All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S11E02.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH_track3_[eng]

MADISON: Previously on
Southern Charm...

SHEP: What's up?

MADISON: As Austen was busy

rebuilding his friendship
with Craig,

Venita torched hers.

What's your response
to Venita saying

she's on Paige's side
in your breakup?

I won't be associated with her.

I mean, like,
I can see both sides, right?

He probably expected all
of our friends to have his back.

MADISON: Meanwhile,
Craig was navigating life

in the single lane.

- WOMAN: You should date around.
- I'm 37 years old.

So I'm like,
did I age out of, like--

No. Talk to your buddy Shep.

MADISON: He's got promise.

And when we all got together
for my baby shower...

- Thank you.
- You look nice.

Thank you, you too.

Isn't it crazy?
I'm out of breath.

So when I come over
to your house tonight--

MADISON: Molly got
so caught up in a new crush,

she ditched her concert.

I just feel bad I let them down.

They're never gonna
let me back in.

They're gonna be so mad.

- [Molly sobbing]
- Hey, Craig.

MADISON: And Salley
got so caught up in Craig...

CRAIG: Whitney's
having an after-party.

MADISON: ...she tried
to play peacemaker.

We're going to Whitney's.
Do you wanna come with us?

- No.
- I'm ready for you to--

I'm not. I'm out.

That is so rude.

* The kids go loco, mm-hmm *

[upbeat music playing]

[dog whining]

I tried to take you surfing,
you tried to eat the board.

[dog whining]

MOLLY: Oh, hi.

I'll give you
a little more fresh water.

Don't try and escape
while I'm doing this.

Don't you do it.

You already went on
a nice little vacation.

Whitney, there's a big package.
Could you please bring it in?

- It's heavy, whatever it is.
- It's a candle.

I just thought
it was kind of cool. [laughs]

Jesus Christ.

[bike bell ringing]

SALLEY: You're dirty.

Feels good in there.

Oh, yeah, you like that now.

Good boy.

See? All clean.

Okay, one clean puppy.

You wanna FaceTime
your Auntie Venita

and show her how clean you are?

[line ringing]

What's wrong?

SALLEY: What?

I know, I'm sorry.

I just got really excited
and I ran with it.

I love Salley
with every fiber of my being,

but so help me God,

she centers men in a way
that I don't understand.

I love Venita, but the issue's
between her and Craig,

and now I'm kind of
just in the middle

and I'm trying to navigate that,
and it's really freaking hard.

Anyways, so, party.

My singles' party. It's Friday.

I have a task for you.

I want you to help me
pick out the decorations.

Salley sells singles
by the seashore.

Beach things.

Like, I want it to be,
like, frat boy vibes,

but, like, also just,
like, not that trashy.

SALLEY: Because
I would like to meet someone

that's super single
and super cute.

SALLEY: I don't wanna
stay single forever.

I'm trying to not have sex
with just anyone.

I've only slept with one person
since Andrew.

I don't know.
I haven't invited anyone yet.

- Okay.
- But I need hot men.

I know that my actions and words
can make people think

I'm not ready to settle down.

Even my therapist has said,
like, you know,

"You wanna be a wife?
Act like a wife."

I'm like, "Why the [bleep]
would I act like a wife

"when I'm not a wife?"

I wish my hot-ass pool man
would come.

I did, but I didn't follow up.

I don't know, I'm just having
fun until I find that guy.

What am I gonna do,
find my husband in my kitchen

cooking dinner and baking
coffee cakes all day? No.

I have too many crushes
going on right now.

I'm gonna focus on
just four of them.

[laughs] I'm just kidding.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

JACK: You look kind of crazy.

I feel weird.

- It was just a long night.
- Oh, yeah.

- You had some fun?
- Yeah.

I hate being hungover.

You know, it was a good time,

but I'm not used to
not feeling 100% anymore.

I've never had
a healthy relationship

with alcohol single, I guess.

Damn it.

That stupid ----ing door.

Craig, are you drunk?

You said I'm taking the van.
I'm taking the van to the house.

I don't wanna get on a plane.
I'm taking the plane.

WOMAN: Craig, are you drunk?

Seriously, move on
with your ----ing life

and stop bringing me into this.

- It's crazy.
- WOMAN: Craig.

Craig.

- MAN: Craig is hammered.
- WOMAN: Yeah, he's hammered.

It's something that I've never
thought I'd had to deal with.

However, now I'm by myself,

and... kind of sad.

I mean,
how do I form a connection

that doesn't include going out,
you know, to the bars?

JACK: Calendar-wise, coming up,

you'll be at the store
on Sunday for Mother's Day,

and then we go to New York for
Better Homes & Garden Awards.

We get back at 10:00
and then drive

an hour and a half
to the warehouse.

- Really?
- Yeah, and then the next week

we're in Palm Beach
at a home show.

- And then Aspen Wine & Food.
- Holy crap.

These turnarounds
are killing me.

I mean, you do it to yourself.

- I know.
- It's an intense schedule.

It's just because,
like, when I'm working

is the only time
that my mind is quiet now.

Yeah.

Jack is like a general
contractor, but for my life.

Like, before, I was like,
if I have an extra day,

I'm gonna fly to New York.

You'd go to New York
and hang out with Paige

and then I would be here
waiting for you.

He has been with me every step
of the way through this breakup.

I'll always be grateful I didn't
lose you when I hit my bottom.

I don't plan on
going back there.

Yeah. But just know,
if I ever need to leave

in the middle of the night
with the kids, I will.

And now that
I don't have a best friend

to, like, text every day,

Jack is my comfort,
like, safe place now.

Well, now I got to figure out
how to be at peace.

I mean, it's been, what,

- four months now?
- Yeah.

You're gonna
figure it out, right?

[whimsical music playing]

MOLLY: Okay.

- Hey.
- How are you?

- Good, how are you?
- So cute.

- Thank you.
- Hi, Karen.

Karen,
you wanna come home with me?

- My snake would eat you.
- Oh, God.

Have you opened all these?

Yeah, but I've got to do
thank-you cards,

which I'm terrible at.

Mine was the spray tan one.

MADISON: I know. That was funny.

- [Molly laughs]
- That was really good. [laughs]

MOLLY: I don't know
if I ever want to have kids,

because the thought
of having something loud,

covered in sh--,

that, like,
doesn't let me sleep,

it fills me with rage.

Do you want me
to help you, like,

go through these
and make a list?

Yeah. You don't mind?

- Yeah, I'll help you.
- Okay.

You can sit down,
get off your pregnant feet.

I'm just gonna start
walking around like this

and make people do sh-- for me.

Yeah, that's all you got to do.
That and start screaming.

I can barely see
over the top of it.

I know, I'm like--
All right, let's see.

- So this one is from Karen.
- Karen.

And that's
a cherry two-piece set.

- Yeah.
- Okay, Craig's homemade--

- Oh, the quilt.
- Look at that.

Literally,
I used to quilt with my mom,

and when he told me about that,
I, like, got emotional.

I was like,
"That's so amazing, Craig."

Literally, I would've cried
if I had my makeup done.

- MOLLY: Aw.
- MADISON: Okay.

- Oh, that--
- Is Salley.

Okay...

Salley-- What the hell
is she thinking?

It's gonna be see-through
by the time you stretch 'em

around those bazongas.

Extra-extra small.

Salley,
ridiculously sized dress.

I'll just give that to the baby.

- That, though, I have that--
- The same size.

Right?
That one has the same chance

of going around
your tits than that.

- Salley, tiny, tiny clothes.
- [Madison laughs]

So y'all went out
after the baby shower.

Yeah, I didn't want to
because I had spiraled myself

into a hole
of despair and sadness.

I just feel bad I let them down.

They're never gonna
let me back in.

They're gonna be so mad.
[sobbing]

I just wanted
to profusely apologize.

Yeah, that will never
happen again, I promise.

- It's fine. You're a human.
- I know. Ugh.

I was just embarrassed
how I acted, but...

- It's all right.
- Yeah.

Yeah, so, I know
Salley ended up, like...

late-night hanging with Craig.

Well, sh--.

'Cause she was like, "We
were in the pool till late."

I was like,
"At Patricia's or your house?"

She's like, "Craig's." I was
like, "Oh, that wasn't even

"one of the options
that I asked about.

- "But fun."
- That's crazy.

Especially since Salley said...

I'm a girl's girl,
I love Audrey,

but my personality fits
with Austen very well.

MOLLY: Oh, my God.

I mean,
would I hook up with him?

The day after they break up.
Let's go.

Right? I know.

I mean, if I was Audrey

and I found out
that Salley said that,

I'd be like, "Bitch,
I'll ----ing fight you."

Should we try to make a bet?
Like, who's gonna bang who?

- Oh, God.
- [Madison laughs]

MADISON: Coming up.

- Hello.
- SALLEY: Charley's here.

AUSTEN: She's cute.

[lively music playing]

All right.

First beach day.

Oh, yeah.

Woo-hoo.

[groans]

What's up?

Just trying to get a little sun.

It's not, like,
stellar out here,

but better than nothing.

Yeah, we're not
chasing mavericks.

- That's for sure.
- Guess not.

I'm gonna give you
this one to start,

just 'cause it's easier
for you to maneuver.

I thought it was harder
for you to stand on.

Yes, this one's easier.

If you're a beginner,

a shortboard's not
what you wanna be surfing on.

It's not gonna be that-- I mean,

we're not gonna do
a ton of paddling.

There's not
a lot of rough water.

What about that?

SHEP: What's it matter, anyway?

He's gonna flail around
in the water.

I mean, that's a decent wave.
That's fun.

[laughs]

You wanna get out there?

- Yeah.
- Whitner's coming.

Okay, well,
do you wanna wait on Whitner?

- There he is. What's up?
- Yo, what up?

SHEP: Look at that beautiful
beast you have under your arm.

- The Red Rocket.
- I love it.

- Good to see you.
- What's up, buddy?

- Long time no see, yeah?
- How you been?

- Well. And you?
- Doing all right.

Is this yours? Did you buy it?

No, this is old board.
I've had that for many years.

AUSTEN: I haven't done
a lot of surfing.

Shep was trying
to give me this, right?

- There's no way in...
- AUSTEN: Thank you.

...absolute hell
you're gonna ride a board--

I was trying to trick him.

I wanted him to not catch any
waves and me catch them all.

Well, you've accomplished that.

I've known Whitner
for probably ten years.

We're both fond
of outdoor activities.

[birdcall]

His family's from Columbia.

My dad's family's
right down the road in Camden.

Our family here
in South Carolina,

like, I mean, we go back
to the Revolutionary War.

WHITNER: We have
some big-ish names.

Shep will tell you
about all of his.

Whether or not you're listening.

Yeah, buddy,
we're from the same cloth.

That's right.
Boykin County people.

I'll take the short one.
Let's go.

Challenge, challenge.

All right, do it.

So, we have lots in common.

I don't have a trust fund.

And I have a job
and have to work.

And so there's
another difference.

And he went
to law school with Craig.

WHITNER:
We took the bar exam together.

He was two years ahead of me.
I passed it first.

- All right, Austen.
- Wait.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Jesus.

- Let's do it.
- Let's go.

[upbeat music playing]

[whimsical music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[whimsical music playing]

Yeah!

[laughs]

I'm low-key embarrassed at
how bad that I suck at surfing.

- Yeah, I--
- Jeez.

Austen can't even
sit on the board.

- WHITNER: Oh, lord.
- [Shep laughing]

We should've got him
some floaties.

Whatever.

Surfing's dumb
and I don't care.

And I just--
Surfing's dumb.

- SHEP: Pears?
- WHITNER: Yes.

SHEP: Wait, so what is
this thing on Friday?

It's Salley's
Bring a Single Friend?

Yeah, I'm your single friend,
you idiot.

- SHEP: I know that.
- Have a little fun.

- AUSTEN: We just leave it here?
- Yeah.

- Hello.
- BARTENDER: Hey.

- Okay. Hey, how are you?
- Hello, great.

- Can I do a [indistinct]?
- Okay.

- SHEP: The Beach Haus Pilsner.
- Hefeweizen, please.

- And then a round of Casamigos.
- Okay.

- Tequila to warm us up, huh?
- BARTENDER: Here you go.

- AUSTEN: Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Gents, cheers.
- Cheers.

Thanks for trying.
So help me, sir.

Whoo!

Dude, you gotta tell me
what happened on Saturday night,

after the baby shower.

So, okay,
we go to Craig's.

It's me, Kory,
Craig, and Salley.

We get in the hot tub
and Kory kind of disappears.

And so we're talking and banter.
It's good.

But I, you know,
I look down at my phone.

It's getting late.

So I went inside
to call an Uber.

And I was like,
"I'll just leave them alone."

I was just like,
maybe, maybe--

I don't know.

I saw Salley's text exchange
with Craig.

- [Austen laughs]
- What was it?

Yeah, he texted her like,
"That was fun."

And she was like, "Yeah, like,
I wish I didn't have to leave."

And he was like,
"Next time, stay."

She was like, "Next time,
like, invite me to."

- God, what a moron.
- AUSTEN: I know, man.

He doesn't have,
like, a killer instinct.

And he never has.
And he never will.

- SHEP: No, he doesn't.
- AUSTEN: Jesus.

He's just not
that aggressive of a dater.

Craig's a pussy.

Flat out.

Craig had every chance
to hook up with Catherine.

She wanted
to hook up with him.

- What's her name?
- Catherine.

CRAIG: I definitely have
a kindergarten crush.

And she came over to my house,
like, on the third night

that they had hung out
after he'd never tried anything.

And we tried things. [laughs]

Let's just clarify here.

We want Craig to [bleep] Salley.
Great. Okay?

Best way
to get over somebody is to...

Right.

[lively music playing]

- Hello.
- Hi, there. How are you?

How are you doing? Oh, my God.
Everything in here is so cute.

- RODRIGO: Hey, hey.
- VENITA: Hi.

RODRIGO: Hey, there.

You look so cute.

- RODRIGO: These are fun.
- VENITA: Aren't they fun?

Because everything's
going to be so neutral.

She's a very neutral girl.
She doesn't like a lot of color.

- RODRIGO: Yeah.
- VENITA: Yeah.

Do you want me
to start you a pile?

- VENITA: Yeah, let's do that.
- WOMAN: Okay.

- And I also really love these.
- I love this.

I feel like
we're going to spend

the majority of the party
on the rooftop.

So maybe we set this up
on the rooftop

with, like,
some really nice furniture

and, like, have this be
the background of the bar.

- RODRIGO: Yeah.
- I should probably call her.

[phone ringing]

Hi. Hi.

- Hey, bitch.
- [Venita laughs]

Okay, so I'm calling to make
sure I have all the right stuff.

So far on my list,
I have plates, napkins,

serving ware,
outdoor furniture, tablecloths.

What else do you want?

She doesn't have pompous grass,
but, like...

- I mean, I think you do.
- WOMAN: We've got neutral.

RODRIGO: See, look.
Get rid of the pinks.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- See? Yes, yes.

But I like that,
but get rid of the pinks.

- RODRIGO: I love these.
- Cute.

Okay, that's all I needed.

- I think it's going to be fun.
- Yeah.

Oh, you invited Craig.

VENITA: Oh, okay.

Oh.

VENITA: Okay.

That's great.
But Salley, um...

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Great.

- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.

[phone beeping]

God.
I mean, that's crazy behavior.

How does that make you feel?

Not good.
[laughs] Not good.

But I feel like
I would be childish to be like,

"Oh, you can't talk to him."

You know what I mean?

So, like...

I don't know.

I mean, I just hope that there
isn't a moment in the future

where it's you
versus Craig again,

and Salley sides
with Craig over you.

Over me?

Yeah.

Like, Salley would never
do that to me.

I find that
very ----ing hard to believe.

Maybe I could be wrong.

Maybe Salley's
not interested in Craig,

and if that's the case,

I will eat
one of his ----ing pillows.

Listen, I get it.

You don't want
to lose your friendship,

but I just don't want you
to get hurt.

[tense music playing]

MADISON: Coming up...

I'm gonna want
to make out with Craig.

[whimsical music playing]

- [phone ringing]
- [sighs]

Hey.

What's your ETA?

Okay.

Audrey lives in Charlotte,

which is three and a half hours
north of Charleston,

but it's been going
really well.

Hey.

No.

We haven't. We haven't had
any of these talks.

Um, yeah, I don't--
I don't know where you are.

I love when she's in town,
and then when she leaves,

I'm, like-- I like
my, like, alone time.

I don't know what to say.
I love long distance.

I ----ing love it.

Oh, no.

[Audrey exclaims]

[phone beeping]

[upbeat music playing]

SALLEY: All right,
let's do it.

They're so cute. Cuteness.

RODRIGO: Hello, pussycat.

SALLEY: Whoo!

- Venita!
- [Venita grunts]

Ooh, baby, I'm sweating
like a stripper in church.

- Salley.
- SALLEY: What?

- RODRIGO: Right here?
- Yeah. Beside that.

- Oh, sh--.
- The picnic table goes here.

How did you end up
finding this place?

Vrbo. We're so used to having
formal parties,

and I just wanted
everyone to get, like, weird.

Hey, Salley, who are you
hooking up with tonight?

Um, I'm not-- I don't...

We're just gonna see
how the night goes, okay?

I don't know. There's no harm
in, like, kissing, you know?

It'll be interesting.

[phone ringing]

Yo, what's up?

KORY: What's up, dawg?

I got us Listerine spray
in case we're kissing anyone.

[Kory laughing]

Oh, you, like, look across
the beach

and I just smile at you?

[Kory laughing]

AUDREY: Are you just gonna
bring a bathing suit?

Yeah. I'm gonna have to
bring a bathing suit

because I can't jump in
with a terrycloth.

You know? Bottom.

AUDREY: What is it?
Salley's Sallying Singles?

Yeah. I think.

Oh, my God.

[jazz music]

Oh, wait,
I need to fluff that pillow.

Chop.

You gotta go.

With two?

CHARLEY: Salley!

- SALLEY: Charley!
- RODRIGO: Hey, babe.

- Hey, angel.
- How is it going?

Long time, no see.

Oh, my God,
you guys look amazing.

Oh, my God, this is so nice.

SALLEY: Isn't it so cute.

CHARLEY: You did
such a good job.

I love this, too.
That's so cute.

She looks like
a ----ing mermaid.

CHARLEY: Yeah, she looks
----ing amazing.

- SALLEY: Yeah, say it.
- Nice. Love.

SALLEY: Charley
is one of my best friends.

We met when
our exes were best friends.

- Let me show you the inside.
- Yeah, I wanna see.

Give me a little tour.

SALLEY: So, she was
going through a breakup

and I was going
through a breakup,

and we got really,
really close.

She helped me get over
my breakup, seriously.

Like, I don't think
that I would be over

my breakup
without her at all.

Like, she got me
out of the house and,

like, out of my shell.

So, we're kind of
each other's wing women.

Like, she's a flirt,
I'm a flirt.

Like, we love flirting
with everybody. It's fun.

Oh, it's so cute, Salley.

SALLEY: We have beer pong,
we have burgers,

we have fries, Jell-O shots.

And then upstairs.

- Oh, my God.
- Shush.

Wait. Oh, my God.
It's so cute.

Look at the banner.

Oh, the banner's adorable.

- Okay, so, green.
- Okay, green.

- CHARLEY: Single.
- Single.

- Okay.
- Pink. Taken.

Orange is it's complicated.

- I'm definitely green.
- So, I'm taking a green.

- Cheers to being single.
- Cheers.

Wait, no,
this is really beautiful.

Salley, I'm so proud of you.
And you, Rodrigo.

- And Venita.
- And Venita.

Wherever she is,
I haven't seen her.

Um.

I'm assuming it's the pool.

Look at this.
Literally today.

SALLEY: Oh, my God.

- Rodrigo.
- Yeah?

- Oh, you have to look at this.
- What?

SALLEY: Shep
DMing her today.

CHARLEY: Literally today.

I just look at cute
little reposts of me modeling.

He's like,
"Is this a preview for today?"

You wish.

He's like,
"Well, now I'm interested.

I had to ask.

Every time he asks me, like,
on a date,

I just always never respond.

I met Shep at a bar opening,

and then he slid
into my DMs after that.

But it's a little,
you know,

I feel like you're texting
your dad a little bit.

Honestly, my approach today
is to just be approached.

Like, I'm not
approaching anybody.

That's a good way to be.

But I'm going to want to make
out with a specific someone.

Like, I think he's hot.

And I had fun with him Saturday,
but I don't think that--

Who are you referring to?
What are you talking about?

I'm talking about Craig.

[Charley chuckles]

I think I'm just going to
feel it out,

see what he's into,
see what he's doing.

Mmm.

I knew it.

I totally Venita
it was going to happen.

But sometimes, like,
you got to let your friends,

***

Three. No, this should be one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[door knocking]

Hi! How you doing?

- You look so cute.
- How are you?

You look cute.

I think everyone's upstairs.

Oh, my God.

SALLEY: Hey!

Cute. I hear
Salley screaming.

There she is.

Oh, hell yeah!

Hi.

- I saw you all day.
- I know.

- Hi!
- You look cute.

Hello. I love, I love it.
I love.

Hi. Thank you.

Welcome to heaven.

Oh, my gosh.

Hey!

- Hey.
- You look so good.

- Do you love it?
- It's so pretty.

- You look stunning.
- Beautiful.

Austen, this is
my single friend, Charley.

Charley. Awesome.

Nice to meet you.

Whoa. Charley,
she's a pretty girl.

But I love my girlfriend.

I don't have any FOMO.

You're the hottest girl here.

- SHEP: Hey.
- AUSTEN: Hello.

VENITA: Hi.

SALLEY: Shepard!

Austen, good to see you, buddy.

- What's up, man?
- Good to see you.

This is
my girlfriend Audrey.

WHITNER:
Audrey, nice to meet you.

- SALLEY: You know Charley.
- Of course.

Okay, now I understand.

- I like your shirt.
- SHEP: Yes, the lemon, yes.

I messaged her earlier.

She was wearing
a lemon dress on Instagram.

Yeah.

[upbeat music]

Hello. Hey, guys, how are you?

I'm Craig.

Nice to meet you.
Hey, Audrey.

Hey.

- What's up?
- Hey, Craig.

- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?

- Thanks for having us.
- Yeah, of course.

- This is cool. Yeah.
- Isn't it cool?

You have to get your
appropriate color umbrella.

- Hey, Whit.
- Hey, buddy.

- How are you?
- Good to see you.

CRAIG: Yeah, you too.

WHITNER: I haven't seen you
in a minute.

- I know.
- You look good.

Thanks, man. Cheers.

Whit and I went to
the same law school.

I think
he was two years behind me,

so we didn't
really hang out a lot.

But his sister and
I knew each other well.

Voila!

Best looking guy
in town.

What the hell?

"Beach bar."
Okay, where's the bathroom?

- CRAIG: Molly.
- Huh?

- How are you?
- I'm all right.

- Good.
- Chillin'.

Have we recovered
from the band fiasco?

I just feel bad
I let them down.

They're never
gonna let me back in.

They're gonna be so mad.

What is that instrument again?

It's a miniature tuba.

Kory is such a fun time.

But I can't date
someone who doesn't know

what the [bleep]
a euphonium is.

Sorry.

- MADISON: Hey.
- SALLEY: Madison.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- You look cool.
- You look so good.

I love it.

- Hi, Charley.
- How's it going?

It's so good
to see you again.

You look so cute.

This is such fun!

Can I get
your non-alcohol drink?

Yeah, I'm ready.
Ready to party.

You won't even know.

Molly, do you want to
do a keg stand?

- God no.
- Come on.

Let me and Kory
hold you for a keg stand.

MOLLY: Y'all,
we need a spotter.

Hold her strong.
There we go.

CRAIG:
All right, one, two, three,

four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten.

Nice.

Ten-second keg stand.

There we go, baby.

That was actually impressive.

Classy, not trashy.

My nickname in high
school was Frank the Tank.

[bleep] yeah.

[upbeat music]

Look over the edge.
It's like my favorite.

- It's a cute little...
- MADISON: Aw.

SALLEY:
It's like Love Island.

Maybe somebody will
make out down there later.

I'm going to make my bets
in like ten more minutes.

SALLEY: Shep was already
in Charley's DMs this morning.

- Shocker.
- I know.

- You live in Charleston, right?
- Yeah.

I live next
to Moe's Crosstown.

Oh, my God,
I'm so close to there.

- Oh, yeah? Neighbors?
- I go to Moe's

like seriously once a week.

WHITNER: No way!

Moe's is my
favorite bar in Charleston.

I am right
next to the big yellow.

I thought that was
Olivia when I walked in.

Who? That's Charley. Yeah.

Yeah, I know Charley.
She's a good looking girl.

She's the girl that Shep's been,
obsessed with.

The question is, who is
Charley targeting tonight?

SALLEY: Coming up...

All right,
who's challenging me and Salley?

- Molly and Kory.
- You were so right.

RODRIGO: What do you mean?

VENITA: I think Salley's
going to teeter

more towards Craig as you've
opened my eyes to see.

RODRIGO: Mm-hmm.

- SALLEY: Hey, girl!
- Hi!

SALLEY: Welcome
to Salley's Singles Soiree!

- Cheers being single!
- AUSTEN: Hey!

I want to go to the beach
and play some beach games.

Yeah, I want to
throw the football.

SALLEY: Let's go!
Let's go to the beach!

Hey, guys,
we're going to the beach!

Wait, where's Salley?

SALLEY: Charley!

I just seriously
can't get over how

it was downpouring yesterday.

And this morning at like six.

Okay, well,
I was not awake at six.

- Were you awake at six?
- MADISON: Yeah.

This is really cute.
I love that.

Come on [indistinct].

- SALLEY: Beach games.
- MAN: Fun beach games.

So we got Jell-O shots
for the losers of whatever,

- or the winners.
- I'm down.

Oh, I'll sit here

and look cute
while y'all do your thing.

SHEP: Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Let's see Salley's arm.

- Okay, Salley.
- Dude, she's got a cannon.

CRAIG: Charley, you want to
do a Jell-O shot?

- Right now?
- Yeah.

- Not particularly.
- Well, you have to, so

- There you go.
- CHARLEY: Okay.

I love it.

SHEP: Salley,
you got a cannon.

Yeah.

AUSTEN: Okay, I want
to catch a pass from Salley.

Salley! Launch it in here.

- Hey.
- SALLEY: Austen!

CRAIG: Do you wanna play
spike ball or Kan Jam?

- CHARLEY: Spike ball.
- Oh, thanks.

I don't really
want to build this.

That looks
like a lot to work with.

- I just want to play Kan Jam.
- I'll build it.

Okay.

I think you have to thread
the net though, Charley.

I'm obsessed.

What's a spike ball?

I've never
played beer pong either.

AUSTEN: All right,
come on now, Salley.

Oh, there's hooks all around
the whole ----ing thing.

CHARLEY: I thought you knew
how to play spike ball.

CRAIG: I know how to play.

I don't know
how to build it, Charley.

Okay, but I feel like
the yellow ones need to

go with the yellow...

Oh, put the yellow one
in the middle of the yellow.

And then that's how
you know it's tight enough.

Well, what do you know?

Charley was right.
Good job.

CHARLEY: Thank you.
[chuckles]

Damn, Craig, I appreciate you
putting this together for us.

Yeah. You know,
I definitely did all the work

without any help
from the girls.

I'm just kidding.

- CHARLEY: Yeah.
- CRAIG: Our little engineer.

Wait, this is...

This is definitely
flirting, right?

Austen, throw the ----ing ball!

- RODRIGO: Madre.
- Hey.

- RODRIGO: What's fresh?
- MADISON: Come hang out.

- I got one!
- AUSTEN: There we go.

See, this is why I choose
not to take my shirt off.

See Kory over there.

----ing body.

MADISON: How jealous
is Austen of Kory's nipples?

[Madison and Rodrigo laughing]

RODRIGO:
Because they're teeny?

Leave those pancakes alone.

MADISON: Ooh, see?
Little Hershey kisses.

I mean, no ass from
what I can see, but whatever.

I mean, I'm sorry,
but I don't want a man

with a big
ass walking around...

I am right here!

Guys!

Shake what your mama gave you.

Oh, he does.
Look at him.

- He does have an ass.
- Yes.

Yeah,
it's called deadlifts, guys.

AUSTEN: Come on now, Salley.

[grunts] All right, Salley.
Go left.

Oh, [bleep]!

Hit me right in the titty!

AUSTEN: Salley!

MADISON: I mean,
Audrey's very sweet.

RODRIGO: Yeah.

But does she know
that Salley wants Austen?

I love Audrey,
but my personality fits

- with Austen very well.
- WOMAN: Oh, my God.

I mean,
would I hook up with him?

The day after they break up.
Let's go.

Well, Salley's, like,
into Craig, though.

- What?
- She's up there

making these comments,
she's into it.

SALLEY: Austen,
give it to me!

I mean, if she's into Craig,
it's only because he's single.

Okay, Salley!

I don't know.
I love Audrey.

Pookie!

I think
they're great together.

Well...

I don't know
if I know how [indistinct].

Really?

I think Austen's with Audrey
because he knows

that's the only way he's, like,
bettering himself.

- [Austen grunts]
- [Audrey screams]

That wasn't good.

But he still, I think,
wants something

that's going to
light a fire under his ass.

All right.
Let's play spike ball.

It looks really,
really, really good.

-Wow! Wow!
-Oh, that's pretty.

Good job.

- Spike ball.
- SALLEY: Are we playing?

- Do you know how?
- SALLEY: Yeah.

I don't.

SALLEY:

All right. Who's challenging
me and Salley?

Molly and Kory.

MOLLY: Oh.

I'm okay with it.

I don't want to play.

CRAIG: All right.
Molly and Kory.

- Okay.
- Perfect.

- How do we play?
- CRAIG: Okay,

so Salley's
gonna serve it to you.

- [bleep]
- You suck!

Damn it!

What?

RODRIGO: What do you mean?

I think Salley's gonna like,
she's gonna teeter

more towards Craig,
as you've opened my eyes to see.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

I thought that Salley
actually meant it when

she said that she would
put our friendship first.

But she does not know what being
a girl's girl actually means.

We won!

Jell-O shots
are on the beach bag!

Wow, it looks like
everyone's having fun.

Whitney's here!

Why is Whitney wearing
a sweater?

He looks like my papa,
my granddad.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

-Give me a hug. Come on.
-I'm sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I like your jacket.
- Thank you, Charley.

Yeah, that's adorable.

- Charley's cute, though.
- Yeah, she's cute.

AUSTEN: Salley, you want to
play football?

Yeah, I would.
Are you kidding me?

I was her judge
in Miss South Carolina, too.

[Kory, indistinct]

CRAIG: I picked her to win,
and she got third.

WHITNEY: Charley!

- CHARLEY: Hey, guys.
- Craig,

AUSTEN:
You want to play football?

- What's up?
- What place did you get

when I judged you?

- Oh, my God, you ----ed me.
- No, I picked you to win.

CHARLEY: I don't believe you.

That's what he just said.

- I seriously don't believe you.
- Craig!

I did, and then
I never judged again,

because I was like,
"What am I doing here?"

Right? I didn't like
the person that won.

SALLEY: Hey, guys!
We need one more.

Well, you were
the best girl, but then--

I know I was!

SALLEY: Charley!
Charley, let's do it!

You didn't do well in nationals,
and I was like...

Okay. Hello.
Girl code.

Charley! Charley!

- Are you playing football?
- Okay, play football.

CRAIG: We're both gonna play.

This... that's kind of weird.

Coming up...

So, is Craig and Salley a thing,
or is it...

Honestly, I think Salley's got
the hots for Austen.

- CRAIG: Okay!
- SALLEY: Let's do it!

AUSTEN: All right, Salley
you'll be the quarterback.

I'm so scared.

Why do I have to be
the quarterback?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

CRAIG: Nice, Molly!

-Craig ----ing convo.
-Yeah!

God, she's on you
like glue Kory.

Oh, my God.

AUDREY: When are
you due, Madison?

- Twelve weeks.
- Aw.

It's great,
cause my husband's gonna

get that
three months paternity leave.

Damn it!

Yeah!

- AUSTEN: Salley!
- No, I attacked him!

- I attacked him!
- Salley!

So, is Craig and
Salley a thing, or is it...

Mmm.

It's okay.
Okay, come on.

- Come on.
- Um...

honestly...

I think Salley's got
the hots for Austen.

Salley. Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
It's fine.

You're doing great.
You're okay.

Okay.

[Austen, indistinct] hut.

Okay.

No, that's so far!

[crowd cheering]

Salley.
I know. I know.

- Hey, Rod.
- Hey, ladies.

- Hey.
- I'm gonna sit right here.

I'm gonna get another
beer real quick.

- Okay.
- Okay.

CHARLEY: Let's go swim!

Charley, do you know
how to swim?

No, will you teach me?

[bleep] yeah.

Ah, look at
them waves crashing.

There's Salley.

Go, Salley!

Oh, sh--!

Look at Salley try to surf.

Hold on. Oh, boy.

I think I see something.

Oh. That's Charley.

Is Craig trying to, like,
get in there a bit, or what?

Salley! I'm impressed.

How were those waves out there?

They were way too big.

I know. Geez.

What the [bleep]?

I need this.

MADISON: Geez.

SALLEY: Holy sh--.

I'm gonna freak out.

It's fine. Everything's fine.

MADISON: Everything's good.

SALLEY: I just got taken down
by the ocean.

You went down, and the surfboard
went up, and...

You're full of sh--. [scoffs]

I'm not a ----ing idiot.

Like, I can see
when someone's flirting,

and they were
right in front of my face.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

AUSTEN: I saw you
talking with Madison.

Um, yeah.

She was like, "Well,
you know, Salley's into Austen."

Oh, my gosh.
That's not true.

Salley likes Craig.

And Salley is the class flirt.

But, like, with that being said,
I do like her.

I mean, I could joke
with her and play football.

No, it's all well
and good, just--

I don't want to think that every
time I'm speaking to her that...

We'll have a breaking point
if it gets too far.

All right, well,
all I want to do is,

like, focus
on having the best time.

Because when
you're in Charleston,

I feel like it's so great.

But I feel like,
even when I'm away, I mean,

do you think it's a problem?

No, but, like,
when you're here,

I feel like we've been
dating for ten years.

It's just, I mean, I'd like
you to visit Charlotte more.

I know, I know. I just...

Yeah, it's just
more convenient.

I just, like,
feel like I'm at an age where I,

like, want my space,
and I like my space,

and I like my stuff.

I just don't want to
get to the point

where we're living
separate lives.

I don't want to live
a separate life either.

Yeah, then I don't
want to question, like,

why are we with each other,
you know?

I know. I do know.

Okay, well, anyways, uh...

I'm glad you're here now.

SALLEY: Next time
on Southern Charm...

I want to buy a really
big picture of a tiger

or a penguin or a polar bear.

- Do you have that?
- No.

Am I even supposed to
second-guess my relationship?

You feel like you're bored.

You are or you aren't
trying to be with Craig?

-Yeah.
-You've got to give me

a little bit more respect.

You told me that
you were jealous I was single.

- I never said that.
- You're not happy.

Here you are,
tearing people down.

- You dick.
- Oh, my God.