

Christmas good deed. Now, I sent her out
for a makeover, so please, everybody,

you know, just make a big fuss, okay?

Holy crap, you actually look good.

Really? Thank you. Hi, everybody.

Hi. Come on in, gorgeous.

Actually, I can't really stay.

Linda, I took your advice and put myself
out there.

Oh, good for you.

No, I was at Mark McCarthy's Christmas
party last night.

Wait, wait, Mark had a Christmas party?

Oh, it's mostly for people who work on
the fifth floor.

I work on the fifth floor.

Anyway, I was dancing with him, and he
asked me if I wanted to spend Christmas

at his house on the North Shore.

I've been hitting on him for two years.

He still calls me Camara Second.

Yeah,

he says hi.

Merry Christmas, Linda. You're my angel.

Oh, don't let your cats eat that. It's
poisonous.

She's hot.

Whenever I'm sure I'll be waking up
Christmas morning to a rich lawyer, I'll

waking up with a supermarket plant and a
couple of dead cats.

Oh, well, don't worry, honey. I'll cheer
you up. I'll play some carols for you

on the piano.

Rock on, Louise.

And after that, we'll open presents.

I got...

Each and every one of you something
special.

But, Mom, this is nuts.

You can't afford this.

Oh, sure I can. I made money on the
house. And before I moved, I had a big

sale. All those things that I'd never
even opened. A foot massager, a sewing

machine, a food processor.

A bread maker?

Yeah. Those are all gifts I bought you.

And you spent way too much money on me.

I couldn't believe how much I got when I
returned the keyboard.

So, so, you returned my Christmas
present and you sold every gift I've

given you.

Oh, Billy, I don't need all those fancy
things.

An electric can opener?

Who am I? Queen Elizabeth?

Ma, you're not getting it. They were
gifts.

Oh, I don't know what all this fuss is
about. We're having a nice Christmas

dinner. No, no, we're not. We're having
a ridiculous Christmas dinner on top of

a giant piano instead of a lovely meal
at home that this beautiful woman was

slaving over for days.

Come tomorrow.

I don't know why you even came.

Like we had a choice, woman.

Well, we do have a choice, which is why
we're all going home and trying to

salvage whatever Christmas there is
left.

We're out of here.

Fine.

Okay. Brian, you're going to have to go
under.

I am so out of here.

Come on. Come on.

Book underneath it.

A boxcar full of gumdrops for the Candy
Cane Express!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

It's Nana.

I brought someone with me, Tina, to show
you that he's okay.

makes these as part of his physical
therapy.

So I'm surprised you came by.

Well, it is Christmas, and I didn't want
this just hanging in the air between

us. Since you're here, why don't I get
you a coffee?

Oh, coffee sounds nice.

Oh, fresh brewed.

Yummy. Well, you could have it every day
if you'd kept the coffee maker I bought

you.

Look, Billy, I'm sorry I sold the gifts
that you bought me.

It just didn't occur to me that they
meant that much to you.

I mean, I don't need a bread maker.

I'm not Jar Jar Gabor.

So you thought everything I've ever
given you was worthless.

That's not true at all. Whatever.

Underneath my Christmas tree, I put a
picture of my mom and me. I look at it,

and I am glad.

She cheers me up when I am sad.

You wrote this for me when you were in
the second grade.

You kept that?

I kept everything you ever made for me.
All the drawings, all the cards.

But you got rid of everything I bought.

You know, when your father started
cheating on me, he would

buy me all these big fancy gifts. And
then the more time he spent away from

the bigger the gifts got.

What, do you think I'm seeing another
mother on the side?

No. But I think that you buy me gifts so
that you don't have to spend time with

me. And even though I live close now, I
still never see you.

Mom, you know, work and the kids.

Oh, my kid. And I have no excuses for
not spending more time with you.

Tell you what, get a decent TV, I'll
come over more.

You know, I could use a new TV.

Good. How about we start hanging out
right now?

I would love that.

Ooh, a nice suede jacket. You must have
kissed a lot of butt, sweetie.

She seems happy.

What did you say to her? That I'd spend
more time with her. It's all she really

wanted. Oh, Bill, good for you. After
all, it is Christmas.

You didn't promise I'd spend more time
with her, did you?

Oh, Judy, I brought you a jar of those
cherries you like so much.

Merry Christmas, Louise.

Call me Mom.

Give me the cherries.

Tina here.

She's upstairs.

What are you doing?

Tina, honey, could you come down here?

Got my old Santa suit out of the garage.

I'm going to show her that Santa's
nothing to be afraid of.

Fill this box up filled with spiders.

The box is full of spiders. How did they
not get in it?