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I'm going down south, I'm gonna have
myself a time.
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Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks
without temptation.
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I'm going down south, I'm gonna leave my
woes to hide.
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00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,020
And we're parking day on night, people
spouting how to never.
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00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,960
And on up south, I'm gonna see if I
can't unwind.
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Come on down south, I'm gonna meet some
friends of mine.
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It's almost Thanksgiving, and that means
the annual Turkey Trot is nearly upon
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us. How is it that we haven't found one
sponsor to help pay for this event?
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South Park's just fallen on hard times,
Mayor.
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00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:53,590
Nobody's got the money.
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00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:58,230
Tegrity Farms used to be a sponsor of
the Turkey Trot, but as you know, we've
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recently all lost Tegrity, so I'm afraid
we just can't help.
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What about the City Asian Pop -Up Store?
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Can't they help sponsor this year's
race?
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How is she the Asian papa paying for
Turkey Trot? We got to pay tariffs.
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We won't fuck in anybody.
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Let's just face it, Mayor. South Park
businesses are dying and a lot of good
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people have lost their jobs.
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Trash? Anybody got trash?
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Oh, yeah, here's some. Bank shot.
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There has to be a solution, people.
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The Turkey Trot is the one time of year
this town comes together as a community.
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We all need it now more than ever.
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Well... Of course, there is someone
who'd be willing to give South Park a
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of money.
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I mean, they're giving money to everyone
else. Why not us?
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My God.
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That's it.
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This Thanksgiving morning, lace up for
holiday fun and tradition.
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It's the 28th annual Yacht Park Turkey
Trot, sponsored by Saudi Arabia.
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It's a 5K race absolutely stuffed with
Thanksgiving traditions.
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And the first one across the finish line
wins their team $5 ,000.
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Sign up your team now.
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All ages are welcome.
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Disparaging remarks towards the Saudi
royal family are strictly prohibited.
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Start your Thanksgiving with this time
-honored tradition.
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The South Park turkey track.
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$5 ,000, you guys.
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The winner of this year's Turkey Trot
gets $5 ,000 from Saudi Arabia.
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Like, if anybody's going to get money
from Saudi Arabia, it should be us.
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00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:11,200
And just one person has to win the race
and your whole team gets the money?
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Yeah. Dude, that is crazy.
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We should just get a bunch of kids on
our team, and then the chances of one of
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us winning is way better.
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Yeah, but then you've got to split the
prize money more ways.
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It's true, man. I say we keep our team
to four or five runners, Mac.
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Nobody said we wanted you on the team.
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Yeah, you kind of slow us down.
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00:03:28,670 --> 00:03:32,030
Oh, no, no, no, trust me. You want me on
the racing team.
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I happen to be an expert in race
science, you guys.
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I know a way to give our team an optimal
winning advantage.
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Token! Hey, man.
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Listen, I was just wondering whose team
you're thinking of being on for the big
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turkey trot?
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Turkey trot? You know, the big foot race
Thanksgiving morning. First place wins
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5 ,000 bucks for his whole team.
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Oh, I'm not really a runner.
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Yeah, right.
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Of course you're a runner, Token.
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Sorry, guys, just give me one second.
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What the hell is he doing? I don't know.
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All right, look, Token, I'm a racing
science expert, okay?
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The data shows your race always wins
races.
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Whoa, whoa, Token, Token!
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Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.
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If you don't want to race for yourself,
then do it for the needy. Kenny and
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Stan. I mean, Stan's family lost their
home, dude.
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Those guys could really use the money.
And all the analytics show that with you
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on the team, we can't lose.
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Could you just do it for Thanksgiving?
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All right, fine.
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Yes? He said yes!
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Jesus Christ, Mitch.
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A $5 ,000 prize for the turkey trot?
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Everyone in town is going to want to do
this race.
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I was kind of thinking of signing the
family up, sir. We could really use some
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of that Saudi Arabian dough.
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Can't do it, Mitch. We're going to be
busy on race day. Sir!
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00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:56,990
The White House is calling again.
They're demanding we release the
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Tell them we're busy. But they said if
we don't comply, they're going to send
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00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:02,470
Pete Hegseth and the Department of War.
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00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:04,550
Who's Pete Hegseth?
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00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:13,030
Yeah! Yeah!
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00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:18,540
Hey, what's up, guys? It's Pete
Hegsteth, the Department of War!
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00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:22,740
We're here to infiltrate this police
station and extract a P .O .Y., because
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that's what we do!
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Howdy, soldier!
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The President of the United States
orders you to release custody of the
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to me immediately.
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00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,500
I've warned you, I had powerful friends.
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00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:43,780
Yeah, well, Totoro still has to be
processed and seen by a judge.
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And we have a big turkey trot to deal
with, so it's gonna be a few days.
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Hey, man, I don't think you understand.
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You're messing with the Department of
War.
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And we mean business. We don't stand
down for anyone. Be sure to like and
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00:05:56,300 --> 00:06:03,160
subscribe. All right, let's do this. All
right, I certainly don't want to tangle
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00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,099
with you guys.
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00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:07,900
How about you just push the secret
button in the floor over here, and the
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00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:09,160
cell doors will all open.
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00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,220
The secret button? Yeah, it's in the
floor right there. You see it? It's
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00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:18,240
right... Now get your little bitch ass
out of my town.
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Oh, you.
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I dare you to do that again.
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00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:36,180
Okay,
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00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,980
and did you already register your racing
team online?
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Yeah, it's Jimbo and Ned.
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We're racing with the Kiwanis Gun Club.
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Yes, here you go. Good luck with the
race. Happy Thanksgiving and Ayesha Khur
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Saeed. Uh, it's Mackie. Mr.
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Mackie. Okay, Mr.
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00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,280
Mackie. And how many on your team?
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Well, I'm not on no team, okay? I need
that sweet Saudi Arabian money off of my
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00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,920
sales. All right, guys, we got our
racing numbers. Damn, dude, there's so
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00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,560
people signing up. How are we ever going
to win?
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00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,960
Don't worry, you guys. I've been scoping
out the competition.
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00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,320
That group over there is the Rotary
Club. They won last year, but they're
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00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,400
like, old now.
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00:07:13,460 --> 00:07:17,060
Over there is the city pop -up team. The
race sign says they'll race smart, but
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00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:18,640
not necessarily fat, so we're good
there.
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00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:19,860
Oh, hey, Stan.
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You gonna do the turkey trot this year?
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00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:22,940
Yeah, you guys are, too?
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00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:25,100
Hell yeah, we are. $5 ,000?
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00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,140
Oh, yeah, I'm sure all four of you
ladies have a really awesome chance of
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winning. There's actually five of us.
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00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,800
Hey, guys, what's up?
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00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,840
They're teaching race science to girls
now?
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00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,460
What the hell kind of country are we
living in?
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00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,840
Commitment. Strength.
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00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,920
The ability to obliterate our enemies.
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00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,360
That is the Department of War.
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00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:58,400
What's up, guys? I'm Pete Henseth.
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00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:02,940
We're outside this woke liberal town
that is actually defying our government.
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00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:07,340
And nobody defies the Department of War.
Pete Henseth will do whatever it takes.
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00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:12,150
I'm here to kick bubble gum and chew
ass, and I'm all out of ass.
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00:08:12,610 --> 00:08:15,150
I'll do whatever's necessary to get the
job done.
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00:08:15,970 --> 00:08:17,310
Oh, yeah, look at that.
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00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,910
That's the President of the United
States calling me right now.
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00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:22,250
Yes, Mr. President.
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00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:25,730
Agnes, what the fuck are you doing?
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00:08:25,990 --> 00:08:27,470
Did you get Peter Thiel?
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00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:31,290
No, sir, we were unable to extract the
prisoner. We were met with resistance
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00:08:31,290 --> 00:08:32,970
from the woke local police force.
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00:08:33,289 --> 00:08:37,530
God damn it, we gave you one job to do.
We need Peter Thiel here.
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00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,520
the white house. Sir, yes, sir. I'm
going to need the full might of the
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00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,900
Department of War. I'll need all our
tanks and guns and deeds.
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00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:46,340
Then you've got it.
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Just get us the prisoner no matter what
it takes.
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Hell, yeah.
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00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,420
And heads up. Don't just make a bunch of
content.
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Like, actually go and do something.
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00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:02,540
Be sure to like and subscribe, guys.
Yes, sir, Mr. President. I will make
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00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:03,540
town pay.
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00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:06,340
God, you're such a douchebag.
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00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,460
All right, men, we'll have a full army
here by tomorrow.
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00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:15,680
And then that small town cop is going to
see he messed with the wrong guy.
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00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:30,340
It's the morning of the big race, and
all of South Park appears to have turned
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00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:32,040
out in the spirit of community.
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00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:36,820
People are putting on their numbers and
rocking out their festive costumes.
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00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,780
I'm with Police Chief Harris, and Chief,
your guys have been working overtime.
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00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:46,440
Yeah, well, we just want to make sure
everyone has a safe Thanksgiving
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00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:50,720
We want people to stay hydrated and be
responsible. Let's have a good turkey
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00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,340
drive. Now, of course, there's a lot of
money on the line for the team of the
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00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:57,860
race winner, and so some people are
turning to race science.
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00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:01,740
That's right. You know, a lot of people
these days want to debunk science. You
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00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:04,540
know, vaccine, cause autism, jet fuel,
leave chemtrails.
167
00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:07,200
But when it comes to racing, science is
science.
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00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,120
Certainly a lot of runners hoping to
cash in today.
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00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,800
So may the best turkey win.
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00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,560
All right, you guys ready to run? We got
this. Come on, team, let's go. We're
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00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:21,890
soaking. Oh, you didn't hear?
172
00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:23,170
I didn't hear what?
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00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:24,690
Tolkien says he's not going to race.
174
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:29,550
What do you mean Tolkien's not going to
race? He said because it's being
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sponsored by Saudi Arabia, he's bowing
out for political reasons.
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00:10:32,350 --> 00:10:33,950
Are you fucking joking?
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00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:36,290
No. God damn it, wait here!
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00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:42,850
Welcome, everyone, to the 28th annual
South Park Turkey Trot!
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This is a wonderful turnout, and I'm
sure you'll all help me in thanking this
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year's sponsor, Saudi Arabia.
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00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:00,750
Holy shit!
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00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:06,370
Holy shit, we've got an Antifa uprising!
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00:11:06,890 --> 00:11:11,130
All right, Department of War, listen up!
The people of this town are starting an
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00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:12,130
insurrection!
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00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:15,310
But they will not stand in the way of us
getting our man!
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00:11:18,270 --> 00:11:19,270
Token!
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00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,070
Token!
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00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:22,730
Token!
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00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:28,550
Dude, what the hell are you doing?
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00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:31,990
Playing Ark Raiders. The guy said you're
not going to race because it's being
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00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:34,850
sponsored by Saudi Arabia? Yeah, just
doesn't feel right.
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00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:36,590
It doesn't feel right.
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00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:39,190
Yeah, doesn't feel right. It doesn't
feel right!
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00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:43,270
What, Tolkien, you don't like that Saudi
Arabia is buying American stuff?
195
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,190
They're trying to be progressive, okay?
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00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,110
You want them to go back to what they
were doing?
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00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:50,250
Do you want Saudi Arabia to just go back
to cutting people up and paying Kevin
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00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:51,570
Hart? Is that what you want?
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00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:55,170
I can't see the screen. Tolkien, you
can't whine about a country trying to
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00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:56,170
into the 21st century.
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00:11:56,450 --> 00:12:00,190
Them wanting to help pay for American
things is good. Because guess what? If
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00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:03,210
Saudi Arabia is out paying for sporting
events, they're not out hacking up
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00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:05,130
reporters and inviting Pete Davidson to
come do comedy.
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All right, everyone, on your mark.
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00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:24,150
Get set.
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00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:36,010
Holy shit!
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00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:37,890
Shots fired! Shots fired!
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00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:40,510
Get set up over there! We need content!
209
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:41,830
Now!
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00:12:42,350 --> 00:12:45,990
What's up, guys? Pete Hex at Department
of War. We are being fired upon.
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00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:48,970
There's an uprising here, some kind of
insurrection.
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00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:50,790
Be sure to like and subscribe.
213
00:12:55,970 --> 00:13:00,550
You can hear the liberal terrorists all
screaming and chanting behind us. We're
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00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:03,790
going to take them on. Just another day
in the Department of War. Let's move
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00:13:03,790 --> 00:13:08,650
out. Did you know that since 2018, they
actually allow women to drive in Saudi
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00:13:08,650 --> 00:13:11,210
Arabia? They allow women to drive.
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00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,360
It's like practically a lesbian utopia
over there.
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00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:17,500
Can you please just let me enjoy my
Thanksgiving morning?
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00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,940
Oh, yeah, sure. Who cares about lesbian
utopia? Not Token.
220
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:24,620
Token wants Saudi Arabia to just keep
chopping off gay people's heads. That's
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00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,920
way better, isn't it? You're being a
dick, bro. Go away.
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00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:32,160
All right, Token, you know what?
223
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:36,220
Fine. If you really don't want to be a
part of our country embracing Saudi
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00:13:36,220 --> 00:13:38,860
Arabia's desire to change, then we don't
need you.
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00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:01,940
Gotta get that money!
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00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,500
The rioting terrorists appear to be
advancing north -northeast.
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00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:12,840
Our plan, gentlemen, is to intercept
them at this location here and get as
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00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,460
content as we possibly can.
229
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:19,420
It's quite possible we'll also be
needing to get content in this area, so
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00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:22,520
ready. Third Battalion, you'll be
posting up here.
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00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,460
I want you posting on Instagram and
Twitter.
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00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,160
Alpha Team, post here. Bravo Team,
content there.
233
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,060
All right, everyone, stand by.
234
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,300
At ease, soldier. We heard there's a
civilian uprising.
235
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,700
Yeah, we don't need Homeland Security's
help. We got it. We're just here to
236
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:42,880
assist in any way we can.
237
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,780
That's what Homeland Security does.
238
00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:48,980
Be sure to like and subscribe, guys.
We've got it. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
239
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,060
is not your content.
240
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,640
Everyone like and subscribe to the
Department of War.
241
00:15:04,199 --> 00:15:07,660
Come on. Come on. You got this. I got
it.
242
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,600
God damn it.
243
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:17,120
Give me my Xbox.
244
00:15:17,820 --> 00:15:18,820
Okay.
245
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,660
How can you not catch up to me?
246
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:24,480
You're not even flying.
247
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,160
I am trying.
248
00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:28,700
I told you.
249
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:56,100
Homeland Security to Department of War.
The protesters are headed your way.
250
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,040
Stand down, Homeland Security.
251
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,580
This is our content.
252
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,360
There's too many of them.
253
00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:15,080
Here they come.
254
00:16:15,420 --> 00:16:16,900
Everyone hold your positions.
255
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,180
Department of War will not be
intimidated.
256
00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:47,150
I can't say nothing.
257
00:16:47,510 --> 00:16:51,350
I think... Token!
258
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:52,590
Token!
259
00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:18,869
Well, how the hell are we supposed to
raise if they've blocked the road?
260
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:27,829
Look, all I know is that the Stotch
family is in big financial trouble this
261
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,870
year. We have to reach that finish line.
262
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:34,390
You think you've fucked? We gotta pay
tariff. That prize money's our only
263
00:17:34,390 --> 00:17:37,090
cheese. Does anyone have a turkey trot
route map?
264
00:17:37,650 --> 00:17:39,090
Yeah, I've got one here.
265
00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:40,330
All right, let's see.
266
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:46,510
So if this area's all blocked off, then
our best chance of getting to the finish
267
00:17:46,510 --> 00:17:47,970
line is detouring through here.
268
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:50,750
No, no, we should go this way, through
the underpass.
269
00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:52,130
Are you crazy?
270
00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:54,770
That's too much of a shortcut. We could
get disqualified.
271
00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:57,950
All that matters is that it's okay with
Saudi Arabia.
272
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:00,750
Would going this way be okay with Saudi
Arabia?
273
00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:04,950
There's no way to be sure what Saudi
Arabia wants.
274
00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:07,810
All I know is I need their money.
275
00:18:08,690 --> 00:18:11,230
So I'm going to go out there and take my
chances.
276
00:18:18,510 --> 00:18:21,930
That's Pete Hecht's death department of
war. We've got the narco terrorists on
277
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:24,350
the run and we're going to take them
out. Yeah!
278
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:30,350
Pete Hecht's death is a fucking bitch.
279
00:18:31,970 --> 00:18:36,430
Pete Hecht's death is a fucking bitch.
280
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:41,810
Acting like a tough guy, posting it
around the world.
281
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,950
Like a little teenage girl.
282
00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:14,630
I don't know what you think you're
doing, but I'm pretty sure I told you to
283
00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:15,710
the hell out of my town.
284
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:17,390
Oh, yeah?
285
00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:20,250
Well, what do you think you're going to
do about it?
286
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:24,730
Hello?
287
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:27,330
Hello?
288
00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:29,310
Anybody?
289
00:19:29,410 --> 00:19:30,410
Give me my Xbox!
290
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:37,670
What is your problem, man?
291
00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:40,110
You could have made this an amazing
Thanksgiving.
292
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,970
But Stan, bikini.
293
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:45,650
But you just want to play games.
294
00:19:46,570 --> 00:19:51,010
For the last time, just because I'm
black doesn't mean I run fast.
295
00:19:51,670 --> 00:19:53,290
Yes, you do.
296
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:57,590
You just weren't trying because you have
a problem with Saudi Arabia joining the
297
00:19:57,590 --> 00:20:01,290
global community. That has nothing to do
with you being a racist. Oh, I'm a
298
00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:05,090
racist. You want Saudi Arabia to just
keep stuffing journalists in your
299
00:20:05,090 --> 00:20:06,670
suitcases, but I'm the racist.
300
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:10,270
I'm going home. Okay, fine. Forget it.
301
00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:14,280
Yeah, I will forget it. And I can think
whatever I want.
302
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:18,960
Okay, you're right, Token. Yeah, I know
I'm right. Okay, that's key. Have a good
303
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,780
Thanksgiving, man. I will have a good
Thanksgiving because I won't be
304
00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:22,980
to your stupid bullshit.
305
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,200
Yep, sounds good. Enjoy the holiday with
your loved ones.
306
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,420
Oh, God damn it.
307
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,640
Yes! Ray Science!
308
00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:40,380
Ray Science!
309
00:20:44,650 --> 00:20:50,030
On behalf of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
and His Royal Highness Mohammed bin
310
00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:55,870
Salman Al Saud, this year's Turkey Trot
Grand Prize goes to the team of South
311
00:20:55,870 --> 00:20:58,350
Park's very own Token Black!
312
00:21:03,890 --> 00:21:05,010
We did it, dude!
313
00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:09,570
It's right there, you see it? Right
there!
314
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,950
There you go, almost there!
315
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,340
Guys, that about wraps it up. Let's get
home and eat some turkey.
316
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,820
You son of a bitch! The president will
come for us!
317
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:30,500
Yeah, maybe so.
318
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:32,220
Judge will see you Monday.
319
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,440
South Park's gonna pay for this.
320
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:38,580
They're all gonna pay.
321
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,200
What you gonna do now?
322
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,000
Everybody's laughing at you.
323
00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:58,280
You kids are gonna hear this and their
friends will watch it too.
324
00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:01,120
They'll be singing.
25958
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