Original subtitles

♪ There's 104 days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe... ♪

♪ Building a rocket ♪

♪ Or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up The Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something t hat doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots ♪

-♪ Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪ -It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird, Painting a continent ♪

-♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪ -Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's A whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school s tarts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us ♪

♪ 'Cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb ♪

♪ Are gonna do it all ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[Buford] Prepare to feel the wrath of Buford.

Don't bring that smack talk around here.

This is my house.

-Technically, it's our garage. -She's on a roll.

No girl has ever beaten Buford.

Watch and learn.

It takes a highly trained eye and a quick wrist to-

-To score like that, Buford? -Hey, I wasn't ready!

[Candace] Stacy, what am I going to do?

Jeremy's coming over to take my picture for his photo class.

So what's the-- Oh.

Yeah. You think he'll notice?

This is the worst bad hair day ever.

I'm officially freaking out. I'll call and cancel.

-No, wait. Just wear a hat. -Yeah, a hat.

-[Candace] How's this? -Well, your hair looks better.

Yeah, but the strap is cutting off my--

[crash]

I'm gonna need something stronger.

All right, this is the tiebreaker.

-I thought the last two were. -Nah, it's this one.

Tell ya what I'm gonna do, Buford.

I'm gonna take this ball and hit it into your goal in one shot.

-Oh, is that right? -Absolutely.

And you wanna know the funny part?

There's nothing you can do about it.

Bring it.

You missed.

Wait for it.

What about this?

Ain't that how it works, Buford?

-Wow. Nice foosing, Isabella. -Thanks.

You guys are making such a racket that I can't focus.

I need time to fix my hair.

When Jeremy gets here, I don't wanna be wearing this stupid-

-Hey, Candace. -Hello, Jeremy.

-[nervous laugh] -You look sporty.

-Oh, you like it? -Well, that's perfect.

The sport shoot.

Well, that didn't really count,

'cause it's just a dainty little girls' game.

It could be the biggest game in the world,

and girls could still beat boys.

Biggest game in the world. Did you get that, Phineas?

Yeah, we're on it. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

Great. It's boys against girls.

And to give ya a fair shot, I'll even take Shrimpy here.

I am honored.

[Buford] So, who's on your team?

Candace, can you be on the girls' team with me?

-Isabella, I'm a little busy right-- -Perfect.

Real action shots. Oh, you'll look great.

Really? OK, I'm in.

Hey, where's Perry?

[spy music]

[Monogram] There you are, Agent P.

Sorry about the stairs.

Our elevator maintenance guy is on a corporate retreat

with our slide-waxing guy.

Anyway, our intelligence tells us that Doofenshmirtz

has been shopping around for a show dog.

We need you to infiltrate the pet store and uncover his evil plan.

Me, I'm goin' home early. It's taco night.

[mariachi music]

♪ Agent P ♪

[sighs]

So those are the official rules for the F-Games.

Any questions?

Yeah. Why are they called the F-Games?

-Yeah, why is that? -Yeah.

"F" for Ferb.

[all] Oh.

I, too, have a question.

If I miss the third shuttlecock with my rubber chicken,

does Buford have to jump over the chokecherry bush

before or after the girls finish peeling their tangerines?

[all but Baljeet] After!

Aw, man, pay attention. You're embarrassing me.

All right, then let's get out there.

[crowd cheering]

[rock]

[Buford] Wow, definitely big.

♪ Na-na na-na na, na-na na-na na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na na na na-na na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na, na-na na-na na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na na na na-na na ♪

♪ Don't wanna hear no smack talk ♪

♪ You wanna call your mama, Here's a dime ♪

♪ It's time to walk the walk-walk ♪

♪ You gotta rapid skate, get on the line

♪ So get your game on, Or else it's shame on you ♪

-♪ Gimme an "F" ♪ - [audience] ♪ F! ♪

♪ Gimme an "F," F-Games ♪

♪ Are you a contender? Gimme an "F" ♪

- [audience] ♪ F! ♪ -♪ Gimme an "F," F-Games ♪

♪ In the battle of the genders ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na, na-na na-na na ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na na na na-na na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na, na-na na-na na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na na na na-na na ♪

[Phineas] Oh. Extra points for recycling.

The girls' score is now the square root of pi,

while the boys still have a crudely drawn picture of a duck.

Clearly it's still anyone's game.

[Doofenshmirtz] Yes, I'm looking for a purebred show dog.

Well, we have various award-winning breeds to choose from.

Oh, what about him?

Oh, he's perfect.

Oh, yes. Coochie-coochie-coo.

You are Doctor D's precious little puppy, aren't you?

Sir, I'm not even sure if that's a dog.

Don't try to wheel and deal with me.

I get a big alimony check every month, so money's no object.

Oh. Well, in that case, he's $10,000.

Oh, coochie-coochie. You are my little coochie-coochie.

You are my ticket into the Danville Dog Show,

and together, we will make them pay for all I have suffered.

Back when I was just a little schtumpel ,

my father came home with a brand-new spitzenhound puppy

that he won in a game of Poke the Goozim With a Stick.

[roars]

My father said the dog was like the son he never had

and named him Only Son.

Only Son became an award-winning show dog,

bringing my father fame and fortune,

while I was forced to be the lawn gnome.

Y-You remember that story, right, with my neighbor, Kenny?

I don't have to go through-- OK.

So, to recap, my entire fragile self-esteem

is totally dependent on your performance today

at the dog show, but, you know, no pressure.

And don't worry about your lack of training and experience,

because I have an ace in the hole.

This! The Misbehavinator!

It, uh, well, it does what the name implies.

Watch this.

-[yips] -[evil laugh]

Bad dog!

[barks]

Ah, nothing can stop us now. [laugh]

[gasps]

Ah!

Hey, what was all that about?

♪ Perry ♪

Perry the Platypus?

Uh, ha-ha, I-I'm very embarrassed

about all that "coochie-coochie-coo" stuff.

Wait, wait. Where are you going?

Bring back my Misbehavinator!

And now for the tiebreaker event.

Giant foosball!

Get ready to foos.

This is so my game.

But didn't Isabella beat you at this earlier?

Quiet, you!

-Ready, Candace? -I feel like a kabob.

I, too, feel a certain element of kabobism.

I said quiet, you. Let's play.

There's the first ball.

I feel this may not be the best way to block a shot.

Clearly I was-- Clearly I was wrong about that.

That was most effective. Ah!

-What? -Candace blocks. The ball is up...

-Candace. - [giggling]

-...it's going... -Oh, my. Oh!

Ah! Oh!

Isabella, I have feet, too, you know.

Sorry, Candace.

[screaming]

Suddenly I am not feeling so fresh.

Looks like we've reached the all-important fruit level!

The what?

[laughing]

[Phineas] It looks like the final ball

is drifting lazily into neutral territory.

Folks, we may be looking at a draw.

-Oh, no, we're not. -Buford, no! That would be cheating!

[evil laugh] Boys rule!

Aah, my hair! Jeremy's gonna see my hair!

[ball whistling]

Oh...

[Phineas] They've done it!

The girls have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat!

♪ She's Candace ♪

Wow, Candace, your hair looks great.

[giggles] Really?

[spy music]

Well, Buford, that was a great game.

Come on, be a good sport.

Like I said before, losing to a girl doesn't count.

What I meant to say was I had a wonderful time.

I guess you were right. Girls are just as good as boys.

Thanks again.

Whoo-hoo. The F-Games rock.

That was completely out of character.

-Ah! -[yowls]

[tires squeal]

[man] T minus 3, 2, 1.

Thanks, guys. It was a lot of fun.

The next F-Games will be even better.

Yeah, but much better is when Mom sees this.

Look at that thing.

I'd just like to see you try to get rid of that before Mom-

-Hey, kids. What's new? -Nothing, Mom.

Absolutely nothing is new.

Well, your hair sure looks new. I like it.

Thanks. It took a lot to get it this way.

-[chattering] -Oh, there you are, Perry.

Isn't today great? Today is such a great day.

Everything is so great.

My, Candace, what's got you in such a good mood?

Jeremy asked me to go play croquet with him in the park.

OK, well, be sure to be home in time for the barbecue.

We're gonna be watching Kermillian's Comet fly past the Earth.

A comet? Cool.

It only comes around every 73 1/2 years.

We'll be barbecuing steaks for the whole neighborhood.

-Why don't you bring Jeremy? -You had me at "steaks."

Why is it called Kermillian's Comet, Dad?

Kermillian's Comet was named after an ancient Danville astronomer

Augustus Kermillian who discovered the comet.

It's also been said that if you wish on a comet,

your wish will come true.

Wow. Come on, Ferb. I know what we're gonna do today.

By the way, where is Perry?

[Monogram] Agent P, sorry to disturb you, but we have an emergency.

We've just been informed that all steaks in the Tri-state Area

have disappeared.

This has Doofenshmirtz written all over it.

Go lay your smackdown on him, Agent P.

The fate of the world rests entirely in your hands.

The fate of the world?

Uh, welcome to our telethon.

If you're just joining us, your dollars are helping us to find a cure for...

antidisestablishmentarianism.

Goodness me, that sounds dreadful.

Oh, it is. It, um, makes you look pale and weak,

like this young lad.

Oh, dear, the poor thing. Look at that.

Wait a minute. Antidisestablishmentarianism?

That's more of an ideological stance than a disease.

-Isn't it? -Uh, well, look at that.

Seems they just found a cure.

Thanks to all the viewers who donated. Bye now.

Honey, you ready to go?

Yeah, sure. Hey, did you know they've just found a cure for

antidisestablishmentarianism?

Great. I can finally take off this puce ribbon.

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪

-Hey, Candace. -Hi, Jeremy.

You remember my little sister Suzy.

But I thought it was just going to be us.

Well, my folks asked me to keep an eye on Suzy for the afternoon.

-Who's my favorite girl? -I am. I am.

[giggles] Would you show me how to play croquet?

Sure thing, kiddo.

Is this pie homemade?

Yeah, my mom made it.

I'll go get some plates out of the picnic basket.

Well, tell her that it's just--

Candace, what happened?

I don't know.

Wait here. I'll go get a towel.

So we meet again, Candace Flynn.

There's only room for one girl in Jeremy's life,

and that is me.

And here he comes now.

-Jeremy! -Here's the towel.

Sorry about the pie. I don't know what happened.

Oh, that's OK. You want a soda?

Yeah, that'd be great. Here, take mine.

Oh, thank you. That was really--

Candace, there's some street performers over there that--

I'll go get another towel.

These are the blueprints for our giant observatory, Ferb.

First thing we need is a lens.

[man scatting]

Cool. Hey, Ferb, new hairdo. Check it out.

Hey, Phineas. Whatcha doin'?

Ferb and I are building a giant observatory

to watch Kermillian's Comet tonight.

Ooh, that sounds like fun.

We're gonna put on a laser lightshow

and, as a grand finale, we're gonna laser our faces into the comet.

That way, when it comes back in 73 1/2 years,

we can all show our grandchildren.

Oh, yeah, my parents are cooking steaks for everyone.

You had me at "our grandchildren."

-[record scratches] -What?

Steaks. You had me at "steaks."

OK, we need to get ten t-bones... No steaks?

Oh, dear. Let's try uptown.

So, you wanna see those street performers?

Sure.

I'm gonna go grab some snacks. I'll meet you over there.

OK. Come on, Suzy. Let's go... Suzy? Suzy?

Here you go. There's plenty for everyone.

Well, hello there, little girl.

Hello. Could I have some nuts to feed the squirrels?

I'd love to, but I only have one left.

-Gimme the nuts! -Ah! [whimpers]

Thank you.

Suzy? Suzy? Where are you?

[screaming]

[screaming]

♪ Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream ♪

[Candace screaming]

[squirrels chirping]

I have squirrels in my pants.

That girl's got some serious squirrels in her pants.

There are squirrels in my pants.

♪ Tell me what's makin' you Jump like that ♪

♪ S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants ♪

♪ Ain't got no chickens, Ain't got no rats ♪

Squirrels in my pants!

♪ S to the I to the M to the P ♪

♪ Then maybe you can be movin' like me ♪

♪ Step right over And watch me put it down ♪

♪ Step right over and watch me put a... ♪

♪ S to the I to the M to the P ♪

♪ Who ya got back home Watering your plants? ♪

♪ S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants ♪

♪ How can I qualify For government grants? ♪

-♪ S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Hypnotize me, put me in a trance ♪

♪ S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants ♪

♪ Get an Aunt Florence Living in France ♪

-♪ She can't see the... ♪ -Squirrels in my pants!

♪ Step right over And watch me put it down ♪

Squirrels!

♪ Step right over and watch me put it... ♪

♪ S to the I to the M to the P ♪

[screaming]

[chittering]

Wow, she had actual squirrels in her pants.

We just got served.

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

One moment, please.

Perry the Platypus?

-What are you looking at? -Oh, these.

Yes, these are my latest invention...

steak specs.

I came up with the idea after your last little visit.

With these on, you don't have to constantly hold

a piece of steak to your black eye. See?

I plan on mass-producing these. I'll make millions.

Let me show you.

I've stolen all the steaks in the Tri-State Area,

and I keep them here in my steak containment unit

or SCA, for short, or maybe it should be SCU.

I'm a littleon the fence about-- Wait. What are you doing?

Oh, that? That's just a giant heat ray

in case I want to do something evil later.

-[ice cream music] -Why don't you stay here with Suzy

and I'll go buy you some ice cream?

No, no, no. You stay here, I'll go buy the ice cream.

[stammers]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Oh, man, we got served again.

I'm goin' back to culinary school.

[sreaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[squirrels chittering]

[Candace groans]

Candace?

Here you go. All they had was fudgie bars.

Candace, what happened?

There were so many of 'em. The horror, the horror.

Maybe you should sit down. So what happened again?

Are you OK? I have something that will make you smile.

I want you to meet Mr. Chippy.

[screaming]

Get that sick creature away from me!

Candace, it's OK. It's just a squirrel.

That's not the one I'm talking about.

What happened to her?

I don't know, but these violent moods are probably a sign

-of deeper emotional imbalance. -What?

[innocent laugh] Bubbles.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Observa-Ferb-atory.

Step this way, please. Single-file line.

The laser show will begin momentarily.

Please, no flash photography or cell phones. Thank you.

All right, Ferb, that's everyone. Kill the lights.

[Phineas] Space: it's really big.

It's filled with planets of all shapes and sizes

and millions of shiny stars.

Space has also got huge comets soaring through it,

including one named after the ancient Danville astronomer, Kermillian.

-[applause] -What's going on?

Phineas.

And now, behold... Kermillian's Comet.

Commence laser-engraving sequence.

Phineas, you guys put your face on a comet?

Ooh, I'm telling mom.

Good idea, Candace. She's gonna love it.

You're not trying to hack into the ray-gun system, are you?

Wait, what am I worried about?

You'll never guess my super-secret password.

[computer] Doofalicious Access granted.

OK, that's enough.

[computer] Sistem overload.

[graunts] This should be fun.

Oh, wow!

Ferb, take it easy with the lasers.

Remember, we still got an 8:30 show.

Can I have everyone's attention? Please don't panic.

We're experiencing technical difficulties.

Calmly head towards the exits in a calm, orderly--

OK, now you can panic.

[screaming]

Ferb, what's happening?

That was so cool.

[cheering]

Stop this, SCA!

Now that I'm looking at the sign,

I think it really does look more like SCU.

Stop this, SCU!

Come back here! Perry the Platypus, come back.

Ooh, something smells delicious.

Curse you, Perry the Platypus.

I can't believe we drove around the whole city

and couldn't find one steak.

Mom, they used a laser to carve their faces in the comet.

-Candace, I don't see anything. -No, no, no.

You could only see it from their observatory.

Come on, come on. See?

[Lawrence] Well, I don't see an observatory.

Sorry, everyone.

We looked all over town, and we couldn't find any steaks.

[all groan]

And I even brought my own plate.

At least we can all enjoy Kermillian's Comet together.

Yeah, before it disappears for another 73 1/2 years.

Just wait. When I'm 88, you will be so busted.

Actually, you'd be 88 1/2.

[Candace] Whatever!

So, honey, make a wish.

-I wish we had steaks. -Yeah, me too.

I'll be honest, I didn't think that would work.

I did not bring a plate. I thought they would be provided.

-Dude, we keep getting served. -Yeah, I'm gettin' used to it.

Candace, are you OK?

You mean you came over to check on me?

Of course.

Oh, there you are, Perry.

So, that's Kermillian's Comet. Did you make a wish?

Yes.

-And did it come true? -It just did.

♪ Who you got back home Watering your plants? ♪

♪ S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants ♪

♪ How can I qualify for government grants? ♪

-♪ S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Hypnotize me, put me in a trance ♪

♪ S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants ♪

♪ Got an Aunt Florence Living in France ♪

- ♪ She can't see the... ♪ -Squirrels in my pants!

♪ Step right over And watch me put it down ♪

♪ Step right over and watch me put it... ♪

♪ S to the I to the M to the P ♪

Wow, she had actual squirrels in her pants.