Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something That doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a Dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[Dad] You know, kids, this theater was built

over 70 years ago in this Neo-Egyptian style.

And apparently there used to be a whole pharaoh's tomb display

with a mummy in a sarcophagus.

I mean, you couldn't pick a better place to watch a classic, old mummy movie.

There's an inscription here.

An incantation of some sort.

"Owah Tagu Siam."

Dad, where do you find a mummy?

Hidden deep in the bowels of the pyramids.

-[cell phone rings] -Oops, better put this on vibrate.

The incantation will make the mummy come to life

and obey your commands.

Well, beat me with a chicken.

-Ow! -[chicken clucks]

[fighting]

-[explorer] Stop! -Cool.

Dad, is it hard to get into a pyramid?

Yes, indeed.

Often you had to negotiate various booby traps

that were set centuries before.

You ridiculous mummy.

You've just tripped one of your own booby traps.

She's gonna blow!

[screaming]

Awesome booby trap!

Ferb, we should get our own mummy.

♪ Ba da ba ba da bah ♪

♪ Let me tell you about my buddy ♪

♪ He's 3,000 years old ♪

♪ He's wrapped in bandages And covered in moldy debris ♪

♪ My undead mummy and me ♪

♪ Mm-hmm ♪

♪ If a bully ever tries To poke me in the eye ♪

♪ I'll introduce him To my decomposing guy and he'll flee ♪

♪ From my undead mummy and me ♪

[blows nose]

♪ All the kids at school Are going to have a conniption ♪

♪ When they get a load Of my funky Egyptian emcee ♪

[scratches record]

♪ My undead mummy and me ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Undead mummy and me ♪

That would be awesome.

-Dad, can we... -[snores]

Come on, Ferb, we'll be back before he wakes up.

Oh, those bozos aren't pulling anything on my watch!

[grunts]

Hey, Ferb, where's Perry?

Good morning, Agent P. Doofenshmirtz is at it again.

It appears that he's purchased a string of odd items.

"One pound of blood sausage--"

Uh, that's my grocery list.

Here it is. "One magnet,

one map of the city's drainage pipes, and two tons of scrap metal."

It's in your hands now, Agent P.

Over and out.

♪ Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah ♪

♪ Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah ♪

[computer] Dive. Dive. Dive.

[crash]

[metal scraping]

Mr. Employee, sir, where's the mummy exhibit?

Manager assistance requested.

Yes?

These boys want to know where the mummy exhibit is.

It's in storage. In the basement.

Guess who's going to the basement!

Uh, excuse me. Where are the restrooms?

Manager assistance requested.

Yes?

There they go.

Look! Pith helmets!

We must be going the right way.

Say something pithy.

That's it, I'm calling Dad.

[phone vibrating]

[laughs]

Oh...

Oh, forget it. I'm going in myself.

[screaming]

Did you hear that? Maybe it's the mummy.

[screaming]

Ew, my shoe is all squishy.

[rumbling]

[clanking]

Uh, Ferb, what are you doing?

Whoa.

Who knew looking for mummies would be so much fun?

Watch this.

Ugh!

Hey, Ferb, this was our first booby trap.

Whoo! Hey, look. Storage. We're here.

Oh, when I catch them...

-[gasps] -[clanking]

[screaming]

[clang]

Oh, give me a break!

[ding]

[ding]

[elevator music playing]

[gasps]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[crash]

Bubblegum?

Oh, really old, stale bubblegum.

[growls]

[horror music]

Phineas!

[Doofenshmirtz humming]

Almost done. Just this one more little bit.

[whoosh]

Perry the Platypus.

As usual, your timing is incredible.

And by incredible, of course I mean, completely credible!

No use, Perry the Platypus.

I made this out of something that cannot be penetrated!

Pure evil!

And a blend of space-aged polymers.

You see, Perry the Platypus, I'm going to unleash the water

being held by this dam into that huge drainage pipe

that leads directly to the ocean.

The additional water will raise the sea level by 2%,

and then my property one block from the shoreline

will become beachfront property!

[cackles]

And to release the water from the dam, I've invented a ray, which attracts wood

like a magnet attracts metal.

The Wood-Inator!

Which was almost complete until you rudely interrupted me.

Oh, look at this, Perry. It's my paintbrush.

You know, the one you knocked out of my hand a few moments ago.

Maybe you want to try to take it back from me now, huh?

Huh, you want to try? Ha ha ha! Goodbye, Perry the Platypus.

[cackling]

Owah Tagu Siam!

-[squeak] -[air hissing]

There's nothing down here but fakey promotional lobby junk.

For all we know, there might not even be such thing as a mummy.

Yeah, I'll be right with you.

I mean-- [gasps]

[muffled] Phineas.

[screams]

-[Candace grunting] -[Egyptian guitar solo plays]

[grunting]

[Candace] Ah!

[music stops]

Wow, I didn't expect them to be so scary.

I mean, can you imagine the angry, twisted soul hidden under those bandages?

Phineas!

Makes me shudder.

But you know what?

We came down here looking for a mummy, and I'm not leaving without one.

Let's get him!

[Egyptian guitar solo continues]

[music stops]

Hey, Ferb.

We got our own mummy!

Now, how are we going to get it home?

And... finished!

[beep]

[chattering]

[trilling]

[drilling sound]

♪ Perry! ♪

It is working! Ha ha!

This is functioning properly.

[chattering]

[gasps] Perry the Platypus.

You defeated my bubble of pure evil?

Oh!

Oh, no!

What?

Is my nose really that pointy?

[screaming]

Oh! No!

[screaming]

You know what this is? Our second booby trap.

-There you are, Perry. -[chattering]

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah!

Hey, Candace, you missed all the fun.

Allow me to introduce our mummy.

Hey, where's our mummy? Mummy?

Mummy!

Well, Mummy has supper waiting for us at home.

Candace, why are you all wet?

[groans]

You know, mummies had their brains pulled out through their nose.

[scoffs] The lucky ones.

[romantic music playing]

[singing off-key] I met my love in--

Oh, boy, did that kid stink or what?

But maybe you've got what it takes to be...

The Next Super American Pop Teen Idol Star!

Auditions open today at the Googolplex mall

in beautiful downtown Danville.

Auditions? Today?

Yes, today! At two o'clock sharp.

I've gotta tell Stacy.

Oh!

That pop star stuff might be fun at first, but then you'd be stuck in a dead-end job.

Too bad you can't just do it once and move on.

Well, what you're talking about is a one-hit wonder.

A one-hit wonder? What's that?

Well, a musical act goes to the top of the charts

with a catchy tune and meaningless lyrics.

♪ I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun ♪

♪ She wants to have fun ♪

[Mom] Then they throw a big diva tantrum,

lose their label, and they fade to obscurity.

Before you know it, their song ends up as elevator music.

[elevator music playing]

Years later they have a reunion concert.

And after that, they never sing again,

and no one remembers them.

Heh. Not that I would know anything about that.

A one-hit wonder.

Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

[plays note]

-Stacy, what am I going to sing? -Hello? What are you going to wear?

Hmm.

What do you think?

Too much.

Too little. Ugh, too clean.

Too dirty.

Too street.

Too goth.

Where'd you get that?

From my mom's closet. You like it?

No, too retro.

[buzzer]

-[ding] -Perfect!

-Nice, huh? -Yeah, you should've tried that on first.

Let's go!

Chicka, chicka, choo, wah.

Meaningless lyrics done.

How's the catchy tune coming along?

[plays piano note]

Excellent. We'll be done by lunch.

Hey, where'd Perry go?

[spy music plays]

[toilet flushes]

Hello? Hello?

Anybody there?

Oh! Good morning, Agent P.

We just received word that Dr. Doofenshmirtz

has been buying up construction toys at an alarming rate.

We need you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.

♪ Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah ♪

♪ Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah ♪

♪ Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah ♪

♪ Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah ♪

♪ Perry! ♪

[Mom] We'll meet back at the entrance in an hour.

Come on, Stacy!

We've gotta hurry so we can get a spot in li-- ya, ya, ya.

[gasps]

I've never sang in front of so many people.

Uh, Candace.

[gasps]

I can't do this.

Oh, yes, you can. You're not a quitter, you're a fighter.

-I am? -Sure you are.

You're a lean, mean, singing machine.

[growls]

That's it! Yeah!

Now you're looking like a winner.

-[panting] -Hey, Candace.

And that is what a gorilla looks like when you try to take away his food.

Oh, hi, Jeremy.

Are you auditioning, too?

Nah. I came to see this hot new band called PFT.

I downloaded their song this morning.

It's tight.

The hundredth contestant gets to sing on stage with the band.

-Really? -[bells dinging]

Hey, looks like that's you.

Congratulations!

You're the hundredth contestant.

[man over speaker] Ladies and gentlemen,

this young lady has the honor of singing on stage with PFT.

So now, the band you've been waiting for...

Phineas and Ferb-Tones!

Phineas?

Candace? You're the hundredth contestant?

How serendipitous.

This'll be like a brother and sister thing.

Now, I'm assuming you've heard our single.

I mean, who hasn't, right? It's a big hit.

So here's the words, but don't worry if you get lost,

the lyrics are meaningless anyway.

I'll point when it's your turn.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Ferbettes.

I'm Phineas and this is Ferb, and we're gonna sing a song.

♪ Bow, chicka, bow-wow ♪

♪ That's what my baby says ♪

♪ Mow, mow, mow ♪

♪ And my heart starts pumping ♪

♪ Chicka, chicka, choo wah ♪

♪ Never gonna stop ♪

♪ Gitchee gitchee goo Means that I love you ♪

♪ I said a bow, chicka, bow-wow ♪

♪ That's what my baby says ♪

♪ Mow, mow, mow ♪

♪ And my heart starts pumping ♪

♪ Chicka, chicka, choo wah ♪

♪ Never gonna stop ♪

♪ Gitchee gitchee goo Means that I love you ♪

♪ I said a bow, chicka, bow-wow ♪

-Candace! -[music stops]

[cricket chirping]

Wait a minute! What are you doing?

I'm cueing you.

How did you get a hit single?

Well, it wasn't easy.

It took most of the morning and half a dozen phone calls.

But if you're willing to put in the work--

That's it! I'm gonna tell Mom.

OK. Tell her what?

[guy coughing]

Oh, I'm just gonna tell.

♪ Gitchee gitchee goo Means that I love you ♪

Mom, Mom, Mom! Mom, you've got to see this.

Let me guess, is it unbelieva--

Come on, come on, come on!

Hi, I'm Ben Baxter, Huge-O-Records.

Why don't you come by my office in an hour and we can talk about your future.

Future? Cool.

He must be a psychic.

Come on, come on, come on!

See? There they are on stage.

[man] Ladies and gentlemen,

once again, Marty the Rabbit Boy and his Musical Blender!

[classical music playing]

[whirring]

Hon, we're getting you an eye exam.

No! No, wait.

♪ Perry! ♪

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

Ha ha! Everything is ready.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, what is it now?

Oh, are you my new temp?

Well, let me just get you up to speed.

I know it's a bit of a mess. I'm just putting the finishing touches

on my latest maniacal plan.

You see, in a few minutes,

I will unleash an unprecedented reign of terror

upon the entire Tri-State Area.

And Perry the Platypus will never be the wiser.

[gasps] Perry the Platypus!

You're a temp?

Are times that hard?

Oh, I told Mom I don't need glasses.

What the...

No. No, wait!

[groans]

Ma!

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

Sorry, Perry the Platypus,

but you're too late.

[people screaming]

Oh, this one's nice.

Mom, come here. You've got to see this.

-But, Candace... -[alarm sounds]

-I haven't paid for this yet. -Hey!

Ha ha ha! When it comes to havoc,

nobody wreaks like me.

Whoa! Wait you're not supposed to touch that.

Hey, no fair!

[machine powers down]

[Isabella] Wow, what a great painting.

How did you get permission for that?

Oh, they didn't mind. The building's scheduled for demolition.

See?

[screams]

Uh, ma'am, you're gonna have to come back and pay for that.

Yes, of course, officer.

[screams]

Hey, weren't you Lindana?

Yes, I was!

I can't believe you recognized me.

Well, I was a huge fan.

-You still have to pay for the jacket. -I know.

[Doofenshmirtz] Very clever, Perry the Platypus.

I was trying to ignore you,

but you forced my hand.

And now...

I shall relax with a nice, tasty deli platter.

Oh, ho ho. Where are my manners?

Here you go, Perry the Platypus.

Care for some pepper?

Just say when.

Any time.

[Ben] Boys, let me start by saying we love your act,

and we want to be in the Phineas and the Ferb-Tones business.

By the way, aren't you a little young to be pop stars?

No.

Well, OK then.

We're prepared to offer you a very lucrative contract

if you'll just sign exclusively with us for your follow-up single.

Follow-up single?

Who do you think we are, some two-bit hacks

who'll keep writing new songs

just because you pay us obscene amounts of cash?

Phineas and the Ferb-Tones are strictly a one-hit wonder.

Good day to you, sir!

Diva tantrum, check.

["Gitchee Gitchee Goo" playing]

Elevator music, check.

Ah, who needs them?

We've still got this videotape of their performance.

We can do live CDs, DVDs, podcasts.

Heck, we can digitally recreate their images

to make our own sitcom,

The Phineas & Ferb show.

We can squeeze 20 years of entertainment out of this one videotape.

Ah! The giant robot is coming right at us.

Wow, you sure like a lot of pepper.

I'm more of a paprika man, myself.

[coughs]

It will take more than condiments

to foil my brilliant plan.

[groaning]

Achoo!

The tape!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[boing]

Whew, what an unbelievable stroke of luck.

Ow!

I'm OK.

I'm still better than the--

[muffled] Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Oh, there you are, Perry.

[chattering]

Come on, guys, we still have one thing left to do.

And the winner of today's

Next Super American Pop Teen Idol Star is...

Marty the Rabbit Boy and his Musical Blender!

Oh, give him a hand.

He's going to Hollywood.

Hey, Candace. What's wrong?

I'm better than that guy.

Oh, I should've taken blender lessons.

So, why did you run off earlier?

My brothers!

They always ruin everything.

-Well, you like to sing, right? -Yeah.

Then you shouldn't let your brothers' fun ruin your good time.

You know, if you get a chance to sing, you ought to sing.

I gotta go. I'll see you later.

[drums playing]

[Phineas] Hey. Candace.

You're still the hundredth contestant.

Want to come up and help us out?

♪ Bow, chicka, bow-wow ♪

♪ That's what my baby says ♪

♪ Mow, mow, mow ♪

♪ And my heart starts pumping ♪

♪ Chicka, chicka, choo wah ♪

♪ Never gonna stop ♪

♪ Gitchee gitchee goo Means that I love you ♪

♪ I said a bow, chicka, bow-wow ♪

♪ That's what my baby says ♪

♪ Mow, mow, mow ♪

♪ And my heart starts pumping ♪

♪ Chicka, chicka, choo wah ♪

♪ Never gonna stop ♪

♪ Gitchee gitchee goo Means that I love you ♪

♪ Gitchee gitchee goo Means that I love you ♪

♪ Gitchee gitchee goo Means that I love you baby ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby ♪

♪ Gitchee gitchee goo Means that I love you ♪

[cheering]

That was great!

I've been thinking of my brothers all wrong.

They're not a nuisance, they're my ticket to--

Thanks, you've been great!

This is the last time we're ever gonna sing that song.

We're retiring. Good night!

[man] The mall is now closed and will re-open at 9 a.m. tomorrow.

Thank you for shopping with us.

♪ She's Lindana ♪

♪ I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun... ♪

[announcer] You loved her in the eighties. Get ready to love her again.

Lindana's mega hit, "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun"

has been remixed and retranslated into your favorite languages:

Portuguese, Dutch, Canadian, Japanese, Esperanto, Pig Latin, Dog,

and everyone's favorite...

Hey, Mom, what you watching?

Oh, nothing.

♪ She wants to have fun ♪

♪ I wanna, wanna have fun, fun, fun! ♪