Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something That doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a Dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[radio announcer] We are giving away free tickets to see

everyone's favorite girl rockers,

-The Bettys. -[screams]

All you have to do is be the 444 and 4/4 caller...

I love fractions.

...and you and your best Betty buddy

will get to ride with the band on The Betty bus

-to see the show. -[screams]

-Call now. -Oh, it's busy!

I've just gotta win! Clearly I'm their biggest fan.

See? Even my Betty boom box which rests on my Betty bedside table

next to my Betty bed runs on Betty batteries.

-Obsession rocks! -I know!

Oh, it's ringing.

[phone announcer] Congratulations, you're the winning caller.

[screams]

Imagine, a whole day of hanging with Crash and the band!

And, as an added bonus,

a whole day of not thinking about my goofy brothers.

[gasps] Just me, you and The Bettys!

-[horn honks] -Ah! They're here!

Bye! Enjoy your music concert!

-[Linda] Be careful! -[Phineas] Have fun on your journey.

I can't believe we're about to board The Betty Bus!

I bet the bus driver's gonna be a spaced-out rocker!

H-Hello, girls. My name is Dennis, and I'm with the radio station.

[pig squeals]

That is Sir Bacon, the band's mascot. According to our focus groups,

girls your age overwhelmingly find that cool.

[gasps] [Candace and Stacy] Totally!

Woah, this place is a total pigsty.

[Candace and Stacy] We love it!

Look, Stacy, it's them!

Shh, they're creating.

♪ ...between shows ♪

♪ Here comes two chicks Nobody knows ♪

-Wow! -We're your biggest fans!

Yeah, we won the contest. Now we get to hang out with you all day.

[British accent] Well, just keep it down. We're trying to write a song.

-Sure thing. -Oh, no problem.

-[giggles] -[strumming]

-Oh, my gosh! -It's The Betty Bass Guitar!

-I know, I know, I know, I know! -[sighs]

Check this out.

So tell me, girls, would you like to be part of the music-making process

and help us write a song?

Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh!

-[Candace and Stacy] Would we? -Great.

First, we can't possibly write a song in this filth,

so you girls can start by cleanin' up the bus.

Here you go.

All right, Ferb, what should we do today?

One, an escalator to the moon?

Two, become secret agents? Three, clone giant hamsters?

Hey, where's Perry?

Huh. I wonder where he goes when we can't find him.

What the...? Some sort of secret room? Wow.

[spy music]

What in the world? A secret underground headquarters

with a particle disrupter and, oh, a hovercraft.

Looks like we're gonna be secret agents, huh?

When did you find the time to build all this, Ferb?

-Actually, I-- Hello, Agent P. Hang on, hang on.

It's, uh, here somewhere on this clipboard

from which I have yet to look up.

Agent P. P for Phineas. Nice touch, Ferb.

-Actually-- -[Monogram] Ah, yes, here it is.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Huh, what a surprise.

Building some sort of destructo ray. End of the world.

Yada, yada, yada. I'm faxing you the coordinates.

-[beep] -[Phineas] Cool!

Great googly-moogly!

Do...

Carl. Carl, who are those kids?

Oh, boy. They're Agent P's owners, sir.

Looks like they found one of our secret tunnels.

Sweet! We got our mission, Agent F. To the hover jet!

♪ Phineas and Ferb, Phineas and Ferb ♪

Is that the hover jet? Oh, no, they didn't.

There you are, Agent P. Those boys are in jeopardy

and not covered under our hover jet insurance plan,

so, stop Doofenshmirtz and protect those boys.

Oh, and where are you going,

Mr. The Boys Will Never Find A Tree Tunnel?

♪ Phineas and Ferb, Phineas and Ferb ♪

Wow... Laser beam, magnet ray, cup holder?

-You really thought of everything, Ferb. -Actually--

Hold that thought. The Bettys' tour bus!

Candace is on there. We should go say hi.

We're all done cleaning the bus.

Oh, we can't get to our song till we deal with our fan mail.

-Think you could help? -Oh, my gosh!

-Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh... -Great.

[British accent] You can start with this bag. Ugh.

[British accent] And here's the shredder.

-Check this one out. -Ahem.

"Beloved Bettys, your band is the biggest, baddest, most bangin' buncha-- "

Hey, this is my letter. They didn't even read it.

Yeah, but don't forget, we are on the bus helping

the band write a song.

Yeah, I guess you're right. And you know what the best part is?

I haven't even thought about my brothers the whole day.

♪ Phineas and Ferb... ♪

Stacy, look, it's my brothers!

-Huh? I don't see anything. -B-But I could've sworn I--

I think the cleaning supplies are starting to get to you.

That must be it. That's gotta be it. I'm not even gonna look.

[Monogram] Stop Doofenshmirtz. Protect the boys.

Stop Doofenshmirtz. Protect the boys.

[humming]

Ah, nothing like a nice snack before testing the Destruct-Inator. Ah!

Hey, Perry the Platypus, why do you always go for the nose?

Here you go.

All 250,000 letters opened and shredded.

Oh, I just thought of something. The outside of this bus is dirty, too.

You know, Stacy, I'm beginning to think that The Bettys

have just been taking advantage of us this whole time.

What are you talking about? They've been nothing but... Look out!

[screams]

...nice to us since we got on the bus!

[action music]

[laughs] My automatic tennis ball server

can go all night, Perry The Plat--

[computer voice] Destruct-Inator countdown initiated.

30 seconds to activation.

30, 29...

Wow, Ferb, this evil villain lair is awesome.

I see you carved it out with dynamite. Nice, nice.

Aw, cool, you got an automatic tennis ball server! Sweet!

Hey, what's going on, Perry the Platypus?

[muffled speech]

Well, we're finished washing the outside of the bus.

It nearly killed us, but we're finished!

Great work, girls. You've earned a special "surprise."

-Really? -You get to scrub the toilets.

-What? -Yay, toilets!

And be sure to get underneath the lid!

Ah, that is it. We're through being your tour monkeys.

-Right, Stace? -Yay, a Betty Bowl Brush!

You've just been using us this whole trip.

I mean, is this how you treat your fans?

It should be your fans that inspire you to make music.

I mean, if you can't see that by now,

then you can just drop me off at the next Betty Bus Stop.

Unfortunately, guys, she's right.

I feel like a bit of a Betty butthead.

We're sorry for treating you so bad. How can we ever make it up to you?

I'll let you bang my Betty Bongos.

Or play my Betty Bass Guitar.

Hey, guys, that's it!

♪ You gotta bang your Betty Bongos ♪

♪ And bring your Betty Bass Guitar And with the Betty back-beat ♪

[Crash] Um...

...you'll go Betty, Betty far?

Perfect! That rocks.

Hey, girls, what's goin' on?

We just helped the Bettys write. Wait a second.

Dennis, if you're here, then who's driving the bus?

Oh, come on, I'll show you.

-Autopilot. -[Candace and Stacy] Wow, cool!

[computer voice] Seven...

By the way, I love that giant ray gun counting down to zero.

OK, seriously, when did you make all this?

-...One. -Look, for the last time, I didn't--

-[tension music] -[screams]

He fainted!

-[screams] -[groans]

There's something wrong with the Betty Brakes,

and I can't stop the autopilot!

Grab the Betty Emergency Brake!

[gasps]

The Betty Brake broke!

How did you make a working destructo ray?

-[screams] -[engine whirring]

Hey, that's the bus Candace is on. I get it. We have to save Candace.

What a cool mission!

♪ Phineas and Ferb, Phineas and Ferb ♪

[screams]

Say, what's all the fussin' about?

[screams]

[spy music]

-[whistles] -[Doofenshmirtz] Curse you,

Perry the Plat--

Bleah.

Curse you, Perry the Plat--

Bleah. Curse you, Perry the--

Bleah. Why did I buy so many mops?

[screams]

We're coming, Candace!

[screams]

Agent F, activate the magnet ray!

[Phineas] It's too heavy!

[Crash] Whatever you're doing, it's working!

Ferb, you designed this thing.

[imitating Captain Kirk] Can you give me... any more power?

Excellent.

♪ Agent P ♪

We did it! Our sister's safe!

-Brilliant! -You did it!

[cheering]

Agent F, let's head home.

Way to go, Candace! Now we are your biggest fans.

How can we thank you?

Well, you can come to my house and clean up my room.

[laughs, snorts]

I'm serious.

How about you sing with us onstage instead?

-[gasps] -[Candace and Stacy] It's a deal!

[squealing]

I can't wait to get home and tell Mom all about our secret spy adventure.

Hey, what's goin' on?

It's like we're stuck in some sort of tractor beam.

-[Phineas] Ah! -[splash]

Hi, Phineas. Seriously, Phineas, what are you doing?

[imitating James Bond] That, my friend, is classified information.

Oh, what a great day.

Not one phone call from Candace with some crazy,

-unbelievable story-- -Mom! Mom! Guess what Ferb did.

He made a secret tunnel and a spy headquarters

and a villain's lair and a hover jet shaped like Perry.

-Tell her, Ferb. -Actually, I--

Wait a second. Why are you two soaking wet?

Ugh! I give up!

-We fell in Isabella's pool. -Well, that I believe.

Oh, hi, Perry. I wonder how Candace is doing.

Oi! We'd like to bring a very special person to the stage.

She's not only Bettys' best fan,

but she also saved all of our lives!

Ladies and gentlemen, Candace, and her best friend Stacy!

[crowd cheering]

♪ You gotta bang your Betty Bongos And bring your Betty Bass Guitar ♪

♪ And with the Betty back-beat You'll go Betty, Betty far ♪

♪ So drop your boring baggage And come with Missy, Tink and Crash ♪

♪ There's a Betty, there's a Betty, Bandwagon ♪

♪ Goin' to a Betty Bash, Goin' to a Betty Bash ♪

♪ Get ready for The Bettys, Ready for The Bettys ♪

♪ Get ready for The Bettys, Ready for The Bettys ♪

♪ Ready for The Bettys! Ready for The Bettys, ready for The Bettys ♪

♪ It's the best thing you can do, Best thing you can do ♪

♪ Get ready for The Bettys 'Cause The Bettys are ready for you ♪

What do you think your brothers are doing right now?

Who cares?

[Leeds accent] [Reg] That, ladies and gents,

is how I defeated the wild tigers in the Amazon.

Awesome story, Grandpa Reg.

Well, I'm sure you're going to hear plenty more fantastical stories

during Gran and Gramps' visit.

You know, hon, I was thinking we could all head to the mall.

What a splendid idea!

I'd love to treat Candace to some new clothes.

[gasps] I'll be in the... car.

Hey, Mom. Could we just stay home

and hear some more of Grandpa's cool stories?

-Sounds good to me. -Wonderful.

[Lawrence] We'll see you boys later.

My boy, what's this behind your ear?

-It's me scrapbook! -How'd you do that?

It's just a little bit of "How's your father."

I may seem like a barmy ol' git now, but when I wasn't so long in the tooth,

I had some grand larks and engaged in a fair amount of derring-do.

Translate.

When he was younger, he did a bunch of stuff.

Here I am as a young lad.

I made my livin' work at the family Fish and Chips shop.

[chuckles] But I was destined for bigger things.

I was known as The Great Flying Fishmonger.

Here's my first jump over my dear Mum's tea society.

Me jumpin' a whale, a ton of crumpets, the Queen Mum.

But there was one jump that haunts me to this day,

McGregor's Gorge of Doom.

[Reg] People turned out by the thousands

to witness me and my trusty motorbike, the Holy Mackerel,

make our biggest jump yet. The event was so massive,

I hired a local band to write me a theme song.

♪ He's a Fishmonger, and he flies ♪

But it wasn't exactly a toe-tapper.

Then all of a sudden, it started to rain.

I'd have to postpone my great feat.

A second go at it weeks later had the same result!

And yet another attempt, nothing but blasted rain again.

-Let's go. -Yeah.

I've got teeth not to brush.

Over the years, my eyesight went,

and with the lumbago... [creak]

[grunts] Sciatica...

Bursitis and... Wait for it...

[boing] Trick knee,

jumpin' McGregor's Gorge is an intention lost to the past.

Wow, Grandpa, so what ever happened to the Holy Mackerel?

She's right over there.

Although I see your mother turned her into a lamp.

Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

[Candace] Oh, Grandma, you're gonna love this mall.

I'll show you my favorite store, and there's this little dress that...

-[ding] -Hmm...

Stacy, I have a strange feeling

that ground was just broken in my backyard.

I need you to get over there and tell me what's going on.

[trucks beeping]

[Phineas] Judging from this photo of McGregor's Gorge, we're right on track.

-Who's the tiger? -[Isabella] Hey, Phineas,

whatcha doin'?

Hey, Isabella. We're helping Grandpa Reg fulfill his crushed dreams.

Where's Ferb? He's in the garage restoring a mackerel.

[rock music]

Cool. Well, I brought this cute little toy over for Perry.

-Where is he? -Huh. I don't know.

-[spy music] -Oh,

hey, Agent P. Monogram's thrown his back out...

[Monogram] I'm on the floor, Agent P.

So, I'll be giving you your assignment, OK? OK.

-[Monogram] Do a closeup. -Huh? Oh, yeah. Huh.

[Carl] Ahem.

Doofenshmirtz has been purchasing some suspicious items,

bags of sand, an extra-long shoelace. We know he's up to no good.

Get out there and see what he's up to.

-How was that? -[Monogram] Just hand me my pills, Carl.

-What's all the kerfuffle, lads? -You can open your eyes now.

Blimey!

It's McGregor's Gorge and the Holy Mackerel!

Ferb, you've restored my pride and joy!

But, uh, I can't operate a motorbike in my condition.

Remember the... [creak, boing]

Not a problem. Ferb's tricked out the entire bike.

Lumbar support, padded seating, ergonomic controls,

and the best part... side cars!

See, as much as we wanna help you fulfill your dream,

we also really wanna jump a gorge.

Well, then you'll come with me. The Flyin' Fishmongers shall jump again!

[fanfare]

[Winifred] Oh, my dear,

you like a queen. Brava!

Uh, can we get out of here, like, now? Before anyone I know happens to see--

Candace? I almost didn't recognize you.

Jeremy! I-I, uh...

I gotta meet my Mom in the food court, but... I'll see ya later?

-[groans] -[cell phone ringing]

Hello? Oh, hey, Stacy.

Mom, Stacy just told me the boys built a huge gorge in the backyard!

That hat might be a bit too tight.

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

[suspense theme]

[record needle scratch]

Oh, just come in... into my trap. Yes.

Sticky flypaper, Perry the Platypus.

[mocking, laughing] Quick story?

Back in Druselstein in the days of my youth,

there was a bully named Boris who always wore big black boots.

They called him "Big Black Boots Boris the Bully."

[Doofenshmirtz] He was always kicking sand in my face.

When I was in the sandbox, sand!

My first date, sand!

Balancing my checkbook, sand! The beach...

Oddly enough, nothing.

But I couldn't relax, because I kept waiting for it.

Now, though, he will be the one doing the waiting.

Behold! Now, Who'd Blinded by Sand-Inator!

Maybe the Who's Crying Now-Inator or, something like...

something with the "Inator" suffix.

In any case, it's a giant sand kicking machine!

You see, Perry the Platypus, Boris has moved to the Tri-State Area,

so now, I am going to cover his entire house in sand!

[laughs maniacally]

Come see the Flying Fishmongers jump McGregor's Gorge!

-Tell your friends! -Do you know how dumb you look?

I thought it would be a good way to get more attention.

I love your outfit. It's so cute.

-Gorge jump! -Gorge jump!

Fishmongers fly again!

[announcer] Come see The Flying Fishmonger jump the gorge

-live. -[Candace gasps]

That's our yard. Mom, Mom, come here! I need you to see this!

[announcer] Sponsored by Gorgeous Cream Pore Paste.

Oh, honey, your pores aren't that big.

And now, what you've all come to see,

The Flying Fishmongers!

[crowd cheering, whistling]

And here to play the Fishmongers' Anthem

are Isabella and the Fireside Girls. Hit it.

♪ He's a fishmonger, and he flies... ♪

Well, me boy, looks like I'll never get to fulfill my dream.

-Hey, guys, you can stop playing. -[music stops]

Wait a second. Start again.

♪ He's a fishmonger ♪

Stop. Start.

♪ He's a fishmonger... ♪

Grandpa! The song is so dreary, it's causing it to rain.

What if we pep it up a bit? Pep away, me boy.

Hey, Isabella, crank it up a notch!

Okey-dokey. Ready, girls?

♪ Holy, Holy Mackerel Holy, Holy Mackerel ♪

♪ Holy, Holy Mackerel Holy, Holy Mackerel ♪

♪ He's bald on top, He's got an artificial hip ♪

♪ He's gonna take a hop, He's gonna take a trip ♪

♪ He's weak in the knees, And he can't find his keys ♪

♪ But put your hands together, 'Cause he's here to please ♪

♪ He's a Flyin' Fishmonger Flyin' fishmonger ♪

♪ He's a Flyin' Fishmonger Death-Defying wonder! ♪

♪ He's a Flyin' Fishmonger With nerves of steel ♪

♪ He's got an old blender motor And a pair of wheels ♪

[motor revving]

Extra! Extra! Fishmonger and kids jump McGregor's Gorge!

[crowd cheering]

Extra! Extra! Fishmonger and kids plummet to their doom!

Maybe we should have let it rain!

Don't worry, Grandpa. We've got a backup plan.

Ferb?

[engine revs]

[Reg] Good show!

Extra! Extra. Oh, forget it.

Well, that can't be good.

Spot of tea?

Yeah, all right.

Dad, can we speed up this pony ride a little?

Honey, I'll have you ladies home in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

-[tires screech] -Whoo! That was a close one.

[kids] Oh.

[engine revving]

[crowd cheering wildly]

Good show, me boy! Good show!

[March theme]

[chuckles] The home of my former nemesis.

Time to kick a little sand, eh, Perry the Platypus?

♪ Perry! ♪

Tube socks? What is this, 1974? Well, it's too late now.

-[crash] -Oh! What are you doing?

-[Winifred] Home again, home again. -[Candace] Ugh, finally.

Thank you, lads, for helping this old codger fulfill his dream.

Ha! You guys are so busted.

Look at this! It's even better than I thought.

There's no way you're gonna get outta this one.

Oh, Mom... Mom!

Cut it out, Perry the Platypus. No grabbies.

Ha! No stopping it now!

[clang]

Even on my Sand-kicking machine, sand!

♪ Agent P! ♪

[Doofenshmirtz] Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

I must say, love the new anthem.

-Hey, Perry. -But I do miss the old one.

Couldn't I hear it one last time?

You got it, Grandpa. One last time, girls.

♪ He's a Fishmonger, and he flies ♪

♪ He's a Fishmonger, and he flies ♪

These two have really done it this time, Mom.

Look what they did to the backyard.

Wow! You guys made the lawn look great.

Oh, it's all weeded and watered.

-Oh, well done. -I... I...

-[Candace squeaks] I... -What else did you do today?

Well, these two roister-doisters wheeled out me old iron,

built a crackin' match for McGregor's Gorge,

and helped this daft ol' git have one last knees-up.

I have absolutely no idea.

♪ Holy, Holy Mackerel Holy, Holy Mackerel ♪

♪ Holy, Holy Mackerel ♪

♪ He's bald on top, He's got an artificial hip ♪

♪ He's gonna take a hop, He's gonna take a trip ♪

♪ He's weak in the knees, And he can't find his keys ♪

♪ But put your hands together, 'Cause he's here to please ♪

♪ He's a Flyin' Fishmonger Flyin' Fishmonger ♪

♪ He's a Flyin' Fishmonger Death-Defying wonder! ♪

♪ He's a Flyin' Fishmonger With nerves of steel ♪

♪ He's got an old blender motor And a pair of wheels ♪