Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something That doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a Dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[Candace] Ahem.

[scatting]

-[snoring] -[scat singing]

Ferb, are you hearing what I'm hearing?

Candace singing. Early in the morning.

♪ Mom, it's your birthday ♪

♪ Thanks for all the care And love you give ♪

Yeah, yeah, that's all right. I like that.

♪ Mom, it's your birthday ♪

-[Candace playing the bass] -It's Mom's birthday!

How can we forget Mom's birthday? Where have all the days gone?

-[screaming] -We can't forget Mom's birthday.

We can't forget Mom's birthday.

-[horses neighing and cows mooing] -We can't forget Mom's birthday.

We can't forget Mom's birthday.

-[Phineas playing the guitar] -We can't forget Mom's birthday.

[roaring]

Isn't there something I'm supposed to remember?

We should do something nice for Mom,

what with Dad being out of town on business and all.

[Candace] OK, Candace, once from the top.

♪ Mom, it's your birthday ♪

I got an idea.

♪ Eggs and bacon Oh, yeah ♪

Mom, let me be the first to say--

-[Phineas and Ferb Theme Instrumental] -Happy birthday, Mom!

We brought you some periodicals,

like Mom Daily, Mom Weekly, Mom Bi-weekly,

and just the way you like it, half-caff, double-frapp,

mocha choco-latte mezzo-espresso.

Oh, wow. You boys really outdid yourselves.

Au contraire, mon mere.

I declare it's our mission to give you best birthday ever.

So relax, enjoy some reading, and no peeking till we come get you.

Oh, those boys are too much. Mmm.

Oh, I smell eggs and bacon.

Thank you, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro.

We appreciate you helping us out. Oh, another call.

[beep] Talk to me.

Buford, my man. Uh, hold on.

Needs roughage.

Thanks, Buford. Glad we can count on you.

[clears throat]

Hey, Candace.

Wanna man the omelet station for Mom's birthday?

I'm doing my own thing.

Well, aren't you going to ask me what it is?

Sure. Uh, what are you doing?

It's a secret.

Hey, where's Perry?

[spy music]

Morning, Agent P.

17 minutes ago, our spy satellites located Doofenshmirtz.

He's hiding out in his mountaintop castle laboratory,

where he's purchased some suspicious items over the internet,

including a giant metal sphere

and two animatronic wax robots,

you know, like they have at theme parks.

Gosh, those things give me the creeps,

the way they're all robotic and waxy.

[shudders]

♪ Perry ♪

The boys may have won breakfast,

but wait'll Mom sees this homemade birthday card.

"Love, the child who loves you most, Candace."

All right, Mom. Almost there.

Oh, this is so exciting.

[Phineas] OK, you can look.

Happy birthday!

[Linda gasps] What a beautiful breakfast!

Mom?

Made with love.

And sweat.

And by "sweat," you mean hard work.

Uh, sure.

Mom, this may not be a fantastic breakfast, but--

[Phineas] Ladies and gentlemen,

-Mom's birthday card! -[gasping]

[Candace] "To Mom"?

Heh. It may be big, but boring.

-[Broadway music] -[fanfare and noisemakers]

[Mom] Oh, boys.

I can't believe you two made it yourselves.

[Doofenshmirtz] Ah, The Unicorn Whisperer,

the feel-good movie of the year.

And soon it will be gone!

[laughs maniacally]

Oh, no! It's Perry the Platypus.

Ha! I fooled you, Perry the Platypus. I'm not really scared!

[laughs] I'm not scared, because

I have a new security system. Voilà.

Ha ha! Do you like them, Perry the Platypus?

[Wax Robots] Get him.

[Doofenshmirtz] I got them very cheap from a wax museum that went bankrupt.

[laughs]

I love it when dreams fail.

As you know, I've been trying to take over

the Tri-State Area for quite some time now,

and I realized this Tri-State Area's

filled with things I detest, so many things,

-like... like blinking traffic arrows. -[bleep]

Stop blinking at me, telling me where to go!

Point. Point. Point. Oh, I hate you.

Let's see, what else?

Ear hair. Oh, yes, I've always hated you.

Pelicans. Terrible creatures.

What... what are you, a bird or a garbage disposal?

Uh, musical instruments that start with the letter "B."

You get the idea. It's a long list. I've been working on it for a while.

Anyway, I realized I should build something

that would make all those awful things disappear.

Behold, Perry the Platypus.

[Doofenshmirtz] Shrink-spheria!

[dramatic music]

You like it? I was going to call it a Shrinkinator,

but I've done that whole "inator" thing before.

It's just been done to death.

Bring him over here. I want to show him how it works.

I enter the name of something I hate.

P-e-l-i-c-a-n. Pelican.

And Shrink-spheria hones in on its molecular structure

and then turns all the particles into sparticles,

thereby shrinking it into a teeny, tiny speck so small

I never have to see it again.

So, goodbye to you, Perry the Platypus.

Enjoy your presidential suite.

[laughs maniacally] [slam]

Glad you like the card, Mom.

It's a simple postmodern fusion of origami and pop-up.

Yeah, and just wait till you see your present.

OK. Stay right there.

Oh, I hope the boys don't go overboard with my present.

All I'd really like is that dress from that cute little sundress shop.

You mean that really cute one with the polka dots?

I know what she wants. Cute little sundress.

Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress.

Hey, Perry the Platypus, say goodbye to blinking detour signs!

Forever!

[laughs maniacally]

Yes! I'm an evil genius! Ha ha ha ha!

Now I have to wait four minutes for it to recharge,

which isn't so bad. I think I'll go with pelicans next.

What do you think, Perry the Platypus? Pelicans next?

[guitar solo]

I cannot tell a lie.

I'm melting.

Cute little sundress.

Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress.

Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress.

Cute little sundress.

Yoo-hoo! Mr. Pelican, I'm going to shrink you now.

[giggles]

Wh-why is it not working?

-Something's blocking the-- -[rattling]

Hey!

Hey, everybody! Look what-- You gotta be kidding me.

Our first supermodel sports a chic, stylin',

not couture sundress perfect for our birthday queen

to sip iced lattes while enjoying a faboo day in the sun.

Huh. Well, they have the wrong sundress.

It's OK, but it is not as great as this.

Ah! Ah!

Candace. Candace! Where'd she go?

Ow! [groans]

Oh, well. Goodbye to musical instruments

that start with "B"!

[pants]

Wait a minute! I can still give Mom

the one thing the boys can't, the gift of music

played on my friend, the bass.

Heh. Oh, well, it's a good thing I play the banjo.

It's a good thing I play the bassoon.

It's a good thing I play the bugle.

It's a good thing I play the bongos.

[narrator] Five minutes later...

[sobbing] It's a good thing I play the balalaika.

It's a good thing I play the bagpipe.

I should've manned the omelet station.

Candace, honey, come join us.

The boys have put together a little video.

Yeah. Here. You can do the honors.

Fine, whatever.

[Phineas] Happy birthday, Mom.

From birth, to young adult

to mid-sized adult,

from the eighties to the nineties, Mom enchants everyone she meets.

But who is this person we call Mom?

Uhh!

[whirring]

[Wax Abraham Lincoln Robot] A house divided cannot stand.

[Wax George Washington Robot] Yeah, what he said.

Oh, Perry the Platypus, you melted their wax,

but you can never melt what's inside, pure evil!

Eh, I should have seen that coming.

[Wax Abraham Lincoln Robot] We can't seem to get a break.

[Wax George Washington Robot] Your breath smells like candles.

Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

[mellow music]

-It's this wonderful? -Yeah, really great.

But a true testament to what a great Mom you are,

is that your daughter would take the time to write this song.

♪ Mom, it's your birthday ♪

♪ Thanks for all the care And love you give ♪

Nice song, sis.

♪ Not to mention the meals ♪

♪ And times I get kind of nervous ♪

Come on.

♪ And forget to tell you how I feel ♪

[scat singing]

♪ I'm a little high-strung ♪

♪ It's just because I'm young ♪

♪ Mom, I adore ya ♪

♪ And I'll do anything for ya ♪

♪ Although my brothers Make me frantic ♪

♪ With every single crazy antic ♪

♪ And when I'm bouncin' Off the walls ♪

♪ You're the one Who stays calm ♪

♪ You're the one Who stays calm ♪

♪ Because you love me For who I am ♪

♪ I'll always love you, Mom ♪

♪ Oh ♪

[crowd applauding]

What a beautiful song, honey.

I only wish Dad could have heard it.

Well, I really wanted you to have a happy bir--

Oh, I almost forgot! We set up a satellite up-link with Dad.

Oh! A satellite up-link?

Hello, love. Happy birthday.

Hi, honey. I miss you. And you're missing the festivities.

The boys threw me the greatest party,

and Candace wrote me this really amazing song.

Can you hear me?

♪ Oh... ♪

Oh, hey, Perry. Where have you been?

You missed all the fun.

[chattering]

[Linda] What a beautiful summer day.

Do you boys have anything exciting planned?

We're either gonna make this nuclear-powered submarine

or this incredible shrinking ray.

But for some reason, Ferb and I can't seem to make up our minds.

Well, I've made up my mind.

You two have the most wonderful imaginations.

-It's real, you know. -What's real, dear?

The submarine? The shrinking ray? They're really gonna build that stuff.

Well, actually we haven't decided yet.

Anyway, when I try to bust them, everything will just magically disappear.

Always happens, you'll see.

Well, you won't see. I'll see, trust me.

As usual, the imagination in this room is astounding.

[cell phone ringing]

-Hello? -[Jeremy] Hi, Candace.

It's Jeremy. I was wondering if you wanted to go for

a walk today?

I would very much enjoy going for a walk.

Wherever shall we go?

To my uncle's restaurant?

Yes! That sounds do-able! Why not pick me up around noon?

OK. Goodbye. [beep]

Oh, my gosh! Guess who just called

and asked me out on a date!

-[Stacy] Who? -Jeremy!

[Stacy and Candace screaming]

[Stacy] Hold on! Let's conference in Jenny!

OK! [beep]

-[screaming] -Let's go outside!

Submarine, shrinking ray. I just can't make up my mind.

[Isabella] Whatcha doin'?

Oh. Hi, Isabella.

Hi, Phineas. You remember Pinky.

Oh, yeah! Hi, Pinky.

Hey, check out my new sash! It's got all my accomplishment

patches sewn onto it.

-See? -Wow.

That looks totally irreplaceable.

[mariachi music]

-[sobbing] -Oh, no!

Pinky, I need that sash for a Fireside Girls ceremony

this afternoon!

Don't worry, Isabella. We'll get your sash back.

But how? It's in Pinky's stomach.

Hmm... Ferb, you're a genius!

Hey, where's Perry?

[spy music]

Agent P, thanks for coming. It's Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

He's been hiding out in the old abandoned vacuum cleaner factory.

You know, that building across town with the giant vacuum cleaner on top?

Man, I can't believe that place closed. I blame the internet.

Your mission, Agent P, is to find out

what Doofenshmirtz is up to and then stop him.

[Isabella] So, how are we gonna retrieve my sash?

Here. Ferb made this multimedia presentation.

[Phineas] We shrink the sub down with Ferb and me in it

and put in in Pinky's dog food.

After he eats us, the sub extrudes two mechanical arms,

which fold up the sash to microscopic size

and pull it into the sash storage unit.

Finally we pilot up into the mouth and have Pinky drool us out. Easy.

-Gross, but cool! -[panting]

But Pinky will eat anything but dog food.

He likes grilled cheese sandwiches.

[shudders]

Not a problem. You make the sandwich. We'll make the sub.

[shudders]

OK, a subatomic shrinking module, hydrostatic ballast tank,

and a case of double-a batteries. Sign here, please.

Aren't you wondering if we're a little young to be building a submarine?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Yeah. We get that a lot.

One grilled cheese sandwich, hot off the... Oh!

-[ominous music] -[Isabella] Cool!

Hey, Isabella. You're just in time.

You guys amaze me.

When we're inside, we'll activate the shrinkage.

You take care of the rest.

-Check it out, Pinky, your favorite. -[engine whirring]

Ready?

It worked! All right, Pinky-Winky, time for some cheesy-weesy!

[cat yowls, hisses]

-[barking] -No! Pinky!

Chasing the cat is so cliche! You're better than that!

-[tension music] -Listen up!

Jeremy will be here any second, I wanna tell you...

Oh! Grilled cheese!

My favorite. Might as well eat now so I don't look like a pig on my date.

♪ Doofenshmirtz's Abandoned Vacuum Cleaner Factory! ♪

[gasps] Perry the Platypus. I...

You know, we always do the same thing.

I have a scheme. You try to stop me.

I trap you. I tell you my scheme. You escape.

Then we fight, and I'm defeated. Let's mix it up a little.

Let me tell you what. I will tell you my scheme first,

and then I will trap you. What do you say? Huh?

Yeah, this is much better. OK, so here it is.

The Make-Up-Your-Mind-Inator!

[chuckles]

You know, when you're waiting to order a pizza

and the person in front of you can't decide on a topping.

Oh, I hate that! I hate it! [mumbles]

I will destroy anyone who can't make up their mind!

[echoes] Destroy anyone

who can't make up their mind!

Ferb and I can't seem to make up our minds.

Should I go with Make-Up-Your-Mind-Inator?

Or is that too-on-the-nose? It's funny.

Now I can't make up my mind.

[groaning]

Perry the Platypus! What are...

Well, I... I did not see that coming.

-[beep] -Calling headquarters, huh? Hmm.

Yes, you... you didn't even give me a chance to trap you.

See? I was going to put you in that giant snow globe over there.

-Now I have to return it. -[beep]

Agent P! What's wrong?

Oh! You caught Doofenshmirtz, huh? That's weird.

Usually he traps you. Then you escape and then...

We mixed it up a little!

Hang tight, Agent P. Backup is on the way.

I mean, it would be, if we had some. Uh, I'm gonna make some calls.

[chewing noisily] Oh, yeah. This is good.

It worked!

Pinky's chewing. Prepare for swallowing.

-[doorbell] -[gasps]

Jeremy's here! [swallows]

[Phineas] Whoa! Whoa!

[sonar pinging]

Wow. Pinky's neck is really long.

Hey, Candace.

Hi, Jeremy.

[Phineas] Whoa!

-[belches] -[giggles]

Excuse me.

We did it, Ferb. We're inside Pinky.

How about a little road trip music?

♪ Just the two of us ♪

♪ In an esophagus ♪

♪ It's time to get this mission rollin' ♪

♪ Don't wanna make a fuss But that was the pancreas ♪

♪ Look down before We reach the colon ♪

♪ On the hemoglobin highway, Hemoglobin ♪

♪ In a mini submarine ♪

♪ In a mini submarine ♪

♪ If you're goin' my way ♪

♪ You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Hang a left at the spleen... ♪

Now to find that sash.

Hey, tacos!

Ah, tacos.

You know who makes the best tacos? Mom.

These kind of remind me of the ones we had... for dinner last night.

Hey, Pinky didn't have dinner with us.

Wait a minute. Candace's favorite cereal?

[cell phone ringing] Hello?

Phineas, where are you? Pinky ran away,

and when I came back, the sandwich was gone!

-OK, let me call you back. -[beep]

Yeah, we're inside Candace's stomach.

That's creepy on so many levels.

[chorus harmonizes]

This backup of yours is taking forever.

I have a travel chess set in my bag over there.

Do you play chess? Over there, actually.

[laughs maniacally]

I tricked you, Perry the Platypus! [laughs]

Do you like my Any-Flat-Surface-Magnet-Belt?

It sticks to any flat surface.

[chuckles]

Guess what? There's no travel chess set

in this bag either.

[groans]

There was one of these in both bags, so whichever one you chose,

you would be stuck. Just like I'm... stuck... right now.

What, uh... wh-what time is that backup getting here again?

[Phineas] Oh, here we are. Let's tap into Candace's

nerve center so we can see what she sees.

-[beep] -Ears. Eyes.

Look, we're getting an image. She's on her date with Jeremy.

That means we're on a date with Jeremy.

Again, creepy on so many levels.

-[beep] -[cell phone ringing]

[Candace] Oh, excuse me. My phone is ringing.

Hello?

[Phineas] Candace, I know this sounds weird,

but Ferb and I shrunk down in a submarine.

We were in that sandwich you ate, and now we're in your stomach.

[nervous chuckle]

Are you wacko? Don't call me.

Wait. We can prove it. How do we prove it?

[laughing] Whoo! Yeah!

-[whispering] What is going on? -Hey, monkey bars.

Do you still get sick when you hang upside down?

Yeah. Why?

Sorry, Candace. We have to help Isabella.

So, arms and legs!

Candace, are you OK?

[chuckling] Never better.

Never better!

[stammering]

Phineas, I'm going to... [gulps]

It's working! All right! Yeah!

What happened?

Candace, are you sure you're OK?

-[gulps] -Come on, my uncle's

restaurant is right over here.

Any other ideas?

[coughs, clears throat] I have a tickle in my throat.

-[clears throat] -Stay right here.

I'm gonna go get some water.

[coughs]

[Phineas] We did it!

-You guys are so busted! -Oh, hey, Candace.

-[speed dial] -[Linda] Hello?

Mom, Phineas and Ferb built a shrinking submarine!

Candace, I'll see it later.

Right now I have to swing by Jeremy's uncle's restaurant

and pick up some sandwiches

-for your father. -Perfect!

[ominous music]

Farewell, Perry the Platypus!

Mom, mom, mom! Submarine! Submarine!

-Ah! -[thud]

♪ Perry ♪

[whirring]

See? It's a submarine!

-[grunts] -So... imaginative.

Hey, I been lookin' everywhere for you guys!

Pinky threw up and I got my sash back!

Hmm. Gross, but cool.

-Speakin' of pets. -[chattering]

Where you been, Perry?

Candace, I have a surprise for you.

-Check it out. -[rustle]

-[romantic music] -[Candace] Sandwich menu?

"The Candace Special"?

Oh, you had a sandwich named after me?

Yeah. Grilled cheese, 'cause I know it's your favorite.

[beeping]

Shall we eat inside?

This is the end of a perfect day.

My very own sandwich!

I can't wait to try it.

[whimpers]

[belches]

[burps]

[Doofenshmirtz] Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

[snoring]

[Doofenshmirtz] Hello? Where am I?

Oh, it's all gastrointestiney in here.

Hmm... Brain.

I'm inside a dog!

Perfect.

Now I can pee all over the Tri-State Area!

[laughs maniacally]

[sighs] Oh, what am I doing with my life?