Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Good evening,

and welcome to Movie Corner.

The Halloween special.

I'm Cort Tomlinson,

and we've got a whopper of a spook show for you tonight,

but that's not how it's pronounced.

I'm talking about the cult classic

in the horror movie genre,

and holy Quasimodo, does it have a back story.

1975, GlassGirl Magazine puts out an article

about a young Pennsylvania mother named Dorothy Schepp.

In this piece, she claims that her and her four children

are being tormented by something Meemaw would call

"The heebie-geebies."

We're talking spooky sounds, paranoia,

things being in a way they ought not be.

And so this terrifying story goes out into the world,

and who of all people reads it,

but the wife of film producer Daniel Gerby.

Gerby ends up buying Dorothy's story

for a mere $17,000.

I have more than that in late fees

at Movie Gallery right now.

The film starts rolling.

They hire director George L. Schmidt,

who's credited with the decision

to shoot the film in the actually Schepp family home.

Right where all the terrorizing took place to begin with.

Fast forward, 1979.

The film premieres to disappointing reviews,

and is a box office bomb.

But, things turned around in the video rental market,

as it became a cult classic.

Ladies and gentlemen,

starring Wanda Best and Duncan Lund,

it's-

Look at that.

Franky, watch your brothers.

Even the mold in this hotel ain't safe from ya.

What are you doing?

Was just trying to get a feel for the place.

It is something, isn't it?

What, the cellar?

Well, the whole thing.

Needs a little work.

Haul this crud out, first thing.

Oh, I kinda like it.

It gives me the creeps.

But, school's a stone's throw away,

and store's not much further.

How are my odds?

Well, if they were any worse,

I'd probably still be Kareck.

Welcome home, Pete.

Clint, is that you?

- You look good. - Thanks.

17 pounds since August.

Took your advice on the Paleo.

Right on, right on.

What are you doing, Pete?

Whole thing's a disaster.

Had to crosscheck the wiring by the South wall.

Set me back a little,

but we should be in the green now.

Sure you want to blow up your mom's house?

Maybe we should talk about this.

Teri's here.

Love to talk, Clint, but there's no time.

Got an early flight.

Don't suppose you ran it by the fire marshal.

Does he have a Chem E Doctorate?

Pete! Let's go in the house.

Hey, Ter.

Wow, I didn't think you two were still-

- We're not.

I brought Clint here to arrest you.

Oh, I didn't realize he had the authority.

It's a citizen's arrest.

I know it's none of my business,

but I always thought you two were good together.

Remember your engagement party by the lake.

Aside from arson,

this is a crime against your mother's memory.

Wow, where were you for the eulogy, Clint?

Cut the crap, Pete.

What a weekend.

Tequila volleyball, jet skis.

What was the name of that song

you two were singing all weekend?

Was it Cyndi Lauper?

Think about what your brothers would say

if they found out about this.

Pat Benatar.

"Like A Prayer."

Oh yeah.

Can you believe that was 15 years ago?

Since then, the lake house has been bulldozed,

you two got divorced,

but we'll always have the memory.

Isn't that what matters?

I don't want to sell the house any more than you do, Pete.

But this? This is crazy!

I've got a half pound of C4 by the central foundations,

and then another by the South wall,

and another by the North.

It'll be like the fourth of July.

I got sandbags to protect us.

I'll get more sandbags.

Well what are you gonna do about your nephew?

- Vincent? - He's living here.

Been here for weeks.

- Why? - I don't know, Pete!

Why don't you go talk to him?

Or are you just gonna blow him up, too?

Theo can take care of it.

Is that supposed to be a joke?

Grief works in funny ways.

I see his point, though.

It's the honorable thing to do.

Blowing her into smithereens.

Noted.

Thanks for the lift.

You are welcome.

Maybe I should stay until this thing diffuses itself.

I got this.

Take it easy on him, Ter.

Been through a lot, all of you.

Last thing Dorothy would want

is to have you fighting with each other.

Happy trails, Clint.

What are you doing?

I don't have time for this.

The kid's a space cadet.

Don't tell me you're calling-

- Yeah I am.

Pete!

For all that is holy, do not call-

- I told him what I tell all my customers.

I said, I mean, sure,

there's all sorts of variety.

There's spring, there's foam, there's gel,

there's the hybrids.

And yeah, a waterbed might be a little heavier,

maybe not as stylish,

but a mattress is probably is as important

as a mortgage or a car payment.

You gotta be able to trust your mattress

the way you trust your wife.

He comes home from work, stretches himself out

on a heated Schepp waterbed,

and he knows he's made the right choice.

And then I say, "It's like my dad used to say.

Anybody can get a good night's sleep anywhere,

as long as they've got a clean conscience."

But in this day in age, who's got one of those?

That's where your Schepp waterbed will come in.

So did he buy?

No, not yet.

He said he wanted to look online

at some of these NASA space beds.

But he'll be back.

You ever try memory foam?

Who am I, Kurt Cobain?

Only asking.

Nothing but premium Schepp waterbeds in my house.

You in the market?

I'm happy with a waterless situation at the moment.

Well then what are you still doing here?

I figured you'd be the first one at the airport

after the funeral.

Just wanted to give the house one final goodbye.

He's helping Franky and I get this place settled.

It's a lot of work for two people.

A lot.

A lot.

You want to help, Theo?

I gotta be at the shop.

I mean, now that Franky's retired.

You know, the business dad started.

All I meant was there's nothing around here

you think you can take with you?

While we're on the subject,

who took Senior's arm chair out of the den?

- Beats me. - Come on.

I know one of you has been swiping dad's stuff.

Like I don't have enough

of Senior's old junk already.

So Vincent, have you decided on your major yet?

Oh, don't get me started.

Don't get him started.

Go ahead, Vincent.

Tell your Uncle Pete what you're gonna major in.

Viking Culture.

Viking Culture.

Can you believe that's even a major?

It's no wonder a secondary education

isn't worth shit anymore.

Kinda like this house.

Especially this house.

Franky, are you gonna eat anything?

Don't eat.

He's right, shouldn't eat this stuff.

This stuff?

This is pizza.

That is gluten, dairy, and tomato paste.

Will you please give it up

with this gluten free bullshit?

I'm sure there's a couple of newlyweds out there

that would find this house to be

a perfect place to start a family.

Like mom and dad.

I would rather go down to the gas station,

put my lips around the pump, suck it dry,

and then try to light matches with my butt cheeks

than have this place turned over

to some bunch of bums.

What bums?

Do you guys even get that this place

is like a big deal to some people?

Right.

No, seriously.

There's so many forums online about this place.

Oh, here we go.

Forums?

Like, about The Whooper?

Forums, fan fictions, cos-plays, you name it.

Wait, you're telling me somebody

has actually seen that movie in the past 20 years.

Well, they show it at Halloween in theaters.

Kind of like a retro revival.

Yeah, well, dad had another word for that.

Maybe so, but everyone knows

that the story is fiction.

Fiction?

Made up.

This house isn't really haunted.

Some might debate that.

- Who, exactly? - Well, grandma, for one.

Vincent, grandma liked to tell stories. Loved it.

When she would go down to the salon on the weekends,

that's all those ladies did.

Once, somebody took something she said as fact,

and the next thing you know,

a movie studio was knocking on the door,

promising us this and that.

Ruined my sophomore year in high school.

None of us were ever haunted by our toys,

or had exorcisms performed on our stuffed animals.

All I remember from that time

was bouncing checks and waterbeds.

Well you can believe what you want.

And you can go on those chat rooms,

and tell everyone that Peter Schepp says

that there's no such thing as a Whooper.

What does that prove?

Aren't I a character in the story?

That doesn't make it yours.

The Whooper belongs to the fans now.

Pete, let it go.

Ticket sales, box office revenue.

That doesn't make any sense to this kid.

Reality doesn't make any sense to this kid.

If you'll please excuse me.

Is that the best you could do in handling that?

Look, everything's all hookies

and wog-warts with this kid, alright?

The more time he spends here,

the better it's gonna be for everybody.

Trust me.

May I help you?

I'm here to see the house.

You talk to the realty company?

I talked to Franky on the phone.

It's late.

One sec.

A realtor, get rid of this place.

Don't you, Teri?

Please, come in.

Cathy, Cathy Shingle.

This is my sister.

Teri, I know.

Can I serve you something?

Coffee, tea, water, milk?

Where did you park?

It's even more beautiful in person.

You kept all of the original trim.

Our family wasn't too familiar

with the idea of remodeling.

We're selling it as is.

That's perfect.

I can't wait to show this to my babies.

How many do you have?

Four.

Must be a handful.

My brother told you it's a three-bedroom?

That's fine, just fine.

What's this, the friggin' pasta-razzi?

Don't mind them.

They get like this after you feed them.

No need to apologize.

I remember how hard things were after I lost daddy.

This must be such a difficult time for you all.

I can't believe they're all here, they're all here.

Franky, tour?

What?

Don't be a douche!

To who, the creep?

So she's a little unusual.

She looks like she raided your high school wardrobe.

She does.

I'm sorry, what's that?

Grownups can't hear you.

Christmas tree.

Rocking horse.

Pipes.

Basket.

More baskets.

Here's the washing machine.

A hunter built this place after the war.

He used to skin his game down here.

Coyotes, mostly.

One day, the hunter killed something else out there.

Something he had never seen before.

A creature that resembled the folklore

of the Iroquois tribes.

Unknowingly, the hunter brought his strange kill

back to this cellar.

He disappeared sometime later,

but the mark of the creature remained.

The Whooper?

Everybody's seen that movie.

My babies and I watch it all the time.

It's not for babies.

Are these yours?

My grandma's.

Once they weren't worth anything,

she just boxed them up.

Well, what's it worth to you?

I would sell everything to get her back.

Oh, there you are.

I've got something to show you.

My favorite bathroom is down here.

Boy, I hope that lady

doesn't find all that lead paint.

That'd be a disaster.

Oh, hey guys.

Didn't mean to interrupt the tour.

Did they say lead paint?

I don't think so.

There's no lead paint down here, Miss Shingle.

Same as these pipes.

This house has its quirks,

but we were all raised here,

and look how we turned out.

Wait, maybe that's not the best example.

What he's trying to say is that

we wouldn't put you or your family in danger

just to make some money.

They're just jacking around, Miss Shingle.

Your kids could probably eat the paint chips

right off the wall.

See? Latex, non-toxic.

My father repainted this house back in the 80s.

Franky.

Do you want to see me eat a chip of paint?

Don't eat paint, Franky.

It's that safe.

- Let me try. - Vincent!

I wanted to thank you all so much for your hospitality.

I could not be more in love with this house.

Now, will you take a personal check?

Is it from a local bank?

Thanks, we'll consider it.

Look, just give my brother

a couple days to think about it.

If there's a problem with the amount,

I'd be happy to increase it.

I've thought about it.

We'll give you a call. You got a card?

No, I'm afraid I can't leave this house

until there's a deal.

See? She can't wait.

Miss, my brother isn't thinking straight.

We've been through a lot

with the death of my mother and all.

You'll understand.

Of course.

That's exactly why I'm here.

Your mother meant so much to me.

Please, I have to have this house.

- Please! - Alright really?

The house is not for sale.

That's impossible.

We're keeping it.

That's not what she wanted.

Dorothy, your mother,

could not leave the house to you,

- I'm sorry. - Frank,

where did you get this lunatic?

No matter what they say, no matter what,

she made me promise right before she died,

she made me promise.

That's it, I'm out.

This has been very interesting,

but I'm really sure that you need to go.

Grandma, a note from grandma.

Whatever it takes, no matter what my family says,

get this house from them by any means necessary.

You see?

She wanted us to have the house.

I'm sorry, she loved you, but she was hurt.

You know, I think I'll go and take a walk,

and let you guys think of a suitable amount.

But please, don't make this harder

than it already is.

What are you talking about, Dorothy?

It's the kids.

They think that their critters are coming to life.

Do you know how you sound right now?

I know, I know it sounds crazy,

but what if it's not the stuffed animals?

What if it's something inside of them?

They're kids, they have imaginations.

We need to leave this house.

I don't feel safe.

Why don't we just go home?

- Isn't this home? - No.

There is something in that house.

You don't know it because you're never there,

but I feel it, and I am telling you.

Don't you remember living in the city?

Having the night shifts, the mill.

I know, but this is different, Frank.

I won't go back to that, Dorothy.

I worked too damn hard, and I won't do it.

The Schepp family has never escaped

the shadow of The Whooper.

Despite its home video success,

they never received a dime.

In more recent news,

they've even sued the studio

for their lost royalties.

Rumor has it that Frank Schepp

has even declared bankruptcy.

After this break,

we'll be reading viewer emails.

Stay with us.

Who am I talking to?

Something's a fact because you saw it online?

It could have been Photoshopped or something.

Right, Vince?

Well if it was real,

it's gotta be the only fan mail she ever got.

I'm surprised she didn't adopt her.

She never told me about any of this.

Oh, you asked?

Look, none of this is legal material.

It'll never hold up in court.

We can blow her off as long as it takes.

But if it's what grandma really wanted.

Vincent, stay out of this.

If mom didn't want Franky to have the house,

she wouldn't have left it to him in her will.

Right, Franky?

Senior left her the house when he died.

And she couldn't amend it in her last will.

That's 'cause he didn't trust her with anything,

not even in death.

Don't tell me you're thinking

about selling it to this woman.

It's my think to think.

Christ!

Mom didn't actually know this Cathy.

Did Cathy ever visit mom when she was alive?

Did she ever change the sheets?

Or a bed pan?

The market's bad right now.

Why does it have to be a price point?

Why can't we just let it go?

Let it be a memory.

What, are you afraid of something?

Of what, of Whooper?

I don't believe in it as paranormal.

More of a supernatural abstract.

Maybe it's not something that we can touch or measure,

but it's something we experience.

Like a thought.

Or a memory.

He's always been afraid.

We used to lock him in this cellar

until he'd kick and scream to high heaven.

Well, I was four.

We did it when you were 16, too.

That was before he became Dr. Peter.

Don't change the subject.

Want to do it again?

What, stay down in the cellar?

I'll go down in the cellar.

- In your dreams. - Guys.

- Piece of cake. - Your funeral.

- Want to make a bet? - Sure.

If you can stay down in the cellar

long enough to finish a six pack,

I'll give you 50 bucks.

You're on.

You're leaving?

Well, unless you want to open the shop tomorrow.

Be my guest.

What about the crazy lady in the yard?

I wouldn't worry about her.

If she gets out of hand, call Clint.

He'll know what to do.

Oh hey, if you find that Beef-a-roni recipe,

send me a text, alright?

County is currently

under a Winter storm watch.

- Theo, what's the- - Hey hey hey.

Remember that problem we had?

Yeah, well I think I fixed it.

What are you talking about?

Just get out here, out front, hurry up.

- You think she's- - I don't know!

She was just standing there in the middle of the road.

You didn't see her in the mirror?

We gotta call Clint.

- Clint? - Yeah.

He'll know what to do.

- Yeah, call an ambulance. - No, no ambulance.

I'm sorry, what are you suggesting

Clint knows how to do?

Well you know, clean it up.

You think Clint knows how to dispose a body?

The man would open a vein for you, you know that.

Besides, who's gonna help us with all this?

- Us? - Yes, us.

You! You, not us!

Look at the big picture.

This could destroy the whole family.

Ruin everything dad worked for.

This is like the final nail in the waterbed.

I will take no part in this.

Fine, you don't want to help me, don't.

Do it for mom.

Son of a bitch.

Hey! Hey!

You want to put something online,

I'll give you something to put online!

Theo!

Teri!

This is all his stuff.

Teri!

Look, I,

I know you hate your father.

But he's not so bad.

Your grandfather was much worse.

We only saw him in the morning on the way to work.

He rarely spoke.

Well, you shouldn't have left it out

in the first place.

Ugh!

Your dad kicked the chair under the table.

Now, we were the only ones to see it,

but for a second,

it was like the whole rotation of the Earth ceased,

and we were all suspended.

The next few weeks,

it was all mom would talk about.

The whole story of the movie,

we reinvented it, by accident.

Well, now you know.

Thanks, Uncle Franky,

but currently I don't have any room

for unverifiable verbal testimony in my research.

Hey, how long does it take

to polish off a six pack?

Pete, Pete!

Still a lightweight, huh?

Oh, Senior would be so pissed at you.

Come on.

There's something,

something down here.

Oh no, no, this way, this way, this way.

Almost there.

There you go.

I guess you're gonna have to reschedule that flight.

Oh yeah.

Franky?

Peter.

Get out of here, move!

God I'm sorry.

What the hell?

It was either him or you.

People can get so disgusting.

What is that thing?

Don't you remember this?

Pete made it, like in seventh grade,

for some science fair.

Is Teri with you?

No, no no, I haven't seen her.

Maybe we should contact the authorities, or something.

We're trespassing.

Come on, Vincent, pick up.

One, two, three.

- Get out of here. - Get him out of there.

- Come on, get him out. - Come on.

Get him.

Son of a...

It's Vincent's phone!

Must be some kind of fetish thing.

Well, they came to the wrong house.

Where's my son? Where's my boy?

Where's Vincent?

Is this a joke to you, is that what this is?

Is this some kind of joke?

I'll show you a joke.

I will put this ball bearing right up your ass.

You're gonna waddle out of here instead of walking.

Now where is my son?

Theo, that's not gonna help us.

When I walked in this room,

one of these things was about to kill you.

But we've gotta keep our cool.

I am cool!

- Oh Theo. - I'm cool.

Now what is your plan?

We need to find Teri and Vincent,

and get the hell out of here.

All that missing stuff Teri was talking about,

dad's stuff.

I found it out in the woods,

out in the middle of nowhere,

all stacked up like it was some sort of nest.

I don't know what these people are up to,

but I don't think they planned on us holding out.

Yeah, well, this,

this is gonna complicate things.

You know, the second best way to get a customer

by the balls?

An undeniable markdown.

But you know the first?

- What? - Insurance.

They've got Vincent.

They're gonna use him to get

whatever it is they want.

But now, we've got one of theirs.

Clint?

Clint.

Oh hey, Ter.

What happened with us, Ter?

There's something you have to know.

In the emails from your mother, I found something.

One of your brothers, they knew.

They signed off on this deal

before Cathy ever got here.

What? Who?

Oh, this is all a setup.

You gotta get out of here.

Not without you.

I'm gonna slow you down.

You gotta run.

Stay with me, Clint.

Don't quit on me.

I never quit.

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We'll be right back with more Movie Corner.

Sweet boy.

Sweet, sweet boy.

Mama's so proud of you.

So, so proud.

You know better than to speak

when you're under the spell.

We're finally here where we belong, in our safe place.

Aren't we happy? Aren't we having fun?

Aren't we?

We've waited too long for this,

and now we will enjoy it

for the rest of our days, together.

Guys, guys!

Hand over the teenager!

You got two minutes!

They don't want to play with us.

Fine.

Their time is up, and they don't belong here anymore.

I was generous because I felt sorry for them,

and look what that got us.

If they won't give us what is ours,

then we must take it!

Last chance, guys.

Hand over the teenager.

Or it's off to the batting cage for this one.

Look, I don't want to draw this out,

and hopefully we can resolve this,

for your friend's sake.

You think we're messing around,

you're badly mistaken.

This is all our house,

and you answer to us!

They're moving around.

Where?

They'll be coming down.

Just keep your eye on the stairs.

Just like we planned.

What are they doing?

I don't know.

You've got two minutes!

This has got to be wired wrong.

It can't be right.

Damn it, Pete!

What are you doing?

Stick with the plan.

Damn it, Pete.

Now is not the time to fool around-

Damn it, Pete!

Freeze!

Freeze, all of you,

or I blow this whole place to hell.

I'm holding a remote to four pounds of C4 wired

to the foundation of the house.

Hi babies, it's mama.

I just want to let you know everything's fine.

Teri's just a little rattled right now.

Rattled?

Do I look rattled to you?

Does anybody else here think I'm rattled?

Show of hands.

It's not funny to joke like that, Teri.

Teri, Teri, it's Franky.

He's not moving.

I think it's his blood pressure.

We gotta get him to a hospital quick.

No one moves.

What?

No one leaves here until I get some answers.

Franky is not moving.

Someone down there is lying to all of us.

I don't understand.

One of you knew about this caveat long before.

One of you put us into this mess.

Sure, mom may have been losing it towards the end.

She may have given Cathy the house,

and not her own flesh and blood.

But she couldn't have sent years of emails herself.

Computer illiterate, hands mangled from arthritis.

And she definitely couldn't have sent any emails

a week after she died.

I don't follow.

I saw the emails,

and I saw the time stamps.

She had help.

Someone was using her account

to talk to Cathy long after she passed.

Someone set us up.

I'm sure there's another explanation.

Really? I would love one.

Teri, listen to what you're saying!

I mean, look, they're just trying to get into your head.

This is all part of their plan.

You were always good

at making other people look guilty, Theo.

You know what, I'm gonna forget

that you even said that.

And then again, like father like son.

Maybe the fan boy was in on it all along.

He's been here all this time.

Got along with Cathy so well.

Vincent?

Or is it possible

that the only one of us who wanted to

give the house to her is behind this.

He'd sell that place out in a heartbeat,

as long as it lined his wallet.

Wait a minute, here.

And then there's the psycho,

who rigged our mom's basement with plastic explosives.

Could it have been him?

Hey Pete, how do I know this thing works?

Is there a button I press?

Or maybe, it was all of you.

The prodigal sons return to take back what's theirs.

You four were like leaves in the breeze while I stayed.

I stayed by her side.

I watched her wither away.

You think you're the only one that sacrificed?

Franky and I tied ourselves

to that sinking ship of a business

the day Senior passed away.

You don't think I wanted to just disappear?

Move out West, to some suburb or something,

and forgot about everything?

Maybe it's you.

Maybe you wanted someone

to take the pressure off of your shoulders.

Maybe you're looking for a scapegoat.

You said it yourself.

You were there all by yourself.

No one was around.

You had access to her accounts.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I am ready to give this place up.

After all, it was her last wish.

The only difference is

I don't want a number or a price.

I just want a name.

Give it to me.

I have nothing to hide from you, Teri.

Give it to me!

Show her.

Come on, Franky.

Come on, now, come on.

Teri!

Teri, he is not moving.

He's not reactive.

We've got to get him to a hospital!

Why did you have to make this so hard?

Teri, help us!

I don't care what you think happened,

we've got to get him to a hospital!

Welcome home.

It's a syncopic episode.

He's stable, but he needs a doctor.

Teri, get in the truck.

Come on, nobody stays behind.

I'm staying.

I'm rigging those charges.

What? Why?

Because fuck them, that's why.

Teri, you said it yourself.

If this is what mom wanted,

then let 'em have it.

That was our home, Theo!

We slept in those rooms.

She died in those rooms.

I'm not gonna stand by

and let some freaks turn it in

to some kind of fantasy.

That place is our memories.

And now that's all it will be.

I'm only sorry not all my brothers felt the same.

Oh come on now.

He couldn't have known this was gonna happen.

This is just Franky, you know.

Yeah, I know.

Pete!

Vincent, get in the truck.

Couldn't find any shells.

Hey, cut it out back there!

I'm pretty sure they're both fractured.

What happened?

Franky.

I just wish...

It's too late.

Cathy was all she had in the end.

So it's no wonder any of this happened.

We helped her invent this.

We were kids!

It doesn't make it any less true.

You want to sit here and talk about

how this could've been different, fine.

But that doesn't change anything.

No.

Not yet.

What?

All my life, I've been running from this place.

From Senior, from mom and her bullshit.

You're not thinking about going back in there.

Maybe it's not too late.

We wind the timer, give us more time.

We can disconnect the charges by hand.

By your hands.

What happened to just letting things go?

Some kid told me memories are an abstract.

That is our house.

Screw you! You little shit!

If anything happens, we get out.

- Sure. - I mean it.

We abandon the mission, promise.

Teri, we've got 40-

- The only way I go back in that house

is if you promise you'll get

as far away from their as possible before it blows.

Alright, I promise.

Okay.

If you're ready, then, let's go.

Which?

One second.

You don't remember?

This shit's from Venezuela.

Rojo, blanco, or azul?

Blanco.

Blanco.

That's it.

Easy enough.

Three more to go.

I'll kill you!

You have no business here!

You don't fuck with my wife's family,

you don't fuck with me!

Teri!

Teri.

Teri, Teri, are you still there?

Hello?

Where are you?

Come out here, you coward!

Don't shoot! Don't shoot, don't shoot!

It's me, Vincent!

Vincent Schepp?

Yeah, we met at the reunion like four years ago.

I can't believe you'd,

you'd treat your own family like this.

Dad?

What was that?

She's killing you!

She's killing all of you!

Why are you letting her do this to you?

They can't answer you, Teri.

Come on, we've got to get out of here!

She's killing you!

Why are you doing this?

I really hate to see you this way, Teri.

Where are the keys?

What keys?

Let them out of this shit.

They're gonna get heat stroke.

They're not my prisoners.

This woman is killing you.

Look, she's already killed you.

No, you are, Teri.

You are.

But it's okay, this is what they want.

You've got to get out of here.

There's no time.

We can't leave, we have to celebrate.

I am so happy that you were able

to make it back for the end.

The end of what?

Of the movie!

We've been broadcasting this all over the world,

for everyone to see.

Isn't that amazing?

You mean, it's live streaming?

Yes.

But, who's watching?

People just like us, all over the world.

Why didn't they help us?

Why didn't they do anything?

Why didn't you do anything?

Because they've been waiting,

and it's finally here!

Waiting for what?

For the sequel, and they love it.

Your mother is smiling down on us from heaven.

You're all insane.

We're leaving.

We can't go, we have to celebrate!

Burn in hell!

Hey, Teri.

There's my kid brother.

I thought I would miss the party.

I found this in one of dad's old hiding places.

Along with that Beef-a-roni recipe.

What are you doing here?

Where's Franky?

He's okay.

He's with the paramedics.

Can not wait to see the look on his face.

It was you?

You signed the deal?

Here, open that.

Why would you sell us out?

Sell us out?

I saved us!

Think about it.

Do you have any idea how many online orders

have come into Schepp Waterbeds just tonight?

Dad worked himself to the bone in that shop for nothing,

nothing but an early grave.

Now we're in the black.

And I get to sit back and relax in my golden years.

Look, I get it, I get it.

You're upset at me, I get it.

Things did not go as smoothly as I had hoped.

We were assaulted.

People died.

You exploited our inheritance.

Our inheritance is the keys to this castle,

which we have to defend.

I didn't have a choice!

This family has more money now

than it ever has, ever.

And that's because of me!

Today, today is the Schepp family's finest hour!

To new beginnings.

It's too late.

Hey, do you have a phone I could use?

I just need to call my mom.

Sure.

What's this?

It's just a jacket.

Like some Viking shit.

I feel like I've seen your face before.

Do I know you?

I don't think so.

Like a meme one of my friend's sent me, or something.

She's probably not up yet.

Thanks for letting me use your phone.

Sure.

You stay around here?

I can give you a lift.

No, that's okay.

I'll just walk to the Quick-E-Mart.

I don't fuck with Vikings, anyways.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull